Johnny Bravo and the flying donkey of doom
It was a beautiful, sunny day in Equestria. The birds were singing, the filly's were playing, and Rainbow Dash was napping. Of course none of this mattered to Twilight, who was currently reading about mythological creatures. She had just come across an interesting creature, one called a human. According to her book, they were closely related to monkeys and apes, but were far more intelligent, more so than even ponies, the dominant species of their world. They were expert builders and have often done what was believed to be impossible for them, such as flight. Twilight couldn't help but feel fascinated with them.
"Oh what I wouldn't give to meet a real life human," she said to herself as she finished the book and put it away, "to study their anatomy, their diet, and even have a intelligent conversation with it!" she couldn't help but become giddy at the idea. Little did she know she was about to get her wish.
-------------------------------
Rainbow Dash, as usual, was trying to take a nap after a hard days work of cloud patrol.
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHH-"
Sure, she had several while on the job, but seeing as how she could clear the sky in ten seconds flat, she felt that it was her right, nay, her-
"AAAAAHHHHHH-" DUTY to take several naps. Preferably on a cloud, or this case, a tree. After all, she had to stay in pique physical condition to properly arrange or destroy clouds, all the while giving orders to her subordinates.
"AAAAAHHHH-"
"SHUT UP!" so imagine her surprise, and totally justifiable anger, as a large screaming monkey appeared under HER tree and started screaming like a little girl. The monkey, thank Celestia, then ceased his(?) screaming, and stared back at her.
"Sorry little guy," the monkey said to her with a salute, "I'm just used to some kind of bodily harm whenever something strange-OOMPH!" he was interrupted by a rather large tree falling on his head, burying him into the ground all the way to his chest, with a rather large bump on his head, "Oooh mama," he groaned, this just wasn't his day. Before Rainbow Dash could check on the strange creature, Pinkie quickly bounced over to her friend.
"Dashie, are you alright!?" the pink pony questioned, "I felt my tail twitch, and I thought..." she stopped when she noticed Johnny with a tree in his hair, "Oh my gosh, are you alright?" she asked as she threw the tree off of him and pulled him out of the ground. At that moment, as she gazed upon the mysterious creatures gorgeous face, his massive pecs, and hair that could rival Elvis Horsley's, it felt as if her heart skyrocketed, and exploded in a dazzling display of hearts.
"I think so," Johnny replied as he shook his head a bit, "thanks for the assist lil pink donkey," Johnny smiled at the mare, causing her to blush uncontrollably.
"My friend is not a donkey!" Rainbow Dash yelled as she pushed her face against Johnny's, "you trying to start something, bub!?"
"Whoa there, lil flying donkey," Johnny said as he pushed Rainbow back, "first of all, don't call me bub. The name's Johnny, HOO HAA, Johnny Bravo, and second of all, don't breathe on me, you smell like skittles, and I hate the smell of skittles," Johnny said with a wrinkled up nose, infuriating her further.
"I...am not...A DONKEY!" she bellowed as she tackled the buffoon.
"OOMHP, AH MY SPINE, not the hair, NOT THE-AAAAAAAHHHHH!" the following beating was so traumatic that we had to censor it for our younger viewers. Sorry about that.
"Had enough, monkey?" she asked with a smirk on her face. But Johnny was not done, at all.
"Now listen here, you living bag of skittles," he taunted as he got back up, "I don't care if you can fly, and I don't care if you can talk, no one, and I mean no one, touches the hair!" the two lunged at each other, intending to rip the other's throat out. However, Pinkie stepped in between the two, halting their advances.
"Pinkie, what are you-"
"Hey there, you sexy stallion," Rainbow Dash could have sworn her jaw dropped to the floor, "if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together."
"PINKIE WHAT THE HAY ARE YOU DOING?"
"Whoa there, lil pink donkey, I'm not really into-"
"Hey sexy, I'm so sweet my teeth are filled with cavities," Rainbow Dash resisted the urge to hurl, while Johnny could only raise an eyebrow.
"...I could have sworn I used that pick up line somewhere," he muttered to himself, "listen, pink donkey, I'm flattered really, it's just, you're a donkey, and I'm a human, I can't possibly-" before he could finish, Pinkie shushed him with her hoof.
"Shh, my sexy little chimpanzee," she cooed, "I have a very special present, for my very special friend. Meet me at my place, and I'll throw you a private party, just the two of us, and I'll give you your present," she winked seductively, and proceeded to bounce away. Johnny couldn't help but shudder at the thought of what her 'present' was.
"This is easily the most creepiest thing that has ever happened to me," he said to himself after the pink mare bounced away humming to herself. Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash had finally found her voice again, and could only say one thing.
"...I think I'm going to puke,"
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Pinkie always did have weird tastes.
No doubt the funniest thing I read all day.
"Oh what I wouldn't give to meet a real life human," she said to herself as she finished the book and put it away, "to study their anatomy, their diet, and even have a intelligent conversation with it!" she couldn't help but become giddy at the idea. Little did she know she was about to get her wish.
...to even have an intelligent conversation with it...
...Little did she know she was about to get her wish...
HA HA
0_o
poor johnny boy
Do the monkey with me!
Ahahahahhahaahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahha*Breathe in* Ahahahaahahahahahahahhhhahhahhahahahahaahhahahahahahaahahhahaahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhaaahahaahahaha.....
*Phew* Okay, that was hilarious to read, you really captured Johnny's personality there (What little he has, hehe). And Pinkie finds him attractive? I can see it now, the chase scenes, just like Pepe the skunk, and the black cat. He is never going to get away from her.
Oh God. My sides. Only rarely will fanfics actually make me laugh out loud! :rainbow laugh:
Kudos bro! MAKE MOAR
I like Pinkie's pick up line. Might want to try that out.
Wow did not see that coming. Why is it that the most luck Johnny has with women is usually outside his species?
HAH! You sir, are a freaking comedic genius!
I see Johnny's luck with furry/animal chicks kicked in again.
Is Pinkie insane!?
Oh wait, stupid question, right. Anyways, Johnny's in Equestria for 2 seconds and he's already neck-deep in trouble. The party Pinkie kind.
I can't wait for Johnny to meet Twilight, I bet that it'll be alot of facepalming from Twi's side (
) 
WTF did i just read.
1872503 Something glorious.
1872948
You're so right.
affordablehousinginstitute.org/blogs/us/wp-content/uploads/brilliant_681.jpg
Wonderful idea! Wish I thought of it myself.
1884445
And I'm going to stay as far away from you as possible...
O_o pinkie FTW. i should punch this fic writer in the face but i want to see where this story is going.
btw MFW:
s5.favim.com/orig/51/little-wonders-blog-moustache-the-fuck-dafuq-Favim.com-558378.jpg
and then i was like
static2.fjcdn.com/comments/Agreed+and+it+s+like+5+dollars+a+fucking+jar+Dafuq+_ac787820941fa32e331faa5bd54ae6da.jpg
>> Mattricole
you better
1884462
You must be saying some horrible things because your comments are being deleted before I can read them which kind of sucks 'cause they could be helpful.
Twilight is going to be so disappointed, lol.
donkey of doom indeed
Man I loved this chapter!
I laughed all the time.
I must admit I watched an episode of Johnny bravo before reading this just to be able to remember his voice and his antics.
I must say it helped a lot to understand the awesomeness of this chapter.
Johnny always did have a way with animals
Oh wow, this is gonna get pretty interesting.
Alright, I think I'm going to be reading the rest of this story now.