• Member Since 19th Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen Apr 23rd, 2017


A brony and a mlp fan fic reader.


An entity ends up in equestria with only partial memory's of his past, not to mention he is in an Alien body. Let the Oddness begin!
Alien Crossover
Not my best. 0_0

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 206 )

It's ok I guess. I didn't read pass the first few paragraphs as this isn't my type of story. It might turn out well. Two things though.
1. Punctuation needs a bit of cleaning up
And 2. Grammar needs a bit of cleaning too.
Again, just my thoughts. I'll most likely not read the rest of this story, but I'll leave a thumbs up for you.

God bless and have a nice and safe day.


>> spytim you're most certainly welcome

I like this... I honestly dont want to but... Yeah Im all in now

I just torrented Aliens:Colonial Marines (there is no way I'm paying 50 bucks for that shit). I finished it, and it sucks a lot of ass. Considering "Prometheus", I had to admit that the Aliens franchise is going down the shitter. So, I decided that I've had enough frustrations for today, and went on to visit fimfiction, where I expected to see another delicious peice of pony-fanfiction.

Don't listen to that meanie, this fic is wonderful and I will be reading more :twilightsmile:


So far it's not turning me down so i'll keep track on it :)


Scootaloo is best Hive Queen!

Drone or Soldier?

2142849 Soldier AND I never said there was just one......

I'm a big fan of aliens.
But whenever I read any stories with them they are written too human like.
I don't know what you did but I like this one, keep going!

2141769 Well I never said there was just one Alien....... :twilightsheepish:

I like it it's a unique idea. Keep them coming I will be sticking around for more chapters. Liked and favorited

You say you never said there was just one. I'd recommend holding off on introducing more aliens until later in the story. Focus on One for now. Give us something to work with, instead of him being a Gary Stu alien in Equestria. Also, try to space things out. Instead of chapter one being: wake up, test body, find and save the CMC, take injured one to Ponyville, then drop said injured one off at the hospital, take some time and explain things. Like maybe show what happened in the hour he was getting used to his body. Maybe also add a mini description of his trek through the Everfree to Ponyville.

Needless to say, I'm intrigued with this story. The last Aliens in Equestria story I read just had me going
But this has caught my interest.

and here today I was thinking of how I had not found any Alien/MLP stories, probably a few around but I havent found them, get on here just browsing and I come across this. mark to read later, night all:rainbowlaugh:

ok, an alien in equestria (and possibly human). I was just thinking about something like this a few hours ago.
anyways, back on topic. This story could be a bit better. it feels a bit too rushed and all i see is a wall of text. personally i would make this one chapter into at least two to give it a bit more depth. And try to add a bit more detail too
I'm going to keep reading this because I'm a big fan of aliens, so i have high expectations for this story. So don't disappoint :pinkiecrazy:

It roared in his face, and instinct took over. Big mistake. He opened his mouth.(Is something missing Here) What a short and pathetic battle, he thought to himself. Wait, why did I just think that? I'm a nice, uh guy.

Not bad so far, worth a track to see where its going. Just please don't rush it like allot of people tend to, take it slow there is allot that could be mentioned here. Maybe give us your take on alien physiology as he learns to walk, how he perceives the world and that docent just mean sight, and that all without taking psychology into account, assuming he used to be human. Would the new way he perceives the wold affect his mental state? there is so much that could be touched on just as he is fumbling around as a 'drunk alien' please don't neglect it so you can show off how awesome xenon's are, the pic next to the story is probably why we are reading, we already know.

i am now addicted to this story it is so good:pinkiehappy:


The key word here would be "exposition". But yeah, details would be nice. I'm assuming we have a human dropped into an alien's body? This is never confirmed nor denied-- although the snarky self-thoughts would say, it's a human in there.

And as for the ponies yelling, "monster!" I dunno about them but seeing an actual alien with all those sharp pointy bits, skeletal-like exoskeleton, and drooling doubly-jawed jaws... it's like something out of a monster's nightmare. I'd probably crap my pants and run like my crap-filled pants were on fire. Panic would be the most mild reaction when that alien starts hissing at you, as if you stepped hard on a cobra's tail.

...can't wait to see when Fluttershy gives this alien the Stare. :flutterrage:

2143790Chances are our Xenomorph protagonist will hiss at her and make her shit herself in fear since, ya know, Xenomorphs are scary looking motherfuckers.


Fluttershy is a scary mo-fo too... um, when she has to be... if that's alright with everyone here that is... :fluttershyouch:

In many of the fics I've seen her jump to the rescue with the first aid kit no matter how scary the creature, overcoming irrational and very-rational fear to put a bandaid on whatever cuthulu-type critter is injured. Although the acid for blood might be a bit harsh on the bandaids... and the floor... and the dirt under the house... and everything else it drips on to.

I like it. A story not about Xenomorphs being mindless beasts. I can't wait for more!:pinkiehappy:

more please....i-if thats okay with you:fluttershysad:



2148919>>2148080 YAY! glad you like it!

Moar now!!!!!!11111:pinkiegasp::pinkiehappy::raritystarry:

imma give you like:eeyup:

Hmm... I don't mind this, but the Alien doesn't act like an alien from any of the films he seems too... Human. And why did he save Scootaloo from what I've seen of anything Alien they are relentless killers so it does strike me as odd.
Never the less I like dis

I just gotta say, I love the concept, but I just can't read this. The punctuation is awful, there is almost no quotation and if there is it's only at the beginning. There is nothing separating the Alien's thoughts from regular descriptions, so I honestly can't tell if this is supposed to be first or third person. I'm not saying you should abandon this or stop writing it, but I won't be able to read it as it is. I had the same problem with your Star Wars story, great idea brought down by horrible grammar issues.:ajsleepy:

In short, clean it up a little, and you'll have my attention. For now, you have a great premise, and that's about it.:applejackunsure:

2151336 I shall talk to my editor! :rainbowdetermined2:

2151336 Blah, I'm not a perfect editor (well, no one truly is, but anyway!), so bear with me!

As spytim's editor, it is my job to try and make this as readable as possible. However, editors make mistakes from time-to-time. If there are a lot, please, feel free to mention just what problems you may have come across. I am aware now that there may have been a few mess ups with punctuation and even grammar, looking it over again, but can you give me any examples as to what is a huge problem with something like punctuation? What was a main thing, if you can give me one, that was troublesome to come across? I only ask so I do not make this same mistake again in the future.

I will say, however, that when I gave him the edited version of this chapter, it was italicized to separate the character's thoughts from the narrative (and there were even some bolded parts not there, but that's not quite as big as this). But like when I separate paragraphs, the PM probably messes it up--which is weird, because it doesn't do that for another friend I edit for...

2151381 If you like, I might just re-do this chapter. Keep it for now, but I'll probably clean up this chapter once I get a response. I had no idea it was quite as bad as others say, and I do apologize. I honestly can say "I just don't know what went wrong." :derpyderp2:

2152299 Oh its fine. Have some Pinkies! :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

2152367 You sure? Well, alright then. :pinkiesmile:

2152399 I move based on mostly ratings, so in my opinion its fine. :twilightsheepish:

You have peaked my interest good sir and for that i add this story to my favourite list and give it a like. ^.=.^

2153340 Why good sir, I thank you for that! :pinkiehappy:

Yeah, definitely not the best thing I've ever read... but I guess it has a strange kind of charm about it. Your spelling, grammar, and punctuation are definitely sufficient, and the pacing could use a little bit of work but I'd definitely be interested in reading more.

I love it! Please continue

2195331>>2139765>>2141307>>2141332>>2141397>>2141769>>2142642>>2143338>>2143514>>2143532>>2143568>>2143607>>2143634>>2143759>>2146128>>2145561>>2148919>>2149400>>2153340>>2154749 New chapter will be coming out today so be watching! :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

About the Predators crossover...


Not gonna happen. Not from me. I'm working on five different stories already :rainbowlaugh:

2234222 Whelp than I leave that open to anyone who is up for it.

2233709 well its out!

Loving this but it was so short. :fluttercry: i needs more

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