One day Twilight Sparkle decides to study the darker side of magic. Spike sends a letter to Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, and they take action at once! Trying to confront Twilight about the darkness that this magic brings, twilight snaps in a darkening fury...and attacks the Princesses.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Description of the story contains too much information.
Pacing is OK. Caps are not ok. Names are often not capitalized liked they should be. Letter has Random Capitalization. Grab proofreader from some group dedicated to help authors.
I like the direction the story is going in. Please write moar
Dun dun dunnnnnn
Yay shes being consumed by dark magic!
So AWESOME.
Ooooh a suspenseful end!
Yes please more Luna. Also, you need to space out the paragraghs so it's not just one big wall of text. It should look like this...
“Luna, wait!” The eldest sister called out to her younger sister, “Please my dear sister, that’s in the past. Don’t keep that pain with you, I was just as much to blame I should have been there for you. I should have looked after you and comforted you when you needed it. I’m so very sorry my dear sister. Please forgive me.”
Princess Celestia said as she gave her sister a comforting hug and wrapped her wing around her so she would feel safe and secure.
“Thank you sister, for comforting me, also you have already been forgiven. It makes me the happiest to know the fact that I am here right here beside you and all of my new friends.” Princess Luna said to her sister and her friends with a biggest smile that shone as brightly as the moon and the stars. “Now, sister if you don’t mind, I will take my leave.”
“Okay my dear sister, just be sure to be careful and stay out of trouble.” Princess Celestia said as she turn back to her sister. “Also, no more pranking the guards! Some almost died last night!”
Die Monster you don't belong in this world!
Spike better get the buck out of there and help Luna.
Luna is gonna have to smack a bitch when she gets back!
but what if she doesn't come back?
Twi and sunny buts soft momen at the end was moving but the chapter feels rushed a little. As to the acseptanice of fate shown by sunny i thoult that it was the best way she could go out not begging or defiant but stoic and nobale.
And now... we.wait... I heard that off of some cartoon.
2186904 Oh, trust me, she will.
This story was great. But i found there were plenty of skips in the time. If you could fix that problem i would gladly read more of your storys.
No offense but the paragraphing is almost non-existent in this not to mention we're kind of left in the dark as to what Spike did next.
and there's still plenty of ways to solve this problem so I feel like it'd be a little premature to say her Reign began when Shining Armor and Cadence could use their pure magic to restore her.
I can see it now Shining Armor and Cadence confront Twilight armed with the crystal heart and using their combined power successfully uses their love magic that repelled the changelings and cured Twilight. For good this time. And Spike helped WOOT
not to mention that dark magic must have dulled Twilight sense of logic. why on Earth would anybody accept her as the new ruler when she's the one who murdered the princesses?
all in all, I feel like this story could benefit from a sequel, but with extra attention paid to the story development.
I really hope Twilight doesn't die, actually I hope nobody dies, hopefully Twilight gets reverted back to normal after she loses control of the dark magic or something, I've seen Twilight die alot when getting access to dark magic.
This is depressing.
Well this is sad, I wasn't expecting death to be here since there wasn't a "death" tag, why wasn't there a death tag!? Come on I wanted a happy ending!