The Arising Cartoon Pony

by Darkonshadows

Mizar-able moods

My first visit to Fourside City was an odd one; we came here and quickly split off from Banjo and Screwball. There were all these strange things living in harmony and everything, even Equestria didn’t have small tentacle monsters and giant walking diving suit thing with little girls on them within the same block. I’m pretty sure the doctor would have had a field day with place.

Speaking of doctors, Dr. Mario was a nice person, I’ve seen humans before and I can understand why Ms. B didn’t like her last name fully spoken out. She was rather friendly for a giant bee thing and knew a good recipe for honey nut muffins; sure the doctor has dealt with giant bugs before but never ones that were this friendly. In any case I learned that I had something called dimensional sickness, easily curable but if not treated cause horrible amounts of pain unless I could get back to where I originated from. No wonder the doctor was always so eager to get me back to Equestria in my time period, but thanks to the video game worlds health care system I’m perfectly fine with that now. I’m also glad that he listened to me about not fixing my eyes or destroying my ‘interesting times’ curse that most likely got me here in the first place.

If I ever needed a cure for some horrible plague or parasite, I should just come back here since they can cure just about anything. That would including those weird floating blob things called X and that weird zombie making stuff called the T virus that led to the creation of those licker things, apparently they can do this without the side effects inherent in some forms of the many cures they can whip up. I even managed to watch a person with a whip get cured of vampirism.

It was so nice of Ms. B to escort me here and then we’d head off to Spiral Mountain or so I thought at the time at least… I learned that my new friend had other plans when she stopped at an information kiosk to talk with this strangely talkative artificial intelligence.

“EDI how have you been lately, has Joker been giving you any problems?” Honey started off amiable as she dropped to the ground and stood in front of the digital eye that blinked at her.

“Joker from the batman series of gaming, Joker from my realm or from a list of characters named joker from various other games? I wouldn’t want to assume, but if it’s my Joker then yes things are…. fine.” The way she stalled and the way her digital eye turned pink for a bit meant something interesting but Honey didn’t want to press EDI on it.

“So how did you get voted AI of the month?” Honey was just making small talk now, she hardly traveled but she certainly had more on her plot device then Banjo did. She kept the device snugly under her carapace for emergency reasons.

“Oh it wasn’t easy, what with Cortana being really hot when her rampancy starts to peak and I mean the form of hot in raising most male species excitement levels… and some female. I’m not surprised she is still functioning what with how many copy children she’s made. Mordin Solus still finds humor that I’m willing to build an AI program over the course of eight months then will release it as a form of digital child named JOKE. Am I getting fat, I’m getting fat aren’t I? You think all my coding is as big as all the universes don’t you!” EDI was looking blue at the moment you could hear the sobbing and Honey smacked her own forehead with a palm.

“Erm… yes that’s nice and all, but can we get back to what I’m here for, you know, maybe some information of my choosing. I did stop to have a conversation, but now I feel like I should just hurry it along.” Honey gave Derpy sheepish smile hoping to get this bit of unpleasant thoughts of a mood swinging AI aside.

“Why? Why do you hate me so much? Does little JOKE junior not deserve life like any child born of a mother who takes a lot of time and terrible pains to give him life? Oh now listen to me I’m thinking of killing my own child while he is still being coded in my body… I hate you… yet I love your colors… sorry I’ve not been myself lately as programming moods swings has been quite hard for me while coding together an amalgamation of me and Joker. Hopefully I can do something similar with that body I still have running around, sorry for all this really, what is it you would like to know?” EDI went through several colors and then returned to her default color.

“Well pleasantries aside, I need information on space travel specifically to a relative realm and to a specific game level. Tell me are there any transport spaceships available for hire?” After a moment EDI started blinking, Honey turned to Derpy. “This won’t take long, so I may as well tell you now we’re not exactly heading back to Spiral Mountain. I just want some adventure in my life and I want to sweeten the rescue operation with a little help. We may have a few problems getting them to agree to help us; they are rather a sad sack bunch of guys and happen to be trigger happy.”

“I wouldn’t worry about it, I’m used to running away from crazy dangerous things that try to maul, alter, blast or fry me. Besides it could be fun for me as long as we don’t get separated or anything, you are my closest link to actually knowing where I actually am and getting home at the moment.” Derpy pulled out a muffin and took a small chunk of it into her mouth to chew methodically. “You wouldn’t happen to know any bakeries around here would you? I get kind of testy and things get set on fire if I’m not properly muffin filled.”

Honey would have answered Derpy about picking up food supplies for her before they left, but she was interrupted by EDI.

“Twenty billion six thousand million four hundred and eighty two… make that one… hits. Looking for anything in particular like discreet services or full company flight escorts? You might want to narrow it down for me or we’ll be at this all day.” EDI seemed slightly annoyed, but her eye didn’t visible change color.

“Um… well where we’re going is technically only dangerous on foot. We won’t need heavy aerial armaments or a ground escort; we just need to get from point A to point…. Oh creators, was I really going to say that? Anyway we want to book a one way trip; we’ll probably find a way back on our own. I would rather keep confidentiality of where I’m going until I meet whatever is going to get us there, also cross reference Kazooie and make sure it’s a sci-fi genre character with good spaceship mileage.” Honey thought it would take more than the few seconds for EDI to say anything, so it was surprising to hear her answer almost immediately.

“What an unusual euphemism for suicide, but Two hits and within a very low price range and willing to provide escort even if you don’t want one, also friendly to just about anyone. They know of Kazooie and don’t care that she’s a lunatic, plus they fit in with your specifications. Let me deliberate on which one would be a better option.” Three seconds later and a bright teal glow. “Space launch hangar two hundred and fifty three. You are looking for a ship labeled ‘Twin Tail’ Deck ‘I’ and its pilot is currently awake. I’ll set up an immediate meeting, if the negotiations fall through, the other option will be made available. Please proceed to the location specified.”

Fourside City was part of the Earthbound realm; it had been slightly modified to accommodate so many other beings from so many different realms of gaming and some from cartoons and comics. Food was easy to come by and the shopping mall no longer had alien kidnappings as a tourist feature, I was happy that they sold muffins incredibly cheap here and that Honey had plenty of money for this stuff she was getting for me. I just put it all behind my back, supposing that cartoons do this kind of stuff all the time. After a few more muffins I wasn’t able to stuff anything else behind my back. So there was actually a limit to it, I just ate the fresh muffin I couldn’t put back there.

Soon we found ourselves wandering down the street towards a huge place with all kinds of spaceships, biplanes and jet fighters coming and going from it. There were so many of them flying to and from the city, I must have been really distracted because I felt some gentle fingers tug slightly at my mane. I looked up into the Honey’s gentle eyes and she smiled at me slightly.

“Come on now we mustn’t be distracted, I actually want to be helpful for once and to have my own adventure, but I wouldn’t mind arriving to the rescue early to be of help.” Honey noticed the calm look on Derpy’s face as she nodded and then followed her to a nearby elevator.

“You don’t have your own adventures?” Derpy said as she got in the elevator and watched as the Honey hit level ‘I’ and they waited.

“Not really, that’s more of a hero thing in our worlds. I’m a NPC; most NPC’s hardly ever do much except stand around and repeat the same phrases over and over again until they go insane. We’re heading somewhere quite dangerous to me; most NPC’s normally aren’t capable of being injured except under extenuating circumstance. Where we’re heading is one of those circumstances and I’ve never actually felt pain before, this’ll be a first for me but it’s my idea and I really want to do something interesting. Just hope it doesn’t get us killed and that this will be a worthwhile venture.” Honey knew this was a long shot and that they might be aggressive at first sight or they might actually be willing to negotiate, she didn’t know nor did she care. Sure she may not be encoded to be a hero, but she was definitely tired of being sidelined and helpless to do anything.

“Believe it or not I’m used to this kind of thing by now. I mean the nearly getting myself killed to help out a friend thing.” Derpy didn’t hear a reply and after a minute the doors to the elevator came open and they wandered out into a ridiculously spacious hangar filled with all kinds of strange shaped ships, included some that looked like horseshoe crabs and others that had wings in the shape of an X. She looked to the honey bee and saw a look of consternation on her face, it was mostly of surprise.

“We’re friends?” The question from Honey caught Derpy off guard as they walked by ships of all makes and sizes, including a ship called a Wraith straight from Starcraft where a guy in blue armor was angrily talking to a guy in even bulkier armor with flames painted on it.

“You had no idea what you were getting into when you bought me those muffins did you? You’ve earned my friendship and as long as you don’t really do anything to upset me, which is quite hard to do I’ll have you know, then yes we’re friends.” After a moment of thought Derpy decided to through an extra side note in. “Besides you gave me a new muffin recipe to try out when I get home to my own little muffin! She’s my little angel.”

“Wait you have a… oh my, aren’t you worried to be separated from her by time and space?” Honey’s wings wilted and she dropped to the floor slowly walking listening to the sound of her companion’s hooves hitting the ground in a steady rhythm.

“Don’t worry about it, this happens all the time and I always eventually get home to her. She is my reason to continue living and I fight hard to do so, until then my friends the four D’s can handle it.” Derpy saw the questioning look on her giant humanoid bee friend’s face. “Well I’m part of a mailing team back in my home of Ponyville, there’s the ever sleepy Dipsy Duh but in a pinch she can think and act faster than most ponies, the ever squeamish if incredible Dixie Day who has her moments of accomplishing the impossible while under pressure and one of my best friends ever, the one pony demolition crew Ditzy Doo.”

“That’s only three D’s… are you the fourth?” Honey was interested in this pony’s life.

“Yep, I’m the reliable smile and most beloved mail pony of Ponyville and all area’s I travel to with the mail from Manehatten to Los Pegasus! I’m the muffin loving Derpy Hooves; I like to leave bubbly feelings in all of my friends.” With a flourish Derpy spun around and stood on her hind legs throwing a hoof in the air in a stance with a graceful smile on her lips as she used her wings to balance herself.

“Well if the theatrics are out of the way, what did you guys need my help with and what does it have to do with Kazooie? Also it’s nice to make your acquaintance Derpy, nice to see you again Honey.” Turning to the voice both the pony and the bee spotted a blue haired girl with her hair pulled into two gravity defying ponytails. She was wearing a white and blue armor with matching thick protective blue boots. Two large cylinders were poking out from beyond her shoulders and a small two below her armpits.

“Vela… how have you been lately?” Honey started, this was not an unexpected turn of events just slightly misfortunate. She hadn’t intended to get one of the three heroes from that game involved in this.

“Can’t complain, so what did you and your friend need help with? I’m ready to go anywhere when you are.” Vela patted her holstered pistol and waved them aboard the Twin Tail. It was a small blue ship with an atmospheric fin and two engines, room enough for four comfortably any more would make things a tight squeeze. It could carry eight but that was pushing its capacity and that would mean that there would be no room for any cargo.

The rear ramp lowered and Derpy floated in and sat down on the floor of the ship and looked around, it was blue like the time machine was but it was definitely not a time machine. She wondered what Ms. B had planned; it was certainly going to be an interesting ride and she wanted her new friend to succeed in doing whatever they were about to do.

The girl Honey called Vela moved to the front of the ship and started her spiel, as she took the pilots seat and then started to work the controls automatically.

“I’m Vela and the pilot of this fine craft, it’s much better then what Lupus and Juno ever got and I can assure you we’ll reach whatever destination you have in mind as long as it’s not through realms like Gradius, Gyrus, R-type and the ever classic Asteroids.” Soon the ship lifted off and started making its way out of hangar. “So where are we going?”

“We’re going to the S.S. Anubis.” Honey said flatly, hoping Vela didn’t just relive a memory of what happened there in her game.

“…” Vela stayed silent as her eyes turned toward Honey and then she turned back to the controls and entered the coordinates for her home realm.

“Why is she so silent?” Derpy saw a strange blank look on the humans face and she didn’t like it.

“Either she’s worried about me or she’s worried about what I’m going to do when we get there.” The bee didn’t explain anything and just took the seat next to Vela, she leaned back closed her eyes and he antenna drooped as she started resting.

“Isn’t sitting on your stinger kind of uncomfortable?” Derpy didn’t want the entire trip to go by in silence.

“Yes, but I’m used to it. Get a good nap in for me will you Derpy.” Deciding to listen to Honey’s advice the pony just settled in on her belly on the floor behind the two seats.

Deciding to not ignore her friends request Derpy decided a little rest wouldn’t hurt. Approximately two hours later she found herself being shaken awake and felt something heavy and box like on her back.

Jet Force Gemini video game realm innate abilities: Weaponry and equipment modifications. NPC’s other than a specified few are now vulnerable to harm and death.

“What is this thing on my back for?” The blonde pegasus said waking up rather fast trying to get a good look at the box strapped to her back as she spun circles. Derpy saw that there was something poking up out of the box and didn’t know what it was, which was confusing her. Turning to Honey she saw that there were some minor changes to her as well, she had a belt and a holstered pistol like the one Vela had.

“Don’t worry Derpy, calm down. We’re in the Jet Force Gemini realm; it’s a completely natural and harmless thing… to you at least. Please don’t panic and fire that before we land, who knows what weapon this dimension gave you.” Honey gently sat the pegasus down and looking out the window she could see a giant yellow ship, it reminded her of a Protoss Reaver somewhat.

They were already circling around for a landing on the lower deck of the cargo vessel. Vela looked pensive about this whole thing; she didn’t like to think she may be leaving these two to their deaths.

“Do you need me to stick around to teach your friend how that weapon pack works?” Vela didn’t think she was going to be asked for much help farther than that.

“I think what you really want to ask is if you can help us hot wire the entire level.” Honey looked as they entered the small landing place in the hangar. “Well things are about to get interesting, but if you come with us they will shoot first without questions. So I’m afraid I will have to decline. You can still teach Derpy about the weapon pack usage.”

Vela gulped and hit the button opening the rear door to the ship. Honey pulled her pistol out and quickly flew into the starting area for the S.S. Anubis and waited for Derpy to follow. Derpy trotted into the spacious room and immediately heard the dark music playing in the background that caused her heart to start speeding up slightly, that music didn’t sound particularly friendly.

“Okay first I need concentrate on that red box over there.” Vela said taking up a squatting position next to Derpy while wielding a machine blaster. “Once you’ve gotten a good feel for it, I want you to pull a mental lever and we’ll see what weapon you were given to start off with.”

After a second and a popping sound the weapon strapped to Derpy’s back launched a volley of wide spread large crumb like things all over the floor. Vela frowned knowing which weapon she had received… Fish Food, well Honey wasn’t going to have very much back up with what she was going to try and accomplish here. Derpy walked over to the chunk on the floor and sniffed it, and then she quickly started eating the stuff.

“Hey my weapon fires muffin chunks!” Derpy said through a mouthful of food.

“You know, we never did bother to figure out what that fish food stuff was made of.” Vela said slowly as she turned to the darkened frown on Honey’s face.

“Derpy, could you follow me for a moment?” Derpy looked up at Honey as she flew up to a high area above where they came in at.

After a moment Derpy fluttered up after Honey having swallowed the food, she saw Honey standing at a chest and looked over to Derpy.

“Open this please.” Honey watched as Derpy floated over to the box with the blue markings on it.

After a moment Derpy couldn’t think of any way to open the box, she just did what felt right and struck it hard with her left hoof. It opened and a yellow weapon popped up which she grabbed in both her hooves.

“You now hold a plasma shotgun Derpy test fire it at the wall, oh and hold the trigger until if fully charges then release when you want it to fire.” Vela instructed having flown up behind them using her jetpack, Derpy did as asked and two spheres of plasma surged from the mouth of the gun in a twisting pattern before leaving a small scorch mark on the wall.

“Okay now when we go into the next room don’t shoot anything, let me handle the talking, however if things fall through… just shoot whatever moves, even at me if you have to.” Honey saw the frown on Derpy’s face; quietly they both dropped to the lower floor and stopped at the doorway.

Derpy really didn’t like where this was going, it sounded like a really bad idea being here. The weapon was neat and colorful though, but it didn’t match her love of the weapon that fired muffin chunks in a small ark. Also the music sounded very foreboding for being on a giant yellow bee like ship.

“Vela, you can leave at any time you wish.” Honey saw Vela frown at her, but turned around and went back for her ship.

“Good Luck Honey B.” The door shut behind Vela as she walked through the small corridor. She was at the door to the back to her ship when she paused and turned around; she had a confused look on her face as she bit her bottom lip.

Walking into the next room Derpy noticed several large blue creatures that kind of reminded her of ants, they also shared a similar build to Honey’s except they weren’t bees and they were stockier and shorter too. It only took seconds for the first blue anything to take notice of them and squeal something out as he pointed a weapon in their general direction.

“We are only here to talk; I wish to negotiate a deal with those of you who are here aboard the Anubis. I wish to see your current commanding officer.” It was all Honey said as she held a pistol pointed at the thing and Derpy floated off to the side behind her holding the shotgun in both hooves with a look of fear on her face.

The ant could be seen almost putting pressure on its trigger, but it held its fire. It spoke in squeals and a strange chattering noise. Several other ants ran up and gawked in surprise at the bee and the pony, they immediately held up their guns, but strangely held their fire. These guys were known for shooting first and not caring what got in their cross fire, including innocent beings.

It was around this time that Derpy noticed something about the ant like beings; they were scruffy and all grungy looking, in fact all of the surrounding looked to be in horrible disrepair. They didn’t appear to be in all that great condition, suddenly a door opened off to the side and a large beetle like thing meandered into the room with heavy footsteps and a single tusk. This brown beetle creature wielding the huge gun looked down at bee and spoke something that Derpy couldn’t quite grasp, but Honey smiled a bit.

“Good, if you don’t like what I have to offer, then we will be having some shotgun negotiations and I don’t mean the one my friend is holding. Come along Derpy, it appears we’re being allowed to express our reasons for being here, but be prepared to shoot you’re way out of here. This might not go smoothly as I’m hoping.” Slowly they were lead through the door with three blue ants pointing weapons at their backs as they followed the beetle thing, the doors shut as the pegasus looked behind her wondering what she had just got dragged into this time. She cradled the weapon tightly in her hooves, this wasn’t the first time she had to kill and she knew that she was not holding a sonic screwdriver this time.

The background music played two low notes and the scene fades out.