• Member Since 6th Nov, 2011
  • offline last seen Apr 21st, 2017

Pav Feira


- No Bio provided. Dia II is better, anyway. -

E

Pinkie Pie purchased five of the best balloons in Equestria and tied them to her tail. She had a very special purpose in mind for her balloons, but sometimes life has better plans in store.

Featured story of the Hearth's Warming Care Package, a 26-story anthology written explicitly for Kiki Havivy this holiday season.

Review by Present Perfect

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 28 )

Great story! I read it when EqD posted it up and I downloaded the care package PDF. It's so sweet and cheerful that I feel good just thinking about it.

However, I did notice one typo in the prose and it looks like a page is missing from the Pinkie and Rainbow part.

Other than that, such a colorful tale! Well done!

I don't think I have it in me to write a children's story, but this is pretty damn impressive, Pav. Props for writing an adorably cute, slice-of-life fic, and major props for (presumably) warming that little girl's heart. You're a better man than I. Good work, Pav, and don't ever stop being awesome.

Wow. I—wow. There was an homage to The Room in a children's story. I—there are no words.
dashie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw4756-cfc.png

“Hi, doggie.” :rainbowderp:

Pav... you are my hero.

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See, everyone's all leik "oh, you wrote a nice story for a sweet little girl, you're such a nice guy." Little do they realize that my karma is actually in the red. :trollestia:

Though, there's another reference to something else in this story that no one's yet picked up on. Still waiting for someone to figure it out.

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I admit, my brain kinda switched off right at that point, so I haven't even been able to look for more. I'll try again tomorrow.

And then I remembered that Pav actually writes things.

I can't quite imagine how this would've looked like with solely text. But it's worded in such a way that the pictures complement it well, and everything comes together so nicely. But what hits me the most is how much of a children's story this is. It's crafted for a specific kind of reader and it does feel like it would hit all the right notes, and I appreciate craft like that. Good job!

Simple and sweet. Well done.

Silver out!

I hope this will reach EqD too.

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Thanks! It's already effectively been on EQD by virtue of the whole Care Package being covered in a Nightly Roundup. Truth be told, since it was already "on EQD" in a sense, I hadn't really considered if I should try submitting it separately. :rainbowhuh:

Those were interesting ways for each pony to use a balloon.

I was confused and disappointed at the ending at first – I thought that everypony had just given their balloons back to Pinkie Pie, which would mean that Rainbow Dash’s cloud had splattered on the ground and made a mess. The fact that the illustration of Pinkie answering the knock on the door had the five balloons of the same color reinforced that notion. But now I see that “[…] they each had five of the best balloons in Equestria tied to their tails” – the five others went back to the store and bought 25 more balloons for Pinkie. Maybe it would be clearer if the word “each” was italicized in that sentence.

The illustrations are all very fitting and well-drawn and helped me visualize and understand the story. (Except for that confusing five-balloon picture near the end).

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[…] there's another reference to something else in this story that no one's yet picked up on.

Is that reference that fact that the five other ponies gave 25 balloons to Pinkie Pie in total, and there were 25 other stories in this Care Package compilation?

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Maybe it would be clearer if the word “each” was italicized in that sentence.

Mmm yes, I definitely see what you mean there. The tone & message are a lot different if that one word is missed.

Is that reference that fact that the five other ponies gave 25 balloons to Pinkie Pie in total, and there were 25 other stories in this Care Package compilation?

Interesting! But nope, I can't take credit for that one. The story was written before I knew how many other entries there would be, after all, so it's just a coincidence and nothing more.

"A smile happens in a flash, but its memory can last a lifetime."

June 7th, 2013

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Ah shit, just looking this over brought tears to my eyes. :|

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Yeah... Rereading this last week was painful, to say the least. Still, I'm glad I was able to do what little I could. From what others have told me, this was more helpful than I'll ever be able to appreciate, I think.

Ohmygersh this was adorable. :pinkiegasp: This might actually be the first fic I've read on this site that I can actually recommend to the kids the show was made for. Well done!

Perfectly captures the feel of a children's story, without being trite and childish. Pinkie Pie gives up what she has to make her friends' day better, and they return her kind gesture. Well done. And the writing style was playful and fun. I would recommend it to any english-speaking children I know, but I live in Sweden.

Sweet story. Do you mind if I do a reading of this on my youtube channel? I will of course give you credit for it and a link to it here.

That's so nice and adorable!

Balloons indeed make the day brighter and better.:pinkiesmile:

It's the little things, isn't it? But sometimes they're not so little at all. Thank you.

Love this story! :pinkiehappy: But, right now all the cute pictures are gone due to some changes in Photobucket or something... :fluttershysad:

Dan

Hello from 2018. Please re-host the pics somewhere.

Photobucket has slowly been becoming more and more garbage for a decade now.

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