• Published 23rd Feb 2013
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The Adventures of Trixie if Her Father Was a Badass Alien - totallynotabrony



After some irresponsible age spells, radiation exposure, and adoption, Trixie is...changed. Rated M for machine gun.

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Chapter 1

A side story to the Dreams Series
The Adventures of Trixie if Her Father Was a Badass Alien

The sky began to darken towards evening. Still faintly visible was the fiery exhaust of the rocket that had launched from Ponyville a short while earlier. Trixie lay on her back on a grassy hill outside town staring forlornly at the fading trail in the atmosphere. Aboard the rocket was the only pony she could truly count on.

The blue unicorn mare looked troubled as she lay on top of her purple cape. A gentle breeze ruffled her pointed hat and silvery mane, but did nothing to lift her spirits. Things had not gone well for Trixie since the first time she’d visited Ponyville. She had fled after the Ursa Minor incident to patch up her pride and plot revenge. Her attention had turned to the strange stallion living as Twilight Sparkle’s roommate, an orange earth pony who called himself Valiant. He was not interested in the librarian romantically, and in fact interested in little besides creating outlandish devices and searching for something called alcohol.

Trixie got up from her place on the hill, heading towards the Ponyville library which was currently empty after the New Princess fiasco that had occurred recently. Valiant had been called on to solve some of the problems related to that, mostly because they had been largely his fault. Alicorns and aliens did not mix well.

Valiant was not a pony who handled conflict very well, in fact he was a pony in shape only. Had Trixie known more about him, she would never have crossed his path. As it was, she had been looking for something to give her an edge over Twilight, and had stolen from Valiant something called a nuclear weapon.

The experience had been one of the most horrible events of her life. Unaware of proper handling procedures, Trixie had been exposed to huge amounts of radiation that altered her body grotesquely and left her mind barely intact and thirsting for revenge. She wandered Equestria, becoming a criminal and social outcast.

Everything had come to a head during a climactic battle in Ponyville. The Alicorn Amulet Trixie had obtained to enhance her power had increased her repertoire of spells, but she was still a freak of nature. During the fight, an age-changing spell had been reflected straight back in Trixie’s face, reverting her back to unblemished foalhood.

The blue unicorn came down off the hill and walked through town. She opened the library door and stepped inside, looking around and thinking about her future. It certainly looked better now than it had. The age spell wore off over the course of a few weeks, but in that period of growing Trixie had become an entirely different pony. Gone were her old ways, even the harmless magic show pranks. Old habits had changed, and her life had taken a completely different turn.

As a helpless filly, assistance had come to Trixie from an unlikely source. Valiant, the pony she’d antagonized and wouldn’t have minded murdering, had been overcome with something he called “a case of the feels.” He had, in every sense of the word, adopted her. Trixie remembered her biological parents, but they…well, she’d gone on the road as a traveling magician for a reason.

Valiant cared for Trixie, and convinced Twilight to tutor her in magic. A few weeks hadn’t been nearly enough to cover a whole education, but Trixie’s memories had survived intact and she was able to build off what she already knew.

Her overall power was stronger than before, something that was eventually connected to residual radiation. That discovery had nearly put an unshakable dark cloud over everything. Would Trixie’s body go back to being disfigured as she grew? Was her condition unsafe for the ponies around her?

A local zebra chemist named Zecora had come through with special medicine that helped. As long as Trixie kept taking the drug and was careful with her magic output, she should be fine.

Through it all, Valiant had remained a loving parent. It was odd, as he claimed to have never loved anything in Equestria before. Trixie had not asked much about the world he had come from.

Standing in the library, Trixie sighed. She’d matured and re-earned her cutie mark, physically reverting back to the mare she had been, maybe missing a year or two. In fact, age-wise she was really more of a contemporary of Valiant. The feeling of family she’d gotten from him, however, was something she honestly didn’t remember ever experiencing before. Strange that somepony who wasn’t really a pony could be more connected to her than any other.

Valiant wasn’t from the planet. Exactly how he had gotten to Equestria was a bit of a sensitive and complicated subject, one that not even he understood well. One thing he was knowledgeable about though was advanced technology, even if Equestria had no need for rockets or projectile weapons. Valiant seemed to be driven to be considered cool, even if only by himself. That was why he’d taken off on a flight to space.

Trixie collected a few possessions. She’d lived with Twilight and Valiant in the library, and now that both of them had just left Ponyville for different reasons, there was no reason for her to hang around. She had already decided to take to the road, much like the traveling magician act she’d once known. This would not be a tour for a flashy show, however. Trixie was not yet sure what she wanted to do with her new lease on life. Cutie marks might designate talent, but purpose was something else entirely.

There had once been a time in her life when Trixie didn’t trust wheels. Learning to skateboard had broken her of that habit. The board had been put on semi-permanent loan to her when Valiant had left. He had also taught her how to use one of the products of a recent engineering spree. It was a weapon called an M60 machine gun. Trixie did not know who Rambo was, but apparently he had used something similar.

It was a ridiculous weapon, really. It could fire a hundred-round belt of ammunition in about ten seconds. The cartridges had to be custom made from lead, copper, brass, and gunpowder. That was a lot of work, but it would kill just about anything.

Truthfully, with a weight of twenty three pounds, it was more versatile to use it as a club. Trixie was not sure whether it was the power of the atom or more study that had given a boost to her magic, but she was glad to have it. Actually firing the machine gun required effort.

She slung the weapon on her back and reached for a pair of sunglasses. They were fairly stylish and had belonged to Valiant. Settling them on her face, Trixie took one last look around. She had a supply of anti-rad medicine, some bits, and the things on her back. Not the best way to prepare for a trip, but if there was one thing her adopted father had taught her, it was to be creative.

Trixie stepped onto the skateboard and rolled towards the door. Outside the library, Ponyville awaited. She glanced around the small town for a moment before turning to the west and heading towards the setting sun with no particular destination in mind. Whatever happened next was up to the whim of chance.