The Arising Cartoon Pony

by Darkonshadows

Preparing for the Sandstorm

“We’re converging with the S. S. Anubis and the Great Fox, anything on radar Honey?” Turning to the bee with a headset on her head Banjo noticed she was tapping a few things at the console.

“More than a fifty thousand ships surrounding the planet from multiple different game realms, Dune, Starcraft, Star Wars Battlefront, Rogue Squadron and even a few from the Gundam realms… how are we going to survive this? That’s not even half of them and there’s enough to rip through coding purely on the principle of awesome.” Honey’s eyes wandered the console for the moment. “The Space Pirates that split off and went planet side aren’t immediately following us up. I think Kazooie is keeping them and Ridley quite busy. She’s always such a pest, but at least she has our abdomens handled.”

“Yeah, I’ve got to wonder how hard it is to fight Ridley without a power suit. Kazooie has the armaments, but not the protection and I think the saving grace is that’s she’s maneuverable.” Banjo turned his head to Honey and grinned. “Bet she dies less than three times fighting him.”

After thinking it over Honey decided to take that bet. “You’re on, winner chooses picnic location this time and I say she dies at least four or more times against him.”

“So that aside what are we going to do, there’s no way we’re flying into all that and we’re already getting close to the action to nearly be taking missed shots that weren’t meant for us…” Rubbing his chin with a paw Banjo had an idea. He’d ask a Kazooie they always seem to know what they were doing when half the time it was just cunning spur of the moment stuff. Banjo hit the communications. “Khronozooie, Kazooie might be a bit slow catching up to us what should we do?”

“Well I’m not exactly flying a fighter style ship here, at least eagle ride armor works just as effectively in space. I’ll get Fox and Goombella on the horn to have a short conference with them, we have plenty of time to make a plan and follow through with very few casualties.” It was then that Banjo’s audible gulp warned Khronozooie of something wrong. “Okay what did the other me do this time?”

“Do the words ‘Wing Zero’ mean anything to anyone?” The immediate reaction was dead silence as even Fox and Goombella had, upon hearing the words ‘Wing Zero’, immediately froze in horror. The immediate thoughts among all of the heroes and their supporting allies was a very summarily loud ‘oh crap’ in them.

“Please tell that was a joke, anything but that… we breegulls are notorious jokers after all and… it’s not a joke is it?” Khronozooie almost bashed her head into the control panels of her machine as she set it down on the S. S. Anubis where a bunch of Mizar Ants were milling about. “Alright everyone what do we have to work with and make it quick, because there is absolutely no way I can fix this with time travel!”

“How long do we have?” Fox asked preparing to pull another Area 6 run; he started to run a check on his friend’s arwings to see if they were operational. Shields were nominal with a few repair runs through the Great Fox with a few ship repairing power ups to fly through.

“Fifteen minutes at least, we’ll need a plan in two. Say how many minerals did Kazooie leave for those SCV’s to make repairs?” It was around this time that Khronozooie stated this that Goombella currently inside the S.S. Anubis had an idea, a smile lit up her face.

With the three ponies, Screwball was rubbing her eyes with her hooves and then looked at Lyra and Derpy asking the obvious question. What had exactly happened and why was she down two lives? The last thing she remembers is putting a pie in her mother’s chest and quite roughly at that.

“Oh, well the Storm Owl thing killed you and then you turned all black and scary! Then your mother got into a fight with you. You both are alive though so everything is okay. Oh and I defeated Storm Eagle and Lyra defeated Storm Owl and we got powers from them.” Derpy’s cheeriness and quick explanation notwithstanding, Screwball was having one heck of a chaos powered headache.

“Yeah speaking of earning powers from those things, I don’t even know how to use mine or what it exactly does!” Well it certainly seemed that the lyrist was grumpy; being called Spoony all the time would seem to be the bigger reason why instead of all the near death stuff she’s been through.

“Well gee that’s weird, I certainly know how to use mine and it can do two things… hope I don’t hurt any pony with it by accident. It combines my natural pegasus talent with my special talent.” Well that was rather uninformative for the two other ponies sitting in a large square metal room.

Speaking of the room they were in, there were four ants in strange floating mechanical contraptions and the others were standing around looking bored. There was this yellow one standing near Derpy at all times glaring warily around and hefting a round sphere in its right clawed hand.

“Everyone prepare to be dropped aboard the S. S. Anubis! Khronozooie please pick up the Flying Brick once we’ve all dropped from it or my sister will kill me for losing it later. You know she would do it too, even if I am her brother! Well ‘maybe’ she wouldn’t if I didn’t have any extra lives left, but you can still imagine what she could cook up to torture me with.” The sweet lazy bear sounded to be actually worried about his life, knowing exactly who his sister was. Everyone around knew she could make it like hell for him.

Video game partner characters were your best buddies, until you have personally earned their ire that is and the partner in question usually had the skills of annoying any hero into the ground. Kazooie was no exception in having this talent as it was the first talent she truly mastered.

“I’m ejecting everyone right now!” That proclamation from Banjo was met with the immediate feeling of falling.

Lyra was holding onto the bed as they fell through space and landed on top of the S.S. Anubis and it would take a minute for her to release her death grip from the sudden impact. Derpy just flew down and landed besides all the dazed ant troopers and the four SCV pilots. Screwball however was just staring out into the vast expanse at the beauty of the battle taking place in the not so far off distance. Behind them the Land Master the seldom forgotten Canadian Banjo was driving landed with a dull thud.

The ponies all moved away from the bed to stare at the beauty of space without the need for spacesuits or a nitrogen oxygen base. The ponies just stood there staring at all the arcs of beams, missiles, bullets and other things shooting across the vastness of space.

Honey hovered down next to Derpy and Banjo had flopped onto his face with a grunt, above them Khronozooie flew her ride armor by sweeping up the drop ship into her red backpack. Only Lyra took this in with a dropped jaw, the Mizar Ants were unimpressed and Screwball as well as Derpy has seen more interesting things. She landed and picked up the bed stuffing it into her backpack as well.

“Okay get those SCV’s to work, if you want all your friends especially the ‘bubble lead’ flank to survive endgame! You there, get those ponies inside the ship. We’re going to ram it through the fleets at a break everything speed and you don’t want them to be out here when those fleets turn some of their guns on us.” After confirming that she was understood and that the SCV’s immediately started building, Khronozooie turned her communications to Fox and took off to join the other two flying ride armors.

Quote jumped up and into his chimera ride armor and looked to Curly Brace flying nearby and held up a arm and waved at her, she smiled and nodded. She’d survive this come hell or high water; she’s already survived both before so this wasn’t much of a problem. Sparkster just narrowed his eyes at the nearby hostile ships coming to meet them; he raised the charging cannon of his eagle preparing for battle.

“Retch says we have to get inside really fast, what will the rest of you be doing?” Derpy turned to the ants along with Retch pointed at the Space Construction Vehicles currently in the midst of finishing a nearly complete Command Center. Retch squealed that they were going to build a lot of construction vehicles then build a perfectly viable defense on limited resources. “Oh okay, be safe then if you’re going to be stuck out here.”

Derpy turned and motioned for the two other ponies to follow her and they did. The muffin lover had quickly learned the ins and outs of the S. S. Anubis, thus she knew her way around as they entered a nearby hatch. They were swiftly followed by Banjo, Chaos, Honey and Ristar.

“This is Goombella; I’ll take charge coordinating the SCV’s building the defenses. Fox you need to handle any incoming fighters before they can get too close at least until we’re ready to punch a hole through that mess; can you do me a favor and have the Great Fox fly in front of us when we get going? Khronozooie, I hope you don’t need to be told to protect the ants building the fortifications you’ll be the short range defenses. Quote you’ll be the last line of defense as your machine doesn’t fly, but it can certainly do some damage.” Goombella was on the bridge with the Mizar Beetle captain, she turned to him, he nodded to her and she continued. “All other hero’s inside the ship should split up and spread out to cover every area. On the orders of Captain Gibs all other Mizar forces not part of those volunteer fortifications crew on top of the ship, you will be regulated to handling hostile incursions as they happen we are on red shirt alert. My Met friends will set off alerts depending where this ship is breached and by what is doing the breaching if it occurs at all.”

“This is Fox, how much time do you need to build those fortifications?” The three ponies were already entering the bridge as Goombella was busy ordering the ants on a screen to build rocket turrets on top of the S.S. Anubis while motioning with her right foot in the air.

“Two minutes and we’ll go in anyway, no matter what state we’re in. I’m an RPG character and despite being of good intellect I’m not a real time strategist. On top of that I’m a Goomba, not a miracle worker or from a species that is known for performing miracles that all the heroes I know tend to pull out of their butts. So everyone listening in please don’t go relying entirely on me since I’m doing what I can!” Goombella turned away from Foxes image as it blipped out and already had seven SCV’s building missile turrets, as many as she could packed together and as many as the SCV’s could feasibly get away with building. The blonde Goomba was under a bit of stress since she was rescued by Vela after having got held up in escaping the jamming array facility.

“So we’re free to just sit around and… hey what’s this on my back?” At this point Lyra had finally noticed that she and Screwball all had strange packs on their backs.

“Yes, they’re back!” Derpy fired a smattering of muffin chunks at the ground and started to greedily take them up in her mouth after that she pulled out her plasma shotgun, conveniently fully loaded.

“That can’t be sanitary… do all of our strange backpack thingy’s do that?” Out of all the strange beings she’s recently met Lyra kind of found Honey to be easiest to talk and relate to. Given Honey was the only NPC on deck it made some twisted sort of sense.

“No they all carry weapons, I started with this pistol and it’ll thankfully never run dry of ammo. Just remember that as soon as you leave the Jet Force Gemini realm, which this ship is a part of no matter its distance from the actual realm, your weapon will disappear unless you are assisted by a video game character in keeping them. Derpy oddly enough started with a muffin firing mechanism; also it is actually pretty sanitary compared to the Bad Fur Day realm. I still don’t know why someone would picnic there of all places, it’s a rather crappy spot… then again they were giant dung beetles.” Mused honey as Screwball stood on her hind legs and pulled out one of Jet Force Gemini’s most deadly weapons. This earned the attention of every Mizar ant and beetle in the room not to mention the heroes as well. “Screwball you may want to put that away, you’re kind of making everyone nervous dear. Nobody wants a Tri-Rocket Launcher going off in here.”

“What’s to worry about, it looks about as big as your pistol does so it can’t be all that bad.” Again Lyra was trying to ignore all the intricacies of whatever reference Honey was trying to make. After a moment, of prodding at her pack a strange weapon popped out of it and landed in her hoof.

“It would actually be that bad considering it can one shot everyone here on the bridge, never fire that with allies anywhere near where you’re aiming.” The noted seriousness in the humanoid bee’s eyes had Screwball nodding and putting the gun back where it came from.

“So what did I get?” It was the prospect of getting a new toy to mess around with and possibly help out when firefights started.

“Well that there’s a Shocker.” It was a weapon Banjo was familiar with; the last time he visited this particular realm he got one too. Speaking of which he still had it on him whenever he came into the Jet Force Gemini realm, but he preferred the machine blaster which he was currently holding.

“So it does something really neat then?” Lyra was rather hopeful despite the bored looks she was getting.

“It’s a Shocker.” Honey finally said after a moment, it wasn’t lost on her that Spoony would get the least lethal thing onboard a ship of volatile hero’s and especially well equipped laser armed ants. Maybe she should help Derpy keep her plasma shotgun instead of letting it disappear when she exits the realm? Well they were friends, even if it was a bit odd given Derpy seems like a constant little ray of sunshine no matter the dire situation. Especially the one she currently kind of indirectly caused by dragging all those fleets here behind them.

“I know it’s shocking, but what does it do?” Lyra pressed levitating the small two pronged device in front of her.

Banjo sighed and decided to pull the mint green pony off to the side to explain. Lyra was quite disappointed that Screwball started off with something overly lethal in comparison to Derpy and herself.

The bridge was quiet and the mood was a bit gloomy as ants sat at keyboards and were directing the ships functions, there was one keeping the communications streamlined for Goombella’s convenience by order of urgency.

“So what do we do now?” Derpy wasn’t sure what they should be doing, but she didn’t want to be sitting around. It would make her, to put it in the form of a pun considering the situation, antsy.

I looked around the bridge and saw that everyone was concentrating on their jobs yet the three of them didn’t have jobs, Banjo and Honey had already left the room to go help defend the hold of the ship since the missile turrets that were being built wouldn’t cover the S. S. Anubis from attacks that came from below it and the sides of the ship would at least be partially protected. Ristar and Chaos were still present; Chaos was staring at me strangely too.

Honestly I didn’t know what we were going to do, sitting back and watching everything seemed like a good idea at this point. There was something gnawing at my insides, aside from phantom aches of pain I never experienced before I woke up, I felt completely healthy. Said phantom pain felt like I had my neck snapped, my shoulders dislocated violently, my spine nearly shattered, my back right hoof ripped itself apart and my front two hooves felt really sticky for a few minutes. I wasn’t really in any pain and there was nothing on my hooves given they were perfectly clean. Apparently I lost two lives went psycho and tried to kill mom, my friends and everyone in the general area. At least I remember that I hit mom with a pie at the last minute, which was as much as I knew.

“Sit back and enjoy the ride, I’ve never seen this many heroes congregating together unless something important was happening. Quote, Sparkster and Ristar were originally here just to aid me in my research and possibly to pull my buns out of the fire if my disguise faltered. Thanks for that by the way guys, good job pulling my butt out of the fire like Vela certainly did. Speaking of that, you guys come in dragging Vela, two Banjo’s and a Kazooie, along with Fox McCloud’s team and two supporting characters.” Goombella continued to dish out commands and they could see scenes of a bird’s eye view of the S. S. Anubis and the machines hovering along its hull and building strange rotating mechanical objects. After twenty seconds Goombella inhaled and turned to the Great Fox on the screen. “Okay, find the best entry point through those fleets and prepare to make a hole! My two minutes of preparation time is up, I can free up some SCV’s so call in if you need a repairs and fly within the missile turret defense grid. Let’s hope the bomb.”

“This is Rob Sixty Four, keep up the good work.” The robot that had appeared on one of the screens that Goombella was working at just as quickly disappeared and the Great Fox got into position with its two laser cannons charging up to fire.

Lyra blinked as the she watched one of the several screens that had approaching ships coming at them, several of them suddenly swerved and they started slamming into each other explosively.

“Why did they do that?” It wasn’t like Lyra understood what was going on anymore, all she knew was that she was given a weapon that was non lethal in comparison to what Derpy and Screwball had. In some way she felt relieved, in others she felt like she could be safer with something more lethal considering she was in the middle of some sort of war. Never would a pony would relish in killing.

“I wouldn’t worry about it; those are droid fighters, bombers and interceptors from the Star Wars Battlefront realms. They generally have good chase coding and are somewhat decent pilots, they just have plenty of AI malfunctions that make them kamikaze and quite often into their own ships. They aren’t really much to worry about because of it… you didn’t get a word of that did you?” Goombella finished blandly wondering why the AI from the Star Wars Battlefront realm was spotty at best; it was their fleet they were approaching in the first place to create a hole through that mess. It was a good thing that realms fighters were completely ineffectual against large ships; it’s the other large enemy ships she was worried about.

“My goddesses, I don’t know why I didn’t see it before… you’re like a little mushroom shaped Twilight Sparkle!” After a moment of staring at Lyra for having come to this revelation, Derpy blinked a few times.

“You’re right! She even has the book thing she can pull out that has information on everything!” The muffin loving pony suddenly exclaimed agreeing with her.

“What does that stupid sparkling vampire book series have to do with my tattle ability? I thought someone said they would have that taken care of. I was hoping they’d toss all the books to the Fallout realms.” It was within the moment of stating that, that Screwball said they were talking about a pony named Twilight Sparkle.

“That poor pony, why would her parents name her after that book series? Were they completely drunk off their flanks? You’re really good at silent protagonist, almost as good as Paper Mario is… he had such a way with silent words.” Goombella sighed dreamily and a few hearts could be seen floating off of her head, even then she was still rather focused on the task at hand at getting the SCV’s to do what she needed them too.

Fox’s team was proving a good deterrent for any enemy fighters to get too close; their two large ships started speeding up to fly straight through the fleets.

Approximately eighteen or so years ago in the world of Equestria, yes we’re that kind of fan fiction and we need a cutaway gag as filler for this chapter.

“Oh honey, what are we going to name her?” Twilight’s mother stated holding a little filly to her chest cooing at it earnestly.

“How about what we were going to name Shining Armor before we thought better about it?” Twilights Dad was a proud father of another baby, he just hoped Shining made a good older brother.

“We are not naming her Twilight Sparkle!” A doctor just happened to walk in as she was stating this missing the ‘we are not’ part and only hearing the ‘naming her Twilight Sparkle’ part.

“Okay then her name will be Twilight Sparkle.” The doctor immediately walked out of the room to set up the paperwork missing the looks of horror on the two new parent’s faces.

“My goddess Celestia, what I have done!” Twilight’s mother stated in honest to goodness horror. “She’s going to be horribly picked on throughout Magic Kindergarten for this!”

“Now honey, it may not be that bad, she could go on to lead a successful life with many good friends… who am I kidding she is going to need all the love and support we can give her! Well at least we can say she’s our little sparkle.” Twilight’s father sadly watched as his wife glare at him for making such light of the situation that their daughter being named something like this.

“Why did this happen again, I mean when it happened with Shining Armor it wasn’t that bad a name except for all the reflection jokes… but this…” Twilight’s mother lamented.

“It’ll be okay honey; we’ll be there for most of her life. It’s not like she’s going to leave us early in her development for higher learning and she’ll become horribly antisocial. We’ll always be there for her, well at least when it’s convenient to be.” After receiving a flat stare from his wife he knew he should just stop talking.

“You know this is the reason why we quit our jobs as fortune tellers, if you can even remember why my currently couched till further notice husband?” Twilights father winced at the tone of voice, Night knew he was in deep trouble with his wife. He was already seeing a future two months on said couch caring for and diapering Twilight, he could also see himself getting a raise at his job… score!

These set of event eventually led to Twilight becoming a bookish nerd once she learned why exactly so many ponies made fun of her for her name. She eventually read that book and immediately thought it was horrible and that there must be much better books out there then that one. She was completely right and even a complex math book was more entertaining to her adolescent mind.

Twilight would continue to love books and reading them, all because her name was related to the worst book in existence. She fears being sent back to Magic Kindergarten for many reasons; this was one of them since the faculty couldn’t stop making fun of her in reference to sparkling vampire ponies. Aside from that some of the kids were quite cruel to her growing up. Then watching Celestia raise the sun led to a increase towards the pursuit of magic given it was the most awe inspiring thing in her life.

Thus Twilight became a shut in dork of a student to Princess Celestia and that as they say is how history was made. It all began with tragedy in the naming conventions of pony society, which led to her becoming the great and powerful mare she is today.

Author's Note:

Today's my birthday... so why am I posting another pointless chapters I spent a morning writing? Because I can write, but nothing says I have to be good at it.

As an evil monster I must say... life is way too sweet to me for it's own good. Just for the very fact that I'm still alive, now if my companion cube would stop trying to stab me in the back every time I turned away from it then it would be perfect.

As everyone knows, nothing in life can be truly perfect only as close as it can get to perfection as defined by the beholder.