• Member Since 23rd Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen Mar 24th, 2022

Applecrisp


E

When all six of the ponies and the Cutie Mark Crusaders go on a camping trip Rainbow Dash tells a story of werewolf's in the woods, and she says it's just an old pony tale, until the Cutie Mark Crusaders run into one while looking for firewood, but when Applejack jumps in to save them she takes the bite. What will happen when the others find out? Will they like her anymore? How will she live like this?

Chapters (7)
Comments ( 64 )

So like I said, this is my first FIM FIC and I am really bad at punctuations and I feel I made the the frist chapter go a little too fast:applecry: so im going to try and slow down the second chapter.:twilightsheepish: But i did get some help with this.


Also if you see any grammar Nazi please comment and tell me, and if you spot any other errors I would like to know.
Also i would love feedback about how you liked or disliked this story.

1844643 you hit the nail on the head when it comes to the issues in grammar and speed, but I'm looking forward to how this plays out.

Comment posted by Applecrisp deleted Dec 24th, 2012

Thanks for the feedback :yay: I will try a lot harder on this next chapter but I can't promise anything:twilightsmile:

1846178 That's all I can ask for.

Merry Christmas

"A camping trip why on earth would you want to go into the woods to, sleep." Rarity paused for a moment and said. "Outside." she finished with a disgusted face.

I know you are not a great person with grammar. As said right here 1844643
But you forgot a comma and placed a random comma.
But maybe you could get a editor, there are lots of people/ponies who would just love to help you. If you don't want a editor, fine by us all. However it will really help you in the long run.

Wait, Grammar Nazi allowed? YES!

Red = Add in
Blue = Remove

"A camping trip, why on earth would you want to go into the woods to, sleep." Rarity paused for a moment and said. "Outside." she finished with a disgusted face.

campin'

Because, this one is optional, to be honest I am not a great Applejack accent, however I think it's 'Cause.

"Of course you do." Said Rainbow dash not very surprised."

"Camping sounds like a lot of fun!" Pinkie pie shouted jumping up and down. Pinkie Pie is a proper noun, thus the second P is capitalized.

Fluttershy Softly Nodded her head. You capitalized Softly and Nodded while they are adjectives and verbs, and definitely not at the start of a sentence.

"OH don't you worry your pretty little head Fluttershy, there ain't nothing to worry about." Applejack Replied with a smile on her face. No, make the h lowercase. Also lowercase the r in replied.

Edit: I'm not done, just gotta take a break. Reading stories for a while.

1849244 Thanks for the comment. I've been thinking about getting an editor for my second chapter.


Thank your for your feedback!

Happy Holidays!:pinkiehappy:

1849273 Thank you again, I have a bad habit of holding down shift a little to long, and pressing shift when I'm not supposed to, as for Pinkie pie I meant to do Pie but I didn't :twilightsheepish:

1849282 1849310
Welcome, and Happy Holidays. I am not liking the idea but I will read it. Just not my genre of story, but I wish you good luck, and have a happy story.

Sorry the next chapter is taking so long, i just havent been able to get around to it but it will be up very soon:scootangel:

Oni

Wolfpack approved.

And look around for a prereader if you want one. They are a big help, or so i'm told.

117dragon

Is my new edditor and prereader.:yay:

And you can check his stories if you want to :yay:

Spelling is key.

Sorry I planed on having the next chapter out by now but, i got sick:applecry: but I plan on getting it out sometime soon:scootangel:

Werewolf = Man, wolf.

So, perhaps the most accurate word would be Lycan after the Greek king Lycaon who was turned half-wolf, half-man by Zeus.

"It looks like you packed over nine thousand bags." said the pink earth pony.

:ajbemused:SRSLY?!:twilightangry2: I MEAN SRSLY?!:flutterrage:

1966323 Hey what can I say? I was kinda bored:twilightblush:

This is good. I’ll enjoy seeing where this goes :twilightsmile:

Sorry Chapter 4 is taking so long I've been having trouble in one spot ont it:raritydespair: but im still working on it and it will out soon.:yay:

Ok chapter 4 is almost ready and will be out today:ajsmug:

she added clap sing on the ground

Don't you mean 'collapsing'?

2032499

No, she added the clap sing onto the ground, in her special brew.

2032553 you know what i mean

2032575

Yeah, I know. Just taking a simple mistake and expanding on it. It's my usual mode of operation.

On an unrelated note, what is a clap sing? Is it when you sing the lyrics by clapping?

I did mean collapsing but I totally messed up I will fix that as soon as I can.:twilightblush:

2032613 I don't know, but your guess is as good as mine.:scootangel:

Ya that's totally what it was she was singing the lyrics by clapping....I meant to do that:trixieshiftright:

lest I'M

- least I'm
OR
-least I'm

“What in tarnation is on!"

-Do you wanna change the channel then?
-"What in tarnation is going on?!"

"AJ what happened to AJ!"

- "AJ?! What happened to AJ?!"

Ok yall I went through the story a couple of times to find any mistakes I made. Im not sure I got them all but I tried my best:applejackunsure:

Thanks for your help.:raritywink:

2032499>>2033046 As AC's editor I'm extremely sorry for this and repeatedly banging my head aganist the wall for these stupid mistakes. I won't let it happen again.

2034867 Now now calm down everypony makes mistakes.:derpyderp1: am I right?

Alright the next Chapter should be out by tonight or around tomorrow afternoon, Pinkie promise!:pinkiehappy:
Sorry it's taken so long its just ive been working on another story, which should be out by the end of the month.

Wolves are hot. ponies are sexy. Now a werewolf pony even SEXIER:moustache:

I sense a fight between Applewolf and Rainbow Dash...
Is Applewolf a good name? :applejackunsure:
Good chapter. :twilightsheepish:

2089522 Ok one Applewolf is great! Is it ok if I use that in my future chapters :scootangel:
And thanks!

Got to 0:26:30 at the perfect moment

What could that be? she thought to herself.

She walked over to it hoping it wasn't some live creature that was going to eat her, she looked down and the moonlight shone straight threw the trees and she could see the object almost clearly now, it was a hat, and not just any hat. It was Applejacks familiar stetson. The only words that Fluttershy could mumble was.

"Ap- Applejack....."

2094913 That's awesome and epic! Thanks for sharing that:pinkiehappy:

Comment posted by Applecrisp deleted Feb 9th, 2013

2095197 I know, and your welcome :derpytongue2:

2092378 I thought that I replied to this already. But yes, of cause you can use the name Applewolf. :twilightsmile:

Also, good chapter.

Sorry the next chapter is taking so long I have been working on another story that I really want to get out soon and I have been pretty busy lately.:applejackunsure:

Comment posted by Applecrisp deleted Mar 15th, 2013

Alright so we need to build a crazy trap to catch a monster?...QUICK SOMEONE CALL FRED!!!

"Fine, I will go but don't expect me to ruff it." Said Rarity.

heh ruff, werewolf geddit.
But I think you meant rough.

2349211 hehe I did mean rough but because you put that pun in there I think I will keep it ruff.

Alright My chapter is almost done sorry its not going to be a very long its going to be like 1000 - 2000 words.... and im sorry its taken so long wasnt sure on what to do.

So my chapter was almost done and then my computer crashed without me saving my story.... so its going to take just a little longer but it will be coming.

AJ looks pretty awesome as a wolf! :rainbowkiss:

Login or register to comment