Chapter 4: The Players
Chapter 4: The Players
أَلا إِنَّهُمْ هُمُ الْمُفْسِدُونَ وَلَـكِن لاَّ يَشْعُرُونَ
“Are they not indeed the mischief-makers? But they perceive not.” Baqarah 12
Amelia
Soft light and a soft bed greeted me when I came to. Sighing, I smashed my face into the pillow, wishing the dream could have lasted a little longer. My fight with Daphne, the meeting with the Morgwyn, the trip with the goblins, and the feeling of my hooves all threatened to fade away. Disappointment gnawed at me. It was so unfair, having to wake up.
A whiff of cinnamon and apples nearly made my toes curl as I lifted my head. It was so tantalizing I could have floated off the bed and followed the scent all the way downstairs. Eager, I swung my lower body off the bed. The rest of me tumbled to the floor when it turned out I had grossly overestimated how much force I would need to do that, almost as if I were a lot smaller than I should have been.
I thought back to when I had first woken up. Hooves?
Four legs—and four hooves—stretched out above me as I looked up to verify.
“It was real! It was all real!” I twisted and sprang back to my legs. A quick look around told me that I hadn’t woken in my own bed at home, either. Clambering back onto the star-patterned sheets, I stared around, drinking in the details. A round room with hardwood flooring and a pair of open, circular windows, sunlight flooding through, greeted me. The air that streamed in was crisp as a fresh spring morning. Plush ponies peeked out of a chest, and a dresser stood up between the windows.
Through the open door, that cinnamon scent was growing stronger, and I sprang off the bed. In my haste, I tumbled out into the hall and haphazardly navigated a flight of stairs, before spilling out onto a knit rug. It slid freely beneath me across the smooth floor, until I met a pair of pink legs with an audible thump.
“Hi!” The pony attached to them tilted her head down, a grin splitting her muzzle and a warm gleam in her blue eyes. Unlike me, her forehead was bare of a horn, and her hair was an explosive puff of darker pink still. More importantly, she effortlessly balanced a pie on her back, one that was giving off the most mouth-watering aroma of apple and cinnamon I could have imagined.
“You must be Amelia! I’m Pinkie Pie!” She helped me up with a hoof. “That looked fun! Can I take a turn on the rug, next?”
“Uh.” All I could do was stare, but Pinkie didn’t seem to mind.
“Oh, oh! I bet you haven’t tried out the swings yet!” She bounced up and down, grinning like a loon. “Of course you haven’t. You were asleep the whole time! You’ll have to try them out later. We’re going to have so much fun together! I’ll show you all the best places to go swimming and base jumping and where to get the yummiest snacks.”
It was difficult to follow along with the stream of rapid fire words, but I latched on to the one that was most important to me right then. “Did you say snacks?” At the mention of food, I was reminded that I hadn’t eaten since lunch yesterday.
“I sure did!” Pinkie Pie positively beamed—and here I thought her grin couldn’t get any bigger—as she backed into a table, letting the pie slide down. “I baked this special welcome pie just for you! Gosh, I figure you must be just so hungry.” She put a thoughtful hoof to her cheek and knit her brow a bit, losing a bit of her excitement but seeming no less friendly. “I know I was always hungry as a li’l filly.”
I let her gab on while I clambered up a stool. Briefly, I considered how to safely cut into the pie with my hooves, but the lack of any visible utensils on the table and the growing rebellion in my stomach drove me to the only logical solution.
“My grandmother said I’d eat her out of house and home, so I did! It wasn’t my fault that her house was made of gingerbread, was it? I mean, you’re kinda asking for it at that point. Don’t you think it would have been impolite not to at least try it?” Pinkie turned from her tangent to find me with my face shoved directly into the center of the pie. It was as delicious as my nose had promised me, and the bits of apple tartness warred with sugary sweetness to conquer my taste buds.
“Oh!” Pinkie giggled. “Good answer.”
When I had polished off the crust, she handed me a cloth, and I wiped my face on it, grinning at her. “So is this part of the castle?” I sat back down. Figuring out how to sit on a stool properly as a pony was a bit of a challenge, considering the way my butt was built. Leaning one foreleg on the table seemed to do the trick, so I continued to pepper the older pony with questions. “Are we eating pie for breakfast every day? Because that would be sweet. Can I ride you? Are there more ponies like us? What’s it like being so pink?”
“It’s not part of the castle,” Pinkie answered my first question, then charged through my others with abandon, adding, “sure you can—it would be sweet—yes, yes, and awesome! Hop on. I’ll show you!”
Pinkie Pie turned, and I hopped onto her back, grabbing her about the middle with all four legs. It was a good thing I did, too, because when she started bouncing out the door I nearly bounced right off her, lulling dangerously in the air for a moment before I tightened my grip. Dazzling sunlight met me as we left the house, the air warm and fresh, and I stared around like a tourist. Rolling, purple hills framed a valley of shocking green you would never see in New England and nestled a small town in their embrace. Brightly colored ponies of every description sauntered and trotted to and fro as if it were the most normal thing in the world.
“See? There’s the castle!” Pinkie ceased her bouncing to raise a hoof, and I sighted down it. At the tip of her hoof lay a jewel-like castle, clinging against the side of a great, far-off mountain.
It was so far off I had to squint to get a good look. “Wow, it looks a lot less dirty in this light.”
“Princess Celestia is really excited to meet you, but she’s always super, super busy, so she asked us to look after you for a little bit.” Pinkie waved her hoof around at the town. “She wanted us to show you everything there was to know about Equestria!”
“Us?” Blinking, I arched a brow. “Who is ‘us?’”
“Me and my friends, of course!” Pinkie replied blithely.
“My friends and I,” I corrected.
“Your friends? Oh, your friends are here, too? That’s so cool!” Pinkie hopped about in one place, bouncing off her hooves—and bouncing me along with her—like they were made of rubber. They might as well have been, given the way she moved around. “We’ll have to meet them later,” she decided once she came to a stop again. “My friends are over at Sugar Cube Corner. Hang on!”
There was hardly any chance to look around. It felt like we bounced halfway across town in just a half dozen jumps. Each “step” of her bounding gait ate up a ton of ground and made the town rock and heave at odd angles. It was all I could do just to hang on tight. Off in the distance, I dimly perceived a building that looked as though someone had dropped a cupcake off of a giant’s table. Then I was flying through the air, this time free of Pinkie’s back. Bracing for a hard landing, I pulled in my limbs and squeezed my eyes shut, only to find the ground late in coming.
When I opened them again, there was a haze of red light all around me that made it hard to see. Its touch was like silk, and it gently deposited me back on the ground. An immaculate white hoof offered itself to me. I took it and rose to find an elegant unicorn dusting off my mane.
“Oh, you poor dear,” she doted on me, while chastising my guide. “Pinkie Pie, is this any way to treat a guest?”
For a moment, the sight of her was almost too much to take in. Never had I imagined a creature that looked so flawless, with not a single speck blemishing her alabaster coat, nor was there a single strand of her violet mane out of place, curled elegantly down one side of her face. A delicately whorled horn adorned her and marked her as a unicorn like me. That I was beginning to think of other ponies as “like me” was a topic I could examine another time.
“It sure is a way, Rarity! This is Rarity.” Pinkie gestured to the white unicorn, grinning down at me. “She’s the best dressmaker in Equestria!”
“I hope you didn’t scramble her brains with that wild gallivanting about,” Rarity complained. “The poor dear looks simply flummoxed.” Her horn wrapped itself in ruby-red light, and the stray hairs about my face abruptly pulled themselves back. That light combed my mane into a semblance of order, letting it hang down past one shoulder. “There! Isn’t that better, dear?”
“Ooo, I could go for some scrambled brains right about now!” Pinkie gazed thoughtfully into the distance. At a look from the white mare, she amended, “Or scrambled eggs! Those would be good.”
“How are scrambled brains?” I asked at once, not about to let juicy information like that slide.
“Scrumptious!”
“Pinkie, please,” another feminine voice interrupted from inside the confectionery, “don’t fill her head with rubbish.” This one sounded aristocratic—almost too posh. It was the kind of voice that belonged to snooty librarians. “Why don’t you all come inside so she can meet the rest of us?”
“Sure thing, Princess! Come on inside. We’ve got breakfast and lots more goodies for you!” Pinkie Pie nudged my backside, and I darted in, only to collide with a rock-hard orange chest. A pair of hooves caught me as I rebounded, and a big grin under a cowboy hat greeted me.
“Shucks, she’s a rambunctious one! Just like we were told,” the new mare said as she prodded at me consideringly. She was heavily muscled, with corded limbs taut under her skin. “Of course, that ain’ nothin’ a few days good, honest labor won’t settle.”
“Applejack!” Rarity protested. “Honestly, the poor dear’s eyes are as wide as saucers already. She can’t take many more shocks.”
“Indeed. Clear aside, Applejack,” the aristocratic voice directed.
“Sure thing, Princess.” Applejack turned, but not entirely moving out of my way.
Seated at a table in the middle of the shop was a lavender pegasus with a series of stars on her flank, her wings held lightly to either side. A crown was seated on her head, nestled in her dark blue hair, and the horn rising over it left me a little confused as to what to call her. A unicorn? A pegasus? Both? Unlike the others, she was wearing a fine dress and gold shoes that protected her hooves. Her horn glowed dark red, like wine, and a teacup hovered to let her sip at it delicately.
“Oh hey, you must be the magical princess I was promised!” I bounded up to the table and planted my hooves on it to look up at her. Beside the princess sat another pegasus, her yellow wings tucked up at her sides and her pink hair half-hiding her face, but I ignored her in favor of the princess, my eyes intent.
“I cannot say what you were promised, young Amelia.” The pegasus-unicorn lowered her tea cup. “I am, however, a Princess of this realm, the newly coronated Princess Twilight Sparkle, bearer of the Element of Magic. I—”
“Oh, oh, can you teach me to do magic, then?” I interrupted at once, pushing myself a little further up the table. “I mean, seeing as how you’re the Element of Magic. Is that like being the element of boron, or maybe molybdenum?” My head twisted quizzically. “I kinda figured you’d have to be the element of carbon, but I think on Star Trek there was this monster that was made out of silicon. Is that why ponies seem so strong; are you silicon-based life forms?”
“I prefer to think of us as candy-based,” Pinkie interjected, confidently.
“So how do you do that with the thing with your tea cup, Ms. Twilight?” I demanded. Visions of floating Daphne through town, dangling upside down in her skivvies, floated through my head. “Is it sort of a hrng, pushing out with your brain like a TV psychic, or is it more of an om like a meditating monk?”
“All in good time, young Amelia,” Twilight assured me. “In addition, you must refer to me as Princess Twilight.”
“You may also refer to her as Princess, or Her Highness,” Rarity informed me with a little sweep of her hoof. “Now, where is the final member of our party?”
“Now, I thought we couldn’t find Rainbow Dash?” Applejack asked. The yellow pegasus hadn’t yet introduced herself, but the sweets were far too alluring to ignore any further. “I swear, if I could lay my hooves on that lazy good-for-nothin’…” she muttered, trailing off on a dire note.
“Well, duh.” Pinkie rolled her eyes. “It’s been a long time. I mean, I almost didn’t make it.”
With my face smooshed up against the glass of the display cases, I could almost taste the candy underneath. In the search for the latch, however, a newspaper left on the counter caught my attention—it seemed a little strange for there to be newspapers, but if they could have pies and stairs, why not newspapers, too? Half of it hung off the side, and the print wasn’t in any language I knew.
“No, no, it’s been taken care of,” Princess Twilight reassured the others. “She’s just getting ready now, I’m sure. I saw her on my way in. She looked fantastic.”
It was easier to page through once I’d dropped it on the floor. Most of the pictures were of the ponies in the room with me. There was one of Applejack sleeping on one page, and a picture of Pinkie Pie wearing a lampshade while dancing in a bowl of punch on another. Each page had detailed notes in a scrawling hand, written between the lines or around the photos in red ink. I started to turn another page when a yellow hoof slammed down on the newspaper and yanked it away.
The fifth, as-yet-unnamed mare quickly crumpled the newspaper into a tight ball with her forehooves and tossed it behind the counter. “Don’t take things that don’t belong to you!” It was odd to hear such a sweet tone sound so harsh, but she seemed to undergo a rapid and sudden personality shift right after that, as if her outburst had surprised her, as well. This sudden instability concerned me almost as much as the violent way she had taken away the papers. “Oh gosh, I’m so sorry.” She backed away, tucking her wings in tight. “It was my fault, really. I-I was reading it earlier, and I—”
The mare ducked her head into her voluminous pink hair and seemed to shrink, as if she intended on sinking right into the floor. “Oh, Fluttershy, you have such a temper,” she murmured to herself. There was just no helping it at that point. She just looked and sounded so hurt that it was impossible not to feel immediate pity.
Awkwardly, I patted her on the shoulder. It seemed like the best thing I could do. “There, there,” I said, though I couldn’t bring myself to look at her after that display. “It’s okay.”
Her spirits perked a tiny bit, and a meek little smile beamed up at me from behind her mane—that seemed to have done the trick. “I really should make it up to you. Maybe… maybe I could show you to my animals later!” She stood herself a little taller, her mane falling away a bit to reveal her face again. “I bet you would like a griffon ride. They used to scare me, but that was before Pinkie Pie showed me how to tame them.”
“How do you tame griffons?” Her outburst was quickly forgotten. I was entirely diverted now.
“Well, first you have to show them who’s boss by humiliating them, then you have to—”
“Hey!” a female voice protested from outside, sharp and annoyed. “Watch where you’re pushing. I know where I’m going!”
“Just get in there,” another, more muffled voice grunted. The front door opened, and a sixth and final mare was roughly pushed in, her blue wings flared aggressively.
Grumbling, the new pegasus dusted herself off, straightening her ragged, shoulder-length mane and her straight tail with a negligent sort of ease. For a moment, it was as though nothing else in the room existed. The pony was all sleek blue lines and feathers, covering tight, powerful muscles over a slender frame. None of the other mares had hair even remotely like hers, either, the colors of the rainbow arrayed in a spectral fan. Intense jealousy warred with sudden admiration within me, for she was the most sublime little horse I had ever seen.
“Sheesh, can’t a pony get a little respect around here?” she complained, looking around briefly. Rose eyes flickered through quick states of shock and amused surprise, taking in the scene. It seemed as though she was stunned by the others, her wings fluttering slightly at her sides before she closed them up.
“Consarnit, Rainbow Dash, took ya long enough to get here.” Applejack was the first to voice her complaints. “Where ya been all this time?”
There was an awkward beat. “Oh. I was just on my way back from Cloudsdale,” she answered at last, her tone somewhat stilted. “You know. Important weatherpony business. We can’t—” she paused again, as if having to process something unfamiliar, “—monopolize the world’s weather without good coordination.” Her eyes flickered towards a window. I glanced that way as well, and something quickly darted out of sight, like it knew we’d just caught sight of it.
“Oh! And who is this?” She pointed in my direction. “Is this our special guest? The one we’ve been waiting for?”
Now, I wasn’t stupid. There was a point somewhere along the line in this whole affair where I realized I was being put on in one way or another, even if I couldn’t quite put a hoof on it. Sure, she was the most incredible creature that had ever lived in appearance, but it sounded a whole lot like she was reading lines. Pinkie Pie was wincing noticeably, too, and Applejack looked about ready to strangle her.
Rainbow’s eyes flickered to the window again, my eyes following hers, but there was nothing outside but a tree, waving in the breeze.
“Oh, really?” I drew the word out skeptically. “I’m sure you can just tell me what it is you’ve all been waiting for, then.”
It looked as though the room might explode from tension. Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy exchanged panicked looks. Princess Twilight’s teacup rattled violently on its saucer. Rarity and Applejack looked towards the doors.
Rainbow Dash, for her part, froze completely. I snapped my gaze to the window, but she didn’t even look. Instead, she scuffed a hoof on the floor and laughed. “Aw, ponyfeathers. Alright, kid, you caught me,” she admitted, and trotted over. “I give up. I’ve got no idea what you’re here for, to give it to you straight, but I figure it’s some sort of surprise party.”
While the others gaped, she grinned, and extended a hoof. “Tell you what. Since you figured me out, how about I give you a ride, on the house?”
“Ride?” I inquired, arching a brow, while the tension blew out of the room. “I don’t know, Pinkie Pie gave me a ride here, and I think I lost a tooth.”
“Oh yeah? Guess it’s for the best, then,” she dismissed, flexing her wings. “You probably couldn’t handle it.”
“Nuh uh. I can handle anything you’ve got! You don’t look all that fast.”
Rainbow craned her neck back, narrowing one eye, a playful smirk on her face, as she poked me in the chest. “Fastest pony in Equestria, right here. You think you got what it takes? I’ll wring you like a towel.”
I got up in her face—as much as I could, anyway. “Bring it on!”
At her challenge, she ducked, and I clambered atop her much as I had with Pinkie Pie. Once all four of my feet had clamped down on her flanks, she flexed her wings out to their full extension, making a show of stretching.
There was no way she could fly very fast with wings that size, I thought. They were just too small in proportion to her body. Once we got outside she’d probably need to run halfway down the street to build up enough momentum—
My scream never caught up to us. It was probably still rattling the windows of the bakery by the time I was dangling three hundred feet off the ground, clinging to the pegasus above me for dear life. Rainbow Dash’s powerful body surged as she took me in a widening circle about the town, its roads and buildings stretching out above my head.
Her tail faded into a haze of rainbow light, marking our trail, and her forehooves were thrust forward boldly. The slightest twitch sent her soaring in an entirely different direction, with turns so sharp they left spots in my vision. By now, excitement had replaced shock and fright. Instead of fearful screaming, whoops of joy echoed off the rooftops.
At the peak of her ascent, Rainbow Dash flared her wings and hung suspended in the sky for three long breaths. Then she tilted, and fell, diving through clouds that puffed and exploded in her passage, sending gouts of rain tumbling after her. Flaring her wings one last time, she buffeted them into a fine mist that wrapped us in scintillating rainbow light as her hooves touched the earth.
“Oh my gosh you are the best pony ever!”
“Yeah,” Rainbow agreed, buffing a hoof on her coat. “I kinda am.”
* * *
It wasn’t until lunch before we were all together again. Most of the morning was spent exploring the town with Pinkie Pie, who was only too happy to give me the grand tour. The town was surprisingly tiny for a place run by horses; I would have thought that creatures that ran around on all fours would have preferred something a little more wide open and with fewer floors, but stairs weren’t an obstacle at all. Pinkie Pie instinctively seemed to know when I was losing interest, too, because she’d bring out a new pony to talk to or show me some new vista every time my attention drifted.
On the whole, though, I was starting to get the idea that something was a little strange. It occurred to me as we were all sitting down to eat at an open-air café that there hadn't been a single foal anywhere in Ponyville, aside from me. There had been a few older ponies, and some ponies who seemed to be middle-aged, but not a single one who was anywhere near my size or age.
“Twilight—” I started to ask.
“Princess Twilight, dear,” she corrected, cutting me off.
Rainbow Dash arched a brow and gave her a vacant glance. “What’s that about? Lay off her, Twi. She’s just a kid.”
Twilight glanced back at her. It wasn’t that she looked sour, but she did look a little annoyed, her regal smile narrowing. “Rainbow, I think I really ought to instill proper etiquette. She’s at a very impressionable age, and she shouldn’t be excused from learning her manners.”
A waiter was trying to get Rainbow Dash’s attention, rather forcefully attempting to shove an open menu into her hooves, but she swatted him away with a hoof and went on. “Not every pony grew up in the palace, Twilight, and, if she’s anything like me at that age, you’re just gonna bug her. Give it a rest.”
Twilight glanced around, first at me and then back to Rainbow Dash, then rubbed a hoof along her own foreleg. She sighed, but then smiled gently. “Rainbow…” she began, but her objection died in her throat as she caught Rainbow’s eyes. Twilight furrowed her brow, but her smile only widened as she gradually slumped forward, the tips of her wing reaching around to brush Rainbow’s back. Rainbow cast her gaze between the outstretched wing and Twilight herself, confused, but the other mare was already turning back to me. “I’m very sorry, Amelia. I shall not insist on the title if you do not wish to address me with it.”
“Sure thing, Twi,” I agreed at once, waving it off with a hoof.
Twilight winced but gave Rainbow Dash a tolerant smirk.
“Eh, it’s a lame title, anyway.” Rainbow shrugged, and brushed Twilight’s wing away with her own. “You’re not even the Princess of anything. Why make such a big deal out of it?”
Distracted, I contemplated telling the waiter I wasn’t hungry, but a rebellious rumble from my stomach informed me otherwise. Pinkie Pie giggled, whispering, “It’s the transformation. Eats your energy right up!”
“Short stack of waffles,” I informed the waiter. Promptly, I revised that, grabbing his sleeve. “On second thought, better make it a tall stack; with extra syrup and butter.”
“Don’t be so sour, Dashie,” Twilight chirped. It seemed as if her manner had changed completely, losing much of that uptight facade. She slid her chair over so she could be closer to the other girl, sliding her wing around her and pulling the both of them together. “I’m sorry I was so stuffy. Let’s just move on and have a nice lunch, all right?”
“Uh,” Rainbow Dash answered, tense. She pulled away from Twilight as much as she could on her chair. “Sure. Yeah.”
“Are you two always like this?” I asked, giving them an odd look.
“Oh yes,” Twilight lilted with a polite giggle, folding her wing back against her side. “Rainbow Dash and I are very close friends.”
It wasn’t long before I lost interest and decided to watch Fluttershy carefully rearrange the silverware. They stuck to her hooves as if she had suddenly become magnetic. “How did you do that?”
“Do what?” Fluttershy asked, in her quiet voice, looking to me attentively.
“Pick things up like that,” I clarified, pressing a hoof against a fork and failing to bring it up.
“Like this,” she told me, touching her hoof to her silverware again and carefully picking it up. “You just sort of have to press your hoof and squeeze sort of… it’s hard to explain, but you give it a little pressure.”
“Like suction?”
“A little.” Fluttershy nodded absently. “Give it a try.”
Pressing a hoof against the table, there was a gentle pull, and my hoof came up with the knife. The sensation at the end of my hooves was a little dull, but I could definitely feel it pressed there.
Fluttershy clapped her hooves together approvingly, sharing in my little triumph. “Good job! You picked that right up. Oh!” she suddenly exclaimed. “I almost forgot. If it’s not too much trouble, I wanted to introduce you to my animals later today.”
“Animals?” I asked, curiously, and a niggling thought pricked my brain, making me realize I had half-forgotten something. It was on the tip of my tongue. “What kind of animals?”
“Lots of kinds,” she said, her quiet voice stuck between anxiety and excitement. “I take care of them, you know. The poor dears just wouldn't know what to do without me. I've got cute little bunnies and sweet little birdies and kitties. You know, all sorts of precious little—
I cut her off. “Boring. Do you have any snakes or insects?”
“I—snakes or insects?” Fluttershy asked, looking at me in wide-eyed bewilderment. “Wouldn't you rather see a nice, cuddly otter?”
This pegasus seemed to have entirely the wrong idea. There was a whole world of awesome creatures out there, and yet it seemed everyone thought little girls should only be interested in the cuddly, cute ones. Just to be polite, I chewed it over with my waffles, which were about as fluffy as the bunnies promised to be.
“Nah. While I would like to see an otter crack open an abalone on its tummy, I was wondering if you had something, well, cooler. Don’t you have any neat reptiles or insects?”
“I—reptiles, insects?” she asked me, then looked over to the others. “I, well…”
Bemused, Rainbow Dash supplied, “Didn’t you have a wasp a while ago, and did you ever find a yellow-striped bat?”
“Yellow-striped bat?” I parroted at Fluttershy, wide-eyed. Maybe this pony wasn't so hopeless after all.
“No! I mean—m-maybe!” She giggled nervously. “Why don't you come on by my cottage a bit later while I, uhm, rustle up some critters?”
“Sure, I guess,” I agreed. While the others wrapped up their meals, the niggling thought that had eluded me earlier fell into place. “Oh! Do you know where the Morgwyn went?”
Fluttershy squeaked and dove under the table. “The Morgwyn? Wh-where?” she stammered, tucking her long tail around herself.
“Taking that as a no. Pinkie?”
“Big scary blue cat thing?”
I nodded. “Yeah.” Fluttershy squeaked in agreement.
“Nope! Not a clue.”
“The Morgwyn had a very important task to perform in bringing you here,” Twilight reassured me. “I'm sure it's moved on already, after receiving a suitable reward from Princess Celestia.”
“Pinkie Pie mentioned her before.” I tapped a hoof to my chin for a moment before turning to Twilight. “Who is she? Wouldn't she be the same rank as you, being a princess and all?”
“You're very clever,” she complimented me, in a way that somehow made me feel more patronized than pleased. “Princess Celestia is more than just a Princess. She's been the just and wise ruler of our world for well over a thousand years. She is gracious enough to present me as having equal rank, but who can truly measure up to her?”
“Literally.” Pinkie waved a hoof over her head. “She's, like, six, seven, eight feet tall.”
“Breathes fire,” Fluttershy added.
“And shoots lightning from her eyes!” Pinkie declared. “Zap!”
“I like her,” Applejack announced, finally joining in on the conversation. “Her will has the force of law, and there ain' no pony who can argue with her. T'ain't often you see a pony with that level of gumption.”
Rainbow seemed bothered by this talk, with the way her eyes narrowed and her brow furrowed. She leaned forward, protesting, “Wait just a minute, Princess Celestia isn’t—”
“A complete tyrant, I know,” Rarity interjected. “She’s widely recognized for her generous health care and efficiently run trains.”
“I’m still on probation after killing her pet bird.” Fluttershy shivered, still under the table. She crept out carefully, as if uncertain whether or not Princess Celestia—or the Morgwyn—might be watching. “I should go get those critters,” she announced, darting off with her wings fluttering haphazardly.
Rainbow Dash screwed her face up to object again, but Twilight took her by the foreleg. “I think we should get going, too. You’ve got a lot of work to do on the weather, and I wanted you to, you know… show me some cloud-busting techniques,” she suggested, smiling cheek-to-cheek.
Rarity and Applejack protested business elsewhere, and Pinkie Pie was gorging herself in a bowl of jello, so I was left to decide what to do on my own for the first time since I stalked away from my stupid sister. It was easy to take advantage of my liberty, headed away from the café.
Ponyville was a nice little town, as far as towns went. Sure, it would have been better to have something flashier instead of quaint and country everywhere—maybe some rocket ships or at least a fully-grown dragon or two. Still, the best thing about a town full of ponies was that it was a town full of ponies. They were so much better than regular ponies, too, with their own unique look and coats and manes in any color a person could name. The meaning of the stamps on their rumps escaped me, though. It would be something to ask about.
That had me thinking about the lack of foals again. There hadn’t been any other kids out on the streets, but no one seemed bothered. Briefly, I wondered if they were all in school, which definitely would have tainted the utopia. For that matter, where were the goblins? This town didn’t look anything like the one I had seen before, and that castle was nowhere in sight.
A flash of pink hair caught my attention, and I realized I had inadvertently followed Fluttershy away from the table. She darted down an alley and through a door, slamming it shut behind her. Curious, I started after her, noting in passing that even the alleyways around here looked pleasant and clean. The windowsills even had flowerpots on them.
There was no sign of what purpose the building Fluttershy had gone into served, but it looked like it lay near the edge of town. The door looked pretty old, covered with deep scratches. I lifted a hoof and started to turn the knob, only to stop at a sharp sound from the other side.
“Reptiles? Insects?” Fetter’s harsh voice demanded from inside, clearly confused. “Didn’t we provide enough small, cute things?”
“She’s insisting!” It was Fluttershy, and she didn’t sound terribly pleased, either. “I don’t understand. I’ve never failed to charm a little girl with cute animals before.”
“Times’ve changed,” Fetter said with a grunt. “I don’ think they make wee girls the same way they used to. This one asks all sortsa strange questions.”
“You don’t know the half of it,” Fluttershy breathed. “She even wanted to know where the Morgwyn went! I stayed up in the house all night to see if she’d wake up with nightmares from seeing it. That thing scares me.”
“What, were you hopin’ to comfort her or the other way around?”
“Shut it, Fetter!” Fluttershy roared, her tone shifting hard and taking on a peculiar lilt. It was like she was an entirely different pony, bursting up through the shell. “Don’t ya mock me! And if’n I want to go the extra mile and help her feel safe and secure here, there ain’ nothin’ wrong with that. Poor wee thing, with yer lettin’ the Morgwyn get its claws about her. She’s gotta be shakin’ in her hooves just at the thought of it.”
“Fine, fine! Hel’s Teeth, girl, don’ tear my face off.”
“I’m gettin’ tired of the ribbing, Fetter.”
“Hey guys,” Rainbow Dash’s voice came in from another direction inside. “What’s up?”
She was joined by Twilight Sparkle. “Is something wrong here?”
“Nothin’,” Fetter grumbled. “Just roundin’ up some lizards, apparently.”
Pressing one of my long ears to the door, I caught Fluttershy’s question, couched in a fragile tone. “Do y’all think it’s wrong of me to put so much effort into welcomin’ Amelia?”
“Oh, no, no, I think it’s very sweet.” Twilight’s tone suggested she was trying to defuse a bomb. Strange, she had that same lilt as Fluttershy, though she wasn’t mangling words in the same way.
“I just wish I was a right natural like you,” Fluttershy said softly, though it was unclear who she was addressing. “You’re just so professional; it makes me nervous tryin’ to perform near you.”
“Geeze, not you, too. It’s not like I’m doing anything special,” Rainbow Dash muttered.
“Don’t be so modest, it’s the truth!” Twilight breathed. Her tone lowered. “I’ve been doing this sort of thing for a long time, and it’s fascinating to watch. There’s method and then there’s method—I can’t even tell right now; you’re so good.”
“Method?” Rainbow Dash asked. I mouthed the word, trying to figure out what Twilight meant.
I put my hoof to the knob again and focused on getting a grip on it. There had to be more to this. Fluttershy had mentioned performing. Where they all practicing for a show? Fetter was in there, too, and I was determined to get an explanation from him, as well.
Suddenly, Pinkie’s voice was in my ear, whispering, “Wha’cha doin’, Amy?” I sprang a full three feet into the air, every single hair of my coat standing on end.
She giggled and snorted. “The look on your face!” she wheezed between laughs.
“Pinkie…!” I hissed, rolling my eyes at the door. To answer her question, I said, “I thought I heard Fluttershy in here, and I was going in to see her.”
“Oh, you don’t want to go in there.” Pinkie hooked her hoof around me and led me away. “It’s dingy, and not very fun at all.”
“But why were Twilight and Rainbow and Fetter in there? I haven’t seen Fetter at all since I came here!”
“Ol’ Fetty? Oh I’m sure he was just stopping by.” Pinkie Pie dismissed my concerns with a wave of her hoof, before regarding me with a serious frown. “You really shouldn’t be going into strange houses uninvited, though.”
“Don’t tell anyone, Pinkie. I didn’t know it was off-limits. I swear, I won’t do it again.”
“Gosh, Amelia. I really should let the Princess know. We wouldn’t want you getting lost or hurt or scared. What if you got trapped somewhere and we couldn’t find you?”
“Please?” I gave her the puppy dog look that always worked with anyone older than me, all pouting and great, big, gleaming eyes. Even Daphne would have folded. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”
“Pinkie Promise?”
Blinking, I looked down at my hoof, which was decidedly lacking in any kind of finger, let alone pinkies.
“No, silly.” Pinkie giggled, giving me a nudge. “You do it like this.” She sat down and made a little cross over her heart, chanting, “Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!” She concluded it by poking her pink hoof into her eye, though she closed it first.
I watched this dubiously, but sat down. “Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!” I repeated, carefully maneuvering my hoof to my socket.
“Careful you never mess that up; it’s a powerful magical spell. If you break the promise or perform it wrong, horrible things happen!” Pinkie insisted with a dire tone.
“You’re joking, right?” I asked. “Right?” I asked again, nervously, at her silence.
Pinkie waited until I swallowed, eyes wide, before springing up again. “Great! Let’s go get donuts!” she said, before bouncing off down the street.
Left uncertain about more than just the consequences of Pinkie Promises, I trotted along behind the older mare, my thoughts back on that scratched-up old door.
I had few enough chances over the next few days to do much exploring, though, and it became very easy to forget about little things that should have bothered me. Fetter had promised me that an entire magical land was waiting for me, and, true to his word, I was the center of attention.
Just where I had always wanted to be.
* * *
That first night, I went camping with Fluttershy, who was the most boring pony ever. Leaving aside her occasional bursts of temper, she spent most of the day being afraid of her own shadow.
“Gosh,” Fluttershy murmured as she kneaded the pillow under her hooves, “every week?”
“Yup, as soon as I got home from school on Friday,” I affirmed, scooping another ball of ice cream into her bowl. The fireflies dancing in the lantern made Fluttershy’s wide eyes glitter. She reached for her spoon, intent on me, eating up my story as voraciously as she did the double fudge. As it turned out, she was also extremely easy to gull.
“That’s so horrible.” She dug her spoon into the ice cream, idly picking at it. “I grew up in a dark place, too, but my parents never locked me in a breadbox.”
“I know, right? And forget about ice cream—I was lucky to get stale, old bread to eat!” The little tent felt warm and comfortable, with the stars hanging outside with the moon. The nights here were so bright, unlike back home. Ponyville and all its lights looked warm and inviting off in the distance. Frogs sang from a nearby pond, a bassy accompaniment to the crickets.
Fluttershy sniffled, rubbing at her nose. “I—I had no idea humans could be so harsh. Your parents remind me of my own—” She paused, breaking off. “I mean… I sympathize, I really do. I’m so glad you came here.” She surprised me a bit with her enthusiasm, drawing me into a soft, cuddly hug, with her hair falling over my side. “I won’t let anything bad happen to you any more.”
Ugh, that’s all I needed. A girly, mushy pony getting all gooey on me. I was a big girl and I could take care of myself.
I didn’t need a big sister to hold me and tell me she’d take care of me. Not at all.
“Yeah.” I rubbed at my nose as I laid my head against her chest. “Yeah.”
A long, gentle stillness passed between us, before Fluttershy asked, “Are you sleepy?”
“No way.” I shoved a hoof into my mouth to block a yawn. “Not at all.”
“Oh, so you don’t want me to tuck you into bed?”
“Nuh uh. I can totally stay up all night if I want to.”
“Aren’t you at least going to tell Mr. Komodo Dragon good night? He looks so sleepy.”
“Good night, Mr. Komodo Dragon,” I said over Fluttershy’s shoulder.
The enormous lizard taking up the backside of the tent opened his mouth and hissed before settling his head back between his legs again.
Really, I should have returned to my own sleeping bag, but Fluttershy was so close, and I felt so heavy. Her soft humming caught my ears and I followed the little tune as it blended in with the croaking frogs and singing crickets, drawing me down into sleep.
I took it back then. Fluttershy was a lot of things, and boring was the least important of them.
* * *
The next day was spent in preparation for an impossible task.
“I don’t understand why we keep having to play this game,” Rarity whined beside me.
“Shush!” I shushed her, concentrating on the idea of remaining still. “You’re going to give us away.”
She harrumphed and shifted irritably, trying to avoid rustling the mottled camouflage net stretched over our concealment. “I still don’t see why I needed to be here for this.”
“I needed you to help me set up the net,” I explained, keeping my voice low. “I don’t plan on losing again.”
“You should really just give up at this point. You’re such a persistent little girl.”
“Failure is not an option!”
“Surrender is a perfectly acceptable alternative in extreme circumstances. She might be gracious enough to—”
My ears swiveled as the rattle of cans caught our attention. Rarity quieted in sudden apprehension.
“That’s the north perimeter,” I whispered, turning around slowly to face the trees. Through the netting, lines hung with soup cans were faintly visible, rattling. They subsided after a moment, leaving only the breeze.
Silence reigned in the enclosure.
Rarity breathed a sigh. “I think she must have moved on, she—” Whatever she had to say was lost in a terrified squeal as something fast grabbed her from below, hauling her through the branches.
I immediately sprang out of the camouflaged tree house, running as fast as my little legs could take me and leaving Rarity to her fate. It was too late for her in any case. I wasn’t going to lose, no matter what!
As I ran through the brush, I could hear Rarity’s assailant gaining behind me. It was my doom, slouching towards our fated appointment. It had a distinct, unmistakable sound:
Boing, boing, boing.
Despair wracked me. It was impossible and I knew it. By running I was only delaying the inevitable.
Nobody could beat Pinkie Pie at Hide-and-Seek.
Nobody.
* * *
The day after that, I spent some time talking with Applejack and Twilight.
“You know, I’m not entirely sure you’re putting me on,” Applejack protested. “Who the heck even came up with an idea like that? It’d drive me crazy having to keep track, let alone the cost of giving that many presents.”
“Well, Applejack, if you don’t want to respect my culture that’s perfectly okay with me,” I said, in a tone of understanding. That was very easy to do while sitting on a pile of gift boxes as big as I was. “What if I told you that housewarming gifts had to be made from your own hair? That would be completely unreasonable.”
“I like it,” Twilight said, brightly. “It encourages mathematical reasoning.”
“You would.” Applejack’s glare passed from me to Twilight. “If you make me give you a housewarming gift for every prime numbered day you’ve lived here, I’m going to cave in your skull.”
“Well, think about it,” Twilight pointed out, “they don’t need to be big gifts, and tomorrow is the fourth day, so we don’t need to give her anything at all. Then it’s just the fifth, seventh, eleventh, thirteenth, seventeenth, nineteenth…”
Twilight trailed off, and looked at me suspiciously. Comprehension dawned on her features.
“What?” I asked, feigning innocence. It was probably a little spoiled by my giant grin.
* * *
Not every day was as fun as the others, though. There were a few things in the world that could completely sap a young filly of strength. One of these was a vampire, who could suck her blood out and leave her a dried, broken husk. Another was the soporific droning of a two-hundred-year old English teacher who didn’t understand the budding genius represented in a young girl’s essay about how adding dinosaurs would infinitely improve Congress.
The most powerful, however, would have to be sitting around in the Carousel Boutique while she watched Rarity try and find a dress.
I rolled my eyes—the only part of my body that still functioned well—to look at Pinkie Pie. My hooves dangled lifelessly over the the chair Rarity had me sitting on, while the rest of me was slung over it like melted ice cream. “Kill me.”
Pinkie giggled, nudging me so that I slid off the chair and flopped onto the floor. An increasingly harried-looking Rarity didn’t notice, pins stuck in her hair, which had come awry. When she had invited me in off the street with Pinkie Pie an hour or so before, she had been full of verve and confidence, intent on seeing me in a new dress that would strike me blind with awe—or so she said. Suiting action to words was proving more challenging to her than she had thought.
To be entirely fair, it wasn’t really her fault. I’d sworn a curse upon all dresses several months ago, and Mother had already despaired of trying to put me into one ever again. Becoming a pony wasn’t sufficient to change my mind.
After what must have been the twentieth little filly dress to fail my test floated past me in a red haze, I waved a hoof. “What are you doing with all of these foal dresses?” I asked, confused. No one had yet given me a satisfactory answer to the question of where all the foals were. It seemed ridiculous to suggest that they might still be in school.
Rarity carefully clutched a light blue sundress to herself. “I made them for you.” She brushed her frazzled hair back with a forehoof and opened a large trash bin at the back of the room, her white hooves cringing back from the opening as she floated the dress over towards it in a red aura. “Well,” she went on, “I suppose you can go, then. It was nice having you over, dear.”
Normally, I might have been flippant, carrying on the disdain I had already shown her. It’s how I would have paid back Daphne or Mother after a long day at the mall. Of course, the flaw in that idea was that neither of them had ever made a dress for me with her own hooves—or hands—and certainly had never looked that hurt at my rejection. It sucked the fun right out of defiance.
“Wait!” I lifted my head up off the floor. Rarity froze in the act of rearing up, to more dramatically cast the debased work into the rubbish heap, I suppose. “The dresses aren’t, you know, bad,” I prevaricated, and stretched for a way to salvage the situation. “They just could be…”
“Yes. Yes?” Rarity asked, with vibrant impatience, as she dropped back to all four hooves. Pinkie Pie looked at me curiously, as well, as I stood up. Rarity's tools hovered over her work station, bolts of cloth poised at the ready.
“Cooler.” I waved a hoof expansively as I settled on the most apt descriptor.
“Cooler?” Rarity asked, her and her tools visibly drooping a little.
“Yeah, they need to be… cooler.” There really wasn’t another way to describe what I meant.
It was like watching a grape shrivel up in the sun. My callous dismissal of her entire catalogue had evidently put her in a bad spot. Frantic, she started to push aside the racks of hoof-stitched clothes and threw open a large closet near the back, where mannequins were collecting dust.
“I don’t think mannequin is the right word,” Pinkie Pie contemplated aloud.
“Ponyquin? Horsequin? Gosh-I’m-an-equinequin?” I offered.
“No, no, clotheshorse!” she decided, satisfied.
“Oh, that just won’t do,” Rarity moaned from the back, and I trotted over to see what she was doing. “Ridiculous! Untenable!”
Outfits were being cast out in her rampage, each one progressively worse than the last. The further back she dug, the more amateurish the stitching and color-blind the dresses got. When a loud clanking emanated from the back, however, my ears swiveled forward immediately. “Is that… armor?”
Rarity, her hair in disarray, poked her head out from behind a great stack of boxes. “What, armor?” she demanded.
Digging in, I took hold of a rack in my teeth and pulled it back out into the sewing room. The layers of dust made me sneeze, and I wiped my nose before circling around my find. It was hung with what looked to be pony armor, except it was all fashioned in a way that suggested the armorer had been trying to design them as upper class outfits. One featured a top hat made out of polished steel, and one dress was all in scale armor, with patterns of electroplated copper and silver.
“Oh, no!” Rarity cried, dismayed. She scrambled down off the boxes and skittered across the smooth floor in her haste. It was, if anything, reminiscent of someone who had been caught and wanted desperately to cover everything up again. “Don’t look at that!” she begged, and stammered on, “I-it’s awful, just awful! Early work. How did that even get in there? Hah hah!” Her forced laugh didn’t quite hide the tremor in her voice. She glanced to Pinkie Pie with what almost seemed to be fright, but Pinkie just sat there and grinned, enjoying the show.
With no support forthcoming, Rarity put her head to the side of the rack and started to push it back into the closet. “I’ll… I’ll just… cover this up, and we can all pretend we never saw it. I-it’s just—”
“—awesome!” I interrupted.
That stopped Rarity up short. “Awesome?” she wheezed. Her panting breaths deepened as she caught some air, and she asked again, “What do you mean?”
“You made armor? That is just so cool.” I was surprised she couldn’t see it herself. Going back over to the rack, I lifted one of the skirts, which had brushed steel petals over a chainmail hem—the material was fantastically light and thin, with links so small that it practically shimmered against the sunlight. “This is so light, too! I think someone could actually wear this.”
Rarity was flabbergasted. She lifted a scuffed white hoof, as if to protest, but instead rose up and circled around the rack. “I really shouldn’t,” she demurred, staring at me a moment before looking to Pinkie Pie for answers again. “I’m not supposed to—I mean, I used to work in armor, yes, but—”
“Can you imagine how cool I would look in armor?” I said, hopping up to put my hooves on Rarity’s chest, grinning from ear to ear. “Please, Rarity? You can make a special outfit for me and I’ll pose and everything!”
“I—I don’t know. I, I really shouldn’t.” Rarity bit her lip, but her eyes were softening. It wouldn’t be long before she folded.
“Well,” I wheedled, walking over to one of the outfits Rarity had put together for me earlier, lifting a pile of sewn green silk with a hoof, “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt for me to try one of these on, too. It would be the least I could do in return.”
“Like a sweet Nightmare Night costume?” Pinkie Pie asked.
“If that means Halloween then sure,” I agreed. “If I'm going to get a special outfit, it ought to be some awesome costume. A super pony of some sort!”
“Yes.” Rarity grew more animated with every word of my encouragement. “Yes, yes I could… a bit of maille there, maybe some jewelry to alleviate… yes, I can see it!” Her mane and tail had recovered their bounce, somehow, and she clapped her hooves on the floor. “Oh, Amelia, my little darling, I will make you positively shine!”
Taking back my thoughts from earlier, I revised my opinion of Rarity’s shop. Suddenly, it didn’t seem like such a boring place after all. I ran a hoof along the green silk of the gown I had touched thoughtfully, imagining what I might look like in it. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad after all.
* * *
The following day was largely wasted arguing with Princess Twilight.
“But Twilight,” I whined, beating my hooves impatiently on the hewn floor of the library. Books loomed from every shelf, on every subject imaginable, but only one genre interested me at the moment. Of all of the subjects covered in the library, only one of them was a subject I couldn’t find back home. “You promised you’d teach me magic!”
Well, okay, three if I counted Unicorn Horn Grooming and Care of Magical Creatures. That last one was probably worth checking out, but a girl can only focus on so many awesome things at a time.
“Amelia, sweetheart, while you are proving to be a very precocious little girl, I am afraid it would be entirely irresponsible of me to take you on as my pupil. When I said ‘all in good time’ I meant that you would have to wait a few years until you grew up,” Twilight explained from her wooden throne at the back of the library, its seat piled with cushions and its back rising into a carved owl head. “Also, it is Princess Twi—” She had started to correct me, but then bit her lip to cut herself off, furrowing her brow.
“Hah! See?” I pointed an accusatory hoof in her direction. “You’ll keep your promise to Rainbow Dash, but you try to back out when it comes time to own up to mine!”
“T-that’s not really the same thing!” she asserted, turning her nose up and looking anywhere in the library but at me.
“It totally is.” My hoof came down hard. “You didn’t say anything about waiting for a while; you said you’d teach me later, and what better time is there? I mean, what did you expect me to do with you in the library?” I demanded. “You sit and read on your throne while I sit and read over there?”
Twilight crushed a nearby book to her chest defensively. “Uhm. No. That is not at all what I planned. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.”
“Look at it this way, Twilight.” I started pulling books off the shelves. “This is a library, right? I can check these books out and read them on my own time. I’ve got a nice room with a table and everything.”
“I suppose that’s true,” she admitted, cautiously, setting her book upon the armrest of her throne. “Still, you shouldn’t be practicing dangerous magic in the middle of a flammable library.”
“Where do you practice?”
“Why, I practice—” Twilight paused, and then finished lamely, “…in the library.”
“Ooh, I see. Right here, in the library,” I repeated, grinning broadly as I pranced over to her side.
Twilight rubbed her face with a hoof. For some reason, adults tended to do that a lot around me. “Fine, fine. But I won’t teach you unicorn magic.”
“Aww, c’mon,” I pressed, swishing my tail in agitation.
“No, I can’t,” she affirmed, only to quickly correct herself. “That is, you’re just not old enough—it wouldn’t work. I can teach you some other magic, though. Clever magic.”
Scrunching my face up, I protested, “It’s not, like, stage magic, is it? Not that that can’t be cool, but I can learn that any old place. Come on, Twilight, teach me something awesome.”
The face above mine broke into a grin of her own, and Twilight lifted her wings to block out the windows above the chair, casting us into shadow. “Oh, no, no, my persistent little foal. It’s related to stage magic, but better. It’s a crafty sort of magic that not just anyone can learn. Oh, I know it, of course, but then I’m one of the best,” she said, rising to my challenge with an arrogant flip of her mane.
This intrigued me a great deal. It seemed I had cut through some of Twilight’s outer layers, for starters, as I had never seen her acting quite like this. It was almost as if she were an entirely different pony. For two, this sounded like genuinely interesting magic.
“Why can’t just anyone learn it?” I inquired, tilting my ears forward.
“Can anyone learn to fly through the air or burrow underground? No, you need to have the right qualities, dear. Once upon a time, even Man could do it, but they seem to have lost the way of it.”
“But I can? I was a human—is it because I’m a pony now?”
Twilight laughed mockingly, leaping lightly off the throne and concentrating to shift the heavy table out of the center of the library with a flare of red magic. “I doubt most ponies could do it, either. It requires a serious commitment and a willingness to ignore conventional thinking. Two things, I have noticed, that you possess in abundance.”
“Mom always did say I lived in my own world, does that count?”
“It’s a start!”
Sweeping her hoof in an arc, she threw sparkling powder into the light. To anyone who had studied a bit of stage magic, it was painfully obvious what she was doing, trying to attract audience attention so that whatever she was really doing wouldn’t noticed. In just a moment she would be holding up a hoofful of roses or have produced something with her tail or—
—or maybe she could have vanished entirely. From the middle of a fair-sized, well-lit room, with all available exits in plain view.
“Boo,” Twilight said, right into my ear.
Squealing, I leapt off my chair, hooves flailing in the air.
Twilight’s laugh was genuine, as deep and rich as any I had heard before. It was hard not to laugh with her, but it was just so surprising to hear it. Ever since the first day, she had been so straight-laced and reserved.
“You cheated!” I accused, trying to spot the trick. “You used unicorn magic! I bet you just used the powder to hide the red glow from me!”
“Oh, no, this is unicorn teleportation.” She set herself solidly and closed her eyes. With obvious effort on her part, a red fire built up along her horn. With a burst of sound and light, she vanished and then appeared on the top of the stairs overlooking the main floor. She slumped, drained, with a hoof and tail dangling over the side limply. “See? Not so… easy to hide,” she wheezed. “Can’t imagine doing that spell more than once.”
“So what was that?” I pressed.
“A Vanish.”
“But,” I murmured, and frowned, “that’s the same term used by magicians when they make something disappear, in stage illusions.”
“Illusion, hah!” Twilight scoffed, disdainful. “They wouldn’t know illusion if it bit them in the face.” Rising, she shook herself and returned to the first floor. “As I said, once upon a time, you could call a human a conjurer without laughing, but no more. They use the same names and the same ideas still, but I doubt any of them have an idea of how to really do it. All sleight-of-hand and smoke and mirrors. Those things help, but they aren’t real illusion.”
“You mean sleight-of-hoof, right?”
“Yes, sure, sleight-of-hoof. Meant that.”
“So you’re telling me that you can teach me how to actually do what stage magicians pretend to do?” I asked, my tail nearly wagging behind me.
“A portion of it, perhaps. Of course, I wouldn’t teach just anyone…” Twilight trailed off.
“What? Who would you teach? I thought it was me!” I yelped.
“A magician can’t simply tell her secrets to any silly filly who comes along begging for it,” Twilight insisted, lifting her head and foreleg in a posture of indifference. “No, no, I fear it’s simply impossible.”
That witch. She had me.
Sliding to my rear knees and lifting my hooves imploringly, I begged her, “Please, I’ll do anything!”
“Anything?” she asked slyly. “To become my apprentice and learn my tricks?”
“Anything!”
* * *
“Argh!” I screamed in frustration. “I hate you, Twilight Sparkle!”
“Something wrong, squirt?” Rainbow Dash asked, drifting in above me on a cloud. The mare snickered, trying to keep herself from laughing. “Wow, what happened here?”
With my face smeared in white paint, I glared up at her. Where my hooves weren’t stained with paint, black ink had been rubbed in so deep I couldn’t scrub them out. It’s like Twilight had never even heard of a ballpoint pen.
“I—” Pausing for effect, I drew myself up with an indignant pose “—am painting a fence.”
Rainbow looked around from her vantage point at the paint-stained grass and walkway, the white-coated roots of the tree, the paint-splattered plants in the garden near the library, and my own paint-coated form. Pretty much everything except for the fence that should have been painted.
“You missed a spot,” Rainbow pointed out.
“Ugh,” I spat, and kicked my paint can over. Normally this would have been a terrible idea, but it had already been emptied of its contents.
Rainbow’s chortling wasn’t helping. She was doing everything she could to keep from falling off her cloud. Stamping my hoof and pouting only made her laugh harder.
Wiping her eyes, she grinned down at me. “You look like a filly who really, really needs something better to do.”
“I’m supposed to do chores for Twilight,” I muttered.
“Yeah, you sound real excited about that,” she replied sarcastically.
“She promised to teach me magic!”
Rainbow fluttered down, hovering effortlessly in the air upon her cloud. She tilted up the lid of the paint can, peering in. “Don’t see any magic here.”
“I’m her apprentice,” I countered. “I’m supposed to do chores to earn lessons.”
“Yeah? What kind of things have you been doing for her?” she asked in return, nudging the paint can to send it rolling away.
“Uh,” I considered, lifting a hoof to count off. After realizing that I couldn’t count on fingers I didn’t have, I resorted to tapping on the accursed fence. “I sorted the returned books. I copied her notes for her research. I scrubbed the windows. I swept the floors…”
Rainbow raised a brow. “Sounds more like you’re doing Spike’s work than learning magic.”
“Who’s Spike?” I asked.
Rainbow waved a hoof. “Not important. So, how much magic has she actually taught you?”
“A bit! Watch.” I reached around, grabbing a half-finished apple from my basket. Concentrating, I held it upright on one hoof and sat down to ready the other forehoof. “Okay, now, watch: I’m going to make this apple disappear. One, two, three, Vanish!” I commanded aloud, putting all of my focus into it, and clapped my hooves together.
With a squishy crunch, the apple flattened between my forehooves and dribbled applejuice down over the white paint, further staining my coat.
“Well, the apple is gone,” Rainbow pointed out. She was so full of useful advice today.
“I was able to do it earlier,” I whined with a pout. “I mean, we weren’t able to find the apple again, but I did Vanish it! Twilight said that counted for something.”
“That doesn’t sound like unicorn magic at all to me. Are you sure she isn’t just playing with your head?”
I hung my head. “She said she couldn’t teach me unicorn magic.”
“Really. Huh,” Rainbow said. She scuffed at her cloud awkwardly.
“Something up?” I asked her, uncertainly.
“Nothing much. It’s just, you know, I thought we’d talk a bit.”
“Oh?” That was surprising. Rainbow hadn’t been around all that much so far. “About what?”
Rainbow opened her mouth to speak, but the library door being slammed open caught our attention. Twilight stormed out, her hooves stamping on the earth. “Amelia!”
“Scram, kid!” Rainbow shouted, taking her cloud and racing off.
Heeding her advice, I raced off into town, laughing as Twilight’s angry declarations trailed after me.
* * *
Dusty old books had their own smell. A musty, rich smell. There were hints of things that a girl like me couldn’t even guess at. Each one had pages of faded ink in pony script, with colorful illustrations interspacing them. The images had not merely been inked in, as I discovered when I ran my hoof gently across one of a winged unicorn backed by the sun, they had been painted on.
Pinkie Pie snored enthusiastically on the table by the window, her face plastered onto the cover of the book Unicorn Horn Care. A towel shoved under her mouth kept her drool from ruining the cover. Twilight might have killed both of us if that had happened. These books were pretty old, after all. Propped up pillows and the sun streaming in through the open window made for a perfect reading environment. It was warm and comfortable in the early morning sunlight.
Of course, the contents weren’t nearly as interesting as the question of why these books were so old. It was another puzzle to add to the ones Ponyville had already presented. A whole library run by a bibliophile and all of the contents seemed to be older than dirt.
Wandering eyes told me that I wasn’t going to get any more reading done right then. It wasn’t that pony script was all that hard to read once someone showed you how the little symbols were all sounds, but there was nothing to be done about it once restlessness set in.
I set the book aside and moved quietly, so as not to rouse Pinkie, over to my storage chest, pulling out a length of yarn and a pair of scissors marked with Rarity’s diamonds. The yarn was long and thin and the same color as Rarity’s hair, and the scissors sliced through it easily.
“Now, Twilight did it kinda like…” I put the two ends together, muttering to myself. Covering the two ends with a hoof, I tried to concentrate on the idea that they should be whole again. Restored. “And do it with a flourish.”
Counting in my head, I stuck my tongue out and snapped my hooves against the top of the chest twice, where the table lay, and—
“Hey, kid,” Rainbow Dash announced from the window.
—completely lost my balance, tumbled backwards as I jolted up, and failed to maintain my balance on my rear hooves alone. Rainbow caught me in her strong forelimbs, holding me steady. Pinkie Pie snorted once, then rolled her snout over, mumbling into the towel, “Nah mam, I dun’ want more crickets… ah’m full…”
“Sweet jumping jackalopes, Rainbow, you made me jump out of my coat!” I hissed, if not entirely displeased. Rainbow Dash was one of the best parts about this place.
“Again with the weird sayings, kid. C’mere.” Rainbow grabbed me around my barrel, carting me off like a sack of grain. Stifling a yelp, I tried to hold on to the yarn, only for the spool to slip free and fall as I was lifted. It was impossible to tell if it was my imagination or not, but it seemed as if only one whole thread fell to the floor as we left.
It was always fun to travel this way. Not that walking and running everywhere tirelessly didn’t have its appeal, but there was something about the bird’s eye view that really captured the imagination. Ponyville was so very small from on high, too. Even from as low up in the sky as we were going, it looked like little more than a few thatched roofed cottages and the homes of our friends.
Come to think of it, that seemed a little strange in and of itself. Trying to count as we flew was an exercise in failure, though. It just kept coming up as different numbers every time.
Oddly, I couldn’t recall ever seeing Rainbow Dash’s home. I supposed that I probably couldn’t visit it in any case, seeing as how I didn’t have any wings.
“Say, Rainbow, why do you suppose Twilight keeps skipping out while I do chores to go visit your place?” I asked, hoping that was roundabout enough not to arouse too much suspicion.
“Heck if I know, she’s been weird ever since I got here.”
Maybe that was too roundabout. Changing tact, I asked, “Where are we going, you think? Out to Fluttershy’s?”
“Went there last week,” Rainbow said, distracted.
“Movie theater?”
“Already saw those pictures. Besides, I thought you didn’t really like pony movies?” Rainbow pointed out, and banked to catch an updraft.
“None of them I saw. How about Rarity’s?”
“Ugh.”
“But I wanted to see how my special project was doing!” I protested.
“You can see it later,” she shot back. After an awkward pause, she seemed to realize that might have been a little harsh. “Sorry. Hey, how about Sweet Apple Acres? I am hankering for a bite.”
A little taken aback, I answered a little hesitantly, “Uh, yeah, sure, I guess. I was supposed to go over there later to see Applejack, anyway. Not that I was in a big hurry, her idea of a good time always seems to involve work.”
Winging out over the apple orchards, which started where the town ended, we landed somewhere behind the barn. “So, uhm… Rainbow,” I put forward nervously, scuffing my hoof. It was weird having to talk like this to an adult. “You’ve kinda been a little short with me, lately. Did I do something wrong?”
Before, pony expressions had been clear enough in the broad strokes, if only because their faces were so easy to read. After spending so long with them, though, the more subtle features had started to become clear. The tightness around Rainbow’s eyes deepened slightly. It was a look I probably should have recognized earlier.
“It’s nothing, kid.” Her voice was tense, sharper than usual. “Hold on, let me get some apples,” she announced, and went over to a tree.
“It’s so obviously not nothing!” I objected, trotting over to join her. Expecting her to fly up and fetch some, I watched her scuff her rear hooves against the tree instead. It was as if she was marking a spot.
“Hold on, don’t want to mess this up.” She slowly put her hind leg through the motions of a buck, lining up the strike with her mark. “Won’t be pretty for anyone.”
“Uhm, Rainbow, there are no apples there.” I eyed her curiously. “Are you going to knock down the whole tree? I don’t think Applejack will be very happy about that.”
Instead of responding, Rainbow abruptly reared up on her forelegs and thrust out her lower body. There was a sound thunk as her hooves connected with the trunk, and then a forest of soft thuds as apples bounced off the earth.
“How the heck did you do that?” I asked, at a loss. “Wow, if you can do that, why does Applejack keep hiring people to pick her apples?”
Rainbow shrugged indifferently. “Beats me, I don’t tell her how to run her farm.” She looked down at me. An awkward silence broke out as neither of us said anything.
I was beginning to wonder why Rainbow had picked me up. It was almost as if she didn’t want to hang out at all. Before I could really frame a thought, though, she picked up an apple and tossed it to me.
“Look, kid,” she began, “it’s not like I don’t like hanging out with you. You’re an okay kid, most of the time, but hasn’t this been going on a while now?”
A frown crossed my lips as I crunched the apple between my teeth rather than answer.
My confusion must have spoken louder than words, because she shook her head and snarfed an apple down in a single gulp—there was one way to vanish a stupid apple, all right—and went on, “Sure, a day or two was fun, but how long has it been now?”
“What’re you saying?” I asked, uncertain. This whole conversation was making me think of the last one my sister and I had together, and that was not an entirely comfortable idea.
“Oh, cut it out,” she told me, irritably. “You can’t be that dense.”
“I am not dense!” I shouted back at her. “You’re obtuse! I’m not stupid!”
“Ob-what?” she asked, blinking, but waved it off. “Forget it. Look, I don’t really know what all this is about, but I’m pretty much done with it.”
“Done with what? What are you saying?” I snapped, a lot more fiercely than I intended. “What, are you going to leave me here?”
“I didn’t say that!” Rainbow said, defensively. “I was so not about to say that.”
“Well, what are you saying?” My tail was lashing behind me like a cat’s. It probably would have been a better idea to take my tone down a notch. Every time I started to think about taking a step back, however, something ugly reared up in me.
“I mean more that this is getting a little old,” Rainbow tried to explain, reaching a hoof out to my shoulder.
“Yeah? So you’re finally honest about something, huh?” I almost growled, swatting it away. Before she could parse that, I continued, “You don’t think I’ve noticed weird things going on? How there’s no other foals but me? How about how you guys keep meeting behind my back?”
“Amy, calm down—”
“No!” It was like some beast roaring up from deep inside of me. Rainbow Dash could have been Daphne, with that same distant look my sister had the last time I’d seen her. The same feeling of helpless rage coiling up and charging through me, carrying my words along with it. “You don’t really care about me at all, do you?”
It was Rainbow’s turn to look shocked. Her wings flared up, and she set herself angrily. “Now just hold on a minute, kid—” she started, but that was about as far as she got.
“Rainbow Dash!” Twilight Sparkle shouted, and glided to an awkward landing nearby. She took one look at the two of us and stamped a hoof, demanding, “What is going on here? Why are you two fighting? Why did you steal my apprentice?”
“You know what, forget it,” Rainbow snapped, turning to trot away with a quick, angry gait.
Twilight started after her, quickly. “Wait! Rainbow, what’s wrong?” Twilight softened her tone. “Was it something I said? I’m really sorry about that comment. It was uncalled for, I know.”
“No, it’s not that.”
“We can work it out, whatever it is. Just talk to me, Dashie! Don’t be like this,” Twilight pleaded.
“Hailstones!” Rainbow shouted at the sky. “No, I’m not going to put up with this, either. I don’t know what you’re doing, Twilight, and I don’t care. I’m getting out of here right now!”
Twilight gasped, taken aback, as she held a hoof to her chest—strangely, it seemed more… genuine than last time, back at the café—as Rainbow spread her wings and shot off into the sky. It wasn’t long before she was a tiny, blue speck in the sky, Twilight reaching out plaintively for her. Torn, Twilight hesitated for a moment before she bolted off. “Rainbow, wait!” she called out, throwing herself awkwardly into the air with a desperate sort of energy.
Left baffled and confused, I sat down, trying to digest what had just happened. For maybe the first time in my young life, I really tried to think about my situation. This proved impossible while sitting, so I wandered towards the barn, trying to put two and two together.
From up here in the orchards, the whole town was revealed, nestled between green hills that faded to blue in the distance. What was so odd about a town of colorful ponies that seemed to devote a good part of every day to making sure I was well-cared for and satisfied? After all, they were under orders from their princess, who seemed to think that I was important. While that was a perfectly reasonable conclusion, it did seem odd that she’d just forget about me for so long if I was an important human child who they had been waiting for.
The barn was empty upon first glance as I nosed my way into it, looking for a pile of hay to lay down on. Strands of golden chaff were visible from the loft, however—Applejack had probably had them moved there to make room for the harvest. I scaled the ladder and found a spot among the cushy hay, settling in. As it turned out, it also made a great morning snack.
Munching happily on some of my bedding, I was all ready to put some serious thought in when the barn door slammed fully open. Thinking to surprise Applejack, I got ready to jump down, but froze when I saw a blond pegasus mare propelled in from outside. She fell and scrambled back, away from a shadow looming against the morning sunlight, her hat a great circle of darkness across the barn floor.
“So, thought you’d have a go at me with your chummers, then, eh?” Applejack asked. Her voice was in a strange lilt, just like the others had been in that room.
Rather a lot like Fetter’s, now that I think about it.
“No, no, it ain’ that. We was just, y’know,” the mare stammered, trying to find her feet again, “tryin’ to get a bit of variety. Y’know, for the kid. I thought it’d be cute!”
The trembling mare seemed familiar with her blond hair. Thinking back, I vaguely remembered a mare trying to get my attention by clowning around near one of the stands, juggling apples and letting them bounce off her head.
“Cute? Oh yeah, real cute tryin’ to upstage me,” Applejack growled, striding forward into the barn. Her shadow swallowed the other mare up, and she put a hoof down hard on her flank to keep her from getting up. “You’re a bit player. You’re a part of the background. Me? I’m a flippin’ star, I am, and I’m not going to let a jumped up little understudy like you steal the spotlight.”
“It’ll never happen again, swear it!” the mare wibbled, trying to squirm out from under her.
“Yer damn right it will,” Applejack said, and shoved her nose against the other pony’s, “or I’ll beat you until you really are cross-eyed. We tidy?”
“Tidy, tidy!” she squealed.
Applejack held her there for a moment more before letting her go. The grey pegasus scrambled out of the barn as fast as she could go, half-rising off the ground with her wings flapping desperately. Applejack walked over to the barn entrance and leaned against the frame. With a flourish of her hoof, she produced a cigarette out of thin air, and then a second flourish produced a match with which she lit it.
My heart pounded in my ears. It wasn’t so much adrenaline from watching Applejack play schoolyard bully to some mare. It wasn’t even the revelation that Applejack could perform the same sort of magic Twilight had been teaching me.
It was the icy, damp feeling of having been played for an idiot.
“Stupid, stupid!” I muttered to myself, wanting to bang my head against the loft, though that surely would have attracted Applejack’s attention. The certain knowledge that I had gladly let myself be roped into an obvious play staged for my benefit burned like a bed of hot coals smoldering in my gut. The worst part about it was that it was so obvious. Anyone smart should have figured it out days ago.
“One had wondered how long it would take you to figure it out, bairn,” a voice hissed near my ear.
They often say in stories that you can bite your tongue in trying to be silent. Turns out that it’s not only true, but that it hurts a great deal.
Applejack turned her head and I ducked down, quickly, but she only stamped out her cigarette and walked out into the sunlight. Probably to find me, actually, since I was due to meet her soon.
Craning my neck around, I stared into the darkness around me. Straight above me, up in the rafters, a pair of cold blue fires stared down. “Morg!” I whispered, in case Applejack was still close enough to listen. “Where have you been?”
“Here. There,” the cat-thing said indifferently, falling with ghostly silence to land on the loft’s supporting beams, its tail curling up for balance. “Might wonder how bright the bairn truly is. The Morgwyn had wondered if she would remain ignorant forever.”
“Didn’t you tell me that this was waiting for me? That there was a special place here, just for me?” I accused, remembering that night in the woods when we had first met.
“This one claimed that a fabulous kingdom awaited you, of song and magic. Has the Morgwyn not delivered?”
“Well,” I scowled a bit, “I suppose there have been both songs and magic, and this is a kingdom.”
“Then the Morgwyn has delivered.”
I rose up on my hooves indignantly. “But it’s not real!”
“Real enough. Real magic, no?” it asked, languidly, flexing and sharpening its claws on the wood, leaving great gaps.
“They’re lying, though. To me. This is all just…” I trailed off, frowning and lowering my head slightly. “It’s a show. Like a magic show.”
“One wonders if you plan to torture through this reasoning as slowly as the last.”
“No. Come on.” I rose to my feet. Sliding down the ladder, I crept to the barn door and peered out carefully. Applejack was directing other ponies outside, getting wagons and barrels together in preparation for the harvest. Waiting until they were all suitably occupied, I galloped at full tilt towards the town.
Hopefully no one saw me as I snuck back to my house as stealthily as I could. Crates and stands made the best cover, and it seemed that no one spotted me. Without Pinkie or one of her friends herding me along, I was free to take the shortest path, but it was like walking into a different town entirely.
Doors had been thrown open, and ponies were lounging around tables, playing cards and reading aloud from scripts held awkwardly in their hooves. Ponies I had thought were gardeners were oiling up wagons, while one I had thought was a carpenter was going around pouring coffee into great jugs, which were consumed with obvious relish by bleary-eyed mares and stallions. Everywhere, they were speaking with heavy accents, laughing and joking.
It was rather a lot like being backstage at a play. It felt like betrayal, actually.
Scrunching down on my belly, I skittered across a few yards of open street to get into my house. I bypassed the gifts and games scattered about the first floor. Pinkie Pie had gone, which meant that it was probably only a matter of time before they started looking for me in earnest. Grabbing my bag and slinging it around my shoulder, I turned and started back down the stairs.
“…poor dear must be just brokenhearted,” Fluttershy’s voice drifted up to greet me, and I retreated back upstairs, quickly. “I always thought she was just puttin’ on.”
“We all did,” Rarity agreed. Like Twilight, her accent was very controlled, not as earthy as the others. “It was in the profile that they were together, wasn’t it? All of the times they met in the library. Reading the same books. Or how about that time Dash broke her wing? It’s just blindingly obvious.”
“Aye.” There was a clink of ceramic. “Dash is so—you know. I can kinda see it. Though it’s weird how she never breaks character,” Fluttershy continued, but I had lost interest. They didn’t know I was missing, but they didn’t sound like they were moving any time soon.
Backing away from the stairs, I went to check the windows. Both looked out over inhabited streets, making a clean exit impossible. A glance around showed that the Morgwyn was nowhere to be seen, either, despite my telling it to follow me. Gnawing on my lip for a moment, I looked around the room one last time. “I need a distraction.”
Moving the chest would make it scrape along the floor and that would create all sorts of noise, so that wouldn’t do. My eyes flicked from the chest to the contents within. Grinning, I grabbed Twilight’s library bag and shoveled toys into it.
I grabbed the bag with my teeth and hurled it out the open window. There was a loud clanging and then a chorus of swears. I’d managed to brain one of the ponies setting up shop out front. Fluttershy and Rarity raced out just as I’d hoped, the former pulling the stallion toward the house to check on his head. He had stopped swearing once they arrived on the scene, and didn’t really seem quite as bothered as he had been a moment ago.
I raced down the stairs and made for the door. With only a quick peek before darting outside, I hid behind a nearby sign and started to creep towards Sugarcube Corner and my ultimate destination. It didn’t take me nearly as long as I might have thought, either. My suspicions about the actual size of the town were being confirmed with every step.
Each time one of the girls had taken me around town, it had seemed to take forever. There were always several turns and a fair amount of walking. Now I had some idea of why: one of the houses was half-open. Not merely doors and windows, but the entire facade of it was being disassembled in convenient blocks that could be turned around to make it look subtly different. A store sign was hung out for saddles and reins.
I took it back. It didn’t feel like being backstage at a play. It felt like being a piece in somebody’s model town.
“Amelia!” Pinkie Pie’s voice called, echoing up over the houses. “Amy, Amy, oxen free!”
“Crap.”
“I didn’t even get to count to one hundred! Sneaky, sneaky!” Her voice was already closer. She could have been on the rooftops, or even around the corner.
If there was one thing I had learned here, it was that no one could beat Pinkie Pie at Hide-and-Seek. No pony, either, for that matter.
There was only one way out of this.
Tearing off, I galloped at full speed, deliberately shoulder-checking one of the ladders as I went. The working pony using it to change the facade of the building tumbled, and others rushed to help him while I ran off in the confusion. Someone spotted me, but they were too late to do anything to stop me as I leapt around a corner.
The springy sound of a pony hopping was closing in. With little time to spare, I bounded the rest of the way down the dark alley to the door in the wall at the end of the lane. Panting, I put my hoof to the knob, and hesitated.
One part of me was afraid. Afraid of provoking whatever force had arranged this fake town. Afraid of running into a whole battalion of armed guards.
Maybe even a little afraid of giving up the people I had thought were my friends.
Another part of me, however, was the same part that had looked at a monster in the light of the moon and saw the potential to go where no one had ever gone before. Into places no one had ever dared imagine.
I thrust the door open and tumbled through, into darkness.
* * * * * * *
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That went quicker than expected. Enjoy the new chapter, everyone, whilst I head off to clean up the next one~
If I keep this up, I may just catch up with Ether. Still a few more chapters backlogged and waiting for editing.
3138884
I'll pound out another chapter in like a day, just you watch.
This is really confusing.
So, I'm thinking RD is actually RD. And somehow too dense to figure out what's going on. Or something. Changelings?
Infiltrating Dash. I wonder what happened to the others that they can't meet up.
3138898
Ha! I do the same thing to my poor editor. Sometimes by the time he finishes a chapter I'll have two more waiting for him. XD Love the story by the way, very interesting. Excited to see where it goes.
And here I thought that the actual canon characters showed up. You had me worried for a second there with how Twilight and Fluttershy were acting, there. I'm always interested in a story where I get worried that the author's done something terribly wrong, but it was all part of a misdirection and they knew what they were doing all along. Nice.
Why go to such lengths with a fake set of Mane 6 ponies in a case that seemingly didn't involve them? Is it even the real Ponyville or all an elaborate ruse, Canterlot's in more or less the right spot but the fake Derpy implies they went all out. Why get this in depth with a ruse for a character who wouldn't know better (Amelia's only been a filly for a short period of time)/
I was shocked when Pinkie showed up because I didn't think we'd see any canon characters in this but with everything going down the way it has that doesn't seem to be the case. Who hired these actresses? The Pinkie and R.D. are close (maybe R.D.'s real, maybe not) and the Rarity can talk the talk but not walk the walk (red magic?) but the other three are way off.
3139526
You're the reporter pony, start piecing together a narrative. I may tell you a secret if you get close enough to the truth.
List all of the things that are out of place, that might help.
For a time I was afraid that they really are the Mane 6 and this is going to be some wacky AU with entire Equestria being the bad guys. Somehow. Whew.
If the goblins were planning all of that for Daphne years earlier, does that mean that Leit Motif was fake all along too?
3139853
You'll have to wait and see!
3139290
That's precisely the effect I was going for.
3139195
Rainbow Dash is best played by Rainbow Dash.
3139098
I'll tell you a secret
They aren't changelings. Indeed, if you pay attention, you'll notice some inconsistencies with regards to MLP changelings.
Hilariously, though, they are very similar to the mythical changelings - the ones that kidnap children.
3139195
You'd think if she was doing it deliberately she'd be more... circumspect.
Unless she like thought this was some kind of ren fair / cosplay thing... and got cast as herself because it seemed like a good idea at the time?
That still doesn't explain like half her dialogue though.
When I read that Rarity's magic was red I knew something was up. And that ending only proved it!
3140405
*twilight zone music*
3140096
One of the challenges of first person with only a few perspectives is that I can't really give you information the person isn't aware of - and I'm specifically limiting each section to information they had at the time, too, for the most part. Means there's a lot I need to show that's happening off-screen.
Will be interesting to see what y'all think.
When I first started reading this... I though wait what? Then Raritie's magic being red? uhmmm.. then twilight acting like a stuck up nobel and having a red aura? ok somethings wrong....
however out of everything only one pony seemed to fit correctly.. in fact she seems weird-ed out and confused as well, Rainbow Dash. did the real Dashie replace the actor?
3141474
I love readers who problem solve.
3141526
I'll take that as a compliment.
So Amelia's in the Truman Show? :D
3141738
31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lsvjyqbsS61r1ssano1_500.gif
My stars, every single bit of Amelia and Rainbow Dash interacting was glorious. It makes me so happy when authors manage to get Rainbow this perfectly right. Yes, she's arrogant and obnoxious (to most other characters, at least; I find her swagger incredibly charming when it's written well)... but she also gave a little kid her first flight, just because. A lot of people forget to give her a heart.
I'm glad you made the players' magic auras red and not green, thereby implying they're not changelings. I love the hell out of MLP's changelings, but they carry a lot of fandom baggage with them that may have weighed your story down. You are far better served by making these faery-like OCs, I think. I enjoyed spotting other, less obvious clues about them as well. I think my favorite might be the fake Fluttershy balking at Amelia asking to see reptiles and insects. Real Fluttershy would have been able and happy to do it right away. I mean, she drinks tea with bears and cozies up to manticores. I'm sure she knows where to find snakes and spiders.
Also loved the Arabic at the beginning. You're really rocking the avant-garde auteur aura. And I mean that as a compliment.
3140096
I'm curious to hear what you think—in detail.
3139261
We're horrible people
3142196
This is exactly the sort of comment I love to get.
You nailed all the points I wanted, too. (Though I'm still looking for someone to post a detailed analysis of all the things off about this chapter~)
I felt it very appropriate to post the original context of the qur'an along with the translated verse. That it looks artsy is just a nice bonus.
3142196
"It makes me so happy when authors manage to get Rainbow this perfectly right."
Not sure which one of us—myself or Ether—gets credit for that one. It's probably more Ether's doing. He wrote the story, after all. I'm just rearranging words, fixing grammar, and cleaning up dialogue. Rainbow's was one I payed particularly close attention to, though, trying to get those mannerisms just right for her. Glad to hear it payed off.
3142196
>(to most other characters, at least; I find her swagger incredibly charming when it's written well)
I'm not alone.
3142270
Half the time it seems like RD is just as confused about what's happening, but I find it hard to believe even RD would be that oblivious.
And the other half of the time it seems like she knows something... but she's taking this waaaay too calmly.
And that last conversation with Amelia is just them talking past each other.
Finally the fact that none of the impostors have figured it out is kinda weird.
If RD came here deliberately she's doing a terrible job of keeping it on the down low. And if she's here accidentally, she's doing an amazing job at not freaking out.
3142437
All very deliberate, I assure you. What do you think might account for all of these different factors?
3142324
Rainbow Dash is best Jerk with a Heart of Gold.
3142478
In this case, I believe the term is "
DracoTrixie in Leather Pants."3142488
Just a warning, don't search for that on DeviantArt. Unless you're into that.
3142478
Oh it's quite elementary.
Rainbow Dash is actually Dr. Sam Beckett.
You've updated 2 different stories in one day? WHAT KIND OF SORCERY IS THIS?
Jokes aside, I wonder what'll happen to poor Amelia after this. It's so cruel to be fed lies like though. Oh well, maybe she'll meet the CMC after running away like that...
And the Mane 6 are the genuine articles in this chapter even if it was all staged right? (Sorry that I don't have enough to say for a detailed examination that you've stated you like so much.
).
Edit: Of course they aren't. I assume...
3142549
A hilarious coincidence, actually. Morning Angles finished editing the same time I finished Chapter 5 of Them.
3142538
Twilight Sparkle, as the Element of Magic.
Rarity, and Rarity.
...and Rainbow Dash... as Rainbow Dash.
3142538
3143120
3142270
I didn't want to give a detailed input because I felt like it would be spoilers for those who open the from page of the story and glance at the comments. but you want them so...
*SPOILER WARNING* don't read beyond if you don't want spoilers.
Well, like I said their behavior through me for a loop, so did the red auras. my first though was his author was throwing cannon content out the window like i have seen some do were they give twilight a light blue aura and rarity a purple. thats going into a rant on other authors however so i will stop there. Twilight demanding to be called princess and sipping wine out of a... wait did you start off with her drinking wine from a wine glass then switch to tea from a tea cup?
......... anyways! her acting more like prince blue blood then Twilight just made me gag as I still though maybe the mane 6 rescued her at the start... but once you got to the old door well everything clicked... except for Rainbow Dash.
like I said she was acting confused. and hesitant. sudenly she starts to act like RD.
so this leads me to believe that this is the real rainbow dash. all my possible thoughts:
1. they captured the actor Rainbow Dash, they spilled the beans and real RD infiltrated the village. (this is my most likely guess. the reason the goblins havn't figured it out? they are stupid!
on this note, I'm guessing fetts used his staff to turn a bunch of goblin actors into ponies.
2. Rainbow found this village on accident. while possible and would explain why she in confused... that would ask what happened to the fake RD?
3. Rainbow can into her dopple ganger in the ever free and knocked him/her out and went to investigate the village. more likely then no. 2
4. the actor RD is tired of being on the bad side and wants to help her. most unlikely of the lot.
now clues to why I think all these ponies are goblins.
every unicorn has red auras. this throws everything for a loop. ponies normally have auras colored related to their coat, mane, or their eyes
Twilight refuses to teach unicorn magic, says she needs to be an adult. I'm fairly sure unicorns start learning magic while in school at least.
Twilight teaches her trick magic? ok goblins are known to be tricksters so this fits. however that's basically goblin magic.
Applejack summoning a cigaret.... seriously, if you haven't figured out by now that these guys are real ponies... wow just wow.
i'm not even going to try talking about all the books being ancient. the language thing is possible.
also, no spike, cmc, or any other foals!
also I believe the area they are in is under a glamor.
so all in all, the ponies and goblins, RD is msot likely the read RD and she is a spy!
fc00.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/065/1/1/sneaky_rainbow_dash_vector__redone__by_dipi11-d4phb0m.png
I know everything I have said has probably already been said but I wanted to get that off my chest!
now to go sacrifice more cookies to speed up the next chapter release!
man do I hate the Fae.
3143686
I didn't know goblins were considered fae.
3143454
I prefer macadamia chocolate chip. Soft baked. Chapter five is under my control~
As for everything else...? Interesting... very interesting. I'm not at liberty to discuss these things, as I don't know the whole story behind anything just yet. (though I do know a fair bit. Hehe.
) I will, however, clarify that the teacup was always a teacup. The color of Twilight's magical aura was described as a deep wine red, which is likely where the confusion came from.
I'd play devil's advocate, but it's more fun to watch people pick up the bread crumbs~
3143889 *goes off to find the macadamia butter to add to the cookie mix*
3143911
No no no. Whole macadamia nuts.
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*opens a portal to Hawaii to get fresh whole macadamia nuts*
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I'm not sure i have it in me to list everything else, but I'll give it a shot, because you're good people. Even if I miss some things, I don't want you to think your effort was wasted. Every little detail counts.
-Twilight's haughty noble act. That was a neat allusion to the way Chrysalis acted when impersonating Cadence too. It's like her spies didn't give her much information to go on, so she decided "Well, she's a Princess. Princesses are stuck-up and snooty, right? I'll go with that."
-Her unwillingness or inability to teach Amelia unicorn magic. It could be that she really is too young, since I don't recall having seen Sweetie Belle do any magic on the show yet, but real Twilight would have at least enthusiastically pushed some books about the subject on her.
-Speaking of books, the selection Twilight had here seems extremely limited. Only two books that Amelia couldn't find in a library at home? I call shenanigans. Also their age, as Amelia remarks.
-The newspaper with notes about the mane six. Also Fluttershy's angry reaction to Amelia trying to read it. While I love when Fluttershy gets mad, and her apologetic "Oh Fluttershy, you have such a temper" was spot-on and adorable, I don't think she would get that upset over something that small, even during Putting Your Hoof Down. Unless she were an actor trying to hide something.
-Fake Twilight getting visibly fatigued by one teleportation spell, and not being able to imagine doing more than one, while real Twilight teleports around like it's going out of style.
-Rainbow's obvious discomfort at Twilight's advances (as we later discover, because they had been led to believe that the two were an item) indicated something was up. Maybe the report was completely wrong to begin with, or maybe Rainbow and the real Twilight are now on the outs, but Rainbow clearly wasn't expecting her to act so forward. As a side note, it was a really nice touch that Twilight's actor was genuinely hurt by Rainbow's rejection toward the end of the chapter. I suppose falling for your costars is one of the pitfalls of deep method acting.
-The whole discussion about Celestia. It made sense for Pinkie to exaggerate what she was like, but Fluttershy saying she breathes fire? Either she was being serious, which is totally wrong, or she was being sarcastic, which is totally out of her usual character. Also, Applejack respecting that her will has the force of law, and Rarity begrudgingly admitting that Celestia isn't a complete tyrant. The real mane six adore Celestia, and have never had anything that negative to say about her.
-Applejack hiring help to pick apples, instead of bucking them out like even Dash can.
-The remark that it's weird how Dash never breaks character.
-Rarity having a ton of dresses for foals, in a town that doesn't have any.
-I would say Rarity having once designed armor is also strange... but I desperately want the real Rarity to be that cool too.
-Total lack of Spike throughout the chapter.
One thing I am genuinely confused about though, even with my Critical Thinking Cap on... why does Rainbow dismissively say that it's not important who Spike is? That seems like it would be an indication that it wasn't the real Dash, but everything else in that scene is full of evidence that she's not an actor (such as her surprise that Twilight isn't teaching Amelia real magic). If something has happened with Spike that we'll find out about later, that's fine, but putting it in where it is here makes it seem like a red herring in the mystery of this chapter.
3142281
I'm going to go ahead and give you at least a little credit though. You have, shall we say, a special talent for taking pieces of writing and using them to draw out even better writing from the author.
Rainbow Dash is almost certainly the real Rainbow Dash (and the only real pony around). And she likely knows that everything is fake (she could probably see all the 'backstage' bustle from the air) even if she had somehow stumbled into the entire situation by accident.
During their conversation at the end, she complains to Amelia that 'the thing' has been going for too long as if she expects Amelia to know about the deception. But why be so roundabout? If she got there by accident and didn't know who Amy was, why would she play along and not freak out about a bunch of weirdos impersonating her friends? And if she did know about Amy (presumably from hearing Daphne's story) why wouldn't she use the first opportunity to grab her and get out of there, possibly at supersonic speeds?
One guess is that something is magically messing with her head. The story summary says that unspecified dark forces want to manipulate Amelia into taking control of Equestria using the Golden Bridle. Perhaps Amy's role is more than being a trigger for a magical artifact. Maybe she's a walking Pony Mind Control Device. And Dash did intend to rescue her but then had her brain scrambled and now feels compelled to be a part of Amy's fantasy world while still retaining some awareness and that's why she acts so confused half the time.
What I am absolutely sure of, however, is that when a pony bucks a tree, the apples fall down because the tree is having an epileptic seizure.
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3143686
They can probably safely be classified as Faeries. It is a very broad and indistinct term, I'd imagine.
Also, oh boy, tons of responses today! I will try to go through them
3143454
Not bad, not bad. Nice guesses.
3143889
Bread crumbs are awful to pick up, that's why I outsource them to other people.
3144294
Bronetheus, you are very nearly exhaustive on it.
3146198
Interesting guess~
You know one thing I'm surprised more people haven't picked up on? The fact that the 'background' ponies were rearranging the buildings.
3146778
I noticed this, but I felt like after everything else I mentioned that wasn't needed to be said.
3148113
Awesome, glad you're liking it!
Hopefully we'll have the next one edited in short order as well.
So, changelings? Or changeling-esque creatures? Plus a real, oblivious Dash?
Alternatively, actors?
Confusing chapter is kinda confusing. Not necessarily a bad thing, as long as it doesn't go on too long. Here's hoping that the next chapter sheds some light.
3151981
Here's a hint: Changeling magic isn't red.
Read through the chapter again, try and get a read on what's going on - if not, there are excellent analyses in the comments below!
I won't say if they're right or not, but they get more right than they do wrong.
3152087 Ehh, I read the comments so I saw their analysis, that's enough for me. I have too many other stories to read to spend multiple rereads on a single chapter of one story.
Good news, everyone~
Chapter five just gained about three thousand words, so it should be a much meatier read that it once was.
The bad news being that chapter five just gained another three thousand words, so that adds another couple days to the editing.
We're working on itEther wandered off to read—stay tuned!3156047
La la la~! *prances off*
Though I see we got our fifth dislike this morning. That's a pain. I wish the people downvoting would leave a comment explaining. Be like Amazon reviews.
Rainbow Dash is almost certainly under some kind of mental compulsion. I kept hoping she would take Amelia out of phonysville, but her last scene especially shows that she's confuzzled about what's going on. Also, Princess Twilight's infatuation of RD doesn't seem to me to be an act. She seems genuinely needy of RD.
We only see Canterlot from a distance. Longshot prediction: RD gets a Planet of the Apes scene.
3159846
"You maniacs, you blew it up!"
"But, Rainbow, that's just the Equestria Games venue-"
"Damn you, damn you all to hell!"
Meanwhile, she's completely ignoring the head of a statue of Celestia buried into the side of the mountain...