• Member Since 8th Oct, 2012
  • offline last seen Apr 15th, 2020

Martian


He's just this guy, you know?

E
Source

Everyone changes, sometimes for the better.

{{ An unofficial prologue to Your Antagonist's spectacular 'The Serenade of Silver Belles' }}

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 31 )

looks good, i'll read it once i get the time

Normally I'm not one to like Silver Spoon, but your portrayal of her is pretty good. This is a nice piece to give a bit of depth to her character too, I've given it a like.

I seriously love this. I know all too well what it is to immerse yourself in a project, put your heart into it -- only to be caught up short when you realize what the outcome must be.

Well damn. That was soul wrenching.

This is really thought provoking, I'll give you that. Made me realize I missed some really good aspects of Silver. I like that. Aside from that, this was masterfully written, and legitimately heart wrenching, good show.

Loathe,
Your Antagonist

1839549
Do it naow. :raritydespair:

1839685
Inspiration for it was entirely inspired by Your Antagonist's fic, and I really suggest you read it to understand just where I had gleaned this from! :twilightsmile:

1840007
Especially when you don't recognize that end until you are very nearly done... :heart:

1840142
:pinkiesmile:

1843490
Praise from Ceasar! :pinkiehappy:
Glad you didn't find it horrifically insulting. I really hope to see more in the Serenade from you. :twilightsmile:

Very impressive. Very impressive indeed. You captured the feeling and heart of a young filly caught in the moment of transition perfectly.

I especially like the metaphor the bracelet represents within the story, and its parallel to Silver Spoon herself. The blank, useless metal at the beginning, nothing more than a pretty decoration to impress those who can't, or won't, see any deeper into the bracelet's, or Silver's, true worth. The way the bracelet evolved and grew, becoming a true work of art under the hooves of a filly who grew just as much herself through the practice of her craft. The way that beauty was scarred by its association with, and memories of, another filly who was still unable to see past the unrefined metal it once was; a filly who would find that elegant bracelet to be "unacceptable" as it was, only worth anything if it was changed to match her views of "perfection". And the moment of final resolution; the scar, though never removed, is changed to become a part of the bracelet's final design and ultimate, true perfection. People say that when an artist creates, they put a piece of their soul into their work; that sometimes the things they create have a power and life of their own. It's because of stories like this that people say those things.

There is only one tiny, insignificant thing that I can critique about this story: the moment when Silver Spoon smashes the diamonds. I love that moment, I adore it, and I hesitate as I write this in fear that anything I may say could ruin what you've created here. The moment should be more abrupt; should hit the reader as hard as the anvil striking the diamonds. As it is now, it's very good, but it almost eases into it and lets the reader know what's about the be destroyed before the anvil actually falls.

You have the lead up perfectly. Even though we know Silver isn't going to crush the bracelet that is herself, there's always that nagging voice of doubt. What if the scar is too deep? What if she isn't able to get past what Diamond Tiara has caused her to become? So when she brings the anvil down, the moment when she chooses to crush the diamonds, that should ring to the reader as clearly as the sound of the falling bracelet did to Silver. As it is, having the revelation of her choice and the destruction itself split into two separate lines dulls that sense of a perfect moment of ringing clarity. I have no idea how to write it better than what you already have, and I fear that changing anything might ruin what is already so close to perfection, but there you go. Do with it what you will.

1853270
Funny thing; the anvil scene was the hardest to write; I tried three or four different variations to try and get the right feel and flow, and this was the best of them, to me. I might tinker with it again now that I have a few days separation from working on it; a fresh look might make it work.

As for the rest of your review: :heart:

Still awestruck by your fantastic work.

This is a brilliant insight into a side character that completely makes the reader rethink things. Once again, as with every story I've read of yours, every sentence is golden and the words flow so smoothly... so damn smoothly...

Silver Spoon wasn't strong, nor was an anvil meant to be used as a hammer, but the gems she had found were tiny and few realize that for all their hardness, diamonds are very brittle indeed.

I remember reading this sentence right here, and I simply recall going "wow... so it all just comes crashing down to a bitter and disappointing end". That line was gorgeous. It perfectly summarizes all of the thoughts of her so called "friend", even how she feels about her own self.

The bracelet was ingenious. Such a fine craft that requires the perfection and grace of an expert artisan. It is so elegant, and it matched Silver Spoon's character quite well.

It's strange to feel sorrow for a character in the show you would otherwise dislike. Masterfully done, I salute you.

- Church

This was an incredibly well done piece. Thank you. :twilightsmile:

Cool story, Brony. :raritywink: Loved it in it's own right, and it really does do a great job as a prequel.

This story is very well written; I loved it. Cosmic Love is one of my favourite songs, and it was nice to see that you were so inspired by it.

1853520 i just read this and had to read the serenade all over again because it was just that good:twilightangry2:
so thank you thank you thank you:twilightsmile::rainbowkiss::pinkiehappy::derpytongue2:

Yeah... Yeah, okay, that was kinda awesome.

Are you a Silversmith yourself? That was ridiculously detailed. I can't vouch for its verisimilitude since I know nothing of metalcraft, but it sounded correct to this layman of laymen.

2110624
Glad you enjoyed it! :twilightsmile:

Not a smith of any sort myself, though not from a lacking of wanting - I had a forge and everything ready to go years ago, but then I moved halfway across the continent and had to leave it all behind. I did a bit of research to get the tools and such right for this, though. :pinkiehappy:

Great read. Very deep.

2280401
I'm very glad you enjoyed it. :twilightsmile:

Very good and heart wrenching. The emotional monologues really sets Silver's sudden change of heart in the original fic. Nice work!

The ending really did it for me.
Really misty eyed now! Jeeeeze >.<
Great job though!

This is wonderful, seriously. Gems like this are why I read fanfics.

GRAAAAAAAAAAH. :raritydespair:

This. This... this was not typed. :heart:

You fucking tore your heart out of your chest, put it on the page, and walked away. :pinkiehappy:

I found the beginning of this story rather boring, and I even drifted off at one point, but once it got to Silver and her relationship with Diamond, it really picked up. I've never paid attention to Silver Spoon (in fact, I usully refer to her as "Diamond Tiara's friend"), but you made her an interesting character. Granted, homosexuality does tend to make a character more interesting, but the conflict she has being shackled to the harpy known as Diamond Tiara was surprisingly gripping. I didn't cry (because I'm a man :moustache:) but I could feel myself start to tear up when Silver was smashing the trinket in anger. I don't like the ending though. It wasn't bad, but it left me without closure. I was hoping she'd confront Diamond Tiara or give the bracelet to Dinky, but it just kind of...ended. Maybe I'm missing something (Are the bells significant in some way?), but it just felt like there needed to be more.
Side question: How the frell did this story get you blacklisted on Equestria Daily?

2690762
It wasn't so much the story as my reply to some of the 'reasons' they gave for the first strike. It was a long and tedious, and my frustration boiled down to childish words that I am not proud of, though still do hold to, somewhat. The fight ended when a different prereader stepped in and gave it a read. His thoughts were much the same as yours; the start is a bit slow, but otherwise he thought it was worthy of serious attention. He also thought the reasons given to me were pants-on-head demented.

I found the beginning of this story rather boring, and I even drifted off at one point, but once it got to Silver and her relationship with Diamond, it really picked up.

The start is supposed to be slow, in a way. I have been thinking on how to clean up the words a bit to make it flow better, but fact is that careful crafting is slow, tedious, and interesting only to the one doing it. Tricky to maintain the sense of dull greyness in Silver's world at that point without gutting the feel that I want to instill...

I don't like the ending though. It wasn't bad, but it left me without closure. I was hoping she'd confront Diamond Tiara or give the bracelet to Dinky, but it just kind of...ended. Maybe I'm missing something (Are the bells significant in some way?), but it just felt like there needed to be more.

There is. This story is just kind of a fan-prologue to someone else's fanfic. I did link it in the synopsis and the author's notes:

{{ An unofficial prologue to Your Antagonist's spectacular 'The Serenade of Silver Belles' }}

:twilightsheepish:

2690911 Well, now the open-ended ending makes more sense. And so, if I understand you correctly, you were going for somewhat of a dull atmosphere in the beginning possibly to reflect Silver's life with Diamond? I think, perhaps, cutting back on the descriptions of the tools Silver Spoon uses might help (that's the one thing I remember feeling impatient reading); however, anyone who isn't willing to read a 3700 word (about 8 pages, I'd say) story because the opening is slow is (pardon my language) an asshole.
Perhaps I found the opening duller than it actually is since I read it after reading 45 of backstory in Frankenstein; regardless, it was still a fantastic read, and your powers of imagery and pacing make me green with envy (Seriously, did it come with practice, or were you always this frelling amazing?). Anyone who decides not to read this because they "didn't like the beginning" is a prick.

2690911 For what it's worth, I really enjoyed this story, and honestly didn't mind the descriptions of her tools, and work. Maybe I'm an exception and not a rule, but I've always thought such expositions added a little... something to a story.

All in all, headcanon accepted. =3

Also, "silver bells"
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw4557-That_Was_Clever.jpg

While I like to think Diamond's friendship is genuine, and that she would try to change if Spoony revealed her feelings about bullying, I love this story. :pinkiehappy:

The detail you put into the making of the bracelet. How she started making it for a friend she didn't want anymore and in her anger and sorrow was able to change it's meaning and purpose was brilliant, tragic, and beautiful.:raritywink::raritydespair::raritystarry:

I shall indeed read Silver Belle's.

I do prefer DiamondSpoon as an OTP but SilverBelle does have a lovely ring to it, and they make a lovely couple:twilightblush:

Oh and OMG POOR Dinky!:applecry:

It had taken her weeks to built up the courage,

It should be build not built.

I see why you were proud of this piece. It fits perfectly with the story it's set to prequel while still being the kind of beautiful well thought out writing I came to expect from your other works.

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