• Published 20th Jan 2012
  • 3,568 Views, 65 Comments

The Pinkie-Verse - 10000 B_C



What if everypony was Pinkie Pie? Thanks to AnneCD for the inspiration.

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The Great Pinkie War

“General Pinkie Pie, ma’am!”

“Yes, Private Pie, what is it?” replied General Pinkie Pie, from her chair.

“We need more chocolate! Our troops are down in the dumps, ma’am!” squeaked the private.

“Of course! Pinkie Pie!” shouted Pinkie.

“Yes?” the pink pony replied, looking from her reports on the effects of different shades of pink on the enemy psyche.

“Tell Pinkie to send more chocolate reserves to the western front. And an additional ten crates of streamers to the south, I think their supplies are low.”

“Absofruitly, ma’am. They haven’t had a party in at least two- no three, three hours.” Piped up the private, from behind Pinkie.

“Gaah! On the double then, Pinkie! And private, send a message to Field Commander Pie, tell her she’s got a surprise coming!” ordered Pinkie.

“Yes ma’am!” they replied in unison.

“Waitwaitwaitwait! Cancel that! It wouldn’t be much of a surprise if they knew it was coming! Make it a stealth op, Private!” demanded Pinkie, bouncing up and down.

“Yes ma’am!” shouted the Private, somehow having changed into a ninja costume in the last second.

“And don’t forget the- oh. Well done, private. Maybe you’ll be where I am, someday. I remember when I was just a filly…” she said, drifting off into memories. The young private hopped away towards the chocolate yards, while Pinkie Pie woke up a sleepy dragon by the name of Pinkie Pie.

“Yargh! You’ll never take me alive, coppers!” blurted the sleepy pink dragon.

“We haven’t got time for this, Pinks! I need you to send a message to Pinkie Pie, at the Chocolate Yard, for a thousand gallons of chocolate by sundown! Stealth equipped, too!” The dragon snapped to attention, one claw at the forehead while the other did The Promise.

“I’ll make sure the barrels have their ninja suits on properly, ma’am.” She reassured her, her other claw finishing the salute by poking her eye. She squealed in pain.

“Pinks, you’ll never rank up unless you close your eye first! C’mon, you gotta do it right or else it’s not official!” blared the officer, quickly doing The Promise.

“Woopsies! I’ll get it one of these days, for sure!” the dragon said, her claw doing the motions before she poked herself in the eye again.

“You’re hopeless, Pinks,” sighed Pinkie Pie.

“Pinkie! How’re those reports coming along? Our troops are in desperate need of a party!”

“Oop! Sorry! Pinks, send a message to Pinkie, at the warehouse, tell her we need ten crates of streamers, on the double! Oh! And, write it in Pig Latin, in case your message is intercepted by deadly ninja pirates.”

“I hate those guys! You got it! Ok, um, how does this look?”

Oink,

Oink oink oink, oink oink oink oink oink. Oink oink oink!

Oink

“Perfect! Now send it!” One large spout of pink flame and streamers later, and the message was off with the one to the Chocolate Yard.

“Yes, with the new supplies and morale, I can finally defeat that blasted Pinkie Pie and Pinkie Pie, and her little Diamond Dog Pinkie too!” monologued General Pinkie Pie, to the awestruck gazes of Pinkie and Pinkie, and of course the Royal Pinkie guard. “And finally, the threat to Equestria from Pinkie and her deadly ninja pirates will be removed, and we’ll throw the biggest. Party. EVER!”

The whole room erupted into cheers, balloons flying everywhere. Pinkie Pie danced with Pinkie Pie, Pinkie sang in front of Pinkie, Pinkie and Pinkie Pie, and somepony totally saw Pinkie Pie making out with Pinkie Pie. The number of chocolate related injuries tripled that day, but everypony in the hospital said it was so worth it.