• Published 29th Dec 2012
  • 2,088 Views, 107 Comments

Live and Let Die - Dihinner



Dead and alive, what's the difference if you're a zombie?

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Attempted Exenteration

Hunter flew through the air, in an attempt to pounce his target. The target in question screamed at the sight of the small predator leaping at her with a feral grin. The scream was so loud that Smoker, who was some distance away, heard it and instantly knew who the source was: Hunter.

Smoker uncoiled his tongue, which was handing from a tree to keep Jockey from attacking anyone and narrowed his eyes to try to find Hunter.

Although the infection damaged many parts of his body, it also enhanced other things. Like Hunter’s smell and hearing were much more advanced than other peoples or, ponies in this case. For Smoker it was eye sight, giving him binocular vision whenever his eyes narrowed.

There, at the far side of the park near some rocks Hunter was still leaping in mid-air at a yellow Pegasus. Smoker launched his fifty foot tongue out of his mouth and hoped it could stop Hunter before he did anything he would regret.

Just as the tips of Hunter’s forelegs made contact with the Pegasus he felt something rubbery wrap itself around his chest. Suddenly, he was pulled away from the Pegasus at a rather fast speed. Hunter tried to free himself from the coil but Smoker just reeled him in faster. By the time Hunter had managed to cut the tongue, he was standing face to face with Smoker.

“What?” Hunter asked with bits of anger in his voice.

Smoker stared at him; about an hour ago he was almost carefree, now he looked just like he did when they were on earth, sick and totally insane. Smoker also noticed that his bandages seemed to have some sort of yellow looking spark where his pupils would have been located if he still had eyes.
Another thing Smoker noticed about Hunter was how agitated he was, like suddenly the four maniacs would come from nowhere and kill them all. Testing this, Smoker asked him where he was.

“Newburg city, Pennsylvania,” responded Hunter immediately.

Smoker stared at him, “Hunter, what were you attacking?”

“Ducks and a maniac,” replied Hunter as he slowly began to back away to attempt another attack.

Not far away, Screamer was lying against a branch of a tree when he heard Jockey’s maniacal laughter. Cracking an eye open, Screamer looked around for Jockey while thinking up a way to ultimately blame whatever happens on Smoker.

Screamer spotted Jockey’s electric blue body hopping around a small pond. Groaning to himself, Screamer jumped off his tree, landing on the ground with an audible thud, and began to hover over to Jockey.

“What are you doing?” Screamer sighed.

Jockey cackled and hopped onto a mid-sized rock in the pond and continued to cackle.

Of course he just cackled,’ Screamer mentally sighed to himself. ‘Why would Jockey be able to talk he if he couldn’t back in the city?

Meanwhile, Smoker’s tongue had regrown (the doc said that something to do with the rapidly forming cancerous cells and a strange type of fungi had mixed together on his intestines and somehow forced them out through his mouth. His real tongue I still there, just under a quarter mile of bundled up intestines and fungi) and he lashed it out at Hunter again just as the yellow Pegasus had come out of hiding inside a bush.

The Pegasus yelped again, abet much quieter than before, and Smoker tried to tell her to get out of the way.

“Eet oot of ee wa!” shouted Smoker, who’s tongue was being clawed at by Hunter.

“Let go of me!” yelled Hunter, who looked like a cornered animal rather than the navy blue earth pony he was an hour ago. Hunter let out a painfully loud screech that was heard throughout the entire park.

Screamer, who had heard the cry and searched for what caused it, after a moment checked to see what Jockey was looking at. To his surprise, across the pond was Hunter desperately trying to get away from Smoker’s tongue. Mentally face palming himself for not looking there in the first place; Screamer casually hovered over to the two.

“Smoker, what are you doing?” sighed Screamer as he hovered in place beside Smoker.

“Hunnr as gon appst! Get Ank!”

Screamer stared at Smoker, “what?”

“Let me go!” yelled Hunter again, now trying to gnaw his way through Smoker’s tongue, “they’re going to kill us if we don’t kill them first!”

“Get Ank! Now!” Smoker yelled through his tongue.

“You mean Tank, right?” asked Screamer. Smoker nodded and tried to reel Hunter in.

“O, NOW!”

“You need to learn to enunciate,” said Screamer as he hovered upwards into the sky.

When he was high enough to see the entire park, Screamer deeply inhaled and let out a terrifyingly loud shriek that could be heard across the entire town.

***********************************************************************************

Tank was standing silently beside Witch in the library while Boomer, Charger, Spitter and Twilight were talking about the demons known as ‘Nightmares’. Twilight also mentioned the two white spheres’ they encountered last night and how they apparently were orbiting the moon before falling into the atmosphere. The blue eyed one was called Wheatley and the other was nicknamed Space, due it’s obsession with space. Still, all the talking was boring Tank to death. All he really wanted to do right now was go outside, maybe get something to eat and then get some sleep, which he and the other infected were seriously lacking.

Tank was resting his eyes when Witch poked his arm. Eye’s still closed, asked Witch why she poked him.

As soon as he asked, a terrifying screech blasted through the library, cracking windows in multiple spots and making Tank snap his eyes open while everypony else ether dropped to the floor and covered their ears or tensed up instantly.

“That’s why,” Witch mumbled.

“What was that?!” asked Twilight.

“That sounded like Screamer,” muttered Boomer as he got back to his hooves.

“Screamer, the guy in the straightjacket?” asked Twilight.

“That’s him,” replied Spitter, “look, sorry but we have to go. Whenever Screamer does that he usually has a good reason.”

By this time, Tank and Witch were already exiting the library and was walking towards the park. The thing about Screamer was that his screams have eight different frequencies that Tank and the other seven infected can understand. Usually when one frequency is right after another it means that Screamer needs help with the second frequency. This one was specifically for Tank meaning that Hunter was in some form of trouble and they needed his help.

Another screech boomed throughout the town that brought Tank to a full out run. Witch, who usually was faster than Tank when it came to running, was alongside him and occasionally shrieking at ponies to get out of the way.

When the two arrived at the park about forty seconds after they left, they saw Smoker trying to reel Hunter, who had apparently gone feral, from attacking anything he could get his sharpened hooves on. Tank and Witch slowed down as they got closer to the struggle.

“Aout ime uo got ear!” said Smoker through his tongue.

“What is wrong?” asked Tank, giving Hunter a strange look.

Screamer hovered over with Jockey on his back and began to explain what was going on.

“alright, so here I am, minding my own business when all of a sudden I heard Jockey’s cackling. So, like the responsible person I am, I went to go check up on him when I see Smoker and Hunter in a strange tug of war like fight.”

“Is beaus Hunnr wen appst!” came Smoker’s reply, “Ank, old im own ile ee ind omening to estain im.”

Tank nodded. Although Smoker was nearly unintelligible, hanging around him for three weeks one learns to understand what he’s saying through the massive tongue. Tank held down his right foreleg on Hunter’s chest, making it impossible for him to move, while Smoker spoke to Screamer about what they’ll use to restrain Hunter.

“No,” said Screamer, “no, no, no!”

“And explain why not?” asked Smoker.

Screamer glared at him, “because even I don’t really know what’s under it.”

“Seriously? How bad can they possibly be?”

The two stared at each other for a moment before Screamer sighed, “alright, but you’re responsible for explaining why I took it off.”

Jockey hopped off Screamer’s back and went over to Tank and Witch as Smoker watched Screamer land on the ground and used his mouth and wings to open all the latches and buckles on his straightjacket. After a moment, Screamer spat the last latch out of his mouth and slowly tried to take his forelegs out of the jacket.

“holy shit…” muttered Smoker as Screamer’s torn up forelegs emerged from the straightjacket.

There were at least seven holes between each foreleg and multiple large gashes where bone could be seen. Screamer shuddered as he continued to look at his maimed limbs. Giving Smoker a look, he picked up the straightjacket in his mouth and tossed it to him.

“You owe me a new one.”

“Can’t you just use it when we get Hunter properly tied down?”

Screamer laughed sarcastically, “I don’t know where Hunter’s been. He could have rolled in god knows what when you weren’t looking.”

Smoker rolled his eyes and turned back to Tank and Hunter with the straightjacket in his mouth. “Alright, Tank,” he said as he tossed Tank the straightjacket, “here comes the tricky part.”

**************************************************************************
Charger couldn’t believe her eyes. She, Boomer and Spitter stared at the strange sight when they stopped just outside Sugarcube corner and saw Smoker dragging Hunter in Screamer’s straightjacket across the ground with a bunch of leaves gagging him and Tank, Witch, Jockey and Screamer not far behind.

“What the…”

Screamer glanced over and spotted them. He grinned slightly as he flew over to them.

“Not something you see every day, huh?”

“What the hell happened?” Boomer asked.

Screamer sighed, “Ask Smoker. I’ve already explained it to Tank.”

Spitter stared at Screamer’s forelegs just as Twilight caught up with them.

“What was that about?” she asked, panting slightly.

Screamer sighed, “Ask Smoker, it’s his turn.”

Twilight stared at Screamer, or more specifically, his gored forelegs. She opened her mouth to comment on it but Screamer cut her off.

“Before you say anything, just remember that I can make your eardrums burst without a second thought and I do not feel like talking about them.”

Twilight nodded slowly and tore her eyes away from Screamer’s forelegs as he hovered back over to Smoker. Charger, Boomer and Spitter exchanged glances and followed him.

“Where are you going?” asked Twilight as she tried to catch up with them.

“Back to the doctor I assume,” replied Boomer.

Twilight nodded as she saw a bluish rainbow coloured blur streak across the sky and was headed straight for Tank. Her blood froze when she realised who the blur was and what she was going to do. Just as the blur was heading towards Tank, Smoker glanced upwards and released Hunter from his grip and fired his long tongue into the sky to try and catch the blur.

“Aguah!” yelled Smoker as the blur tore his tongue in half.

By this time the other infected had noticed the blur. Charger leapt into the air and aimed herself directly in the blurs line of flight. With a disturbingly similar cry to the one she used on Earth, Charger bolted forwards with her oversized right foreleg facing outwards and intercepted the blur.

The two crashed into the ground and Charger grabbed the blur, which was just a blue Pegasus with a rainbow mane, and slammed her into the ground. It wasn’t enough to actually hurt her, but it was just enough to knock the wind out of her.

“Speak,” growled Charger.

“Air…” the Pegasus gasped, “I need air!”

Still keeping her grip tight enough so she couldn’t escape, Charger loosened her grip just enough so the Pegasus could breath.

“There, now, why were you attacking us?” asked Charger sternly.

“You were foalnapping that pony in the straightjacket,” said the Pegasus, still trying to regain her breath.

“That ‘pony’ needs a doc to look at him. Apparently he went nuts when someone was supposed to be watching him,” said Charger as she glared at Smoker.

“Let go of her!” yelled Twilight.

“You know her?” asked Charger, turning back to the Pegasus.

“Yes, she’s one of my friends!” said Twilight.

Charger stared at the Pegasus and back to twilight. Sighing heavily, Charger let the Pegasus out of her grip and spoke to her one last time.

“You’re lucky I trust your friends’ judgement. If I hadn’t, lest just say you wouldn’t be moving for a while.”

Nodding, the Pegasus picked herself off the ground as Charger walked back over to Hunter and grabbed him in her foreleg.

“Hunter, you better have one hell of an explanation after all this,” muttered Charger as she continued to walk to the hospital with the seven other infected not far behind.

Rainbow dash stared at the nine infected walking towards the hospital. Screamer hovered over to Jockey and grabbed him in his gored forelegs and dropped him on Smoker, who proceeded to start yelling at Screamer with Boomer and Spitter chuckling from ahead. Witch had moved at a ridiculously fast rate and now was sleeping on Tank’s back. Tank glared at her briefly before continuing on. From what she saw, they were crazy.

Every single one of them.

Author's Note:

goddamn. sorry for the wait.

now, off to work on Raptor!