"...Then Get Out Of The Kitchen."
Thweet Geniuth
Chapter 16 “…Then Get Out Of The Kitchen.”
Creak!
Merry was pushing the breaking strain of yet another clipboard.
“Would you call this ‘golden’?” asked Doc, holding up one of Twist’s candies. “Or is this more of an ‘amber’?”
I give the kid the secret ingredient everypony says she can’t handle, thought Merry, and she responds by inventing a new shade of yellow.
“These are so much fun!” exclaimed Happy. She was holding a candy up to the studio lights. “When the light strikes them just right they glow green!”
“Stop playing with your food, Happy.”
“But Chef Twist has made a game of her candy, Almond! She’s color coded them all with a dot of dyed white chocolate on the bottom. You can look up what the colors mean, or just try to guess. Or if you prefer surprises you can just not turn it over and look. I love surprises!” Happy popped a candy in her mouth whole. “Ooooh, blueberry! I really like blueberry!”
“You have to commend Chef Twist for her industry,” said Doc. “We only expect two or three flavors, and she gave us eight. And, I must add, all eight are flavors that are made better when paired with vanilla. Mmmmm, I just got a cinnamon one.”
“But is this truly honoring the secret ingredient?” asked Almond. “Or is the vanilla secondary to the flavor centers? If you nibble about the edges all you get is vanilla. I find it bland.”
“That might just be your personal taste as far as vanilla, Almond,” said Smarty. “Do you think, maybe Chef Twist’s friend who likes vanilla just has bland taste in candy?”
“You would have to ask her, Smarty.”
#
“Oh, dear,” muttered Quiz. “Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon are both in the audience and no doubt heard that. At school I may soon be known as ‘She who likes her candy bland.’”
“It’s okay, Quiz,” said Dinky. “Maybe they’ll just call you ‘She who likes vanilla.’ That’s better than ‘the Hypothetical Projectile.’”
“No it isn’t!” exclaimed Scootaloo. “’Hypothetical Projectile’ is way cool.”
“Bother,” grumbled Quiz. “Most of my classmates no longer tease me, yet I am still acquiring new nicknames. This did not use to matter to me.”
“Then do not let it bother you now, Quizzical,” said Princess Luna. “All the ponies worth listening to will simply call you Quiz.”
“Amen!” declared Sweetie Belle.
“I shall have to make a note of that.”
#
Get on with it! thought Merry. Her clipboard groaned.
“The Grand Chef has wonderfully deconstructed a vanilla, almond latte and reconstructed it as a bon bon. The root beer float is equally wonderful. But the star of the plate is the banana cream pie, without the pie.”
Get on with it! Normally, Merry loved to listen to the judges talk about the sweets; but tonight she just couldn’t stand to wait. She needed them to just award the round to the Grand Chef, and she needed them to do it right now!
Creeeeeeak!
#
“Light-ning! Light-ning! Light-ning!”
While the judges deliberated the Grand Chef worked the crowd.
Over the Challenger’s Gallery, a huge midnight blue display flashed off and on.
“TWIST!!! TWIST!!! TWIST!!!”
It was very sparkly.
“We like this spell of yours, Quizzical. We can imagine having much fun with this!”
“Thank you, Princess. I had never imagined it could be made so very … er … very … vivid.”
“Can we make it move, Quizzical? Will the words crawl about, for instance? Oh, We know! Can we get the letters to spin?!”
“I shall have to think about that, Princess.”
#
“It was once again a very difficult decision,” announced Smarty, once the judges had finally finished their deliberation. “Very difficult.”
I don’t like the sound of that, thought Merry. Oh, no! Oh, guys, don’t do what I think you’re going to do!
Creeak!
“It was one of the closest rounds we have ever had,” continued Smarty. “And we ended with a split decision.”
Don’t do it! Don’t do it!
Creeeak!!
“Under the rules, in the event of a tie we make our final decision based on the points for presentation.”
Don’tdoitdon’tdoitdon’tdoitdon’tdoitdon’tdoitdon’tdoit…!
Creeeeeeak!!!
“We award this round to the Challenger, Chef Twist.”
Creeeeeeeeeeeeeeak!!!! Crack!!!
Thud. Thud.
#
The ponies in the crowd didn’t know whether to sit in stunned silence or to cheer like maniacs, so they did a little of both. Many ponies took this occasion to move to seats in the Challenger’s Gallery. They wanted to get a better look at this incredible little filly that had beaten the Grand Chef twice. The trickle of ponies moving to Twist’s side of the Coliseum became a stream. Before the second intermission was over the stream would become a flood.
#
“Oh, my gothsh, Mithter Oates! I don’t know how to dethcribe thith!” enthused Twist. “I mean, I juth came here to make my betht candy, I never dreamed I’d win anything! No pony ever beat the Grand Chef twice! No pony! Exthept, well, me. I gueth I juth did. Wow! Ith it warm, or am I juth exthited?”
“Perhaps a little of both, Chef Twist.”
“Thath’s not my… wait! Thath’s my name!”
“Yes, Chef Twist.”
“Oh, thank you, Mithter Oates! Thank you, thank you!” Twist leapt at the floor reporter and gave him a huge hug.
#
Oates was not able to get a comment from the other side of the Coliseum. Grand Chef Éclair had already locked himself in his dressing room.
#
“Merry?”
“Shut up, Smarty! Just don’t talk to me.”
“Merry, you have to understand…”
“No. So just shut up.” In her imagination, Merry could hear something go ‘Whoosh!’ It was her career. “I don’t know what to do next. Guys, you’re the food experts, you tell me. Does cyanide go better with apple sauce or vanilla pudding?”
“Don’t take it so hard, Merry,” said Almond. “It’s just 40 per cent of the total score. There’s still the Sugar Show Piece, and that’s all technique.”
“Twist has had months to learn what the Grand Chef has spent decades perfecting,” said Doc. “Relax, Merry, Twist can’t go any further.”
“Just winning isn’t enough, and the Grand Chef is not forgiving,” whined Merry. “And you guys aren’t even trying to help me anymore. I feel so alone.”
“Merry?”
“Scooter? Oh, good, I need you to get me a new clip board.”
“Merry, I have a message from the Grand Chef.”
“Oh.” There was a long silence. “Tell him I’ll be right there.”
“Um, no, Merry. The Grand Chef doesn’t want to see you.”
Merry gulped hard. “What did he say, Scooter?”
“I’ll paraphrase…”
“No, Scooter. What did he say?”
“He said he doesn’t care if you just leave the Coliseum, or if you leave Equestria, or if you get on a rocket and leave the planet, just so long as you get out of his sight.” Scooter paused before adding, miserably, “You have five minutes before I’m supposed to call Security. I’m sorry, Merry.”
It was Almond who finally broke the uncomfortable silence. She spoke gently to Merry. “This has happened before. And each time the Grand Chef has forgotten all about it by the mid-segment break. Everything will be fine, Merry.”
It occurred to Merry that when you have Bitter Almond’s sympathy you must truly be pathetic.
“In an hour he’ll be bellowing your name, and wondering where you are because he needs you. Again,” said Smarty. “Seriously, what is this, the seventh time he’s thrown you out of the Coliseum?”
“The eighth,” said Merry. “But I think it’s different this time. I think I’m really fired.”
“Come to the Control Room, Merry,” said Curtains. “You can hide up here with me until the Grand Chef wants you back.”
#
While everypony else celebrated, Quiz stared at Twist’s kitchen. Finally, she declared, “It is growing warmer.”
“Oh, no! Quiz, are you alright?” cried Sweetie Belle.
“Oh, yes, I am not bothered, but I can sense it. I am very sensitive, but if even I can feel it from this distance then Twist’s kitchen must be terribly hot.”
“What’s the matter, Quiz?” laughed Scootaloo. “Are you afraid they are going to make you stoke the fires?”
“Shut up, Scoot, that’s not funny!” cried Sweetie Belle. As far as Quiz’s many close calls, it would always be too soon for Sweetie Belle.
“They have stallions under the stage for that task,” said Quiz, matter of factly.
Sporky squinted at the vents over the kitchen. “The fans are off. You can tell from the dust motes in the air. There’s no air flow.”
Quiz’s ears twitched. “But I can hear the fans.”
Sporky shook his head. “That’s canned sound, a recording of the fan motors. Some of the fun houses at the Fair use special effects like that. Your ears tell you there should be air movement; your other senses say there isn’t. You’d be surprised how disorienting that is.”
“That’s cheating!” exclaimed Dinky.
“Try and prove it,” grumbled Sweetie Belle.
“I’ve got an idea,” said Scootaloo. “Spork, do you have your multi-tool?”
Sporky slapped the holster on his hip with a wing. “You know me, Scoot. I’m always prepared.”
“How are you with wiring?”
Sporky shrugged. “I can figure it out. I’m versatile.”
“Then follow me.” The two friends soon disappear into the crowd.
#
Outside the Coliseum the crowd was spilling into the street. The Manehattan police sent extra officers to help with crowd control, and traffic cops just to keep things moving without any pony being squashed by a cart. The vice squad also sent detectives, but they arrived well behind the city’s bookmakers. The betting was running wild.
Dolly Square Garden called and asked if they could rebroadcast the contest on their own Tron.
Inside the Coliseum the migration to the Challenger’s Gallery continued. Ponies wanted to be seated in front of Twist’s side before the intermission was over.
“Silvey, where are you going?” Diamond Tiara called to her friend.
“I’m sorry, Diamond,” answered Silver Spoon. “But I’m going to go sit on Twist’s side.”
#
“Well, judges, what are your observations?” asked Smarty.
“Chef Twist has been little less than miraculous thus far,” said Doc. “But I don’t believe in miracles. The reality is she now faces the Sugar Showplace. This technical portion of the contest separates talented naturals such as Twist from seasoned professionals such as the Grand Chef.”
“I agree,” said Almond. “The experience gap between them is insurmountable. With 60 percent of the score still to win or lose I can see only one possible outcome. It pleases me no end that Chef Twist is so happy with what she has already achieved. I fear it will have to be enough.”
“You guys are just awful!” exclaimed Happy. “It’s just wrong to declare Twist the loser before she’s even begun to assemble her first candy tower. And Chef Twist is so cute! I want to take her home with me. Since I can’t take her home I want a fuzzy Twist toy. Say, that’s a good idea. If we made fuzzy Twist toys we could sell millions!”
“Well, I worry that the stress of the first two rounds may have caught up with Chef Twist,” said Doc. “She seems to be feeling the heat.”
“Yet according to my notes, Twist says the heat never bothers her,” said Smarty. “Mind you, that’s in her own kitchen. She’s a long way from the penny… from Bon Bon’s Gourmet Candies.”
Listening down in the Challenger’s Kitchen, Bon Bon offered Smarty a polite nod.
“My notes also say that Twist recently set her kitchen on fire?”
“No, Almond, that was one of Twist’s young friend’s fault, not Chef Twist’s.”
“Oh, dear. I hope it wasn’t the filly who is assisting her.”
“Guys, please stop talking about the fire. Please.” It was Merry.
Smarty switched to a private channel, “Merry, are you alright?”
“No, no I’m not. So please just stop talking about that stupid fire.”
In the control booth, Curtains offered Merry his handkerchief so she could dry her eyes.
#
Everything was interrupted by a loud pop, followed by all the lights going out. The blackout only lasted a few seconds.
No pony heard the harsh whisper from far beneath the seats, under the control booth where the fuse boxes were. “Scoot! I said cut the green wire!”
#
“You know, Merry,” said Curtains. He had been stewing for the entire contest and he couldn’t take it any longer. “I could always go back to my job at the Royal Equestrian Opera House. It was about a fifth the money, but I really loved that job.”
“I was having similar thoughts,” said Oates. “I have friends who have been after me to go back to sports casting. I don’t have to do this.”
“Stop it, Guys,” said Merry. “Don’t even think it.”
“Why not?” demanded Curtains. “I have a chance to do the best show of my life, and I don’t want to miss it. Even if it’s the last show I ever do.”
“Seriously, Guys, please stop. It’s not just about my job; you all have careers to lose.”
“The Grand Chef may be able to replace any of us,” called Smarty, “But he can’t replace all of us at once. Not in the middle of a show.”
“We could do the right thing,” said Doc. “That would feel good.”
“Don’t fight us, Merry,” pleaded Almond. “Please join us.”
“They’re right, Merry,” said Scooter. “You gave me the skills. After assisting you to assist the Grand Chef I could go anywhere and be anypony’s assistant, and it would be easier. I don’t have to do this. None of us do.”
Once Scooter joined the revolt it was all over. He would be the last pony to quit on Merry.
The next voice they heard came as a surprise to everypony.
“I can’t tell you how long I’ve waited to hear you all say that.”
“Happy? Curtains, Happy’s headset is live!”
“Of course it is, Silly! That switch you use to cut me out? I came into the studio after hours and disabled it with a pair of wire cutters several seasons ago.”
Stats
Page generated in 0.046 seconds
Total duration
673 users online
899,553 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
A little late to go to the light side now, guys but whatever.
Well played, you odd little pony. Pinkie would be proud of you, Happy.
I really hope you keep this universe alive, you were able to make a cooking show entertaining and suspenseful. That in an of itself is a grand testament to the plot you have weaved here, and, by extension, your skill. I'm probably just fangasming at the moment, but I'll live. Do you plan on continuing the Quiz-verse after Thweet Geniuth is complete? Almost as important, is there a better name for the Quiz-verse?
I am absolutely enthralled by this. It's a comedy/adventure starring our favorite little fillies, absolutely dependent on entertainment value and it delivers perfectly. Quiz's slow but certain climb out of her carefully maintained shell is a wonder to behold. It's gradual enough that reading through that you don't notice it, yet read the first chapter of Thweet and the first chapter of Quizzical and they seem like almost completely different ponies.
I still think the fact I am enjoying a cooking show has serious implications on the ambient chaos values around me.
What a
! Happy is new best OC pony.
Grand Chef, think of the ratings, those beautiful ratings! Never before have we reached this many customers, anxious to purchase your oven mits, your cookbooks, your spatulas and knife sets. Reservations for the show will be backlogged for *months*, when you come up for renewal, the networks will sweat blood and pure gold to keep your show. You've crushed your competition so easily all these years, you've become ordinary, blase, simply vanalla. Everypony loves a good fight, and now they will tune in to your show like rabid weasels, noses glued to the screen and hooves on their checkbooks every week. Just think. Of. The. Mon-ey.
It's weird how this competition is set up so that the Sugar Showcase determines the winner no matter the results of the first 2 rounds, but oh well! It's a fun ride!
Poor Merry.
I don't like seeing ponies be heartbroken. 
Not crying, just got something in my eye....
1899679 Actually, that's a convention in TV cooking contests. It's always bothered me a bit as well, but it keeps a show with multiple rounds from ending early/
Very nice twist at the end. I have to say, though, that I find the third round being worth more points than the other two combined to be odd. If that's the case, why even say it's worth sixty percent? Percentages and points don't matter when only one round decides the entire show. If it were me writing this—and I know that automatically equates to "disregard this idiot's subjective advice", but still—I would have had each round be worth a third, and have her lose round two. I mean, with her having won the first two rounds, you run into a problem in either direction: a.) all three rounds are worth a third of the total points, so her having won the first two rounds removes all the tension for the third, or b.) the first two rounds don't matter in comparison to the third, so her having won them or not is all but meaningless and all of the tension from earlier has just been invalidated. Neither is good.
And yo, the sound is "creak". A creek is a kind of body of water.
1899398
I still swear Happy must be related to Pinkie somewhere down the line... 1899946
1899633
That's what any buisness-savvy agent would see it. But he's not worried about business, he's worried about his reputation.
Its bad, like really bad. Its just so poorly done. So bad i think it should be removed from the sight. It even hurts my eyes to look at it, and so bland too.
I cant take it, please change the picture to something more deserving of this great story. With how good this tale is im sure many would be willing to draw you a better cover pic.
1900240
I dont agree. It fits well in what compition show would do. They would want multiple challanges to entertain the audiance, but also would want the last challange to be exciting regardless of how the first two went. So having it like this makes sense. It gives the audience a chance to pick their favorites in the first two and makes the third one more exciting
All i can say
1903069
I don't believe I've actually seen a multi-round cooking competition that had only two contestants. I'm far more used to one-on-one competitions with only one goal, multi-group competitions either with one goal or with multiple rounds that eliminate groups one by one, or competitions between four or so individuals with multiple elimination rounds. But my point had nothing to do with how a real cooking show would have been. I was speaking from a narrative perspective.
Whenever I was referencing tension and all, I wasn't referring to what the in-story audience was feeling, but to what the readers are feeling. I don't recall it having been said earlier in the story that the third round was the only one that matters (could be wrong on that), so when I found that out here, I was rather disappointed—it was like I'd been strung along somewhat. And if these two rounds really didn't matter overall, then that's even more of a reason to have her lose one of them. This isn't an underdog story anymore; Twist is apparently more skilled than Eclair and has some very loyal and/or powerful friends. Having her lose one round (regardless of whether they're counted equally or not) would've built up a lot more tension for the third, which is the one that matters.
1904091 Yet having Twist lose a round doesn't work either. I have to keep the pressure on Merry and company, a win for the Grand Chef gives Merry a break and some breathing room and I just can't have that. *heavy sigh*
1904117
I recognize that. You took it in a different direction than I would've, for sure, but please don't think that I meant to say that how I would have done it is any better—it was just me blathering on about an alternate way of doing things. I am VERY curious how you're going to handle the tension in the last round now, what with all but one of the characters now being on Twist's side. That was one thing I really meant: this isn't the underdog story that it was at first.
1906420
That is either horrifically cruel, or one of the numerous oddly interesting, and morally questionable, ideas I have seen here.
But it's definitely going to end in hilarity.
1899853 If memory serves me right... (I am here riffing on the Iron Chef Chairman, so I am just kidding) did you not say that Merry should be banished to the Sun, and she should be kept in a dungeon where she was banished in the interim?
You do know that some readers still want to punch Merry out?
1916538
"
I believe my exact words were: "TO THE SUN!
I will freely, and without hesitation, admit to being the kind of person who demands immediate retribution for someone's (or somepony's) wrongdoings, then promptly feel bad for them. I will probably make a poor parent for this reason actually. //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Twilight_Sparkle.png
Make no mistake, I am still pretty torqued at her for deliberately attempting to character assassinate two children just for the sake of a job. (The lengths she goes to is almost suspicious. Even now, when EVERYPONY else on the staff is saying "feather this" she refuses to go against the Grand Chef. Something tells me it's not just the money, not just her career.) Still, I almost think solar banishment would be merciful compared to the slow grinding away of her psyche going now.
And I just don't like seeing ponies be sad.
1933253 Just what has been on the Discovery and Science channels (especially if it was narrated by Morgan Freeman).
Just noticed that you have a fancy new image for the story! Very nice.
1916671
I couldn't say until Chapter 18 came out, but this is a very good guess.
Oh god, Luna's discovered <blink> and <marquee>, it's all over
Now as a fan of worldbuilding stuff, I loved this bit! It feels like such a clever way to disorient a pegasus that wouldn't work on a human. Bravo for imagining yourself in another's shoes. Or hooves in this case, I guess.
Well, you sure got me on the edge of my seat here
And it's awesome that Happy is more than just a silly voice and a grin - girl's got some brains
Remarks:
> This did not used to matter to me.
"did not [use] to matter" - "did" is already conjugated, so "use" shouldn't be.
Oh look more light side converts.
Didn't the cmc try to get their bomb difusal cutie marks. Scoots should be a expert a citing wires xD.
Blowing stuff up is second nature.
Oh, Happy it's just something about you.
I've gotta go with Scootaloo on this one; "Hypothetical Projectile" is an awesome nickname.
Nah, it'll never catch on.
I am liking Happy.
5599569 I'm convinced her family tree shares a couple branches with the Pies.