• Member Since 3rd Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen Oct 12th, 2019

Maxima Mea Culpa


I'm just an amateur writer (and apparently amateur artist) hoping to get better. All I want is a bit of criticism to help me along.

E

Amnesia leads Applejack to becoming the sheriff and protector of a small settlement in Western Equestria. When her friends come to jog her memory, though, they discover a distrustful replacement for their friend, whose only desire is to protect the town that has adopted her. Only by saving the town from the encroaching threat of three unicorn bandits can the five convince their old friend to trust them again.

Chapters (9)
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Comments ( 12 )

Seems a bit fast, but its rather hard to notice. Hope to see more so in the meantime. Nothing

Relatively rushed, but I can't claim to not do that myself. However, apart from that, it's fantastic. Take my star.

Yay! Even more story!

Once again, a fantastic read, if a tad rushed. However, definitely (That how you spell it? It's that one word I can never get quite right.) less rushed, and definitely worth reading.

1858028
Well thanks. Sadly there's very little I can do about the pacing right now. I know, it needs improvement- even I'm not terribly proud of how I sacrificed good pacing to get this out on time. I personally feel like there's nothing worse than bad pacing, and as readers you definitely (you spelled it right) deserve better than that.

I think it would have made a little better story if you just started with AJ waking up. Adds to the mystery of things. And yeah, just a bit fast.

I'm really starting to like this story. Congratulations sir/madam, take my star.

Interesting story twist, but this is an interesting one, will keep watch.

The ending seemed to have end on an odd note... but it was excellent as they all have been.

1886477
Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed the story, despite some of the problems it had.
Hopefully in the future I'll be able to avoid some of those problems. Learning from your mistakes and all, that's an important part of writing. It's good to have readers (and watchers too, thanks for that) who'll give constructive criticism when I need it.

Flawless Victory

All I could think of was that said in a Mortal Kombat announcer voice.

Anyways. Great story, bit of an... I don't know, but that ending just seems a bit odd to me. Still, fantastic, wish it was longer.

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