Tristan had always loved running and sports. When cancer had threatened his life, he had to give up his dream of being an Olympic runner. Tristan got hit by a car while saving a boy who fell in the street. Tristan was hospitalized and had two days to live. His last wish was to watch his favorite episode of MLP:FIM. He fell asleep and awoke in a colorful land full of ponies.
The list of characters are more but 5 is all I could add.
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A really good start but i saw a few mistakes.
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1:
who were the other ponies?
2:
i think there is missing qotation.
"What are your questions?I'l answer them."
3:
extra "or" there
If you have a home free or one of the other elements would like to help out.
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again,really good start!just wanted to point those out though.
1868031 I revised the changes and I thank you for pointing those out.
1868254
U r welcome.
i usually don't like the fanfic where a human is changed to a pony, but this is good I like it so far.
1869036
Really?Cuz a good HIE fic is always what im looking for.
1870140 me too but when they are like that i just can't usually get into them.
short chapter,but,doing really good!keep it up!
Its a meh for me on the whole Kate thing if you include her turn Kate into a griffin
i vote for pony kate!
You know, if you take suggestions, I am voting for him and Rarity becoming special someponys…I even have thought of an a idea of how it start…and even think of her and AJ having a competition over him, with Dash laughing and saying something like "No wonder he is my bro, he is the awesomest brother in all Equestria, is virtually on or DNA"
"But Dash darling, you are not actually related"
"Awesomest DNA, is not in the blood, you just born with it, and since he is awesome, he immediately is my brother"
"That doesn't even have sense"
"Typical not awesome person reaction, and you think you have what it takes to date my bro"
"Is that a challenge?"
"Darling, you are not possible serious, thinking of putting poor Lightning like some kind of trophy, are you?"
"Of course not"
"Good, because if even I partake in such brute contest, witch I will not, you wouldn't have any chance what so ever"
"what did you said?"
"Oh please AJ, with do all respect, Lighting may share Dash, spirit for racing but he is quite a gentelcort too, is oblivious witch one of us will pick if we make him choose"
"Oh, so you think you can win him over with your fancy fru fru, I will like to see that"
And so on, I think you get the idea, just a suggestion
1945931 The Applejack thing was a spur of the moment and I like the idea of Rarity and Lightning Twister being special somponys. If I do add it, I'll include that you gave me the idea in the author's comment. Thanks for the suggestion.
1948853
hey thanks, glad you like it, I will be eager to read that chapter, and thanks for a very good story with an original twist (at least for me) when instead of becoming special somepony, he become Dash big brother, it was a nice touch.
Je to be honest I can imagine he, Big Mac and Shining Armor having a good time, or perhaps quarrel their little sisters if they get in trouble or something like that, doesn't sound interesting?
1948892 Had that in mind even before you pointed it out. Look for it in the next few chapters. You'll be pleased.
1948923
Cool, thanks dude
I vote, for Rarity and Twister, by the way, I don't you already have that in mind of my comment give you the idea, but I like the title of the chapter, also I like you said I'm very please with this brother competition, latter you have to tell me how it works, because Twister, Big Mac and Armor have one little brother short. Did there are individual competitions? Or did the events are in groups of 3? I'm curious
Oh men, I can only imagine how many forms Twister will tease his sister with AJ every time he get the chance, I see a sibling conflict in their future
Oh and one last thing, did he will try to join the wonderlbots as well? Because, I wonder how will look he and Dash being in a team and if Spitfire will become his friend
1949755 The bro hoof bash is when brothers and sisters compete. I'll explain in the next chapter. The Wonderbolts will be coming soon, check out my authors notes one more time on this chapter.
1949857
Ah thanks dude, I really appreciate the though
1949875 No problem. This could really help out with my story so it's the least I can do.
hey one question and sorry if it bother you. the next chapter will come up soon?
1895870 ya the hole kate thing is a little meh to me as well
No! No kate use
seems that would be the best match. All you need is longer chapter
well you will have to include kate sometime or you might have to fix part of the story or just add her in in like a second story.
You must add Kate soon.
Good good now I feel half sad. Sad due to sad Prologue and. . .
Well I have no idea what else I'm feelin but it has to do with shitshort chapters.
So far good story.
Stache for you.
Also this gets an Insta-Like.
