• Member Since 7th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen 47 minutes ago

Amethyst Wind


Can't catch the Wind!

E

"Old Equestria's war is not our war..."

These words are law in Stable 61, last bastion of sanity in a world at war. At least according to the folks who live there. Ponies, zebras, griffons, you name it. They all live there in peace.

Peace is... not always easy, especially for people like Snowflake. The ones who don't quite fit in. Don't quite follow the plan.

What's a big sister to do when she's taken away from her brothers, and forced to face who she is without them? Snowflake must answer that question, and live in the process. Those aren't necessarily the same.

Now she's got a psychopathic mare, griffon merc, thieving technophile, and a killer sniper to deal with day-to-day. Quite the increased activity from monitor jockey. And then there's the little sphere tucked away in her gear...

She never had this kind of trouble with her brothers.

Cover art by the incredibly awesome Kyts. (with additional assistance on earlier cover arts from Dekkonot, Interloper, and this-guy-who-keeps-changing-his-username)

Alternative Gdocs version here.

Chapters (88)
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Comments ( 194 )

This will be interesting. I didn't really notice any grammar errors.
However, I don't recall reading any sort of description of what Snowflake looks like, besides what her cutie mark is.
Well, time to wait for a REAL critic to come along.

Comment posted by Mr Pones deleted Jan 9th, 2014

Some people may be turned away by the cliche 'Female unicorn stable pony' but I really like how you may the stable unique with other races in there. Especially buffalo, there are almost no fics out there with buffalo in them...at least, none that I've read.

Plus it's up in the north which I believe hasn't been flesh out very much. I hope to see many unique monsters plague Snowflake on her journey.

Until there are more chapters I'm afraid I can't say much else. Good luck with this story!

1887412 - Thanks for the comment. Yes you're right, Snowflake hasn't been described. This is intentional for the reasons Mr Pones mentioned. Snowflake looks the way you want her to look until some official artwork of her comes along (*sigh* I wish)

The lack of grammar errors is due to my pre-reader. I'm looking for a few more. Do you know a good way to find some?

1888917 - Well I am lazy but I liked Kkat's approach here.

1889337 - Thanks for the comment. Don't worry, more characters are coming. I'm already started on the next chappie.

I dunno how to make it say your screen name instead of the numbers. Woe is me.

1891432
Regretfully, I have none. Or any artistic ability.

1888917
Oh, SON OF A BI-
Oh. Eh, hehe...

Well, like I mentioned in my original post, I don't consider myself a very good critic. I'll keep in mind your advice from now on.. Well, the second part.

Will read soon... damn read later list is filling up!

1889337
Yeah. That does seem a little overdone. So does the 'total badass' stereotype that seems to make every last soft stable dweller into an instant death machine within a very short span of time. I don't mean kills things, I mean kills everything.

1888917

You kinda have to think the way the author is thinking in this case, though. It's a Fallout: Equestria sidefic so they may feel inclined to stay true to the original in a number of ways, like not describing the colors as a way to make the reader use their imagination..

.

Sorry, but if that last bits true (regarding colors), then I have to called bullshit. As in, that rationale is a load of crap. That's stupid. Imagination is a great thing, but it's purview is usually visualizing described not synthesizing stuff out of nothing.

WTF? Omg. What happened ? You separated chapters or what ? :pinkiegasp:

4184810 Indeed. After talking with a few different authors, I decided that, while I'll still be using the same format (between 10 and 20k words) to write the chapters, I'll be publishing them in segments of roughly 5-7k words.

It's for ease of reading, rather than asking somebody to set aside a lot of time to read each chapter at once.

Nothing else will be changing about the story.

pretty ballsy jus shouting "hey, remember that gal with the crazy bounty on her head that attacked Plottawa? yea, thats me. ok laters!" to the entire wasteland. im expecting an ass load of Mercenaries, both professional and otherwise, to b on her ass like white on rice. i kno i wud b. :trixieshiftright:

4476794 Glad you liked that part, and I hope you're liking this idea the rest of the story too. Let me know if there's something you think I'm doing wrong (or right, everybody loves ego boosts).

4615942 Oh um... I have no idea what happened there... I didn't mean to post that..

Did this story under go a rewrite? I read some of it a long time ago when there was only 4 chapthers. But I did like it I just got buisse

4673050 No, it didn't undergo a rewrite. The content itself hasn't changed, but I did split up the (rather long) chapters into easier reading chunks.

There's been no change to the story itself, just the format I present it on here.

If you want to read it with longer chapters, go here.

Story's the same either way though. Glad to have you back reading.

Ok thanks, I will most likely start from the beginning again to make sure I didn't forget any thing. And thanks for the link I like to read long chapters. :twilightsmile:

4678289 Alrighty. I dunno whether I have comments enabled in the gdocs versions, so if there's anything you need to ask then just post it up here.

And thanks for the watch too.

I just finished chapter 10 and I am really liking it so far. My fav fan fic is project horizons but yours come at a close second, and I'm not even done yet!

4694944 Well, thank you kindly. That's quite the thing to hear.

So Amethyst how did you get into wrighting Old Souls and how did you get so good at it

4713007 I got into writing Old Souls for most likely the same reason that the other sidefic authors decided to write their stories: I was inspired by Kkat's original work.

[I don't wanna spoil anything so I'll be picking my words carefully from here on]

There were a few cornerstone building blocks for Old Souls, but I can tell you at least part of one of them - The main character.

Well, no, I tell a lie, the main character was originally conceived as a follower of Discord, who had luck, both good and bad, as her special ability. She was also completely insane. I mean batshit. Everything was decided by chance for her. Everything.

I quickly decided that that idea wouldn't work pretty early on, due to my utter inability to write something that complex, and so started again. Snowflake was the result, though she was almost called Snowcone or Snowdrop, but her ice magic was a constant. Her lack of telekinesis was something that was always going to be there too. Littlepip could do nothing but Telekinesis, and I'd be lying (some more) if that didn't factor into creating a viewpoint character who couldn't do this basic unicorn skill.

I'm also not a gun nut, so I didn't want my main character to be floating a firearm around all the time.

So far she, and the story, have turned out wildly different than expected. In a good way.

But anywho, on to your second point - I got to the level that I am now (whether that's good or not) through the help of an absolutely fantastic pre-reader/editor/idea-bouncer-offer. I mention him at the end of each chapter. He's a better writer than me by far, and hopes to go pro. His guidance and support have really helped me to improve from when I started, and from what I was capable of before I began writing Old Souls (hint: I thought 3000 words was a hella long chapter).

One of my driving forces for the story is for it to be my first finished piece of (non one-shot) fiction, and to finish it in a way that I am happy with, and feel that I have done justice to the fic and the characters. Time'll tell whether I succeed or not.

...

Dunno what else to say about it, so... bunny.

I am very impressed. (God know I would never be able to write a story , even a short story) I love the way that you write, while some seen's do end a little abruptly I still can't get over how much I love it. When your finished with this story I can't wait to see what you come up with next, what ever it is I am sure it will be great.

4717028 Aww shucks. One thing at a time there, Crim. I've gotta finish this fic first before I even think about another.

Understood, can't wait till chapter 20. I stayed up till 4 in the morning reading 19. Even though I had work a 9

That's was a big suprise there at the end of the section, i really didn't see that coming

hay im new too the fic (on ch9) just what to say i`ve been loveing it,love that i have not raed a FO.E like this one would say but that would be mean to next reader (oh and too ever reads this sorry for the 6sec of your life gone :pinkiehappy: )

4822538 Probably because it took me ages to figure out the way I wanted that scene to play out XP

4823301 Thanks a lot. It's great to hear that you're enjoying it, and I hope you continue to do so.

Where do you get your inspiration from.

4836030 Dunno, really. Everything. What I've read and seen and listened to before, random conversations I've had or things I've passed in the street.

I just write, and what comes out comes out.

If my constant questions get annoying just let me know and I will tone it down a little..... I love how you always respond thanks for putting up with me

4838107 Nah, it's always nice to have comments on a story. Ask away and I'll try to answer them (spoilers not permitted though)

Your story is amazing. I love it. I already can't wait for the next chapter, and I just got caught up!

I agree, it's one of the best fics that I've read

4902448 Thanks very much. That's always nice to hear. Work's already started on the next chapter, so thank you for your patience.

4902979 Always a pleasure to hear from you, Crimson. I'll try not to disappoint for the rest of the fic.

"and,well,sanity" lol anywho you made me fan and mabe some of my pals. (this part sucks i got to be patience :fluttercry: :raritydespair:) oh and keep up with good work and love how the ch are (can read on the bus :pinkiehappy:)

4985951 That was the plan when I started splitting them up (I didn't until a few chapters ago. My longest, chapter 6, was 30,000 words. Not for the bus, I think).

Thanks for the comment, the favourite, and for telling your pals. I really appreciate it.

Hope I can continue to entertain you.

Well this is most definitely not going any way I thought it would go. I guess I'll start from the top!

Stable 61 was fascinatingly unique, and I would absolutely love to see more of it, but I doubt that'll happen. The way they carry themselves as compared to "Old Equestria" gives me chilling echoes of the Enclave. The remark about the zebras in the Stable being afraid that watching a memory orb had turned Snowflake into a "stripe-hating bigot" was an excellent touch. On top of that, the memory orb was very intriguing. I'll put this theory in spoilers because I'm convinced I'm right, but the memory orb was Cadence, wasn't it? From side material, I know that she was a pegasus before she became an alicorn, so I'm sure of it, but I could be wrong. Either way, it's still got my curiosity piqued. Anyway, moving right along! I really enjoyed the effects that the damaged memory orb had on Snowflake. I liked how you detailed her learning to shoot without levitation, using good old-fashioned tongue triggers. Kudos for going into it, as its a detail most stories tend to try and bypass, probably because there's a lot of differing ideas on how they work.

I do have to say, though, the weakest part of the story so far was Bosco's information dump. I respect that you've made the story that much more accessible to readers new to Fallout: Equestria, but for fans of the series it's not as interesting to read. That said, you took another scene that appears often in FoE stories, the first combat, and made it something intriguing with the... voices in Snowflake's head mocking her for following the ways of Old Equestria. I dare say they were almost like hallucinations with how vivid Wings and Schwarzwald's mockery was for Snowflake. I wonder if it was an effect of the orb? Even if I am completely misinterpreting what happened there, I do enjoy the angle where she's denying that she's "Old Equestrian."

Bosco is an endearing colt/stallion, and I sincerely hope he sticks around a while. I'd also love it if Snowflake became more sisterly to him, maybe talked to him about those worrying sobs. But we'll have to see I guess.

Another thing I want to comment on is that I appreciate Snowflake's talents appear to mostly be interpersonal. She's got some technical expertise with terminals, sure, but she isn't the pocket-knife-pony. But her knowledge of other cultures is definitely coming in handy, and I'd like to see more interactions with her and the buffalo in Lethbridle. I would say I'd also like to see more of her with Naiara, but since she's joined the party (I hope!) it seems I'll get my wish.

Lastly, the slavers. Y'know what, all in all, I love these guys. They aren't cartoonishly evil, hell except for their choice of merchandise I wouldn't even call them evil at all. They've got a supporting community and a leader that looks out for his own, but that makes me all the more scared of what they're going to do with Snowflake & co. Peanut may be amiable and charming, but he is... antagonistic? I think? Shit I hesitate to even call him that, and he's a slaver. Bottom line is though, Snowflake and friends are intruders in his community, and it worries me to think how he'll handle the situation.

5118260

Well this is most definitely not going any way I thought it would go.

I certainly hope this is a good thing.

I liked how you detailed her learning to shoot without levitation, using good old-fashioned tongue triggers. Kudos for going into it, as its a detail most stories tend to try and bypass, probably because there's a lot of differing ideas on how they work.

Too bad she can't hit the broad side of a barn XD

Another thing I want to comment on is that I appreciate Snowflake's talents appear to mostly be interpersonal. She's got some technical expertise with terminals, sure, but she isn't the pocket-knife-pony. But her knowledge of other cultures is definitely coming in handy, and I'd like to see more interactions with her and the buffalo in Lethbridle. I would say I'd also like to see more of her with Naiara, but since she's joined the party (I hope!) it seems I'll get my wish.

Her approach to other cultures will certainly come up again. And I think you can safely assume Naiara will get more screen time. I tend to follow the "if they've got a name and aren't dead, you'll see them again" form of character use.

Lastly, the slavers. Y'know what, all in all, I love these guys. They aren't cartoonishly evil, hell except for their choice of merchandise I wouldn't even call them evil at all. They've got a supporting community and a leader that looks out for his own, but that makes me all the more scared of what they're going to do with Snowflake & co. Peanut may be amiable and charming, but he is... antagonistic? I think? Shit I hesitate to even call him that, and he's a slaver. Bottom line is though, Snowflake and friends are intruders in his community, and it worries me to think how he'll handle the situation.

Peanut has worked very hard with Plottawa.

It's great to hear from you on this, my friend. I hope you continue to be surprised with, and continue to enjoy, Old Souls. I can't wait for chapter 6 of Wasteland Economics myself. (Seriously, non-Doctor Ham readers of this comment, go read his fic.)

So far, one of the most interesting FO:E stories I have ever read. Keep it up,dude.

5234608 I'm glad you're enjoying it. I really hope you continue to do so.

Oh god. Words cannot describe that ending. Must resist urge to spoil it...


Also, you misspelled everypony as everpony, and had the "i" in "Wings" capitalized a few times (I think it was once in the first and once in the second chapter).

5336491 Whoops. Must have missed those with my editor. My bad. I've fixed the mistakes now. Thanks for pointing them out.

I'm glad you liked the chapter ending. There were a few tidbits in there that I'd been sitting on since the story's inception.

5336974 There's definite comic relief.


|Minor Spoilers|
On a side note, I did end up in a though train that lead to using the analogy of raiders looking like saints compared to those two slavers, as well as how Snow and Under make that harder to useā€¦

This is really climbing up my "anticipation of next upload" list quite fast.

Spoilers"
Spoilers




........FUCK YOU....FUCK YOU....I LOVE YOU...

Ok the 1st fuck you is because you made me think wings was going to die ty for that

2nd is cause you made them fake kiss FUCK YOU god that killed me and the end i was like there going to there going to kiss no no let them kiss *crying/loling* dat name gg no re
Stop playing with me and let them kiss its killing me JK keep that up and i might have get a ring for you ;)

And the I<3U is cause this the best ch by far like its most likey going to be my fav unless a better one comes out knowing you there will keep up the good work and im loveing the fic

5354831 Great to hear from you, Crewser. I'm glad you liked the chapter so much.

Things will (in-story at least) be picking up for Old Souls from this point on, so maybe I can give you a new favourite chapter some time in the future.

It might take a little while to get the next chapter out as, pretty much the day after I published the chapter, my lousy Chinese knockoff Samsung (literally, bought it in China and it's fake) up and died on me. I've been stuck on mobile devices and borrowed laptops ever since. Plans are in motion to fix this matter, but it has thrown a wrench into my plans for the next chapter. Also Christmas.

Anyway, thanks again to you and all my readers for your faith, and I can guarantee that Old Souls will keep going until it is done. Hopefully it stays readable.

Comment posted by CipherSplash deleted Jan 29th, 2015

Well. First of all, i hope that you didn't stop to write couse you have great pice of story here :)
Characters are well thought out and they have intresting backround. I'm not sure about main plot so that for later :)
First i was thinking that Snowflake will become powerfull unicorn that will crush enemies by blood and ice but i'm happy that it is different :) The story is more interesting, such as is.
And ofc Schwarzwald. Great character. Funy, mysterious, full of suprises and with great sense of humor.

It's very different from orginal FoE or Horizons but in a good way. It's hmm... lightest? Well i don't have emotional break after every chapter, so that is good :D

And it was very intresting when you swapped narration between all Snowflake friends.

And for last i'm sorry for terrible language but i'm not great in english (pls don't kill me). AND ofc i'm waiting for rest of the story :)
Ride on.

5580291 Hey, buddy! Great to see you back. Thanks very much for the kind words.

I'm glad you like that Snowflake isn't a one-mare-army. It wouldn't make sense if she was. Her magic sucked during her entire time in the Stable. She did have to get better in a hurry in the Wasteland, but she still struggles.

Schwarzwald is one of my favourite characters to write. I can get away with a lot while writing her.

Old Souls isn't as dark as the original (and DEFINITELY not as dark as PH), but I still mixed up the narration to show that the others still had their own issues to deal with. It isn't all about Snowflake.

Don't worry about your language. I understood it fine. The next chapter's a big one that I have the outline for, and am aiming to have finished before the end of this month.

Ride on.

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