• Member Since 22nd May, 2012
  • offline last seen June 18th

Time Pony Victorious


Sequels2

T
Source

Edited by the lovely PhiliChez


Now with a TVTropes page!


A strange blue box crash lands in the middle of the Everfree Forest to be discovered by Twilight and Spike. The Doctor stumbles out of it and makes the shocking discovery that he's accidentally traversed to another universe entirely! Ready to test his new four legs in this universe, the Doctor does what comes naturally to the renegade Time Lord; jumps cutie mark first into danger.

With Twilight Sparkle and the other Elements there to make sure he doesn't do anything too stupid, the Doctor with his TARDIS goes off to explore everything this new universe has to offer. New adventures and historical ponies await the crew as they continue to go onwards and upwards.


Cover art by: http://bakki.deviantart.com/

Brilliant isn't it? Check it out! (slightly NSFW)

Chapters (27)
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Comments ( 271 )

Random thumbs down, woo :pinkiehappy:!

1971716
Gotta love those :pinkiecrazy: My friend gave me one just to see how I'd deal with a bad review.
The Doctor huh? :pinkiehappy: I think I'll be enjoying this read. Looking forward to see how it turns out :twilightsmile:

My friend loves Doctor Who, and I've personally never seen it before. I decided to read this and, from what I can tell, it's pretty cool! Keep making chapters, please!

1971914

I shall indeed! Thanks for the favorite :twilightsheepish:

1971858

Yep, I adore those random thumbs down :trixieshiftleft:

And enjoy yourself! Nothing else would make me happier :twilightsheepish:

1971914 You haven't? :pinkiegasp:

Here's something to watch if you're interested.

Very well written. I like what you've done with the Doctor, and I can't help but wonder what's in store for him and Twilight. I'm looking forward to seeing the next adventure you have them go on. :pinkiehappy:

Name of Story: The Adventures of Doctor Whooves

Grammar score out of 10: 8

Pros:
Your 12th is an amazing mixture of old and new.

The all round tone of the story is DW quality. (I could imagined it as a real episode.)

You some how managed to capture the innocence of MLP, and the action of DW perfectly.

Cons:
At times I found my self distracted from the story by your over use of the, like a wind breezing past the fallen leaves, sort descriptive wording.

There where several plot wholes that can be easily fixed. (I will elaborate in the note section.)

While I read through this I found quite a few grammatical errors, nothing to big though. You should be able to fix most of them if you or someone else was to proofread it, again.

Notes Section:

Plot Hole: How was the second Kyrnoid Twilight's house? If the doctor did his sonic-y thing, the second Kyrnoid should have been in range of the sonic blast-sound-thing as well as the first, if not better seeing as the second basically had the doctor standing on him/her.

How to fix: Before the library springs legs describe shaking and a dirt being lifted up from the ground as if something was tunneling under all the way to the tree home. Then let it go green and evil.

Plot Hole: Why was spike asleep if he was just a moment ago, banging on the door in a full panic trying to get out?

How to fix: Say it was sleep powder or the green stuff from the alien plant that put him to sleep. Or better yet make him fade from green to normal when twilight finds him. That should explain every thing.

That's about all I have to say. It was a wonderful read, be it a tad long. (That's about 4 to 5 chapters in my book. Still, that's not really a bad thing.)

Anyways, I'm not favoriting this story to help you, I'm favoriting it because it's awesome, and really well written! (Way better than anything I could do.)

I love what you did with this story from the Doctor being similar to his previous incarnation (too many are closer to Tennant which gets a bit old), the subversions of many typical cliches, and a different color scheme and style for the doctor. That being said there were a few things that I had issues with involving the Krynoids.
It has already been established that the Doctor's screwdriver (at least both Ten's and Eleven's) do not "do wood." So why is it that the Krynoids who have infected trees are vulnerable?
Going over the DW Expanded Universe shows that a particular genetically altered strain of Krynoid was vulnerable to high frequency sounds but only in regards to their control over their hosts and not too such a lethal degree.
Other than that I can't find anything particularly glaring errors in this wonderful story you've created. Thumbs up and Favorites from me! I look forward to what you have in store for the Doctor and Twilight.

1988061

Although I hadn't expanded on this, the genetic strand of these particular Krynoid are much different, and weaker, than the ones from the Doctor's own universe. Possibly through the "ponification" process they became significantly weaker. The ponification process, by the way, is something I sorta thought of to explain how and why anything that enters the MLP universe turns into a pony or conforms to the universe's standards.

That being said, it should be noted that the Doctor's screwdriver didn't directly affect the tree's structure but the specific genetic structure of the Krynoid. It only stunned the Krynoid anyways, but, yes, this Doctor's screwdriver still doesn't do wood...

Which is odd because the TARDIS is wood...

Or at least looks like wood.

Huh, never thought about it.

Anyways, thanks for the favorite and your interest! I hope you'll stick along for the ride :twilightsheepish:

i need moooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaarrrrr!!!!!!!!!! :raritystarry::raritystarry::raritystarry::raritystarry::raritystarry::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

1988151
Ahhh the Ponification process. That's actually an idea that I've been thinking about lately. An excellent source of Applied Phlebotinum.

I was referring to how he destroyed the first Krynoid by using the Sonic Amplification Trick he first pulled in the Runaway Bride in connection to the inability to affect wood. I can't see how wood would be the first to break before any lasting damage was done to the pony zombies (or the windows). Maybe something to do with the seed?

Not bad. Very well written.
Like the addition of Sunny and the time lapse doctor, very cleverly played.

And so the Doctor gets to Canterlot... and right into Luna's bath apparently.

Can't wait to see more!:pinkiehappy:

So very rarely do I get to see Twilight as the companion. I am enjoying the story and like your first chapter. Can't wait to see where this is going. I myself am writing a Doctor type story. You should check it out if you have not already. It takes a much different path then all stories that come before it.

2052982

Thank you very much for your support, I hope you will enjoy future installments :pinkiehappy:

And yes, I have checked out your story and am already intrigued by it :twilightsheepish:

2052284

He has a habit of making his presence known, I wonder how Twilight will react upon learning about that :facehoof:

2052265

Oh Daleks, you so silly

2051931

Thanks! :heart:

2054533

I'd say that she would be shocked, then outraged, then panic, afterwards try to form a plan of rescuing the Doctor, then panic some more.

You wouldn't of happened to have read, "Traveler," before? Because, this story reminds me a lot of that one.

How your Doctor acts,

How Twilight acts,

both of their word choices,

some of the small plot choices, (Like the tardis mapping out the universe thing.)

The fact that in the first chapter the doctor kept calling twilight by made up names.

It might just be me, but I can't help but notice the similarities. :twilightsheepish:

:pinkiegasp: oops he he a catupult oh pinkie and lyra :pinkiehappy::facehoof::rainbowlaugh::rainbowkiss:

Maybe this one reaches the moon?
Love it!

2066823

Yes, but most Doctors tend to have a composite-type personality construct of multiple incarnations, I went that route as well; channeling mostly the 10th and 11th with a little 1st, 2nd and 4th thrown into the fray. Also in response to the made up words thing, I simply copied the 9th who did that often to Mickey to annoy him. :pinkiehappy:

2142175>>2142196

Oh yes, Pinkie is somepony the Doctor might never get used to ^^

2142217

Perhaps, not sure he'd enjoy such a rough trip to the moon tho :twilightsheepish:

well if the fall doesn't kill him part of me thinks that twilight will also loved that i speak baby part lovely :yay:

Confound this ponies they send the Doctor to the moon!

very well done, good sir. Impressive. Can't wait for more!

The Doctor is the best baby-speaker :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

Having blackout issues atm @.@ I'll get back to you tomorrow.

This review is brought to you by the group Authors Helping Authors.

Grammar Score:
9/10
Not much I see here that you could improve on for grammar, besides a couple of instances where I find your punctuation works, but could work better with periods replaced by commas or with commas replaced by semicolons. Very minor stuff.

Pros:
- Your characters feel very natural. You obviously have a brilliant understanding of character personality and development.
- The general flow of your writing is extremely smooth, and your sentence and paragraph structures are something to be envied.
- Great interpretation of the Doctor; your 12th seems to be a heavily inspired the 10th (My personal favourite), and a little bit of your own flair.

Cons:
- Too many references. While seeing a few hidden jokes here and there is always an amusing little easter egg treat, I feel like you do it too often. What this means is that it doesn't let your character develop properly, but leaves him standing on crutches; it'll be much more difficult to raise up a clear, distinct personality. I'm not saying that you should cut them out entirely, but maybe you could cut back a little.
- You do a good job of painting an image without much of this already, but you may want to write a little more about the facial expressions and features of your characters. I find that it can really add lots to the mood of the scene.
- Not really a 'con' per say, but the TARDIS draws its power directly from the Doctor's universe. if Equestria is a place with powerful enough magic to shove a Time Lord's form into that of a pony, you may want to elaborate on how this may have affected the TARDIS and time in itself.

Notes:
This is a great story. I have high standards, but I'll be keeping an eye on this one from now on. Please take a look and review one or both of my stories (whichever you prefer),
1. A Forgotten Past,
2. A Young Lady's Guide to the Demon Slaying Arts.

Until next time.
Black Lightning

The cover looks like David Tenet ponified. Am I right?

I swear I have read this before.

Not a bad start. Let's see where they go!

This is good:pinkiehappy: everything is in perfect character :derpytongue2:

2318455

Are you thinking of Loyal2Luna's Doctor Whooves - The Series: Episode 1 - The Pinkie Conundrum?
The midnight scene is really similar to the one Loyal2Luna wrote up, so I'm guessing that's what you picked up on.

2319053

While this may sound like a cop-out and a totally lame excuse (so, I won't hold it against you if you don't believe me) but I've had plans for a Doctor Whooves story before I read Loyal2Luna's work (brilliant, by the way) and when I plan out a story I tend to map out everything conceivable from beginning to end. The midnight scene was one of the first things I thought up (although originally it was supposed to be Twilight only) so parallels can be made.

I scraped the whole story eventually and went with my less successful story Daring Do and the Turquoise Serpent. Eventually, I found my way to Loyal2Luna and became inspired enough to go ahead with my Doctor Whooves story. My first fear were the parallels people would draw from my to her's, even going as far as to accuse me of copying. But eventually, I said bollocks to that and went on with it.

Though I am glad with the reception I've gain, even if it's minor :twilightsheepish:

2319225

Not to worry, I believe you. The parallels between the two stories don't detract from my enjoyment of how the plot is progressing. Honestly, I can't really see the Doctor being introduced to the rest of the Mane 6 by Twilight in any other dramatic way as fitting as this one, so it makes sense to me that you'd write up a similar scene. Keep up the good work, I look forward to seeing the Doctor's adventures with the Mane 6!

Take them to Barcelona, where the Diamond Dogs have no noses!!

I'm waiting for somepony to say, "The end of the world."
Then the Doctor would be like, "No thanks, seen it before."

So, Doctor? Where two first?

Krynoids, you see, latch on to living victims; humans.
latch on to living victims; humans.
humans
This would be okay, but Twilight never asked what a human was.

2342566

You can chalk that up to me disliking human involvement in MLP stories. I hate the idea of humans either existing (mythological or otherwise) in a world filled with humans, it just bugs me and makes me uncomfortable. Naturally, with the Doctor I've basically just said bollocks to the last two sentences and solidified their existence. But I like to steer clear of that regardless. Then the question is, "Why mention them in the first place?" Well, because the Krynoid's first victims on Doctor Who were humans, so, it'd be strange if the Doctor didn't mention them when trying to describe them.

I'm glad you didn't make him too human. I really can't stand a Human story where they immediately cope and what not. But this, oh this quite realistic because its The Doctor. I love the start, hopefully this doesn't become twilight x Doctor fic.

Not gonna lie, this is one of the better doctor whooves fics on the site.

I like this. More please!!!!

Awesome as always!
...and now we wait for November 23.

2639683

Still, we've got 10th to look forward to and John Hurt! :twilightsheepish:

2639696 David Tennant was always one of my favourites.:twilightsmile: I wonder what new faces of the Doctor John Hurt will bring into the show?

2639775

I am very excited to hear that Matt is staying on for series 8 and a Christmas episode. He's my first Doctor and therefore has a place in my hearts.

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