Chapter Thirteen: Draconequus Explained, Awkward Moments, and A Ruined Date
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// Chapter Thirteen: Draconequi Explained, Awkward Moments, and A Ruined Date// Story: Living the Good Life// by Aetherpony//------------------------------//
When her lips are mere centimeters away you feel her sock you in the arm. She pulls away laughing while you’re stuck rubbing where she struck.
“Oh man, that was priceless!” She manages in between fits of laughter. You’re tempted to take a swing at her but you know better than to try it. Another idea comes to mind.
“It’s a good thing you stopped. Otherwise I would have kissed a freak of nature.” A sly grin graces your features. This earns you another punch. You yelp before rubbing your other arm, now that one left a lasting impression.
“Well aren’t you smart? You’re not supposed to call the girl holding on to the Elements a freak of nature, idiot.” Her smirk is still planted upon her face.
“Sue me,” You mutter as you get to your feet. You’re willing to overlook what might have happened had Eris been serious. Besides, today takes precedence over something trivial like that.
You’re thinking it might not be as bad as a few of the days you’ve gone through since being here. In fact, it might just bode well for you. Except for the fact you’re going on a date today, well all day. Whatever feeling of excitement you had dissipated almost instantly. Dread slowly creeps its way through your form. How are you going to pull this off?
“Hey, you alright?” She looks upon you with a raised brow. You nod before nervously pulling on the collar of your shirt.
“Y-yeah I’m fine.” Apparently you look a bit more nervous than you thought. You wipe your brow of the accumulated sweat. Come on Anonymous, calm down. After all, the Elements are on the line.
In all honesty, while you didn’t want to mess up your chances of getting the Elements; you also didn’t want to have your first two dates go awry. That makes you wonder just how the date will proceed. You’ll be spending time with both of them, so does that mean Eris has the morning/ early afternoon and Screwball has late afternoon/evening? Or will they both be around you the whole day? Those questions needed to be answered. You’d rather not just go with the flow for something like this.
“So, Eris about today, how is this gonna go?”
“Well, I was going to start us off with breakfast, then a morning swim. After our swim Screwball should be up. When she’s with it we’ll be going out on the town.” Eris explains as she floats over to you.
“So wait, we’re going to be going around Canterlot?” Reluctance is clear in your tone. You doubt Discord has been doing to all of Equestria like he’s done with Ponyville as far as undoing his work goes. You still remember how Canterlot looked from the first day you arrived. The spring loaded buildings, the carded streets, the dancing animals… You don’t even remember seeing a pony among it.
Those ponies have either fled Canterlot, or have held up inside their homes like the Ponyville Ponies did. If that’s the case then the city itself presents a danger. You don’t want a spring loaded building smashing into you. That is not your definition of a good time. Eris’ question brings you out of your idle thoughts.
“Yeah, is that a problem?” Eris looks to you for your answer.
“Well, yes. I don’t want to end up getting hurt by a building or by a stampede of dancing animals. I don’t need to be bedridden again.” Eris takes your words into consideration and her answer is something close to what you expected.
“But that’s what makes it exciting! Canterlot keeps you on your toes. You have no idea what’ll happen.” She sounds just like her father.
“No, that’s what makes it a hazard. I want to enjoy myself, not worry if I’m going to get hurt.” Eris may have entertainment in mind but you’ll be damned if you’re going to put yourself in harm’s way just for a date. The Elements aren’t worth it.
Eris groans in frustration, “you obviously have no idea how to have a good time. We gotta change that.”
You’re taken aback, “What do you mean? I know how to have fun!”
Eris ignores your reply and continues, “And we have to work on that anger too. It isn’t healthy.” You weren’t expecting her to take you seriously, but the fact that she really isn’t doesn’t sit too well with you.
“I’m not ang—“you try to shout. Eris’ cuts you off by putting a griffin clawed finger to your lips.
“I’m done. We aren’t arguing over this. I’m gonna cook breakfast, we’re gonna eat, then we’re going to have a nice swim.” She finishes with a look that seems to dare you to go against what she’s said. You’re thinking about doing so. That is, until you see sparks of purple fly off of her lion’s paw. Suddenly trying to convince her that she’s wrong doesn’t sound like a good idea anymore.
She moves her griffin talon so you can speak, “Fine. What’s for breakfast?” She flashes you a toothy grin. Then she slithers around you and over to your door. As she opens it she motions for you to follow her, which you do. As you follow her down the hallway you’re forced to look forward. You can’t look at the interior design lest you get sick to your stomach.
You feel a throbbing sensation in your head coming on if you spend too much time staring at the room’s decal. As you enter the living room you find that a section of the wall on the left side is gone. Much like the section of the wall leading into the pool and hot tub area, this one leads into a kitchen; at least you think it does. It looks like the entirety of that room is made of blue tinted stained glass.
You can’t tell where the fridge is, where the counters are, or even if there’s a working stove in there. Plus it looks like it’d shatter if you stepped into it. You’re thoughts upon the kitchen, and just how strange it appears is cut off when Eris wraps her lion’s arm around yours. She drags you over to the couch and has you sit.
“Sit back, relax, and wait.” Is all she tells you before flying over the dining table and into the kitchen. You watch in wonderment as the individual squares that make up the wall re-materialize to close the gap between you and the other room. That’s a strange feature that’ll take some getting used to. Without anything to do other than wait, you wait.
Throughout that time thoughts of Ponyville plagued your mind, particularly what you said to Twilight. Pangs of guilt still weal within you, she really didn’t deserve that verbal beating you gave her. Time spent away from her only made you feel worse. As you’ve had to tell yourself numerous amounts of times before Twilight’s actions are dictated by Discord himself. She’s the way she is because of him.
If you were to spend more time with her you could probably dispel his influence. You could make time for the purple mare. After today it’s not like you’ll have anything else to do. But will she want to see you after how you acted? You wouldn’t be surprised if she locked you out of the treebrary you do deserve it. You could vividly picture the tears running down Twilight’s face as you screamed at her.
Eris is right you do have anger issues and you need to do something about it. But if by some miracle Twilight forgave you and took you back in helping her out would be messing with the set up Discord has. You’ve already given Fluttershy, Applejack, and Pinkie their color back.
Judging by what you said to Rarity she’ll probably come around as well or she’ll outright ignore you. Either way you’ve potentially helped out four of the six element bearers. With Twilight turning back to normal that only leaves Rainbow Dash. Bringing her around would probably be easy considering every one of her friends would be helping you out.
After that you’d give them the elements and whenever Discord came by the ponies would take care of him. Well, that’s what would happen if you were to relinquish them. You’re under the assumption that he’ll either be imprisoned or killed. Discord may be a pain, and he may love causing mayhem, but as far as you know he’s never took a life.
He doesn’t deserve death, also what would happen to Eris and Screwball? They are his kids after all. You’re sure they’ve caused their own bouts of chaos. If Discord is sealed away would they do the same to his daughters, or would they eliminate them? You refuse to be the one responsible for their demise if it came down that scenario. So if you don’t help your pony friends they’ll certainly suffer as they’ve been, and if you do help them you’re potentially killing some of the friends you’ve made.
You were hoping to keep these thoughts hidden away, but with the situation at hand how can they? And here you were hoping to get some enjoyment out of your day. You lie back and recline on the couch content with merely looking upon the ceiling. The more you think about your situation the more you start thinking of the torrent of chaos you’ve been placed within. You’re given only a few choices to go about cleaning the mess of chaos. The choices available won’t allow you to clean everything. You can only take care of half the mess, the other will remain.
You try to push that out of your thoughts and try to find something positive. It’s too bad that you’re failing at that. Looking at the ceiling’s design isn’t helping you at all; in fact it’s making it worse. That clutter of color you’re looking upon right now reminds you of you. Your reluctance, your anger, your despair, your indecision, it culminates within you stirring you up. It causes you to lash out at those you’ve come to care for.
You hate that part about you, but it’s how you’ve come to be. You’ve learned to just bottle things up and sort things out for yourself; to contain the chaos within or something like that. But it doesn’t always work. The lining of your “bottle” is what keeps you from breaking; much like the black borders around these squares are the only things keeping the assortment of color from mixing together.
You know what would happen were the borders to break and allow the colors to mix around. You wish you could do the same for how you’ve been feeling for the past few years. But you can’t properly categorize and separate your thoughts. You’re not some robot; you’re only human. Could that possibly be the real reason Discord brought you here?
To throw you into a crazy situation such as this in order to see how long it took until your sanity ebbed away? To see you unleash your repressed thoughts upon those around you? It would be horribly chaotic, at least until you stopped. You’re sure Discord would be getting plenty of laughs at that. Your musings are cut off when a red and black swirling plate invades your line of sight.
“Equestria to Anon, come in Anon. Your food has arrived, so you can stop drooling all over yourself now.” Eris starts to set the plate down. You get with it and grab it before it ends up on your stomach. You come to find that she has cooked quite a large breakfast for you. It consists of scrambled eggs, toast, sausage, and bacon. When you inhale the scent of your meal memories come flooding back to you.
Your dad, before things went south, was one hell of a cook. His specialty was always breakfast foods. Whenever he wasn’t away on business he’d try to find time to cook for you and your sister. You could recall those rare mornings where you’d be getting ready for the bus just to see him flipping pancakes or hear the familiar sizzling of your favorite morning meal. When you took a bite you swear you felt like a kid again. With that simple taste test you were soon turned into a one man eating machine.
Manners took a back seat, you were hungry and your stomach’s cries for sustenance would be sated. While you ate Eris looked on smiling for a few moments before joining you with a plate of her own; though her eating habits were much more controlled than yours. At least she didn’t use her fork as a makeshift shovel.
It didn’t take long for you to finish breakfast; your plate was clean after a few minutes while Eris seemed content with eating half of her meal before setting her plate upon the table. You lean back on the couch and rub your stomach while sporting a lazy grin.
“Eris, that was delicious. Where’d you learn to cook like that?” you ask as you loll your head in her direction.
“Well, when your only sister and father insist on eating candy and drinking chocolate milk someone has to learn. I don’t want to end up with a gut.”
“But you’re the daughter of Chaos itself. I didn’t think your body was capable of changing unless you willed it.” She turns to you after chewing and swallowing her food.
“You’d be surprised,” you swear you hear her stomach grumble, “bleh, I always make too much.” She mimics you and reclines. “So, what had you staring off in to space?” turns her head towards you as she asks.
“I’m still thinking about yesterday, and about why I’m here.”
“Look Anon, yesterday was a long time comin’. Discord really pumped Fluttershy full of bitch magic. If it wasn’t you it was bound to be somepony else.” Seems like she’s trying to help rid you of your guilt.
“It’s not only about Fluttershy, but Twilight as well. Both of them aren’t acting like their normal selves and I couldn’t see that.” You’re now leaning forward and looking on at the stained glass table. The multi colored diamond-shaped patterns conflict with everything in the room. You sigh before shaking your head.
“Why does everything in this house have to look crazy? It’s making me sick to my stomach.” You rub your belly.
“I don’t know, but you’re going to have to deal with it. Daddy makes the rules. As far as Twilight goes I’m sure she’ll come around. If your yelling works for Rarity then it’s going to do something for Twilight.” Eris shrugs. This information leaves you taken aback.
“Wait what, how much did you see? How do you know what I said is helping her?” your full attention is now upon her. She gives you a nervous grin before shifting her eyes around the room.
“Crap, I wasn’t supposed to say anything. Rarity took what you said to heart and she paid Sweetie Belle a visit.” Eris explains, you lean in not wanting to miss a thing.
“And how did it go?” You allow yourself a hopeful smile.
“Sweetie Belle yelled at her, there were plenty of tears, and Rarity went back to her boutique. She’s been pacing around inside it ever since.” Whatever smile you had vanishes. You were really hoping something would have happened that would have helped Sweetie, but you guess you were wrong.
“I watched her last night in the same way I’ve been watching you. Daddy’s orders; and they’re supposed to stay a secret.” Her mood seems to turn sour. You get the hint; you won’t let Discord know you know. “Can we move on to something else please?”
“Sure. Why don’t you tell me how you came to be?” Eris raises a brow.
“You really want to know about that?”
You nod, “Yeah, I’m quite curious.” She sighs before shrugging.
“Alright then, let’s see, where do I start? Well, I’m going to skip how I was made; long story short, Draconequi and humans are made the same way. We don’t lay eggs or corrupt a pony’s form or anything like that. Also, no matter what mates with a Draconequus the kid is a random species. ” She tries to explain. You’re quite confused but Eris doesn’t seem to notice.
“The chance of it being a specific creature increases when a Draconequus mates with that animal. Discord bumped uglies with a pony and bam, Screwball was born. But she could have just as easily been a griffin or even a dragon.” You take this time to speak up.
“I was talking about how you ended up in Canterlot, but continue. You might as well tell me everything.” You chuckle. “Go ahead and finish your explanation. I don’t know anything about Dracon… Draconequ…” you try to say. Eris giggles while shaking her head.
“Draconequus, Anonymous. As I was saying, our species’ kids can be random. That’s why I look like a culmination of animal parts and why Screwball looks like an earth pony. As it turns out I’m a rarity.” Eris emphasizes by pointing to herself. “Typically they might have a child that looks like any of the five or six animal parts like me or my dad are made of. Griffons, Minotaurs, Ponies, Manticores, Boars, Ibexes, Deer, Goats, Lizards, you name it. But whatever a Draconequus gives birth to will look a little weird.”
“Like the eyes Screwball has?” you ask, hoping you understand at least a little bit of what she’s explaining to you. Thankfully Eris nods.
“Yeah, deformities like that will happen; some may even be able to do magic. It’s how you can separate a Draconequus-born child from the rest, but it’s never anything major. No extra appendages, no missing hooves, or anything like that.”
“So what are the chances of one like you being born?”
“One in ten thousand,” Eris grins. You whistle in amazement. “Yup, doesn’t matter what my mom is; even if she might have been a Draconequus like my dad. It’s the same no matter what.” She states proudly.
“So, who was your mom?” you ask, and judging by Eris’ frown you realize you’ve just a nerve. Aren’t you just the best human ever?
“I-I don’t know. Dad won’t tell me. Same thing goes for Screwball.” Gloom is ever so present in her voice. For the next few minutes the two of you stay in utter silence doing no more than staring at the floor. Come on, Anonymous. There has to be something you can do in order to brighten things up.
“Well, I think it’s bad ass that you’re rare. Means you’re unique, a cut above the rest. At least that’s how I see it.” You look to Eris and smile nervously; you’re not exactly used to talking to girls, or anyone like this. The only thing you really have to go on is what your dad and mom taught you. Eris’ ears perk up when she hears you.
“It is pretty cool isn’t it?” Eris mutters while looking over herself. She watches her griffon talons as she curls and uncurls them, “so how about that swim?” Before you have a chance to answer her lion’s paw wraps around the fabric of your shirt.
She flies over to the area of the wall that leads to the pool, dragging you along as she does. When the opening reveals the pool within it doesn’t take long for her to make her way to the water’s edge. When you hear her snap her fingers you watch in horror as your clothes are burned away in a purple wildfire. She grabs hold of your shoulder and lifts you into the air.
“Mind testing the water for me? I don’t wanna swim in it if it’s too cold.” Eris gives you a sly grin. Before you can say anything in protest she tosses you into the pool.
You furiously swim towards the surface. The chilling waters help give you that extra boost needed to swim up and take a lung full of air. It feels like it’s in between artic and northern ocean in temperature. Your body immediately begins to shiver in order to make up for the lost heat. You’re rubbing your shoulders trying to retain some semblance heat. All the while your legs are kicking in hopes of keeping your head above water. At least your teeth aren’t chattering.
Eventually your body becomes used to the water’s temperature and you stop shivering altogether. You look where Eris tossed you from to find that she’s gone. You start to search along each side of the pool in hopes of finding the now missing Draconequus. When you fail to find her you let out an angry groan before slamming a fist into the water.
You’ll get her back for this. You’re about to swim for the side of the pool until you feel talons and claws latch on to your shoulders. You shriek with fright before flailing about helplessly. It isn’t until you hear Eris laughing do you finally calm down and look to see what’s holding you. When you see that it’s her fear quickly turns into anger.
“That was hilarious,” her breath along the nape of your neck send shivers down your spine. When she lets go of you, you spin around to find her back stroking away from you.
“To you it was. Don’t do that again.” You speak through clenched teeth. Eris sticks out her tongue at you.
“See? You’re too angry. Try to laugh stuff like that off. It’s not like you’re dying.”
You open your mouth to retort, but you can already tell this won’t go anywhere for you. You decide it’d be best to stay quiet and try to get some enjoyment out of this pool. You don’t even care if you’re in the buff. The only time you can remember being in a pool this size or at all would have to be back in your early high school years. You start off slowly; using the breast stroke you move around your immediate area.
Soon you get enough courage to start crawl stroking within the water. With your feet kicking behind you, you propel yourself around the pool at a leisurely rate. Occasionally you’d turn your head to find Eris floating along or watching you as you swam around. After a few minutes of doing what you’ve been you decide to take a break and start floating upon your back as well.
While looking up at the ceiling you don’t notice as Eris snakes her way through the water and over to you. She silently glides within the water until she’s a few feet away. When she thinks she’s close enough she goes back to floating on her back. Surprisingly she doesn’t try to scare you this time. When she reaches out to poke you she doesn’t get the same jumpy reaction she got before.
“Sup?” You turn your head to face her.
“Enjoying yourself?”
You nod, “Are you?”
She shrugs, “I was at first, but swimming gets boring after a while.”
“Well you could always answer what I tried to ask on the couch. How’d you end up in Canterlot?” Eris’ eyes open wide in realization.
“Oh yeah! I didn’t, did I? Hmm, I came here because of my dad. After he was set free and was able to mess with the element bearers, he found my statue and Screwball’s. See, the elements turn creatures like me, my sister, and dad into stone. Brings harmony to disharmony or whatever those legends say. After being exposed to chaos we were released from our prisons. We’ve been here ever since.”
“Well, that was pretty short, don’t you think?” you ask with a grin, “How about you tell me what happened BEFORE being imprisoned?” And so you spend the next two hours floating around listening to each other as you tell a few stories of each other’s past. Though Eris’ list of past adventures was much larger than yours, and even though they were more exciting, you were able to keep her entertained by telling her about your family life.
While she and her sister helped spread chaos to various nations around the world, you were dealing with average life in your city. The scale tipped heavily in her favor. She sympathized with you when you mentioned your sister. When you were done telling her the story up until the event that forced you from your home she was grinding her teeth.
“Man your sister’s a cunt.” Anger is clear in her tone.
“You wouldn’t believe how close she was to making me swear off women.” You add with a laugh. Eris scoffs.
“If she did I’d have a reason to visit Earth. It’d give me an excuse to make a human have an accident, or accidents.”
“Could you? I don’t think you know how happy that’d make me.” The two of you share a short laugh after that. When it dies down the two of you look at each other, each sporting a smile. Maybe this dating thing wouldn’t be so hard after all…
It looks like you haven’t ruined it yet and all you’ve really done is act friendly. Well, you got a bit mad at some points but that’s to be expected. You’ve also got to realize that your day’s just started. Can’t get comfortable just yet, you’ll probably mess up somewhere down the line today, and as soon as you do you can kiss getting the Elements goodbye.
“So, should we wake up your sister soon or let her sleep?” You start swimming towards the edge of the pool closest to the open door.
“Yeah, and she’s gonna want lunch too. And she’ll probably want chocolate or something like that.” Eris grimaces.
“You’re right about that one.” You hear Screwball say. The two of you turn your heads to the opening to find her standing there with knowing smirk on her face. “Well what do ya know Eris; looks like you have him half way there.” She wiggles her eyebrows for emphasis, “So, could you get me one of those cotton candy clouds daddy loves making, please?” Her smirk dissolves into a childish grin.
When Eris makes her way out of the pool she’s sure to dry herself off with a little spell. You wish she’d use it on you, but it looks like you’re stuck drip drying. Eris sighs in exasperation.
“Fine,” with a snap of her talons a cotton candy cloud materializes over Screwball’s head. She squeaks with joy before leaping up and latching on to the cloud. You watch with curiosity as Screwball sinks her teeth into it. From the angle it appears as though she’s sucking the chocolate milk from it like a vampire would its victim.
Slowly but surely it shrinks as Screwball clears it of milk. When Screwball is satisfied with her drink she eats what remains of the cloud itself. She hits the ground flank first. Then Screwball licks her lips and rubs her tummy.
“That was delicious!” She now sports a satisfied grin.
“Hey, do we really have to go to Canterlot?” You try your best to ignore Screwball’s wandering eyes; but when she makes no move to look away you move your hands in front of yourself in order to block her view. She’s really got a problem.
“Well, if you’re against it THAT much it I guess we don’t have to.” Eris puts her claws to her chin in thought. Your eyes widen as a light bulb materializes above her head. When it clicks to life you watch as Eris’ smile turns sinister. “I could just show us off to your little friends in Ponyville. I’m sure Pinkie and Lyra would love to see you.”
“Okay.” You shrug, completely ignoring the evil gleam in her eyes. You can’t seem to figure out Eris. What does she mean by ‘show us off’ and why does that sound like it’ll end badly?
“Just let me get dressed first.” You move past them and back to your room. When you look inside you find the clothes you were just wearing a few hours earlier on your bed. So after drying yourself off you re-dress. You’re now ready to start the day. You’re about to head back to Eris and Screwball but come to find out they’re already waiting for you by your door.
“Alright. Let’s go.” Eris grabs hold of you, and then snaps her talons. You feel your stomach lurch as you become helpless in the face of teleportation. This is something that you’ll probably never get used to. When you’re able to see something other than a tunnel of swirling purple magic you fall to your hands and knees dry heaving. The light from the sun fills your senses only making it worse for you.
“Anon, you’ve really gotta do something about that. Some foals can teleport too and they can handle it better.” You hear Screwball say next to you.
“Kiss, my, ass,” You manage to utter in between dry heaves. After a minute or two you’re able to get to your feet. When you dust yourself off you come to find that your entrance has drawn a crowd. Various ponies stare at the three of you, some with their jaws hanging loose, and others with angry glares. “What’s with you guys?”
“They’re staring at us, Anonymous.” She motions to herself and Screwball.
“You’re kinda standing with the daughters of their ruler. You know, the one who banished their benevolent princess to the moon?” Screwball adds.
“That’s a valid point.” You flash the ponies a nervous smile. One earth mare wearing red and pink hearted clothing comes trotting up to you.
“Anonymous, are you really with THEM?” she asks in disbelief. Before you can explain yourself you feel Eris drape an arm over your shoulder.
“Yeah, I am. their dad is the one who brought me here in the first place.” You answer without missing a beat. A few ponies back away, surprised by your sudden answer. It looks like none of them thought that he was behind your appearance here in Equestria. A few ponies in the crowd shake their heads in disappointment before leaving.
“Wha-what, oh come on! I help you ponies out, and now I’m bad just because I’m around these two?” you ask while motioning to Eris and Screwball. You’re left sputtering as more ponies start to leave. Though unlike the first few, they aren’t cutting your eyes at you, nor are they shaking their heads. At least you got through to the more sensible ones.
You groan in frustration before lightly kicking at a random poker card that was sticking up. “I guess it didn’t help that I beat the crap out of Fluttershy.” You place putting your hands in your pockets. “Whatever. So what did you two have in mind?” you ask before turning to your two companions. “Well, there’s a café near the center of town.” Eris suggests.
“You mean that one I went with Bon Bon and Lyra to?” Eris nods, “alright, fine.” You lead the way through the poker card laden path through town. Unlike prior walks through the area you don’t bother to look around at the now ornamented town for too long.
All in all the various building owners have finished setting up their Hearts and Hooves Day themed decorations. Pink and red lights have been strewn up along the roofs and windows. Banners fly in the wind; some windows are even enchanted to take on a heart shaped appearance. All in all it’s as if the day itself has taken over the town. These ponies take their celebrating seriously.
Eventually you reach the café to find that it has also undergone a transformation. Heart shaped cushions and tables now sit outside while the inside of the café itself has the red, white, and pink colors of the holiday. The walls have hearts painted upon them, as do the floors and ceilings. You see various paired names written within them. Looks like a lot of ponies became couples today.
Luckily you don’t find any ponies you know. The last thing you need to do is explain your situation to Lyra or Pinkie. If you do so you’re probably out of the running for the elements. The three of you spot a booth located near the back section of the café. You take on side while Eris and Screwball take the other. It doesn’t take long for three menus to be placed upon your table.
“Oh hey there, Mocha Latte.” You give the Pegasus a small wave upon realizing who it is.
“I didn’t think I’d see you back so soon.” Mocha’s eyes scan Eris and Screwball, “and I didn’t expect to see you with those two.” Like the other pony patrons Mocha doesn’t seem to take too kindly to Eris and Screwball being around.
“Its fine, Mocha. They aren’t going to do anything to the café. I’ll make sure of it.” You reassure her before opening your menu, “We’ll let you know when we’re ready, alright?” Mocha gives them one last look before turning to you.
“Alright, thank you Anonymous, and be careful. They can be quite tricky.” She warns before making her way to the nearby counter.
“So what’d you two do to the café?” you ask while searching your menu for something to eat. Eris scratches the back of her head while Screwball giggles.
“We kinda, sorta, filled it with hot chocolate,” Eris says with a nervous giggle.
“And it was delicious!” Screwball adds with glee.
“Well that’s nice,” you’re sure to sound disinterested while flipping a page. While Eris notices your sarcasm, your tone seems to fly right over Screwball’s head.
“I know right?! Daddy loved it too!” She eyes the interior. It looks like she’s contemplating doing it again.
“Screwball, no.” you sound like you’re reprimanding your pet. She turns to you sporting a huge frown. You will not be swayed with quivering lips. Back on to the subject of food. You’re thinking about getting the exact same thing you got before. After all it was probably one of the best treats you’ve had since coming here. The cheesecake is delicious, and you’d love to have some more, but there’s a problem. You have no bits, at all. How are you going to pay for this?
“Hey girls?” you ask as you motion to the menu in your hand. “How are we going to pay for this? I have no money.” They laugh at your statement. You can’t find what’s funny about it.
“Anonymous, Discord rules Equestria and we’re his daughters. We don’t pay for anything, and since you’re with us that applies to you too.” Eris explains while closing her menu. Despite the position you’re in you still feel bad for not paying for your meal, or giving a tip for that matter. If that’s how things are going to work around here you’re not going to say anything against it. After all you’re broke.
“So, what are you two getting?” You close your menu with your choice in mind.
“I’m getting the raspberry doughnut stacked cake.” Screwball licks her chops before tossing her menu in a random direction. You shut your eyes tight when you realize what’s coming.
You cringe when the menu explodes along the wall of the café, leaving a black singed area of impact. A few ponies around the area dive under their tables in fear. All activity within the café stops. Ponies turn to stare at the three of you.
“She’s sorry.” You flash them a nervous grin. A few of them start glaring and whispering among themselves.
“No I’m not.” Screwball tells you before blowing raspberries. You shake your head.
“Damn it Screwball.” Knowing you won’t be able to instill respect into her you turn to Eris, the same question in mind.
“I’ll go with a couple of blueberry muffins and a caramel frappe. This place makes their stuff in a way that tastes so much better than what I get at Canterlot.” Eris states with enthusiasm before shutting her menu. Unlike Screwball she doesn’t casually toss it over her shoulder. Thankfully she has some sense.
“Probably helps to have a working building that doesn’t spring up every few seconds.” Finally Mocha makes her presence known.
“So are you ready to order?” Mocha asks while looking between the three of you. You nod before handing Mocha your menu.
“I’ll have the raspberry cheesecake with an iced coffee.” You say before placing your hands and elbows upon the table. As soon as they give their orders Mocha heads to the back of the café… but not before looking over the scorch mark on the wall.
“I’ll get someone to clean that up.” Mocha says, her voice oozing with annoyance. She disappears behind the café counter. As you wait Screwball goes on a small rant over how she’d change up the café. Rather than take in the beauty of the decorations that probably took these ponies hours to set up, she’s talking about how terrible they look.
You and Eris just sit in silence and listen to her go on and on. Well, neither of you really listen. You two virtually sit there with your heads in your hands. Will Screwball ever shut up? Yes, she will, thank God. A good ten minutes of talking is silenced when your food comes to the table.
Screwball happily digs in while you and Eris eat your respective dishes calmly. Like before, you savor the taste of your cheesecake. You would definitely pay whoever made this all of your bits if you could. It appears as though Eris is enjoying her muffins as well. She occasionally takes a few sips of her frappe. All in all the three of you eat on in silence. None wish to acknowledge the obvious stares you’re getting from the ponies that can’t seem to leave well enough alone.
Oh well, it’s not as if you can do anything about it. You know an outburst will only exacerbate things for you. You don’t notice but Eris seems to be eying you eating your cheesecake. When you finally look up from your plate you find her staring.
“What?” You forget you’re still chewing up bits of cheesecake. Your voice comes out muffled and little bits of food fall from your mouth. She giggles and you cover your mouth in response. And here you thought you could get comfortable. You swallow your food before wiping away any excess from your mouth via a napkin.
“Enjoying your food, aren’t ya?” She smiles and you nod in response, “can I get a bite? I gotta try it, if you stuff your face it must be good.” Eris motions to your cheesecake. For a brief moment you feel like shoving what’s left of your precious meal into your gullet in order to keep her from getting a bite. But you decide against it considering you’d look like a jackass and you wouldn’t succeed. So instead you push your plate towards Eris. She looks from you, to your plate, then back to you.
“What?”
“I’m not going to just take it off your plate with my claws.” Eris speaks out of disgust. You tilt your head to the side and give her an irritated glare.
“Well then what do you propose I do?” you immediately regret asking that question. You know just what she’s about to ask.
“You feed it to me of course,” Eris flashes you a toothy grin. Screwball has stopped eating and is now looking at the two of you. A sly smirk planted on her face.
“Ha. Nope.” You chuckle. You look between the two daughters of Discord. Their smiles slowly turn into frowns while yours simply widens. Eris lets out a few fake coughs; you can clearly hear her say the word “elements” in between them. She clears her throat for emphasis.
“Eris that sounds serious. Need a Ricola?” Screwball mockingly asks before turning back to her cake made out of doughnuts. How do they even know what those are?!
“No I’ll be fine just as soon as Anon—” you cut off a bit of your cheesecake with a fork and balance it. “There we go.” Her smile returns. She leans in and opens her mouth her snake-like tongue hangs out of her mouth loosely. Eris gives you a half lidded gaze and you can’t help but feel uncomfortable. Your reluctance is apparent, but if it’s for the elements…
You bring the fork up and over to her maw. She uses her tongue to close what little distance there is. You visibly shake when her long, wet muscle wraps around your forks and around your fingers. When she leans in and takes the food from your fork you pull away as soon as her tongue becomes slack.
Eris chews slowly, letting out soft moans of satisfaction as she swallows your cheesecake piece. You can feel sadness well within your chest. You almost want to cry, your precious cheesecake piece is gone now.
“That was delicious.” Eris accentuates with a sigh of satisfaction. She looks over her last remaining muffin. Then she gives you a devious grin. “I think I need to return the favor.” She picks up her muffin. You shake your head.
“Oh no, its fine, there’s no need-” You would say more, but Eris has forced your mouth open with magic. She wastes no time in shoving her meal down your throat. You cough as your lips are forced closed in order for you to hopelessly chew your food.
While the muffin tastes freshly made you cannot savor it considering you’ve virtually swallowed it whole. When you feel it finally slide down your esophagus you open your mouth to breathe. Screwball is busy laughing her little flank off while Eris is snickering. You look around at the patrons. Some are looking on in disgust while Mocha Latte is pretending to have one of them in a headlock.
She beats the air with her hoof where Screwball’s or Eris’ head would be. She doesn’t like what they did one bit and neither did you. Screw the elements. Without saying a single thing you get out of your chair and head out the door. Neither seems to notice you leave considering they’re laughing with their eyes closed. Once you slam the door behind you Mocha Latte trots over to the two laughing sisters sporting a cocky grin on her face.
“Hey girls, guess what?” Mocha asks happily.
Screwball wipes away a tear before looking at Mocha. “What?”
Her smile widens, “your date’s gone.” She trots away laughing all the while.
Eris’ mirth dies off instantly. Her eyes widen when she sees your seat empty.
“What?" Screwball looks on in disbelief, then she turns to face her sister, “hey Eris?"
"Yes?"
"I think we bucked up."
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Celestia/Luna dammit I love reading this story, always a priority to read the next chapter when it comes out. Keep up the great work
One question Eris mom is Celestia?
2199269
In all honesty, i haven't put much thought into who her mom could be.
2199484
Oh, well is that all those fan art that Discord and Celestia having something plus, the fact that he never tell and is a delicate subject…but hey, you can leave that blank, it's not affect the story and give some air of mystery.
I can't wait to see, what Pinkie will do, next chapter, perhaps Annon will ask her why she is not with somepony special, of course after he is sure Pinkie is still his friend
MORE... FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MORE!
I wonder if Anon would turn out to be like Discord's lost son or something.
2199969
Moar?
2200181
that'd be a turrible idea
Hell no
Explosive menus. GENIUS
2199484
Please no.
2203207
Better yet I could make Princess Sugarlicious her Mom!
http://imgur.com/ow8JA2s
2203835
.........Or.... you could make her mother an oc draconequus.
2203872
-------------->The joke
Your head.
I don't know if I'll ever introduce her mother honestly.
If I do I don't even know where I'd begin making her as an OC.
TRIPLE RHYME
2523920
Like a motherfucking boss!
Boo hoo, our resident little bitch can't take a bit of teasing. I'll shed tears for him... Wait, no I won't.
4106785 No....just--just no. The guy doesn't need this kind of crap, especially from YOU.
The cheesecake cries out in agony, "Why senpai? Don't leave me!"
You can only reply with heart wrenching sadness and regret, "I'm sorry my love. It's for the greater good."
As you clench your fist you hold it outstretched towards the sky in metaphysical anger, as Cheesecaku-chan is lost to the maw of Discord's spawn.
7276454
what the fuck
Wow, a few things in this chapter really soured Anon for me. He comes off as a misanthropic brat. More so than the rest of the story. Talking with his mouth full and being childishly selfish about his food. More so than ever before he comes across as a disgusting man child. I'm done.