The Pinkie-Verse

by 10000 B_C

Private Eye Pinkie

Pinkie Pie was a detective.

Sure, she had only spent a week at the official training school, but she was sticking to her story.

She currently inhabited a dimly lit office on the second floor of an apartment building in downtown Manehatten. She had a short brown desk, covered in papers and the occasional cupcake wrapper. There was a small plush doll of Pinkie Pie, one of her favorite action stars from those cartoons they showed on Saturdays. It had started to gather dust, but Inspector Pinkie picked it up and brushed it off.

She remembered fondly watching that show, The Fantastic Adventures of Pinkie Pie and Co., as a young filly. Her mother would always shake her head at the antics of the pink mare on screen while eating her daily breakfast of coffee with twelve packets of sugar and a small caffeinated cupcake. Pinkie never understood it as a kid, but her mom was remembering her days as the star of the show, Pinkie and Co., of which the new show was based off.

In fact, Pinkie had never really understood her mom- she could seemingly be in ten places at once, ready to catch her for eating from the cookie jar or the waffle box. She always threw parties, even when they were low on money in her later years. It was what inspired Pinkie Pie to throw so many parties, after all. Being a detective meant nothing if you couldn’t throw parties after you found the criminal.

A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts of parties on a grander scale than she could afford. She wiped the drool that had accumulated from thinking of a cupcake the size of her office and tried to appear somewhat presentable.

“Come in!” she shouted through the door, and heard a muffled gasp on the other side.
“It is you!” the muffled voice said, charging through the door. A pink mare, with puffy hair and big blue eyes, ran straight to the desk. “I saw the ad for a private eye, and then I saw your name, and I was like no way but then I saw the picture and it was totally you! And now I know!” the pink mare spilled out, her mouth coming to a stop after that whirlwind of a ride. Pinkie Pie was thoroughly unimpressed- she could beat her speaking speed any day of the week. She was about to open her mouth when she saw the pony take a short breath. “Remember me, Pinkie? It’s Pinkie!”

Pinkie’s eyes widened. This was Pinkie? Like, Pinkie Pie? She remembered her from back in elementary, when they used to play pranks on the other students and their teachers. They tended to not get in trouble, though- for some reason, all the teachers had a great sense of humor.

“Of course I remember you, Pinkie! Wow, those were some fun times at school. Remember the look on Miss Pie’s face when we-“

“-sprayed her with a chocolate hose?” Pinkie finished.

“ Pretended to have amnesia?” Pinkie suggested.

“Had amnesia?” Pinkie corrected.

“I thought we were pretending!” protested Pinkie.

“I wasn’t,” she clarified.

“Well, whatever. You seem fine now. So, what brings you here, old buddy old pal?” asked Pinkie, lounging back in her plush pink chair. It was the only thing not colored brown in the whole room, but somehow it seemed, well, browner, simply by being surrounded by the color.

“A bus, usually, but I don’t come down to this part of town very often,” she disclosed.

“No, Pinkie, I mean, why are you in my office? I have extremely important things I have to do otherwise!” she exclaimed, her eyes shifting to a small pile of uneaten cupcakes and the Pinkie doll.

“Well, I needed help with a problem I’ve been having, and I saw that you had become a private eye! So I came to you!” she told the inspector.

“I get that you have a problem- maybe a lot of problems- but could you explain it a bit more? Please?” asked Pinkie, who was by now slightly annoyed.

“Oh! Well,” she started, a little blush on her face. “I’ve got a really bad crush on a certain somepony, but I think this pony may secretly be an evil superpony with plans for world domination!” she shouted, hooves flailing wildly.

“You probably shouldn’t be going after a pony who might take over the world, silly!” Pinkie advised.

“But she’s sooo cute!” the other pony justified.

“In that case, let nothing stand in the way of true love! What if I find out she’s actually a superpony who wants to take over the world though?” questioned Pinkie.

“I’ll be her sidekick! I’ll keep her from going too crazy, you know. I wouldn’t let her be a meanie pants!” she rationalized.

“Besides, she’s waaay to nice to be anything bad! I mean, she’d be like Princess Pie! And she’s the best Princess ever!” reminded Pinkie, eyes going wide.

“I have word from an informant in Ponyville that her sister, Princess Pinkie, is actually more of a favorite among the citizens,” corrected Pinkie, casually filing a hoof.

“Woah! You have informants?” How long have you been doing this whole private eye thing?” asked Pinkie, leaning in.

“One week!” answered Pinkie, proudly.

“You must be awesome! Like, super-duper awesome! So, will you help em find out if my crush enjoys world dominating?” she inquired.

“Ok, but you have to know my fees first! A dozen cupcakes an hour, on the hour!” demanded Pinkie, standing from her chair. “And another dozen when I’m done!” added Pinkie, a maniacal look in her eyes.

“That’s a deal, Pinkie! Let’s go!” she shouted, hopping out the door. Her hoof steps reverberated on the walls, the sound waves passing through her opened door. Pinkie paused for a bit, looking at the plushie, before hopping over her desk and rushing out the door. She didn’t have time to remember about childhood TV shows now.

She had a case to solve.

Comments

[KitaUne]

“You must be awesome! Like, super-duper awesome! So, will you help em find out if my crush enjoys world dominating?” she inquired.

She can dominate the world if you know what I mean *Cough*sheisevil*cough*