A Revolting Development
Thweet Geniuth
Chapter 18 A Revolting Development
“I’ve been listening to Grand Chef Éclair bully you for what feels like forever,” said Happy. “I managed to escape the worst of it, because for some strange reason he thinks I’m a simpleton. But I’ve hated the way he’s treated the rest of you. Maybe I should have said something, but I thought you all had to make up your own minds. Besides, I don’t think you guys take my advice very seriously.”
“I guess that makes us unanimous, Merry,” said Smarty. “Except for you.”
Merry struggled to regain some control. “Okay, we need some changes. We can sit down with the Grand Chef and talk, right after the show…”
“No, Merry,” said Smarty. “Things change now. Not for the next show. For this show.”
“We can still turn this around,” cried Merry. “All it would take is a few snarky comments about Twist’s showpiece…”
“That’s not going to happen.”
“Why not? She’s going to lose anyway!”
“It’s over, Merry,” said Doc. “All anyone will remember is what Twist has already done. The Grand Chef will win, but Twist will look like the winner.”
Happy giggled. “Twist will get the most celebrated second place in the whole history of coming in second!”
“It doesn’t have to be that way,” cried Merry. “With a few snide remarks you could spin it that Twist was just lucky. You could compare her showpiece to a child’s drawing on a refrigerator. We can still salvage this for the Grand Chef!”
“Are you listening to yourself, Merry?”
“How can you carry on when you know you want to join us?”
“What are you still fighting for?”
“He doesn’t love you, Merry.”
“What?” sputtered Merry. “Happy, what are you talking about?”
“Éclair doesn’t love you, Merry,” said Happy. “No matter what you do for him he will never feel for you what you feel for him.”
“I don’t… I never… he’s just a…” Merry trailed off. “How did you know, Happy?”
“A better question would be ‘How did everypony else miss it?’ Really, where did you all get this silly idea that I don’t notice stuff? But Merry, you have to know that there is room in the Grand Chef’s heart for only one pony, and that is himself.”
“That might not be true. We’ve had moments… I think. When we’re alone he’s sometimes nice to me…” Merry gave up. “I’ve just led myself straight down the path to Tartarus, haven’t I?”
“I’m sorry, Merry,” said Scooter. “How do we help you?”
Merry did not answer right away.
“Merry?”
“Merry?!”
“Give me a moment,” said Merry. “I’ve got a few years of denial to work through here.”
“You aren’t thinking of doing something stupid, are you?”
“No, I’ve already done that. I’m thinking of doing something smart.”
“Oh, good,” said Happy. “Because I think that’s my job. I think it’s even in my contract, for some reason I don’t understand.”
Merry took off her headset and got up to leave the control booth.
“So, what are you going to do, Merry?” asked Curtains.
“I’ll try to run interference for you with the Grand Chef. But first I need to take a meeting.”
#
Princess Luna read the note an usher had just handed her thoughtfully, then rose to leave. “Excuse Us, children, We have some pressing business to conduct.”
Shortly after Luna left Scootaloo and Sporky returned. To reach their seats they had to slip passed Silver Spoon.
“Ewwww! You guys are gross!” cried Silver. “What have you been rolling in?”
They were covered with dust, cobwebs and grease.
“We had to hide from a maintenance pony,” said Scootaloo. This was all the explanation she offered.
“Which was only necessary because he came to reset the circuit breakers,” grumbled Sporky. “We’d have been fine if somepony hadn’t tripped the breakers in the first place.”
“Fine!” snapped Scootaloo. “Next time I’ll hold the flashlight and you use the wire clippers.”
“That wouldn’t work, I had to read the schematic while you made the cut, because you can’t read schematics.”
“I’m not so sure you can, either!”
“What did you two do?” Sweetie Belle demanded to know.
“Oh, we’ve been inspecting the Coliseum’s wiring.” The innocent tone Scootaloo affected was not convincing.
“Their security down there is pretty lax, especially given how worried they are about the rest of the building,” noted Sporky. “The door was ajar.”
“I think some pony was working down there this morning and just left it.”
“Well, whatever they were doing is definitely wasn’t cleaning.” Sporky brushed a bit of spider web off his ear.
“What did you do?” Sweetie Belle demanded again, more forcefully this time.
“Oh, we found an extra feature wired into the Challenger’s Kitchen fans,” said Sporky.
“And we thought that was really not fair to the Grand Chef,” continued Scootaloo, smugly.
“So we spliced it onto his kitchen’s exhaust system,” concluded Sporky.
#
“Smarty, stand by to intro the final round,” called Curtains. “Okay, everypony, we get to do the rest of the show right.” A good start, he thought, would be to turn this awful thing off. He flipped the switch that disengaged the Heat Hammer.
Curtains had no way of knowing that the off switch had been burnt out. He looked at the temperature gauge for the Challenger’s Kitchen, and was pleased to see that the temperature was already returning to normal. He did not look at the gauge for the Grand Chef’s kitchen. Curtains had no reason to think he should.
#
“Alright, everypony, we have seen the opening acts, now it’s time for the main event,” declared Smarty. “The Sugar Showpiece. I know everypony else in the Coliseum is ready for this, how about you, Chefs? Challenger, are you ready?”
“Yeth, Mithter Brickoven.”
“Grand Chef Éclair, are you ready?”
“Ready and eager.”
“You may begin.”
#
The Grand Chef became a scarlet blur, seemingly trying to fly to everywhere in his kitchen at once. His assistants rushed to obey his every bellow; given his current mood, it would take very little to trigger the Grand Chef’s rage and no pony wanted to get their head bitten off. No pony was completely sure that it would only be figurative.
#
“Guyths, I know you want to thelebrate, but we have work to do.” They had been celebrating since the winner of round two was announced, and Twist really didn’t want to make them stop, but she had a tower of sugar to assemble.
Apple Bloom stopped dancing with Bon Bon. “Yes, Chef. Sorry, Chef.”
“I’m going to need a pot of isomalt ready to add color… I mean it, Apple Bloom, thtop dancing.”
“Ah’m sorry, Chef.”
Twist just grinned. She was feeling better than she had in days.
#
“What do you have for us tonight, Grand Chef?”
“The Cloudiseum of Cloudsdale.”
“You plan to take us to the races, Grand Chef?”
“Certainly, Oates,” answered the Grand Chef. “The pegasi will actually race on my Sugar Showpiece. The whole thing will move. And aside from the spring and winding mechanism, and a music box drum for the orchestra, all of the moving parts will be edible. I can even adjust the weighting on each competitor so each race may end differently. Do you wish to place a bet, Oates?”
“I always bet on Fleetfoot, Grand Chef,” said Oates. “It sounds magnificent. What do you think of your competitor’s efforts?”
The Grand Chef shook his head. “I am deeply disappointed in the Challenger, Oates. It appears she has decided to rest on her laurels and is no longer even trying.”
“She seems to be working quite industriously, Grand Chef…”
“Oates, please, she is doing one of the Great Stained Glass Windows from the palace at Canterlot.” The Grand Chef waved dismissively. “They are so magnificent sugar artists find them irresistible. And that is the trap young Peppermint has fallen into. Every sugar artist in Equestria has done the Windows. I find the notion that my little challenger can do anything original laughable. But it is not actually funny, so I shall not laugh.”
“I believe the Challenger’s real name is…”
The Grand Chef was quick to interrupt. “Looking into her kitchen I see that Peppermint is already reproducing her Window all wrong. And she is using candy canes for support structures? Really? I suppose her candy canes are very nice. Peppermint has applied herself to mastering them. Most of us go on to better things earlier in our careers.”
“Peppermint is not her…”
“One final thing, Oates. I think her choice of 'Nightmare Night’s Defeat By The Elements of Harmony' for a Window is an insult to our Princess. No, little Peppermint has gotten lucky and deceived us into believing she is a winner. Her showpiece will remind us that she is just a little girl playing at adult games. Now excuse me, Oates, I have a real showpiece to assemble.”
Oates knew better than to say another word when the Grand Chef dismissed him. But he did note that the Grand Chef seemed to be perspiring. Oates had never seen him sweat.
#
“Well, Grand Chef Éclair is certainly in fine form,” grumped Happy. “He can be such a meanie!”
“Be that as it may be,” said Smarty. “The Grand Chef makes several points. Judges, your opinions?”
“I differ with him as far as Twist’s candy canes,” said Almond. “They are spectacular! Rather than making stripes, Twist blends the colors; they fade into one another seamlessly.”
“They’re so pretty!” exclaimed Happy. “Also, I want to say, the Grand Chef totally missed the point when he said Twist is getting the Window all wrong. I can see what she’s doing; can any of you?”
“I can,” said Doc. “The real Window is highly stylized. Twist has re-envisioned it. The sugar figures she is making are realistic instead. Very realistic. Twist’s work is almost photographic. It’s quite stunning.”
“That makes sense,” said Almond. “Coming from Ponyville, Twist very likely knows the bearers of the Elements of Harmony personally.”
“The Grand Chef did say he wanted something original,” laughed Happy.
“Can I also say, I want to apologize for my earlier statement about Chef Twist being slow?” asked Doc. “She’s not slow, she’s methodical. Deliberate. Twist doesn’t waste a single move. Look how much work she’s done in such a short time.”
“That’s as opposed to the Grand Chef, who flies around his kitchen flamboyantly, playing for the crowd.” Happy began to giggle. “He always reminds me of some big tropical bird, showing off for a potential mate!”
“So, you we all seem to like the Challenger’s Showpiece so far,” said Smarty. “In light of that, do any of you like Twist’s chances in the final round?”
They all answered together. “No.”
“Yeah, me neither.”
#
“Princess Luna, what do you think of the contest so far?” The break in the middle of the third round had begun and the Chefs weren’t doing anything interesting. Oates was grateful when Princess Luna signaled that she wanted another interview. It gave him something to entertain the crowd with, and most of the crowd had remained in their seats during the break.
“We are enjoying it very much, Mr. Oates,” Luna answered. “But We do wish to address one of the Grand Chef’s comments, if We may.”
“Certainly, Princess.”
“He suggested that We should be insulted by Twist’s selection of Our Window. This is far from the truth. We do not consider the event portrayed as ‘Our Defeat.’ We, with Our sister, celebrate this as Our liberation from the Nightmare. Twist understands Us much better than the Grand Chef does.”
“Then you are looking forward to seeing the finished piece?”
“Oh, yes, very much. We also recall the Grand Chef made mention of how he holds a Royal Commission. This is true. However, I am planning to speak with the Master of the Household about adding Twist to the catering staff, perhaps for the next Grand Galloping Gala.”
“Princess, did you just say “I am planning,’?”
“Yes. I’m considering dropping the Royal We from my speech. Do you think it will go over well?”
“It might.”
#
“I’m very proud of you for staying rather than fleeing from Mr. Oates, Quizzical. Quizzical? Quizzical?”
Quiz was staring towards the back of the Grand Chef’s kitchen, her eyes half shut and unfocused. She did not respond to the Princess.
“Ssssh! Don’t interrupt her, Princess Luna,” said Sweetie Belle. “I think Quiz is listening to something.”
#
Quiz had been watching the mare who Sweetie Belle told her was producer Merry Fairweather. Quiz marveled that she recognized Merry. She now recalled seeing her in Ponyville on several occasions. Quiz simply hadn’t noticed Merry at the time. It was obvious that it was Merry who had been carrying out all the Grand Chef’s nefarious orders, and this puzzled Quiz. Why would any pony do such things? Quiz had kept track of Merry, hoping for some clue that would help her to understand.
Merry had disappeared after the second round, but Quiz finally spied her heading for the back of the Grand Chef’s kitchen. Quiz really did not like to eaves drop. It was very rude.
But Quiz could not resist.
Bbbzzzt! “Grand Chef, we need to talk.”
“Oh, good, Fairweather. I need you to do something for me.”
“The entire staff is in open revolt! You have to do something to settle…”
“Yes, yes, we’ll need to begin a great purge right after tonight’s contest. Begin with Happy. She’s saying unkind things about me and I just can’t have that.”
“Grand Chef… Blitzen, please! It’s time to do the right thing…”
“I need you to start a fire in the Challenger’s Kitchen.”
“What?!”
“Nothing large. But it must destroy the girl’s showpiece, and it must look as if the little clod did it herself. Get right on that, Fairweather.”
“What makes you think I even know how to do that?”
“You’ve done it before. In Ponyville. I’ve seen your expense accounts.”
“Yes, I changed the Sweet Shop’s order. I arranged for several months of supplies to show up, but that’s all. The fire was an accident.”
“Really?”
“Really. Those extra supplies were just supposed to disrupt their kitchen. Twist would have just lost a night or two of practice while they sorted it out and put it all away, but that was supposed to be all. No pony was supposed to be trapped by that pallet of supplies. No pony was meant to spend a week in the hospital.”
“So you don’t actually know anything about arson? That is disappointing. I was looking forward to seeing Peppermint present the judges with a pile of molten slag and smoking ruin.”
“I can’t believe you asked me to do that! Quiz Greystone almost died in that fire! And it would have been my fault!”
“Eggs and omelets, Fairweather. Think of some other calamity we can arrange for the brat if you can’t do a fire.”
“How about you grow a conscience and act like a responsible adult?”
“How dare you speak to me that way? Are you also revolting against me?”
“I’m the last friend you have, and I’m trying to save you from yourself. You have to stop bullying the staff and you have to show the Challenger a little common courtesy. You have to get over this unhealthy disregard for the feelings of your fellow ponies. And you are running out of time. If you don’t stop acting like a cartoon super villain you are going to lose everything!”
“You dare! No pony speaks to me that way! No pony!”
“Blitzen, no! Please don’t! STOP!”
Crash!!!
The noise hurt Quiz’s ear and she had to break the spell. She sat stunned, shaking her head in an attempt to clear it. Finally, she gasped, “He has hurt her.”
“Who has been hurt, Quizzical?” asked a very concerned Princess Luna.
“My… arch-enemy… I think. It is very hard to explain.”
#
Merry lay across the wreckage of a toppled rack of pots and pans. The Grand Chef stood over her. “Security! Drag this traitorous mare out of here by her mane!”
“No, I’ll walk myself out,” said Merry. She tried painfully to rise, but only managed to send a few pots rolling across the kitchen. “Um, could you help me up, please?”
Two huge guard stallions got Merry standing, then escorted her, limping, to the nearest exit. At the door she stopped and asked, “Could one of you please get me my hat?” That was all she said when she left.
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The cartoon super villain line had me. Great piece of work.
1943322 The art is thanks to Book Wyrm
What a plothole! He'll get his, I'm sure. This is why chef's should not go on shows like Iron Chef. The celebrity chefs are part of the network so they win too much. Chopped and Sweet Genius are fine because it's straight competition. Sugar Dome sucks!
You said she stopped, but then... Huh?
"chefs"
The consistent scene-breaking was a touch jarring, but a nice chapter overall.
FiMfiction! Y U NO GIVE ME UPDATE!!!
Ok. It takes a special kind of douchecanoe to fire someone after assaulting them.
Grade S arsehole doesn't really cover it. Especially since he probably knows full well Merry is in love with him. Bit surprised he actually asked Merry to set Twists kitchen on fire. I knew he was a jerk but damn! Course, he is in the throes of a slow burn villainous breakdown, so that may be part of it.
Poor Merry. I think we can safely say she has more than paid for what she has done.
mfw>
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1u2mvksEr1r7um6t.jpg
Ya know, Chief, I'd be more careful about committing full blown assault near one of the princesses of Equestra (who are presumably the highest legal authority in the land). At this point, Luna would be well within her rights to stop the entire completion and call for a magistrate if she learns of what you just did.
“So we spliced it onto his kitchen’s exhaust system,”
Sooo... instead of disabling it for Twist, who can handle the heat, they've just given them BOTH too much heat?
Oh, no. they just switched it. Huh. I thought splicing meant splitting it into two and using both...
"Great Stained Glass Windows"
Pleeeease let it be the Discord one
Aw, just Nightmare Moon. Pity. I wanted to see it move
and lol @ the "cartoon super villain" thing. Talk about lampshading
Remarks:
> Well, whatever they were doing is definitely wasn’t cleaning
That "is" seems out of place. If it was meant to be "it" instead of "is", it needs a comma before it.
> So, you we all seem to like the Challenger’s Showpiece so far,
Not sure what that "you" is doing there.
> the Chef’s weren’t doing anything interesting
"the Chefs". Apostrophe+s is possessive. This is just plural.
Have what a villain he was...
Was that the punch some pony waslooking for.... Well you got it.
And a new target for the next one.
Ah, now it all makes sense. Poor heartbroken Merry.