• Published 10th Jan 2013
  • 4,602 Views, 673 Comments

Buck My Life - JasontheDemon



Yes, I am a brony... the rare kind that DOESN'T WANT TO BE STUCK IN EQUESTRIA! This story is one about me, my life, and my overwhelming desire to return back to where I belong. But the longer I stay, the more my resolve weakens.

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Justification of a madman

Justification of a madman

I woke with a splitting headache that felt like someone had hit me with a sledgehammer. It wasn’t totally unbearable but it still hurt. I cracked opened my eyes and was blinded with light, causing me to close them and try again.


“I think he’s waking up!” I heard Twilight say excitedly.


“Thank you, Captain Obvious...” I groaned, fluttering my eyelids to get adjusted to the light in the room. My vision was blurry at first but eventually cleared, revealing Twilight to my left and Celestia straight ahead by the door. I seemed to be in a room resembling a that of a hospital, meaning I must have been injured somehow and in need of medical treatment.


“Are you feeling okay?” Twilight asked, clearly concerned for my health.


I rolled my eyes and sarcastically replied, “Well besides having the worlds largest migraine, oh yeah, never better...”


“Good!”


*SMACK!*


Twilight slapped me with her hoof so hard that even Celestia could hear the sound from across the room. I held my own hoof to my stinging cheek and shouted, “What the hell was that for?!”


“FOR NEARLY KILLING US BOTH, USING TOO MUCH MAGIC AT ONCE, PUTTING YOUR LIFE AT RISK, AND RUNNING AWAY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!” Twilights fierce look of rage caused what happened next to surprise me. She knocked away my hoof and kissed the area of my cheek that she hit a moment before. “And that’s for saving us all...”


Stunned, I sat there a moment, then quickly rubbed my cheek. “DANG IT! If I don’t like hugs what makes you think that a kiss is any better?!”


Celestia and Twilight both giggled at my dismay. Looking at Celestia smiling like nothing was wrong made me angry and I felt like hitting her right there. If she thought I was going to let her get away with her earlier behavioUr she was dead wrong.


“I’m surprised you slept as long as you did! You were out for a whole day! Celestia said that if you had used any more magic you could have ended up seriously hurting yourself... please don’t ever do that again.” Twilight requested, using a puppy dog pout on me. However the joke was on her. I built up an immunity!


“I’ll try, but I’m not making any promises”, I said with a smirk. My playful smile faded and I turned my attention to the alabaster alicorn in the room. She met me with an equally serious stare as if to say ‘go ahead and tell her, I DARE you!’. Oh man did I want to tell her, however after contemplating possible outcomes based on the personality and knowledge Twilight possessed, I found that there was a significant chance for it to go totally wrong at that point in time. I guessed that Twilight would either side with Celestia and not believe me or she would breakdown from the truth of what her surrogate mother figure and beloved mentor had done. Either way I would only be making things worse and all Celestia stood to lose was the trust of Twilight... and I had the chance of losing my greatest ally and friend, not to mention a place to stay. So all I did was remain quiet and let the moment pass. I could tell that this was going to be a difficult battle and I would need to remain patient in order to keep the peace while also staying true to my morals.


Twilight noticed our little stare down and said, “Um, is there something going on with you two? Should I leave?”


Celestia smiled warmly and replied, “Oh no, there is no need to leave. I was just going to voice my sentence of your friend here and it will actually be better for you to be here with us.”


‘What is she thinking?! She isn’t going to really banish me in front of Twilight, is she?!’ I thought, swallowing the knot in my throat.


“I have a few concerns, many include the human race as he described...” the princess began.


“What? He told you about that? I can't even bring it up without him freaking out! And he just told you?!”, Twilight shouted, glaring disapprovingly at me. I just shrunk down trying to make myself as small as possible. I felt like I was on the receiving end of a parents lecture about bad grades (though I never got them).


“Yes, he said that they were devastatingly cruel and vicious beasts that would gladly kill for entertainment...”, Celestia continued. “However, I believe that his views are skewed and distorted from a life of loneliness and hardship. He seems to have become detached to most emotions which could very well blur his vision and keep him from seeing the kindness of his kind. If I were to view things through his eyes, I would be banishing him right now or worse. Its a good thing that I don’t though because his selfless act of saving your life at the risk of his own shows his true nature and character. Underneath all the filth and disdain of his own kind, he is a caring, compassionate and a thoughtful pony with amazing potential. Though all his qualities have a flipside. His intelligence, although substantial, is prone to madness like all great minds. The darkness inside of him from being in such a violent world is great and could easily influence him if not under a watchful eye and given attention through the love of another. And that is why......”


I braced myself for her to say ‘he shall be put to death’, but she never did.


“He will be put in your care until further notice!”


Twilight's jaw (and my own) nearly hit the floor. I didn’t know she was stunned, after all it wasn’t her life on the line. Celestia then came up beside me and smiled with a raised eyebrow.


“I don’t know why you believed I would just banish you on a whim, unless that is what the rulers in your world do. Next time, don’t be so quick to judge... I wasn’t.”, the sun goddess said with a smirk.


At that moment the door flung open, revealing my all time favourite character. If you can guess who it is you get ten points... times up. The answer is Discord. He had a bouquet of flowers in his eagle talon and casually strolled up to us in all his chaotic glory. I couldn’t believe the king of crazy was actually here! His twisted personality and zany antics were my favourite thing about him. I always found warped reality and the surreal to be fascinating, but what fascinated me more were the minds behind them. Individuals who suffered from various forms of psychosis were always the most interesting to observe because to them reality was whatever you choose it to be... the difference with Discord was that he really COULD make reality whatever he chose. There was no limit to what he could do, thus he had unlimited creativity. He was the pinnacle of thinking outside the box, because to him there was no box to think in.


“Where were you yesterday?” Celestia asked him with a slight tinge of anger.


“Oh you know... around.” He said, literally drawing a circle in the air, and I don't mean like he just did the gesture... no, there was a black VISIBLE circle in the air where he drew for a moment before it faded into nothing. I knew that I was smiling like an idiot but I didn’t care. He was just so cool to me! A life form who could bend any natural law to suit his desire was just... COOL! He noticed my smile and presented the flowers to me. My smile faded, but not for long.


Taking the flowers back, Discord stared at them and said, “Oh what was I thinking! These aren’t suitable for a unicorn who defeated a dragon with a single hoof!”. The flowers then started to glow with a gold color and morphed into various suckers and lollipops right before my very eyes. “That’s much better!” He said, setting them on my lap.


“Uh,not that I don’t appreciate the gift but... I’m not that in to sweet things.”, I said, pushing them toward Twilight. “And as for the dragon business, I would rather have Celestia get the credit for that.”


“Why?” the mismatched being asked, puzzled at my intentions just as much as the others.


“Because if Celestia is the one who took it down, no big deal. If I am the one who took it down, press going nuts, paparazzi tailing me everywhere I go, no peace anywhere. So you see I’m not doing this to boost Celestia’s reputation as much as I am trying to keep mine under wraps.” I explained.


“As degrading as that makes me feel, I must admit, it’s ingenious. The public wouldn’t think to question it and they would have no reason to snoop around and discover the truth. To them it would just be another average day.” Celestia said, putting a hoof to her chin and obviously pondering how much thought I must have put into it.


“So what are you doing here?” Twilight asked, arms folded and a look of disdain on her face.


“Oh yes, why I’m here, of course! I just thought I should see this remarkable lad for myself, and perhaps have a few words with him?” Discord said with an upward inflection causing it to sound more like a request than a statement. Celestia nodded and I got up. My first few steps were a little unbalanced and the floor felt like jello, but I was still able to walk unassisted. Discord opened the door and gave the universal sign for ‘after you’ as he held it. We walked side by side down the enormous hallways, avoiding the remaining debris that had been created by the dragon the previous day. Discords mouth was turned upwards into a mischievous smirk the whole time. He seemed happy for some reason but knowing Discord, it could have been anything and most likely unrelated to anything at the moment.


After about five minutes of silence later, I asked, “So what did you want to talk to me about? You must have a reason for dragging me out of there.”


“Do you know how you got here?” He asked, keeping his sight on the hall that extended before us.


“The last thing I remembered before coming here was a bolt of lightning struck my computer then a portal appeared and sucked me in. I’m guessing it was just a freak accident.” I theorized, shrugging my shoulders to show that I wasn’t sure.


Discord gave a nervous laugh then responded, “No... actually it was me.”


I stopped right then and there like I had been turned to stone. I remembered the night I was taken from my world like it had just happened.


~You’re wish is granted!~


I used my magic to slam him against the floor, belly up so I could stomp on it and look him straight in the eyes. I was FURIOUS! It was his fault I was here! It was his fault I was stuck in this equine nightmare! I wanted to kill him so bad right then, but I couldn’t... my code wouldn’t allow it. I lived by rules I had set for myself and no killing of anyone was at the very top of my list. As much as I yearned to rip out his entrails and strangle him with them, I knew it wasn’t right... and he knew I couldn’t do it.


“Oh pah-lease. I know what you are like. You don’t have the guts to harm me.” Discord said as I got off him. He stood up, brushed himself off, and continued. “I have been watching your kind for some time now. As the embodiment of chaos, I can see into any number of realms that contain it, and let me just say... I’m impressed. You humans don’t even need a helping hand, you just create chaos of your own free will! Or should I say many of you do... I have noticed that there are some amongst the common rabble that do not seem to fit. You were one of them. I watched you for days. You were by far one of the most interesting humans I had come across. I mean, making a moral code and living by it with nearly no slip ups? That is something I didn’t see very often. Sure the others would make promises, saying that they were good and would live to be decent, but they always threw away their previous notions to enjoy the chaos of their brothers and sisters. Not you though... you were different, you were adamant and cared nothing of what others thought.”


“Yeah, that’s me... I don’t give a crap.” I said, having cooled down from earlier.


Discord then kept speaking as if he hadn’t even listented to what I said. “However, you were not very happy. I almost felt sorry for you. So much potential, yet you were secluded in a room nearly every day with nobody to talk to and nothing to live for. You spent all your time learning, drawing and writing... you didn’t even play games anymore! From my perspective you looked completely defeated. Then on that fateful night you said, and I quote, ah-hem... ‘I wish I could live in a place as peaceful as Equestria’.”. The draconequus mimicked my voice perfectly almost like there was a recorder in his throat.


“Cute... but I never wanted to be stuck here! That was just me thinking out loud! Fantasizing! I intended it to stay that way! AS A FANTASY!” I shouted, once again showing my outrage.


“Calm down, I can get you back... but you will have to be able to harness immense amounts of magic. For you it should take about a month to get strong enough.”


“Strong enough? Why can’t you just poof me back home like you poofed me here?!” I asked, frustrated with him and his previous actions.


“Because it takes more power to go from this dimension to your dimension. There is more pressure in your dimension and it makes taking things from there child's play. Putting them back is another matter. You have to push against the dimensional space and put a lot of force behind the object you wish to return. In fact the reason why I had to turn you into a pony was because you would have died from the difference in spatial pressure had you stayed in your other body. I even gave you a horn complete with magic just so you could perform daily tasks without slobbering on everything... you’re welcome by the way.”


At this point I didn’t know if I was angry with him or grateful. Seriously, I could have went either way, but instead I decided to ask one last question. “Okay, if you were behind all this... what took you so long to tell me?” I inquired, rubbing a hoof against my head in irritation.


Discord then smiled nervously like Applejack when she had to lie about Pinkies birthday party. “Wellll... I sort of, kinda... misplaced you.”


“What do you mean you ‘misplaced’ me?” I growled.


“Um, well you see the thing is that I made a little mistake getting you here and instead of ending up in my chambers, you went off course and landed somewhere near Ponyville. I would have tried to find you, but not knowing what you looked like after I was done changing you into a pony would have made it difficult.”


“I see. I believe we are done here. Oh and before I forget... don't think I wont put you in a hospital if you should be lying. I don’t have to kill you to punish you. Hell, I don’t even have to hurt you. I could just shut off most of your senses and have you walk around for the rest of your life being unable to hear, see, smell, and taste. You would live the rest of your life, essentially forever, in a state where the only way to know if you were still alive would be to hurt yourself.” I said while giving the mismatched creature my ‘death stare’.


“Wow... you are almost as twisted as I am.” Discord said, still smirking.


“Thanks, I know...”

* * * * * *

After we were done talking, we went our separate ways. Before heading back to his chambers, Discord told me to keep things quiet about him being the one who brought me here because Celestia would beat the insanity out of him for meddling in the affairs of other worlds. I was heading to the palace doors, or at least what was left of them, when I was stopped by Celestia. She was levitating a clipboard and quill.


“Hello. Did you have a pleasant chat with Discord?” She inquired with a raised eyebrow.


“Uh, yeah, he was... fun I suppose. What are you doing?”


“I just remembered that since you are from another world, we have no citizen documentation for you. I was bringing you this to fill out.” She said as she gave me the forms. I quickly wrote out all the information needed to the best of my knowledge, but hesitated at ‘name’.


“Is there something wrong?” the regal pony asked.


“No... I just thought that ‘Jason’ isn’t a very normal name here and I was wondering if I could write down a more suitable one.”


Celestia put a hoof to her lips and thought for a moment before replying, “I don’t see any problem with it. Did you have a name in mind or do you want a list of common names?”


“I do have one in mind...” I said, scribbling down the name then giving her the finished paperwork.


“Dusk Shimmer? Doesn’t that sound like...?” She trailed off, noticing that I already knew and had done so on purpose. “Very well, congratulations as you are now a fully fledged citizen of Equestria. Now run along, I believe Twilight is waiting for you and she has a tendency to get impatient when left with nothing to do.”


I took her advice and started trotting to my destination. When I found Twilight she was tapping a hoof rapidly in impatience.


“FINALLY! Do you know how long I have been waiting?! We have a train to catch and we are going to be late if we don’t hurry!”


“Sorry but I was held up by ‘princess paperwork’. She wanted to make me a citizen before I left. Oh and you didn’t lie to your parents anymore.” I said as we were galloping down the roads.


“What are you talking about?” She asked while remaining focused on running.


“I changed my name to ‘Dusk Shimmer’ so now that lie that you told your parents about my name being Dusk is no longer a lie, so technically you have remained honest to them.”


“Uh-huh sounds good...” She said, obviously no longer listening. I decided to wait until we reached the train before re-explaining myself.

* * * * * *

Once we boarded the train I found out that we were actually fifteen minutes early. I asked Twilight why she said we were going to be late... she told me that we were going to be late being early. I wasn’t mad at her for making us early, I actually liked being early so I didn’t have to stress. However I was mad that she made me run for no reason. Being the nice guy I am, I let it go this time, but if she ever does something like this again I am probably going to sneak some poison joke into her next salad, just to make things even. During the ride back to Ponyville we had a little talk about what Celestia had arranged. According to Twilight, I was going to be under her watch to make sure I don’t pose a threat or cause harm to ‘anypony’, including myself. I was to live with her, eat with her, and stay with her at almost all times until we reached a conclusion about who I was inside and out. Basically I was to be guarded and watched for as long as Celestia saw fit. I suppose the punishment could have been much worse, but I still didn’t like the thought of being under constant supervision from Twilight.


I had also told Twilight about everything she had a question to. I mean, I couldn’t really keep it from her now that I had told her mentor. The part where I spoke about our wars was toned down so she wouldn’t freak or possibly vomit. I chose my words carefully when speaking to her but had no idea why. When I was done telling her about how I chose my name to be ‘Dusk’, for the second time now, she was thrilled. Twilight believed that I had picked the name she decided for me because I was trying to make her happy, but the truth was I thought it fit me so I went for it. Dusk was a shadowy, dark name that had a sense of mystery to it and at the same time was breathtaking. I would have picked something else if I thought of a better name, but I didn’t so that was that. However I kept this information from the purple unicorn seated across from me because there was no sense in making her feel bad just to correct her.

* * * * * *

After leaving the train and making it back to the library, I was greeted by Vlad the moment we swung open the door. He wrapped his webbed wings around me, screeching in delight.


“Hey buddy, I’m sorry we were gone so long. We ran into a few problems in Canterlot.” I said as I pried the overjoyed bat off me.


“He was a handful, I’ll give him that. Every day you were gone, he just flew around and screeched. He didn’t break anything, but man was he annoying!” Gilda said as she walked out. I had asked her to keep an eye on things while we were gone. You know, check up on the house, make sure Vlad was okay and that Spike wasn’t going without his daily torment that I had made part of my routine. I couldn’t have him think things were going to be better with me gone or else he would scheme up ways to get rid of me.


“So did you..,?” I asked nudging Gilda with my elbow.


She scratched the back of her head with her talon before responding, “Yeah... but are you sure he wasn’t supposed to like it? He hasn’t complained once.”


Twilight looked at me suspiciously. “What was who not supposed to like?”


Just then Spike came running out with an apron, holding a remarkably tiny feather. “Twilight! You’re home! I cleaned the toilet with my tongue just like you wanted, I ate all the moldy food in the fridge, and I also dusted the entire library with nothing but this single feather!”


“Holy crap... he actually fell for it.” I said with my mouth hanging open.


“Jason...” Twilight snarled.


“Ah, ah, ah... it's Dusk now, remember?” I remarked with a smart aleck grin.


*SMACK!*