• Published 17th Jan 2012
  • 1,856 Views, 106 Comments

The Donors - GoesKaboom

The truth about Pumpkin and Pound Cake's parentage.

  • ...

Donors #6305 and #2641

Chapter Two: Donors #6305 and #2641

A/n- this chapter will contain the respective fathers of Pumpkin and Pound Cake- neither of the Cakes will actually be in this chapter, but don't worry, they're coming back and this will be the last of the other dads until... oh, chapter five or so.

Nineteen Months Previously

Outside a high-rise Manehattan apartment, two extremely loud unicorns were engaged in a heated argument. Said argument sounded like something out of a television drama, or something from one of those trashy books most mares and stallions will deny reading but privately hide under their beds or in the laundry room behind the detergent. Mostly being a proper folk, the passing Manehattan ponies pretended that they didn't hear what was going on, but honestly, it was very difficult to ignore. Right outside the ornate glass door, a pale orange unicorn stallion with a wallet for a cutie mark, and a shocking pink unicorn mare with a diamond ring for her defining mark stood shouting at each other.

"I did not marry you so that I could ruin my figure having foals!" the mare shouted. "What do you take me for, a common broodmare? I am not ruining my looks just so that your bucking mother can have a grandfoal! If that was what you were after, then why didn't you go down to the harbor and pick up one of those common fillies? I'm sure they would be more than happy to marry into money! What do you take me for, a cheap low-class filly? I am Ideal Diamond! My father is the vice-president of Haystack Corp.!" The stallion snorted derisively.

"Diamond, you idiot, I know very well who your father is, I see him every bucking day at work! He is my direct subordinate, I'd very well think it would be a bit hard for me to forget something like that!" he exclaimed. "My elder sister was right- you really are a no-good gold-digger." The mare just laughed in his face.

"With your terrible personality, you'd be lucky to even get a 'no-good gold-digger.' I'm so done with you, Moneybags, I'm going to find someone who will appreciate me for who I really am, and buy me everything I want! You'll be hearing from my father's lawyer!" And with that, she snootily stepped off, trotting down the street.

The stallion, Moneybags, cursed under his breath. He'd known when he proposed to her that Ideal Diamond wasn't the sort of mare that he would really want to spend the rest of his life with. His older sister, Trust Fund, had told him about this kind of filly from hre days at finishing school in Canterlot. "They only want one thing, Moneybags, and I'll tell you one thing- it's not your love," she had warned her brother. "They start out acting all nice and sweet, but once they think they've got you hooked, they turn into the pony equivalent of a horde of hungry parasprites! They'll take everything you have, mark my words, Moneybags," she had concluded her dire warning. But after Trust Fund's death in that horrific hot-air balloon accident over Fillydelphia the previous year, the one that killed not only all the passengers in the balloon but sixty-three other ponies on the ground, Moneybags was the only one left in his family line, that could carry on the family name. His mother hadn't ever recovered from her daughter's death- when she was told that Trust Fund was in the hospital, she got it into her head that she was going to be a grandmother, and even after her son and several doctors tried to explain to her that her daughter had passed away from injuries sustained in the accident, she never really gave up on her hope that she was a grandmother, and that her daughter would be showing up any day now, with her children in tow.

Of course, it didn't hurt that Moneybags was the CEO of Haystack Corp., and a marriage to the vice-president of the company would be politically expedient for him. The marriage was not completed out of love, but rather out of convenience. And as such, it had been a rocky relationship from the start, with Moneybags constantly being shocked by the sheer amount of stuff his lovely bride would return with every time she went out. And it seemed to him that Ideal Diamond would go out of her way to spend as much money as possible- most recently she had bought a pashmina from Neighman Marcus for nearly four thousand bits. The next day, Moneybags had seen the exact same pashmina for sale at Manecy's for two thousand bits. So it wasn't like he hadn't known his wife was using him, but it still hurt a lot to be so harshly reminded of that fact.

It was still a shock to the system for him to see how strongly she had reacted. All he had done was mention his mother's desire for a grandfoal, and Ideal Diamond had acted as though he had suggested that she go and kick one of the princesses in the face. She had immediately started shrieking about how having foals would ruin her figure and make her flanks fat, and how she would never debase herself like that. It had led to an argument between the two, both Moneybags himself and Ideal Diamond becoming ever more strident. Finally, with that promise to divorce, Ideal Diamond had stalked off furiously, no doubt to empty the joint bank account before she cut him off permanently. But, Moneybags was alright with that. He didn't actually think that she had the guts to go through with it, but that was fine. He would begin the proceedings the next morning, to do everything possible to get the upper hoof. It might make working with her father a bit awkward for a while, but in the end it would most likely all work out. As it was, Moneybags had the distinct feeling that Onyx Prism didn't really care too much about his daughter one way or another- in fact, the other unicorn got the distinct impression that his subordinate saw his daughter as an annoyance.

Still, though, it was kind of a shame. Not only was Moneybags the last male in his family line, after Trust Fund's death, he was the last in his family line altogether. He would have no heir to take over the Haystack Group, except for maybe his cousin, but that airheaded prep-school stallion had about as much business acumen as a half-eaten turnip.

Sighing, Moneybags was about to go back inside to contact his lawyer, when he suddenly noticed an advertisement innocuously tacked to an electrical pole. Curious, he approached it so that he could better make out what it said. It read:

Want to be part of a scientific breakthrough?

Do you want to create LIFE?

Contact the Equine Reproductive Project today and become a donor! Mares and stallions of any species wanted, 200 bit reward for participation.

Hmmm, Moneybags thought quietly, mulling it over in his mind. Yes. Yes, he would like to be part of a scientific breakthrough, and yes, he did want to create life. He just didn't want to have to deal with the mare involved. He wanted to be a father more than anything. It wasn't just the fact that his mother was desperate to see her grandfoal before she died, he really did want to be a dad. He wanted to be able to see his offspring grow up. He wanted to be able to cheer for them when they played sports- if they wanted to, of course, he wouldn't force them into doing anything they didn't want to do. He wanted to be able to throw them a lavish cuteceƱera when the foal got his or her cutie mark. He wanted to be a father, more than he'd ever wanted anything.

So, he followed the instructions on the poster to contact the Equine Reproductive Project, and went to their office in Midtown Manehattan. He was interviewed by a charcoal-gray pegasus mare with a test tube for a cutie mark, who introduced herself as Dr. Scientific Method. She asked him a bunch of questions about his family history and his own health, ranging from the innocuous, like "Have you ever had a serious illness, like Cutie Pox or Mange?"- to the awkward- "Do you have any siblings? If so, tell me anything you know about their mental and physical health that might be cause for concern,"- to the downright embarrassing: "What was the age when you first mated? Was it with a mare or another stallion?"

After what seemed like ages, Moneybags eventually finished the interview, and the reams of paperwork he was required to fill out, Scientific Method left him in the interview room for about half an hour, then returned with even more paperwork.

"Congratulations, Mr. Moneybags," she said calmly. "You pass our criteria. I will just need you to fill out these forms, and then we can get started. If we do end up using your genetic material and a foal is born, you will receive notification. By signing this contract you are legally bound to allow us to use your genetic material, and that if any foal is born that they would have, if they so choose, once they reach the age of majority, the right to learn of your identity."

"Of course!" Moneybags exclaimed. "Why wouldn't I be alright with that? I'd love to be able to meet my foal!" Scientific Method smiled softly.

"I'm sure you would," she replied. "And if I may say so without overstepping my bounds, any foal would be lucky to have you for a father."

All things considered, once the paperwork was complete, the rest of the procedure didn't take long at all. After a quick physical exam (from a doctor whose hooves were like pure ice- seriously, hadn't that stallion ever heard of hoof-warmers?), Moneybags was led to a small soundproofed cubicle, and the rest of his duties were explained to him. Once he had been sufficiently debriefed on the proper procedure, he was left to complete his business. When he was done, he left the cubicle and placed the tightly-sealed sample in the deposit box, and then waited for a moment. Sure enough, Scientific Method came trotting up the hallway.

"Thank you for your help, Mr. Moneybags," the mare said cheerfully. "And remember what I told you- even though you did meet our requirements, there is no guarantee that you will be selected to be in any experiment. However, if you are selected and a healthy foal is born, you will receive a letter of notice."

"Thank you, Dr. Method," Moneybags replied. "It was wonderful to meet you, and I thank you for your willingness to include me in this most worthwhile endeavor." The scientific mare smiled.

"Please, Mr. Moneybags, call me Scientific. 'Dr. Method' sounds so formal."

"In that case, Ms. Scientific, I'd like to wish you the best of luck with the project, and I hope that you do not have to worry about funding issues for this. If you do, Celestia forbid, ever find yourself in need of financial help, well, after all that paperwork, you know where to find me." Scientific Method laughed.

"Why, of course, Mr. Moneybags! Thank you for the generous offer!"

The two parted ways, both feeling very proud of what they had done. Moneybags was definitely feeling better. Who knew a fight with Ideal Diamond could turn out to provide such a wonderful opportunity! And it was such a pity that he'd ended up saddled with that useless, vapid, featherbrain of a unicorn when there existed intelligent, charming mares like Scientific Method.

The pegasus researcher felt rather giddy as well, as she trotted down the hallways of the laboratory. So far all of the donors for the project had gotten were either destitute and only had shown up for the 200-bit compensation money, or students trying to get a bit of extra credit for their Equine Biology class. But this one... now this was one high-class pony! Surely he would be a great asset to the project!

Three Months Later

"Get off me! Let me go! I never agreed to this- you told me I'd be part of some experiment and that you'd pay me and let me go! Nopony ever said anything about- wait, what are you doing with that thing? GET IT AWAY FROM ME! AAAAARGH!"

Steel Seethe, a light blue-gray pegasus, winced as he heard the loud crashing sounds from inside the examination room, the mare in question apparently doing everything in her power to get away from the doctors. Like him, and like the thirteen other ponies currently in the waiting room, that mare had answered an advertisement put out by the Equine Reproductive Project, offering 200 bits to anypony who came in and was a candidate for their new research project. Steel, along with all of the other ponies currently sitting in the waiting room (and the mare already in the back), had passed the rigorous physical exams, filled out what seemed like all of the paperwork in the entirety of Manehattan, and answered some very awkward personal questions. Apparently, they'd all done something right, because here they were.

But from the sounds coming from inside that room, Steel Seethe was beginning to wonder if this whole thing was worth it. He needed that 200 bits, he wasn't making enough from his locksmith business to support his daughter. Ever since his wife was badly wounded in an accident at the Manehattan weather factory, she had been unable to work. Without the second income, he couldn't afford to pay the rent, buy food, pay his wife's medical bills, and pay his daughter's tuition for that fancy private school. Theoretically he knew he could take her out of her current school, but it was his wife's fervent wish that Lavender Blitz get the best education that Manehattan had to offer.

Eventually, the yelling and thrashing stopped and the door swung open. A rather rattled-looking, bright red Earth pony mare limped out, followed by a lab-coat clad unicorn stallion, who cleared his throat and looked at a chart on the wall.

"Mr. Steel Seethe? Please follow me and we can get started." The mare stamped her hooves.

"HEY! What about my 200 bits, huh?" The doctor turned to her and glared.

"Considering you did not allow us to get the sample we needed and that you very nearly gave Nurse Morphine a concussion when you bucked her in the face, we'll just have to see about whether or not we can spare that money for somepony who didn't even meet the basic requirements," the doctor said grimly. When the mare started to snort and stamp her hooves as though she was getting ready to charge, the doctor hastily hurried Steel Seethe into the back room.

"Alright there, sir, there's an instruction sheet on that table over there. We'll give you forty-five minutes to complete your task, and then you'll just have to meet with Quick Notes to collect your money."

"Wait, what happened to that mare? Is it painful?" Steel asked nervously, remembering the pained, panicked yelling from earlier. The doctor just smirked at him.

"Oh no, it's not painful at all. Well, not for stallions, anyway." With that, the doctor shut the door behind him as he left the room, leaving the other stallion alone with the necessary equipment and the instructional sheet.

Once he realized exactly what he was supposed to do, he felt the blood drain from his face, and all his other extremities. Nopony had told him that... that the research would be based on... on something like that! He was about to march on out of there and tell that doctor that there had been a mistake, he was not about to clop into a test tube, and that this was not what he had signed up for. But then, he remembered that he had an unpaid tuition bill sitting on top of the rickety old table in his dingy apartment. There was also no doubt in his mind that the school administration would expel his daughter in a heartbeat if he didn't manage to come up with the money by the tuition deadline. And even if he did borrow money from his savings, he wouldn't be able to pay for his wife's medical bills as she slowly recovered from the accident. All he needed for the tuition was 175 more bits, but the medication that was supposed to help numb the pain in his wife's damaged wings was also 175 bits- it was one or the other, unfortunately, unless he made this choice.

Gritting his teeth, Steel Seethe decided that he would just have to pony up and deal with it, at least if he wanted to keep his daughter in her school and be able to pay for the necessary medical help for his wife.

Once he'd finished what needed to be done, Steel Seethe put the materials in the designated containers and shuffled out of the room as discreetly as possible. He reconnected with the doctor, who led him to another small cubicle, where an extremely bored pony sat counting out bits into a cloth satchel. Steel received the bits and listened to the mare tell him the standard spiel that she probably told everypony that came through. "By participating in this study you hereby give the Equine Reproductive Project the rights to everything you've signed, and with full knowledge that a foal may result from your participation. You will be informed if and when a foal is born, and while you will remain mostly anonymous, your information may be made available to said foal when he or she comes of age."

"Yes, yes, that is fine," Steel said quickly, wanting to get out of there as quickly as possible. This was definitely not the proudest moment of his life- essentially, he was selling himself. Ostensibly it was for science, but it still felt... almost borderline illegal. The mare regarded him cooly for a moment, before double-checking to make sure he had received all of the bits he was entitled to.

"That you for participating in the project," she said, before waving a hoof at him dismissively. Steel Seethe shot of the clinic like his wings were on fire, heart beating furiously. He'd done what he needed to do to raise the money he needed. He'd technically done a good thing- he'd secured his daughter's education, at least for another year, and had made sure that his wife would be able to get the medical care she needed, as well as helped to further Equestria's medical technology. He'd been patriotic and a good father and husband all in the same day: by all rights, he should have been feeling pretty good about himself. But somehow, he had the distinct feeling that he had opened an entirely new can of worms of potential problems. Only time would tell whether or not his hunch was correct...