Yes, I'm high. High on friendship. Friendship and magic.
The following memoir is our most credible and reliable document regarding Twilight Sparkle's transformation. Please note that, while it is possible that not all dialogue has been reproduced verbatim, the actual events happened exactly as put down here, up to and including Twilight Sparkle's eventual fate.
//Rated Everyone for absolutely no objectionable content.//
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Hi there!
Thank you for reading / considering reading my writing!
I usually encourage people sharing their opinions on my stories, but this time it's especially true -- this is my first attempt at the grotesque genre (but not my first fic), and I'm in desperate need of outside criticism to help me improve my skills. I mean it: away with the sugarcoating, let your voice be heard!
Uh, and the comments may contain spoilers, I guess. I mean, there are no comments yet, but I hope it won't remain the same way for long! Naturally, you can choose not to comment, but that would make Fluttershy sad. You don't want to make Fluttershy sad, do you?
This has a very high level of 'WAT'
1866551 Are you begging for reviews? Normally this is frowned upon.
1867179
I beg your pardon, but I'm not "begging for reviews," I'm highlighting the fact that this is a new genre for me, so I would be especially grateful for helpful tips how can I improve myself. You don't have to be a literary expert to share your opinions about something you just read. I, for one, am a firm believer of the theory of the necessary, constant struggle for betterment--
...I'm not fooling anyone, am I? At least my sock puppet still loves me.
This story seems dry and has very little flavour to it, dood.
So when Twilight turned into a Diamond Dog, her gender also changed.
And the reasoning behind the Princess' doing what she did was because Twilight was no longer Twilight?
So banishment to the moon was a happy ending for everyone?
I don't know how, but I managed to finish this story without the compass, map or the boss key, dood.
1867217
Thanks for your time! Actually, the dry tone is pretty intentional, especially in the second half of the fic.
Is that an, um, Zelda reference? I... I don't really get it. I never played Zelda, dood.
1867245 I see...and yea... the three items I mentioned in the last sentence is a Zelda reference to the three items u commonly need to finish a dungeon.
The ending was stupid. What does banishing DDT (Diamond Dog Twilight) accomplish? If it's to avoid spreading news of the possibility of transformation, surely Twilight's discretion could be relied upon after being returned to unicorn form. If Celestia believes the condition may be contagious, she has certainly done and said nothing indicating such a concern. (Notably, allowing DDT to remain for a week and receive VIP pony visitors.)
IMO, the banishment is unfitting except for the explicit purpose of turning the story dark. As a reader, it was very jarring.
1867594
Celestia's reasons were, to quote the fic, that "she, as the supreme authority of ponykind, simply couldn't allow ponies to turn into diamond dogs without warning."
Of course, it's not Twilight's fault she turned into a diamond dog. But the point is, it isn't supposed to be reasonable. I mean, in this fic, I tried to present a story from a skewed perspective (e. g. practically nopony bats an eye at the fact that Twilight transformed into a monster) -- hence, grotesque. The ending was supposed to be the culmination, where Celestia banish Twi to the moon. Her reasoning is supposed to be logical, but still insane; but I suppose I failed to create real grotesque and instead it comes through as simply 'stupid'
. Well, that's certainly a lesson for me!
Anyway, thank you very much for your comment. I really appreciate your comment!
1867691 Well, I did read that part, but clearly Twilight DID turn into DDT, and banishment won't change that fact. Banishment might help cover it up, but so would Twilight simply keeping it hush hush. Probably better, in fact, since then ponies won't be asking the Mane 5 "hey what happened to Twilight?"
The point is, it is not explained how banishing DDT could possibly help stop ponies from becoming DDs or monsters or whatever. So IMO you succeeded in the insane part but failed at the logical part.
But I'm glad you're taking criticism well! Thank you for listening.
And, technically, Twilight did apparently have some warning, so there.
1867756
Well, it's more along the lines "if you get rid of the problem (by banishing it far away), there's no problem anymore!" It's certainly true that if you start to examine it thoroughly, this solution is not the most optimal one, but since I set out to write grotesque, not slice of life, I couldn'have everypony acting perfectly natural (only Fluttershy).
But the fic should stand alone. If I have to have a lengthy debate about why I wrote what I did, it's obvious that the writing didn't reach it's intended goal. But that's why I was so desperate for criticism!
Also, I probably should've mentioned in the description or somewhere that it's supposed to be grotesque.
Nos, kolléga, nagy szeretője (és néha művelője) vagyok a groteszk gyönyörének, így asszem amint Celestia felemeli fejünk fölé hatalmas lánglabdáját, adok néki egy olvasást.
1868699
...
I'm pretty sure this guy's talking about waffles. Yeah, I'd bet my horse he's talkign about waffles, but I don't have any horse. So...
Hey, no, wait. "Hello friend, good story (it's very SOMETHING) SOMETHING a grotesque SOMETHING, and SOMETHING SOMETHING Celestia SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING BATMAN".
Holly hell, I think I can understand some of it. Some words are similar to Spanish words. Cool.
Aaaaanyway, again with the story. I was screaming "KAFKA! KAFKA!" all the time while reading, but you mentioned it at the ending so meh. The Metamorphosis, right? Some things reminded me of The Trial, but really, this is The Pony Metamorphosis. Alien reactions and everything.
Hmmm. Not a lot to say, really. It's kinda grotesque, if you call Kafka that way. For me, this genre is just good ol' Fanz K. because I haven't read anything grotesque but him, so... To me, you got it. I haven't found it very comedic, trough.
Also, if I had wrote this I couldn't have been able to resist making a joke about Twilight losing a limb (her magic) and getting a new one (because she's male now, sho SHE HAS A COCK!
And the bird is very useful, helping her and Spike cleaning the Library and everything".
Yep.
1876897 Actually it was Hungarian and I said
"Well, colleague, I'm a big admirer of the beauty of grotesque (and I write it sometimes too) so I think as soon as Celestia raises her big ball of fire above our heads, I shall give it a read"
But you get a C+ for effort
1877505
Meh, I got the "colleague" part, but I traslated it as "friend". In Spanish it's "colega", and if I read "kolléga" like I would do with a Spanish word, it would sound exactly the same. The rest... well, I got a C+.
Lo que en mi patria viene a ser así como un... ¿seis? No estoy seguro. Aquí utilizamos puntuación numérica, así que no estoy demasiado familiarizado con lo de usar letras para poner notas. Aunque dado que A es sobresaliente y F suspenso, calculo que C será aprobado. Eso espero.
Awww... I was hoping for some erotic transformation adventures.