Fluttershy is sent to the dimension of man by a mysterious pony with unknown intentions, and she is lost and confused as she tries to figure out why she is here. She hopes to find someone who will help her, but stumbles upon to something far worse. A man filled with the lust for power discovers these ponies, and plans to use their magic to his demands. Fluttershy has to reunite with her pony friends and stop him from continuing his plans.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I like the concept, but try and fix a few minor things, such as dialogue format and a few plot holes, otherwise good luck!
pretty good! when are you gonna update it next?
Dialogue changed, plot holes filled, what do you think now?
Is it done now?
Nope there's one more chapter coming.
*dimension
Jesus Christ, I can't read the first chapter.
You need to add spacing into your stories so that it's easier for people to read, I'm having a hard time reading your story because of his. All the text is clumped together.
I will try to fix this then.
I myself enjoy clumped text, but how does this look? I'm going to edit all of the chapters with the spacing so it will be easier to read.
and....and....and the black hole has just enough force to knock out everything that goes near it and it sucks everything in and and and trixie is special somehow and and
Trixie is not special, the initial ripping had already occured, if you had actually been reading it you may of noticed this. I never even said anything at all about a black hole, those a much different from what is going on in this story. Finally I find all of your ands to be uneeded.
Seriously I never said black hole, I never said anything near it got knocked out and sucked in, Trixie did not make another one but opened the same one after it had already closed, and if you're suggesting that I use a lot of ands by repeating it yourself then you are mistaken, because I myself despise a story with ands left and right, I went over this more than once to make sure, and I really doubt you read more than a few sentences of this chapter.
1900669
Dimension portals are different from black holes bro
You mean a wormhole. Huh. When did Trixie learn how to do that? If you had Sonic in this he would go after her and save Twilight and her friends.
Not if Sonic got anything to say about that!