The Gunslinger who saved Christmas

by Trigger_Finger

A trip to the North Pole

Jack flicked the light on and his shabby little shack lit up. “Uhm… nice place” Luna said, obviously lying to cover up how hideous it was. “Yeah I know right, real mansion, anyway I got some things I need in the basement” Jack muttered and rolled up the carpet. “There’s a basement in this house?” Luna asked and Jack nodded.

Jack pulled out a crowbar and broke open the floor boards. “Just what in Celestia’s name do you think you’re doing” Luna gasped as Jack continued to sever the floor boards. “Well Celestia wasn’t too keen on letting random ponies own firearms and well let’s just say she’d probably throw me in prison for longest time if she ever found out what I had in my basement so I covered up my basement before any-pony found out what was down there… never really contemplated digging it up but with things the way they are…” Jack trailed off as he got the final floor board off revealing just plain dirt ground.

Jack pulled out a small shovel and dug 3 feet down until his shovel hit a metallic object. Jack swept away any loose dirt and revealed a security safe door, like on a bank. Jack dialed in a combination and pulled the door open. He hopped into the basement safe room, or whatever it was, and looked up to Luna.

“Hey pass me a light” Jack called out but instead Luna fluttered down and illuminated the room with her horn. She gasped at the sight, the room wasn’t extensively large but the contents were breathtaking. “Where… where did you get all this?” Luna asked and Jack shrugged, “Well when I first came to Equestria they were already producing small firearms but rather ineffective ones: cannons, muzzle loaders etc. so all I did was use a little common knowledge and showed them how to produce these sort of firearms” Jack replied and Luna levitated out an M16 an looked at it curiously.

“The designs came from my world and didn’t quite work well with ponies, except unicorns, so we had to redesign them but I made sure that they produced some rifles that I could use” Jack replied and pulled out a large duffle bag. “If you see on you like feel free to take it” Jack told her and he began tossing Desert Eagle magazines into the bag along with .45 magazines and .357 rounds.

Luna browsed the selection of guns but couldn’t find one that fit her fancy. Jack looked at a set of S&W 500 magnums and sighed as he grabbed the massive revolvers and extra ammunition, tossing them into the bag. Jack browsed the rifle selection, he contemplated between the AK47 and the M16. “Hmm, M16 has accuracy but it might jam during the fight, were the AK47 has the durability and reliability but is heavier and less accurate…” Jack muttered to himself but then his attention was drawn away.

“Ohhh baby… it’s like Christmas but Santa is giving me everything I want” Jack said as he walked up beside a table. On the table laid a classic M60 machine gun, though the gun itself weighed around 25 pounds Jack didn’t care in the least. He grabbed the machinegun and slung it on his back and grabbed ten, 100 round link feeds and placed them in the duffel bag.

He only needed a shotgun, or maybe a very effective submachine gun. He looked to his Mossberg which he had collected at Rarity’s but knew that 4 shots would probably be terribly ineffective in combat. He browsed through the Benelli M4s but figured them to be ‘not his style’ and continued on.

He wanted something that could stop a pony dead, or rather knock Sombra on his ass. He sighed to himself but then remembered one specific shotgun that always had a special place in his heart, despite weighing a near 9 pounds and being just a tad bit bulky. He walked over to a rack of shotguns and pulled out a classic Spas 12 and racked the slide back.

The gun still actioned like it was brand new and, despite some dust build up, was perfectly clean. Jack had replaced the lever safety with a button safety, it had an 8 round tubular magazine, a collapsible metallic folding stock and barrel heat guard. Jack grabbed a loaded bandolier of shotgun shells and tossed them in his bag along with the shotgun.

He grabbed 2 old styled ballistic vests with heavy Kevlar plates, ‘shit, these things must weigh 50 pounds’ Jack thought as he tossed it into the bag as well. “Find anything you like?” Jack asked out loud, “Nothing yet” Luna replied. Jack tossed some other items into the bag and browsed around the room a little longer.

He walked to corner were Luna was browsing through the heavy machine guns. She turned and looked to an object that was covered by a blanket and walked over with the utmost curiosity. Pulling off the blanket revealed the object to be an M134 Gatling gun, a sly smile tugged on the end of her lips and she levitated out the machine gun and rotated the barrels, the gun cocked and Luna looked to Jack with her sly smile.

“Oh please, can we please have it” Luna begged as her eyes formed into puppy dog eyes and she began to pout. “That is so you” Jack said and rolled his eyes “But you’re carrying that thing around” Jack replied and grabbed the ammunition feeder box, his duffel bag and led Luna out of the basement room.

Jack closed the safe door and covered the hole in but didn’t bother putting the floorboards back in. “Where to now?” Luna asked and Jack chuckled, “The garage” Jack laughed and turned off the light in his garage, leading Luna out of the shack and towards a small garage.

Jack lifted the front sliding door and turned on a single light bulb in the middle of the small garage. In the garage sat an old 1979 Ford Bronco, “What is that?” Luna asked and Jack shrugged. “It’s an automobile… actually it’s a truck” Jack said as he pulled off the box cover, revealing that the back seats had been taken out and an M2 heavy machine gun had been mounted on a pivotal mount.

“I got a motorized carriage manufacturer to build me it, replaced the metal body with bullet proof material, 460 big block with supercharger, basically… she’s the whole 9 yards” Jack said as he lifted some gasoline jerry cans into the back. Jack leaned into the truck and turned the ignition but it only turned over, almost starting but not quite making it. “Dammit” Jack cursed. He hopped in the truck and pumped the accelerator pedal a few times then tried starting it again.

The truck roared to life and Jack leaned back with a sly smile and revved the truck. “Where are we going?” Luna asked and Jack chuckled “Why isn’t it obvious? To the North Pole of course” Jack laughed, ‘Hmm that line seems vaguely familiar’ Jack thought to himself.

“But our sister ordered us to stay here” Luna reminded him and Jack sighed. “Are you really going to follow every order your sister gives you?” Jack asked and Luna nodded. Jack gave an irritated sigh “Well… grow some balls already and let’s go” Jack groaned but Luna was taken back by the comment. “We beg your pardon” Luna gasped, “Oh sorry… I didn’t mean grow and actual pair of… forget it just hop in” Jack replied but Luna stepped back.

“Oh come on… it’ll be fun” Jack offered but Luna shook her head again. Jack tried to give her the puppy dog eye treatment but he wasn’t very cute and was unable to appeal to Luna. “Luna… oh come on, let’s adventure together, like Daring Do and… whoever the hell she had for a sidekick” Jack said and Luna sighed. “We are sorry Jack but we will not go against our sisters wishes” Luna replied.

Funny that only the other day he didn’t want Luna coming with him, but now he was trying his hardest to get her to come with him. Jack stepped out of the truck, he walked over to her.

“Luna please… I could probably do this on my own but…I want you to come with me” Jack said but Luna stepped back and again shook her head. Jack sighed and walked back towards the truck. “Well see you later Luna” Jack replied, turning off the shop light as he hopped in the truck and drove it out of the garage. “Hey wait… you can’t leave us here, Celestia said to watch over me” Luna called out and Jack put the truck into neutral and stopped the truck. Looking out the door window he called back “Yeah but you didn’t want to come with me so I’m leaving you here” Jack told her with a straight face.

“You wouldn’t” Luna exclaimed and Jack shrugged, “I would, and I’m going to. See yah later” Jack said but Luna rushed up to the side of the truck, opening the passenger door and hopping in the seat across from Jack. “Thought you weren’t coming” Jack teased and Luna rolled her eyes, “Yes well… You were leaving and you said you would take us with you on your holiday. So I’m coming with you” Luna replied.

“Ha ha, reverse phycology” Jack laughed as he pulled the truck away from the garage. “Reverse what?” Luna asked and Jack shrugged, “You didn’t want to go so I said you weren’t going and because of that you wanted to go” Jack laughed and Luna shook her head. “That’s not why I went” Luna replied and Jack looked to her “Yeah then why’d you go?” Jack asked and she simply shrugged “Because you were going and we aren’t going to let you go anywhere without us” Luna replied.

Jack opened the glove box, revealing a bunch of old records that he had various musical ponies play in rip off of the music that was played back on earth. Jack looked to Luna, “How far is the North Pole?” he asked and Luna shrugged, “We’ll be there tomorrow morning at about…” Luna trailed off and looked at the digital clock on the radio of the truck and made a quick mental calculation “About 10am tomorrow morning, but it’ll still be dark because not much sun shines up there”

* * *

Jack drove most of the way but part way through he taught Luna how to drive, which she enjoyed somewhat but obviously found it somewhat difficult. He pulled the truck over and got out. “What are you doing?” Luna asked and Jack looked back to her, “Taking a leak” Jack replied and let out a chuckle as he unzipped his pants and began to piss into the snow. “Hey Luna, watch this I’ll write my name in the snow” Jack said immaturely and began to write his name using his urine.

“J…A… C…K… Hahaha” Jack laughed and Luna landed beside him. Luna turned around and lifted her leg, “oh come on that’s… weird” Jack replied and Luna looked to him with a curious look “why? You asked us to watch you while you urinated and you say it’s strange for us to?” Luna asked and Jack thought about it for a moment, he wasn’t quite sure why he was uncomfortable with Luna taking a leak beside him, perhaps it was because she was female or maybe the fact that she was a talking horse.

Luna finished and looked to her handy work “Haha, the fun has been doubled” she laughed and Jack shuddered at the comment and hopped back in the truck along with Luna. They drove a while longer before they saw large factory complex in the distance.

Luna pointed to the factory, “That’s the Magical Mare’s toy making factory… if Sombra has taken over than he’ll most definitely have spread his darkness in there… we must save the elves” Luna replied. Jack got up and crawled into the back of the truck. He opened the duffel bag.

He locked a 100 round box magazine onto the .50 cal. M2 mounted onto the truck. He placed the large ballistic vest over his duster coat and placed the shotgun bandolier over top of it. Pulling out his Spas 12, he loaded it with 8 rounds and strapped it to his side. He loaded both the .500 S&Ws and placed them in the chest holsters of the combat vest. He loaded two .50 cal. Desert Eagles with chrome finishes and placed them in shoulder holsters. He put two large K-bar knives into chest sheaths, located below the revolvers, then grabbed a sheath and strapped it to his lower leg and placed his foot long bowie knife in the sheath.

He hooked up multiple frag grenades in chest mounts on the ballistic vest. Cocking a fresh feed belt into the M60, he leaned the massive machinegun over his shoulder and looked to Luna. “You drive” Jack said and Luna pointed at herself. “You want us to drive?” Luna asked and Jack nodded “Yeah I trust yah” Jack replied and Luna gave him a heartwarming smile. “You’ve only known us for a day… you know that right?” Luna said and Jack simply shrugged, “Yeah well… whatever it only takes a day to get to know someone” Jack said as he grabbed a certain cassette and placed it in the radio.

The tunes of ‘Paint it black’ began to play and Jack leaned up against the mounted machine gun as Luna pressed the accelerator to the floor, the trucks massive engine roared and got the attention of guards at the factory gates. Jack smiled and cocked the machinegun. The 2 shadow guards, obviously Sombra’s henchmen lifted their assault rifles and pointed them at the oncoming truck.

I see a red door and I want it to painted black

No colours anymore I want them to turn black…

Comments

[Disponu]

Paint it black is a perfect song for this situation. I love how you put lyrics at the end of the chapter. I'd say yould have to be my favorite author on fimfiction.

[Trigger_Finger]

1846287 OH SNAP, YEAH BUDDY, yo D thanks man, that means alot I read that and I was liek YEEEEAAAH. Oh buddy this is going in things to remeber. Yeah when I was writing the end of this chapter I searched for like an hour for a suitable song, listen to Fortunate son, freebird, house of the rising sun, big guns basically all the classics that kicked ass anyway I'd sit there listen to the track and picture it with that song going and I figure Paint it black was the best one, glad you agree

[Disponu]

I'm serious, your stories kick ass. So, when your done this Wadda ya gonna do.

[Trigger_Finger]

1846691 Have christmas with my family, screw around then finsih my other story, Predator: Equestria. It's a combonation of Mlp and the movie predator then I'll start another story about Pipsqueak the pirate or something, all while I somehow manage out my daily life schedule, working and what not.