A Mighty Demon Slayer Grooms Some Ponies
by D. G. D. Davidson
Cover art by Trinityinyang
Editing and fact-checking by Horsegirl123
I. Meet Megan
When Megan wrenched open the driver’s side door of her mom’s rusty Chevy pickup, she found Danny sitting in the seat with a freshman girl in his lap. The girl shrieked and rocketed to the other side of the cab, but Danny merely leaned back and tugged his ball cap down over his eyes. “Hey, sis,” he said.
Megan yanked the cap from his head and shoved it against his chest. “Tell your flavor of the week to take a hike, Danny. I got a lot to do this afternoon.”
“Yeah, yeah. Don’t blow a gasket. Just climb in.”
“Move over. I’m driving.”
Danny slid to the passenger’s side and goosed his girl. She shrieked again, but then fumbled open the door and jumped out.
Megan rammed the key into the ignition; the engine groaned and struggled for a few seconds, but finally rumbled to life.
“Call me!” the girl cried as Megan put the truck in gear and pulled out.
“Tell me you at least went to class today,” Megan said.
Danny slouched in the sun-cracked seat and pulled his cap back on. “Sure.”
“Buckle your seatbelt.”
He didn’t move.
“Buckle it.”
He groaned. “You’ve gotten worse than Mom.”
She muttered under her breath, “And you’ve gotten worse than Dad.”
Megan pulled to a stop in front of the small, two-story middle school. With a stack of textbooks clasped to her chest, Molly stood on the sidewalk in the midst of a knot of her girlfriends and jabbered away.
Megan tapped the steering wheel impatiently for a moment, but then leaned on the horn.
Molly jumped, snatched up her backpack, and, with pigtails bouncing against her shoulders, ran to the truck. She pulled open the door, swung an arm in an exaggerated goodbye to her friends, and then shoved Danny to the middle of the cab as she climbed in.
“Hey, Dan. Hey, sis. What’s up?”
“Trying to get you two to move your butts, that’s what.”
Molly’s eyes widened. She squealed. Megan was too far away to grab, so Molly grabbed Danny instead and shook him. “Oh, tomorrow’s the day, isn’t it? I’m so excited! We’re gonna make history.”
“It’s gonna be a disaster,” Megan muttered. She rubbed her temples, threw the truck into gear, took off, and immediately slammed on the brake to avoid rear-ending a sports car stopped at a red light.
“I know you’re stressed,” said Danny, “but try not to get us killed.”
Megan blinked several times and shook her head. “I’ve barely slept this week.”
Danny adjusted his hat. “You sure you don’t want me to drive?”
She glanced sidelong at him as she put the truck in neutral. “I’m the one with the license here.”
“C’mon, I’ve been driving this truck since I was six!”
“So have I, but you haven’t driven it in town. Just hush, will you?”
The light changed, and the truck made ominous crunching noises as Megan stomped the clutch and fought the stick. After many protestations, the old truck at last moved, and she turned it onto the county road that would take them back to the ranch.
“Five years,” she said, talking to herself as much as to her siblings. Outside, the road changed from pavement to gravel. The houses became more dilapidated and more widely spaced, finally giving way to trailer homes surrounded by broken-down cars and old tractor parts, which in turn gave way to rolling, heat-soaked hills full of yellowing grass and reddish sandstone. Megan pounded a fist against the steering wheel. “Five years since we’ve been to Ponyland. I’d almost convinced myself it was a make-believe game. Then I get up one morning and there’s a pony in our well again.”
Danny laughed. “I wondered if the ponies would be able to keep away from you forever.”
“The last time we were there, the ponies lived in a little mansion on the edge of a valley, and everything in the world was out to kill or enslave them. Now they tell me they have a whole damn empire and it’s been five thousand years since we were there. Five thousand years, but they still remember us!” Megan shook her head. “I almost wish it was make-believe.”
Danny hunkered down in his seat and put his feet on the dash. “They don’t really remember us, sis. They think you’re ‘Magog the Mighty, Warrior from Another World.’”
“Danny, put your feet down and shut up.” Megan's eyes burned. She rubbed them and struggled to concentrate on the road. She slid a hand to her collar and felt under her shirt to make sure the locket was still there. “What’s going to happen to them? What will people do when they find out there’s really a world full of magical ponies?”
Danny shrugged. “I dunno, trade with them for goods and services, maybe? Relax. Vivisecting friendly talking animals only happens in dumb sci-fi cartoons. Nobody wants to hurt your little ponies.”
“Everybody wants to hurt my little ponies, or have you forgotten?”
“I mean nobody around here wants to hurt your ponies.”
“Ahem, let’s see . . . hail, Magog, mighty warrior, slayer of demons and protectress of harmony. I come this day bearing—”
“Please don’t do that.”
Twilight Sparkle paused mid-sentence and frowned. She conjured a scroll and levitated it, running her eyes across its text. “I spent a week composing this greeting, and I checked it against twenty different manuals on ambassadorial etiquette. I was sure—”
Megan coughed into her hand. “Look, Princess . . . Princess Sparkle you said it was, right?”
Twilight beamed. “That’s correct. I have been personally charged with making contact with—”
“That’s nice. Look, I’m flattered that you spent so much time learning how to say hello, but look around you here.”
Twilight swiveled her head. “What am I looking for exactly?”
“We’re in a horse barn. You can drop the formalities.”
The barn was dim and musty. Dust motes swam in beams of sunlight angling through a few gaps in the rough wooden walls. Four horses stood in their stalls and rhythmically swished their tails as they munched the hay in their troughs. The barn was usually a place where Megan could unwind as she saw to the horses’ needs, but now that the ponies were visiting, it was nothing but a source of stress.
Megan bent down and put her hands on her knees so she could look Twilight in the eyes. “I don’t know what you guys were expecting, but back when I used to hang out with the ponies in Paradise Estate, I was twelve. I was a kid, okay? And I wasn’t a warrior. I was a farm girl. I still am a farm girl.”
Twilight frowned. “You did slay Tirek the demon centaur, didn’t you?”
“Well . . . yes.”
“And Grogar the demon ram?”
“It’s more like I banished him to the Shadow World, but yes.”
“And Lavan the lava demon?”
“Blew his ass to smithereens, and he deserved it. Actually, I only helped with that one.”
Twilight brightened. “You’re exactly the pony we’re looking for. I just want to say it’s a real honor to meet you. I mean, I’ve read several histories about the three warriors who guarded the Valley of Dreams, but of course I never imagined I’d meet them face-to-face.”
“And tell me what exactly happened to Dr—er, the Valley of Dreams, again?”
“Windigoes.”
Megan sighed.
“But that was a long time ago, at least for us. According to the stories, it’s because of you that the ponies survived at all.”
Megan straightened, turned away, and rubbed the back of her neck. “I . . . helped. That’s it. And it sounds like, in the end, I didn’t manage to save Dream Valley anyway.” She glanced back at Twilight. “Are you sure you want to go through with this?”
“Oh, yes. The Cosmic Council decided. Equestria has treaties with Griffonia, Antilopia, Draconium, Pixieland, the Buffalo tribes, Saddle Arabia, and Zebrabwe. Now that the Rainbow Bridge is open again, why not make a treaty with Yusa?”
“You mean U.S.A.”
“Right.”
“Okay, I get it that things have changed a lot in five thousand years and this Equestria of yours is a big place with its own government and military and whatnot, but are you sure this is the way you want to introduce yourselves to Earth? By appearing in a horse show?”
“Rainbow Dash said you told her that you always take horses there.”
“I do, but—”
“Then it’s perfect. We’ve memorized the patterns you gave us, which should be a cinch, so what else do you need to do to get us ready?”
Megan shrugged. “I guess a little grooming wouldn’t hurt. We should do that tomorrow morning before the show.”
“Great. I’ll go back over the rainbow and tell the others. You can start with Rainbow Dash.”
Twilight opened her wings and squeezed her eyes shut. Her horn glowed, and then she disappeared in an eruption of white light.
For a minute, Megan stared at the spot where Twilight had stood. Then she walked to a wall and leaned her head on it. “Five thousand years,” she muttered. “Five thousand years and the ponies are still stupid.” She kicked the wall and heard a board crack. Behind her, her old gelding T.J. whinnied in his stall.
The sun sat like a red blot on the horizon. With plenty of space in which to play in the Oklahoma sky, the clouds formed broad plains or tall, precarious towers that glowed pink and gold like frozen blooms of fire. Fields of green and yellow grass weaved and bobbed in the faint, cool breeze, and in the distance, silhouetted by the angry red light of the setting sun, wind turbines turned steadily but lazily in a monotonous rhythm. Over it all, high above even the highest clouds, stretched the Rainbow Bridge, gateway to Ponyland. The bridge never wavered and never faded; it looked impossibly solid, like an arc carved from crystal, and it twinkled as if stars were embedded in its surface.
A scraggly old walnut tree stood on the edge of the thin band of woods surrounding a muddy creek that meandered through the ranch, and Megan lay in the crook formed by the confluence of two of the tree's thick branches. She stared at the setting sun, felt the rough bark scrape into her back through her flannel shirt, and sipped a cold bottle of hard cider she’d filched from the basement cooler.
By the little light remaining, she flipped through her creased, smudged copy of Gulliver’s Travels, a book her father had given her when she was only six. On the inside of the front cover, he had written, “Daddy loves you,” followed by his name. That was why, five years ago, Megan had ripped the front cover off.
She was again reading the chapters depicting the titular character’s time among the horse-like Houyhnhnms, which caused Megan to think that perhaps the author had himself somehow visited Dream Valley. In particular, she wondered at his claim that the Houyhnhnms valued friendship and benevolence above all else, and at his description of the clever way they used their pasterns as if they were hands.
Twigs crunched on the ground behind her, but she didn’t turn her head. She knew those footsteps.
“Hey, Danny.”
“Hey, sis.” She felt the tree sway just a little as he leaned against it. “You know, back when we were really small, before the ponies came, we used to pretend this tree was a pirate ship. Way, way up in the high branches was the crow’s nest, and we always argued over who was gonna be the lookout.”
Megan put the bottle to her lips and swallowed until the cider was half gone, and then she leaned over and handed it down to him. “You were eight,” she said, “and you were scared to climb that high. I called you a chicken and told you to keep going; I told you you’d never be a real pirate if you couldn’t climb all the way up to the crow’s nest. So you climbed higher, and then you slipped and fell.”
“Slid all the way to the bottom and split my head on a root.”
“I thought my heart had stopped.”
“You carried me back to the house, yelling for Mom.”
“Molly sat in the living room holding her doll and screaming because she thought you were dying.”
“When Mom drove me to the hospital, you sat in the car and held my hand and sobbed and told me you were sorry, and that you were going to fix everything, and that you’d never let me get hurt ever again.”
Megan frowned. She rolled over onto her stomach and looked down at him. “I did?”
“Yep, you did. You were always trying to take care of us.”
“You and Molly got in so much trouble, somebody had to take care of you.”
Danny laughed quietly. He tipped the rest of the cider into his mouth and chucked the bottle toward the woods. Somewhere in the dimness, it shattered on a rock. “You’ve always been doing that, you know, trying to take care of everybody.”
Megan rolled back over and turned her eyes to the sun again; it was halfway below the horizon now, looking like a molten puddle floating in a crucible. “Go ahead and say it, Danny. You came out here for it.”
“They’re not your little ponies, sis. They’ve got an empire now, and they’ve got these princesses—”
“Remember the princess ponies? If the princesses on this ‘Cosmic Council’ are anything like them, the ponies are screwed.”
“You forgot they used to have a queen before you showed up, Meg. Queen Majesty. They told us about her.”
Megan rubbed a hand across her face. “Yes, I know. She was very powerful. She had a mirror that could see anything and shoes that could turn her invisible, but Tirek killed her anyway.”
Danny slammed a fist into the tree trunk. “Maybe it’s time to let the ponies make their own decisions.”
Megan reached into her shirt, pulled out her locket, and yanked it from her neck. She dangled it and watched the last rays of the sun glitter from its ruby-red surface. “And do you remember when the Rainbow Bridge disappeared?”
“How could I forget?”
Megan spun, jumped off the branch, and landed hard on the ground. “Don’t you get it? I had the locket. We never thought the Bridge would close. I didn’t think there was any harm in my keeping this, but then the Bridge was just gone! This was all the ponies had to protect them, and I took it from them!”
“It sounds like they did okay even without the locket.”
“Dream Valley was destroyed. Did any of those ‘ambassadors’ tell you that?”
Danny shrugged. “What’s it matter?”
“What’s it matter? Flutter ponies. Bushwoolies. Grundles. The Moochick. They’re dead, Danny, buried under the windigoes’ ice, and it’s my fault!”
“I have a hard time believing anything could kill the Moochick.”
“And the ponies had a hard time believing anything could kill Majesty, but something did. The Moochick's gone. He’s as mythological as we are.”
“But we’re not dead.”
The last glimmer of sunlight disappeared from the horizon, and the sky faded to deep purple. Venus shone brightly overhead.
Danny turned and trudged back toward the house, but he paused and looked over his shoulder. “Maybe they needed us to leave, Megan. Maybe they needed to lose us so they could finally build something for themselves. You can’t protect everyone. Not forever.”
He walked away and left Megan standing in the dark.
I'll admit, I have no familiarity at all with G1, but this fic looks like fun. Seems to have a lot more potential for dramatic depth than the cover image and description suggest (though I'm hoping it still delivers some cute brushie-brushie action). Gonna have to follow this one.
Also, kudos for the Gulliver's Travels allusion. Why did I never make that connection myself?
1866185
I tried that connection with Gulliver's Travels in a ham-handed way in an earlier story, but I like this better. I'm particularly struck by Swift's description of the Houyhnhnms using their pasterns as hands, and I think from now on I'm going to describe the ponies so using their pasterns, rather than their hooves, as an homage.
I don't think the ponies using their hooves in this way really became a thing until after G1, though.
(And yes, the brushie-brushie is coming!)
So... another G1/G4 crossover with G1 coming before G4.... might give it a shot
That is one hell of a start, though I wonder what Twilight was thinking about revealing the Ponies at a 4H competition.
Hmm... not what I expected given the description. Seems Equestria has a darker history, according to Megan.
1866294>>1866224
Thanks to both of you for giving it a chance. My usual shtick is to take silly premises and then squeeze as much drama out of them as I can. Admittedly, this means the cover and the contents often don't match.
1866316
I think I'm one of the few bronies that acknowledges the existence of the previous generations and seeing how they all can cross is interesting. And yes I have watched Tirek and his deeds
Fuck yea Megan was the boss back in the day.
Not stupid, Megan, they're just very, very naive... Even after everything that happened to them over the past five millennia, they still believe that, on the balance of probabilities, people would want to make peace. I just wish they were right.
I'm wondering if the Locket would have done anything significant, though. The Windigoes were a symptom of a very profound crisis in Pony society, something that I don't think the Rainbow of Light could have fixed, only possibly postponed. A crisis postponed is too often a crisis worsened. Of course, Megan probably only knows the vaguest aspects of the history of Equestria and the pre-Equestrian tribes of the Paradise Estate.
I'll be very interested, if Twilight gets around to telling her story, if she and Megan will explore together the origins of the Elements of Harmony and their apparent precursor the Fire of Harmony. I'm wondering if Moochick... or Starswirl as Twilight knows him... could make as many magical doomsday weapons as he wanted.
Aww, yeah!
Gotta say I loved pretty much every minute and your notes might just make me sit down with MLPnF now.
"Zebrabwe" I like that name much more that "Zebrika"
I'm looking forward for more
1866796
I think I stole Zebrabwe, though I don't remember from whom. I think Shinzakura might call it "Zebrababwe" in All-American Girl.
Megan?
i.ytimg.com/vi/O-Ll5zaPcIE/0.jpg
1867597
Yup. That's the one.
1867615
I see some other mixes there, it-s pretty entertaining
I love G1 and G4 crossovers. This one is interesting, so far.
Hmm, you have my following sir.
Although I must say that you could have used more filler between the time when Megan picks up her little sister and when Twilight arrives.
Hee.
I'm liking this. Smooth dialogue, good grammar, good pacing. And enough exposition that someone without knowledge of G1 can follow this fic.
Also, G4 ponies at a 4H show. G4 ponies wearing halters or bridles please.
Hi Deej, I'm stopping by. I know you didn't enter this one, but you posted it on the board, so I thought I'd take a crack at editing and giving out my comments. Did you know that if you collect 100 of my comments and show me the punch card, you are entered in a drawing for free air? Act now, and I'll also throw in some bonus dust! Won't that impress people? I'm not going to do both chapters for contest editing, cause I want to save some for the others, but I do plan on finishing them.
Edits HO!
With a stack of textbooks clasped to her chest, Molly stood in the berm in the midst of a knot of her girlfriends and jabbered away. : Remove the berm part, Mostly because I believe that word is incorrectly used.
She slid a hand to her breast and felt under her shirt to make sure the locket was still there. Usually, lockets on necklaces sit in the center of your chest. Unless you just want us to think she is groping herself, you might want to change that to neckline instead of breast.
That's it for chapter 1, and I can't wait till Tom shows in the Hobbit Trilogy(Darn them for milking our money)
I'm enjoying this immensely, especially the nods to Swift.
Wow, now that was quite an opening. I am glad that I saw this on EQD and I decided to go it a read.
So, Megan and her family were from Oklahoma in G1? That's a detail I haven't ever seen mentioned before.
Of all the G1 villains, only the Witches, Hydia & her daughters, got a second crack at the ponies. Everyone else got zorched. Porcina got crystalized, Grogar banished, etc. Never mind that the entire planet was trying to kill you anwyays.
It seems that Ponyland was a dark place before the ponies came and made it all shiny and bright. And it just kept trying to turn itself back to crap.
1924577 A bit like the Everfree maybe
Enjoying the heck out of this, i'm looking forward to where it goes.
never watched g1, but this is great none the less
This gets liked and followed for "Zebrabwe" alone.
Always enjoy a good Houyhnhnm reference in my pony fiction.
You're off to a good start.
Holy cow. I... just... Holy cow.
Well, now!
I can see how you'd enjoy History Repeats - it seems we are quite simpatico in terms of our thoughts on blending G1 and G4!
I am already seeing a lot of similar concepts and ideas to my own, but with enough uniqueness to show that G1 is abundantly
fertile as a source for G4-related plotlines.
Also, I am really liking your writing style so far. Crisp, succinct, and clear, with nicely natural-sounding dialogue. Bravo!
Just found out about this, and I can't wait to read more when I have the time :)
Ah yes, G1, where Ponyland was a tiny enclave surrounded by a nightmare world of evil.
Oh God, I remember Queen Majesty! She was in this cassette tape adventure we had. I looked up the G1 cartoon a few years ago and was surprised she wasn't in it. I had begun to think she was part of some weird spin-off our country made up.
Just started, but...
" On the inside of the front cover, he had written, "Daddy loves you," followed by his name. That was why, five years ago, Megan had ripped the front cover off."
...is an incredible example of saying a lot concisely. Brilliant. That sentence bowls me over.
Bushwoolies sound like the ancestors of Fluffle Puff.
"He tipped the rest of the cider into his mouth and chucked the bottle toward the woods."
Maybe this is a pet peeve of mine, but the idea of throwing GLASS into the wild is INTENSELY evil and stupid, just BEGGING for it to get shattered on a rock and CUT the feet of anything not wearing shoes.
“Five thousand years and the ponies are still stupid.” I love that line.
I'm going to admit that I was deceived by the tittle. The fact that it appeared to have some G1 references is why I put on my "read later" list.
Until today, when I just read the first chapter. You actually put together a decent story and tomorrow I promise to read more. This fan fic has what many fan-stories on this site lack.... respect for the previous gen and real writing skills.
You made Megan's cynical side, which didn't exist in cannon, really believable. Thank you, for making me sorry for putting off reading this until now.
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¡Yes! ¡I totally agree that throwing glass around is terrible! I was about to comment, but you beat me to it. I add that the broken glass, if it is curved or weathers down to rounded lumps, can focus light well enough for starting wildfires too.
Nice start for what looks to be a great story. Keep up the good work!
1930294 And I think the Rainbow Bridge might also be a "Thor"/ Nores myth reference. (Of course it may just be here because G1 used it.)
I have been sent here from a VERY old conversation you had with Jake the Army Guy on his profile comments. Given the jig is already up with regard to the story synopsis, I can't wait to see what I'm actually in for :-)