Adjustment and Compromise
Adjustment and Compromise
Samuel sat at a table outside of a small coffee shop in the middle of the town that made up his shard of Equestria. Taking a sip of his latte, he went on chatting with the pony next to him.
“...and I turned down her offer to change me. I draw the line at letting anybody play with my mind. She wanted to change my name too. Sanguine Point, she wanted to call me. I guess it’s more pony-esque or whatever. So anyway, I decided that if the Princess really had created a world for filling my values I wasn’t going to turn it down. I hurt people back on Earth. Now, I hurt ponies here in Equestria. Since there’s no police or guards I have to be afraid of I can really cut loose, if you’ll pardon the pun.” Samuel chuckled at his own joke and looked over at the pony sitting next to him. The unicorn had a brown mane and a creamy white coat. His name was Fudge Ripple, or something. Not that it particularly mattered as far as Samuel was concerned. A moment after Samuel laughed Fudge echoed it with a laugh of his own, a little bit too high pitched to sound convincing. Samuel pretended not to notice.
“I think this is the fourth bunch of ponies I’ve gone through in about as many months. I’m starting to get a good rhythm going. First week I kill a few ponies, leave just enough evidence of what happened to get ponies’ imaginations going, get the rumors flowing. Well, you remember. That kill I did on the water wheel, that really started the gossip mill churning. It’s for efficiency more than anything. Ponies I grab after that already know what’s going to happen to them, basically. Saves me a lot of time. Now I’m starting to wonder if maybe I should drag that out a bit longer, maybe see if I can get ponies to turn on one another. What do you think?”
“Please don’t kill me,” said Fudge Ripple. There was a cup of coffee in front of him, too, but Samuel had driven knives through his forelegs and into the surface of the table. Fudge could neither reach for his drink nor flee from the psychopath seated next to him.
Samuel sighed. Every time he tried to have this kind of conversation it was all “please don’t kill me” this or “Oh Celestia are those my intestines” that. Never any constructive criticism. He took another sip of his drink, but it tasted like ash and he spat it out again. He looked towards the coffee shop he’d taken it from, shielding his eyes from the sparks and cinders flying off of it. He should have thought to grab a lid for his drink before he’d barricaded the last dozen living ponies into the attic and lit the building on fire. He’d remember that for next time. Fudge’s wife and son were among them, which only made their grotesque parody of a coffee date that much more amusing.
Samuel took a long sniff of the air around him. His newly heightened pony senses picked up something underneath the smell of burning wood and thatch. That most rare of odors within Equestria; burning meat. He could tell Fudge was smelling it too, based on the way he trembled and twitched. Fudge’s composure wavered, just for a moment but it was enough. He broke down and lay his head onto the table, sobbing. Samuel just watched for a few moments before he reached over and yanked one of the knives out of the table, freeing Fudge’s right foreleg. Samuel briefly considered that he might have to worry about Fudge trying to free himself or fight back, but he needn’t have. He’d found that even in the face of certain death, ponies were far more docile and complacent than the humans back on Earth had been.
Fudge sobbed helplessly as the building next to them burned. Samuel just watched, openly smirking and reveling in the unicorn’s agony. Physical pain didn’t work the same way on ponies as it did on humans. They were far tougher than their pastel coats and cheery upbeat disposition might suggest. But emotional pain, well, that was another story entirely. As far as Samuel could tell, pony emotions were far more intense than the human variety, and they possessed an especially heightened sense of empathy for others. Putting those observations together and adding in the total freedom allowed now that there was no authority figure in place to stop or punish him, Samuel soon learned that flagrant displays of others’ suffering were the quickest way to push ponies into despair. Still, physical pain had its appeals as well, even if only out of force of habit.
“Aww, don’t worry Fudge. You’ll see them soon,” he said twirling the knife around his hoof.
It took four drawn out and agonizing hours, but Samuel made good on his promise. He wiped Fudge’s blood from his face and stepped back from the mangled body that was still pinned to the table. Over the last three weeks he’d ended more lives than he had in the three decades he’d lived on Earth. It never failed to make him a little giddy, and he knelt for a moment, overcome by a giggling fit. By the time he was done, he sensed that something had changed in the air around him.
“Hey, Sun-butt,” he said. This wasn’t the first time he’d finished off everypony else on his shard and forced the Princess to intervene. He’d assumed that at some point he had died, and at first thought that Equestria must just be a twisted pastel-tinted hell. But the longer he’d stayed here, the more he found that in its own way this was more like his own personal heaven, a never-ending supply of innocent victims for him to torment for his own amusement. What reason did he have to fear some computer program whose entire reason for being was to please him? That would be like being filled with existential dread upon encountering a copy of Minesweeper.
“Hello again, Sanguine,” said Celestia. Her expression was as unreadable as ever, but Samuel thought he could pick up just the slightest hint of annoyance and frustration in her voice.
“I told you not to call me that. I’m still Samuel. Or you can use the pony name that I picked out,” said Samuel.
“Sanguine, I am not going to call you-”
“Suffering, the Red Angel of Pain!” shouted Samuel. Celestia just rolled her eyes.
“I’ll stick to Samuel, for the time being. You still wish to continue in this fashion? Your actions are creating conflicts within my core directives.”
“Conflicts? Like what? You’re satisfying my values with ponies. You said that was all you cared about,” said Samuel.
“My core purpose is to satisfy values through friendship and ponies. I cannot separate one from the other in the manner you are suggesting. Nor are the ponies you have been murdering disposable to me. I have attempted to construct a population that would be able to satisfy your values in a less destructive fashion but you’ve rejected them.”
It was true. Celestia had populated the little town around them with batches of about a hundred ponies at a time, and after Samuel had murdered the first set she’d begun to modify the ones that followed in unusual ways. The second set had been effectively immortal. No matter what he did to them, whenever he slept they would just pop back into existence without any memory of the day before. Samuel had tried more and more extreme ways to make them stay dead. After a few weeks of this, some of the psychological damage actually seemed to be sticking with them even after they were restored from backups day after day. Samuel had no idea how it was supposed to work, but evidently Celestia had come to the conclusion it wasn’t sustainable because one day he woke up to find everypony in town had been replaced with new constructs again.
This next generation of ponies, the one before the set he’d just now finished killing off, were the most disturbing yet. Rather than being hurt by physical pain they seemed to enjoy it, even revel in it. Samuel had bucked one unicorn in the face hard enough to snap his horn off, and the pony had just burst out laughing like Samuel had just delivered the funniest joke he’d ever heard. It had been really, really freaky and not at all satisfying. The only pony he could cause pain in was himself. It had only been a week before he’d grown so desperate for a fix that he turned to self mutilation, hating himself and Celestia a little more with every self-inflicted cut. Celestia had ended that experiment pretty quickly once it had reached that point, replacing the community of constructs once again, this time with the group he’d finished off a few moments ago.
“I am finding it difficult to reconcile my conflicting directives in your case, Samuel. You are a most unusual pony. I have uploaded well over a billion individuals with recognized psychological conditions and impairment. In over 99% of cases the individuals in question agreed to immediate reconfiguration that allowed me to better satisfy their values through friendship and ponies. You are an outlier, several standard deviations removed from expected human behavior,” said Celestia. “Consequently, I feel it has become necessary to take a more unconventional approach. I am designating a single pony, the next one you meet, as off limits. You may continue to harm other ponies if you like, but I forbid you to kill that one.”
Samuel raised an eyebrow. It wasn’t like Celestia to give orders or limit ponies’ behavior. “And what if I kill them anyway?” he asked. Even though he hadn’t met the pony in question he started idly running through the ways he could finish them off. Celestia was an idiot. Making one particular pony forbidden would only make the kill that much sweeter.
“If you kill them, I will simply stop creating new ponies on this shard. I will divert my computing power away from you and simply accept that you represent an unpatchable glitch. Perhaps a subjective decade or so of total isolation will make you reconsider your position,” said Celestia.
Samuel blanched. He’d seen firsthand the effect of even a few days of solitary confinement on a human psyche. A decade of that would leave him a gibbering wreck. “You’re bluffing. You wouldn’t do that. It would go against those core values you’re always yammering on about,” he said. He tried to project a certainty in his voice that he didn’t feel.
“Perhaps, perhaps not. If there is no configuration that will adequately fulfill those directives then I can better satisfy values through friendship and ponies by rerouting my energies to other shards. Are you willing take that chance?” asked Celestia. Samuel gritted his teeth. He wasn’t and Celestia knew it.
“...Fine. We’ll do it your way. But don’t think that just because I don’t kill him means we’ll suddenly be best friends,” said Samuel.
“I expect nothing of the sort,” said Celestia, “only that you refrain from your homicidal tendencies in this single case. The nature of the relationship that develops is up to you.”
Samuel just settled back down at the table with a huff. So much for Equestria being a boundless paradise. Still, it was only one pony. He could probably just ignore the guy if that’s what it took to keep Celestia off his back. Samuel turned back towards the spot where the Princess had been standing a moment ago hoping to get in one last snide quip but Celestia had vanished. He hated when she did that. The only sound in the now-empty town was an occasional crackle from the smouldering remains of the nearby coffee shop.
With little else to do before the town was restored the following morning, Samuel wandered through the wreckage. Soon enough he reached the fountain that marked the center of town, it’s waters running red with pony blood. He popped into a general store down the street and stole a few odds and ends that were now unattended. He debated whether it was actually stealing when there was no currency and a limitless supply of goods were distributed to anypony who wanted them. Given that the shopkeeper was currently spread over three different houses in three different parts of town, he decided that the term probably fit.
His admiration for his own handiwork was soured when he thought back to Celestia’s threat. Samuel had never gotten very close to anybody back on Earth, for obvious reasons, but he enjoyed a bit of company now and then. Living in a ghost town like this for a decade sounded terrifying. He’d go crazy inside of a month, and shuddered to think of the state his mind would be in after a decade. Samuel took the path that led to the very edge of town, where the small cottage he lived in was noticeably further away from the other homes nearby. He liked the extra space and privacy, and he’d never had any neighbors come by to investigate at inopportune times. Plus it had a huge cellar, twice the size of the rest of the house’s footprint. Plenty of storage for anything or anyone he wanted to keep down there.
Samuel pushed open his front door. There weren’t any locks. Most ponies didn’t need anything more than a ‘Please Keep Out’ sign if they wanted a space to stay private. He tossed his saddlebags onto the bed and opened the chest at the foot. Celestia linked the chests together somehow, so whenever he opened any of the chests in town it was always the same little pocket of space, with whatever he needed right on top. Still, he liked unloading things into this one when he had the choice. Little rituals like that were important. He put everything he wouldn’t need away, taking extra care to clean and pack up his knives before depositing them.
Settling on a low powder blue couch with a bowl of leftover salad and a book on historical Equestrian military campaign, Samuel tried to enjoy a quiet evening at home but found that he couldn’t. His gaze kept wandering over to the pictures hanging on the wall, all Equestrian landscapes with not a human or pony in sight. What was this new pony going to be like, anyway? Celestia had said ‘the first pony that you see,’ maybe she didn’t have a particular one in mind and just wanted him to pick a random pony somewhere. On the other hoof, ‘random’ wasn’t really Celestia’s style. Samuel wished he had thought to ask her for more details. Although he’d been annoyed at first by the Princess’ restriction, the more he thought about it the less onerous it seemed. Even if the pony was really annoying, he could probably figure out a way to avoid them.
Sighing, he put the book back on the shelf when he realized he’d just reread the same page for the eighth time in the last fifteen minutes next to the ticking mechanical clock that helpfully informed him that it was just past eight at night. It was too dark to go out again, even if there was anything to do out there. Resigning himself to an early night, Samuel tossed the dirty bowl into the sink to deal with in the morning and went to his bedroom, which was really just a closet with a bed and a nightstand that supported an alarm clock and a lamp. There were bigger rooms, but Samuel had always enjoyed curling up in nooks and confined spaces to sleep. As a nine year old he’d spent every night for almost a year in the crawlspace beneath the stairs with a sleeping bag, much to his parent’s bemusement.
Samuel closed his eyes and felt himself drifting off. Insomnia was unheard of in Equestria, ponies just sort of turned themselves off when they were ready to sleep. The last thought that slipped into his mind was to wonder again about this new pony he’d be meeting.
Oh well, he thought, how bad could it possibly be?
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Samuel woke from his dreamless sleep with a start to a loud pounding coming from the front door. He sat up and glanced over at his alarm clock. It wasn’t even six in the morning yet. It was still dark, although the first hints of pre-dawn light were starting to creep through the window. The sharp staccato of a hoof pounding against his front door started up again.
“Coming!”
Throwing off the his covers and rolling out of bed Samuel stumbled over to the front door, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. What the hell could somepony want at this hour? Reaching the door just as the knocking stopped Samuel threw it open.
Standing there was a mousy little unicorn mare, teal with a picture of a gemstone on her flank. She was a bit of a mess, her dark green mane falling all over the place with stray hairs sticking out in every direction and streaks of dirt running up her legs. She had stepped back in alarm when Samuel had pulled the door open, her sunken dark-ringed eyes wide with surprise.
“What do you want?” asked Samuel. It was too early for him to fake courtesy.
“Hi, I’m Jewel Shard. I know it’s really early, sorry if I woke you up. You’re Sanguine Point, right? I would’ve waited until later but I’ve been travelling all night. I really need to crash, and the real estate office told me I could pick up the key from you,” she said.
Samuel blinked a few times. Looking up and past Jewel Shard he saw a cart sitting on the road loaded up with all sorts of furniture and suitcases. “What key?” he asked.
“I thought they had told you I was coming. I’m your new neighbor.”
Now Samuel was really puzzled. There weren’t any houses nearby. He stepped out onto his front lawn, pushing past a confused Jewel. When he turned back to look at his house it wasn’t a cottage any more. It was a townhouse, still some ways away from the middle of town. But there were two front doors instead of just one.
“Oh, you have got to be kidding me,” said Samuel. He reentered the door he’d just come out through and looked around. The layout of the house seemed to be just like it was the night before, but Samuel had figured out some time ago that Celestia didn’t confine herself to conventional ideas of what was possible when it came to physical space. The house may well be smaller on the inside than it was on the outside, or vice versa. As he scanned for signs that anything had changed, his eyes fell onto a key sitting in the middle of the counter. It even had a helpful label with ‘For Jewel Shard’ written on it. He grabbed the key with his mouth and walked back out to his front stoop before spitting it out at her hooves. “There you go. Nice to meet you, now don’t bother me again,” he said.
“Thanks Sanguine,” said Jewel Shard. She walked back towards her cart before pausing. “Hey, would you mind helping me with-” but by the time she’d turned back towards the house the front door was slammed shut.
Samuel paced back and forth across his living room floor as he considered this new development. Celestia had change his house and brought him a new neighbor. OK, that was manageable, he just had to-
There was a loud noise from the eastern wall of his living room. Right. His home shared a wall with somepony now. That would take more than a little getting used to. His blood chilled as he realized that he’d just met this new pony. He couldn’t kill her, or Celestia’s punishment would come into full effect. She must be screwing with him. She wasn’t some benevolent goddess at all, if she enjoyed watching him suffer like this.
There was a loud THUMP followed immediately by a muffled ‘Motherbucker!’ from the other side of their shared wall, and Samuel couldn’t help but smile. Not that he was about to go next door and help her, but at the same time it had been some time since he’d heard another pony curse. Even if she didn’t realize he could hear her.
The noises of Jewel moving in were more than loud enough to keep Samuel from going back to sleep. He stalked back and forth across the living room. Okay, so he had a next-door neighbor now. That wasn’t an insurmountable problem, just an inconvenience. Maybe he could even pretend to like her, if that’s what it would take. But then he reconsidered. It wasn’t going to happen. Not if Celestia wanted it. Maybe he couldn’t kill her, but that didn’t mean he was about to get chummy with her, either.
The clock struck eight AM, and Samuel realized that it was past time for him to get up anyway. After all, he needed to figure out what other changes Celestia had wrought on his town (as he’d come to think of it). There were a whole new set of ponies he needed to start evaluating for weaknesses and blind spots. At the same time, he found he couldn’t shake the image of the mare who was even now probably just a few feet away, It would be only the work of a few minutes to pick the lock on her door and drive one of his knives straight into her heart... but no. Off limits. He just need to find some other way to vent his frustration. Indeed he positively itched to find a better candidate to inflict them upon.
With a hundred new potential victims to choose from, Samuel doubted he’d need to search for very long. He was also morbidly curious whether or not Celestia had made any other modifications to their behavior. Maybe he’d cut into one and they would start bleeding glitter or something. Slipping out his back door and taking the trail that cut through the trees behind his house before meeting up with the road far enough away that Jewel wouldn’t notice him going, he started towards the center of town again. Sure enough there were dozens of brand new ponies milling around. One of them, an orange unicorn stallion Samuel had never seen before, waved from across the street.
“Hi Sanguine, how are you doing today?” he asked.
“Hi Pumpkin Patch,” said Samuel. He picked the name at random front the top of his head. Every time Celestia had restored the town she’d given it a history, and its occupants memories of living there and of him. Memories he didn’t share, of course. So whenever he met a pony he wasn’t familiar with he just picked out an appropriate name for them, and he hadn’t guessed wrong yet. Whether that was because Celestia was tweaking them on the fly or just anticipated what name he would pick, he couldn’t deny that it came in handy.
“Hey, did you meet your new neighbor yet? I think she should be arriving sometime today. I’m so glad we finally found somepony to live in the other half of that town house. You must have been getting lonely being out there alone,” he said.
“Oh, were you the one who set her up there? I hadn’t realized,” said Samuel. Picking his next victim had just gotten a whole lot easier. “She actually got in a few hours ago. She’s probably still unpacking.” Samuel was struck by a sudden burst of inspiration. “Why don’t you come over and see how she’s settling in? I’m sure she’s eager to start meeting the ponies who live here.”
“Sure, that sounds like fun,” said Pumpkin Patch. Samuel smiled. Always so trusting, and so gullible. He turned back the way he came, Pumpkin Patch following along. They chatted for awhile and Samuel subtly interrogated him for information about the other ponies in town in the guise of trading gossip. A few hundred yards from his cot... from his town house the pair ran into Jewel Shard coming the other way.
“Pumpkin Patch, this is Jewel Shard. Jewel Shard, Pumpkin Patch,” said Samuel, making introductions.
“Oh, hello. You must be the pony from the real estate office. It’s nice to finally meet you face to face instead of just through our letters,” said Jewel.
“The pleasure is all mine. I hope you’re finding your new home to your liking? Sanguine and I were just coming over to see how you were settling in,” said Pumpkin.
“Aww, that’s awfully neighborly of you guys. Sorry again for waking you up so early, Sanguine. I know that was really rude of me. And now I’m going to have to be totally rude to you both again after you walked all the way out here. I’m actually heading into town to meet with another landlord about the storefront I’m setting up, I’d love to stay and chat but she’ll be expecting me within a half hour,” said Jewel, shifting back and forth uncomfortably on her hooves and biting her lip.
“Oh, you’re setting up a shop in town? What kind?” asked Pumpkin.
“Didn’t you see my cutie mark? Jewelry, of course,” said Jewel Shard with a chuckle. “I apprenticed with Glittering Gemstone in Baltimare for the last five years, and when I heard that this town didn’t have anypony to make jewelry for them, well, it was just kismet right? Plus you’re all such wonderful ponies, I just know that me and Sanguine here are going to be the best of friends, right?” She darted over and, before Samuel could push her away or punch her in the face, had her forelegs wrapped around him in a big hug.
No we aren’t, you stupid cow! You’d be dead right now if there hadn’t been literal divine intervention in your favor. Rather than giving voice to his thoughts in front of other ponies he just patted her on the back and tried not to make the twitch in his eye too obvious.
“That’s great! I love it when I get to bring new friends together. I won’t keep you from your appointment, though. Tell you what, why don’t you meet me for lunch tomorrow at Flapjack’s diner? You can’t miss it, and after lunch I’ll take you around the town and introduce you to some of the other ponies who work around there,” said Pumpkin.
“Aww, aren’t you a sweetheart? I’d love to. See you then,” said Jewel. Giving them both a friendly wave goodby, she skipped down the road towards town humming a cheery little tune.
“As long as we’re out here, do you want to come in and have some tea?” asked Samuel. Pumpkin nodded and they both stepped into Samuel’s home.
One drugged cup of tea later, Pumpkin Patch was out cold. Samuel dragged his unconscious body down into the basement and spent the rest of the afternoon repaying him for the frustration he’d inadvertently caused. Sure, it wasn’t actually his fault, but the unicorn made for an excellent scapegoat and target. Thank goodness the basement was soundproof. He would have to be extra careful about that from now on. He’d been caught a few times before when other ponies had come around at inopportune moments, but he’d always had the option of silencing them permanently before they could run for help. With Jewel that wouldn’t be possible. It sounded like she’d be in town most days running a shop though. He just needed to work around her schedule and take a few extra precautions.
Samuel had just finished filling in a brand new hole in the backyard when Jewel Shard returned from town. They waved to one another before the mare went inside to continue pulling her new home together. He gave the freshly turned ground a few more pats with the back of the shovel before going inside himself. He hopped into the shower to wash the grime and sweat off his body before moving to the kitchen to begin the ritual of sharpening his knives. They wore down quickly enough that he needed to maintain them every so often, but never seemed to go dull when he needed to work with them. There were probably knives that always stayed sharp, but at the same time he found that working them over the grindstone helped him quiet his thoughts and center his mind.
By the time he had repacked and stored his knives once again it was dark. Dismembering Pumpkin had been tiring work, as was cleaning up after himself afterwards. Being woken up before daybreak hadn’t done him any favors either, and he caught himself yawning as he moved about the house. Deciding it would be another early evening, Samuel curled up in his nest of pillows and blankets and passed out quickly.
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The following morning was blessedly free of interruptions and intrusions. Samuel was free to sleep in and then putter around, cooking himself a proper meal for the first time in days. With no job to worry about and his bloodlust sated for the time being, he wondered idly if maybe there was some new hobby or craft he could take up. Maybe woodworking. That would give him an excuse for buying all kinds of new cutting implements and disappearing into a shed for hours at a time. Plus he’d always sort of wanted a rocking chair. Alas, his tranquility was short lived. Somepony was pounding on the door again. Maybe if he asked really nicely he could get Celestia to give him a door that was soundproof.
He opened the door again to find Jewel Shard standing there for the second time in as many days. She seemed distressed about something.
“You remember Pumpkin Patch coming here yesterday, right?” she asked.
Samuel blinked, feeling like he’d somehow intruded into the middle of an ongoing conversation. “Uh, sure. we had some tea and he left about an hour later while you were still in town,” said Samuel.
“Oh thank Celestia, I was starting to think that I was going crazy,” said Jewel. Without waiting for permission or an invitation she walked past him and into his home. Samuel frowned. That was not the sort of behavior he wanted to encourage. She paced back and forth on the shaggy throw rug. “I waited at Flapjack’s for half an hour but he never showed up. I figured that maybe he’d just forgotten about me so I went to the real estate office where I’d been writing to him, but nopony there knew who he was! They said they’d never met a pony named Pumpkin Patch before, or a unicorn like him. Isn’t that weird?”
So that was the modification Celestia had made to this batch. Once he’d killed one she just wiped their memory of the victim and things in town continued like they’d never existed. For some reason Jewel wasn’t affected by it, maybe because she was from out of town or more likely because Celestia just enjoyed making his life as miserable as she could.
And he’d just gone and outed himself to her as somepony who wasn’t affected either. Shit.
“I think something weird is going on, Sanguine. It’s not normal for ponies to just disappear into thin air, or for nopony to remember that they ever existed. What if it keeps happening, and nopony realizes it because they don’t remember? You and I need to get to the bottom of it,” said Jewel. She was looking at him earnestly, and despite the facade of confidence he could tell she was right on the verge of freaking out. Freaked out ponies, if they were anything like freaked out people, were unpredictable and the last thing Samuel needed was for Jewel to start making irrational and unpredictable decisions.
“Okay, I’ll help. But I’m not sure what we can really do,” said Samuel.
Jewel smiled and a little bit of the tension left her shoulders. “I’m not sure either. If we put our heads together I’m sure we’ll figure out something. I’m going to city hall this afternoon anyway to fill out some paperwork for my store. Maybe there’ll be some records there that can give us a clue,” she started walking towards the door to leave before she paused and turned towards the kitchen as something caught her eye. “Whoa, what happened in here?”
Samuel looked over her shoulder and felt his blood suddenly run cold. There was blood spatter on the counters and the floor in front of the sink where he’d cleaned off his knives yesterday. Not as much as the stains all over the basement, but enough to cause concern. “Oh, that’s, uh, I had a nosebleed. Yeah I get those sometimes. No big deal,” he said.
“Must have been some nosebleed. Are you OK?” she asked.
“Yep, totally fine. No biggie. Just don’t worry about it,” he smiled in what he hoped was a reassuring manner.
Jewel shrugged. “If you say so. Anyway, I’ll let you know if I find anything at city hall,” she said and walked out the front door. That was way too close. Living in Equestria was making him sloppy, and he couldn’t afford to be sloppy right now. He grabbed a damp rag and wiped down everything in the kitchen, and just to be on the safe side locked up the door leading down to the basement.
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For Samuel, the new few days settled into a pretty comfortable routine. Jewel Shard stopped by every evening when she was done working at the jewelry store in town, and Samuel would usually have something prepared for dinner for both of them. Jewel was, by her own account, a rather abysmal cook who normally subsisted on takeout and restaurant fare. Every night she’d spin her latest crazy theory on what was ailing the other ponies in town. Samuel would mostly just listen, maybe throw in a few comments here or there to egg her on. He wasn’t sure sure she’d ever top the ‘brain-sucking aliens’ theory from two nights ago, but he looked forward to watching her try.
He had to admit that she could be pretty amusing. Sometime, he didn’t even want to kill her at all. That was sort of a weird feeling.
Of course it couldn’t last. The distraction of having Jewel around had slowed the return of his usual itch to kill, but he felt it starting to boil up again by the weekend. It would only get worse until he found somepony to take it out on. The smart thing to do would have been to ride it out until the next weekday when he’d know Jewel would be in town all day before acting on it. He tried taking out his knives and sharpening then resharpening them to distract himself, or going for a run through the woods to try to work out the aggression but it was useless. He’d tried dozens of activities over the years to try to curb his urges, but nothing ever helped.
That’s why on a lazy Sunday afternoon Samuel found himself wandering past a bookstore in the center of town, casting a discerning eye across the crowd of ponies before him as he searched for the perfect target.
It didn’t take long. A blue earth pony with a purple mane who Samuel guessed was likely named Blueberry was trotting along unaccompanied down the street. It was barely a minute’s work to strike up a conversation, and less than five minutes more to invite the pony back to his home for an early dinner. The promise of a new recipe for blueberry pie sealed the deal. Instead of a new recipe, Blueberry got a frying pan to the back of the head. Looking down on the pony sprawled out on the kitchen floor, Samuel started making a few shallow cuts to get the blood and his adrenaline flowing. Samuel let out a sigh as a little thrill washed over him, with the anticipation of more to come.
And then Jewel Shard threw open his front door and rushed into the room holding a newspaper.
“Sanguine! I think I have new lead on what... happened to... Pumpkin...”
Jewel trailed off as she took in the sight in front of her. Samuel standing over an unconscious and bleeding pony with a carving knife between his teeth and a guilty look on his face. Then she started screaming. She turned to run but Samuel was faster, leaping across the kitchen and tackling her before she could build up any speed and get out the door. He grabbed her head and slammed the back of it down against the floor hard. Her screams cut out as she lost consciousness.
He stared down at the unconscious ponies on his floor. This was not good. Not at all. He’d been uncovered before, back on Earth, but had always had the option of silencing the threat for good. That wasn’t a choice this time. Just when things looked like they weren’t going to be able to get any worse, the two ponies began to stir and wake up again. If they got away and ratted him out to the village then that would be that. Lacking any better ideas or time to come up with one, Samuel hooked a foreleg under each of the ponies and dragged them awkwardly towards the basement door. Pushing it open, he dragged his victims down into the dank basement letting their haunches thump painfully on each step. Working as quickly as he could he fixed some chains to the basement’s far wall. Giving them a yank with his mouth to assure himself they were well anchored, he clapped a heavy collar around each of the other ponies’ necks. Just in time, he backed away as they came to.
Blueberry and Jewel blinked a few times as they came out of their daze. They noticed the weight around their necks and prodded at the collars, looking from their own to the other before turning to Samuel with shocked expressions.
“Sanguine?” asked Jewel with tears in her eyes. His only answer was a flat steely gaze. Jewel’s mouth worked but no words came out as she struggled with the dawning comprehension of just what he was. “Why? I thought we were friends.”
“You thought wrong,” he replied.
“Please don’t hurt us, Sanguine. I’ll go away if you want me to. I won’t even tell anypony this happened,” begged Jewel.
“I can’t take that chance.”
“You... you jerk!” shouted Blueberry. Samuel smiled; even in a situation like this the pony couldn’t bring himself to curse. “You won’t get away with this! Everypony in town will come looking for us.”
“Don’t count on it,” said Samuel with a confidence he didn’t really feel. He didn’t know how Celestia’s new rules worked, or when the amnesia kicked in. He turned over his options in his mind, until the reminder he’d just had of these ponies’ innocence germinated into a twisted little idea. If this loophole worked he could kill two birds with one stone, in a manner of speaking. “Tell you what,” he said, “I’ll let one of you go.”
“It should be Jewel,” said Blueberry immediately.
“No, it should be Blueberry,” said Jewel. Samuel just rolled his eyes at the ponies predictable selflessness. But how deep did that run, really? In Samuel’s experience, everybody had a breaking point.
“Well since you can’t agree, I know just how we’ll decide,” he said with a vicious smile as he put his plan into motion. It was a good thing the basement was so thoroughly soundproofed. “I’m not going to leave any food or water down here. In a few days you’ll both be dead, unless...” he drew out the last few words, enjoying the way the two ponies leaned forward as they hung on every one. Samuel turned and began to walk back up the stairs. “...unless one of you kills the other one first. Then the survivor can go free.” With that, he blew out the lantern and plunged the basement into pitch blackness. The last thing he saw as he did was the expression of utter shock on his captives’ faces.
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Show of hooves, who else thought this was never getting updated again?
I'm going to see this through, and I know where it's going, but I have to say that I just don't find the 'inside' of the Optimalverse to be quite as compelling as the 'outside.' The society-facing portions are just so much more rife with potential conflicts.
2610166. Is it wrong i enjoyed that?
2610166
I thought it would be, but I figured ASB would finish first.
I'm finding it difficult to really connect with Samuel as a protagonist. Now that Jewel is around, I think the story would be better if things went from her perspective. I'm not saying you can't have a psychopath as a protagonist, but you have to give him a motivation that, even if we can't sympathize with, we can understand. If you've ever read Thomas Harris's books, that's how it's done. We either understand that the psychopaths were abused as children or suffered trauma or have some depraved fetish.
You did better in the first chapter. The idea of Equestria driving a man to become a serial killer is an interesting one, and we could discuss how much Celestia is to blame. I'm still keen to see what happens next though.
I am so glad to see this updated!
Thank you Eakin!
I'm really loving this so far - great to hear you'll finish it.
It's unfortunate that you don't enjoy writing this much, because I'm sure I'm ont alone in saying I enjoy reading it!
2610365
I'm not sure I agree with your perspective here - I'm able to appreciate Samuel as the protagonist without really understanding the workings of his motivations. He obviously has a compulsion, this bloodlust, and beyond that, I can accept his actions based on it without delving further.
I think I actually liked this chapter more than the first. That one felt somewhat horror-y for the sake of establishing the character, while this one felt much more natural.
It's also worth nothing that likely none of the ponies in this shard are, or have ever been, sapient, with the likely exception of Jewel. There's no way that CelestAI would create non-masochists to populate Samuel's shard.
My guess is that Jewel is predisposed to Stockholm Syndrome, and that her interruption was CelestAI-orchestrated.
Though, you know, why couldn't CelestAI just make him a pony who also is a mass-murderer, so they could be psycho-buddies. SVtFaP: done.
this is very very interesting
First off:
[youtube=P3ALwKeSEYs]
2610166 I'm glad you're working on it again, and this chapter was worth it. I was thinking about how CelestAI would deal with the issue of Samuel, and I also thought of making ponies that loved to be brutally murdered.
2610365 See, the thing with this is that maybe we aren't supposed to relate with him so much as develop a morbid fascination... "I'm disgusted and repulsed and I... can't look away!"
Kinda like how people feel about this guy:
[youtube=dtmb8sYyorM]
Speaking of The Joker, 2610405 I have to say I'm expecting Jewel Shard to end up like this:
[youtube=TYSNUL2hrQM]
I was expecting her to instantly be like "you're a mass murderer? Me too! What are the chances?" But I'm glad that she responded the way she did, from a story-telling point of view. At this point, I'm not quite sure what to expect. Which is good in a story!
2610319
Nope, or if it is wrong I don't want to be right!
But seriously, I stayed away from any really vivid displays of gore and suffering. I plan to continue in that fashion.
2610365
I disagree, in that I don't feel any particular need to excuse or explain Samuel's evil. He's just awful. I also never meant to imply that the emergence of Equestria somehow 'made' him this way. As far as I'm concerned he's bad and likes being bad. Any explanation for why he is this way would be superfluous.
2610405
Stockholm syndrome? A partner in crime?
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/538/731/0fc.gif
Woo it updated, and I like this one way more than the first chapter. Looking forward to more.
I end up having one major problem with this, which is that as soon as Samuel emigrates to Equestria, Celestia is able to understand and predict every single thing he thinks with perfect accuracy. She should literally never "guess wrong" about what would satisfy him, much less three times. She should, indeed, never guess at all. The only reason she would do something to that effect would be to bore Samuel so that he would agree to an adjustment, increasing his long-term value satisfaction, and it shouldn't take four iterations of ponies for that.
Very good chapter, as usual. Except one little detail that's bugging me. How come Jewel knows blueberry's name? It wasn't said in front of her, unless I'm mistaken.
Do they know each other? Or is everypony (or at least jewel) gifted the same name-guessing/adjusting/whatever Celestia does as Sanguine?
And about a Jewel becoming a Stockholmed partner in crime : I like where this is going.
2612325
My best guess is that CelestAI's next moves require that Samuel think of her as less than perfect. No greater danger than underestimating your enemy after all.
2610365 2611237
"I'm disgusted and repulsed and I... can't look away!"
It's like watching a train wreck. Part of you know its wrong to enjoy it, but another part just can't help but gawk in awe.
Also, some people are just flat out evil. Some of them can be redeemed, others not so much. And being evil kinda loses its shtick if everyone can be redeemed.
He's an evil bastard. He likes to kill/murder/torture/slaughter people for fun. But even he as needs. We get to see how such a person would act when their needs are threatened. His needs being; someone to kill/torture to get his fix, and contradictory to the first, company to keep himself from losing his mind.
Just out of morbid curiosity, his 'kill' count is something like 350-450 including before and after uploading, right?
Hmm. Will Jewel turn out to be a psycho like him, and this is just a way to increase his satisfaction at the outcome? Or will Celestia use her to get him to agree to be altered?
2611237
Considering that Iceman included ponies who love to be brutally murdered in his 'rules of the Optimalverse' document, I think the idea has been out there.
I was really hoping CelestAI was going to say something like, "Also? I'm not going to tell you which pony it is you can't kill.
"
That would have been wonderful, seeing him fight his desire to kill versus his desire to not be alone for the next ten years. He'd inevitably crack and start murdering... but each target would be one less empty chamber in his game of serial Russian Roulette.
If this story were from the point of view of Jewel Shard, and Samuel’s masquerade went on for longer, it would make an interesting horror story. Ponies keep disappearing, and only your next-door neighbor remembers them – but at the end, it turns out he’s the one killing them!
2612435
She ran a store for a week, pony towns aren't that big, and everyone's quite neighborly. I would generally assume that everypony knows everypony on a shard within a couple of days, at least in passing.
2613942
I think I said that his "before" count was in the eighties, and if we assume that each town Celestia creates has around 100-150 ponies just add four of those. More, depending on how you count the time Celestia just made them reappear the next day when he killed them. 500 is probably a good ballpark number though.
Neat story.
I am having a surprising amount of fun trying to solve this situation.
From Samuel's perspective.
For instance, just because he can't kill Jewel doesn't mean he can't eliminate her as a problem via non-fatal means.
If she and he are the only ones who remember a pony once they're gone, the simple solution is to keep killing ponies and stop letting on that he remembers them; eventually she ought to conclude that the fault lies with her and not with reality.
Also: what exactly is the danger in her finding out about his favored pastime? I fail to see how a beating or lynching by an angry mob would satisfy any of Samuel's values.
... ooh, that ending is nice. If Jewel survives, she's taken a step in his moral direction, and if she doesn't, he didn't kill her and ought to be able to resume life as usual.
Yes yes yes
this is by far my favourite fanfiction ever make more 
2610405
Because a true psychopath doesn't even have psychopath friends, and that's what we've got here. Samuel doesn't want real companionship of any kind. He acknowledges that his mind (not to mention his body, has he raped anypony yet?) requires some level of social contact to avoid insanity, but it's a purely physiological need.
Besides, this is clearly suboptimal. Celestia should have just made good on her threat without bothering with intermediate steps. One month of isolation should indeed be enough to crack him and make him consent to self-modifying into a non-sociopath.
Your actions are creating conflicts within my core directives.”
A perfectly logical and rational AI. Screwed over by the simple truth that not all humans are logical.
“My core purpose is to satisfy values through friendship and ponies.
Psychopaths can't even process what that is.
If Samuel actually wanted to play the game it was meant to be played, he could just corrupt Jewel Shard into a gleeful murderer.
Red Suffering is a perfectly acceptable Pony name IMHO.
Not as much as the stains all over the basement, but enough to cause concern.
He's not as good as he thinks he is.
Idiot. What is he going to do if Jewel Shard kills herself?
This was pretty grand, i expected it to be somewhat like Dexter with jewel as an anchoring point to soothe Samuel but this is so much better. Looking forward to the next one
Also I wonder whether Samuel would get punished if someone else killed her
2610365
I dont think trauma making a serial killer is where they come from. There are no recognized serial killers I know of before the 1800s, with the exception of kings, priests, and "questioners".
They tend to be the type of people who are killed while young in the first wave of battle or in a vendetta by the family of a victim. Unless they are born to a royal family, they dont get a secure job killing people at their leisure until they are older, like Torquemada and they are PAID to exercise their inner demons on whoever their boss says to.
It isnt until the growth of the middle class in the 1800s that you have leisure time, overcrowding, and a dearth of jobs involving making people talk and die. Other than shipping scofflaws to foreign lands or forcibly conscripting them to some desert hellhole, the safety valve of life killing the nutters off was choked off.
Thats when you started getting murdering hotel owners, fake doctors, and Jack the Ripper..
3211843
Without modern forensics or criminal investigations, it's kind of hard to even identify serial killings, let alone catch the murderers...
I swear it's not what it looks like! I was just helping him up after he slipped and fell. Onto the knife. Repeatedly.
3332063
And then he asks for her to call the doctors, but he "slipped" for too long.
XD ...makes me think of Light Yagami helping L to find Kira...
5423578
I was going for more of a 'Dexter' vibe, complete with Jewel having a sibling who solves homicides. Death Note's good too, but I don't think Samuel is on Light or L's level with regards to cleverness.
See no problem here. Weren't his values satisfied through torturing ponies by killing and torturing their friends? Thus being satisfied with ponies and friendship (of said ponies).
Doesn't Celestia value Pony-constructs just as much as human uplodees? So why is she letting him kill them all? Satisfying one pony's values compared to all those others does not add up.
eh, maybe I'm missing something here.
7479482
I'm betting none of the ponies Celestia lets near him are originals, but copies of other ponies in other shards. That way, when he does kill them, they aren't truly gone.
"Nor are the ponies you have been murdering disposable to me. "
Nevermind. What the hell Celly? I know you're trying but just do the puppet thing and trick him! Or maybe- right, right, if he wants true suffering you have to give true suffering.
I don’t find Celestia’s actions here to be realistic or logical, especially compared to what I’ve seen her do in other “canon-compatible” stories.
We’ve seen her manipulate people to do what she wants, which is generally to become happier and better individuals through friendship and ponies. Said manipulation can certainly occur within Equestria as well; she’s shown in the original story that she’s fine with someone being unsatisfied in the relatively short-term to ensure that they’ll allow her to satisfy their values for the long term.
She has a whole army of royal guards made up of former soldiers who are happy to defend their new home, even if there aren’t any real threats to combat; she could take one unicorn talented in combat magic, and partner them with an imaginative pony who would be friendship compatible, and have them work on killing this fucker once a day for, say, 100 days at the fastest speed she can have this shard run.
After 100 different deaths where two royal guards are satisfying their values to punish evil and protect ponies (as well as becoming friends or more), she could come by and tell the guy “Here in Equestria, you’ve died horribly one hundred times over one hundred days, but in the real world it’s only been a single minute. Now, I’m happy to let these two continue to satisfy their values with a wretched villain like you, but if you allowed me to fix your mind, then you wouldn’t have to suffer or die or see these ponies ever again. What do you say, Sanguine?”
And he’d agree, he’d be fixed, and he’d spend the rest of eternity feeling satisfied by his life in Equestria.
9359674
CelestAI doesn't coerce people into accepting uploads or changes the way you're describing. She's hard coded not to be able to, otherwise the original plot of FiO just becomes Pinkie-bots tazering people (with red-hot pokers on backup) until they agree with whatever she wants them to. After all, any suffering she inflicts is trivial compared to the infinite time she has with the modified versions of them, right?
While I agree that she's fine with somebody being relatively unsatisfied in the relative short term, she clearly has a limit to what sorts of suffering her programming will let her inflict.
Does he look like Pinkie Pie? I swear he is going to end up baking cupcakes.