Mater the tow truck's time in Ponyville chronicles

by Thomlight Sparkle 1

The hydra rescue

The next day, me and Applejack were workin' hard with the apple harvest. But today ah pulled three carts at one time!

"Can you tell me more about this McQueen guy Mater?" Applejack then asked me. Shoot! Where ta start! There were so many things ah knew bout' McQueen, but where ta start from was the real question. Ah was about to speak when Rainbow flew in.

"Guys, you gotta help! A hydra's chasing the CMC, Pinkie Pie, Twilight, Fluttershy, and Rarity!" exclaimed Rainbow. Applejack's pupils shrunk to pinpricks and her mouth dropped open, her sister was in trouble! Ah knew ah had to help my friends, but Ah didn't what a hydra was. Judging by what Rainbow said, it sounded very big!

"Well what ar' we waiting for? We gotta help!" ah shouted, then ah threw my hook on a cart. Applejack and Rainbow jumped in and ah took off. When we were on the path leading to the hydra thing, ah turned on ma rockets and we took off faster! Applejack was hanging on her hat real tightly and while Rainbow was hanging on the front of the cart with AJ hanging on her tail. Ah could see our friends just ahead an' ah saw what the hydra was. it was a four headed dragon. Ma eyes just shrunk from seeing the monster, but ah saw the other ponies runnin' from it ah knew that if ah didn't do somethin' he'd eat them! But then ah saw one head heading towards Twilight. Twilight tried her best to avoid being eaten. She dodged each move the head made. Then it finally got hold of her! It bit her her on the tail! Ah got very mad now so ah sped up and yelled to Applejack ta get rope she knew ma idea and then she began to spin the rope. Ah drove in front of the other ponies Pinkie and the CMC jumped in the cart first. then AJ threw the rope at Twilight and she grabbed it with her mouth. Then ah braked, and when ah flew back the rope pulled Twi so hard, the Hydra flipped and crashed on the ground. But then Twilight's tail broke off to where only a small stub was left, and she flew up and landed in the cart. Quickly ah drove forward again right next ta Fluttershy and Rarity. Fluttershy jumped in the cart, but then the Hydra got back up and started chasing us again, and when his foot hit the ground a huge rock was thrown up and it landed on Rarity's tail! Ah stopped and unhooked myself from the cart and threw my tow cable at Rarity and despite it being dirty she grabbed it! Then ah pulled hard with all my might! The hydra was gettin' closer and closer.

"Twi, do ya know any spells for turnin' a hydra into a mouse?" asked Apple Bloom.

Twi answered no. "Well, what bout' a bunny?" Apple Bloom asked again. Twilight shook her no.

"How bout' a..." before Apple Bloom could finish.

Twilight then yelled, "NO SMALL ANIMALS OF ANY KIND!"

"What about a spell for turning a tow truck into a top kick pickup truck?" Asked Sweetie Belle. Twilight said no to that one. "What about a heavy duty tow truck?" Sweetie Belle asked again, Twi said no. "How about a monster tow truck?" Sweetie Belle then asked, but Twi said no. "What about a..." Before Sweetie Belle could finish, Twilight then said,

"NO STRONG TRUCKS OF ANY KIND!" Ah was still pullin' as hard as ah could then with a loud snap! Rarity's tail broke! But there was only a small bit left and Rarity flew in the cart. Ah re hooked on it and drove away from the hydra but he wasn't ready to give up! Then Ah came up to a cliff side and ah saw some loose rocks. So ah bumped into them and they came tumbling on the hydra, now he gave up. When we came up to Twi's house Ah was very tired but happy for what ah did.

"Oh Rarity! Your beautiful tail! said Twilight looking at the stump. "And my tail's gone too! she said looking back at her.

"It fine's my dear! They'll grow back. Our lives are more important. Rarity said with confidence. "Thanks for saving us Mater! You're different than what I thought!" said rarity, then she gave me a kiss on the cheek ah blushed.

"Oh Mater! Look at that dent on your side!" said Twilight looking at my right side.

"Don't worry darling, I can fix that." said Rarity.

"No thanks, ah'm gonna keep that dent. Ah replied. The ponies were confused at what ah said. Then Ah said, "Ah come across each one a' these dents with ma friend McQueen. But this one is very special."

"So you consider your dents valuable?" asked Twilight.

"Ah think they help him remember the good times he's had." said Applejack.

"Eeyup, that's exactly why ah keep ma dents!" Ah said, the ponies now understood.

"Thanks fer savin' ma sister Mater." Applejack said.

"Not a problem, that's what a tow truck does!" Ah said back, but none of us knew that someone else watched me do that rescue.

Comments

[Thomlight Sparkle 1]

1871865oh well you can't win them all, can you keep the review going?

[Eldorado]

Would you be interested in working with someone to help plan your next fic? I can try to help you along if you wish. It seems like you've got the interest in improving and you're just mired in inexperience. That's fixable. Let me know if you'd like some help.

[Warren Peace]

"Guys, you gotta help! A hydra's chasing the CMC, Pinkie Pie, Twilight, Fluttershy, and Rarity!"

Good use of grammar and punctuation, but it wouldn't hurt to spell out Cutie Mark Crusaders instead of putting CMC.

Applejack's eyespupils shrunk to pinpricks and her mouth/jaw dropped open, that was her sister being chased was in trouble!

I made some changes, just saying that her eyes shrunk could imply that someone hit them with some sort of dehydrating powder and the actual eyeball shriveled up (which would really goddamn suck ). Saying pupils is much more accurate, though people will usually understand that it's her pupils shrinking instead of her eyeballs.

Ah knew ah had to help my friends, but Ah didn't what a hydra was, but judging by what rainbow said, it sounded very big!

Just like in some orgies, there's too many buts in this sentence. You shouldn't use the same word twice within a paragraph or two.

Applejack and Rainbow jumped in and ah took off.

Logical fallacy detected: Rainbow Dash has wings, she can and prefers to fly.

Rarity's tail broke!

Well buck me sideways, that'd hurt like a bitch! Okay, maybe I don't have a tail, but I'm sure that getting your tail ripped off is nothing to shrug off.

"So you consider your dents valuable? asked Twilight.

Missing quotation mark.