Kickstart My Heart

by dragonpony111

Chapter 2: December 24th, 2011 (part 3)

“I had an important choice to make today, one that affected me more than I could have ever anticipated. I had to choose whether or not to accept what life had literally dropped at my doorstep.”

The details of the dream quickly escape my mind as I wake up from my nap, but I can at least remember the main parts of it. It was the day of my father’s funeral and I was watching it happen all over again like it happened so many years ago. There was a bad storm with everyone huddled closely together under black umbrellas. I was closest to the casket and standing there crying while holding the hand of the police officer that was watching me. I knew this was the last time I’d get to be with the last of my immediate family. Then in the dream time quickly jumps back a few days, that one day when I came home from school to a parentless life. All I can remember from that day was screaming at the officers and asking them where my mother was and why my father wouldn’t wake up. As a nine year old you can’t really figure out what’s going on, but yet you can’t seem to trust all the men who keep telling you everything is going to be okay. That’s really all I can remember from those two days, I guess my mind repressed most of those memories.

As I sit up and look at the clock, I can see that it is almost noon. After rubbing my eyes I get up and walk back over to the box as quietly as I can, and I find the little pony sound asleep. I noticed that now the box is dried out and it is beginning to crumble and will eventually fall completely apart soon, so I’m going to have to find another way to contain her for now. I figured now would be a great time to finally explore the small storage shed outside my house, so I walk outside and go to it; the door was stuck but I managed to force it open. What I mostly see at first is old furniture covered in blankets. I begin pulling off the covers and as I do I reveal a nice wooden baby crib. It definitely looks old but the wood didn’t seem to be rotting or anything, and lucky for me it’s on wheels. I shove aside some chairs that were in the way and I wheel the crib out of the shed and into the entry room of my house. I make a good amount of noise in doing so which wakes up the pony. She doesn’t do anything really except watch me with a blank look on her face. I decided that before she does any more damage downstairs, I better focus on getting her upstairs where I can watch her better. It takes me the better part of an hour but I eventually manage to get the crib upstairs and I wheel it into my bedroom. After I come back downstairs to get her I noticed she is pretty muddy from walking around outside, so I decide to try and give her a bath, a memory I don’t think I will ever forget.

I pick her up, and yet again she appears to hate it and squirms around in my arms as I carry her; she settles down as soon as I place her in the sink. As I turn on the faucet the cold water shoots out and startles the pony, she kicks once which makes a loud clang against the metal sink, but as the water warms up it looks like she is enjoying it. All I had to clean her with was just hand soap which at least smelled nice so I figured it couldn’t hurt. As I start scrubbing her legs to clean off the mud the soap makes some bubbles, and she begins to purposely stomp them out, also letting out a cheerful winnie. She really loved popping those bubbles, why I’ll probably never know, but at least I found something that brings her joy, which in turns makes me happier as well.

Author's Note:

This chapter inst done yet, ill finish it tomorrow after my schoolwork. But when it is done this journal entry will finally be over and I can start the one for christmas day!!!

Comments

[Christian Harisay]

Putting on my read later list.

I hereby give you permission to put a boot up my ass if I haven't left one of my thorough reviews on this within a week.

- Christian 'Better get that boot ready' Harisay

[dragonpony111]

2078345
lol thanks, maybe ill just message you in a week then, im really trying to put effort into this to make it more than a passing short story.

[thewookie1]

Title made me think of this

[thewookie1]

Cute, has a My Little Dashie sort of story but is written in a different way.
I can't wait for her to talk lol.
So the Everfree Forest itself acts as a portal; interesting.

[Hurgusburgus]

[The_Last_Philosopher]

Absolutely perfect my friend. I expect many great things from this story. Its already passed through everything a good story should have keep it up.

[dragonpony111]

2078825

Thanx!!!

[The_Last_Philosopher]

2079041You are perfectly welcome good sir if you need help with proof reading and grammar or the like just ask and I'll help to the best I can.

[dragonpony111]

2079364

Actually I feel really strong with what I write as I proofread sentences twice as I write them, the only weak point I have when I should use a comma or a semicolon, pointing those out for me would be he best.

[Christian Harisay]

Oh yeah, I said I'd get back to this...

I was only able to get through the first two chapters. Maybe I'm calling it way too early, but I just could not get into this. First chapter left out too much, like how Kickstart got into the Everfree Forest, who her parents are, and really just enough to develop them into characters that I should care about.

And then with chapter two... oh, I just was drawn out even further. I wasn't really given an attachment to our unnamed protagonist, and the writing is just... ugh, no. Like this part:

“Who or what could this be at this time of night, its only ten minutes until midnight. I normally don’t have visitors, and especially not during a storm. It can’t be lightning, as that would have been much louder, I better go check it out.”

Wouldn't it just be better to write that out as, "Who could that be this late at night?"

And how the Hell does Kickstart go from Equestria to a front porch on Earth? Just... sorry, but I'm not into this one. And the Dashie is strong with one. Don't get me wrong, I fcking love that story, but this... sorry.

- Christian 'Would it have been better if I'd just forgot?' Harisay

[Sean Mulligan]

When will he realize that Kickstart is sapient and not a mere pet.

[dragonpony111]

2136793

well the filly doesn't talk yet, so honestly Idk, probably after spending 3 to 4 months with the human the filly will learn to speak.