• Published 10th Jan 2013
  • 4,598 Views, 673 Comments

Buck My Life - JasontheDemon



Yes, I am a brony... the rare kind that DOESN'T WANT TO BE STUCK IN EQUESTRIA! This story is one about me, my life, and my overwhelming desire to return back to where I belong. But the longer I stay, the more my resolve weakens.

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Sick day

Sick day

About nine days had passed since I helped the CMC get their cutie marks, but everything had stayed the same! Instead of leaving the random daily activities behind them, they continued undaunted. They said that they didn’t care if they had their cutie marks now, as long as they were friends they would always try to have fun together, and that meant every other day or so they would slam into the front door... just like before... with some stupid goal in mind. It was like they were just trying to torture me. But I digress, it was nice to see that they were staying so close. I knew from experience that maintaining a strong friendship was difficult, or at least for me it was.


I was still asleep and having the most wonderful dream. I was dreaming that I was back home and everything was perfectly normal. There was no ponies, no dragons, no magical bull crap to speak of... until my scaly alarm clock decided to go off.


“DUSK!” Spike shouted right by my ear, startling me awake. (Yes, they finally got used to calling me by my new name.)


“SPIKE! HOW DOES THIS FEEL?!” I shouted back in his ear to give him a taste of his own medicine. He held a claw up to his head and cringed. I knew he wanted to blast me with his fire breath but something more important seemed to be on his mind.


“LISTEN! There’s something wrong with Twilight!” he shouted in a panic.


“Uh-huh... and I’m a hairless monkey.” I said still half asleep, trying to get my wits about me.


“I’m serious!”


“No duh genius, so was I. In case you forgot, I’m not a real pony. Now what is going on with Twilight?” I asked, rubbing my eyes before putting on my lens-less glasses.

* * * * * *

Spike led me upstairs to Twilights bed where she was still laying. He continued to tell me everything he knew, which contained a lot of ‘I-don’t-know’s’. It was obvious that Spike was very worried and didn’t know how to stay calm under pressure. He kept pacing around and biting the tips of his claws frantically. Twilight was awake but totally out of it. She softly moaned and then coughed, shaking and moaning louder afterwards. I saw these symptoms before, many times as a matter of fact, but just to make it more dramatic I decided to do a ‘medical examination’.


I levitated a random book from the bookcase, hiding the cover from Spike so he wouldn’t notice it was actually a romance novel. I furrowed my brow and flipped through the pages like I was looking for the right one. I stopped suddenly and put my hoof on the text, moving it back and forth as though I was reading it. I put my wrist to Twilights forehead. She was burning hot.


“Twilight? I need you to open your mouth. Say ‘ah’ please.”


Twilight did as I said and I saw that her throat was bright red.


“Oh no! it’s just as I feared!” I said acting like Twilights life was in peril, even though that was hardly a possibility. “Spike! Get an ice bag, some blankets, a rolling pin, a pencil and a tub of frozen yogurt! STAT!”


Spike ran off and came back surprisingly quickly with everything like I had asked and even a spoon for the frozen yogurt. I threw a couple blankets over Twilight and put the ice on her head. She shivered a little more but that was normal. I then set the rolling pin on the floor in front of Spike and levitated the pencil, placing it in his claw.


“Spike, hurry and stand that pencil up on your nose!” I shouted.


“Huh?! Why?!” He asked, completely befuddled.


“Who is the expert here?! Just do it!” I yelled brashly. He hastily put the pencil on his nose and balanced it the best he could. “Good, now balance on the rolling pin!”


“B-but-”


“DO IT!” I yelled again while opening the frozen yogurt. Being too hysterical to think rationally, the little dragon followed every command. “Okay now say ‘she sells sea shells by the sea shore’!”


“She sells sea shells by the seashore!”


I took a spoon and scooped out some of the chilled dessert. “Now say ‘I’m a gullible chump who will fall for anything’. She only has a cold Einstein...”, I said calmly before placing the spoon in my mouth and taking a bite of the sweet strawberry flavoured substance. Spike immediately fell face first on the floor. He muttered something while his face was pressed against the wood floor. Not knowing what he said, I held a hoof to my ear I asked, “I’m sorry, what was that?”


“I said ‘I hate you’...” Spike grumbled as he picked himself up.


“I know you do, but in all seriousness we will still need a few things... orange juice, some soup, powdered Vitamin C...”


“Powdered Vitamin C? What do we need that for?” Spike asked with his eyebrow raised in confusion.


“It’s the best thing I have found for fighting off this kind of sickness. You can pump whatever you want into your body but nothing compares to what your own immune system can do when you give it a chance. I know this from experience, Vitamin C is like a miracle cure when used correctly.” I explained.


Without another word Spike rushed downstairs and out the door. Twilight started to fully wake up and become more aware of her surroundings. I half expected her to get sick the day before since I heard her coughing and sniffling throughout the day. When I was younger I couldn’t go a week without catching some sort of bug, so I had experience in all kinds of medical remedies. I was so good in fact that I used to correct the teacher multiple times in health class at school. I guess it was a good thing I came to Equestria when I did because Spike didn’t know what to do, which in turn told me that Twilight must have had a very good immune system and rarely got sick.


“Could you get me a glass of water? I’m kind of thirsty...” Twilight asked out of the blue.


I went and fetched a glass out of the kitchen cupboard then turned on the faucet. To my surprise, Discord poured out and manifested in front of me. I ignored him and turned on the water again to fill the glass.


“That’s it? Not even a friendly ‘hello Discord, how are you this fine day’? Nothing?” Discord said mockingly.


“I don’t have time for you right now, and you shouldn’t be here in the first place. What if someone sees you talking to me? We had an agreement... I strengthen my magic, you send me home... nothing more.”


Discord lounged back and began floating around me. “Well I just felt like reminding you of where you belong. You seem to be getting awfully close to Celestia's little pupil.”


“I don’t see what you’re talking about. I am exactly the same as I was before. Nothing has changed between us.” I said apathetically.


“Then why have you changed your name? Why did you risk your own life to save her from a dragon? What reason do you have for taking care of her? I can see what’s going on... you are beginning to like her and I just wanted to remind you of the human you used to be... like it or not, you are changing and it isn’t I who is compromising your return home. I suggest you look in a mirror sometime and see if you recognize the one looking back.”


With a snap of his fingers, Discord vanished, leaving me by myself. He had no idea what he was talking about. I wasn’t getting closer to Twilight... at least not any more than necessary. I was still me and I was still determined to return to Earth. I wasn’t different... was I?


“Is everything okay down there?” Twilight yelled with a raspy voice.


“Yeah, everything’s fine.” I yelled in return.


I went upstairs and levitated the water to Twilights lips. She took a few small sips and laid back down. Spike soon returned with the things I had asked for. I mixed in about two teaspoons of the vitamin C with a small glass of orange juice and told Twilight to drink it. What I didn’t tell her was that pure Vitamin C was remarkably sour. She puckered her lips after the first taste and I snickered from her reaction. I ensured her that it would make her feel better by tomorrow and she hesitantly drank it little by little.


Once I finally convinced Twilight to take a nap, I asked Spike to follow me outside for a few words.


“So what are you planning to do to me this time? Drop a piano on my head? Send me to Appleloosa on a rocket?”


I looked down and apologized the best I could, “I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like I hated you... I just always pick on someone for some reason. It’s kind of a bonding thing to me, I find somebody somewhat similar to me and mess with them then they mess with me back... the next thing I know I’m reminiscing about what I did to the person and we both share a laugh. But once again, I... apologize for anything that you feel I did unjustly.”


Spike looked at me suspiciously and said, “Okay, who are you and what did you do to the real Dusk?”


“I am me, or maybe I’m not... see that's why I wanted to talk to you. I want to know if I’ve changed since you first met me.” I said, still deep in thought.


“No, you are still the same jerk that poured hot sauce in my cereal two days ago... I know you didn’t think I would like it, but thanks anyway.”


“I suppose I should have known spicing up a dragons food wouldn’t work... but that wasn’t what I meant. I want to know if I’ve been kind on a grand scale. You know, random good deeds, polite... nicer to Twilight? I just don’t know if I will be the same guy next week that I am right now... I don’t even know who I was before all this.”


“Listen man, I don’t know how any of that matters but there once was this saying, ‘yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery...’”


“‘But today is a gift... that is why it's called the present’.” I finished, knowing the quote by heart. For once Spike provided me with much needed wisdom. He was right. I was dwelling too much on what was and what might be instead of focusing on what is. The present was all that really mattered at the moment, and right now the moment consisted of a sick Twilight that I needed to take care of because no one else could.


Spike got busy finishing the leftover chores while I went back up to Twilight's room and saw that she was awake and using her magic to build a house of cards. I sat by her bed and said, “I take it you are feeling better...”


“Yeah, a liddle...” she said back with a small sniffle. As she went to finish the house of cards, it fell and she let out a groan and flopped back on her bed. “I hade be-eg sick... theres duth-eg da do...” she whined, barely comprehensible with her stuffy nose.


I had to agree with her at that. There really was few things she could do here while sick. The lack of video games or TV made it rather dull even without being sick. From what I gathered, she already knew most of the books in the library by heart so reading wasn’t a good way to pass the time for her. I tried to think of another way I could keep her preoccupied, and quickly thought of the perfect thing.


“How are you at answering riddles?”


She rocked her hoof horizontally in the air to reply ‘so-so’. That was good enough for me though. A well made riddle could keep her wits sharp whilst holding her attention for an extended period of time. I had a few riddles up my sleeve from years ago. I memorized them because they were the most challenging ones I had come across and I liked how their simple answers would throw even the best minds off. Hopefully they weren’t so difficult that Twilight would want to quit after hearing them.


“Okay, so it goes like this... ‘It begins every entrance and exit. It is essential to creation but it also ends life...’, What is it?”


“Oooh, thats a toughy... huh...” Twilight said her eyes fixated on the ceiling while her head remained resting on her pillow. I relaxed and let Twilight solve it on her own. I provided no hints or help, but she managed to come up with the correct answer sooner than I had anticipated. It only took her twenty minutes at most to figure it out.


“E...” She said quietly.


I instantly perked up and listened with with shock at her sudden answer. “What was that?”


Twilight sniffled, sat up and turned towards me, “The adswer... its the ledder ‘E’, right?”


She was indeed correct. The answer to one of my hardest riddles was the letter ‘E’. After she got it right, I gave her a more difficult one... or at least I thought it was more difficult, but she solved it even faster than the first. The trend of more difficult riddles followed by faster answers continued for the next three problems. I finally gave up because her increased speed overtime defied all logic... and I ran out of riddles to ask.


I noticed that Twilight only seemed to be suffering from congestion right now, so I told her to take a shower in order to relieve it. She was a little woozy from being in bed all day and the fact that her sinuses probably had more pressure than a car tire didn’t help. I helped her in the tub and waited outside the door. I instructed her to use very hot water so the steam would help her. I knew that next to my Vitamin C approach, a nice hot shower was the perfect thing for a cold. Not only did it help you breath, it also relaxed your muscles and helped stabilize your core body temperature by killing the virus faster. Most people say that you are supposed to use cold water to cool the body but the reason why we have fevers in the first place is because the germs in our bodies can’t survive the warmer temperature. Fevers KILL the cold. However, if your body overdoes it, you can die as well. So it’s just a matter of staying warm, but not so much that you kill yourself along with the germs invading your body. I found the best way to do this was with showers.


Once Twilight finished the shower she came out with a whole new look to her. She seemed to glow with vitality. She flopped down in her bed and let out a very content sigh.


“Looks like someone liked the shower...” I said, staring at her while she smiled in complete bliss.


“It... was... wonderful. You sure know your way around a cold. To think that this morning I felt like I was dying.”


“Trust me, you have no idea what dying feels like.” I told her as I laughed lightly. “I’ve been close on more than one occasion and let me just say that it feels almost like somebody is ripping you apart from the inside out and sucking out every bit of energy in you until you want to die just so the agony will be over.”


Twilight grew pale and replied with a creeped out smile. “Y-you certainly have a way with words...”


For the next few hours Twilight, Spike and I played games. Not video games like I would have preferred, but card games, board games, guessing games, and the like. Spike and I were only interested beating each other so typically Twilight beat the pants off of us both because while we were busy pushing the other down, she would only be building herself up to win. At one point I saw Spike trying to peek at my cards so I turned them the other way... and accidentally gave Twilight a good long look. The point is, don’t play with ponies... they’re all a bunch of cheaters.


As the night went on, the cold regained its strength and Twilight had to lay down. Spike was already told to go to bed so he had no idea the fever had returned. Twilight was bundled up in many thick blankets but she was still shaking more than jello during an earthquake. I thought that she was going to feel worse once it got late because when I was sick my fevers would always peak around midnight. I checked her temperature with the thermometer in the bathroom. It was 104.3 degrees... it was on the border of a very high grade fever. I rushed downstairs, got the ice pack, filled it, and quickly returned to place it on Twilights head. The look in her eyes seemed to say that the lights were on but there was nobody home. They looked vacant and soulless. For the next half hour I sat by her and made sure the ice was cooling her down. Suddenly Twilight said something... something unexpected.


“Dusk... I want you to know that I like you.”


Confused by her random, out-of-nowhere comment, I replied, “I... like you too?”


“No I mean I really like you. I’ve liked you for a while and I don’t want to hide it anymore. I really do like you, you know what I’m saying, right?”


I sat there for a few moments trying to comprehend what she was saying. I mean I knew what she was trying to say, but why?! What was making her say this?! The cold? Yeah that must have been it.


“Great... you’re delirious! This is not good. I am not a trained doctor and this calls for an expert. I guess I’ll just take you to the hospital and-”


“I’m not delirious...” Twilight said, interrupting my panicked yammering. “I don’t think I’ve ever been so sure of something in my life. Ever since I met you, you’ve been the most interesting pony I’ve ever had the pleasure to talk to. I just thought you should know that if I don’t make it.”


I calmly went into the bathroom and retrieved a pill that I came across while searching for the thermometer. I popped open the bottle and pulled one out. Making my way back, I kept the small tablet hidden from Twilights sight.


“Hey Twilight what sound does a sheep make?”


“Is this part of a game or something?” She asked wearily.


“Yes, now tell me so you can win...”


“The sheep says ‘baa’-ACK!” Twilight gagged as I shot the pill down her throat. It didn’t even take two seconds for the sleeping aid to knock her out. Apparently they were supposed to be taken when ‘the patient’ couldn’t sleep due to anxiety. I only took drastic measures because I had no idea how else to handle what she told me and I needed some time to myself to think (that and I thought she would be better off with more rest).


Throughout the rest of the night my thoughts kept me awake. It was actually very common for me to get little sleep when I had a thought in my head, but this was different. I couldn’t sleep at all because one problem quickly turn into many within my mind. If she loved me what would happen when I had to leave? Did this give me more reason to stay? Was it right to go behind her back and make a deal with Discord when she liked me? How did my needs compare with the feelings brought up by Twilight? Was one more important than the other? And if so, which one? I sat by Twilights bed and looked out the window, listening to music while I thought. Before I knew it the sun began to rise. The song on my MP3 switched over and it felt like it was trying to send me a message. The new song was ‘Thank You (Not So Bad)’ by Dido. It made me wonder, ‘are things really all that bad here’? I heard a yawn next to me and looked over to see Twilight rubbing the sleep from her eyes.


“Good morning... sleep well?” I asked turning to look back out the window at the sunrise.

“Yeah, I slept great. What about you?”


“I didn’t...”


“Didn’t what?” she asked unaware of what I meant.


“I didn’t sleep. Someone had to make sure you were okay and since I’m a rather heavy sleeper I know you wouldn’t have been able to wake me up if something was wrong.” I said, making up why I didn’t sleep to avoid the real reason.


Twilight stayed quiet for a few moments, looking like she was trying to recall something. “You know what’s weird? I feel like I told you something last night, something important, but I can’t for the life of me remember what it was... oh well it’s probably nothing.” she said smiling brightly. I had taken this into account. Memories of right before you fall asleep aren’t easy to recollect unless you focus and even then it is very hazy. If you don't get the chance to store new information in your mind before you reach unconsciousness the signals are cut off and you don’t get a clear picture.


“Yeah, I don’t remember you telling me anything too crucial so just forget about it.” I lied, keeping my body language relaxed like a pro. I had a thought cross my mind and quietly asked, “What are the others doing next week? I think I’d like to... hang out with them.” ...while I still have the chance.