• Member Since 5th Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen Oct 2nd, 2020

LuigiBoy781


Just your average brony.

T
Source

A human named Aden Sky and his siblings are sent to Equestria as ponies, and they soon grow accustomed to their new home. Having been transformed into a pegasus, he is taught how to fly by one of his closest friends: Rainbow Dash. All seems perfect as he grows closer to her everyday ever since he moved to Equestria. But all isn't what it seems as he takes on a life changing experience to win her heart.

Chapters (12)
Comments ( 112 )

How did they get into equestria in the first place, and how'd they get turned into ponies?

good story keep it up

1919837 The way Aden and his siblings got there will be revealed when it gets to the mushy part:twilightsmile: Flashback Style!

1920328 Don't worry It'll get to that point.

YEA RAINBOWDASH ROMANCE FIC FTW!!!!!!!:rainbowdetermined2:

I WISH I KNEW HOW TO CHANGE MY PROFILE PIC:facehoof:

Comment posted by LuigiBoy781 deleted Mar 12th, 2013

Story is in my bookmarks. Everyday I come on here and check up on this story and nothing is posted!
Killing me here man :L
:fluttercry:
For all this...now lets get some seriousness in here.
MOAR :flutterrage:

1973837 Don't worry I'm working on it right now.Well, I was until I got a notification of someone commenting.:derpytongue2: But still its nice to know people are reading my story.:pinkiehappy:

MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR!!!!!!!!1:flutterrage:

You sly dog you!
I loved this chapter. Spitfire being such a adviser to Rainbow as well as being her flirty self. I'm glad you didn't push the envelope to kissing right in this chapter because now you have me hooked on the next one.
Now you know what I'm going to say aren't you?

MOAR! :flutterrage:
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1984016 The plot is just beginning to unfold and things will only become more compicated. Besides I love the feedback I get.:pinkiehappy:

You need to start a new paragraph every time someone else talks.
For example:

"Look Rainbow I just wanted to tell you that I had no right to treat you so horribly back there I-" Aden was intterupted by Rainbow Dash as she turned to him. "I should be the one who's sorry," Rainbow lowered her head in shame as she continued. "If had just believed you. We wouldn't be in this mess."Aden took action as he lifted her head gently with his hoof.

Instead it should be:

"Look Rainbow I just wanted to tell you that I had no right to treat you so horribly back there I-" Aden was intterupted by Rainbow Dash as she turned to him.
"I should be the one who's sorry," Rainbow lowered her head in shame as she continued. "If had just believed you. We wouldn't be in this mess." Aden took action as he lifted her head gently with his hoof.

Try to find a pre-reader if you can. :twilightsmile:
Also, I don't think Dash would be one to admit she was scared so easily. Just a thought.
I'll favorite too see where it's headed. Good luck!

1984281 Thanks for the advice!:scootangel: And your opinion of Rainbow Dash admitting shows that she trusts Aden a lot. Plus everyone has a soft side, even Rainbow Dash. These first three chapters is to set the mood, build up all of the characters' personalities, and the situation. But still,thanks for the feedback I'll go fix the other chapters now:derpytongue2:

1984312 I would at least expect some hesitation on Dashie's part, but you have a point.

Great chapter man :)
Continue...MOAR :flutterrage:

Damn, I really liked that song. I would really like to incorporate a scene similar to your in my story, Tears of War.

With your permission, that is.

2069467 Yes you could. And I'll like and favorite Tears of War to see where it goes.:twilightsmile:

im a MOAR person...soooooooo ggggggggguuuuuuuueeseeeeeeeeessaassss what!!!! M O A R R R R D D

2069625 Ah, I'm glad to see another HiE DashieXHuman fan of my fiction!

You've got grammar issues bro, also, whole chapter is italics, por que?

2070738 I didn't notice the whole chapter being in italics, thanks!:twilightsheepish: And as for my grammar, I'm working on it. I'm not the best writer in the world, but the people who read this story seem perfectly fine with with it. I have to admit but when I started this chapter I had really bad grammar. But I got better as I continued writing this fic, so all is good.
:derpytongue2:

2070863 Bro, grab yourself an editor, there's like a whole group of em. Oh, btw, story feels kinda rushed imo.

2070885 Like I said, I'm not the greatest writer. But I am getting better, step by step. Also the whole editor problem is being solved, so maybe next chapter there will be an editor.:scootangel:

Damn. Just kiss already:ajbemused:

Im enjoying this man ^_^
I myself have some grammar issue's, however somepony told me something that implies to you just as much has me...

Good grammar can be learned more easily, then good story writing...
Luckily, you only need to work on one of those :twilightsmile:

Well shits bout to hit the fan.

:twilightsmile: amazing the song was perfect and the way you finshed with his name epic :twilightsmile:

totally worth the wait.

Did Soarin just hire a few hit men to try and take down Aden?
:facehoof:
Soarin, you know Canterlot's assassins cannot even hit a broadside of a barn... :ajsmug:
:trollestia::trollestia:

2244190 Not if it means at getting a chance to join the Wonderbolts.

My true intention of the ending was to get everyone like:pinkiegasp: but still like:pinkiehappy:

2244881
They'll miss twice as much then.
:rainbowlaugh:

Great Chapter there Luigi!

Just started reading and the first thing i saw, was a lack of a human tag, lol, cant wait for more though

2669414 You do know that Aden was transformed into a pony, right?

2669450 i do, but he is still a human in spirit, and i am fairly sure, that this needs a human tag because he is still a human in equestria :) but think as you like, this is still a good fic and wil be looking forward to more :)

Damn u soarin u prick:flutterrage: oh love the story thus far so please keep up the good work:pinkiehappy:

2674406 That's the reaction that I want my viewers to have! I think you're the first to hate on Soarin, so congrats.:moustache:

Wait.

Rainbow Dash.

Commissioning a dress?

Wat is dis scorcery?

2823547 Well, I guess I wouldn't have known that...

being forever alone and all...

2827356 You're never alone. You've got one hell of a fandom to fall back on!:pinkiehappy:

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