• Member Since 14th Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen Sep 13th, 2016

BreathMint


T

When Cheerilee is falsely convicted of molesting one of her students, she sees her life and future crumble before her eyes. She begins to realise that she will never work at a school again, and is worried that for the rest of her life she will be unable to do that what makes her special, as is represented in her cutiemark: Teaching. Over time she begins to understand that there are other ways to impart a lesson, however.


This is my first attempt at creative writing, so I imagine there are bound to be things that have gone wrong. I really want to get better at this, so any constructive criticism you can give me would be greatly appreciated.

Chapters (13)
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Comments ( 100 )

THIS IS HORRIBLE!!!! Not the story but what Diamond Tiara did.UGH I HATE DIAMOND TIARA.Poor Cherilee.

Congratulations, you made me hate Diamond Tiara even more.:twilightangry2: The premise is very interesting and I can't wait for the next chapter.:twilightsmile:

1841932

Was worried for a moment, there. :derpytongue2:

I require more :pinkiehappy:

A great story so far. Well written, and I'm glad that you've even left room for Diamond Tiara to reach some form of redemption. I'm intrigued, you have my favourite. I look forward to more. :twilightsmile:

This is so sad and depressing! As an educator myself, the very thought of something like this happening horrifies me.

...So why do I love this story so much?

1854277

Glad you're enjoying the story ^^

1858658

Honestly, I wouldn't wish a fate like this on anyone. It makes it all the more interesting to write about Cheerilee in such a situation, though, due to teaching being her special purpose in life. (the cutiemark kind of special). As for why you're enjoying it, I dunno. :raritywink: Maybe the promise of butt-kicking for graet justis that the cover art is giving? :scootangel:

1858730

Actually, I think it's more because your writing is good and I love an angst-ridden story.

Also, I enjoy stories featuring Vinyl.

Good chapter. I look forward to seeing how this develops and the choices Cheerilee will ultimately be faced with. Thanks for writing :twilightsmile:

Did not expect you to add Vinyl in the way you did, but it was a really good idea. Does anyone else hope that Diamond Tiara ends up being exposed at the end of this?

looks like they're going to need that truth plant Zecora has.

so when does mare do well come in and when do we see diamond tiara pay for what see did

I really think that Cheerilee needs to take some martial arts lessons from Case Study so that she can defend herself.

1899816

Soon. :duck: No, really. She gets out of prison in the next chapter, but a few things need to happen before we see Mare-Do-Well. I really do not want to rush the buildup, because it will explain both the why and how of Cheerilee's later choices and actions.

1899929

:scootangel:

1899948 Okay then how long till the next chapter

and then Cheerilee gets released with a bunch of tattoos all over over

Good update, just one qualm I had. Cheerilee says something along the lines of: "You make me want to punch you." But she can't punch, she's a pony. Maybe 'hoof you upside the head' or something similar. I look forward to the next chapter :pinkiesmile:

1913145
Mhh. I see your point. I'll get to fixing that. Cheers for pointing it out. :twilightsmile:

Well that was short :derpytongue2:
But it was nice... it was nice :pinkiesmile: Very sweet and happy :twilightsmile:

So, how many more chapters are left, dare I ask?

1927497
This story is going to have at least 10 chapters, more if I split them up into smaller parts. There's a lot I still want to tell. x3

Wondering how Mare-Do-Well factors into this fic.

Very eager to see Cheers either take up the mantle or run into FiM's version of Batman. At this point, I don't care which.

I really need Cheerilee to euthanize Diamond Tiara, in the most brutal way possible. Please!!:scootangel:

1971449
You know she's like, ten... right? :unsuresweetie:
I mean... I hate her with every fiber in my body except in fics that show her in some sort of positive light, but that seems a bit harsh... just saying.

Besides, she already has to deal with the extreme guilt which she clearly has during the trial. This will gnaw at her for the rest of her life and leave her in a serious depression. She will be haunted for life and suffer from nightmares as she can no longer be mean ever again...

Death would've been too nice
...
...
...

But seriously, euthanization is a bit harsh.

I'm loving this, please continue. :yay:

I try so hard try so hard not to hate Diamond Tiara, but this story really ain't helping.
I'M SO CONFUSED!
dashie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw874_1315660286833390.png

1971449
I-I...Ehm...*Hides* :unsuresweetie:

1975325
*Snicker* This site needs a Discord emoticon :scootangel:

And the plot grows thicker. :trixieshiftright:
I'm really enjoying this.

Still following this with interest. The stark, cold world Cheerilee's stuck in is quite intriguing and it actually makes me think of a neighborhood not far from mine -- I live in a fairly big city not far from the low income area.

I do find myself wanting to see more action with her and Vinyl, though. Not anything, you know, intimate, per se, but...Intimate nonetheless. If that makes sense.

are we going to see the Cutie Mark Crusaders in this story

So we're making Cheerilee into a vigilante?

>thisismyfetish.bmp

2015308
Maaaaybe...:scootangel:
2014411
They're in chapter I
2014112
Vinyl, at this point in the story, is one of the few things that keep Cheerilee's life from devolving completely. I won't spoil what happens in the future, but she's a main character in the story for a reason. :raritywink:
2013958
I'm glad! :pinkiesmile:

Hmmm.

You have my attention.

I bucking love this story! Also, Zecora better help Cheerilee kill DiamonD Tiara:twilightangry2:

I seriously hope that cheerilee is absolved of her record when this is over with

What was that spider like creature intended to be? A basilisk?

2049335
Murder is much worse. She should just get proved innocent, and she might get her job back.
And to Quiet Water, there's an unneeded ] near the chapter end :3

2049335
Um, ya know she's a filly, right? :unsuresweetie:

2049788
Wops! Fixed...Thanks!
As for the spider creatures, no. I just made them up. I don't even have a name for them :derpytongue2:

And about what is going to happen with Diamond Tiara, I will provide you with the age-old, infuriating answer: You will see. :trollestia:

So is Cheerilee really going to be a superhero, fighting crime? Heh, maybe I'm just silly, but when I read the synopsis and saw the cover picture, I got the image of Cheerilee as Mare Do Well going around helping foals with studying problems and bad grades in secret instead of fighting crime. :twilightblush: Still, good story, I do hope we'll get a nice ending. *tracked and fav'd*

I'm confused, how do they not recognize Cheerilee? Besides the rugged forest look.

2112276 I'm sure if she dressed up in a costume and snuck into foals' bedrooms at night to give them 'secret lessons' her parole officer would totally not get the wrong idea if he found out. :unsuresweetie:

2112443 Maybe they're not sure it's her because of the bandages and new manecut, and think that going 'hey, you look like that child molester that was arrested here a while back!' would be really rude.

2112558
Ah. Wasn't paying attention. Too cheap, can't afford it :3

2112558
Nah, I didn't mean it like that, but something like secret evening classes or whatever, where she gathers a class to teach in secret. But I do suppose that would count as foalnapping. I guess I was inspired by "Children of the night".

a good ten years

TAKE THAT LARGER SEAGULL! The fillie's are aged around 9 in the show, so Diamond Tiara would be an adult by now.


So I still say kill Diamond. :pinkiecrazy:

Oh I'll just replace these priceless gems with this costume, instead of throwing out 1 or 2 scrolls to make room, it IS the only sensible thing to do after all.

I guess I should probably clear a few things up. :derpytongue2:

First of all, the reason the ponies in Ponyville didn't recognize Cheerilee is simply because she's wearing a cloak, bandages, spent the last several weeks trekking through the forest, and has been living on the other side of the country for the past 10 years. She looks, all in all, different. Her cutiemark, the big giveaway, was covered.

Second, yes. Cheerilee's students are now all about 20 years old. Cheerilee herself is in her early to mid 30's.

2112968
I guess I should clear that up a bit in the chapter. You see, she didn't leave them there just to make room, she left them there as payment for the Mare Do Well suit. With where the story is going it would be a little hypocritical for her to resort to theft, wouldn't it? :duck: Not to forget that the scrolls are more important to Cheerilee than the gems.

Oh boy oh boy I can't wait for the flank-kicking to commence.

>disgunbgud.gif

I've decided to put a "Missing" ad in the paper. Hopefully someone can find my shit for me because I seem to have lost it somewhere along the line.

IMBATMARE

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