• Published 1st Jan 2013
  • 12,908 Views, 419 Comments

White on Black - TheSexyMenhir



“You are hereby invited to the wedding of her royal majesty Princess Celestia of Equestria.” Twilight is stunned when she receives this message, especialy since she didn't know that Princess Celestia had been seeing anypony...

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Of culture, cooking, and the law

White on Black
Ch.07 "Of culture, cooking, and the law"

Twilight eyes shot open wide. Something was wrong. Quickly she scanned the room around her. She was still in her library tower in Canterlot and she was alone in the bedroom. From down the stairs she could hear one of her friends snoring.

She lifted her blanket. All limbs were still present and accounted for and as far as she could tell she hadn’t sprouted any extra appendages as well.

She sniffed the air, but was only greeted by the usual mixture of morning dew, flowers, and what she called ‘the smell of the big city’.

Her horn flared up as she scanned the room for hostile magic, but every scrying spell she could think of came up negative.

For several minutes she sat in her bed, breathing heavily, while she tried to identify what felt so out of place this morning. Then it finally dawned on her; nothing was wrong.

Over the course of the last two days she had become so accustomed to the state of constant panic, that she actually felt riled up because nothing was amiss.

She let herself fall back onto the mattress with a sigh and looked up at the ceiling. A changeling looked back down at her. Thank god, she wasn’t going crazy after all.

---

A very sleepy changeling queen, stilted out of the bed, and crawled towards the door. As she approached the wooden gateway the strangest feeling of deja vu overtook her. When she opened the door she looked towards the floor, which is why she spotted the lavender hoofs of her guest first.

Twilight Sparkle stood outside the royal bedchambers, her mane frazzled as if she had just awoken herself.

“I think this belongs to you.” The lavender unicorn snarled, before dropping a meek looking changeling in front of her.

Chrysalis, scanned the creature before her, with her thoughts as well as with her mind.

“When I said ‘Bring me Twilight Sparkle first thing once the sun rises!’, I meant that you should knock on her door and escort her here.” She said, rubbing her temples with a hoof.

She turned towards the rather annoyed looking unicorn that stood in her doorway. “My apologies, it seems that some of the Infiltrators have a hard time adjusting to a live where they don’t have to hunt for love.”

Twilight’s answer was a guttural growl, that could be interpreted as everything from understanding to disapproval. Chrysalis shielded her eyes when the unicorns horn flashed purple leaving only emptiness where Twilight had stood seconds prior.

---

“Who was that?” Celestia’s voice could be heard from the balcony. She stood outside, her horn glowing as she raised the morning sun.

“Your protege found one of my changelings in her bedroom.” The queen of the changelings answered, while she dragged herself back to bed. And once again the world came close to destruction as Celestia nearly dropped the sun.

“SHE FOUND A CHANGELING WHERE?!?” Celestia tried to glance over her shoulder, her attention obviously torn between the changelings queens word, and her current task.

“You know how the infiltrators have a hard time adjusting, just a little miscommunication.” Chrysalis yawned, already half asleep again.

Celestia visibly relaxed and focussed back on the gigantic ball of fiery plasma that provided warmth and light to all of Equestria.

“So what was your first impression of them?” She asked after the sun was set on it’s course. The night before they both had been far too exhausted to engage in any kind of conversation.

“I don’t really know what you see in them.” Came the muffled voice of the changeling queen, from under a huge pile of pillows. Celestia chuckled as she watched her fiance’s attempts to block out the sunlight. Gently she lay down besides her before levitating a pillow out of the way, revealing chrysalis face.

With a pleading look, Chrysalis looked up to the white alicorn, only her head sticking out of the covers. “Five more minutes?”

Celestia rolled her eyes and threw the pillow back onto the changelings face, before she trotted off into the bathroom.

“You still haven’t answered my question though.” She shouted over the sound of running water.

Chrysalis fidgeted around the bed, rumpling the blanket and shuffling the cushions about, while she tried to find the right words.

“They seem strange. They don’t really have that much in common, but I can feel a strong bond between them. When you first brought them in I thought you had found another changeling clan.” She finally said.

Unseen by the black queen a slight smile crawled over the white alicorn face.

“Oh really? What do you mean?” She asked.

“It was like they shared their minds, like they were... connected, the same way I am to the hive mind.” Chrysalis replied, apparently struggling to find the right words.

“Never noticed that. I’m sure you’ll get it when you spend a little time with them.” The white diarch said, while strolling out of the bathroom, only to be met by Chrysalis accusing eyes.

“This is one of your little schemes, isn’t it?” The black queen asked.

Celestia didn’t say anything, but the way she looked away told Chrysalis everything she needed to know.

“Cellie, it’s nice that you are looking out for me, but I’m not one of your ‘little ponies’, don’t play your games with me.” She said. Celestia deflated from her fiance’s reprimand, clearly aware that she had hurt the changeling queen’s feelings.

“I’m sorry sweetie, I should have been honest with you, but this is something that you have to see for yourself, I cannot explain it to you.” She said, a sorrowful look on her face.

Chrysalis expression remained hard, but after a moment her features softened and she let out a heartfelt sigh.

“I guess, that’s what I get for poisoning you, to experience the hive mind.” She said with a wry smile.

Celestia looked up hopefully, and smiled as well when she saw the smile on Chrysalis face. She leaned in to nuzzle the black queen, only to be held back by a hole riddled hoof.

“Oh no, you don’t. I’m still cross with you for not telling me earlier.” Chrysalis said, trying her best to look strict.

“Now, whatever could I do to change your mind about that?” Celestia said playfully, while she began to pluck some feathers out of her pillows. Chrysalis eye’s shot wide as she saw more and more feathers float around the solar matriarch.

“Don’t you dare!” She warned her, as she slowly back away to the door. With a mighty pounce Celestia launched herself at the changeling queen.

...

That morning when Celestia opened the day court, she might not have looked as regal and composed as normal, but a big smile was plastered on the solar matriarchs face the entire time.

---

“Good morning Twilight!” Twilight nearly dashed back out of the door when she heard the enthusiastic greeting of the changeling queen.

“I hope you have slept well?” Chrysalis inquired, smiling broadly. Very carefully Twilight entered the dining hall. She looked around, but the room was empty except for her and the surprisingly cheerful queen.

“I’ve slept well, except for being awoken by a changeling this morning.” Twilight said, with a bit more bite in her voice than she had intended.

“Ah well, sorry for that again. I’m sure he didn’t mean anything with it.” Chrysalis chimed, seemingly oblivious to Twilights scorn. “I think we have a wedding to plan, don’t we?”

“Okay, I bite, what is wrong?” The purple Unicorn finally asked.

“Wrong, what should be wrong?” The changeling replied, a wide cheek to cheek grin still plastered on her face.

Twilight eyed Chrysalis, distrust clearly visible on her face. “You’re acting so... cheerful.”

“And why shouldn’t I? I’m soon to be wed to a beautiful mare.” Chrysalis exclaimed happily.

Twilight shook her head. ‘You should really stop being so paranoid, even Chrysalis can’t be sarcastic all the time... I guess...’ She thought to herself, determined to accept this change as a welcome surprise rather than being alarmed about it. She turned to Chrysalis, and answered her smile with the best grin she could muster.

“Well then, no time to waste, right?”

Just outside the window for a short moment a baby blue blur could be seen.

---

“I’m telling you Applejack, she is up to something.” Rainbow Dash said to the orange farmpony.

Applejack placed her Stetson on her head finishing her daily morning routine, and turned towards her friend. “Don’t ya think, ya’re overreacting just a mite bit? Just ‘cause she’s acting nice doesn’t mean she has ta be up to something. She might just be happy ya know.” Applejack drawled.

“Sure, and Pinkie is a example of sanity.” Rainbow said, rolling her eyes.

“Now, that’s no way to talk about yar friends.” Applejack reprimanded the boisterous pegasus.

“You know what I mean.” Rainbow Dash said defensively.

“Yeah, but someday somepony might not.” The orange mare replied, her brows still furrowed. Only after she was sure, that the message had penetrated the blue speedsters brain, her features softened.

“Ah know, that ya don’t trust Chrysalis, and to be honest I don’t know if Ah trust her maself, but Twilight said that she’s alright and Ah think that she usually knows what she’s talking ‘bout.” She tried to ease her friends worries.

“If you say so...” Rainbow still didn’t look convinced, but she turned around and left the room before Applejack could say anymore. “Doesn’t mean that I can’t keep an eye on her.”

---

“Okay Fluttershy, you can do this!” The butter coloured mare mumbled to herself, while frantically pacing up and down in front of the ballroom door. She took a moment to look at her face, reflected in a golden vase.

“You can do this. You’re not the weak little doormat you have been in the past. You’re strong! You know what you want! YOU CAN DO THIS!” Screaming the last words she stormed through the doors.

Twenty pairs of eyes looked at her. The room was filled with changelings. Fluttershy could feel the glare of those cold alien eyes on her. Their sharp fangs glistened in the light of the early morning sun, and their thick chitinous skin made them look like they were adorned in heavy plate mail.

“Meep.” Fluttershy managed to say before she passed out.

---

*Slam*

The door shot close right in front of Rarity’s nose.

“How rude! is that how you treat a lady?” She huffed towards the closed storefront giving an decidedly unladylike gesture. In her defence it must be said that this by far hadn’t been the first door to get slammed in her face this morning.
Rarity had always been proud to say that she never missed a chance to socialise and mingle with the people of her trade, but as things were going, she was running out of options fast.

With all the urgency of social elites, that feared for their (more or less) hard earned positions, the nobles and would-be nobles of the city had quickly reached a consensus: They didn’t want to have anything to do with those changelings.
And if the nobles didn’t like something, the fashion industry didn’t like it either, after all it was primarily the nobles that wore any clothing at all.

Rarity levitated her small black book of contacts out of her saddlebag and crossed out another name. She skimmed over the worryingly few names that were still left.

Hmmm... Maybe she was going about this the wrong way. For a short moment the white fashionista stood still in the middle of the street, her slowly widening eyes and her wicked grin the only testament to the ideas that were rapidly forming in her head.

“Idea!” She cheered before running off towards her unknown destination.

---

“Let’s see, I think first we should check up on Pinkie and Applejack.” Twilight mused, while she levitated a clipboard in front of her.

She and Chrysalis were currently walking through one of Castle Canterlots long corridors. (there were rumors going around that the corridors formed an ancient magical seal that enhanced Celestia’s powers (which of course were wrong. The real reason was vaguely related to freshly waxed floors and the royal sock collection))

“The orange and the pink one right?” Chrysalis inquired trying to decipher the diagrams and checklist the purple unicorn was carrying around.

“Yes. As I said those two will be in charge of the catering and I think they will need some help with finding out what is edible for changelings.” Twilight replied.

Chrysalis nodded. While changelings were able to eat most anything that ponies could eat, they still had their own preferences.

“So those two are cooks?” She asked her guide/secretary.

“Uhm, something like this.” Twilight replied, chuckling nervously which earned her an inquisitive look from the changeling queen. “Applejack is an apple farmer but her family also prepares the apples to sell them and Pinkie Pie is an apprentice baker, but she has a lot of experience with hosting parties.”

Chrysalis face contorted for a moment before she replied: “I bet they’re up for the task if you have chosen them.”

Twilight grinned as she heard the changeling putting this much trust in her. She turned to the royal besides her and grinned widely: “I bet they will do everything in their power to make this the best wedding ever.”

Chrysalis gave her a hesitant grin before she turned towards the kitchen, hiding the scepticism in her eyes from the little purple unicorn.

---

Applejack and Pinkie Pie looked at the ingredients that were spread on the table before them. It hadn’t been long after dawn when a changeling had visited them in the kitchen, bringing with him an assortment of Changeling foods.
The apple farmer took a long look at the spread out roots, bulbs and flowers, none of which seemed familiar to her. Hadn’t she been told that this was supposed to be edible she would have thought that she had stumbled across Zecora’s potion ingredients. Hesitantly she picked up a spindly, black plant, biting off a small piece.
Her face went through a couple of motions, that were normally reserved for the physics defying Pinkie Pie, before she spat out the rest of the horrible tasting weed.

“How are we supposed to cook anything with this?” She asked the pink mare across the table.

Pinkie Pie was currently busy examining a small colourless bulb. Not white, colourless as in ‘see through’. She oohed and aahed as she waved her vibrantly coloured hoof behind the strange vegetable. Finally after she grew bored of her new plaything, she took a hearty bite out of it.

The effects were as immediate as they were drastic. Instantly the pink party mare deflated, her mane and tail went flat, and even her normally brilliant pink fur seemed to dull.
Applejack rolled her eyes, went over to the depressed pink filly and patted her on the back, causing the rest of the transparent bulb to shoot from Pinkie’s mouth.
Instantly she perked back up, returning to her normally energetic self.

“What the...” A perturbed looking changeling queen stood in the door to the kitchen, eyeing the pink pony suspiciously.

“Don’t ask.” Twilight said, her voice leaving no doubt that she had learned this lesson through hard earned experience.

“So, Ah’m affraid we don’t really have an idea what to do with all this stuff.” Applejack said to the newcomers, waving at the assorted vegetables.

“I guess I could show you how to prepare one or two dishes.” Chrysalis approached the table and looked at what she would have to work with.

“Ya know how to cook?” Applejack looked at the queen obviously surprised by this revelation.

“Is there something wrong with that?” The changeling queen asked, raising her eyebrows slightly. She took a knife out of it’s block and balanced it on her hoof.

“But you’re all princessy and stuff. Don’t you have people to do this for you?” Pinkie Pie burst into the conversation. Chrysalis startled and send the knife flying through the kitchen, until it embedded itself in the wall.
She scowled at the pink pony, but answered nonetheless: “My father always thought it important that we can take care of herself.”

Directly after she had spoken the words, Chrysalis regretted them. She braced herself for the question that was sure to come.

“So ya’ve got a family back home waiting for ya?” The orange farmpony drawled.

“No, they are missing...” Chrysalis replied. Her tone made it obvious that this was the only thing she was going to say about the topic.

“Ah’m sorry to hear that.” Applejack said sincerely. “Ah know what’s it like ta lose family.”

The queens features hardened even further, but only for a moment before she sighed and spoke up again: “It’s all right, I’ve got all my changelings to take care of, I’m not alone.”

“Anyway,” Chrysalis said, her tone suddenly suspiciously cheerful, “I think I wanted to show you how to cook, right?”


Twilight stood a little away from the three cooks. She had already felt Celestia’s love for the changeling queen, but slowly she began to understand where it came from.

---

Six ponies and two immortal beings once again shared the “small” dining hall, as the evening approached. It had been a busy day for all of them, and it showed. For two of them however there was still something left to do.

The few remaining servants entered the room, each of them carrying a covered plate. One after another they sat them down in front of the confused looking ponies. When everything was settled. Applejack grabbed a spoon and hit her glass a few times, until she had everponies attention.

“Me and Pinkie whipped up something special for the evening...” She began to say, only to be interrupted by Pinkie Pie.

“Ooh, ooh, can I say it?” She chimed energetically, while practically hovering in Applejack’s face.

The orange farmpony rolled her eyes but chuckled heartily at the same time.

“Sure knock yarself out.” She replied.

“Sooo, me and Applejack tried to cook something good for changelings, but the ingredients were all nasty and blargh, and so we didn’t know what to do, but Chrysi is a great cook, and her parents are missing, and she helped us cooking, and at first it didn’t turn out that well, but now we are getting better with it, and it took us all day, but we finaly cooked something super duper tasty, but we didn’t have anybody to test it for us, and so we thought that we would share it with our super duper most bestest friends ever and here we are.” Pinkie blurted out.

For a few moments the table was silent, while seven brains were busy replaying the blur of words in slow motion. Pinkie looked at them grinning expectantly.

“What Pinkie is trying to say is; dig in.” Applejack said, while the servants revealed the dishes that had waited under the covers.

Reactions were mixed at first. Even when prepared properly and arranged to please the eye, the strange vegetables still remained very foreign and some even repulsing. Only after Applejack and Pinkie went ahead and started eating, the others followed suit.

Twilight looked at her meal apprehensively. It was a stew of sorts but the liquid had an dark nearly oily texture to it, that rang several warning bells in the unicorns head. After a while she closed her eyes vowing to just get over with it quickly.
The smell came as a surprise. From the way it looked, Twilight had expected an equally foul odour but instead a rich spicy aroma hit her nostrils. She opened her eyes again, but the stew on her plate was the only thing that could be responsible for the smell, that had her mouth watering.

Her curiosity piqued grabbed a spoon with her levitation. Held up close the dish still hadn’t gained any attractiveness but taking another whiff of the enticing aroma it emitted, Twilight fought down her repulsion and took a first bite.

Twilight sat still for a moment. A second spoonful found it’s way into the scholarly ponies mouth. And then another and another, until finally Twilight found herself lapping up the remains of the soup stock from her plate.

It took her a few moments to remember her manners and with a slight blush she sat the plate down on the table again, but much to her relief she could see that the other Element-bearers had eaten with a gusto that rivalled her own.

Pinkie and Applejack shared the smile of artists that had just received a good critique.

Twilight found herself strangely excited as a second course was brought into the room. This time a sort of grain pulp with a side of steamed vegetables was served. With the initial barrier broken, the eight pony like creatures dug in immediately, devouring the meal that was sat before them with even more vigor than the first one. Not soon after content sighs filled the room, as ponies and changelings alike enjoyed a satisfying feeling of fullness.

But Applejack and Pinkie had yet another trump to play. With the help of three groaning stallions a truly massive cake was carried into the dining hall. Like all the creations so far it was strangely coloured, and the decorations had a very alien feel to them, but incited by their previous experience, four ponies and two immortal beings smacked their lips at the sight of the sugary treat.

Quickly plates were handed out, and the cake was evenly distributed between them. Quickly the ponies exchanged expectant glances before the simultaneously took a bite out of the desert.

---

Dull Blade enjoyed his job. Sure guarding the royal bathrooms might not have been the most glorious of all tasks, but he didn’t mind. The pay was good, he got to wear a impressive armor, and best of all, there never happened anything interesting. He allowed a small content smile to break through his ‘stoic guard’-face.

Dull Blade flicked his ears. What was that? Had he just heard shouting from the end of the hallway? Nah, couldn’t be nobody ever came to this part of the castle.
Hmm, there it was again. A bit uneasily Dull Blade glanced around searching for the source of the disturbance.

Suddenly an avalanche of ponies skidded around the corner. The unassuming guardspony found himself face to face with a horde of five ponies, one goddess, and a changeling queen, all of which had sickly coloured faces and were heading straight for the door behind him.

Quickly he remembered his training days, and did the only thing that a upstanding and honorable guard like him could do in such a situation. He screamed like a little girl and covered on the floor.

Pinkie Pie was sitting in the dining hall. Apparently all of her friends were playing a new game, and nobody had bothered to tell her the rules. Normally that would have upset her a lot, she didn’t like being excluded, gladly today was different.

“Well, more cake for me.” She chimed before taking another bite of her desert.

---

Spike looked down into the abyss below him.

Yesterday had been a very educational day.

His hands were wrapped tightly around the black iron bars.

In fact he had learned several things.

He didn’t really want to stare into the blackness below him, but currently he was being crammed against the bars which rendered him practically immobile.

The first thing he had learned was, that while he might have been a dragon, baby dragons apparently didn’t share the legendary constitution of their fully grown brethrens.

He tried to wiggle his legs into a more comfortable position, but only succeeded in making the cage swing at the end of it’s long iron chain.

The second thing he learned, was that consuming huge amounts of ethanol is a big no go, for creatures whose core temperature was high enough to be able to breath fire.

High above them the black dodecahedron of the changeling city could be seen.

The third thing that he learned was, that the mixed guard of the changeling city enforced the law swiftly and thoroughly, especially when it came to arson.

“Guys. If I ever ask you to buy me a drink again, I want you to smack me up the head.” He growled towards his three companions that were currently sharing his uncomfortable position. The three changelings agreed wholeheartedly.

Author's Note:

Spike's new theme song:

And I finally broke through my writers block. Overall I like this chapter a lot better, than I thought I would, might even be my favourite one so far.