- Chapter 4 -
"Back to School"
or
"The part wherein Pipsqueak has to deal with Diamond Tiara."
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"Alright, now you did remember to go to the bathroom, right? It's a long flight by chariot to Ponyville, after all." inquired Luna, nudging Pipsqueak onto one of her less… morbidly decorated chariots. Rather than the mess of spikes that was her chariot from Nightmare Night, it was a chariot similar in build to what Princess Celestia might ride in, except it was predominantly purple with silver trim.
"Yes, mum." replied Pipsqueak for what he felt was the thousandth time, still unable to wipe off the smile upon his face upon waking; today would be his first day back to school, in Ponyville no less! Much to Celestia’s surprise, and to Blueblood’s consternation, Pipsqueak had expressed his wish to continue his schooling in Ponyville, as he did not feel comfortable with the idea of attending any one of the prestigious private schools that his mother would no doubt be able to get him in to.
Although, the poor colt would have to suffer through remembering to wake at the crack of dawn, just as Luna would lower the moon and Celestia would raise the sun. Fortunately, (or unfortunately, in the young colt's mind…) Blueblood had suggested that they start waking him up a week or two before he would start attending school again. So, young Pipsqueak had been greeted by the tired smile of a butterscotch colored Pegasus guard with a blue mane that had the misfortune of dealing with the cranky colt for the first week. For the second week, he was expected to rise on his own, and though he was slow to wake for the first few days, soon enough his body had adjusted to his new sleep schedule and no longer felt tired upon waking.
So, the colt sat next to his mother, struggling to contain his excitement at seeing his schoolmates again. Though he would unfortunately be in a new class, it was a class taught by none other than Miss Cheerilee, whom he was already familiar with. In that class were Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo, otherwise known as the Cutie Mark Crusaders, a name, though innocent sounding, inexplicably filled the Lunar Diarch with dread, for reasons beyond even her comprehension. Despite having to deal with her son’s excited jabbering, and preventing him from hopping right out of the chariot from his jittering no more than twice, the chariot ride had gone by quicker than Luna had expected.
Luna saw Pipsqueak off, and by "saw him off", she ran through a checklist, oh-so-generously provided by a certain purple-maned alicorn. After double AND triple-checking that he had the supplies he needed, Luna gave him a hug that she was all to hesitant to release him from, relenting only when the bell had sounded. When the door of the schoolhouse closed, Luna released a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding, and turned to her two ever-faithful Night Guards, who could only offer their Princess a sympathetic smile. In desperate need of a pick-me-up, Luna and her two escorts went to the one place where anything that could turn a frown upside-down was made; Sugarcube Corner, home to Ponyville's finest confections and sugary treats. After being greeted by the always energetic Pinkie Pie, who had stopped jabbering long enough to take the trio’s order, Luna sat down; one guard on either side of her at a table in the corner of the room, politely (but firmly) declining the several offers of tea from Mr. and Mrs. Cake.
Finally, Luna looked to one of her guards, and spoke.
"Why do you think he finally decided to call me 'mom'?" she asked, gazing at the light fixture in the middle of the ceiling.
The guard was vexed. Not only had the question been, quite frankly, out of left field, but he hadn't been a child for ages. No longer could he discern why a child would do the things in the manner they did, no longer could he understand what went through a child’s mind, and that saddened him, if only a little.
"I couldn't say, Your Highness." He said finally. Luna looked at him, in the hopes that perhaps he in fact could, but hung her head in defeat when the guard offered her a noncommittal shrug. Sensing the princess' distress, the other guardspony chose that moment to speak up, in an attempt to lift whatever weight was on the mare's mind.
"Well, whatever the case, Princess… he still called you his mom, right? Shouldn't matter why he did it, because the point is that he did. He sees you as his mother, simple as that." The second guard paused, and laughed sheepishly, running a hoof along the back of his neck. "Eh heh… sorry 'bout that. I was just thinkin' out loud, is all."
"No no… that's quite alright." replied Luna, smiling. He was right, after all; the how and why didn't matter all that much in the face of the fact that he did. He saw her as his mother, and yet she had been so worried that he might not accept her as such had weighed so heavily upon her mind that the act hadn’t completely registered in her mind, as frighteningly adorable as the proclamation had been when he'd actually called her that. She was his mother… his mom; he said so himself. The Princess' smile grew wider, finding great joy in that simple fact. She was brought out of her reverie when Pinkie Pie appeared before the trio, balancing a great big box of doughnuts on her head, her ever-present gleaming grin threatening to split the pink mare's face in half.
"Well looks like I didn't need to bust out any Decorations for a 'Cheer up, Princess!' party after all! Which is kinda sad because I missed an opportunity for a party, but that just means the next time I get to throw a party, I can put twice as much energy into making that party as superly-duperly splendoriffic as possible!" she said, the words practically tumbling out of her mouth. Without missing a beat, the mare continued, not giving Luna or her guards a chance to speak up.
"Let's see here, an order of two dozen doughtnuts, charged to the Royal Accounts by her Royal Mooniness herself. We got four maple bars, four chocolate éclairs, four jelly-filled doughnuts, four chocolate frosted doughnuts with sprinkles, four double chocolate doughnuts, and finally, four Boston Crème doughnuts!" she said, smiling. "WOW that’s a lot of chocolate! I like chocolate too! It’s so sweet and yummy, and mmfrmfmmph!"
Pinkie blinked, realizing that her mouth had two hooves clamped down upon her mouth, preventing her from telling the Princess just how much she loved chocolate, and candy and all sorts of sugary treats in general, the hooves in question belonging to her bosses, the Cakes.
"S-Sorry about that, Your Highness. P-P-Pinkie is… easily excited." stammered out Mr. Cake, laughing nervously.
"No need for apologies, good sir. Miss Pinkie Pie's exuberance is quite entertaining." Replied Luna, the box of doughnuts held in her magical grasp, wreathed in a deep blue aura. Plucking a Boston Crème from the box, she took a bite, and chewed eagerly.
"Mmm… quite delicious." She said, licking a dab of cream from her chin in a rather un-princess-like manner. "It seems Donut Joe has some excellent competition out here in Ponyville."
"You humble us with your words, Princess." said Mrs. Cake, bowing far lower than she probably needed to, an act which Pinkie had tried to mimic, only for her head to meet with the floor. As Pinkie wobbled around, dazed from the impact, Luna could only laugh and shake her head.
"Humble and skilled Pâtissiers, to boot. I'm impressed." said Luna, chuckling softly. "I'm glad I made the right choice in coming here. Alas, I cannot stay, for I must attend to my duties in Canterlot. However, I shall return when school lets out for the day, to pick up my dear Pipsqueak. Perhaps then we shall return for more of your delicious confections."
"Sounds great Princess! How many doughnuts can we put you down for then, huh?" asked Pinkie, her nose pressed to Luna’s, only to be dragged away by both Cakes, who were chuckling nervously, and as Pinkie was being dragged upstairs, she called out to the Princess one last time. "I'll go ahead and bake up an extra special batch for the two of you just in caaaaaaaase…!"
With that out of the way, Luna and her Night Guards returned to the chariot outside, readying themselves to return to Canterlot for a while longer, then it was back to Ponyville for Luna, so she could pick up Pipsqueak. As the chariot flew through the skies of Equestria, her mental promise to save some doughnuts for Celestia seemed harder and harder to keep with every passing second…
"Just one more doughnut couldn't hurt… Right?"
Several miles away from Princess Luna and her increasingly difficult battle against temptation, Pipsqueak had run into a spot of trouble, as it were. Many a foal in Ponyville Elementary knew of Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, and the wicked reputation they carried, so why in the world were those two being so nice to him? It made even less sense because all of the other times that he had interacted with the two fillies, they treated him as less than the dirt under their hooves. Deciding that clamming up all clam-like would get him nowhere, he decided to speak up.
"Pardon me, ladies, but if I may ask somethin' of the two of you… What's the deal?" he said, tilting his head to the side, his poor little puzzler working overtime. "Normally, you two wouldn't even breathe in my direction, on account'a me bein' a blank flank an' all. So what gives?"
Diamond Tiara let out a nasally, condescending laugh, which seemed to be the only sort of laugh she could make, and tossed her mane aside, an action which her friend Silver Spoon hastily mimicked, only to stumble as she struggled to keep her glasses from flying off of her snout.
"Us? Tease you? Psshhh… Don’t be silly, Pumpernickel!" she said, giving him the smarmiest smile she could manage.
"Pipsqueak." He returned flatly, a slight frown forming on his features.
"Right, Pipbuck. That's what I said." replied Diamond Tiara, not missing a beat, only causing Pipsqueak's frown to deepen. "Anyway, why don't you come and play with us for a while? I'm sure Silver Spoon and I would be able to show you a much better time than any of these foals on the playground."
Pipsqueak pondered on their offer as he gazed about the playground. Fillies and colts were playing hopscotch, jump-rope, going on wild imaginary adventures with the play structures, while the most fun one could expect from the two fillies hounding him was a tea party. Just because he was from Trottingham didn't mean he liked tea, after all. That's just so darn stereotypical!
"As riveting as it would be to enjoy a spot of tea with the two of you, I'm afraid I must decline. Those three look like they're having a far more enjoyable time on that rocket-ship over there." He said, pointing in the direction of the Cutie Mark Crusaders, who could be seen laughing and playing on the jungle gym. Diamond Tiara could only look on in horror (and Silver Spoon in mild surprise) as Pipsqueak made it clear he did NOT want to play with the both of them. One could literally count down to the point where she would inevitably burst… which was right about now.
"What?!" she screeched, shoving her snout against Pipsqueak's, her eyes the size of pinpricks. "You're telling me, Diamond Dazzle Tiara, that you'd rather hang out with those no-name, no-talent BLANK FLANK losers, the Cutie Mark Crusaders over us?!"
"Well… yeah." said Pipsqueak, shrugging. "And it's not so much that I'd rather play with them over the both of you… I'd rather play with them over just you, Diamond Tiara. You're not exactly the nicest filly in school, not to mention you bully your own friend into doin' what you want to do, which isn't how friends should act." If that wasn't enough to get the filly red in the face, what Pipsqueak said next probably was.
"… Not to mention, yer bein' a bit hypocritical, what with sayin' you'd like ta play with me, even though I'm a blank flank, even though you hate th' Crusaders fer th' same reason. I can't help but think you've got one of them… ulterior motives or whatever ya call 'em, or somethin' like that." he said, scratching his head. "Point is that yes, I'd rather hang out with th' Crusaders over you."
As Pipsqueak ran off to join the three fillies in their spacefaring adventures, Diamond Tiara stood there, an expression of absolute rage on her face. Silver Spoon, sensing an inevitable meltdown, wisely backed away (to the other side of the schoolyard) before the ensuing eruption.
"Miss Cheerilee-heee-hee-HEEeee!" she half-screeched and half blubbered, tears streaming down her face. Pipsqueak could only look on from the jungle gym, a sinking sensation forming in the pit of his stomach.
"Cor blimey. I just didn't want to play with her. Didn't think she'd take it so hard…"
As a matter of fact, Diamond Tiara hadn't taken it as hard as Pip had theorized. Despite her initial plan of getting in cozy with the newest Prince of Equestria failing miserably, she could always get his blank little flank in trouble. Work up some tears, make her voice sound whiny (Well, no more than usual…) and complain to the biggest softie in the whole school, who just so happens to be her teacher, and presto, one little prince in TONS of trouble.
… Or so she thought. Rather than take the side of the crying filly, she had asked Pipsqueak for his side of the story, and even brought in witnesses, including the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and even her own best friend, Silver Spoon! That momentary spark of hope for Diamond Tiara was immediately and thoroughly dashed when the filly that she thought was her friend had testified against her, further implicating her as the one who was truly in the wrong. Not only had she admitted to Diamond Tiara's constant attempts to bully her into doing what she wanted, she also told Cheerilee and the others of the time when she threatened to not be her friend anymore during one of the few times Silver Spoon had suggested she and the Crusaders play together.
While that "dumb blank-flank wannabe prince" as she referred to Pipsqueak in her mind, only got off with a verbal warning, she had to stay inside for the remainder of recess, and write "Coercion is not the right way to make or keep friends." on the blackboard twenty times! By the time she was finally finished, not even one minute was left of recess, and no sooner had she stepped outside had the bell rung, and she begrudgingly shuffled back inside, having been thoroughly humiliated. Throughout the rest of the day, not a single foal would even bother to glance in her direction, not even her former best friend, Silver Spoon. When the bell that signaled the end of the school day finally rang, she was all too glad to finally be out of there. This day, Pipsqueak had made a terrible enemy. Nopony crossed Diamond Dazzle Tiara, NOPONY!
Of course, the young pinto colt was blissfully unaware of said filly’s declaration of antagonism towards him, as he busied himself by playing with the Crusaders as he waited for his mother to arrive. When Luna eventually arrived in Ponyville for the second time that day, she had come to find her son coated in sap, along with a variety of foliage and twigs. Of course, despite his "sticky situation", he looked positively giddy as he showed off his brand new (and miraculously unharmed) red cape, marking him as the newest member of the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and had the prestigious honor of being the first male Crusader to be inducted in their ranks, and appointed the leader of the Canterlot branch of the Cutie Mark Crusaders.
Of course, upon returning to the castle, and eventually into Blueblood's line of sight, the stallion fainted then and there upon seeing Pipsqueak in such a dirty and disheveled state. Despite the novelty in seeing Blueblood react like a mare would to a mouse in her kitchen, Pipsqueak did need a bath, lest he start sticking to the expensive curtains in the halls. As Luna took it upon herself to bathe Pipsqueak on her own, much to the consternation of the castle hoofmaidens who simply wished to do their duty, and perhaps have some innocent bathtime fun with the young prince.
I'll give you all a moment to get your minds out of the gutter…
…
Are you done?
Okay, good. Let's continue, shall we?
Anyway, once Pipsqueak's bathtime was finished, and both Luna and the young colt dried themselves off following an impromptu water fight that quickly escalated into an all-out war, which was cut short by a sharply worded lecture by Kibitz, one of Celestia's oldest and wisest advisors, sufficiently cowing the both of them. Eventually, the sun had set, and the moon had risen, and it was time for dinner. Pipsqueak ate his Fettuccine Alfredo with broccoli with as much gusto as possible without completely grossing out Blueblood, who managed to keep a straight face as he watched Pipsqueak devour his meal, for once. Luna listened attentively as the young colt recounted his day, making a mental note to keep an eye upon this Diamond Tiara and her dreams, especially if she held animosity towards her son. Celestia simply gave her sister a look that said "I know your heart is in the right place, but please try not to go overboard…"
Luna simply shrugged, and resumed eating her dinner, trying and failing at suppressing a chuckle as Pipsqueak elaborated on the events that led up to his sap-related accident, whereas Celestia openly laughed, and Blueblood came dangerously close to cracking a smile at the absurdity of it all. Even old Kibitz, as stoic as the mustachioed stallion was, chortled heartily as Pipsqueak told his story regarding the Crusaders' latest attempt to earn their Cutie Marks that he had involved himself with, and his animated approach to storytelling. With their bellies full, and cheeks colored from laughter, dinner had ended on a high note for both Luna and Pipsqueak. Once Pipsqueak was put to bed, Luna kissed her son on the forehead, and quietly closed the door behind her. Making sure nopony was watching, her horn began to emit a soft blue glow…
Meanwhile, back in Ponyville, all was peaceful in the slumbering hamlet… for a few more seconds, anyway. A piercing shriek resounded throughout the area, followed by loud, hiccupping sobs, a trembling filly's voice telling her father of a nightmare, involving the dreaded Nightmare Moon gobbling the poor filly’s flanks, leaving them bare, and legions of faceless ponies calling her a "blank flank' and a 'talentless nobody'. It was roughly an hour before the filly’s concerns were assuaged, and her mind put at ease by her beleaguered, half-asleep father.
Luna opened her eyes, the glow of her horn finally dimming. Chuckling softly, she continued down the hall to her quarters, a slight spring in her step.
'There,' she thought. 'Perhaps that will scare her straight.'
That was bloody fantastic. Worth the wait, in my opinion.
HUZZAH! UPDATE! THREE CHEERS!
Now, onto the chapter itself...
Fits perfectly. Luna in Ponyville works great, Diamond of course would try to cozy up to the new Prince only for Pip to still be Pip and smart, and Luna is an overprotective mother. And Blueblood is starting to warm up to Pip.
Oh yes, it is here!!! Take your time with them and don't rush. The important thing is that they're coming, right?
Now then... Diamond Tiara...
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Yes, I think they are all right.
And to the tea... I'm with Pip. I hate the damn stuff, and coffee. Means I never have to make the brews at home or work!
Don't drink 'em, don't make 'em.
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!
This was a sweet, cute chapter. And seeing Diamond Tiara get taken down a dozen notches made the wait worth it.
As much as I would try and ask you to 'Hurry it up!' that's not nice to you or anyone else.
What I can ask though is, please keep this wonderfully quality and wonderfully silly story going, even if it takes a while to get chapters out.
I DO love how you've given him quite the fun and adventurous personality or rather, expanded upon it.
Yeah I wasn't serious about the hurry it up. XD. Writers need their lives as much as anypony else or one else.
So, I will say this.
Take care of yourself, have fun in life and when you get the chance of some free time and you want to grace a page for this fun story, I'd appreciate it as would many others who enjoy this story. Most of all though as said, take care of YOU.
Thanks for the story. ^^
I await the next update.
I was going to say that it was a great chapter, more than worth the wait.
But with so much others to say it, doing so might go to your head, so… I just gonna think it.
I have to admit I'd lost hope but it was well worth the wait. I went in hoping for Diamond Tiara to have a Nightmare Moon encounter and left quite satisfied. Plus this is now one of four fics I've encountered that's had Blueblood be something close semi-decent. Keep up the good work.
Piss off not the Goddess of the Night because she has ways of getting to you that no amount of money can block.
I like. But it seemed a bit rushed. i think the first day back to school should of been at least 2 chapters long. I mean after recess the whole chapter just seemed to speed by with everything.
3774442 Yeah, I suppose you're right about that, but at best, I probably could have only been able to stretch out the part regarding his return to school for the rest of the chapter... maybe. I'm going to have more school-focused chapters, though, so don't go thinking I won't deliver on that front... eventually, anyway.
Holy shit. You're still alive. AND SO IS THE STORY!!!
Loved the cameo, although I would have preferred little Tibbles to ol' busybody Kibitz. Then again, it would be harder to explain an opossum than a member of the palace staff...
glad to see you're still kicking!
43 weeks I think. Let make a deal, post the next chapter in 40 weeks or less and I will not hunt you down and chain you to a keyboard ;)
S'okay. Sorry story's still fun, just glad to see an update.
I am kinda lucky since i just read the story for the first time a couple days ago. Thanks great story
Nice to see you are still with us. Glad we don't have another 'end of ponies' over here with this cute little fic.
"I’ll give you all a moment to get your minds out of the gutter…
…
Are you done?
Okay, good. Let’s continue, shall we?"
Priceless
I think Luna might be going a bit over the top with her treatment of Diamond Tiara getting her in her dreams is a rather cruel and unusual punishment.
I wonder if Silver Spoon might just like Pip just a little.
Heh, go Luna. There isn't a mother who wouldn't do that if they could.
It's alive!
Aamazing chapter, although I did see one mistake. Your characters were spot-on and fun to experiance, as well as your narrator. Although the 'bathtime fun' part was a bit hampering to the chapter's flow.
I liked the chapter, especially the part where even the mention of the Cutie Mark Crusaders scares Luna for some reason. And wasn't Twilight a unicorn two chapters ago?
I C WAT U DID DERE.
Ah yes. THAT was why I faved this fanfic.
Hoping we'll see more soon.
*queues Attack on Titan theme song*
I originally thought Pipsqueak would end up in one of those snob Canterlot schools and face this kind of the treatment, if not being bullied. I guess Diamond Tiara is plenty a snob for all of Ponyville. Very worth the wait.
Aww, Luna that was mean! She might be a jerk but nightmares suck. She better hope Celestia doesn't find out she misused her powers, even if she had good reasons. Anyway, great to see this updated and take your time on the next ones.
Final note, I really liked the way the opening of this chapter was written when they went to SCC, having narration explain what dialogue could have made time pass much quicker for me.
3774327
In some ways. He's going to hate that Pip's going to be more popular than him when Pip grows up, though...
I enjoy how you portrayed DT
3774410
I can point you to several others if youd like
3775072
I love your avatar.
Walking on sunshine, hey hey. HaHaHa
HAH YEAH GO LUNA
Still a great story, two dozen staches for you.
3774337
Seconded, though iced coffee's not that bad at least, I don't think.
Tea, though, damn tea.... I come close to vomiting when I smell the stuff. And ginger tea, man, that's the worst (Bias due to childhood experiences involviing puke and horrific embarrassment maybewithstanding).
Excellent chapter, but I found two things you may want to edit.
You may want to delete the space between the "h" and the "e".
You missed the "d" at the end of "Diamond".
Glad I fav'd this, id say this gives me hope that alot of other good fics out there arnt dead. But I doubt that.
Keep it up, but dont burn yourself out :3
3774973 which is probably why most mothers don't come with that powerset...
It nice to see that this story isn't dead. Awesome chapter by the way. GO LUNA!!!!
Luna, teaching foals NOT to mess with her son since... Well, since this chapter.
Great story by the way! Your Prize is a complimentary Pinkie Pie! Keep it up!
It's a shame that one even has to do this sort of thing. Little word of suggestion, though: Perhaps you should put comments like that in the author's notes as footnotes. It helps to preserve the immersion...
Good to see you keeping this story alive.
When do we get to see Cadence and Shining Armour introduced to Pip?
I almost had a heart attack when I got the email this updated at work! And a brilliant chapter no less
I do hope you can find more time to update this as it's very rapidly becoming one of my all time faves
Well... at least it is alive!
You wish. That kind of thing would require actual brains to happen, and I doubt she has enough of them to spare.
NEW CHAPTER!!!
This calls for a P A R T Y!!
HELL YES! AN UPDATE!
This was indeed worth the wait. How the characters interact with each other is great and well done.
Also I have to admit something that picture of Nightmare Moon biting Diamond Tiara flank....pretty gruesome I LIKED IT!
Neat, a new chapter. I thought this was dead.
And that's how you deal with a brown noser.
3776618 hey did you comment a million times on falling skies?