1. Member Since 30th Apr, 2012
  2. offline for 68w, 2d

My name is Andrew, but some of my friends call me "Cloppy". I am 22 years old and huge fan of MLP:FIM.  I write amateur clopfics, and co-found Anthropmorphics. My parents are so proud of me. ^.^

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Sorry about the long author's note. :twilightblush:

heh, It's exactly like the comic version, but with the character's thoughts!

>>1886999 My sentiments exactly.

Wait, did you actually:rainbowderp:


I would have liked hoofbeat if it didn't contain so much lesbian, which is a shame because the artwork is awesome! At least cater for both preferences than just one, good way of crippling an audience! :ajbemused:

>>1886999>>1887011 Yeah it is with a few minor differences. Also if you catch the ending, it's a little different. :twilightsmile:

>>1887027>>1887041 Glad you guys approve. :rainbowkiss:

>>1887179 Yeah I can see your point. I still enjoyed it either way. :twilightsmile: If you want to add one of your own in this, you're more than welcome to. I'll be sure to give you credit for it. :pinkiehappy:

>>1887190 I haven't written in months.

>>1887199 Ah Yeah, I noticed. Well just a suggestion. :moustache:

Nice twist at the end for why Shy-shy is doing this. :pinkiesmile:

>>1887552>>1887234 Thank you. :twilightsmile: I am glad you enjoy the ending. :rainbowwild:


>mild rape

>futa RD

>>yet, still liking/fav'ing/tracking...

>>>I didn't like this crap before ponies what is happening to me:rainbowderp:

:rainbowlaugh: Gotta read the comic now. XD

wow that was awesome dude another chapter? :twilightblush:

>>1889675 :rainbowlaugh: Dude I know the feeling. What have they done to us? :rainbowderp:

>>1890386 Oh yes you should. They recently let out 2nd one about month ago I think, so you don't have to wait for it. Like I did... :pinkiesad2: I will also be doing those eventually. :twilightsheepish:

>>1890477 Very, soon hopefully. I really like the next story, so I want it to be good. :moustache:

“I’m touching your breasts... aren’t I?”

^there i lost it xD :pinkiehappy:

Interesting. Commence read.

Release the nest chapter, damn!:rainbowlaugh::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::rainbowkiss:

While I wrote this, I thought of extending the threesome scene, but I wasn't too confident about it. Because I have never written one before and I didn't want to screw it up. :unsuresweetie: I'm already nervous about the next story. :rainbowlaugh:

So up-vote this comment if you would like me to try to extend it to a chapter after Muffins, or leave it alone. It's your guys decision. :raritywink:

:rainbowlaugh: oh god why are the ending so funny

>>1904271 I enjoy this fanfic of the comic, to be honest you should extend it to muffins since I'm looking forward to reading it.:pinkiesmile:

Apparently, the next chapter is up [size=1]*Trollface*[/size]

all i do is lol lol lol no matter what:rainbowlaugh:

The Didact is pleased

It may not look like it, but he really is.(dude's a closet brony)

Applejack softly pushes her fingers inside Rarity's renal

...her kidney?


>>1915234 It's another term for "anus" :rainbowwild:


Definition of RENAL

: relating to, involving, or located in the region of the kidneys

>>1915246 I looked it up again... :facehoof: Thank you for pointing that out. :twilightsmile:

if this is hoofbeats shouldent the names be "Twibright" and "Flustershy"?

>>1925911 Yeah I changed it so I didn't confuse some people who have never read them. :twilightsmile:

Does anybody have a link to the comic?

Comment posted by ABronyLife42 deleted at 10:22pm on the 5th of March, 2013

I found several grammar problems that need fixing:

1: The first paragraph is past tense, but the rest is present tense. You're generally not supposed to change tenses.

2: Paragraph 5, "Sounds like Fluttershy has freaked herself out," The space should be after the end quotation marks, you have it before.

3: Paragraph 6, The first half of the sentence is past tense. Change 'was lowering' to 'lowers' to keep it to one tense.

4: Paragraph 6, "Uh, Fluttershy is everything-" Once again, you have the space before the end quotations as opposed to after.

5: Paragraph 8: "Ummmmm..." You put a space before and after the end quotation marks.

6: Paragraph 14, The first half of the sentence is past tense. I recommend changing it to, "while she stands there"

7: Paragraph 15, "Woops" is generally spelled "Whoops"

8: Paragraph 16, another space before the end quotation marks

9: Paragraph 18, you shifted back into past tense. Change "was walking and turning" to "walks and turns"

10: Paragraph 21: change "Ow, my foot!.." to "Ow! My foot..."

11: Paragraph 22: shifted into past tense. Change "was stopped" to "stops"

12: Paragraph 29: i believe "rob" is supposed to be "robe"

13: Paragraph 34: "isn't" makes "bust" a singular verb, but "are" makes it a plural. "Her bust" can't be singular and plural.

14: Paragraph 34: The word "it" should be between "placed" and "firmly"

15: Paragraph 35: "Involved and Overly Intricate Knots" book titles should be italicised or underlined, not in quotations

16: Paragraph 36: "Crotchless panties" correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't panties nothing but crotch? If so, wouldn't that make crotchless panties nothing?

17: Paragraph 36: Another space before the end quotation marks.

18: Paragraph 37: Add a "d" to "suppose" and put "is" before it.

19: Paragraph 40: "excitingly" should be "excitedly"

20: Paragraph 43: Use of past tense. "stared" should be "stares" and "threw" should be "throws"

21: Paragraph 44: "It's" is being used as possessive, and therefore should not have an apostraphe.

22: Prargraph 45: Use of past tense. "made" should be "makes."

23: Paragraph 57: change "Fluttershy" to "Fluttershy's."

24: Paragraph 59: change "pull" to "pulls."

25: Paragraph 60: space before end quotations.

26: Paragraph 85: "every pony" should be one word.

27: Paragraph 99: "built' should be "build up"

28: Paragraph 99: "throw" should be "through"

29: Paragraph 99: add "she brings" before "her hand"

30: Paragraph 106: Changeling Fluttershy pulls Twilight out of the house, and then they notice the real Fluttershy tied to the ceiling. Would that mean that Fluttershy is on top of the house?

31: Paragraph 106: How can Changeling Fluttershy's laugh reverberate through the house if they're outside?

32: Paragraph 107: change "Twilight" to "Twilight's"

33: Paragraph 107: establish that the changeling goes back into the house before saying "the changeling inside."


Lieutenant Benson of the Grammar Nazis

Comment posted by Volcash deleted at 4:44am on the 16th of June, 2013

>>2728645 Sorry, I missed one.

34: Author's note, "way" should be plural.

Update already!!:flutterrage:

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