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The Defender of Light

Alex is an ordinary boy, who never had much luck with girls or being anything other than a coward, one journey to the woods in trying to run from his life will set into motion his destiny and a higher calling, will Alex be able to rise to the challenges ahead or fall farther than ever before?

Chapters (2)

Comments ( 5 )

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StrykertheZombie

StrykertheZombie #1 · Jan 16th, 2012 · · · Chapter 1 ·

interesting start

Invictus

Invictus #2 · Jan 16th, 2012 · · · Chapter 1 ·

It's a good start and a rather unique take on a subject some call overused.

That being said, you need a pre-reader/editor. A good one will be able to help you with some of the grammar, sentence structure, and pacing. And some simple self-editing (breaking up some of those big blocks of text, using capital letters, and fixing some minor spelling and word usage errors) would make the story itself infinitely more readable.

Again, though, this is a fun idea. It looks like you've developed the story well in your mind. All the stuff I mentioned can be fixed, a bad/boring story idea cannot... so you have a good thing going for you there.

Keep working on it, we're all curious to see where this goes!

GrosslyIncandescent

GrosslyIncandescent #3 · Jan 25th, 2012 · · · Chapter 2 ·

Pretty good so far. Needs some proof reading though. Just a few mistakes with spelling and some grammatical errors, nothing too bad. The ones that stood out the most were barely and awake. It looked like both had some letters switched around in them. All in all it's good, I like the plot so far.