2. Megan Grooms Rainbow Dash
A Mighty Demon Slayer Grooms Some Ponies
by D. G. D. Davidson
II. Megan Grooms Rainbow Dash
Twilight Sparkle—her muzzle clamped shut, her wings pinned, and her pasterns tied together with ropes—lay on a stainless steel table in the midst of a dingy laboratory. The room was dark, but a cone of cold, yellow light spilled onto the table from an overhead lamp suspended on a gimbal arm. On a tray nearby, knives, saws, and scalpels glinted in the dimness. A deeply tinted green window filled one wall of this prison; rain poured down it, and the branches of closely planted evergreens beat a steady tattoo on the glass, as if the trees were clamoring to come inside and seek shelter from the storm.
From a dark corner of the room, Megan watched the helpless pony. Twilight’s eyes were wide with terror. Sweat and tears ran down her face in a steady stream, pooling on the table under her cheek. Megan tried to leap to Twilight’s side, tried to raise her hands, but she couldn’t move. She couldn’t even turn her head.
A tall, thin figure appeared, silhouetted against the rain-lashed window. With slow steps accented by hollow echoes, he walked forward until the lamplight revealed his seamed face and wild, white hair. He wore a long, blood red coat buttoned at the shoulder. On his hook-like nose, a complicated array of lenses perched like some parasitical insect. As he bent over Twilight, the lenses turned opaque from the reflected light, and his pale lips parted in a mirthless grin, revealing a set of yellowing teeth. Twilight squeezed her eyes shut. A whimper escaped her mouth.
A door burst open and another man walked in. He was young and handsome, but his boyish features had an edge of ruggedness suggesting a life of hard work. He wore khakis and hiking boots, and his sleeves were rolled up above well-muscled forearms.
The older man with the lenses on his face looked up, smiled, and spoke. His voice was high and thin and touched with what sounded like a bad Hollywood version of a German accent. “Ah, Herr Jones, you haf come back. I am most pleased vis zis specimen you haf brought me, ja?”
“Crikey,” the young man answered, his own accent unmistakably Australian. He ran a hand through his well-oiled hair. “First time I’ve wrangled a genuine unicorn. Gave me a run for my money, I can tell you that.”
“But your efforts ver not in vain, Herr Jones, for here she is, helpless und in our power.”
“Yeah, but what’ll we do with her? Sell her off to a zoo, maybe?”
The German licked his lips and rubbed together his long, bony fingers. “I haf a different idea, Herr Jones. As you know, zuh horn of zuh unicorn is rumored to haf certain, ah, properties.” He bent over Twilight again and ran a finger along her cheek. She trembled violently and made an inarticulate, high-pitched noise through the gag in her mouth. “You, my darling,” the German whispered, “are going to make us vealthy men.”
From under the table, he pulled an enormous, rusty chainsaw.
Megan tried to yell, but couldn’t open her mouth. She struggled, but something had pinned her arms and legs.
When the German pulled the chainsaw’s starter cord, the saw rumbled to life, its deafening motor producing a steady, rhythmic buzz.
Straining with all her might, Megan forced her mouth open and shouted, “No! Nobody hurts my ponies! Let her go, you bastard!”
With a wide, toothy smile, the German brought the whirring blade down to Twilight’s forehead. The buzzing motor grew louder, more insistent. Megan thrashed and flailed—
And tumbled out of bed. Her cheek struck hard against the wooden floor, and the buzz of the chainsaw resolved into the buzz of the alarm clock.
Stunned, Megan lay on the floor for almost a minute before she finally struggled out of the jumble of sheets and slapped the alarm until it went silent.
Her nightgown saturated with sweat, she sat on the floor for a moment and listened: the only sounds in the room were her own hard breathing, the thudding of her heart, and the faint buzz of a fly on the windowpane. With every hard heartbeat, her temples throbbed; the day was young, but she already had a headache. The dark lab and the evil men had seemed so real, but they had been only a dream . . .
Unless Twilight was trying to contact her with telepathy. Back in Dream Valley, unicorns had sometimes entered her dreams like that when they were in trouble.
Forcing down a rising panic, Megan jumped up, ran to her dresser, and yanked open drawers. She pulled on a fresh work shirt and then searched the floor until she found yesterday’s jeans.
She paused, clenching her hands. It was spring now, but early mornings were still chilly, so she ran to the closet and rifled through several frilly dresses until she found her duster. After shoving her arms into it, she ran to the vanity and glanced in the mirror.
She looked frightful. Her thick blond hair stuck out around her face like some kind of insane devil’s halo, but she didn’t have time to brush it. She snatched a ribbon, pulled back as much of her hair as she could grab, and tied a ponytail. Then she clamped a Stetson on her head and sped out of the room.
Having often traveled to Ponyland at night, Megan was an expert at sneaking out of this old house. She lightly jumped over all the stairs that creaked and, once she made the first-floor landing, slipped down the narrow hallway and into the room that had formerly been her father’s den. She ran a hand above the doorframe until her fingertips touched the cold metal of a key. With the key, she opened the gun case: if she had to fight humans, she wanted a human weapon.
She stared indecisively at the guns. She had been roping, riding, and shooting almost as long as she’d been walking, but she had no idea which was the best weapon for assaulting some crazy laboratory. She finally decided on the Model 94 Winchester, the rifle with which her father had first trained her. It brought back bad memories, but it was familiar.
She loaded six cartridges and shoved several others into the duster’s deep pockets. After strapping the rifle over her shoulder, she made her way back down the hall, through the small, dark kitchen, and into the mudroom where she’d left her cowboy boots.
Sitting on the chipped, dusty linoleum in the dark, she grunted as she tugged the boots on, forcing her feet into the cold, stiff leather. The mudroom was chilly, and Megan could faintly see her breath when she exhaled. She was glad she’d grabbed the duster.
Now fully dressed and fully equipped, she stood and headed for the back door. She had no idea where to go, no idea how to find Twilight, and no idea if the unicorn was even still alive. The rifle’s familiar weight on her back was reassuring, but it could do her no good. She was armed but helpless.
When she pulled open the door, she found Twilight Sparkle waiting on the stoop.
Megan blinked several times.
“Good morning,” Twilight said with a broad grin.
Stupefied, Megan swayed. She reached out a hand and touched Twilight’s horn.
Twilight pulled her head back. “Can I help you with something?”
Megan dropped her hand, forced a smile, and shook her head. “No. No, of course not, Your Highness. And how are you this morning?”
“Oh, I’m great. I was just coming over to tell you Rainbow Dash is waiting for you by the barn. I’m going back over the rainbow to get the others, but I convinced Dash to fly in first, since I figured you’d want to get started right away.”
“Of course,” Megan said. She struggled to hold her smile, but could feel it slipping. “Just, uh, let me get some coffee.” She turned around and tiptoed back into the kitchen.
Now equipped with a travel mug full of caffeine, Megan trudged through the unkempt grass toward the horse barn. The air was chilly; the sky was still dark and stars still shone, though the eastern horizon had turned pinkish. The dew in the grass left streaks of moisture across her boots.
A yawning, bleary-eyed Rainbow Dash was leaning against the wall of the barn with a sheet of paper in her front hooves. Megan took a deep pull on her coffee. It was going to be a long day.
“I don’t usually get up this early,” said Rainbow.
“Tough,” Megan answered.
“So let me get this straight.” Rainbow tapped a hoof against the paper. “I’m supposed to shuffle my feet back and forth in this little pattern?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“It’s called dressage, Ambassador Dash. Let me remind you that this wasn’t my idea.”
“And you want to sit on my back while I’m doing this?”
Megan sipped her coffee again. “No, that will be Molly. You ponies are a lot smaller than I remembered, but I guess I’ve grown—”
Rainbow threw down the paper, spread her wings, and leapt into the air. Circling Megan, she waved her forelegs and said, “I got a much better idea! I could sweep in and show ’em my super speed strut, then mesmerize ’em with the filly flash, and then—the sonic rainboom! It would be so awesome!”
Megan spread her feet and bent her knees, dropping halfway into a defensive crouch. She watched Rainbow warily. “Yes it would be. It would also get you disqualified.”
Her heart hammered. Even though Rainbow made no threatening gestures, and even though it had been five years since Megan had done battle against ravenous monsters, being circled, as if by a predator, still set her nerves on edge.
Besides that, though she couldn’t quite put her finger on it, something about this particular pony irritated her.
Rainbow snorted. “What’s the point? Even your horses should be able to do something flashier than this.”
Megan poured more coffee into her mouth. Her head at last started to clear up, perhaps more because of the jolt of adrenaline than because of the caffeine. “Rainbow, it’s not about flashy. It’s to test a rider’s skills and a horse’s training. If it makes you feel better, these techniques were invented for the military; if you can do well in dressage, you have the makings of a warhorse.”
Rainbow landed in the yard and folded her wings. “Well, that’s cool, I guess. But it just seems boring. We want their jaws to drop.”
“I think their jaws will drop anyway.”
“Yeah, my awesomeness does have a way of showing through even when I’m not performing death-defying stunts.” Rainbow shined a hoof against her breast.
“Let’s get you in show condition, shall we?”
“Sure. Whaddaya need? Some warming up, maybe?” Rainbow twisted her knees outward and started doing pushups.
Megan paused and watched for a moment. She had seen many strange things in her short life, but this was the first time she had seen a pony doing pushups. “No, actually, I was thinking of braiding your mane.”
Rainbow halted with her muzzle an inch from the earth. Slowly, she raised her head. “Do what to my what?”
“Braid your mane. It’ll make it look nice for the show. Usually takes me about twenty minutes.”
Rainbow took a step backwards. “Oh, no, sister. I like to let the mane speak for itself.”
“I can see that, which is why I’ve scheduled much more than twenty minutes to deal with it. Come here.”
Rainbow took another step backwards.
Megan felt a surge of annoyance. She downed the rest of her coffee, tossed her travel mug aside, and cracked her knuckles. “If you want to do this the hard way—”
Rainbow reared. “Is that a challenge?”
“Pretty much.”
“What do you have in mind?”
Megan rubbed her chin, tapped her foot against the ground, and thought for a moment. “Come with me.”
It had been a Saturday like any other. Megan had climbed out of bed at four-thirty, knocked on Molly’s door, and banged on Danny’s. Then she had headed out to feed the chickens and milk the cows.
The family hadn’t used the old well since they had sunk the new one behind the house and put in the pump. They had removed the well’s bucket, laid a heavy plywood board over the top of its crumbling, moss-covered stones, and subsequently neglected it.
When Megan stepped outside, she heard the chickens, startled by something, squawking and flapping around their yard. As she made her way out to the coop, she noticed that the board no longer lay across the well: it had been shattered into several fragments, which now glistened with dew among the weeds.
Even after five years, she hadn’t forgotten the sense of danger. Anticipating unpleasantness, she went up on the balls of her feet, raised her fists, and approached the well as quietly as she could.
As she neared it, something bright blue and glistening with water rose above its edge. For a moment, she thought it was a shock of hair, and a sharp pang shot through her chest. She gasped. “Fire—?”
The blue thing rose higher, and Megan realized it was a pony’s muzzle. A large pair of violet eyes appeared above it, and above that, a dripping length of red and orange mane.
“Hey,” the pony said. “I’m Rainbow Dash. You must be one of those, uh, person-thingies. I’m hopin’ to find someone named Magog. Heard of her?”
Megan lowered her hands and whispered, “Well I’ll be damned.”
Now Megan stood among the trees on the edge of the creek with that same pony and carefully balanced six tin cans on an old, lichen-spotted segment of fence. Looking Rainbow up and down, she thought about that moment when she had first seen her; she had felt something then, an emotion as strong as a physical pain followed by a rush of disappointment. She was still trying to figure out what that meant.
“I hear you think you’re quite the athlete,” Megan said.
“Best flier in Equestria.”
“Can you do a double inside-out loop?”
“In my sleep.”
“Then let’s see if you can do this.” With the Winchester in hand, Megan walked fifty yards away. Years ago, her father had customized the rifle with a large loop lever, so Megan spun it, cocking it one-handed just to show off, and then put it to her shoulder and fired.
Rainbow jumped when the rifle cracked. One of the cans, with a faint plink, flew from the top of the fence.
Megan spun the rifle, cocking it one-handed again. She pulled the trigger and another can bounced into the ground.
“Wait a minute,” said Rainbow, flapping to her side. “This isn’t fair. I don’t have hands.”
“Fine. I’ll take a handicap.” Megan fired from the hip. A third can leapt from the fence.
She laughed. “I wasn’t sure I could still do that. Danny and I used to watch old cowboy shows, so we practiced shooting from the hip like they did.” She held the rifle out. “You get the idea?”
Rainbow ran her eyes along the length of the gun. “It’s sort of like a miniature cannon, isn’t it?”
“Yes, sort of. Think you can shoot it?”
Rainbow paused, shuffling back and forth on her hooves.
Megan twisted her mouth as she watched the pony. She had seen enough of Rainbow’s behavior to guess what would get her goat. With a shrug, she put the safety on, slung the rifle over her shoulder, and made as if walking away. “I guess this sport takes too much skill for you—”
Rainbow jumped into the air and hovered. “I got tons of skill! There’s nothing you can do that I—”
Grinning, Megan turned the safety off and held the rifle out again. “Good. Then shoot. Hit all three cans and I’ll let you appear in front of a large audience of humans with your unkempt, tangled, filthy mane.”
“Hey! My mane is not filthy!”
“Stop stalling and shoot, dammit.”
Rainbow dropped to the ground and took the gun in her hooves. Fumbling, she cocked it, crooked it in her left knee, pressed the stock against her breast, and stuck the toe of her right hoof behind the trigger guard.
“Close one eye,” Megan said, “and sight along the—”
“I can figure it out!” Rainbow pulled the trigger back. The gun cracked, Rainbow released a low gasp, and a spray of dirt shot up a few yards away.
Megan snatched the rifle and put the safety back on.
“Hey,” shouted Rainbow, taking off into the air again, “that was just for practice!”
“That was just you missing by a mile. I have to requisition the rifle before you hurt yourself with it. Now get back to the horse barn, girlfriend, because I got a date with your mane.”
“But—! You—! That—! That’s totally unfair!”
“What is? A shooting competition? Are you saying you can’t shoot?”
“Yes! No! I mean . . . I want a rematch!”
“Some other time. Right now, I’m supposed to be getting you ready for your debut, Ambassador, and since I’ve got five other ponies to groom this morning, I’d like to get started sometime this century.”
Rainbow muttered as the two walked back to the horse barn. Megan frowned, rubbed her chin, and wondered quietly why one-upping the pony gave her such vicious satisfaction.
“This is so boring.” Rainbow Dash grimaced and tugged at her eyelids.
“It would go faster if you’d hold still.”
“I can’t help it! That thing feels weird!”
“At least you ponies bathe regularly. This would take even longer if I had to shampoo you.”
Now in the yard in front of the horse barn, Megan was in the process of scrubbing Rainbow’s coat with a curry brush. The sun had tipped entirely above the horizon, and Megan counted to herself the hours left before the show began. It would be tight. Ordinarily, she found horse-grooming relaxing, but there would be no time to relax today.
“Why are you so skittish, anyway? All my horses love this.”
“I am not one of your—augh!” Rainbow jumped into the air when Megan started on her hindquarters. “You do not touch the cutie mark!”
“The what?”
Rainbow twisted around and pointed at the three-colored lightning bolt on her hip.
“Oh, your symbol. Relax, I know how to groom magic ponies. I’ll make sure all the hairs are lying in the same direction and the mark is nice and clear. Now get down here.”
Rainbow landed. “How much longer?”
“If you had cooperated, I’d be finished.” Megan curried Dash’s haunches and then started in on her belly. Rainbow leapt again, this time slamming Megan in the face and knocking her to the ground.
“Rainbow Dash—!”
“Sorry! That tickles!”
Megan lifted a hand to her nose. When she pulled it away, she saw a few drops of blood. The pain was slight, but she was angry anyway.
Rainbow landed hard and folded her wings. “Oh my gosh! I’m sorry! Are you—?”
Megan snorted, wiped her nose with her sleeve, and pulled herself to her feet. “I get bloodier than this on a typical weekend. Let’s just finish this up and we can both get back to our business.”
Though she closed her eyes, ground her teeth, and flinched at every touch, Rainbow Dash now stood in place.
As she finished currying, Megan chuckled. “If I’d known getting a nosebleed was all I needed to do to make you behave, I would have hit myself in the face at the start. There, I’m done with that part. That’s the worst of it, I think.”
“What’s next?”
“Well, I’ll want to go over your coat again with the body brush and the finishing brush, but I don’t think you’ll find those quite so trying. Then your mane. Then your hooves.”
“My—?” Rainbow swallowed.
“You’ll cooperate, right?”
Rainbow swallowed again. The fur on her forehead grew damp and a few trickles of sweat ran down her cheeks.
“Hey, stop that!” Megan cried. “Now I have to clean your face off.”
After finishing with Rainbow’s coat, Megan set up a rickety card table and laid out the items she needed to groom a mane—a bowl of water, a water brush, a mane comb, a set of mane bands, and a needle and thread.
Rainbow narrowed her eyes as she peered at the needle. “What’s this for?”
“To hold the braids in place. This is going to take me a little time, so do you want a hay bag?”
“Excuse me?”
“Never mind. Just hold still so I don’t poke you.” She began to comb.
“You’re pulling.”
“Well, your mane’s ratty!” Surprised at her own irritation, Megan took a deep breath before adding, “You know, back in Dream Valley, all the rainbow ponies knew how to manage their hair.”
“All the what?”
“Never mind. But not every pony gets to have a striped mane like this. You should take care of it.”
“I take care of it just fine.”
“It looks like you hacked it with pruning shears.” Megan struggled to tug her comb through the tangles.
“You’re pulling again!”
Megan paused, put the comb down, and ran her fingers over Rainbow’s mane. She had forgotten how different the ponies’ hair was from that of an ordinary horse. Even this neglected mane was silky and soft, thick and full but as fine as the finest human hair. When she was smaller, Molly had often asked Megan to brush her hair for her and put in her pigtails, and during their visits to Dream Valley, Megan had spent a lot of time brushing the ponies’ hair as well.
“This isn’t working,” said Megan. “Stay here. I’ll be back.”
She tromped off to the house and reached it just as Molly, dressed in sneakers and pink overalls, barreled out the front door.
“About time you got up,” Megan said. “I hope you’re planning to clean your saddles.”
“I am.” Molly grinned and skipped. “I am so excited about today! When I come out riding a pretty pony, every other girl is going to be so jealous!”
“You’ve got your riding clothes ready, I hope.”
Molly laughed. “Relax, sis. I know how to do this.”
“Good. Go back upstairs and get me your hairbrush.”
“What?”
“Now.”
Molly crossed her arms. “Why don’t you just go get yours?”
“I don’t want to take my boots off. You’re in sneakers. Go.”
“Why my hairbrush? Why not—?”
“Now, Molly!”
Molly spun around, mimicked Megan’s voice under her breath, and stomped back into the house. She returned a minute later with a hair-filled pink brush, which she slapped into Megan’s hand. “What do you need this for, anyway?”
“Brushing ponies. What do you think I need it for?”
“Ooh! Can I help?”
“Go clean your tack.”
“Augh! You’ve been such a grouch this week!” Molly stuck out her tongue and stomped away.
Megan returned to the barn and began brushing Rainbow’s mane. “I think this will work a lot better,” she said.
“You’re still pulling,” Rainbow answered.
After Megan finished brushing, she started putting bunches of Rainbow’s hair into bands.
“Don’t mix the colors, please,” said Rainbow. “Especially the blue and green.”
“I’m being careful. All the colors will be in separate plaits.”
“But what are you doing exactly?”
“It’s called a button braid.” Megan took off the first of the bands, braided the clump of hair, and then, folding the braid over on itself, took up the needle and thread to sew it into place. “There.” She held up a mirror for Rainbow. “See what I’m doing?”
Rainbow twisted her head back and forth, trying to catch a glimpse of the back of her own neck. “What the hay? That looks awful.”
“It makes your mane look tidy.”
“It makes my mane look stupid.”
Megan grabbed Rainbow’s chin, wrenched her head around, and met her eyes. “Listen, Ambassador, putting you in a horse show, as I’ve said repeatedly, was not my idea. Dressage requires braided manes. You want to be in the show, you have to follow the rules. Got it?”
“Yeah, I got it. Sheesh, I never expected Magog the Mighty to be such a grouch.”
“My name is Megan, thank you.” Megan sewed the rest of the braids along Rainbow’s neck and then turned to her forelock. “I’m going to give you a French braid in the front here. You’ve got a thick forelock, so I think it’ll work well.”
She separated the red, orange, and yellow into three strands and then braided them together. After sewing the forelock in place, she stepped back to examine her work.
“It would look better if the thread matched your hair, but I don’t have that many colors. Overall, I’d say it’s good. So, how do you want your tail? Braided or banged?”
Rainbow raised an eyebrow. “Banged? What does that mean?”
“I’d cut it off straight at the level of your fetlocks. You ponies’ tails hang funny, but I think I could get it about right.”
“Let’s just do the braid, then.”
Megan ran her fingers through Rainbow’s tail to undo the tangles. Then she took up the brush again. Holding the hair firmly with one hand, she brushed in small sections to avoid yanking hairs out of Rainbow’s dock. Then, starting at the top with the short hairs and working her way down, she braided Rainbow’s tail without incident.
“How does that feel?” she asked when finished.
Rainbow gave her tail a swish. “It feels kinda heavy.”
“That’s normal, I think. What would you say if I tied a ribbon around your dock?”
Rainbow looked over her shoulder. “Seriously?”
“Ponies look naked without them.”
“The braiding’s bad enough. No ribbons.”
“Okay, fine. Hoof time. It would be best if I could’ve had a professional farrier take a look, but we don’t have that option—”
Megan paused. Sweat trickled down Rainbow’s face again.
“Something wrong, Ambassador?”
With an obviously forced smile, Rainbow lifted a front hoof and waved it. “I, uh, think my hooves look fine, don’t you? Probably don’t need to do anything with those.”
“We’ll want to pick and black them at least.”
“I mean, we did the coat, did the mane, did the tail. Nopony’s gonna care about my hooves, right?”
“You should care. It looks to me like you need a trim.” Megan walked into the barn to grab her hoof stand and other equipment, but when she walked back out, Rainbow was nowhere to be seen. She tossed the stand into the ground. “Oh, for crying out—! Rainbow Dash! Where are you?”
Something thuddded against the barn’s galvanized roof. She looked up to see Rainbow peeking down at her over the edge.
“Get down here right now, dammit, before you mess up your mane.”
“I think we can skip the hooves,” Rainbow said.
“I think we can’t. Rainbow Dash, you are really starting to piss me off.”
“What does that mean?”
“I’m getting mad. You wanna see a legendary warrior when she’s mad?”
Rainbow shuffled, cleared her throat, and said, “I really don’t like anypony touching my hooves.”
“You’re in luck. I’m not a pony.”
“Just skip it. Please?”
Megan ran her fingers through her hair and squeezed her eyes shut. Her head throbbed.
After staring at the ground and tapping her foot for almost a minute, she took a deep breath and said, “Okay, look. You like to think you’re cool, right? Tough? Athletic?”
“Yeah—”
“Well, you know what’s really cool, tough, and athletic? A mustang. You know what that is?”
“Yeah!” Rainbow took off and flew a circle in the air. “They go thunderin’ through the desert, runnin’ wherever they want—”
“Exactly. And you know what mustangs have? The mustang roll.”
Rainbow frowned and began lowering herself toward the ground. “Which is?”
“Hold up a hoof.”
Rainbow shot into the air again.
“I promise not to touch it! Just hold it up and look at it. See the front of it there? See the little bulge above your toe?”
“Yeah—”
“That’s where the wall is breaking. Because you’re not spending your days running around on hard rocks like a mustang, your hooves are growing out too far. Walking damages the wall and makes a bulge, and you risk cracking a hoof.”
“So—”
“So you need a trim.” Megan waved a small, curved rasp. “I may not be a farrier, but I’ve trimmed a few hooves in my day. I can give you a pretty good imitation of a mustang roll, and after I do, your feet will feel better.”
Rainbow turned her hoof back and forth as she peered at it. Another drop of sweat ran down her cheek.
“Please don’t make this harder than it has to be, Rainbow.”
Rainbow lowered, closed her wings, and stared at the ground. She swallowed hard, and her voice cracked as she said, “I just . . . I just don’t do hooficures.”
“I don’t even know what that is. I do trims. You’ll be able to run faster if I do this, and you’ll be less likely to hurt your hooves.”
Rainbow looked up. “It’s for athletes, then?”
“Yes. You need your hooves trimmed regularly if you want to be a good athlete.”
After a minute more, Rainbow launched into the air, flew a tight loop, and landed again with a thump. She took a deep breath and said, “Let’s do this.”
A lump formed in Megan’s throat and the rasp slipped from her hand. She remembered what she had thought and how she had felt when she had first seen Rainbow’s muzzle peeking from the well. When Rainbow had flown the loop, she had felt the same thing again.
Now fumbling, Megan took a hoof knife and ran a hand down the back of Rainbow’s front right cannon. Rainbow’s leg lifted, and Megan gripped the hoof and began to scrape. With a loud hiss, the blade slid along the hard tissue, pulling up mud and grit.
Rainbow trembled and jerked her leg, but Megan held tight.
“I didn’t stab your frog, did I?”
Rainbow shook her head.
Megan kept working. “You’ve got good cups.”
“Thanks.” Rainbow’s voice was barely above a whisper.
“Thick walls, too.”
“Uh huh.”
Squeezing Rainbow’s fetlock between her own knees, Megan trimmed the bars and frog, and then took nippers and cut the wall back. After that, she gave the pony a moment of respite as she set up her hoof stand. Having done that, she found the rasp she’d dropped and again reached for Rainbow’s leg.
She paused when she saw Rainbow tremble again. Looking up, she caught Rainbow’s face in profile: the pony’s ears were laid back, and a fresh bead of perspiration meandered down her cheek from under her forelock. With eyes half-closed and mouth silently working, Rainbow looked curiously small and frightened.
Megan straightened, put the rasp down, and walked away.
“What’s up?” Rainbow said. “I’ll hold still. I’ll—”
Rubbing her temples, Megan shook her head. “I’ve been taking it out on you.”
“What?”
“You remind me of somebody.”
“Some . . . buddy? A friend of yours?”
“Yes, you could call her a friend—of sorts. I found her in there.” Megan waved toward the old well. “Same place I found you. Firefly. She first took me to Dream Valley.”
“Really? I thought you walked into the Valley of Dreams on the Rainbow Bridge and then pulled the rainbow out of the sky and fought monsters with it.”
“I think the story’s been embellished.”
“So, was this Firefly awesome?”
“She was a lot like you. Loved stunt flying. She helped me fight Tirek.” Megan ran a hand over her own face and realized a few tears had run from her eyes. “I didn’t really see her much after that. To be honest, I avoided her.”
“Why?”
Megan bit her lip, turned, and stared at the well. “I was angry.” She rubbed her hands together and felt the calluses at the bases of her fingers. “She climbed out of that well and told me I was perfect and wonderful, that I was going to be some big hero if I just jumped on her back. I was a little kid and didn’t know any better. I went with her, and that began two years of pure hell.”
The sky had lightened now and the stars had faded. The Rainbow Bridge stood stark against the blue. Megan wondered what she’d see if she asked Rainbow Dash to carry her over it. “Don’t get me wrong. I loved the ponies, and I loved Dream Valley. But Tirek scared me to death. For months afterwards, I had nightmares about him and woke up screaming. And I didn’t know, when I turned the Rainbow of Light on him, that it was going to kill him.”
She sank to her knees. “After that, it was a long time before I could bring myself to go back to Ponyland again. I felt all twisted up. I told myself that I’d saved the ponies, that I’d done a good thing, but then I’d remember how Tirek screamed when he died.”
She wiped her cheeks. “Just as I thought maybe I was working things out and could put it all behind me, another monster showed up. Then another. And another. And the ponies always ran to me.”
She pressed her palms against her eyes until she saw white flashes. “One morning, when I got up, the Rainbow Bridge was gone. I was happy, because it meant I didn’t have to fight anymore. But I felt awful for feeling happy. Every night afterwards, I tossed in bed, almost in a panic, wondering if the ponies were still alive, wondering if something had finally destroyed the valley, wondering if they could get on without me.” Laughing faintly, she shrugged and pulled her forearm across her face. “I guess you didn’t need me after all.”
Megan felt something solid fall gently on her shoulder. She turned her head to look and was surprised to see Rainbow Dash’s freshly trimmed hoof. “You know,” Rainbow said softly, “you did save the ponies. Twilight’s the egghead, and I don’t read a lot of history, but from what I understand, there wouldn’t be any Equestria today without you. There’s even a statue of you in Canterlot.”
Megan laughed again. “Ugh, really?”
“Well . . . it doesn’t look anything like you, but it’s there.”
Megan reached her hand to her shirt and felt for the locket again. “I wish I’d left the Rainbow of Light with the ponies, and I really wish I hadn’t avoided Firefly. We should have had it out.”
“What would you have said to her?”
Staring at the ground, Megan shrugged. “It doesn’t matter now.”
With a grin on her muzzle, Rainbow walked around, faced Megan, and placed a hoof against her cheek. “Well, maybe Firefly’s gone, but if she’s as awesome as you say, she could be an ancestress of mine. So having me here is kinda like having her, right?”
“I guess—”
“What do you need to say?”
Megan chewed her lip for a minute as she thought. Then she smiled and, mimicking Rainbow’s gesture, touched Rainbow’s cheek. “If she were here, I’d say, Firefly, I am mad as hell at you for grabbing a little girl and dragging her off to another world without even telling her why.”
“What else?”
“I’m mad as hell at you for making me risk my life day after day.”
“What else?”
“I’m mad as hell at you for making me kill someone.”
“And?”
“And . . . thank you for believing in me.” Megan swallowed. Her tears started afresh. “And thank you for introducing me to your friends. And I’m sorry. For everything.” She fell forward and wrapped her arms around Rainbow’s neck.
Nuzzling Megan’s hair, Rainbow whispered, “Hey. Don’t mess up my plaits.”
Megan laughed, but a few minutes passed before she pulled away.
“So, should we finish my hooves sometime today?” asked Rainbow with a wink.
“Yes, Ambassador. Yes, let’s.”
Just as Megan finished sanding and blacking Rainbow’s hooves, a shadow passed over the sun. Thinking it was a cloud, Megan glanced up and gasped. A pink airship was lowering out of the sky.
The ship’s balloon was stenciled with curving green vines and bright red hearts, and the gondola hanging beneath had the shape of a small boat with a tiny cabin and a wraparound deck. Leaning over the bulwark were five grinning ponies. As the ship touched down in the yard, Applejack jumped from the deck and lashed an anchor rope to the well.
Megan reorganized her supplies as the ponies climbed from the boat and walked toward the barn. As soon as the ponies had all gathered, Rainbow Dash strutted back and forth in front of them.
“Magog,” Twilight Sparkle said, “you’ve met the others, right?”
Megan nodded. “Last week, remember?”
“I must say, Rainbow Dash,” said Rarity, “your new coiffure is most becoming. Magog, darling, I’ve been trying for years to convince her to restyle her hair. How did you do it?”
“I have a way with ponies.” From among her supplies, Megan pulled a long purple ribbon and checked it over for runs and snags.
“She does look good,” said Twilight, rubbing her chin, “but the black hooves are kind of weird. Didn’t you have blue?”
“We don’t really do blue hoof polish around here, but I don’t think anybody’s going to be looking at her hooves anyway.” Megan put a finger to her lips and tiptoed up behind Rainbow. Rainbow didn’t notice, but the other ponies struggled to suppress giggles.
Rainbow frowned and began to turn her head, but Rarity grabbed her chin. “And she’s positively glowing,” Rarity said loudly. “How did you make her coat so glossy?”
“It’s a spray called show sheen.” Megan bent down and, as carefully as she could, tied a bow around Rainbow’s dock. “A little of that and she’s sure to knock everybody’s socks off.”
“Every buddy?” said Applejack. “Well, it’ll all be fine, then. These humans must be right nice folks if’n they all call each other buddy.”
Megan smiled and shook her head. “Silly pony.” She finished the bow and stepped back.
Applejack covered her mouth and snorted.
"What's going on?" Rainbow slipped from Rarity’s grasp and spun around. “Are you doing something back there?”
“Nothing at all, Rainbow. Just checking your braids.”
Pinkie bounced around the yard. “Ooh! Ooh! Maybe the humans’ll like us so much, they’ll all wanna have a big party!”
Megan laughed. “Listen, Surpri—er, I mean . . . whatever your name was. Pinkie? Ambassador Pinkie. Let’s just get through the show first. We can worry about parties later.”
Her ears drooping, Pinkie sat hard on the ground. “Awwww—”
“But if this goes well,” Megan added, “and doesn’t turn into an interdimensional disaster, I will personally throw all of you the best and biggest pony party you’ve ever seen.”
“Yippee!” Pinkie leapt into the air and backflipped. “Oh, it will be so wonderful. We’ll have balloons and cake and ice cream, and we’ll all wear fancy dresses and play Pin the Tail on the Pony and—”
Megan cleared her throat and Pinkie fell silent. “Now,” Megan said, “who’s next?”
The ponies turned and looked at Fluttershy, who was trying to hide behind the barn door.
“Oh,” Fluttershy whispered. “Oh . . . my.”
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Yeah, Rainbow Dash does take the 'tomboy' thing a bit too far sometimes. I think it's believable that she'd neglect it to the point where it risks her health out of fear of looking 'sissy'. I wonder if she has some bad experience with this sort of thing - maybe got laughed out of the prom at Flight School or something for not pulling off looking pretty. Still, if there's anything Megan's good at, it's this. If Rarity thinks its good, I'd take her word for it.
FWIW...? This is a dumb idea; incredibly dumb. The Equestrians don't even look like Earth equines with their coat colours, larger brain-cases and binocular eyes. Unless Megan and the Mane Six jumps the back-stage crew and keeps them under lock-and-key, Molly and Rainbow won't even get as far as the show floor. If they do get to the show floor, though, I'm not sure how well they'll do. Dressage is hard enough with an Earth equine who might have his or her own view about what they want to do. Rainbow is a full-blown sapient and a stunt-mare with a notoriously strong will. I'm not sanguine about her ability to work with Molly as a part of a team.
That blimp...? Megan must live a long way away from civilisation for the Pony airship not to have been spotted from miles away and drawing a response.
I think Megan is worrying a bit too much about the potential safety of the ponies. Yes, there are risks but they are manageable at this stage. I think that those fears are infecting her subconscious and her behaviours too.
It looks like you did your research on equestrian activities and horse care.
I have a feeling Rarity's gonna love the grooming.
And Mane Six wearing tack. Me gusta!
1872235
When I decided to write pony fan fiction, I immediately started studying horse anatomy, reading articles on horse care, and watching videos on the same. I had assumed that was common, but then I had readers, including EqD pre-readers, telling me to tone down the technical details.
1872246, ehh, it's an easter egg for those into the stuff.
Though I have to admit, you do need to strike a balance. Your story kinda lean towards the "Tom Clancy" side (excessive) when it comes to things like that.
Honestly I never thought about how messed up and irresponsible it was to trick or kidnap a little kid to face potentially lethal forces. The worst part is, tons of kids shows pulled this device! It was like the main characters couldn't save themselves without a 'chosen one' who had to be a human kid and/or his/her annoying siblings/friends.
1873209
Personally, I love that trope in kids' shows. The idea, of course, is that every kid watching the show yearns to be the girl who gets carried away to a magical world by a winged pony, or else the young boy whose awesome dad is a globetrotting scientist who lets his son tag along and use loaded firearms.
Still, even though allowing children into dangerous adult situations where they somehow excel even though they should more realistically fold like soggy pancakes is a time-honored trope, it has high deconstruction potential. My novel in progress, Rag & Muffin, is in its entirety an effort to screw around with this trope.
Ah, an excellent chapter! The back-and-forth between Megan and RD impresses me the most, I think, but there are plenty of other things to love. You’ve done an admirable job of balancing the cute, funny bits with the drama, and weaving it all together seamlessly. I was able to move from one mood to the next as I read and it never felt jarring. The tone is serious enough that Megan’s angst doesn’t feel inappropriate, but not so serious that it takes the fun out of grooming a magical cartoon pony.
This is a very minor issue, but I think Pinkie’s few lines of dialogue were a bit too bland and too generic. If you’re going write a chapter about her, be sure spice up her lines with more colorful details.
At any rate, this was fantastic, even better than I expected. I eagerly await the next installment.
1873662
I sweated over this thing, so your comments are quite gratifying. Obviously, Pinkie's dialogue is not important to this chapter, but I may revisit it if I can come up with a way to improve it.
You may be pleasantly surprised by what I have in store for Pinkie. Her chapter will be a major shift for the story, at least if I can pull it off. Most of the "X Time for Ponies" stories (which this is an attempt to subvert) start off with Pinkie, but I'm saving her for later because of her importance.
AWESOME!
But I think Megan is, at the moment, a bit too much paranoic, just saying.
I imagine Fluttershy will be more tamed, but still will make it for an interesting chapter
1877423
I think the rest of the cast would agree!
1884976
Thanks for the suggestions. I'll take them.
The word berm, as I understand it, is correct here; I've placed the Williams (??? TVTropes says that's their last name, so it must be true . . . ) family ranch in Oklahoma, and according to my research, that strip of grass between the sidewalk and the street is called the berm in that region. However, it's confusing, so I'll remove it. And yes, I really do look up stuff like that while I'm writing.
I also agree that the other sentence you point to can be misread as self-groping. I'll change it.
Thanks for bringing your keen eye to this tale, but, tssk, I set the story only five years after the events of My Little Pony n' Friends and you didn't even mention the anachronistic wind turbines? I'm afraid you may be slipping, my friend.
This is amazing!
I love the way you write the ponies' voices. I love the detail you put into Rainbow's grooming. I love the pony history. I love Megan's weird ambiguous melancholy. This is the best, most unexpected thing I've read in a week! I love it!
1922960
Thank you. Chapter 3 will be up soon, I hope.
Man this story is amazing so far. Can not wait to see where it goes.
Yes the technical details do get annoying, but one thing you could do is have some sort of reference on them.
Nice so far. Reminds me a bit of Grossman's The Magicians, in its exploration of (not to spoil overmuch) the real psychological damage that comes from being a fictional children's hero. Also, your protagonist is really quite appealing in a "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" way. I've got No familiarity with G1, other than the vague notion that, yes, it was shockingly grim at times, so good job with the stealthy hand-holding for the newbies among us.
1923292
I've been working on a novel, under the working title of Rag & Muffin, that deals with the psychological damage that comes of being a magical girl's sidekick, but after Puella Magi Madoka Magica, my idea's not original anymore. Of course, it wasn't quite original in the first place.
G1's Megan appeals to me with her surprising toughness and cleverness. One of her first acts after arriving in Ponyland is to fistfight bare-handed with a dragon. No kidding. Typically, her methods involve ingenuity or deus ex machina, but she can throw down when she has to. She's plainly a skilled rider even in the show, and since she's a farm girl, I assume she can also drive a tractor, shoot a gun, throw a rope, and perform other similar tasks.
1923399
...Megan took on a dragon mano a mano weaponless?...G1 was considered kiddy because?
1923419
Well, she took a swing at the dragon. It didn't do much good, as you probably expect, but that is what she did. (And this was an adult dragon, not a baby dragon like Spike. It was a bit bigger than a car or van, IIRC.)
OMG I always knew someone would get Rainbow Dash to get that hooficure! Anyways, I love psychology, always have, so this is really interesting! I also happen to be very familiar to G1 having grown up with it, so when I first saw this on Equestria Daily, I knew I had to read it.
And you didn't disappoint! I can understand where the paranoia would be coming from, having killed things at such a young age and having the ponies be so reliant on her. I scrolled around the comments and others seem to have the same critique. There are some things that are not technical enough and some that are too technical. Mind you, if you get too technical, I as a reader will either be confused and move on or have the urge to look it up, interrupting the story (assuming I didn't know it). One of the not so technical ones is the part where Megan will hide the ponies. I understand she lives on a farm, but at this point, a huge air ship is bound to draw attention and pastel ponies in a horse show would get kicked out I think. Don't you have to register or something? Eh, whatever. Details, details.
Anyways this is really interesting and I hope to continue!
P.S. Don't you hate it when you have an original idea and someone else does it first and you look like you're copying? v-v I hate that.
The real reason Firefly never showed up again was twofold: Budget and the Toy-driven nature of the show.
Budget prevented them from keeping both Sandy Duncan (Firefly) and Tony Randall (The Moochik) in the cast.
By the time the Catrina special aired, they'd stopped making Firefly toys, and they wanted to push the current set of toys.
1923624
Badass attempt is still badass, most would just run and hide.
Pretty good. btw does anyone else remember how there a mirror from a g1 book that creates pony children, well i think it's frozen mirror pool water strengthen to be less chaotic and create smart YOUNG duplicates (Instead of those no smarter than a video games AI as seen with the pinkie clones.)
I wonder if you will have megan have them say that humanity is not peaches and cream (Wondering if she should mentionstuff like world war 2 and the likes)
1923794
I was unaware of that book. Maybe that explains why all the baby ponies look like exact duplicates of their mothers. Since they have no stallions around (except the big brothers, who apparently spend most of their time running around the world or something), I figured the G1 ponies must reproduce through cloning.
1923664
Oh, yes, but, you know, fansaving . . .
In fact, I don't think any of the ponies from Rescue at Midnight Castle show up in Escape from Catrina, even though the ponies are having a welcome back party for Megan. G1 really cycled through the characters in order to give maximum exposure to the toys, with the result that, sadly, only a few of the pony characters become memorable.
1923906 OH yeah, (Btw i meant comic1 not book my bad) you see My Little Pony refers to two different comics based on the original My Little Pony comics that ran in the UK during The Eighties.
The first comic, simply called My Little Pony, came out in 1985. An issue came out every two weeks. The next comic, "My Little Pony And Friends" (not to be confused with the American cartoon of the same name), came out two years later. It was twice the price and came out every two months however it had more pages.
For the most part the comics were more Slice of Life themed then the western cartoons and Megan wasn't in the comics. Many characters also have very different personalties from My Little Pony And Friends. It was not uncommon to see illustrated stories in the comics. The comics typically used vector artwork instead of original drawings for most characters.
NOTE not to be confused with IDW My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic which is out on itunes.
You've got my attention.
1923906
Here's a link to the mirror story.
Some other fun stories are:
Applejack's Amazing Adventure (Trust me, read this one. G1!AJ has an major CMOA in here.)
A Worrying Time
The Trolls and the Castle of Darkness (one of my favorites. Also, you get to see Majesty in action!)
The Uninvited Guest (G1!Twilight was rather OP too.)
Baby Lucky Disobeys (Why no one dares disobey Majesty.)
Take a read, they're all fairly short.
1886558 Oddly enough, I never got an indication from the site that you had responded. Huh.
No matter, but I do want to congratulate you on another EQD mention! Way to rack them up.
This is wonderful!
I'm a big nostalgic fan of G1, so I'm really enjoying the homages. I like what you've done with Megan's character and the realistic and affecting ways that experiences like she had would have shaped it. It's adult without being over-the-top gritty for the sake of being dark.
Hmm. I'm gonna agree with Megan. That is a pretty stupid idea to introduce them to humanity. Like, holy shit bad.
1923906
I figured the G1 ponies must reproduce through cloning.
I was in college when the first Pony specials and the original series were broadcast--I've still got a couple VHS tapes full of episodes I recorded back then--and my theory involved the Ponies reproducing through a process of parthenogenesis that was triggered by pheromones released whenever the Big Brother ponies returned to Dream Valley from their adventures around the world. So as you can see, I have a long history of overthinking this Pony stuff.
This is a terrific story, by the way, and I'm really looking forward to seeing what you do with it.
Mike
And with this all the memories come rushing back. Damn I choked up so many times with Megan, I grew up with the old G1 stuff and I remember being so scared for her. I remember hiding in my dad's lap when Tirek showed up (I was a wuss as a kid)
A nice tribute to the (sadly underrated) G1 pony cartoons. Plus, it'll be interesting to see the different reactions the Mane 6 have in response to their respective grooming ordeals.
Not to mention being gawked at and judged by a crowd of slack-jawed hairless monkeys...
The premise is a little silly, but it's caught my attention. I echo the thought where a somewhat PTSD Megan is reacting in a realistic way. I'm not sure where this is going with the official meetup venue, but it would be gratifying to see a story where humans are realistic, but we don't eat babies and delight in the cries of pain of ponies at night.
1925368
I agree, but a part of me really wants it to work out. I have a soft spot for stories where things work out for the good at the end, and Megan really deserves a happy story, I think.
1928928
I do think somebody else first came up with it, though, or at least something similar. It might have been Shinzakura.
This...this is a great story
I have never been more tempted to give a story a thumbs down before I read it than when I saw the synopsis. Ponies at a dressage show? Ugh. The stupid makes my head hurt.
Glad I gave it a chance though, and very glad Megan thinks it's a dumb idea too. 
Though I'm still a bit confused on why she has yet to simply say so. The narative causality runs strong in this one? 
Good characters, though the central conflict is painfully forced, and the flashbacks sometimes get confusing. +thumbs & +favourite
1932031
Please tell me you at least see the irony in that.
(Joke) Alt. Title: The Ultimate Groom: Manestyling Has Never Been So Featured
Walking into it I thought this was going to be one of those silly fics I only look into out of curiosity.
Walking out I feel all tingly inside :D. Nice characters. Even though I never watched G1, I still felt a connection with Molly, was it(? I suck with names), when she opened up to Rainbow. Gotta suck being a kid thrown into a mental-scarring situation, even if you get to chill with talking ponies.
But yeah, as said before: nice fic, great characters, good dialogue. I never thought a story about horses being groomed would hold my ADHD self's interest without violent explosions, but it did. Good job! Suck it, Michael Bay. I can like other things except explosions!
1934071
Thank you, and I'm gratified to hear you say so. I was actually expecting at least somebody, somewhere, to tell me this story is boring. Maybe the people who are thinking it are just too polite.
I have just one question. does the ponies, Celestia and Luna included, know anything about the human world. about our technology, all of our countries and our history. (please say no, please say no, its funnier if they don't know.)
It's always nice to see someone dabble into G1. You also brought up a point that I never had thought of til now, compared to the rest of it's colleagues during the 80's it indeed was the only one with an actual body count(not counting the TF movie or the japanese series).
You have a nice habit of peppering of old show and toy trivia throughout and interesting and intriguing story.
So keep up the good work.
Also, yeah the UK comics kinda explained the origins for alot of the toyline/show's ponies, especially the mirror for the babies and well the Twinkle-Eye ponies' has to be read to be believed. They also had a bunch of weird adventures with a stroybook flavor to them.
1941779
I knew about the twinkle eye ponies' origins. That's probably the most famous of the old comics because of its grim, if cursory, story line. The origin of the baby ponies I did not know, and now I'm scrambling to revise some of the stuff I was going to bring into this story in order to bring it into line with the comic.
So, Flutterhshy is wearing tail extensions and is very embarassed about it... It might be a tough one.
1947513
Shhhhh . . .
This continues to amaze. I love how deep you can turn something as simple as some grooming into this amazingly deep look at Megan, her experiences in the G1 show, and the consequences of that.
Also, I'm kind of amazed by how stupid the Equestrian's plans for First Contact are.
This is a great story; I should have read it sooner! And now, on to the next chapter!
This is gritty and heartwarming all at the same time. I love how you portrayed Megan as having serious issues with having been Ponylands hero, and yet still was kinda willing to work with rainbow dash to get a better bead on herself.
I want to see more of the ponies slowly realizing that the Magog isn't real, but Megan is. Seeing them getting to know the hero as a person should be a life altering experince, and I'm hoping to see megan get some closure as well.
>>BenRG I'd think it just the opposite and that might be why she's so egotistical and tomboyish. Too you know not be made fun off for it ever again.
Seriously, I just can't follow the story.