Mater the tow truck's time in Ponyville chronicles

by Thomlight Sparkle 1

Meeting Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie's welcome party

After a short while, we came up to a cottage of some sort. In the back was a yellow pegasus with pink hair and shoot it was really long! She was with some animals and for some reason they didn't run, not even the birds.

"Why ain't the animals scared of her?" Ah asked.

"She have the ability to talk to animals," Replied Twilight.

"Dadgum!" Ah said

"Dad what?" Applejack asked me,

"Oh that's just something Ah say a lot. Ah don't wanna brag or nothin' but Ah have a few other words Ah like saying,"
Ah explained.

Then Fluttershy looked back and say me, she walked slowly up to and just looked at me.

"Hey there, My name's Mater." Ah said.

"Um, I I I'm Fluttershy." She said very shyly,

"Is she shy?" Ah asked.

"Yes Mater she is." answered Rainbow

"Fluttershy darling, it's okay Mater's not gonna hurt anyone, he's just visiting." Rarity said, Fluttershy looked at me again and kinda got scared,

"Fluttershy Ah ain't gonna hurt ya, shoot Ah wouldn't hurt a fly!" Fluttershy then started to feel better and spoke,

"I'm sorry Mater, I'm just shy. But it's great to meet a tow truck."

"But not as cool as you have the power to talk to animals!" Ah said back. Fluttershy blushed from hearin' this.

"Hey Mater, follow us someway else, there's somepony else you should meet." said Applejack, confused Ah followed.

Fluttershy joined us. We came up to what looked like a giant gingerbread house with a cupcake on top a' it. When Ah pulled in, a whole bunch a' ponies jumped out and yelled "surprise!" Then Ah was showered with confetti and streamers and then a pink hyper pony hopped up to me and said,

"Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie! Twilight sent Spike to tell me about you so I threw this party for you!" "Wow! That's mighty kind of ya! Ah can't say ah ever had a party of my own back home!" Ah said with glee.

Then Pinkie Pie brought me a cupcake and offer Ah try it. Ah was about to eat when Ah took a look at it and I saw a red liquid seeping from the icing, and I realized it was hot sauce, this pony was tryin' ta prank me! So then Ah pretended to eat and reacted like Ah had tasted the hot sauce and I drank water. The other ponies stared angrily at Pinkie, but Ah had a trick up my carburetor, Ah had some of the turned Pistachio ice cream from Japan and Ah put it in a bowl in a style that made it look like an ice cream sundae.

Then Ah drove up to Pinkie and said, "Hey Pink, that was one crazy cupcake. Would ya like to try this Pistachio ice cream from my home town?"

"Sure, thanks!" said Pinkie grabbed the bowl and gulped the whole down. Ah tried to hold back from laughing and then Pinkie stopped and then screamed at the top of her lungs and ran to the apple-bob barrel and dove her head in. Everyone was surprised while I laughed very loudly. Rainbow then started laughing too and said,

"You're the only one who got Pinkie Pie back at her hot sauce cupcake game. What did you?" Then Ah said through my laughter,

"Ah never ate the cupcake! Ah saw the hot sauce and pretended to eat it."

Rainbow: "Wow! that was smart thinking! What was in that Pistachio ice cream you gave Pinks?"

Ah then said, "That Pistachio's ice cream's from Japan. Ah got it from a sushi bar there." Everyone was surprised and laughed.

"Mater, that Pistachio ice cream's wasabi, it's a really hot mustard." said Twi.

"Oh that, explains why it was burning hot when ah tried it!" Ah said.

Pinkie then took her head out and said, "Wow! I can't believe you'd take the hot sauce cupcake seriously!"

"Pinkie, Mater never ate the cupcake. He didn't give you ice cream it was a really hot mustard." Rainbow said.

"Wow, that was good thinking! Nopony ever get back at me! But that was a great prank!" Pinkie replied.

"Shoot Ah pull a lot of pranks back home!" Ah said. After 2 hours the party was over. "Uh where Ah'm suppose ta sleep?" Ah asked.

"Not ta worra, there's plenta a' in the barn." Applejack said. So Ah followed her and Apple Bloom back to the farm and drove in the barn and back into a comfy spot. Applejack and Apple Bloom said good night and went in the house. Ah stood there for a few minutes and soon fell asleep with my mind thinking, what to do tomorrow? Ah would soon find out.

Comments

[Warren Peace]

"She have the ability to talk to animals." Replied Twilight.

Yes, yes, and I have the ability to talk good.

On a grammatical note, as I consider myself a self-proclaimed Grammar Nazi, here's a rule to follow. Whenever you have this situation:

"Hello," said Bob.

You use a comma after the last word of speech, not a period. Also in this case, never ever capitalize the word coming after the quotation marks, in this case, 'said.'

However, on the flipside, if your situation is:

Said the Raven, "Moo, I'm a cow."

You do use a period after the last quoted word and anything after that is capitalized.
There are some other rules for other situations, but these are the basics of it.

It's 'wasabi', not 'wa-sobi', I should know.

"Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie! Twilight sent Spike to tell me about you so I threw this party for you!" "Wow! That's very great of ya! This was never done to back home!" Ah said with glee.

No.

"Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie! Twilight sent Spike to tell me about you so I threw this party for you!"

"Wow! That's very great mighty kind of ya! This was never done to back home Ah can't say ah ever had a party of my own back home!" Ah said with glee.

Yes. Format-wise, always, always, ALWAYS start a new paragraph when you have a new speaker. In this case, that's Pinkie vs Mater.

but Ah had a trick up my carburetor

Good reference to a human-to-car saying.

"You're the only one who got Pinkie Pie back at her own game.

Incorrect, see "Griffon the Brush-Off."

A continuous problem as well is that you're telling, not showing. The famous quote: "Show, don't tell," comes to mind.
Example:

John went to bed.

vs.

Yawning widely, John hopped onto his bed, pulling the covers back and getting under their warm embrace. Settled down, he reached out and flicked off the light, cascading darkness across the bedroom.

Pleasant thoughts on his mind and a comfortable bed beneath him, he slowly drifted off to sleep.

I pulled this out of my ass, so it's not a very good example, just a good one.