Cultural Artifacts - Around the Whirled for Eighty Days
Dan's Comments
DISCLAIMER: My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro, Inc.
Day 80
It was a dark and stormy night. Derpy and Cadence were `actively restrained` from 'fixing' it, the crops needed the rain and the fixed nitrogen caused by the lightning, and even the weather experts could tell the storm would be down to occasional drizzles by sunrise. While it promised to be a gloomy day, it would mirror the attitude of most of the citizenry. In the tower, there were a lot of raised eyebrows and mares walking funny with very goofy grins at breakfast.
The vote was in the early morning, and nobody was happy. Most of the Crystal Ponies weren't Crystal, as they walked through the drizzle and glimpses of sunshine into 'the Tower'. Most reflected that at least the various governmental factions had instantly agreed calling it 'Sombra's Palace' had to stop.
The public throne room and the galleries there were filled with VIPs and the delegates, so the average ponies who came, climbed the stairs to Sombra's actual throne room. Discord had installed a guard rail around the stairs, then doubled their width and installed a second guard rail on the enhanced-width stairs. At the Big Guy's urging, he'd included signs saying 'except for emergencies inner stairs are up, outer stairs are down.' Most of the ponies ascended the inner stairs and could watch the proceedings projected on the inner column around which the stairs wound. Everyone wanted everyone to see these proceedings.
In the VIP section, Pinkie Pie, Applejack and Applebloom waited, along with a nondescript white pony with a handlebar moustache and a derby, and a dark blue pony with a monocle, van dyke and a top hat and tails.
The leaders came in, one at a time through different entrances. Surrounded by groups of ponies and a few others, they took seats amid the delegates' areas. Some pointedly sat between certain groups, linking them, or trying to broker a reproachment. Nervous glances seemed the greeting of the day.
Luna ascended the dias that had replaced Sombra's throne, and gaveled the meeting to order. It didn't take much, silence reigned with the first stroke.
"The suspense is terrible," Discord whispered to the bederbied and top-hatted ponies, "I hope it'll last." He ignored their frowns, and grinned at the smiles from Applejack and Pinkie Pie. Some distance away, Tom hovered, watching the proceedings.
"For position of Speaker of the House, I now open the floor for nominations," Luna said, at his raised hoof, Luna nodded to Hay Rake, "The Chair recognizes Hay Rake."
"I would like to put in nomination, Chateau Vin, for Speaker of the House," the farmer said, and practically dropped back into his chair.
"Second," Cadence said almost immediately.
Vladimir signaled for attention.
"Colonel Vladimir is recognized," Luna said.
"I would like to move that nominations be closed," Vladimir said.
"Second," Shining Armor said.
There were harsh murmurings from the crowd, and the gallery.
Discord watched all the ponies with undiminished glee. A fact not lost on several ponies in close proximity to him.
"It has been moved and seconded that nominations be closed, all those in favor say 'Aye'," Luna said.
It was very clear the Ayes outnumbered everything else.
"Opposed?" Luna asked more for the form of the thing rather than meaningful opposition.
"Nay," the Big Guy said, which nearly had Discord busting his slats.
"He said 'neigh'," Discord whispered and began silently writhing with laughter.
"Motion carries." Luna ignored the one-draconequus, granny-knot tying contest, and moved on. "For the nomination of Chateau Vin for Speaker of the House, all in favor raise a hoof." Luna counted. "Opposed?" She counted again. "The 'Ayes' have it. While not technically correct, I am going to retain the moderatorship of this meeting." She nodded to the newly-elected Speaker. "With the Speaker's permission of course."
On being poked by several ponies around him, Vladimir not the least of them, Chateau stood, returned a more formal bow. "You have it," he literally squeaked, before dropping heavily into his seat.
Luna merely raised an eyebrow and banged the gavel. "I will have order in the gallery, or I'll have it cleared."
Discord sobered, gave Luna a nod and a wink, and returned to his seat, floating slightly above the gallery.
"Have you ever seen Discord go to the bathroom?" Pinkie Pie asked as she looked up.
Several snorts among those in earshot answered her, as well as a few ponies deploying their umbrellas.
Luna decided that was all the order she was going to get, and proceeded, "Opening nominations for the post of Prime Minister. Yes, Derpy." Luna called on the pegasus hovering a few feet over the crowd thrusting a foreleg in the air.
"I would like to put in nomination, Will 'o Wisp, for Prime Minister," Derpy said, and settled gently back into her chair.
"Second," Ham n' Cheese said.
Tom signaled for attention.
"Tom is recognized," Luna said.
"I would like to move that nominations be closed," Tom said.
"Second," the Big Guy said.
The murmurings from the crowd and the gallery were worried.
Whatever Discord was humming, it seemed to evoke waves of flying pegasi geared for war. He glanced over and whispered, "I love the smell of napalm in the morning." He went back to humming while the ponies looked worriedly at each other. Except for Pinkie Pie, Applejack and Applebloom who seemed to have caught Discord's attitude that this was not the verge of a bloody civil war.
"It has been moved and seconded that nominations be closed, all those in favor say 'Aye'," Luna said.
It was again very clear the Ayes outnumbered everything else.
"Opposed?" Luna asked, pro forma.
"Nay," the Vladimir said.
"Motion carries." Luna glanced around. "For the nomination of Will 'o Wisp for Prime Minister, all in favor raise a hoof." Luna counted. "Opposed?" She counted again. "The 'Ayes' have it." She noted that Will o' Wisp and Chateau Vin stood after glancing at each other. "The Chair recognizes Will 'o Wisp and Chateau Vin, and calls upon the body as a whole to render acclamation."
The Ponies stood and stamped their hooves and cheered. The cheers and stomping from the other gallery could be felt even here.
"Thank you, Chair and our fellow delegates. As a point of order, I would like to entertain a motion to retain Celly as Sergeant of Arms and our Chair Luna as the deputy in that post," Will o' Wisp said.
"The Speaker seconds," Chateau Vin said.
"It isn't exactly protocol, but we're developing that as we go," Luna said, "However, the motion must be moved first, then seconded."
"Then I, so move," Chateau said.
"Second," Sapphire said.
"Any opposed?" Luna asked and watched as silence reigned. "Motion carries. Sergeant at Arms, do your duty."
Celly nodded. Suddenly there were squawks of alarm from the gallery and among the delegates. In all, 18 ponies were hauled into the air and held together in a bubble of force. Discord left the galleries to join the delegates.
An instant later, the vastly different appearances of those in the bubble faded and they were all revealed to be blue-veined, green ponies.
"Tear Twirler," Trixie said from her position among the delegates.
The myriad poniods looked at Trixie. "How?"
"Please," Discord said as he orbited the bubble, "When you started pouring your poison in their ears, they did what friends do. They talked to each other."
Tear Twirler seemed stunned by this, almost as much as some of the delegates were.
Discord turned to the ponies. "Congratulations on a flawless revolution by the way," he said, "I would have preferred more running around and screaming, but there's been enough of that lately."
"Wait, you tricked us?" Will o' Wisp asked, his shock obvious and shared by all the others.
"Yes, they tricked you, like teaching a foal to ride a bicycle," Discord said, atop a bike with training wheels. "The child thinks the parent is supporting them, after the training wheels are off." The training wheels vanished. "But after a point, the parent, a good parent, steps back and lets the child ride on their own." Discord looked over to Derpy. "Back me up on this."
Derpy nodded.
"So they let you think they were going to do everything, but really, you did it entirely yourselves," Discord said.
The Crystal Ponies began looking at each other in stunned amazement.
"I should thank you Tear Twirler," Discord said, "Without you whispering your doubts about them, none of this could have happened so quickly. It would have taken weeks for their doubts to have surfaced and for them to be ready to act on them."
"You allowed my plan to proceed, because it was your plan?" the plant-pony asked, "You manipulated me?"
"Well, actually, you talked to Vladimir and the Big Guy, and being friends, they immediately set off to talk to each other. When they realized what was happening they collected the whole crowd and talked about it. You had raised some good points, I commend you on sowing Chaos that helped everypony."
"Don't forget your part in the counterstroke," Cadence said, "Points for modesty, but let's have it all out."
"Of course, I was getting to that. They called me in and I laid out the whole plan, brilliant though it was, and gave each one their part . . . and kept it all . . . " Discord turned to a grinning Vladimir and the Big Guy. "You manipulated me!"
" 'Like teaching a foal to ride a bicycle. The child thinks the parent is supporting them, after the training wheels are off, but after a point, a good parent steps back and lets the child ride on their own.'" The Big Guy turned to Derpy. " 'Back me up on this.'"
Derpy grinned and nodded.
"You did all that on your own. With free-rein to do as you liked, you chose life-affirming chaos, and worked harder at the plan than anything before I'll bet," the Big Guy said, "I couldn't be more proud of you."
Discord looked over the ponies, the 'lords' stepping forward.
"Part of being friends is allowing others to be who they are," Vladimir said, he looked over at Green Grass, who suddenly blushed, "You might round off some sharp edges, but you keep the core person intact. You are our friend, we hope that we proved we are yours as well."
Discord gathered them all into a fierce hug. "I love you guys!" he insisted.
"Too bad," the blue pony in the top hat whispered to the white pony in the derby, "You could be down there and part of that."
"Shh," the bederbied pony replied, watching Discord cry tears of joy.
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Fragrance and Comes in Peace watched the last of the engines and powerplants gently land in front of them. Many of the inventors were nearly salivating at the idea of working on such advanced equipment. "I still don't like the idea of leaving such a magnificent ship with less than half its engines," the griffon said, "It seems, wrong."
"If the hull collapses, we lose everything," Fragrance replied. She glanced over at the pony the Changelings had captured, the spy sent by her mother, "I don't like that Molybdenum Blossom found out about the problem. Now she can just wait us out, or speed the structural decay."
"I suspect that she doesn't know how to fix it. Only in really silly stories is a scientist in one field an expert in another. She's a botanist and psychologist, it's doubtful she also is an expert in cloud engineering. There aren't that many pegasi who are experts in it."
"I'd still rather not let her know anything," Fragrance replied, "She's still able to trick her way out of a bad deal with Discord. Who knows what else she can do."
"I do know one thing we can use against her immediately," the griffon said, "Her own methodical nature. We do the expected, but twist it to the unexpected at the moment of contact, and we'll have her. Arrogance tends to belittle the capabilities of others, when even a fledgling may stumble across a new trick."
"Weaponizing that may prove difficult," Fragrance admitted.
The griffon chuckled. "For you or I? Perhaps. For those she will be facing? They could convince Celestia rain was wet, and that it was their recent doing."
Fragrance laughed at that.
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Discord had excused himself and left briefly for Ponyville to collect Spike. Spike had been hard at work and had been cracking open the last of the jars when Discord had arrived.
The draconequus' mind was racing. They out-chaosed me, Discord thought, They used me to spread chaos, no they enticed me to spread a well-ordered stream of chaos, and I never saw the deceit. By spreading chaos across an entire kingdom, I brought about growth and, ugh, Harmony. No, not Harmony. The Crystals may be unified, but they are not as harmonious as the Equestrians. They argue, but part in love. That seems a better way that bottling it up to be `harmonious`.
"Are you all right?" Spike asked.
"No," Discord said and waved to Tom, "I just got schooled, yes joy and rapture from you, but I'm rather thoughtful about it."
Spike decided not to comment as he climbed up the ladder to the huge locomotive. Discord headed straight into the firebox. The blast of heat would have singed the fur and feathers off a pony, but Spike merely shrugged and followed.
"Mister Discord, you came, and you brought a friend," an adorable filly said, an adorable filly who was actively on fire.
Spike looked around the machine that contained the inferno. "Yes, I'm Spike, I'm a dragon," he said.
"He also helped me develop the treats," Discord said, "I hope you like them, but please tell us if you don't."
"I'm sure they'll be wonderful," she said.
"If they aren't, tell us, we can change the recipe," Spike said, and caught Discord's little grin.
Discord held up his hands. "I'm not teasing you over your charming the young lady," the draconequus said, "I'm fascinated by your ability to instantly make friends with everyone. If they'd left the task to you and Fluttershy, things would have gone so much more smoothly. Does your proprietor know that?"
Spike frowned. "Let's change the subject. I want to know what else you had going on," Spike said firmly.
"Oh, I got whirled around by the Big Guy and Vladimir . . . did you figure out he wasn't what he seemed?"
"Head of the gems and stone club, yeah, you betcha," Spike said.
Discord regarded him. Then the filly laughed. "Isn't it obvious? Dragons collect what is valuable. Ponies say good relationships are valuable, so you collect and keep good relationships."
Spike blushed at that. "Uh, how are the cookies?" he asked.
"Oh." The filly wagged a forehoof at him as she took a bite. Then her expression flattened.
Both Spike and Discord leaned in with alarm.
"No, I'm okay," she said, wiped her eyes, "It's delicious. I've been hearing about how things taste for so long, and now -" She sniffled.
Discord's tail shoved Spike next to the Filly, and before he knew it, he had a sobbing pony wrapped around him.
"Thank you, you're such wonderful friends!" she bawled and she hugged Spike who carefully returned it.
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Vladimir looked in the cell where one of Tear Twirler was being kept. There were nearly two dozen cells which all had one Tear Twirler in each. He didn't approve of torture, but this wasn't torture per se. "Hello, I thought you might want to talk. Failing that, you might want to listen."
"Neither of us have anything to say that the other would wish to hear," the blue-veined, green, plant-pony said, her sneer quite noticeable. "Other than, you had that white fool hoodwinked this whole time. If you can manage it, what does that make my master."
"A bigger fool than the white one," Vladimir replied, "Her Highness at least made her mistakes through ignorance and complacency, not malice and self-interest. But I understand plants do better when someone talks to them, and far be it from me to do anything so you would not thrive in our care. So." He opened up the door and issued a pink pony inside.
"Oh, Trixie said you like wheels. I like wheels. You can make them like cookies, or you can use them as gears, or you can make cookie gears, but those should just be decorative, you can't use those for machinery. Well, not any machinery that you expect to last, but like on a cake for a birthday party, that would be perfect. Trixie gets nervous about wheels, are you the reason she's nervous about wheels?"
Vladimir left the horrified Tear Twirler as he locked the cell door. He opened the next cell to let a pink pony walk in. The Tear Twirler in that cell was already transfixed by what must have been pouring through the gestalt.
"Trixie says you like salads. Kind of funny considering you're a plant now. And if you were always a plant, that's kind of gruesome, isn't it. I mean most people don't think plants can talk, but as a walking, talking plant, you'd know better. So what do you like now? Soil, rocks, fixed nitrogen smoothies?"
Vladimir closed and locked the door, then walked to the next cell, the next Tear Twirler, and the next excited, pink pony.
"Say, I've heard you like paint. I didn't ask whether it was house paint or art paint, but I figured we could talk about it."
Vladimir closed and locked the door, then walked to the next cell, the next Tear Twirler, and the next excited, pink pony.
"They say carbon dioxide is good for plants, so I'll be breathing on you a lot, because ponies breathe out carbon dioxide, so it all works out perfectly. Say, are your eyes supposed to be glazed over like that? Is that a plant thing or did you always look like that?"
Vladimir closed and locked the door, then walked to the next cell, the next Tear Twirler, and the next excited, pink pony. And the next, and the next, and met Shining Armor coming the other way.
"I can't say I approve," Shining said as he closed the door on the last Tear Twirler's cell. "This is cruelty of the highest order."
"We'll switch out the Changelings in two hours and let them rest and feed, while the next shift goes to work," Vladimir said, "I'm not completely heartless you know." Vladimir chuckled as Shining facehoofed.
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Pinkie had been waiting outside the locomotive. She'd tried Twilight's breathing exercises, but they just made her dizzy. It's been going on so long, it must be a good party, she thought, But I can't go in and just ask, that might just spoil the party, me being on fire and all. I have to wait, be patient, and let them have fun. HAVE FUN WITHOUT ME!
She took a deep breath, let it out, took another one, and let it out slowly as she realized she was drifting off the ground. "Can't float away, I have to watch, and find out."
All that saved Spike from a flying tackle as he exited the firebox were Pinkie's hard-learned lessons with the Big Guy. He'd cringed as she flew, but she landed short of him and just looked at him. "Howwastheparty?" she asked as calmly as she could.
"Very nice," Discord replied, "And the cookies were a great hit."
"That's nice," Pinkie said, all smiles as Spike relaxed.
"It even gave me a little something to twit our princesses about," Discord said.
"Discord!" Spike protested,
"Oh please, after helping engineer this morning, do you think I'm going to do something terrible to poor Celestia and little what's-her-face?" Discord asked. He looked at Pinkie. "Guess who's an expert on friendship, besides you, and has been ignored as a tutor by Celestia and Twilig Sprinkles? Someone who practically has a doctorate in it."
"Doctor . . . who?" Pinkie asked.
"Not him, someone else," Discord said, "Note the 'one'."
Pinkie considered, and was even more confused when both Spike and Discord facehoofed.
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Will o' Wisp set the tankard down on the bar and looked over at Ham n' Cheese, Lotsa Books and Brush & Chisel, who were also nursing their cider. Chateau Vin, Plow and Furrow, and Hay Rake were together sampling some vintages from the bar's stock.
"What are we going to do?" Will 'o Wisp said, "It's like Sombra all over again."
"Only we're Sombra," Vin added as he nervously glanced around, and downed the wine with one gulp.
"We'll do better," Hay Rake said, "We didn't kick them out of the country, we - they, just took control." He upended the wine bottle and drained it dry. "Which means they'll help us, but we're ultimately responsible."
Plow and Furrow put head to table gently, and hoped the world would go away.
"I can't figure out how they knew that Tear Twirler was all the ponies warning us that they had a nefarious plan," Lotsa Book said.
"Because they're used to it, and they talked to each other," Will o' Wisp said, then got a weird expression on his face. "Doesn't the library have Sombra's journals? I remember a big speech about how stupid and weak the Diamond Dogs were because they had a sort of democracy. He laid it out why it wasn't as good as what we had, with him."
"Are you suggesting we take everything he said was wrong, and make it right?" Chateau Vin asked.
"Yeah, I am," Will replied.
"We need a few more bottles," Vin said, "That actually makes sense, and if that's the best we can do, we should at least have hangovers as an excuse when we present it."
"Present it to whom?" Lotsa Books asked, "We are the government. The only presenting will be to the 'lords' for advice, not even advice and consent."
"We were better off under Sombra. It was a lot less confusing," Will suggested, "You just did what you were told and hoped nopony noticed you."
"Do you really believe that?" Hay Rake asked.
"No," Will said, "I'm just whining because I went from making lamps to having to help make a government. But it was better to have someone else to blame."
The others nodded.
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The white, bederbied pony's ears practically collapsed as a multi-nation assault reduced her 'empire' to a tiny hoofful of cities. "Lu - Your Majesty, you promised," she said to the alicorn princess across the table.
Luna shrugged. "He made an intriguing offer, one I would not be interested in you matching."
The blue pony had put aside her top hat to play the game, and had done relatively well, teaming with Blueblood and Fragrance. She snickered. "I'm wondering how the betrayal by Princess Cadenza was arranged."
Cadence looked at the blue pony. "Shining Armor made me the same offer," the pink alicorn said.
The blue pony looked across the game board at Shining Armor.
Armor nodded to the Big Guy. "He offered to teach me how to do it. Derpy and Luna seem quite enthused by the technique," Shining Armor said.
Discord began giggling. "I'm just glad Dinky and Selene aren't here to ask embarrassing questions on just what a quadrilabial fricative does to mares."
The white, bederbied pony became almost as pink as Cadence's regular shade, while Cadence shaded to Pinkie's normal tone.
"Now technically, by the rules of the game, I don't have to deliver," the Big Guy said, "That's also part of diplomacy and international politics." He looked at both Shining Armor and Luna. "I said 'by the rules of the game', I am well aware by the rules of ever getting a peaceful sleep again, I have to, but not by the rules of the game."
The pair relaxed.
"Well, here's my part of the game," Celly said and handed a 'formal notice of surrender' to Vladimir, as did the blue pony and Fragrance. "By having sufficient territories, Vladimir wins." Celly yawned. "The rest of you are just advisors, I still have work to do tomorrow. And I think suicide prevention is going to be a major thing."
"They'll get over it," Discord said, "A little chaos strengthens people."
"Can I have your help keeping it to 'a little'?" Celly asked.
"If by 'a little' you mean while the concentrated chaos in certain individuals is reduced to a perpetuateable level, while the sum aggregate chaos either increases or remains the same, then yes," Discord said.
Celly extended a foreleg. "Deal."
"Deal." Discord shook it. "Tranquilizers in the water jugs, with a hint of methyl blue in them, and flügelhorns at each table should be an adequate trade." Discord looked around. "The 'fear' of the horns being used is the chaos. It'll focus anxiety on something while Celly is soothing them on the immediate concern."
"And the explanation that 'Blue Blood' was a polite euphemism for the actual, embarrassing but noninjurious condition on becoming a ruler," Vladimir said, "Also explaining the phrase 'inbred streak of piss' among the nobles."
The white pony snorted, which gave the others permission to begin laughing at that.
"Well," the blue pony said, "It's a trip back home for us. But we thank you for the dinner and the game."
"You're very welcome," the Big Guy said and the others chimed in similarly.
As they walked towards the train station, the pair of ponies enjoyed the companionable silence. Finally, when they were sure no one was following/eavesdropping, the white pony said, "They definitely saw through our disguises, yet . . . "
"They are all aware, but were trying to be kind. By concentrating on the seeming, rather than on the lie we all knew was being told. If everyone knows a lie is a lie, and everyone knows that everyone knows, then it's a story, not a lie," Discord said as he walked between them.
Neither pony was shocked but the sudden appearance of the draconequus.
"I'm glad you're getting out more, being with your closest friends, and - no, being with people who despise and have every reason to hate and fear you," Discord said, "But it proves they can rise above past `indiscretions` and attempt to redeem the fallen." He turned to the blue pony. "Yes, they did it to me, and Nightmare, and arguably the Changeling nation, first. Strange that they left a certain pony for last. Most difficult, or they just ran out of interesting and useful souls to save?"
Discord was gone before either had a chance to retort.
"He's just pushing your buttons," the blue pony assured the despondent, white pony.
"I am aware, but as our friends might argue, by pushing those buttons, and getting a reaction, he indisputably proves the buttons are there. The pressing isn't the problem, that they exist at all is the problem. Do you think Dinky, Derpy, or even Selene would have a problem with being called uninteresting or unuseful? I think they'd be secure enough in themselves and their loved ones to let it pass."
"You are loved," the blue pony assured her.
"Am I, or is the metal hat and the smile beneath it what ponies love? Is reverence the same as love? I doubt that Luna or Cadence are going to receive a night of reverence from their respective mates. Can you imagine say, Celestia, inviting Prince Blueblood, Shining Armor, Twilight Sparkle, Spike and Princess Luna to an evening of cards, or a board game? I can't, and I can imagine quite a bit. Is being able to sit at table with - let's call them former enemies, and simply play, a sign that someone is better at friendship than someone who treats everything as a diplomatic game? You will note that the other factions completely destroyed me, because they are friends, and they are able to play games with each other."
"It is also their strength that they can trust each other fully," the blue pony reminded her, "Even their 'former enemies' have been able to earn their way into that 'band of brothers' and would hesitate to lose that connection. I think that Celestia has distanced herself from the ponies around her, to avoid the pain of losing them over and over. But in avoiding pain, she is losing joy, which even Discord recognizes as a horrible thing. If you could explain how much fun we had with people we may not see again, what would you tell her?"
The white pony took off her derby and stared at it, as if it were a scrying bowl and would give the answers she needed. "I don't know. So many of those I hoped for have passed out of my life. I sought never to let that happen again."
" 'Buy a pup and your money will buy
Love unflinching that cannot lie--
Perfect passion and worship fed
By a kick in the ribs or a pat on the head.
Nevertheless it is hardly fair
To risk your heart for a dog to tear.
When the fourteen years which Nature permits
Are closing in asthma, or tumour, or fits,
And the vet's unspoken prescription runs
To lethal chambers or loaded guns,
Then you will find--it's your own affair--
But . . . you've given your heart for a dog to tear.'"
"The Power of the Dog, a poem by Rudyard Kipling. Ask anyone who's lost a faithful pet, and you will find they will get another. Same with a friend. Anyone who locks themselves away from all hurts, locks themselves away from all life. And this is a world for the living. Statues are fine, and they last, but they aren't people, and they can't do what needs to be done. That there's not too great a step between fearing to get close to people, and treating them as if they are not 'people' is the great trap of not getting close to them. Blueblood despised Celestia for treating the nobles as chess pieces to be played against each other. In his case, that was an accurate assessment of his fate. He wasn't the piece Celestia expected, so rather than change her game, she got one who would do as she needed, and ignored the person who continued to offer all that was permitted of him, until he could escape."
"You make - Celestia, sound like a monster," the white pony said.
"No, I make her sound like a machine," the blue pony responded, "A clockwork ticking over to run the world, over centuries. Caring little for those caught in the mechanism, whether they knew they were being ground by the gears or not. And Discord was right, apathy and condescension are more corrosive than hatred. Hatred at least proves that the hater cares, in a negative way, but apathy tells the person that they matter not at all. Would you rather be thought of negatively, or not thought of at all?"
The blue pony raised a hoof to the white pony's chin. "And which hurts more, the contemptible scallywag who drags you off to play pool or board games til all hours of the night? Or the wonderful, caring father and lover, who treats everything you spent a lifetime building as a thing to be dealt with, no more alive, vibrant or worthy of praise than his truck or his drill press? And part of what you built was you. When he had a week, unwarned and ill-prepared, to build something similar, he did it and did it well. He just did it again. So, you have the one who embodies everything you hate, because it is a mirror image of how you can never be again. And you have one who embodies every virtue you aspire to, yet is also able to control and subjugate all the darkness within himself, the darkness within you that you fear. If this was a desperate plea from your student on finding herself in a similar dilemma, what would your letter back read?"
"Idle platitudes gleaned from too many centuries of listening, and not doing," the white pony replied and resumed her walk towards the train station, "It seems that the chessmaster of Canterlot has not done the one thing this alien chessmaster accomplishes with relish, listening to his pieces and using them as they wish. Discord has become a mix of Pinkie Pie and Shining Armor, Nightmare Moon is now the Special Guard in one person. Derpy has become the Mail Service, working with four plant-dragons to run mail to and from Equestria. Even Glory was given the job she was supposed to do in Ponyville, but can do it openly, and with Holly Hock on staff, the meat-eating races will send favored ambassadors to this new kingdom, just to sup at her table. And it wasn't Celestia who sent them, but Sir Eagle Belle. Another one who can select the piece for the game, instead of deciding what the piece must be, and what the game must be."
"So Celestia has a teacher, right in the palace. Perhaps one that actually cares about her enough to begin teaching her his skills," the blue pony said and adjusted her top hat to a rakish angle after replacing the white pony's derby on her head.
The white pony trudged along, only her long stride allowing her to seem to be moving swiftly.
------------------------------
Green Grass had taken all day preparing. Changelings who exactly mirrored a person got a bit of a link to that person. That the link went both ways was usually mitigated by the pony being cocooned, or having died of their injuries, the Changeling taking the place of those who died alone. So standing in front of all twenty-two cells at once was disquieting, but she knew which one was really her, and which ones were the changelings. Twenty-two guards unlocked twenty-two doors and allowed twenty-two, pink ponies to happily pronk out of the cells with a cherry 'see you later'. Twenty-two answering whimpers from the cells and twenty-two cell doors closing behind her did help focus her mind on the one Tear Twirler in front of her.
"Considering how well you've been fed, you should be quite willing to talk," Green Grass said, and smiled at the utterly horrified and furious expression on Tear Twirler's face. The Changelings were making similar asinine statements to other Tear Twirlers, and getting similar reactions.
"You've managed to unify all the factions who were divided about taking the reins of government, you've managed to ferret out all of Grass Light's remaining agents by associating with them, and you've managed to convince the plant dragons that their loyalty towards us is in their best interests," Green Grass said, with each revelation Tear Twirler seemed to shrink, or rather wither, more. "The Big Guy suggested that you be given the Republic Medal of Honor, right before we have you shot."
Green Grass considered. "As a solution, it definitely has its merits." She smiled at Tear Twirler. "But Discord of all pony - people had the best idea. Give you back to your master with all of what we learned from you already. You see, that's the weird thing. Links go both ways, once you can tap into them, all kinds of information flows."
"Impossible!" Tear Twirler gasped, and Grass Light was aware of the stunning revelation that passed among the other Tear Twirlers, without the Changeling Green Grasses even revealing the bombshell.
The real key happened a few moments later, as Tear Twirler went from green, to brown, and began shriveling up. She writhed a bit, but the death was almost mercifully quick. Green Grass was aware of the other Tear Twirlers facing the exact same effect.
So, Molly B can link up with her minions instantly, and she can command them to die immediately, Green Grass thought, That the plant dragons are immune seems to support the theory that they are from the original trees, and perhaps Discord's corrupted Plunder Vines, although coopted might be a better term.
She knocked on the door and let the guard verify it was her. Twenty-two guards let twenty-two Green Grasses out of twenty-two cells containing the withered remains of twenty-one Tear Twirlers, who would be carefully transported to Fluttershy, to be offered to the trees, for reformation. The plant dragons carried a little of the previous incarnations' intellect, although there wasn't much to start with, Green Grass thought, I wonder how much they can reconstitute from what we have. I wonder if she'll be as friendly as the plant dragons, if we can save the original Tear Twirler from her decent into darkness. Not soldierly thoughts, but considering the miracles I've seen this lot pull off, is it really hoping for too much for another one? She walked down the line of cells, that hope firmly in mind.
------------------------------
Day 81
Woona was waiting in Sir Eagle Belle's outer office when he arrived.
"Highness, if you needed me, you could have summoned me," the old bureaucrat offered.
"Considering the subject, I wanted to get in after you were wide-awake and ready for the trials and tribulations of government," Woona said, "I also suggest we talk privately."
He bowed slightly and unlocked his office. "I must say your, shall we say, restrained manner is unnerving to many of us. We are used to her Highness' more forthright style."
Woona stared at the door, Eagle Belle took the hint immediately. He closed and locked it. "It is those anomalies that I wished to discuss."
"I assure you," the old stallion said, "None take offense, it is just something to get used to."
"That's the point, what you are used to," Woona said, "Unusual speech mannerisms and style of dress, interpreting situations as having unusual meaning for them."
"Her Highness has always been eccentric," Eagle Belle said, "None of this is new."
"No," Woona said, "Celly was much like that, but the destruction of our home and the subsequent adoption by the Big Guy's harem has helped her to branch out. My concern is that you say Celestia hasn't changed. I know she hasn't changed. In a thousand years she hasn't changed. That strikes me as very odd. Everyone else has changed. Luna and Nightmare Moon who were trapped between heartbeats from their imprisonment to release. They changed. Celestia should have changed with the return of her sister. Did she?"
"Not as much as one would expect," the stallion said gravely, "What are you getting at?"
"That while she nurtures and heals all others, who does the same for her?" Woona asked, "No mare is an island, but I think Celestia is a constricted peninsula. Former Prince Blueblood made a very nasty comment, that underlies a dangerous truth,"
"The most cutting insults generally have a kernel of truth to give them bite," Eagle Belle said, "I've not heard about this confrontation."
"More like a declaration of independence," Woona said, "One that gave Celestia a few, true nightmares. To wit, why did she have to send Twilight Sparkle to Ponyville to learn friendship. Why hadn't she learned it at Celestia's hoof all this time?"
The old stallion considered. "I have no answer."
"I do, and I think I know what Discord's real game is," Woona said, "Can you imagine if you found out that your greatest enemy was trying to be your friend, because he realized you didn't have any?"
"Her relationship with Princess Luna . . . oh dear," the old stallion said as he raised his head.
"Yes, but are they friends?" Woona said, "That is the real question, isn't it. Discord has seen it, and has been leaving her a trail of breadcrumbs out of the darkness she's placed herself in."
"I - think I see your point," Eagle Belle said as he glanced around nervously, a sign of full-blown screaming panic in others, "What do we do? Everyone accepts her as she is. And while some despise me for it, keeping things running on an even-keel is both my job and my particular passion. This goes beyond merely shaking up the status quo."
"True, which neither of us wants. But it is a problem, and it many soon be a major one. Her suspicions about his, their, behaviors have proven false, but poisoned Equestria's relations with two major factors in the direction of the Crystal Republic. Both her people and her government. If the data on this Schmooze is accurate, then close coordination will be required, and that will be problematic at best."
"With you and Celly as part of the inner circle, I would have thought that would handle the connection," Eagle Belle said.
"Yes, but neither of us are the military planners. Shining Armor, untouched as he is, is still a very conventional thinker. The four planners will be using their experience and available wisdom fonts to figure out ways go around the Equestrian crown, not to seek a greater rapport and coordination. Neither Celly nor Celestia are comfortable with a direct military solution, or direct confrontation. 'Going for the throat' is not Celestia's way, hence all the 'imprisoned, banished, or statued' villains. Twilight has lately had to become the force option."
"Her Highness is afraid of going too far," Eagle Belle.
"Her Highness is afraid of people being afraid of her," Woona said, "But Discord and the Big Guy are still admired, even though they are fearsome. Critical things are getting stalled because Celestia doesn't want to appear the tyrant, but any absolute ruler must occasionally play the tyrant. Making the tough choices comes with a position of authority." She turned to the head of the Equestrian bureaucracy. "You know that as well as I. That stupid lake commission was a dumping ground for ponies who couldn't be trusted with any more authority or responsibility. What happened to them after we closed it?"
"They all got the sack," Eagle said as he frowned, "Everypony knew that such a posting, unless it was a temporary, disciplinary one was pure poison to your career. It's been a club on certain careless high-fliers for centuries, and everyone in the Service knew it."
"But you still had to sign the notice of the Undersecretary at least. Family? Wife and kids? Mortgage? Retirement plans? Flush all that for one pony, or let a problem infect a healthy department. Not an easy decision to make, yet you made it before the ink was dry on the move orders for the records we brought back. Celestia would have agonized for days, and come up with a 'clever' solution that would have spread the misery around."
"Made her the new Royal Cigar Clipper or something," Eagle Belle agreed, "And another the Cigar Clipper Hoof Bandager. If I did that it would be featherbedding."
"Yet she would do it to avoid a thought that she'd let a pony fail," Woona said, "I think we need a few more failures around here, to teach everypony it's not fatal."
"Or when it really is fatal, and when it's not." Eagle Belle nodded.
------------------------------
The troops practiced their 'lightning bombing' of the ground targets. Several cannons were being tested, and rockets usually meant for fireworks were being investigated for another purpose.
Tom watched all of the preparation, but felt uneasy. He alone had the mystic senses to truly understand what the Smooze/Shmooze/Schmooze was, what the progression of spelling meant, and could look at it without existential despair gripping his soul. Even Discord was uneasy with the creature. And only the Big Guy truly understood the lengths that would need to be gone to, to stop the thing once and for all.
"It isn't enough," Tom finally said, disrupting Vladimir and Green Grass' enthusiastic undercurrent about the effectiveness of the attacks.
"The inventors haven't brought their equipment to bear," Vladimir said.
"And the Changeling Queens are at least as strong as Cadence, and there are dozens of them," Green Grass added.
"It still won't be enough," Tom said, "The lightning attack, all the weapons, the alicorns, Discord and myself, it won't be enough."
"We already talked about the plan to trick the Elements here, add the Crystal Heart, and what else is there?" Green Grass asked as she glanced between Tom and her colonel.
"Tirek," Vladimir said, "And a few others in Celestia's statue garden."
"She'd never let us borrow them," Green Grass said.
"Who said one word about 'borrowing' them?" Tom said, feeling the dread lifting from his soul, "That implies we were planning to give them back. And you'd be surprised to know what Celestia 'allows'."
------------------------------
The delivery of the withered husks to Fluttershy, and subsequently to the 'grove' of the trees had gone surprisingly easily. Fluttershy was overjoyed to be a tree again, and especially when it meant helping the trees get more friends.
"You're nervous about the vines observing you?" Discord asked the zebra, whose house was also the vine forest that the library was.
"It is disconcerting, all the vines be watching," she replied, "Helpful as they are, I'd be happier if they're far."
"You are living inside one of them," Discord said, "They are rightly curious, as a landlord should be. I also think they are wondering about approaching the less tolerant ponies." Discord looked at the plant dragon. "My question is why Dragon-Scared wasn't put off by you."
"I am not a dragon," the huge plant creature said.
Discord waited for elaboration, but the plant-dragon said no more and continued to watch Fluttertree and the cargo it had delivered.
"Why is not the lithic Tom at our side?" Zecora asked, "There he's been since we started this ride."
"Something of mine at the typesetters," Discord said, "I would be too excited to be useful."
"Typesetters?" Zecora asked.
Discord did a very Fluttershy-like squeal and happy dance. "It's a translation of one of the Big Guy's books."
Zecora stared at him for a bit, then focused on Fluttertree again.
------------------------------
The platoon of Grass Light's former army stepped out of the train, onto a barren field of rocks. No town, no obvious habitation, no nothing. Only a ridge of snowcapped peaks in the distance.
"Great, I grew up on a rock farm, now I get to go back," one of the soldiers groused.
"Be glad you were above ground," another complained, "You don't think those locomotives burn wood do you?"
The train started pulling away, and revealed a lone railcar on a siding. 'You're new home.' was stenciled on the side.
"What in Equestria are we supposed to do here?" the soldiers looked around at the barrenness all around them. "They drop us off in the middle of nowhere and leave us to starve to death?"
"No, we'll die of dehydration first," another lamented.
"If the wild animals don't eat us first!" yet another screamed as he looked around in fear.
They all burst into tears.
------------------------------
On a hill, the eldest of the pair of monks lowered his binoculars. "We were warned they were stupid," the elder monk said, "But I thought they'd at least look in the railcar."
"Enlightenment comes in many ways," the elderly but still junior monk said, "Celestia promised to send ponies to help us train the dogs who rescue lost hikers in the mountains. Neither of us thought that she was sending us a pack of practice dummies."
"Practice nothing, they're experts," the elder monk said, hoofing over the binoculars to the other monk, "I'm going to meditate on the inherent perversity of the universe and Princess Celestia's rather piquant sense of humor. Disturb me if they do anything remotely intelligent. And committing mass suicide doesn't count." The monk closed his eyes and steadied his breathing.
The other monk watched the cluster of sobbing ponies for a while and idly wondered if close proximity to Discord and the Ponyville Monster had permanently unhinged them. No, insanity is active, stupidity is this, the monk thought and was enlightened.
------------------------------
Fluttershy eeeped at the close inspection by Discord, Zecora and the big plant.
"Apologies," the plant said and withdrew slightly, then dragged Discord and Zecora back a few paces.
"Thank you," Fluttershy said. Fluttershy looked at Discord. "They have sufficient Plunder Vines left to 'return' these and complete their restoration of the few other living trees that haven't grown sessile." She blushed suddenly. "That's not the word they used, but what they said is a very bad word, to them I mean." She ignored the hidden smiles and faint snickers and turned to the big plant. "They are also very proud of you, and thank you for representing them to the Crystal Republic."
The large plant bowed its head.
"And Discord," Fluttershy sat and took Discord's paw in her forehooves. "They are very happy with your part in this, your Plunder Vines are a marvelous catalyst. It's like you are a good mother." Fluttershy nuzzled his paw, then realized all she was nuzzling was his paw. The rest of him was a pile of fragments and two eyes staring at her in terror.
"I can't be a mother!" the pile insisted, "I don't have a thing to wear!"
"Tom you raised," Zecora said, "A fine gentlemen all have praised."
"But the Big Guy did all the work," the reassembled Discord said and began pacing worriedly, "We have to teach them and feed them and look after them and take them to the doctor, er the botanist and be there for baseball games and soccer and karate classes and music recitals and school plays and know when to get them the new toy and when to deny them and when to send them to time out and when to spank them and what college to go to and how to set up their retirement plans. I'm a spirit of chaos, I'm not cut out to be the responsible one . . . is that tea I smell?" he stared at the impromptu tea party.
Zecora held up a cup. "Yes, it makes the waiting easier," Zecora said, "Care for one to make your concerns breezier?"
Discord carefully took the cup, gunned it down, turned plaid and fell over. "What was I doing?" he asked as he sat up.
Fluttershy looked nervously at the tea she was drinking.
"On the cup, dear," Zecora said.
"You were just realizing that we were essentially adults," the plant said, "And while we would always appreciate your counsel, we are our own people."
Fluttershy patted his paw. "They grow up so fast."
------------------------------
"General Hobart would be pleased," the Big Guy said as he watched the test crews disassemble their equipment. The targets had been utterly pulverized, even the stone ones.
"We understand that we have no proof that any of these weapons will be usable against the Schmooze," Plans for Peace said quietly.
"Any weapon will work, but you'd need a lot to affect something measured in square miles," the Big Guy said, "And every little bit helps."
"We also may have a way to deal with the other problem," Plans for Peace said, "How to dry roast an entire bunker."
"I'm listening," the Big Guy said.
"The shields of the big ship store energy, and slowly bleed it off, or feed it back into the power systems."
"Yes."
"What would happen if you inverted that?" the griffon asked and smiled.
"Any place else I'd say reversing the polarity of the neutron flow, wouldn't work." The Big Guy smiled as well.
Several ponies took one look at the pair and ran for their lives.
------------------------------
The awakening of the `Tear Twirlers` was attended by the Elements, their Bearers, fifty royal guards, and a griffon general wearing a pink flamethrower.
Rainbow looked at the grim griffon. "Pinkie, I'm not sure that's what the Big Guy meant, talking about a 'feminine protection product'."
Pinkie shrugged.
The plants stirred, looked around in synchronization, looked at each with some fits and starts as if trying to work out which head and set of eyes were where, then they focused on the Element Bearers. They stared at each one for a moment, then returned to staring at each other.
Finally, they turned to the guards. "I suspect I am under arrest," one of them said, the others looking at the reaction of the other ponies to her words, "I will accept the judgement of the crown and provide no trouble."
"We need to know where Molybdenum Blossom's base is," Pinkie said, sounding utterly serious.
"I cannot betray one, and ever expect another to trust me. I am her creation. I still owe her at least that much," the spokesplant said, with the others nodding.
"She killed you," Applejack said.
"And would you kill to protect your life?" the spokesplant asked, "Besides, she is irrelevant, compared to what I am willing to share with you."
"And that is?" Twilight asked.
"A complete encyclopedia of what she has in Equestria, and what I know of the Schmooze," the Tear Twirlers said.
The Bearers looked at each other, and from their expressions, they wished Celestia or Woona was with them.
------------------------------
It was dark here, despite the sun being out, and the moon near to rising. But at this altitude, it was always 'night'. Tom looked at the dormant volcano, the source of the Smooze before Molly B's tinkering, and considered. The immense mass of the Schmooze still lingered under Sombra's spell. But that is weakening, hour by hour, until it will be able to break free. Then our ice barrier will hold it, until it overtops it, flanks it, or simply batters through, he thought, and briefly considered delivering a series of small matter-anti-matter charges into the bulk of the creature, letting its own mass absorb the blasts and radiation.
If I thought it would work to kill this thing or drive it off, I'd do it, he thought, But even I'm not sure I could make the blasts big enough to more than sting this thing, and not poison all the world around it. To be so powerful, and yet so helpless, is infuriating. So, this is the dilemma, do what obviously needs doing, and live with the consequences, or trust that 'lesser' being can take care of the problem with their lesser means. Sealing the Evil back in the can. But Blueblood was right, these `lessers` become a greater whole, a whole I am part of. And perhaps I should be considering how to poison the inside of the can, so the Evil sealed within will die, out of the way of prying eyes. 'Here's your prison, you're going to die in there.' Yes, that is what needs doing. And that is what I will do. Too bad I can't just stick Molly B and her lab in the volcano and be done with both problems.
------------------------------
The ponies around the table were quiet. Pool Shark was well known, and feared, among pool players. There were stories of her seeking out, and beating up players who'd she'd challenged and who then lost. Assuring that she would remain the pinnacle of pool perfection. The denizens of the tavern knew this was not the case. It seemed that Pool Shark sent her goons in first, to 'encourage a forfeit'.
It was partially for this reason the patrons were quiet. It was more out of respect that the pair who were quietly playing pool, and giving tips to some of the youngsters, had taken out eight of Pool Shark's posse, each, without help from anypony else, and without trashing the tavern. The Royal Guard had arrested the resulting heap, for causing a traffic hazard, and left without comment.
Some of the older patrons whispered about 'special forces' and 'secret esoteric martial arts'.
"No," Discord as pony said as he lined up a shot, "We're janitors, in the palace's deepest halls. You'd be amazed at the amount of weird stuff we have to deal with every day." Discord hit the cushion, deflecting the ball perfectly, it hit another cushion, then gently kissed the ball he was aiming for, which dropped into the pocket without the cue scratching. He addressed the youngsters, "Always be willing to go around. Sometimes the most obvious answer is to go the other way."
He set the balls up again and handed the cue to a young mare who'd been watching intently.
Celestia glanced around. I wonder what the others would say if they knew I was in a tavern brawl, she thought, I guess I shouldn't tell them. There are secrets they couldn't handle. She returned to watching Discord enjoying watching the mare learn some of the trickier nuances of pool, and enjoying herself utterly.
------------------------------
Day 82
"Momma wouldn't like to say I hate anything," Dinky said to Selene at the threshold of Sombra's office, "But I hate this place. Why do they keep it standing?"
Selene was about to answer when a voice from inside the office said, " 'All the Dachaus must remain standing. The Dachaus, the Belsens, the Buchenwalds, the Auschwitzes-all of them. They must remain standing because they are a monument to a moment in time when some men decided to turn the Earth into a graveyard. Into it they shoveled all of their reason, their logic, their knowledge, but worst of all, their conscience. And the moment we forget this, the moment we cease to be haunted by this remembrance, then we become gravediggers. Something to dwell on and remember, not only in the Twilight Zone but wherever men walk God's Earth.'"
Dinky and Selene clung to each other shivering at the quiet tone from the darkness.
"No, I'm not going crazy," the Big Guy said as he stepped from the shadows.
"Vladimir said you shouldn't spend so much time here," Selene offered.
"Well, there are things that need to be worked on, and organized. Who's going to do it if I don't? Most ponies won't even come in here. Discord is busy, and he's even more skittish about this place. Tom is concentrating on the go-forward plan. Hotaru and organize don't belong in the same sentence, her wolf friend would be better. That leaves me."
"I think you should hurry up and leave," Dinky said.
"I will, but I finally figured out what's been bothering me, and Luna, so much about all this."
"That it was assembled by a crazy pony?" Dinky replied as she walked in and looked around. Spotting Selene still at the threshold, she grabbed her and dragged her inside.
"No, that wouldn't disturb Luna so much," the Big Guy said, "And I didn't see it, but once I did, I understood why this place bothered me."
"What's bothering you?" Selene asked as she looked around frantically.
"Can we help?" Dinky offered and shivered at the thought of staying in here longer than necessary.
"Actually you can." The Big Guy gestured at the wall of connections. "I already looked. I haven't gone through the filing cabinets yet, but I'm going to take those slowly. I want you to look at all the papers tacked up. All of them are 'Her Majesty Celestia, ruffles and flourishes, and 'Sombra', or King Sombra, ruffles and flourishes, and Her Highness Celestia, ruffles and flourishes. No where in any of them is Luna named, or even mentioned."
"That can't be right," Selene said "Mom and Auntie took down Sombra together, so that was before Nightmare."
"And Luna was shocked by the Schmooze, despite the absolutely meticulous intelligence reports Sombra provided. He may have been nuts, but he was giving them a treasure trove of intel on the thing," the Big Guy said, "Why was she shocked by it? These reports were sent to the crown."
"One crown," Selene said as she hovered near the papers while Dinky examined those lower down.
"Now you see what was bothering me," the Big Guy said, "I think the whole 'didn't appreciate her beautiful night' is revisionist history, or a flawed observer. I think it went a lot deeper than that."
"Ask Hotaru," Dinky said, "She'll know. And I don't think Princess Luna will want to talk about it."
She searched, in the letters she could read, for Luna's name or any reference to her. They never appeared.
------------------------------
To say the court was stunned by Tear Twirlers' revelations was an understatement. The Bureaucracy was also interrogating another, and the Royal Guard was discussing things with a third. Each was completely willing to answer questions about the Schmooze, and Molly B's agents in Equestria, but not one word about Molly B's whereabouts or even her nature.
Woona, ironically, deflected all efforts for the court to press the issue, and had instructed the bureaucrats and the guards of collect 'all that will be willingly given' first.
"The creature is immune to all but the most arcane of conventional magics. Molybdenum Blossom initially could not obtain the material that would make the creature immune, hence the Shmooze, but once she had it, and could add it, it became the Schmooze," Tear Twirler told the Royal Court, "Schmooze ooze is proof against even alicorn magic."
"There has to be a weakness," Celestia said, a few shades paler than usual.
"No," Tear Twirler said, "It was a doomsday weapon. All would be absorbed and smothered, anyone struck by it would be 'mean and grumpy' was the direct translation, but sociopathic is a better word. They would lose the ability to care about others, or even themselves."
"We can contain it," Celestia assured the furiously murmuring ponies, "Sombra put it to sleep for a thousand years."
"And his entire kingdom," Woona whispered to Celestia, "And even if we sacrificed them, that just kicks the can down the road."
"What else can we do?" Celestia whispered back.
"How did Molybdenum Blossom expect to survive such an onslaught?" Celestia asked Tear Twirler.
"She didn't, but if she destroyed you and Discord, she was willing to accept her fate," Tear Twirler said, "Or she might have planned to relocate to the original pony homelands. The oceans might have provided a barrier, and the clean up of those lands would not have been beyond the means of as powerful a mage as her."
Celestia frowned at that remark. "The ancient records may provide answers," she whispered to Woona.
"The alien's library provided a number of means, but the destructiveness of those means almost precludes their use," Tear Twirler said, "And whether they would be effective or not is unknown."
Nopony was pleased hearing that.
------------------------------
Luna looked at Hotaru, for once without her wolf friend, and the Big Guy as she entered the briefing room. "Why do I feel that running away might be in my best interests?"
"It might," Hotaru said, "I told him, from my point of view."
"Told him what?" Luna asked.
"Everything," the Big Guy said, "All the slights and ways she dug into you, to get you to let her in. It was an impressive list. You hung on longer than I would have."
"Not the most welcome discussion," Luna said as she sat in a chair facing them. "I assume this has a point."
"You were quite willing to sign on with my plan," the Big Guy said, "I thought it would take more convincing, but you jumped at the chance."
Luna sighed. "Severe social anxiety, paranoia, frequently misinterprets situations as being strange or having unusual meaning for her, peculiar speech patterns, odd modes of dress, and extreme discomfort with maintaining close relationships because she thinks that others think badly of her," Luna said, and looked at the pair, "Sounds like someone you know? I got the diagnosis out of one of your books."
The Big Guy nodded. "Schizotypal disorder, except her eccentricities have gone on so long, they've become mainstream. Ponies used to always wear clothes, including boots and hats. Her nudism or minimal clothing became the new fashion. She's hidden her 'victories' because they really were only temporary, you and Twilight have had a more permanent effect on Equestria's enemies."
"Then why the scheme to get you back?" Hotaru asked.
Luna shrugged. "We were close, once. I suspect she wanted that again. But was it my redemption or your destruction that Twilight was supposed to accomplish?" She looked at the Big Guy. "You wanted to know why I'd so eagerly abandon my sister? Because 'Princess Celestia' isn't Celestia-my-sister. She was nothing like this, before her 'jihad' against the forces of darkness. It's like she saw the horror, and got a taste for going after those others, usually dragging me along. I had no more choice than has Twilight, I was expected to follow. To a certain extent, I still am. Raise the sun, lower the moon, raise the moon, lower the sun. She did the job without me for a thousand years, and no one the wiser. Why does she desperately need someone to share power with? Don't misunderstand, I love my sister. I just haven't seen much of her since my return. 'Princess' Celestia is always looming over us. My sister has convinced herself that the hole in her heart is Luna-shaped, and someone needs to send her a wake up that can't be denied. Your plan does that."
The Big Guy nodded. "The fact that you weren't included in Sombra's epistles started me thinking," he admitted.
"It should, the first I learned of how far Sombra had fallen was when Celestia informed me we were going to war with him. I knew the populace had overthrown the old king, when he showed up on our doorstep and begged Celestia for help. You've no doubt met toadies who mess up and come crawling back to their patron." Luna waited for the Big Guy to nod before continuing. She smirked at Nightmare's nod as well. "That's what he had the flavor of. I frankly favored the idea of ponies not coming to us and fawning all over us to solve problems that a bit of forethought would have solved easily. So I put the entire matter out of my mind and dealt with the problems of our own fledgling kingdom. My mistake, I left foreign affairs completely in her hooves, and concentrated on the 'boring' stuff of infrastructure, tax and legal code, all the minutiae. Woona is the same, as are you. The mechanism is the fascinating part. Balancing necessary order and people's natural, even healthy chaos is the fun part."
"So I take it that it wasn't ponies not appreciating your 'beautiful night' that drove you off," the Big Guy said.
Both Luna and Hotaru chuckled. Luna explained, "It was dissatisfaction over Celestia being the appreciated sister, and me being the despised sister, but it wasn't over anything as trivial as that. The night sky was my release. If no one complained about it, that was reward enough."
"So what is your goal? To force her out of her comfort zone?" the Big Guy asked.
"Catharsis," Luna said, "You had to be able to beat the stuffings out of one of your tormentors, and then trust her enough to perform a delicate and sensitive action to help two of your friends. I have to shock her enough that might shove her out of 'I'm responsible for everything' into a healthier mindset."
"Cutie Mark Failure Insanity Syndrome?" the Big Guy asked incredulously.
"You think Nightmare Moon would have had a chance if I hadn't had my own CMFIS episode?" she looked at Hotaru, who replied with a doggy shrug. "Also, I did discuss the situation with Woona, Hotaru, and Discord."
"My apologies," the Big Guy offered, "I should have realized you'd thought this out."
"No, I'm glad you were checking up on me, it shows you were concerned. About me, and my sister," Luna said, "I love my sister, and this should make her well again."
"The plan is catharsis," Hotaru said, "As well as letting others fill the hole in Celestia's soul. Pining for someone and putting them on a pedestal, only to have the flesh and blood person fail to meet expectations is not healthy."
"So, we continue with the plan," the Big Guy said.
Luna and Hotaru nodded.
"The Schmooze will never know what hit him," Hotaru said and gave a doggy laugh.
------------------------------
Vladimir looked at the traumatized Tear Twirler in the cell. She'd escaped the purging of the others, somehow, had felt their deaths, resurrections, and betrayal, after losing her connection with Molly B and the rest of her 'sisters'. "Renegades, renegades," she muttered as she rocked, her forelegs wrapped around her rear legs. She shot to her hooves. "DON'T TELL THEM THAT!" she shouted, then sat and went back to mumbling and rocking on her butt.
"We have a scribe here at all times," Green Grass said, "But most is incoherent ramblings."
"I'm sure Discord will want to work that into his act," Vladimir said as he stared at the plant-pony, "Can you imagine having everything you are stripped away in an instant?"
"Ponies have survived it," Green Grass said, "She'll survive it. Or she won't. Either way, there's little we can do that we haven't already done."
Vladimir nodded and headed away. He had a dinner planned with Fragrance and wanted it to be special.
------------------------------
Celestia noted with chagrin that she'd arrived in disguise at the tavern before Discord, and had already fallen into the practice of giving a few lessons to the younger players. I guess I am predictable, she thought.
"What's going to happen with that Schmooze?" one of the older patrons asked.
"Celestia'll deal with it," another said.
"No, she doesn't do that," the bartender said, "It'll be the Element Bearers."
"Lot of responsibility for young mares," the first said, "Why not the army? Isn't that what they're for?"
"Against monsters?" the bartender asked, "The Elements. Yeah, sad life for those kids, no family, no future, just monsters, forever."
"Until one gets lucky," the first said, causing Celestia to wince.
"I hate to say this," Discord-pony said as he entered, "But I'm glad the Ponyville Monster is leading this fight."
Everyone turned to face him.
He shrugged. "Would anyone in this room like to face him?" Discord asked, "He's defeated everything that's been thrown at him. Although now he's got to get two at once, so it might be a little taxing."
The ponies seemed to relax a bit at the reassurance. His raised an eyebrow at Celestia already being there, already tutoring did nothing to soothe her mood.
"How do you two know so much?" One of the patrons well into his cups asked.
"We're janitors," Discord said, "Give a pony a mop and a set of coveralls, and they become invisible. The nobles discuss all kinds of stuff in front of you."
Celestia frowned at that, not just because it was unfortunately true, but that everypony accepted that as a full explanation.
"The real question is what is going to happen to all the agents," Discord said, "Who were working for Molly B."
"I thought she was Molly be Damned," the bartender said.
"Technical she's Molybdenum Blossom," Celestia said, "And I don't know what to do about them. They mostly thought they were working for the royal houses."
"Traitors!" The mare getting the lessons said, "We should string them all up."
"Naw," Discord said and shook his head, "Celestia's got them handled. If they were dumb enough to fall for that, then they're exactly who Celestia needs plotting against her. Would you rather have somepony competent?"
Most of the crowd agreed they didn't.
7295148 Rules for Radicals is like the rest, instructions on how to overthrow an existing order and install your preferred brand of tyranny. The CommManf also never expressly calls for violence, it has the following 'nonviolent' gem: 'from each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs' without ever going into who determines abilities and needs and how to you get people to comply (the answer has been the most vicious gangsters the political scene has to offer and unspeakable violence), and Rules for Radicals has 'never let a crisis go to waste' meaning when others are trying to deal with the problem (often caused by the community organizers), push your agenda.
The trees are going to play a large role, but not the way you think (unless you've read Chapter 40).
7312480
Now there are a lot of books and trainings on how to organize a "nonviolent protest" or "standing for someone's right". Surprisingly, these protests end up either being suppressed by police and special forces, or evolving to a bloodbath. The most sound example of this can be seen at Ukraine. And what is even more interesting, in most protests that gain mass, some form of support from abroad can be found.
Concerning communists, in Russia in 20-30s there was a silent fight between "Trotskyists", who were trying for revolution to go worldwide, Russia be damned, and "Stalinists", who decided that there's enough revolution and it's time to build a socialist government.
Well, authoritarian Stalin rulership allowed them to rebuild industry and repel Nazi forces later, but after his death a lot of issues resurfaced, which led to USSR end in 1991. Still, many great things made possible by uniting people with the idea.
BTW, thanks for another chapter.
So I agree with you that Luna's canon reason for going Nightmare Moon is ludicrous, but I'm having trouble parsing what actually happened.
It sounds like she felt she had to whack "Knight Templar" Celestia with a big stick to get her out of her "Only I can save the world" mindset, which obviously failed.
The thing I can't wrap my head around is:How badly did it fail, if Celestia was able to use the Elements against Luna? Shouldn't she have had countermeasures in place, since that is THE hammer ponies use?
She also came across as nonchalant about whether Celestia wanted her redeemed/purified, or killed.
I suspect the trees are going to be the lid for the schmooze in a can plan. Slow growing, steady, and almost impossible to actually kill. Plus, they are patient enough that they could literally seal every hole it makes, by virtue of a massive root system, or thick and heavy limbs and branches. Then again, this is based on a non-magical plants growth in a controlled environment on a small scale.
How to beat the schmooze. An explanation from an engineer in study who has an unhealthy obsession with military hardware, strategy, and howto guides.
Is probably the direction I could see them taking.
Ultimately, the Schmooze is a tank. It can't be harmed by conventional weaponry, environmental forces do have something of an impact but not too great of one if antimatter of all things isn't a surefire way of killing it, it's main defense is basically stripping everything good from those it's turned on; it's a water bear.
So, how do you beat the unbreakable shield if the all piercing sword fails to interact with it?
You suffocate the bearer of the shield. A shield can't work from all directions, to do so it must be armor, armor cannot protect from all sources of harm, it must seal itself, in doing this you've trapped the wearer and sealed them from the world. Thing is, people still need to breathe, they need to eat, shit, sleep, et cetera. If the shield allows oxygen to come through, poison them with it. If it vents heat, seal the armor and let them cook themselves alive.
We don't have all the details but we do know one thing. The Schmooze can be cryogenically frozen. It can be trapped and contained within a jar of ice. Remember that Mark Twain quote I made? This looks like a case of "I'm not trapped here with you, you're trapped here with me." Question is, what kind of "acid" is there that could kill the Schmooze?
How would a pony even ride a bicycle?
Democracy in a nutshell, that.
This is something I also very much like to say. Active cruelty is, at least, cruelty against a person, who has feelings that matter, even if only to hurt them. Apathetic cruelty is cruelty the perpetrator doesn't even care enough about to enjoy the suffering they inflict. It's not even really cruelty at all. It's just damaging a thing. The latter is ultimately the more harmful.
It'd be nice if he told us, because it's obnoxious and made me think you couldn't keep the name of your own monster straight for months.
Alright, now that's just hilarious.
I think you're skipping over some important details. Things like why there's a Tear Twirler that's disconnected from the other Tear Twirlers. Why are you skipping over events?
Some really classic lines today.
How to have fun with a Hive mind. One Pinkie? Oh no, this is serious. A dedicated Pinkie for each and every subunit. Even if they are Changelings and dont have her Total and Complete power. I mean, I suspect even The Big Guy would be somewhat wary of asking her to give a slide show demonstration of The Schmooze, Parties, and Historical Black Holes, accidentally back transitioning the Schooze into Sagitarius A* and leaving it there.
Have they checked the old volcano, as Molly B should be in the last place they look?
Griffin with a Pink Flamethrower? May the Schwartz be with you, especially with Discord going to Plaid.
If the smart trees get to spread, maybe by forced seed distribution and crystal communications, end up with a large chunk of Arborea, or even Midworld?
Despite what Tom thinks, Id have thought a nice total conversion shower would get things roasting, as Gammas are line of sight and so would be well below? the horizon in surrounding occupied lands and so tehrefore above the horizon? Especially if The Big Guy is doign what I think he is going to do and get Celestia to totally completely and utterly unleash, not her Magic, on the Schmooze, but her magic manipulated raw solar plasma.
How to uttely vapourise hundreds of square miles of resistant matter? Use a weapon that can vapourise utterly square miles of resistant matter. Especially if you have more than enough for the volume of material required.
Having Twilight create a wormhole or singularity might be slightly too dangerous as needing the direction away from the planet before it evaourates after eating the Schmooze. Or falls and slowly eats the planet.
If youre going to feed power from th drive to the shields, might as well make them plasma shields, that way the harder you drive the engines, the more plasma exhaust yo have to fill the compression shield and the more power you have to confine it. when it becomes too higly stressed? release teh outer shiled which is the harder to sustain anyway, and watch your ship supernovae clear the surroundings. Will be all sorts of intresting isotopes left behind to research as well.
That's some good writing. I like that writing. Gonna need some more, just like always.
Another amazing chapter, as usual.:D
Nice and deep.
I remember reading this in AiE threads over on /mlp/ before I started reading it here when it started getting posted. Then for some reason I stopped reading it. I just now got a notice about it and remembered how I liked the story. I guess I need to start at chapter one again sice I've mostly forgotten it.
7314798 Watch out for Chapter 5.
7312610 Nightmare Moon corrupted her:
She is nonchalant about it, because she's looking at it in hindsight, and discussing it with Nightmare/Hotaru whom she loathes. She's also hoping to help evoke the same epiphany in her sister, so rational discussion is warranted
.
7312736 7313436 Actually, it's a lake. How do you 'kill' a lake? The Tsar Bomba with the third stage enabled comes to mind, but there are consequences, a whole lot of small matter/anti-matter charges is another answer, but has the same consequences, the fallout. Little bits of (possibly radioactive) Schmooze raining down all over.
Also, the Schmooze was temporally (I didn't misspell temporarily) frozen, not cryogenically. Time not temperature froze it.
7312761 Bicycles: Pinkie copter comes to mind.
Democrat: when is it ever not nuts? (When compared to any other government system).
Smooze/Shmooze/Schmooze: Tear Twirler gives you part of the answer:
There must have been a lesser stage than Shmooze, but it hasn't been discussed. Me make a mistake, surely you jest I don't make mistakes, I give tests to see if you're all paying attention.
Nudism as fashion: Can't you see Celestia pulling the 'Emperor's New Clothes' trick on the uber-fashion-conscious nobles?
7313171 To make you come back and read the next chapter. I could write a chapter that would include all the answers, but it would be about a million words long.
7313436 Hotaru/Nightmare already know where Molly B's hide out is. From Chpt 38:
As I mentioned above, it's not blowing it up, it's killing it. If you blow it up, it comes down as lots of fallout, and it that's still alive you've just spread the problem (think Andromeda Strain).
7314064 7314149 7314726 Glad you liked it.
7315393
Oh, good point. I had forgotten about those.
Then again, Pinkie. I can never quite decide if other ponies are actually supposed to be having as much range of motion as she does.
As we say here where I live: "democracy is the worst form of government, except for all the others." Nobody may be happy with it, but it's still better than any alternative we have.
I can completely see her do that. The whole "everyone is nudist because Celestia went crazy and just stopped wearing clothes one day" angle actually makes it kind of depressing, though, even while the idea is kind of funny. That's very tragicomedy right there. Mental illness sucks.
7315393
I must have missed the temporally bit and am kind of slapping myself stupid over that.
I guess that also causes issues with the question of just what the Schmooze actually is, which I actually wish I knew. If its a lake, it's quite simple to kill, you simple react the water into something that isn't water. If the Big Guy plans on using Celestia, then you could make it evaporate, if it is water of course, and if she is able to summon heat the equivalent to the temperature of the sun, then you could simply split the hydrogen and oxygen and burn the gasses into plasma, or if you want to get dangerous, nuclear fusion is always an option.
Burning hydrogen to fuel the change, turn the oxygen into fluoride, any leftover reactants are simply impurities you can either further react, any leftover magical residue? Well thank god you have access to a being that gets swole from it, though that delves into the nature of magic and if it can have a positive or negative correlation on a morality axis, though we've seen that yes, there are different kinds of magic with regular and chaos magic. The energy required would be astronomical though, but when you have two reality warpers on hand, one of which can make anti matter which should, by all rights, be impossible to form within the confines of this universe, that might not be an issue if they can be the subtle nudge in the right places needed to suddenly cause this pile of goo to turn into rock.
And when high level magic is being used, and the rules of reality start breaking down, who's to say cold fusion isn't a possibility?
But again, that hinges on what exactly makes up the Schmooze, but I don't think Moly considered the possibility of having her WMD suddenly be reorganized into one massive rock, maybe by petrification through magic, but not by nudging one little atom here, mess around with an electron there, make the entire area here completely cut off from the rest of the universe as a closed system so the energy has nowhere to go...
Hooray for thought experiments!
7315448
I think It would be more like her wearing clothes to help her little ponies feel good, while hating every second of it, then finding Flim and Flam's ancestors and rather than having them stoned to death for whatever scam they'd been working, she lays out the scam and tells them if they can convince the Royal Court (or at least a portion of it) of the wonderfulness of their 'new fashion', she'll give them exile rather than execution.
The torc she still wears is the 'collar' of the dress she was supposedly wearing.
7315579 Problem is three-fold:
First, it's immune to any internal magic effects, and extremely resistant to any physical effects.
Second, it's huge and you have to completely destroy it either all at once or section by section, any fallout will just spread it around. Since you have to get it all, you have to get a whole bunch of unassimilated perimeter as well. Setting off a nuke inside it, fine. Setting off a hundred around its perimeter, not fine.
Third, only Tom and the Big Guy are both powerful enough and unfazed by it, so that limits your options, and as powerful as Tom is, he's only a spark of Discord's inferno. Celestia dropping the sun on it would have dire effects on her, the sun, and the countryside.
Considering the sun and moon are in orbit around the planet, it's possible the Schmooze is larger than the sun.
The sun and the moon on our world are apparently the same size because of their relevent positions and their actual sizes so their diameters are the same arc-length from the surface of our world. If the sun and moon on Equestria orbit at 110 miles (the edge of space) the Schmooze is definitely larger than they are.
7315654
Ah, so it's not so much a disappearing lake act as "ladies, look to your planet, now back to me, the surface of the Earth and all its oceans is now Mars~"
Time is also an issue. This is a ticking timebomb and the wonders of duct tape lie in the adhesive not the cloth, so no matter how much you try to patch things up, it'll only last for so long.
And another issue I kind of just realized is what would happen were antimatter charges were to be employed. Given we know the given distance of the sun and moon and account for the fact that both are being held in perfect geosynchronous orbit, they're probably being held in place not just rotated by the Alicorn's magic.
Effectively, it's the added mass of the schmooze that's keeping the two planetary bodies in place, though this causes issues in other ways where how the schmooze has added mass to the plane, but in any case, the removal of this mass could cause sudden shifts in the planet's orbit, where in worse case scenario, i could definitely see the dual pull of gravity upon both sides of the planet causing it to be pulled apart.
And If you look for an answer in the form of a weapon, nukes don't look to be much better given the magnitude of atomic weaponry. The H-bomb is about 1,000 times more powerful than fatman and with Antimatter bombs being considered pointless because of them not being a sure fire way of defeating the schmooze, despite them being about 9 magnitudes more powerful, given anti matter bombs perfect conversion rate of energy.
Or do you kill it? Removing it from existence has bad implications. Letting it sit won't work, regardless of the amount of duct tape you slap on. And if it was made from within a Volcano, guess that means that there is the possibility of it running all the way to the core of the planet.
I got to wonder though. If you look at this from a matter vs. anti mater perspective, with the Schmooze effectively causing all living beings to turn sociopathic, and back to the Mark Twain analogy of poison, what would pure changeling honey do? It is essentially the antithesis to Schmooze, love, care, genuine feelings of hope, made manifest through magic. If love, not anger in this case, acts as an acid that does more damage to the vessel and ultimately from what Tom implies, the hope is to reseal the Well and poison the reservoir, is that the answer to effectively killing it?
Course, you still need to shove all of evil back into Pandora's box before you can throw the FOOF in. I could see the shield that is generated by the ship playing some part into this. Something was mentioned about reversing the polarity and all that good technobabble. If Discord is an inferno, can you tap into that inferno to power a generator or just break down the laws of physics and use the inferno as raw energy? Ultimately, the schmooze is immune to internal magic, so you must control it externally.
I may have been wrong with my sword and shield analogy, the schmooze might be the all piercing sword in this case, but if an all piecing sword and unbreakable shield fail to interact with each other, how about an all piercing sword and an almost unbreakable shield? As in the only thing that could ever cut it would be the sword but it ever has enough strength to it that it could halt the sword forever? Like it's strength is low enough it can be cut, but you can essentially split infinity, indefinitely.
If the schmooze reacts weakly with physical forces, then why not force an infinite amount of the weak force against it, in an infinite quantity against it effectively creating a strong force?
Effectively the Soviet Union's zerg tactics and the source of their power and reason for victory against the Nazis. Didn't matter if they had better arms, better armor, better tactics, at some point, you've got to reload, the Armor needs to refueled, and something is going to run out and cause it to give into the waves of bodies before you. A rock in a stream will eventually be worn of all sharp surfaces after all.
7315393 I suppose that makes sense.
I love this story! And that Apocalypse Now reference...
Paddy O' Furniture, is that you?
7315615
The punishment sounds more vicious than I can imagine this story's Celestia having the nerve for, but otherwise, I can actually see her do that.
7318821 It would have been very early, as the ponies had come off their tribal war. Like the Code of Hammurabi, it was lenient for it's time.
7318849
Fair point.
No matter how horrified the ponies are with Big Guy's plans, they still always end up playing their parts.
Is building a nation supposed to resemble a giant Millgram experiment?
7319543 Forming a government is always a matter of unseemly compromises:
That others are willing to work them out and allow others to play their parts is probably a relief.
van Dyke
dais
whom
7312480 Huh. I did not know that. Reminds me of George Orwell's essay Lear, Tolstoy and the Fool, in which Orwell states that while Tolstoy had renounced violence, he did not renounce coercion. Orwell then brings up a hypothetical family where the father threatens a misbehaving child with a thick ear, while "the mother, her eyes brimming over with tears, will take the child in her arms and murmur lovingly, ‘Now, darling, is it kind to Mummy to do that?’", and then asks if the mother's way is any less tyrannical then the father's.
As for dealing with the Schmooze, well, drinking too much water will kill you, breathing too much oxygen will kill you, ingesting too much vitamin A will kill you. What does the Schmooze eat?
Thank you for another chapter. I continue to love and be confused by this.
7326677 That's a funny way to spell Bernie Sanders, if it's an anagram you're doing it wrong.
7326819
No...... Solomon..... you know, from the Bible?
7328979 DJ_Arashi_Rora - Solomon
DJ_Arashi_Rora
A - 3
R - 3
D - 1
H - 1
I - 1
J - 1
O - 1
S - 1
Solomon
O - 3
L - 1
M - 1
N - 1
s - 1
Nope, still don't see it.
7312610
You know I actually don't find her reason all that out there honestly, I have had the notion that she was projecting her own fears/anxieties/self loathing onto others ever since Luna Eclipsed and it just ate away at her in a vicious cycle, she never went for help because she did not think she deserved it, and we saw the result in the flashback. For me that was all but confirmed in Do Princesses Dream of Magic sheep. I admittedly have slight issues along those lines so I could be projecting myself as well.
7315841
You know I am starting to believe we will never be free of Manstein and Halder, I guess we still have a lot of work to do to undo decades of cold war propaganda and a historiography of the eastern front based on self serving books written by German officers who where all willing to find any excuse to explain their defeat (mostly Hitler) or the "Asiatic Hoards" myth. That and the Clean wehrmacht are two of my biggest pet peeves. Anyway if your interested (and have an hour and a half) this lecture is by no means exhaustive but I feel it does a good job of debunking many misconceptions about that theater of the war....you did manage to hit a lot of them sorry to say. Although he is more generous with regards to the German generals motives than I am.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I98P1AxQRUM
Sorry to the author that was off topic I know.
7331886 I probably should edit my previous comment or something. I think I somehow got her current motivations mixed up with her...first rebellion?
Probably because during that conversation Luna admitted that Celestia hadn't gotten better, maybe even got worse, since her time.
Also, now that I remember it, WTF was up with Nightmare Moon? In one breath Luna claims she didn't care if no one enjoyed her night as long as they didn't complain. next breath she admits to Cutie Mark Insanity Syndrome as being the foot in the door the Nightmare needed.
7332116
She explains it here.
It was her not her night that ponies had the problem with.
Celestia was Jim Hacker and Luna was Sir Humphrey Appleby
7332268 So ponies blamed her for death and taxes, while Celestia got praise for things being peaceful?
7331886
I do know what deep battle was, and for the most part, the Soviets did win because of sheer numbers due to a serious case of Stalin-killed-all-the-fucking-good-officers. It was ultimately this combined with the absurdly amazing capabilities on the T-34 and Soviet Russia being the first to adopt Snipers as an occupation, that the Soviet Union was able to make up for the fact that 90% of all their upper officers, generals and people who understood deep battle, had been executed on Stalin's order.
Zerg tactics came about from the death count at a tune of 25 million, and Stalin's complete uncaring attitude towards conscripts because, you know, they were conscripts who were also found to be poorly trained, somewhat armed, poorly disciplined and were able to function so well for what they were because of fanatical zeal mixed with a heavy dosage of propaganda spurred by the same sentiment that brought about the cold war "better dead than red" attitudes only against the Nazis thanks to the very recent Bolshevik revolution.
The reason why the Nazis lost on the eastern front was because they tried to fight a war on three fronts, and the old Nazi generals, Hitler included, were a bunch of fucking fudds who liked to reminisce of the old days. Which caused issues in different areas, including strategically and ESPECIALLY technologically speaking when some of the younger officers and enlisted rank started demanding shit like the STG44 because lo and behold, it worked better for their Blitzkrieg tactics but because of classical thinking, was repeatedly delayed. Not to mention that by the war, their entire agricultural system was fucked beyond repair.
Russia ultimately survived on numbers, if they didn't have them, there would have been no way they'd survive the purging of the officer rank.
7332932
Yikes I really hope your intentionally oversimplifying for the sake of time/space but I find myself taking issue with your conclusions more then I would agree. First you wont get any argument from me about the T-34, damn good tank nor would I disagree with the fact that the purging of the Red Army greatly delayed their modernization programs and crippled their ability to respond to Barbarossa, their really should be no controversy to those notions, I also agree, the German generals left MUCH to be desired.
Where you lose me is here
Why would you combine Soviet military and civilian casualty totals and use that figure as evidence for 'Zerg' like tactics? I really hope you aren't being intentionally dishonest
The rest of your section on the Soviet soldiers, well we will probably wont agree on any of it, I really do think you are buying at least partially into some long standing myths. I will say this though, you really should not be ignoring what I think is the key motivation for the Red Army to fight as they did. Their home land was suffering a massive invasion by a army whose goal was to slaughter anywhere from 70% to 90% of your own people (depending on their need for slaves and such) from Germany to the Urals.
I also cant disagree strongly enough with your use of "Zerg" to describe the main way in which they thought, I mean you were way off on the casualty figures so you might want to rethink your assessment. Did the Soviets have more men? Yes of course they did, did they take advantage of that strength? obviously yes, did they use human wave tactics? yes there were some very desperate times in 41-and 42, did they primarily defeat the Wehrmacht by throwing endless waves of bodies at them until the Germans ran out of bullets like you said? No that's madness. I don't think I need to explain their Echelon doctrine to you, but I think the myth of the Human waves throne at German guns by uncaring officers comes from when Soviet attacks failed. In any event "zerg' would imply an unthinking hoard throwing itself at the enemy and that was defiantly not the case.
Honestly the reason the German lost on the eastern front was because they decided to fight the Soviet Union in the first place. Nazi Germany as it existed had no chance of defeating Britain, got a lot of help from the French in their own defeat. They simply did not have the economy or logistical capacity to achieve their aim, even if by magic Britain negotiated and they did not get distracted by Rommel's blunders in North Africa, I would contend that their was never a realistic possibility victory.
While I generally scoff at the notions of Nazi wonder weapons and super science, I will grant the STG 44 was pretty good, but it could never have been a major factor in the outcome of the war. At best it would be a tactical problem and tactical problems have tactical solutions, the Germans were already beat at the operations and strategic levels. Even if the Germans introduced it in 41 they would have never been able to produce enough to make a difference, I mean I think it took like 20 years for the Americans to produce 4 million M1s. I would argue any tactical benefit it would have provided would have never gotten close to compensating for trying to switch from the tried and true Karabiner 98k to a whole new weapon with a new cartridge in mid conflict to an already impossible logistical nightmare. That's not to say German procurement in the war was not a total mess but I would be hard pressed to agree that was a result of 'classical thinking'.
Yes the USSR had a numerical advantage, and that was a vital part of its victory, I mean it should go without saying the Soviets based their strategy on the fact that they had a lot of men and a lot of land, and one could argue that numbers where why it survived 41, 42, I honestly would be more inclined to say space and the time it provided where more important. But to simply say that they relied on zerg tactics ignore just how much the Red Army improved, from its low point during Barbarossa to, I would argue the masters of armored/mechanized warfare by the end of the war.
.....sorry that went on longer than I intended, ill stop now if you want
7334628
On Zerg? Simple, numbers were used to make up for inexperience. The Soviet infantry was just simply subpar up until 1944, as far as I know, while the more elite divisions, like Armor, specifically Tanks, were very well trained, about as well as the US or Germany, which was quintessential to Deep War, having well trained armor.
And are you implying that there wasn't some sort of political propaganda element to these beliefs? Along with Stalin riding the high horse? Everybody knew how cut throat Stalin was. He was insane enough to execute 90% of his Officer Rank, among those being the few he had who knew Deep War and were able to teach it. Fear and Patriotism was sown within the rank, and was a pressing issue among the conscripted forces. You do what Stalin tells you to do, you don't die by his hands and you get to kill dirty Fascists who are, as everyone is telling you, is no different than that bastard Tsar your father helped oust with the Bolsheviks.
And I'd have to argue that ultimately, while the Germans wouldn't be able to reach into the UK, Hitler didn't need to. He controlled much of Europe, but outdated hardware, yes the STG would have been massive for the Nazi forces universally, because the level of production and manufacture is an order easier than machining bolt actions, the larger mags and lighter rounds allowed for the carrying of more ammo and faster troops. The Nazis would have easily outgunned everybody from the US to the Brits to the Soviets. The STG was being used in the same manner as Assault Rifles are being used today. That, above all else, would have made the fight easier for them in the long run, saving bodies, time and resources. And they did have some working models of the STG by around mid 1930, but these were delayed mostly by Hitler and his echelon who didn't like the STG model of rifle finding it to be something completely different than the G98 they all carried in WW1. But I agree, they couldn't ever hope to achieve any victory against the Soviets that wasn't a pyrrhic victory that'd sooner burn them out. Hitler was gunning for the long run and was prepared for it, but took too much on too soon.
I don't know though. Ultimately, the Russian officer rank and file had to rely on drowning the enemy in more bodies than the enemy had bullets for much of the war, and even when the Infantry rank and file became trained well enough that they weren't just dirt farmers given a Mosin, Deep War still relied on a massive pool of forces, which Stalin had no care whether they lived nor died.
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I hope you wont take this as an insult since it is not intended as such and I know you don't have any reason to believe me since you don't know me but most of what you typed strikes me as being based off historiography from 1945 to sometime in the mid to late 90s. If you where simply talking about that first year and a half of the invasion I would agree, the Red Army was not ready, no experienced leadership and deployed in poor positions, and yes when Armageddon got unleashed on them there were desperate actions taken to hold the Germans off, and thanks to Stalin's insane orders (during his mental breakdown) of continuous counter attacking no matter the situation of their flanks things got real bad.
The thing to rember Sovite casualties were very front loaded, ill use Glantz's 10 million military dead figure for the sake of argument rather than Overy's 8.6ish I prefer. Of that 10 million you had about 3 million in 41 (not a full year) about 3million in 42 about 2 million in 43 around 1.5 in 44 and 600 thounand in 45 with an average total monthly strength of 3 million in 41 and 6.5 million in 44-45 and for comparison using Krivosheev's figures the death ration is 1.3 to 1, I am more than willing to forgive the first year and a half honestly.
Now I wont dispute German tactical superiority, atleast until it degraded sometime in 43-44 but the Sovites did train their men, even fresh conscripts and thanks to their numerical advantage they were rotated out for rest, Stalin was terrible but folks in the Red Army such as Zukov (propoably) weren't or at least were not idiots after 41-42, yes their were hard lessons to be learned but they did learn them, and when things failed they failed spectacularly, but I would argue that the decline death rate indicates not only the decline in German capabilities but the Red Army getting smarter and using their men better. I suppose I should ask when you say Zerg do you mean to imply a near unthinking Human wave or that the Soviets were able to concentrate overwhelming force for their offensive operation?
As for Soviet weaponry, at the start of the war, they had something like 12 million of their standard issue rifle and a good number of their newer semi automatic rifle, (most of those were lost during Barbarossa) but they were very comparable to the Germans (this was not my specialty) and their war industry was insane (there were some hickups as they moved it across the Urals) there is really no comparison even to the US, hell even by the time Lend Lease supplies arrived they had already stopped the main German advances
Of course there was propaganda, and lots of it, I may have come on strong their but so often I see this double standard of people holding of the Volkssturm up as some sort of romantic image of a brave but hopeless final stand while Soviets acting similar out of desperation are see as them only doing so because of brainwashing or force not out of their own patriotism and desire to defend their families and homes. The Germans were not being subtle about the rape and genocide after all, the retreating army and fleeing civilians saw exactly what they were doing and word spread.
So I will defer to you on how easy it world be to machine the new gun and ammunition (not even my field) the thing to rember is Germany was bankrupt by the START of the war, they had the same debt to GDP ratio that the US had at the end of the war (120%), they had already spent so much on rearming, they could have afforded to switch over and they really did not have the time, it was either invade Poland now or the economy collapses completely again. I have to reemphasize just how poor the Germans were at logistics, and how utterly incompetent they were when managing their production (did not set themselves on a total war footing till 44) I just can't see the switch over helping them rather that hasten their collapse. Another problem I have with your argument is that it seems to assume that Germany's opponents would not adapt, hell the west was holding some of their toys back because they did not want the Sovites to know they had them, so I cant see that tactical advantage lasting long.
Heh the funny thing is that this is only half right, he was gunning for the long term but he was not prepared for it at all, the Nazi's had wrecked their economy and fired the guy who was actually fixing it when he argued that the should not blow all their money on rearmament. This forced them to start the war when they did, they needed to start looting other counties for money and resources to keep things running. Germany's potential opponents were getting their heads out of their asses by that point as well and Hitler, rightly believed that if they did not go now their opportunity would be lost as the rest of the world would be to strong to even try to fight. It was not a matter of taking on to much to soon, it was always a mad man's ambition and he went for it at the last possible moment he could have had even a pipe dream for success. The only winning move was to not even try but then Hitler would not have been Hitler and we would not be having this conversation.
Finally I would never pretend that Stalin cared about anymore except possibly his wife (but he may or may not have had her killed, so ya...) and I think we may have been talking past each other here or using different terms because the Soviets defiantly took advantage of their numbers but I will argue till I'm blue in the face that they did not just send human waves at their enemy till they ran out of bullets, they 'spent' their men as best they could gave them massive artillery and armor support, took massive efforts to trick the Germans (who full for it so often, ya racism), even if was just for practical reasons it really seems to me like they did try to keep as many alive as possible. I also look to the battle of France for back up to my belief that time and space being just as if not more important that the number of bodies you have, to stopping the Germans, as time went on the French started to figure the Germans out and casualties started to mount even after Dunkirk, (Really don't like Petain)
sorry for the wall of text
I wonder if the schmooze could somehow, be propelled off the planet ?
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Too heavy for conventional rockets and immune to many magics.
[ Everyone liked that ]
Usable, they will be - you measure "usability" by whether they have the "damage the enemy" quality. How much damage they do, however, is effectiveness, and I'd expect them to be not very in that regard.
I can appreciate them going for the "death of a thousand cuts" approach, but there has to be limited viability there... They're grasping at straws... though I honestly can't say I blame them. It's "do or die" time, the flood is coming and it doesn't care if they're ready for it or not. Still... Any plan better than this, any plan at all.
10490202 Don't forget the Schmooze freeze, you have to be a certain distance away, so even a one-hit-kill that you can't use is not usable.
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Glad you liked it.