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Chapter 1

By Blood

By The Psychotic Brony

Chapter 1

Derpy Hooves had her work cut out for her: 50 tons of bowling balls to be delivered to the Ponyville Bowling Alley. She was half way there when she felt a feeling that she did not count on: She had to sneeze! As the feeling increased, she put more and more effort into holding the urge back, (a talent she had been working on since she got fired from the weather factory for sneezing in the rain machine and spreading pneumonia throughout Equestria). After a seemingly endless battle, her urge to sneeze just faded away.

"Woohoo!" she cheered out to no one imparticular.

However, after 5 seconds, followed by seeing the bag of bowling balls falling to the heavens below, she realized cheering might not have been a good idea.

The last thing Twilight Sparkle remembered when waking up in the hospital bed was looking up, while on her way to the hospital to see if the doctor had something for her recent headaches, and seeing a bag with the words, "To: Big Lebowski's Bowling Alley" printed on it. After she regained a substantial amount of her senses, she noticed a brown unicorn stallion wearing a doctors uniform, holding a cane, and wih a capital H within a thin box as his cutie mark, carrying a wheel barrow with a shovel and a canister of gasoline. He then noticed she was awake.

"Oh, Miss Sparkle!" He said before kicking the wheel barrow out of the room, "you're ali- I mean... awake!"

"Whuhh..." Twilight muttered, "what happened?"

"Now just calm down, I'm Doctor Horse," (He looks at the screen) "M.D." (looks back), "You've just suffered a minor bowling ball incident and your in the hospital."

"Bowling Ball inccident?" asked Twlight.

"Yes," explained Horse, "Every bone in your body was crushed by a falling sack of bowling balls"

"What!?!" Twilight cried in shock, "How is that minor!?! Are they okay!?!"

"Oh yes, the bowling balls are fine" said Horse, "we donated them to the children's intensive care ward."

"No, I mean my bones!" Exclaimed Twilight, angrily.

"Oh yes!, Your bones are fine. As soon as we stitched you're limbs back together they were quite easy to fix," said Horse.

"You had to stitch me together!?!" Twilight said, very close to fainting again.

"Oh it was easier than it seems," explained Horse, "The hard part has finding a bicycle pump that could unflatten you're body parts."

Upon hearing that, Twilight was on the verge of passing out in her bed when Dr. Horse levitated a check board in front of him.

"...And it seems that the blood transfusion was a success," he said.

"Blood transfusion?" Twilight asked.

"Ah yes," said Horse "You see, by our third attempt at reconstructing you, you had lost a large amount of blood..."

As he was saying this a pony wearing a doctors outfit with his or her face covered walked into the room.

"But we managed to find a suitable blood donor for you just in the nick of time!" finished Horse.

"Who?" asked Twilight.

Right after Twilight said that, the mysterious pony in the doctors outfit ripped the entire suit off, revealing herself to be none other than Pinkie Pie.

Pinkie immediately screamed, "HI BLOOD SISTER!!!" scaring everyone in the room, including the elderly earth pony in the bed next to twilight, causing her to die from a heart attack.

"Pinkie Pie?" said Twilight, "What are you doing here? And where did you get that doctors uniform?"

"Simple! I knocked out a doctor with a baseball bat, hid her in a bush, stole her clothes, and now here I am!" Pinkie said in her typically festive tone.

"Why!?!" Twilight asked, horrified.

"To surprise you silly!" Pinkie responded.

Before Twilight could say that she was the devil, Dr. Horse spoke up, "The only pony in Ponyville we could find with your blood type was Pinkie Pie here, and she happily volunteered herself for the blood transfusion."

"Gee," said Twiight, "I don't know what to say. Thanks Pinkie."

"Anything for a BLOOD SISTER!" Pinkie Exclaimed, violently hugging Twilight.

"Yeah, Okay." Said Twilight, deciding to humor Pinkie.

"Now about you're headaches," Dr. Horse cut in, "turns out you had a brain-devouring parasite that would've killed you in minutes," Twilight was stunned and horrified at this news "luckily it was squeezed out of your head when you were flattened." Twilight was deeply relieved, but still tense.

"Any who," He said, levitating a capsul of pills over to Twilight, "you should be out of here by tomorrow. After that, for a few weeks you should get a good 12 hours of sleep a day, take two of these pills every night, and be sure to eat regularly. "

A few seconds after he said that, two orderlies came into the room and said to Dr. Horse, "Hey! What are you doing out of your padded room!?!"

"Good day Twilight!" Dr. Horse quickly said before jumping out of the near by window.

Since she usually conducts her studies in her basement laboratory, stocked with hazardous and explosive chemicals, Twilights had the way from the hospital to her home memorized by heart (especially thanks to Pinkie Pie's inconvenient surprise visits). That night she tiredly made her way through the streets of Ponyville, with a bandage from her blood transfusion wrapped around her left hoof (which somehow hadn't healed as miraculously fast as ther limb stitches), with Pinkie Pie bouncing in tow. When they were half way through their route, Pinkie was only 1/20th of her way through talking about Twilight being her new "blood-sister."

"-And then we can do each others hooves, stay up late watching scary movies, write our memoirs together, draw pictures, talk about our days! I saw a rabbit this morning! I named him sugar, because he was white! Maybe I should have named him bubbles? Because there were bubbles coming out of his mouth! I loved sitting there with him making bubbles come out of my mouth! He also had the most adorable red eyes! He looked like he had got into Spikes stash! Oh, Shoot, he told me not to tell you about that! Think he'll be mad? I should throw him an I'm sorry party! That always fixes everything! Except when my parents kicked me off the rock farm. I wonder how they're doing? I should probably write them. Except they told me never to write to them. Should I call them instead? E-mail? Lipstick on the mirror? Mabye I should-"

"Pinkie!" Twilight interrupted once they had arrived at her library, "I'd love to continue this interesting conversation but I really need to get some shut eye"

"Okie Dokie Lokie!" Pinkie replied as Twilight entered her home and closed the door.

As Twilight walked up the stairs to her bed she could hear her pink friend bouncing away from her house shouting "Goodnight, Blood-Sister!!!"

The next morning, Twilight and her dragon assistant, Spike were going about the library doing their half-monthly re-shelving. As Twilight stood atop her ladder nestling "The Evolution of the Equestrian Plumbing System" with the rest of her extensive collection, she noticed Spike staring at her with a strange sense of curiosity.

"Is something wrong, Spike?" She asked

"Huh?" answered Spike, "oh, nothing! I was just... wondering is all..."

"Wondering what?" asked Twilight.

"What it must be like"

"What what must be like?"

"You know... To have the blood of Pinkamena Diane Pie flowing through your veins?"

"Uuuuuhg...," Sighed Twilight, coming down from the ladder, "I already had to hear this "blood-sister" crap from Pinkie, don't you start."

"I'm just sayin," Spike stated defensively, "This is Pinkie Pie's blood we are talking about! A pony who once inexplicably gained the ability to walk on water because she saw a cupcake floating in the middle of the lake. A pony who falls asleep to "Who Let the Diamond Dogs Out" at max volume every night. And, A pony who can pull a cannon, full of confetti, out of nowhere! Plus, I think her blood might be tainted with pixie-sticks!"

"Spike," said Twilight reassuringly, "you're letting your imagination get the better of you. I'm fine, nothing is going to happen to me, and their is absolutly nothing wrong with Pinkie's blood."

"Okay...!," replied Spike sarcasticly as he walked upstairs, "whatever you say...!"

Once Spike was out of view, Twilight shrugged the conversation off and went about her re-shelving.

Twilights eyes twitched open as the first signs of morning crept through her window and hit her face. She lazily slid out of her bed and quietly made her way to the bathroom, as not to wake up Spike. When she reached her sink she slowly turned on the water and splashed some in her face. As soon as she had rinsed the salt from her eyes, she looked into the mirror, but it wasn't her reflection she saw, it was Pinkies. This caused her to scream, and she continued to scream as she woke up in her bed from her nightmare, causing Spike to also wake up screaming

"Oh Spike," Twilight said between breaths, "I didn't mean to wake you, I just had a nightmare."

"Really? I had a nightmare too!" Spike said with angry sarcasm, "Where you caused me to wet the damn bed!"

Spike then grabbed his blanket got out of his bed.

"Come on Blanky...," He said walking out the door.

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Kalmeira

Kalmeira #1 · Mar 13th, 2013 · · ·

You forgot the random tag, as this was one of the most random things I've read on here. I will not be following.

Goodbye

Goodbye #2 · Mar 13th, 2013 · · ·

I however will watch. Random is fun and the spice of life.

Dash The Stampede

Dash The Stampede #3 · Mar 13th, 2013 · · ·

That doctor scene made me think of the doctor from Family Guy. like alot.

StLeibowitz

StLeibowitz #4 · Mar 13th, 2013 · · ·

Yes, this requires the Random tag. But it was amusing

In the terms of grammar, you may want to go back over it to check for misusage of your/you're (I spotted a few substitutions of "your" for "you're") and the second time Pinkie shouts "BLOOD SISTER", "Exclaimed" should not be capitalized. That's all for now.

The Kings Man