Good Versus Evil
“So what are your parents like?” Lyra nervously asked, trying to alleviate the tension she felt in their train car.
Bon Bon didn’t seem to notice. “Oh, they’re great ponies. You’d love them. My dad is an ice cream maker and my mom bakes decorative cakes, so there will definitely be plenty of dessert when we invite them over tomorrow.”
Lyra was wrong in assuming that she wouldn't be surprised any more this train ride. “T- tomorrow?”
“Sure!” Bon Bon replied happily. “I’ll ask Derpy to give it to them immediately. As long as she doesn’t get lost, my parents will be able to come over with plenty of time. Why wait?”
Because I am dreading every little thing about this meeting. “Y- yeah. Why not?”
“Oh, Lyra. I’m so glad that you’ll finally get to meet them! You’ll get to tell them all about your lyre playing and how you’re going to be playing at the Musician’s Ball! Isn’t that exciting!”
Lyra just mumbled. She didn’t know what it was, but there was something about meeting the parents of the mare she loved that made her strangely uncomfortable. A thought crossed her mind, showing her what was just a little bit important. “Bon Bon, do they know about-”
She was interrupted by the sound of the trains brakes screeching. Immediately, all of the passengers stood up, loudly grabbing their bags and starting to exit the train.
“Let’s get going!” Bon Bon said excitedly, immediately standing up and getting caught in the flow of the ponies exiting the train.
“Us...” Lyra muttered, following Bon Bon in the direction of their home.
*** *** ***
“Now Derpy, I want you to go right to their home, got it? No getting sidetracked.”
Lyra watched as Bon Bon instructed Derpy, attempting to stifle her own laughter as the mare’s eyes looking in every direction that wasn’t Bon Bon.
“Derpy!” the earth pony said sternly, snapping Derpy out of her daze. “Were you even listening?”
The pegasus saluted. “I’ve got it, Bon Bon! You need me to take this letter home and get sidetracked!”
“Ye- no! Derpy, I need you to take the letter to my parent’s house and give it to them!”
Derpy stared at her for a moment with one eye, the other looking about. Lyra still stood to the side, doing her very best to suppress her laughter. The pegasus’ eye narrowed as if she was in deep concentration.
“Oh!” she finally said, a smile on her face. “You want me to take the letter to your parents! I thought you were giving really weird instructions before. That makes a whole lot more sense.”
Despite Lyra’s laughter, Bon Bon didn’t seem in the least bit amused. “Yes, Derpy. Can you do that?”
The pegasus tipped her hat. “They don’t give this mailmare’s outfit to just anypony. Only those that make the proper deposit. Of course I can! I’ll be over there as soon as possible,” she chirped happily, taking the letter from Bon Bon and tossing it into her mailbag. “I’ll be over there lickedy-split! They don’t call me ‘Lightning’ Hooves for nothing!”
“Uh, Derpy,” Lyra said, her laughter dying down. “Nopony calls you that.”
Derpy’s expression didn’t change. “Well, yeah! Isn’t that what I just said? They don’t call me ‘Lightning’ Hooves! I wish they would, though.”
Lyra passed her glance over to Bon Bon. She remained unamused. “Just bring my parents the letter, alright?”
The pegasus saluted, almost toppling over. Her wings flapped erratically until she finally found herself on her hooves once more. “You got it, Bon Bon. I won’t let you down.” With that, she turned and flapped awkwardly into the air, a couple of stray hairs left in her wake. Bon Bon sighed and shut the door.
“She may get the job done, but she will trip up every step of the way getting there,” the mare said, seemingly to herself. I hope she gets them the letter within the week at least.”
Her tripping up is exactly what I’m counting on, Lyra thought, mentally laughing maniacally. There’s no way that she’ll ever get that letter to Bon Bon’s parents. Then I’ll never have to meet them! It’s just perfect!
The plotting unicorn turned into her home and trotted to a nearby couch, plopping down on it. Yeah, this plan is flawless, she mused as her nefarious plot turned in her mind. Slowly, a realization dawned on her.
Except for the fact that Derpy has never failed a single delivery.
Her body bolted upright and she jumped to her hooves. Derpy has the best record of all of the mailponies! She brags about it all the time! Lyra kicked her hooves into gear, scrambling for the front door. She could not let Derpy deliver that letter; she could not have that meeting with Bon Bon’s parents that she feared for reasons she couldn’t explain. She didn’t even realize that she had rammed into her marefriend until her own forehead hit the ground. Lyra quickly picked herself up, rubbing her horn.
“Sorry, about that, Bon Bon. Gotta go!”
She tried to open the door with her magic, but found that her horn wouldn’t ignite. Her hoof reached out and pulled the door open, her other hooves immediately carrying her to the other side of it.
“Where are you-” Bon Bon began, but was cut off by the door slamming. Lyra, finally free from her home, immediately galloped down the road to get away from any of Bon Bon’s questions. Her eyes scanned the air, looking for a little grey dot floating along against a sea of blue. Finally, they came upon a figure, flapping in the distance. She was galloping at full speed in an instant, trying to catch up with the flying pegasus.
I should ask Bon Bon for a massage after this, she thought, taking in as much air as she could as she felt her muscles strain. She didn’t run much, and she was regretting it every step.
Finally, she was directly under the flying pony. Despite the fire in her lungs, she called out as loud as she could. “Derpy!” she yelled, hoping that the pegasus would somehow hear her. She just continued to fly. “Derpy!” she yelled again, feeling dismayed and wheezing a bit.
Lyra’s spirits perked as the pony looked down, but they dropped even lower when she saw that it was not, in fact, Derpy, but a grey pegasus stallion. “Sorry...” she said, letting her rear fall to the ground and watching as the pony fluttered on. She sat for a moment, pondering. That was it; she had failed.
“Hey, Lyra!” a familiar, upbeat voice called. The unicorn looked up to see Derpy, merrily trotting along, her mailbag in tow. “Wow, you’re really fast! You got to the water fountain before me!” The cheerful pegasus bent down and took a sip of water. “Maybe I should use my wings next time. Anyway, I’ll see you later, Lyra!”
The pegasus took off. Lyra sat there, watching. Waiting. Wondering.
Why am I not chasing after her? was what she wondered.
The out-of-breath unicorn hopped to her hooves and galloped with all of her strength, traveling noticeably slower than she was before. She was still gaining ground on this pegasus, who was merrily flapping along.
She opened her mouth to shout at her, but only a wheeze escaped her lips. What would I say anyway? she wondered. ‘Hey, give me that letter!’ probably won’t help. No, she had to come up with a plan. She had to be like Batmare.
“Derpy, look! A muffin!” she shouted with raspy breath. She could see the pegasus chuckle a little and continue on flying.
Damn, she thought as she continued to gallop as fast as her hooves could carry her. I guess those rumors that Derpy has an unquenchable desire for muffins aren’t true after all. I’ve got to think of something else.
Lyra’s head looked to her right and to her left, eventually coming upon a branch sticking out form a nearby tree. That’s it! I’ll run full speed into the branch and let it launch me into the air!
Her hooves skidded as she quickly changed direction, kicking dust into the air. She was travelling at full speed again, gunning straight for the branch that would send her to her target. The branch closed in, and she closed her eyes, preparing for the massive force that could only leave her sailing through the air. With her breath held, she slowly felt the rough bark come in contact with her fur.
Snap.
Lyra tumbled onto the ground, her hooves flailing wildly. Her body skidded across the grass, only to be stopped by a tree. She rubbed her head with a hoof before standing up and looking at the broken tree limb.
“You mean that doesn’t actually work?!” she yelled to nopony in particular.
She blinked, taking a deep breath, and the facehooved. That really was a stupid idea.
Her hooves sore, she trotted out of the wooded area and back to the road. Her eyes squinted, seeing that little speck of grey still flapping along. She debated giving up right then and there, but this was a mission that she couldn’t fail.
Despite the pain in her... everywhere, she forced her hooves to move forward. Her senses were dulled from the combination of her new exhaustion and the throbbing in her horn that was already there. Slowly but surely, she neared that little grey dot, heavily panting with each one of her painful steps.
Lyra looked around at the changing scenery, making note of the increasing amount of trees. That gives me an idea, the brilliant unicorn thought, pushing through her pain and discomfort and galloping full speed ahead.
She ran off of the road, running through the brush that barely qualified as a forest and dodging tiny sticks, blades of grass, and the occasional tree. After some time, she looked to her left to find that she was a good distance in front of Derpy. She put her amazing plan into action, climbing up the nearest tree, only to have it snap under her weight and leave her on the ground in pain. She couldn’t waste time being hurt, though; she pulled herself back up to regain the ground she had lost.
With all her might, she ran ahead of Derpy once more, this time keeping her eyes open for a tree that wasn’t a sapling. She spied a suitable candidate, and pulled herself up it with adrenaline-fueled skill. Using her momentum to jump, she flew off of the tree, right into Derpy’s flight path and perfectly replicating a move that she once saw in Batmare.
Just when she was about to make contact with the oblivious pegasus, Derpy dropped out of the sky for a soft landing. Lyra didn’t share the same fate and hit the ground with a thud, Derpy turning around to see her.
“Wow, Lyra!” she said happily. “I didn’t know that you did acrobatics! You’re a very talented pony, but you might want to work on your landings.” She smiled, but then turned away. “Gotta go! This mail won’t deliver itself!”
Lyra watched her trot, but only for a moment; in a flash, she jumped to her hooves, putting her last reserves of strength into catching up with her. She just had to get that letter.
Derpy looked back at her, grinned, and then quickened her pace. Shocked, Lyra ran harder, barely catching up with her, to which Derpy quickened again. “You’re going to have to try harder if you’re going to beat me in a race, Lyra!” she said gleefully.
That’s what this is to her? A game?! This isn’t some foal’s race! This is meeting Bon Bon’s parents! That was it; Lyra would have no more of her silly games.
She pounced on Derpy, tackling her to the ground and moving her hooves around her randomly, hoping that she would somehow gain access to her mailbag. The two rolled on the ground, each pushing against each other aggressively. Lyra grunted angrily while Derpy laughed like a school filly.
They tumbled until Lyra finally found that she couldn’t move anymore. The dust in her vision cleared slowly, eventually revealing that Derpy had her pinned to the ground. “That was really fun, Lyra!” she chirped, keeping her weight on her. “I didn’t know you liked wrestling too!”
The unicorn said nothing, giving up on struggling against Derpy’s weight and strength. Even worse, she gave up on her mission to retrieve the letter. Every move she made, Derpy was one step ahead. She had failed; she wasn’t Batmare.
Eventually, the pegasus hopped off of her. She flapped her wings, blowing all sorts of dirt off of her coat, but the majority of it still remaining. “That was really fun. We’ll definitely have to do it again sometime.” Derpy glanced up at the sun, seemingly unaware of Lyra’s real intentions. “I’d love to go for another round, but I’ve really got to deliver some mail. It’s getting late. Bye, Lyra!” With that, she began a slow trot down the path.
Lyra sat dumbfounded. She tried every trick in the book and still couldn’t beat her arch nemesis; she was not the superhero that she wanted to be. Well, there’s no point in staying on the ground, she thought, slowly bringing herself to her hooves. Her eyes inspected her body, not enjoying the sight of dirt, leaves, and some blood.
During her inspection, she noticed something out of the corner of her eye. It was something white. Turning her head, she could see that it also had a certain rectangular quality to it. Holding on to as much hope as she could, she trotted over to the object to see that it was in fact an envelope, face down in the dirt. She tried to ignite her horn, only to get a small spark. With a sigh, she picked it up with her hooves and flipped it over.
That’s my return address! she thought with a gasp, cheering inside her own mind. “Yes!” she shouted triumphantly, holding the letter in the air.
She had done it. She had won. She was Batmare.
I can’t wait to tell Bon Bon all about my victor- oh... I can’t really tell Bon Bon about this, can I? Her rear fell to the ground. Bon Bon will be really disappointed, won’t she? She could feel her spirits fall out of the sky. And she’ll be really hurt, she thought with a deep sigh.
“And Batmare doesn’t hurt the ponies she loves,” she said aloud.
I’m not Batmare. I’m not even like her! I’m like... like some sort of villain! she thought painfully, realising what she had done. And worse yet, I’m an awful marefriend. This is something Bon Bon wanted, and I just wanted to take that away from her. I’m terrible and selfish. She slowly fell onto her back. This is the worst plan I ever had and I can’t even fix it.
Her body bolted upright as a realization dawned on her. Wait, I can fix it! I just need to get this letter back to Derpy!
She would like to say that she immediately jumped to her hooves, but in reality it was an agonizing trip to a standing position. The unicorn focused on the letter, this time her horn sparking to life, her magical glow surrounding the envelope. It was only then that the pain of her injuries truly began to sink in. Lyra winced with each step and began to sweat from her magical exertion, but forced herself to push through it, finally getting her hooves to move at a canter.
Off in the distance, she saw a simple house sitting upon a hill, overlooking the trees in the area. On a path far in front of the house was that familiar grey dot, merrily skipping along the trail. Now that Lyra could see her goal, she just had to push herself to obtain it.
Each step was excruciating, but the pain was worth it if she had a chance to prevent herself from doing wrong by Bon Bon. With the letter in tow, she made her way down the path, grunting in pain until she was finally close enough to the pegasus. “Derpy!” she called hoping that she could make up some sort of excuse.
Derpy turned around, that smile still on her face. “I told you, Lyra. If you want to wrestle again, it will have to wait until later. I’ve got to deliver this letter.”
Lyra gulped. “Uh, yeah. You- you, uh, dropped this back there.” She levitated the envelope over to her, shaking off some of the dirt that was still on it. “I didn’t want you to lose it,” she added, forcing a smile.
Derpy raised an eyebrow, but then broke into a grin. “Thanks, Lyra! I appreciate it!” She took the letter in her mouth and merrily trotted up the path to what was presumably the home of Bon Bon’s parents.
Lyra sighed, turning around and examining herself; she was an absolute mess. She was covered in dirt, twigs, blood and leaves. She didn’t even want to imagine how awful her mane looked. She had no idea how she was going to explain this to Bon Bon; she questioned if she even wanted to explain anything at all. Maybe if she just didn’t mention it, her marefriend wouldn’t notice.
I’ll figure it out when it happens, she told herself. For now, I just need to get home,
*** *** ***
After spending a good thirty minutes under the water hose outside of her house, Lyra felt that she was finally ready to go inside. She opened the door and strode into her kitchen to find a worried Bon Bon tapping her hoof rapidly. Upon seeing her, the mare immediately hopped up and kissed her.
“Lyra, where have you been- and why does your mouth taste like dirt?”
Of all the places I forgot to wash. “Uhh...” Her ‘uhh’ lasted far longer than she would have liked. “I was out... wrestling.” It was the perfect excuse that wasn’t stretching the truth too much. “You know, getting some exercise. Working the old legs.”
Bon Bon’s gaze shifted down to Lyra’s legs and she gasped. “Is that blood?!”
“Uh, yeah, a little bit.”
“Oh, Lyra, what happened?”
“Derpy wrestles dirty,” she said automatically, mentally facehooving. Oh, good job, Lyra. Why don’t who just tell her the whole story while you’re at it?
Bon Bon just stared at her, her mouth agape. Lyra waited for her to say something, anything, but the mare continued to stare. Lyra didn’t like it. She didn’t like it one bit. She had to say something.
“Oh, and I’ve decided that I’m ready to meet your parents, and that I look forward to it.”
The earth pony’s facial drastically changed, a wide smile appearing on her face. “Really?!”
Lyra feigned confidence in her answer, deeply kissing Bon Bon. “Of course,” she said, breaking away. “I can’t wait.”
Bon Bon kissed her back, but it didn’t last nearly as long as the unicorn wanted it to. “Lyra?” she said with a small frown.
“Yes?”
“Please brush your teeth.”
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Oh Lyra. You silly pony.
Oh Lyra, you and your antics!.
Pony-God forbid you respond to something, even once, like a reasonable and rational pony.
And a tree branch? Really? Did you think it made from some ultra-dense plot-reinforced hypermaterial?
Yay For Update!
Yay For Depry Wrestling!
Yay For Lyra's Conscience Actually Working Well!
Yaaaaaaay
:D
2779519
Hey man, abusing the word yay is MY thing
Not your best chapter, especially in terms of pacing, but it raises a valid issue, and it is quite funny and fun to read. I'll consider it a filler, if you will.
2779988
That's exactly what it is. I just needed some silly jokes in the form of a chapter to show myself that I could write the story again. It's a chapter that's not necessary for the story, but necessary for me. Thanks for commenting!
2780011
Great.
Instructed.
2782005
Thanks, fixed.
A perfect excuse would have been that Lyra saw that Derpy dropped the letter and she went to give it back... But it wouldn't have been as funny as you did it!
*falls over laughing*
That was brilliant!
2779767
Sorry Mate, Let Me Try Again.
Update! Rippa!
Depry Wrestling! You Beauty!
Lyra's Conscience Actually Working Well! Bloody Brilliant
That Better Mate?
2779988
I found the pacing bad as well. And the detail. It seemed like a blurry dream. Or watching a really scratched up movie. Or not being able to get the rabbit ears positioned right, causing a fuzzy picture. Felt off to me.
2842485
I found it bad too. It's like the author just started typing random words until they barely resembled a story. Hopefully he's set a goal to do better with the next chapter. He needs to remember how to write.
2842485
Well, we all have 'strong' chapters and 'weak' chapters. 'Weak' chapters only put emphasis on the strong ones.
2842510
But isn't he on a mission from Celestia Herself to find a perfect butt? Also, sorry I dropped out yesterday. I literally fell asleep in the chair.
2842553
He's probably at work right now to help fund that mission. Shh...
And that's completely fine. You seemed pretty tired.
2842588
Yeah, and I also have to fly to America overnight...
2842633
Excuses, excuses.
Good, I can finally slap you so hard it'll feel like you kissed a frieght train.
2842510
We must rally together to stop this from happening again. This author must be stopped! What say you?!
2843760
Let's get him. I know where he lives.
2843760
2843767
Guyse, I'm on my way to the airport to the enigmatic land of 'Murica, where I hear he lives. You have my sword.
2843781
2843760
And Octavia's bow.
derpicdn.net/media/W1siZiIsIjIwMTIvMDgvMTYvMjJfMzRfMjhfNTY1Xzc2MDk1X19VTk9QVF9fc2FmZV9vY3RhdmlhX2FydGlzdF9tZXRhZHJhZ29uYXJ0X2FyY2hlcnkiXV0/76095__safe_octavia_bow_skyrim_arrow_artist-colon-metadragonart_archery_forsworn.jpg
2843804
Yes.
2843781
2843804
And Nikki Sixx's axe.
2843842
I wouldn't mind Veronica's power fist. And... her... um... Just Veronica.
2843868
Veronica's awesome. Got in a fight with a few deathclaws. She tore them new assholes. And he lines are fucking funny as all hell. If Boone wasn't soooooooo OP, she would still be with me (actually, I have been trying to do his mission but it keeps freezing on the third wave and I haven't switched back yet).
Unrelated note, she is one of the two gay companions... don't know why I had to say that.
2863238
Glad I could make you laugh. And yes, you have my permission to say that.
Best fic I read so far.
Not enough sexual innuendos from any pony this chapter bro I dident cry from laughing this time!
And so begins the time where I wait for the next chapter. Really enjoyed the story thus far, Bonbon is so damn adorable. I'd try to point out mistakes but writing has always been my weakest area so blargh. Hope to see more soon.
Absolutely adore this story! I can't wait till the next chapter comes out! One of the best Lyra x Bon-bon stories I have ever read.
I'm missing the updates. I've really been looking forward to seeing where this story goes.
4089642
I am too. I've been unfortunately busy lately. As soon as I have something solid worked out, I'll post it.
It'd be nice to see this updated more! It seems to be going along pretty well.
I enjoy the pacing, the story isn't exactly all about romance, but all the little nuisances that come with it as well.
I never give a full review until a story says 'completed'.
After this I'm going to be reading Uniformity... Because I'm wanting to see different Lyras atm.
4177110
Thank you for continually sharing your thoughts! I appreciate that. Hopefully I'll be able to update this story soon, though I've been saying that for a while.
4178708 It would be nice to see a new chapter or two, and about me sharing my thoughts, don't thank me... I dread the day when I don't speak my mind, because at that point I might be running around (not really) killing people, if I can't speak my mind then I may as well not have one hmm? On that note I'm sure if you're busy or if you just don't want to then we'll be fine with it, one can't force a good story, and if it is forced it's easy to tell that it was~
5053544 Oh, dear!
2843902 You know, reading this comment made me want to go get Boone, but I remembered that Cass was gonna leave me, so I took her to the Van Graffs. So I decided that I wouldn't have a partner unless it's part of a quest. Because I end up killing them...
Who wants cupcakes?
Awwww... seven months later and still no updates.
Is this story dead?
5117430
considering the author hasn't logged on in 23 weeks, the answer is looking grim.
4860563
I wish I couldn't sympathize with this as well as I can. But, sadly, the fact remains that I have the same problem.
derpicdn.net/img/2013/4/11/294318/large.png
I have to say, i was actually just looking for a clopfic abd this had the sex tag so i clicked it. I was surprised by the first chapter but than red the second one...now ive finished it in a day...this was really f#cking good