The Gunslinger who saved Christmas

by Trigger_Finger

Snowball fight

The tension could literally be felt in the air as Luna starred coldly at Jack. “OH-IT-IS-ON” Luna said in a playfully dark voice and lept through the air, tackling Jack onto the snowy ground outside. Jack rolled to the side and lept off Luna and packed another snowball but Luna used her magic to her advantage and as Jack turned to throw the snowball at Luna he was greeted by the sight of literally 100 snowballs as they pummeled his body relentlessly.

“SNOWBALL FIGHT” Pinkie screamed and immediately joined the fight, getting some odd contraption that acted like an automatic catapult, launching snowballs like a machinegun. Jack rolled to one side and dodged a barrage of snowballs Luna threw at him. Suddenly a heap of snowballs buried Luna.

Jack looked just in time to roll out of the way as a barrage of snow flew at him. Luna burst from the snow and looked to Pinkie then to Jack. “Enemy of my enemy” Jack said and they both gave a truce nod and darted in separate directions in a pincer movement and launched snowballs at Pinkie and her automatic catapult.

As the fight raged on several ponies looked fearfully out the window to see the princess of the night playing joyfully in the snow. Several ponies joined in the snowball fight and snowballs were hurtled left, right and center.

Jack got slammed in the head by a snowball and looked to see Applejack smile, he lept to the side as she tossed more snowballs at him. He ducked behind a snow pile as Applejack tossed snowballs at him. He grunted to himself and packed together multiple snowballs and lept over the snow pile to see that the southern pony was no longer there.

His senses blared and he ducked as a snowball flew past the air above him, where his head had been only moments ago. He turned to see the orange pony snickering as she tossed another snowball at Jack who dodged it with utmost profession, ‘Guess 007 never thought about snow conditions’ Jack thought to himself as he felt the wetness of the snow seep through his suit.

Applejack grabbed for another snowball but realized she was out. Jack snickered and tossed a snowball which impacted on her chest. Jack turned his attention to Pinkie as she launched a barrage of snow at him, he lept through the air and tackled Applejack out of the way.

“Yah know yah don’t have tah be so dramatic? It’s just a snowball fight” Applejack laughed and Jack nodded, “We have an automatic catapult to take over” Jack laughed and Applejack gave him a look of curiosity. “Weren’t we just fighting?” Applejack reminded Jack and he simply shrugged. “Consider it a temporary truce” he told her and they both got up and charged head on towards Pinkie’s snowball catapult machine.

As Applejack and Jack charged past groups who threw snowballs at each other they leaned down and each of them curled up a single snowball. “Only one shot” Jack said, Applejack rolled her eyes.

Time seemed to slow for that sort of dramatic effect and in the distance, or rather 5 feet away from them, ponies threw snowballs and were struck by snowballs. Pipsqueak tossed a snowball at Rarity but it was grabbed mid-flight by her magic and redirected back towards him. It hit Pipsqueak center mass and he made an epic fall and landed in front of Jack’s path.

Jack lept over Pipsqueak’s body and continued on. Pinkie laughed hysterically as her automatic catapult launched a continuous barrage of snowballs. Applejack and Jack bother lept over the sides of the catapult and tossed snowballs into Pinkie who cried out in laughter.

Time seemed to return to normal as Pinkie Pie rolled on the ground as she continued to laugh in the pure ecstasy of fun. “Sometimes I worry about that mare’s well-being” Jack commented and Applejack nodded “We all do”.

Twilight got a mischievous smile on her face and launched a large cloud of fluffy snow into the air, almost like a smokescreen (or snowscreen). She ran through the snowscreen and lept over snow banks as she charged towards Rainbow Dash who was dominating on her turf.

Rainbow Dash laughed as Sweetie Bell and Applebloom created snowballs which Rainbow Dash as Scootaloo tossed at incredibly high rates. It was almost comical.

“Oh no, Scootaloo look out, it’s Twilight” Sweetie Bell called out and Scootaloo looked to Twilight who was charging straight for them. Scootaloo tapped Rainbow Dash on the shoulder and the 2 Pegasus began to launch a barrage of snowballs at Twilight, but she blocked the barrage with a shield spell.

“Hey… that’s not fair” Rainbow Dash called out but suddenly Twilight grasped the stockpile of snowballs with her magic and turned them against their creators. Rainbow Dash gulped “Oh this is not good”.

Snow literally covered them as Twilight covered them with snowballs. Rainbow Dash’s head poked out of the snow pile, “Oh I’m gonna sooo get that mare” she scowled.

Twilight brushed off her hooves, proud of her work. Suddenly a snowball hit her in the side of the face and she turned to her aggressor. “Face me, student of Celestia” Luna challenged in a playful tone. “Oh you are on Princess of the night” Twilight said, accepting the challenge.

Twilight tossed clumps of snow at Luna but she flipped through the air and took flight, using her own magic, Luna launched a barrage of snowballs at Twilight. Twilight lept to one side and slid along the slippery ground and slid to a stop, snow fluffing up like dust.

“Give up Twilight, for you are a student and I am a master” Luna laughed and tossed more snow at Twilight but Twilight grabbed the snow from her magical grasp and launched the snow back at her. Luna dive bombed for the ground and landed on the snowy ground blissfully.

Snow had begun to accumulate on her back and she shook like a dog to fluff the snow off. The classic tune ‘Let it snow’ began to play in the background as the group continued their snowball fight. Snow still poured down from the sky and the streets outside Sugarcube corner were illuminated by streetlamps as the group playfully fought in the snow.

Jack looked up to see Twilight and Luna battling. Jack raced up beside Twilight and tossed a snowball at Luna who dodged it. “I thought you were on my side” Luna gasped and Jack chuckled “In snowball fights there are no sides” Jack told her but as he did he gave her a wink. A mischievous smile formulated on her face and the two began to launch snowballs at each other. “Twilight, go around and hit her from the rear” Jack told he but just as she spun around Jack grabbed her and lifted her body in front of his. “Double agent” Twilight scoffed as she realized she had been tricked. “The name’s Bond, James Bond” Jack laughed, trying to do his best James Bond impersonation.

“Your name is Jack” Twilight told him and Jack sighed as Luna threw a snowball at Twilight who was being held in place by Jack. At the last possible second Twilight used a teleportation spell to teleport away and the snowball smacked Jack in the face.

Jack grunted and wiped the snow from his face, he looked to the side as Twilight called out to her friends. Luna and Jack backed into each other as the element bearers surrounded them, well minus Fluttershy, she had been hiding behind a snow bank the entire fight.

“Back to back” Jack told Luna and she lept up onto her hind legs and the duo locked their arms together. “Wait… bad idea, how are we supposed to make snowballs?” Jack asked. “Just kick the snow, I’ll make it into a snowball mid-flight” Luna informed him and the duo began kicking snow at the element bearers and as she said she would, Luna began to form the flying clumps of snow into snowballs mid-flight.

Snowballs flew through the air and collided with their targets, Pinkie got her contraption running again and launched a large barrage of snowballs at Luna and Jack and it resulted in them being buried in a heap of snow.

Jack muttered something to himself that kind of sounded like “Stupid catapult” but his voice was muffled by all the snow. Luna tilted her head back so her mouth wasn’t buried in the snow, “Hold on to me” Luna ordered and Jack rolled his eyes and gave a muffled response as Luna performed the teleportation spell and transported them both out of the snow pile.

The element bearers were all looking at the snow pile where they thought that Luna and Jack were still buried under. “Should we get them out?” Rarity asked and Rainbow Dash laughed “Nah let’s leave em in there for a little while longer” she chuckled and Luna and Jack created a small stock pile of snowballs as the element bearers continued to look at the snow pile.

“Well I guess it’s been long enough, let’s unbury them” Twilight said and the group let down their guard to unbury the empty pile. “Hey Twi” Jack called out and the group turned to see Luna and Jack standing with a large barrage of snowballs. “Uh-oh” Rarity gulped and Luna and Jack launched the barrage of snow at them.

The fight only lasted a few minutes longer before ponies started to get wet and travel inside Sugarcube corner to dry off and warm up. Jack sat against the wall of Sugarcube and sighed. Luna sat beside him “That was fun… I enjoyed it” Luna said, saying I instead of we. Jack nodded “Well, I guess we should go inside and cause some more havoc” Jack chuckled and stood up and shook off the snow on his suit.

As they entered inside the group looked to Luna and the party became quiet again. Jack sighed to himself then looked up at the group. The group suddenly began to cheer and Jack was flushed with relief as Luna walked over and began socializing with ponies.

Jack sat across the room, by himself because that’s the way he liked to be at parties. Rarity walked over to him, “I have your clothes ready and clean back at the boutique so when you’re ready just stop by and pick them up… oh for Celestia’s sake I thought I told you not to ruin this suit” Rarity giggled and walked off back to the crowd.

“So princess tell us what it’s like being a princess” Rainbow Dash suggested and Luna began her tale about the regular everyday life of a princess.

Jack sat alone and pulled out a pack of cigarettes but looked to them with disgust, they were soggy and wet due to the snowball fight. “Well I guess I better start quitting now” Jack said and tossed the cigarettes into the garbage and instead took a breath mint.

The conversations went on and the shy Pegasus known as Fluttershy approached Jack as he sat and muttered to himself. “Hello Jack… uhm beautiful evening” Fluttershy commented, obviously trying to make small talk. She was terribly shy and was never good at talking with Jack. “Yeah… it really is something isn’t it” Jack replied, “Uhm so… any plans for the holiday?” Fluttershy asked and Jack pointed over his shoulder to Luna.

“Got orders to show Luna the holiday festivities and what not” Jack replied and Fluttershy nodded. “How about you?” Jack asked and she shied away from comment and blushed “Oh well… I uhm was just going to spend Christmas with my friends” Fluttershy stuttered shyly.

Suddenly some classy jazz music played and ponies began to dance. “Oh… excuse me Jack, but I love this song” Fluttershy told him and got up and walked over to Rarity and the 2 began to dance along with the others. Jack sat by himself and poured himself a cup of hot chocolate and sighed as he watched the snow fall beautifully to the ground.

“Now imagine if there was a tiny civilization on one of those snowflakes” Jack chuckled. Suddenly Luna tapped Jack on the shoulder and Jack turned to look at her. “What’s up kid?” Jack asked and Luna extended her hoof. “What? You want me to hold your hoof again or something?” Jack asked curiously. Luna stuttered at first but then managed to put together a sentence.

“Would you dance with me… there is no-pony else to dance with” Luna asked, Jack leaned back and saw several ponies sitting on the sides. He leaned forward again and sighed as he stood up. “Alright… we’ll dance, but just one song” Jack said and the duo went to the dance floor and began to slow dance. ‘Man this is too… romantic’ Jack thought to himself.

As the night went on Jack lost count of how many songs he danced to with Luna, each time just saying to himself ‘One more couldn’t hurt’. Ponies began to head home and soon the crowd had shrunk to a few idle ponies. “Hey Jack heads up” Pinkie yelled and Jack looked to her with a confused look.

She rolled her eyes and pointed upwards, above his head hung a mistletoe. “Uhm I don’t really know what to say” Jack replied as he looked down to Luna who at the moment had her forelegs wrapped around his neck. She looked up to him and fluttered her eyes. “Well don’t you know? You have to kiss her silly” Pinkie Pie called out and Jack blushed, he had considered Luna cute (for a horse, or pony or whatever) but this was borderline for him.

Luna leaned closer towards him and closed her eyes and Jack looked side to side for a good excuse to not kiss her. Suddenly the lights cut out and the music stopped. ‘Whew saved by the bell, or rather the power outage’ Jack thought to himself and Luna removed her forelegs from around his neck and dropped down to all fours. A dark purple haze filled the room and blackish smoke seeped along the ground.

A guitar solo could be heard as a dark cloaked figure stepped forward and a reddish horn illuminated the room. Purple smoke emulated from his eyes, his mane was a jet black and his fur coat was dark grey. “Fear me, for I am King Sombra” he hissed and the guitar played a low note. Jack looked over to the pony who had constantly followed him around and made epic musical notes that corresponded perfectly with the moments. “Hold that thought” Jack said and raced into a back closet.

Seconds later he returned with a Mexican sombrero and an accordion. He placed the sombrero on Sombra’s head and raced over to the guitarist and whispered something in his ear. Jack then stood back. “1, 2, 3, 4” Jack said and they began to play Mexican mariachi music. Sombra roared at the obvious insult, tossing the hat away and stomping his hooves to the ground. “SILENCE” Sombra roared and Jack and the guitarist stopped.

A hologram image of northern Equestria was brought up via magic from Sombra’s horn. “I have recently taken over the northern pole and this year there shall be no Hearth’s warming” Sombra laughed and as the group watched the hologram. They all gasped as a black cloud loomed over the North Pole and melted away the snow. “By Hearth’s warming everything will be covered in darkness and there shall be no presents and no Hearth’s warming” he informed them then let out a maniacal laugh.