Chapter Seven – Casting
Chapter Seven – Casting
The door had hardly been closed five minutes when it reopened and Celestia stepped out.
“Come, Twilight. We have made a decision.”
The unicorn obeyed, and followed her teacher into the darkness beyond the door. The room brightened the moment she passed the doorway as if a veil fell away from her eyes. The room was about half the size as the one she just left, and decorated with the same bare stone. There was no furniture. It was replaced by a large circle of emerald powder that was surrounded in strange runes made of finely crushed ruby. The circle glittered and sparkled – and strangely enough, glowed slightly.
The alicorns each stood in a corner, facing inwards to the center of the circle. Clockwise from Twilight’s left was Luna, Cadence, Chrysalis, and finally Celestia on her right. The unicorn paused just inside the door before shutting it behind her. The clang as it fell into place filled her with a sense of finality. This was the end for her. Either her future as an alicorn or future as a mortal unicorn would end here.
She noticed four empty rings of emerald dust in the center of the circle, spaced perfectly as if for the hooves of a perfectly average sized pony. Twilight slowly clopped over to them, being careful to avoid stepping on any of the gemstone dust on the floor. Her hoof gently lowered into the rings one by one, each fitting perfectly and not requiring her to stretch to fill them all. After checking that she was in place and had not ruined any of the casting circle she turned to her mentor, located behind her rear-rightward flank.
“Twilight Sparkle.” Celestia’s voice filled the room, seeming to come from both everywhere and nowhere. Her mouth did not move, but her horn was glowing slightly. Twilight glanced around and saw the others had a similar light around their horns. “We, the alicorn council, have assembled today to invite a newcomer into our fold. She has shown her merit and is now presented to you, sisters, for you to vote upon. I, Princess Celestia of the Sun, vote in favour of Twilight Sparkle.”
Princess Luna spoke next. Well, not really. Her voice filled the chamber next, but her mouth was also not moving. “We, Luna of the Moon, vote in favour of Twilight Sparkle.”
Twilight turner her head around to follow who she assumed was the source of each voice. “I, Cadence of the Heart, vote in favour of Twilight Sparkle.”
“I, Chrysalis of concealment, vote in favour of Twilight Sparkle.”
“The votes have been cast, and Twilight Sparkle has been found eligible to continue.” Celestia’s voice continued. Magical tendrils spread from each of the alicorns and intertwined around Twilight. “Twilight Sparkle, do you swear to use your enhanced powers for the defense of the weak and serving your fellow pony? To protect the inhabitants of Equestria, be they under your rule or not?”
Celestia’s white head signalled the unicorn to answer. “Um… Yes? I suppose?” she cleared her throat before trying again, “Yes, Princess.”
“Then show us what you have learned, Twilight. We will be here to guide you in your efforts, but the magic will be under your sole control.” The white alicorn levitated out the box that contained the Elements of Harmony and opened it in front of Twilight. “Twilight, take your element.”
She obeyed and gently placed the jewel encrusted tiara on her head. She stared forward at the stone wall while she awaited further instruction. The box was pulled away and put down near the door.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Chrysalis spoke this time. “We will not think less of you if you choose to stay a unicorn. At worst you will have to come back should you change your mind.”
This was it. Twilight’s choice. Her really, really, really big choice. She was not sure if she wanted this change. How would her friends react? She closed her eyes to aid in her concentration and she started sweating slightly from the stress.
Rainbow Dash would stay loyal to her, and by extension her decision. On the other hoof, she might see it as a betrayal of her loyalty.
Pinkie Pie would throw a party in celebration of her new form. Or would she see it as losing a friend, complete with the mental breaks that accompanied Pinkie Pie losing a friend?
Rarity would be eager for an opportunity to create dresses for Twilight Sparkle the Alicorn. However, she might decide contorting oneself into an alicorn is ‘unfabulous’ or some such.
Applejack would see the practical purpose of changing to continue her studies, but might not understand the need for more magic, an already foreign concept to the earth pony.
Fluttershy would be happy for Twilight to advance, especially if it made the unicorn happy. The risk was that her new form would intimidate the timid pegasus and scare her further away.
Twilight saw potential for both good and bad result with her friends. Was the risk of losing her friends worth gaining more power? No matter how they treated her after Changing, she would eventually lose them to the slow decay of time.
She assumed that Spike would stand by her, especially if they were both going to live for eternity. Then again, he might leave when he got older. He would have no need for a caretaker.
What about if she didn’t change? Would her friends think she made the wrong choice? Would it be right to tell them that this meeting even occurred? Could she live a lie to all of her friends?
These thoughts and many more plagued Twilight as she stood there in the middle of the magical casting circle. A significant amount of time had passed, though the alicorns around her remained impassive.
Eventually Twilight opened her eyes and looked into the faces of each of the alicorns around her in turn. She had made her decision.
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1825078
Thanks! I'm glad you like it.
i.imgur.com/ocGSs.png
I'm always game for anything involving alicorns. downloaded to my nook, and I'll let you know What I think
btw Alternate-Artwork (just think this looks cool)
1825153
Wow. I wish I had seen that image before. Definitely awesome.
I hope you enjoy reading my story.
Great stuff. This will probably hit the featured chart within 70 minutes.
More like 12 minutes 13 seconds. Count on it.
Signed Leroy Hughes.
Any sequel?
Will twilight become an alicorn?
Grats on feature.
1825362
Sorry, but there's no chance for a sequel. Tomorrow I'm heading away for a couple of years to volunteer and won't have my laptop on me until I get back.
I deliberately cut off there because I couldn't decide whether or not to have Twilight go all alicorn-y.
When I get back I might write a fic going into greater detail about Chrysalis' past. That still wouldn't be for at least two years, though.
1825497 - Wow, well thanks for letting us know that there is no potential for a conclusion. I'd like to know more about the rules of this 'game'. They seem to be far more callous than I'd expect, almost to the point where I'd think Twilight would just gather the 5, snag the Elements and banish the lot of them. Then turn themselves into alicorns and create a new system of harmony...
Least that's what I'd do... to hell with these old mares, and playing with pony lives like toys.
I don't like it, good writing, but needs a dark tag.
1825751
... Why does this require a dark tag?? As far as I can tell there are no bad/grim events in this story, while every person is permitted to their own opinion I just have to ask why an awesome story like this would require a dark tag.
A cliffhanger ending? NOOOOOOO!
All in all, I loved the fic Jaelonmiss.
The true history of Equestria was really interesting.
PLEASE CONTINUE THIS AT SOME POINT. PLEASE.
1825775 Just because you don't see anyone die doesn't mean it isn't dark. Everything about the game is very dark, and Crysalis' story is also damn dark even if she's fine in the end. I mean part of the story is the changeling genocide.
Great story, I've only read the first chapter, but I'm looking forward to reading the rest!
Cadence would be first. Although Celestia knew her as a teacher, Cadence had helped raise her as a foal. That intimate association over years of her development meant that she knew Twilight's thinking processes simply too well. She had to be eliminated before she deduced precisely what her former charge was planning (Twilight wondered whether all all the love she showed was just a part of the Game). There were several poisons that might suit... it amused Twilight to speculate that she might be able to manipulate her brother to actually poison his dear wife during sex... maybe present the toxin as a 'lubricant' of some sort...?
Chrysalis had to be next. Treachery and deceit was in her nature and she could not be allowed to remain active to spin her plots. Celestia would be Twilight's instrument there. Her old teacher was, in the end, a profoundly paranoid and vain personality - it would be foal's play to poison her mind so that she decided it was time to eliminate the Alicorn of Concealment whilst she was weak and her forces scattered.
Celestia would doubtless be emboldened by her victory... that would be the time to set her on Luna. She suspected that the 'sisters' would be close to equal in power, cunning and determination. Twilight would have to be careful to play the two off without making either suspect that she was friend to neither and deadly foe to both. Only at the very end, when they were both at each other's throats, would Twilight swoop in to aid the winner in dispatching the loser.
Oh... the 'winner' would be shocked. For untold millennia no alicorn had been slain during the Game of Thrones. There would be anger and disappointment, especially if Celestia was the one Twilight aided to victory. However, by then, it would be too late: The remaining diarch would be too weak to fight effectively and would not realise until it was too late that Twilight had no intention to simply drive her into exile.
After that...? Well, she had all the time she needed to identify the remainder of this unnatural, evil race and obliterate them one-by-one. She would need troops and a support structure for that wider-scale pogrom, of course. Simultaneously, she would have to train the mortal ponies to rule themselves. Once, a priesthood of telekinetic unicorns raised the sun and moon - Rarity had that level of power and skill; Twilight liked the thought of her friend as a beautiful, elegant and eternally graceful High Priestess of the Heavenly Bodies. She also thought that General Applejack, General Rainbow Dash and General Trixie also sounded good. She wondered if the Pie sisters would enjoy being Master Artificers to the God-Empress of Equestria. How about Mistress Hospitallers Fluttershy and Zecora?
Ah, they would mourn when she decided to step down and retire into obscurity as an eternally wandering wizard and sage but she would have seen that they were ready to rule themselves and maintain the utopia she had built.
Twilight smiled around at the four alicorns and pictured each one's death. Celestia really needed to learn critical thinking. Why didn't she bother asking Twilight where she had put The Alicorn Amulet? Was it arrogance...? No, Twilight decided that the Alicorn of the Sun was simply too sure of the effectiveness of her programming Twilight to worship and revere her, never expecting that her apprentice would have the moral strength to reject their sociopathic 'game' in favour of something more to her liking.
"What are you smiling about Twilight?"
Twilight blinked in response to Celestia's words and looked at old teacher. Once again, she amused herself by visualising that long, powerful horn shattered, those beautiful, graceful wings broken, matted blood marring that wonderful white coat and final mortal terror twisting her perfect face. "Oh, I was just thinking that I like chess, the more able the opponent the better! I suppose I always have been that way!"
1826367 hahaaaaaa murder.
To everyone who read my fic: YOU'RE CRAZY! I went away for four hours and came back to 70 notifications and a PM.
I really didn't think it was that good of a story.
1826367
Feel free to write a fic like that if you want. I can't do it (see one of my older comments, or my most recent blog post), but you have my permission to try it.
Just include a link back to here so people have some understanding of why Twilight is an alicorn and why she is killing them all.
1826182
I'm not going to be able to continue this, and there's no point to it anyway. I wrote to tell my theory of where alicorns come from and what they do to pass time. I wasn't planning to make this a real story. Sorry.
Oh look, another two notifications. Gotta go
1826418
I didn't mean to make anyone mad, especially not at myself. I still think that Cadence has a decent excuse. I'd like to see YOU try to deal with 600 years of sexual tension.
I kid, I kid. I was kinda hoping to make people hate alicorns.
Cite the image source, yeah?
Takes all of fifteen seconds to do, you know.
1826572
Done. Thanks for giving me the original link. I found the image on my computer and couldn't remember where I found it.
Worth reading you provided some interesting insight on Celestia Cuna Cadence and Crissy.
~~~~~~~~SPOILERS~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Luna is starswirl the bearded Bahahahahahaha.
I personally believe she wouldn't do it. She's an intelligent mare, and a few thoughts would carry all the weight in the cosmos, The Game.
She wouldn't hold it against any one of them, no, just The Game. I think she would decline for the simple fact that she would have to live with herself, and her actions in pursuit of The Game, for all eternity. I myself would make that decision, she and I share a very similar frame of mind, and outlook on life. And as tempting as time enough to learn all things is, I don't have it in heart or soul to participate in such a Game.
Beyond all that, loved it, amazing read, and a wonderfully unique look on Alicorn history, thank you for this.
1826688
Fixed. Thanks for pointing that out. Somehow both of my editors and I missed it.
I wanna know her choice!!!!!
1826477
The problem is, they're all acting rather out of character, Twilight especially. She's way too calm, way too "meh". The revelation that the alicorns are dickish enough to toy with the very state and welfare of the country to amuse themselves should anger and shock her, and the revelation that her sister-in-law* married her brother just for sex should infuriate her. She's also not thinking deeply about her choice. She's just dealt with a huge, perspective-changing revelation and has a massive decision pushed on her, and we're only treated to her saying it's a really big choice and thinking about how her friends would react. There is a hell of a lot more to it than that and Twilight is, if anything, a committed over-thinker. Granted, I probably missed some bits where she did have a bit of a think, but it is still all rather lacklustre and not really Twilightish. Her reactions should all be much more panicked and over-thinking, as we've seen what the mere mention of a test can do to her. Something this important and big, with so many revelations, would warrant much more reaction and thinking on her part.
Another problem is that the story itself is rather unengaging. We're treated to the alicorns and their nature, and we're told a lot about their Game of Thrones they so love to play. But that's it really. We're not exactly offered much more to go on. It's less a story and more an infodump - quite literally a "Study on Alicorns". There's potential for Twilight to agonise over the decision, its consequences and go through mental and emotional trials and everything, but it's not explored as much as it should be. It's not meaty; it has the bare skeleton but none of the fatty, juicy bits that make a piece of writing so fun to read.
So the main problems are that there's not much of a story to go on here, as you've written it. There could be, but the potential isn't used. The characters are rather lacklustre and out of character; they could do with more emotion, reaction etc. There is potential also for the exploration of relationships: Luna being Celestia's mentor (and thus, her superior) before their immortal life and her "little sister" (and her inferior) during could make for a very interesting exploration of their relationship and the changes they went through and any bitterness that may arise from it. Cadence's revelation of her using of Shining Armour and lack of love for him would definitely change her and Twilight's relationship. Further developing that, you could enact a change in character for Cadence to make her change her outlook on love and life. This very Game has the potential for your exploration of characters and their relationships, but it doesn't really do so.
So, all in all, this piece has potential to be an excellent, enrapturing story, filled with a significant amount of character exploration and development, and the exploration and development of their relationships. Potential that is, as it is written, not used. What I'm seeing here is more of an expository piece; a worldbuilding exercise that doesn't really offer us anything more.
I've been trying to figure out why it left such a negative feeling in me after I read it, and it's not so much the bits that invoke an emotional response from me or that it's bad (it's not). It's that this really has the potential to be something I would love to read - giving me plenty of character and relationship development and lots of juicy, exciting bits that add up to a plot that is very engaging to read - and that potential isn't reached. The negative feeling is disappointment and lack of fulfilment.
So it's basically all right, but it could be much, much, much better. And so, I'll leave you with this:
i.imgur.com/hSYDF.gif
*: Who's love for her husband was so strong that it blew away someone powerful enough to defeat Celestia and her entire army. Canonically, she is very much deeply in love with Shining Armour, and painting her otherwise is out of character.
PS: I'm really hoping you'll take my advice to heart. You can make such great stories if you take care to develop your characters and really think about how they and their relationships would react and change and weave an overarching, engaging plot into this.
1826753
Well, I'm not convinced that's the only way to avoid going insane but that's besides the point. You see, you're forgetting that they aren't immortals: They're mortals playing with an unnatural immortality with all the flaws that implies. The only way for someone who has acquired unnatural immortality, the only real way to avoid insanity... is to give up the curse.
1826733
Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for mentioning that. It's more or less what I was thinking about it, although I tend to hate on my own works quite often. I'm much better at writing essays and lab reports than fiction works. If there was a fimessays.net website I would have put it there instead.
Frankly, I can't understand most emotions in real life, and so I find it hard to get into a character's head for writing purposes. I did try the best I could to do this, but I know that it could be far better if a real author took a crack at it. I'd love to see someone make something out of this.
The biology student in me was screaming at me the whole time I was writing it and it was a struggle not to give up halfway through.
1826850
Thanks for mentioning it. Fixed.
Methinks that I need to speak with my editors...
1826777
You assume it's reversible.
And really, the game isn't about death. It isn't even about life. It's about having a CHALLENGE, something that's in short supply when you have phenomenal cosmic power.
1826868
Oh... I'm sure that Twilight will find a way. I don't think the others would find the experience... comfortable, though.
"When you play the game of thrones, you win or you die." ~ Circe "Celestia" Lannister.
1826868
1826777
Righto, I'm gonna end this right now.
Nah, not really. It's cool to see people discussing my story.
As far as I can tell, the root cause for their game is my massively messed up imagination, but I might be completely wrong on that.
1826879
Actually, I remember an old Heavy Metal comic that had a similar "game" mentioned. So I'm not unfamiliar with the idea.
1826367
I usually don't care for comments like this, but looking at the alicorns in this setting, I'm sad to say it made me smile a little.
1826733
This is more what I was thinking, reading through this. Twilight's reactions were dulled considerably, and there was much out of character action. Canon Twilight would be disgusted by the alicorns' actions, by the hypocracy of using the elements of harmony to toy with innocent lives, and deeply disturbed by the shattering of the images of two of her role models growing up.
1826865
Uhh... heheh...
Hey, look over there!
i.imgur.com/jN3ue.gif
1826924
Ooh, look! It's a distraction! *stares at blank wall*
Goris, be glad I left Mr. 2x4 at home today. I don't care if you're a young deathclaw or the alpha deathclaw himself, I'll whip you naked through the streets of Aberdeen.
But seriously, good job. You caught most of the mistakes.
And of course there's another 4 notifications for me. Does the horror never end?
1826946
Getting like a billion notifications is simultaneously the best and worst feeling ever.
1826996
So true. Especially when you have just posted your story and don't know if they're "We love your story" messages or "I'm going to cut off your leg and use it to rape you and then force feed it to you" messages.
I had a cold sweat when I saw the first notifications appear at the top this morning.
Well... as a story this was good but it failed to meet its high and awesome potential that I see buried there... however as a world building bit... I have to say it was pretty awesome!
It kinda makes me want to work/write my own stuff floating around this idea of "the game" ...of course if I do end up writing it I'll prob do a few things differently but... hey that's how it goes. 
1827036
Go ahead. Write whatever you want to based on it. Just make sure you do a better job than I did. Not a particularly high standard, if you ask me.
1827066
Fixed. Thanks for pointing it out. There has been a bunch that my editors and I missed. I think that's the fourth or fifth one.
1827062 Hey, don't sell yourself short. There are many things that could be improved about your story true. However, it is still far better than many stories I've read. I've read many stories that are simply painful to read the next word. However, this had me at least wanting to know more. It wasn't exactly a 'story' but I found it very interesting and kept wanting to learn/read more.
My theory is that since twilight is so out of character in this story that she will accept the invitation but pronounce the spell wrong resulting in all of the alicorns dying
1827161
That... That might work. I have to agree that everyone being out of character. I'm not the best at judging how people (ponies?) would react.
Let me just say, I enjoyed reading this. I wanted to know everything about everything in your world, you did such a splendid job of world-building that I am left wanting more. This story deserves its spot in the featured box and I would definitely read anything else written in this universe.
That said, I was... surprised by the ending, to put it lightly. I know that kind of ending can work sometimes, but I just don't know if it works here. Let me think about it some more.
1827199 sorry, it's just I hate it when there is this type of ending. I hate cliffhangers so I had to come up with some sort of an answer otherwise I will be thinking about it for ages.
Also I think the way everyone is out of character really works well with the humorous side of the story. Everyone is like: ponies dying? What evs!
But I did defence toy enjoy the story.
1827211
Thanks.
Regarding the ending, I simply didn't want to decide if Twilight should change or not. I wrote this to share my theory for where alicorns came from. I'm ashamed to say that entertaining my audience was lower down on my priorities than it should have been.
mememaker.net/static/images/memes/1139053.jpg
mememaker.net/static/images/memes/1139085.jpg
1826733
You pretty much summed up all my criticisms of this story. Way to go!
First of all author, I want to let you know that what you have here is good, great even. It's an informative look into what alicorns are and, more importantly, their characters (any story that fleshes out the alicorns are okay in my book)
That said, I would like to say something contradictory I've read.
The alicorns do a little game of wits to keep themselves entertained, putting innocent mortal lives at risk and not really caring about their ultimate fate. (as evidenced by Chrysalis' failed invasion on Canterlot pretty much wiping out all the changelings, and Luna's attempt at overthrowing Celestia causing widespread riots and panic.)
And yet while Twilight is within the chamber looking at the ritual in front of here Celestia says that she has to defend the weak and uphold morals? Excuse me? These are the same Alicorns that pretty much drove species to extinction, one of them put another into a lust that lasted for decades and only married because of physical pleasure. (I just feel all sorts of wrong when I read that, I'm sorry.) and quite honestly? seeing their lack of reactions to all these things makes me think that they simply don't care about what they've done.
and like what was said earlier: that is quite dickish on a god-like level.
Now just because I said this doesn't mean that I'm not liking the story, I liked the story a lot actually, I just feel like it there could have been more to this fic.
If I may, (hopefully you're not bored to tears of my rambling yet.) I do have one thing that this fic could use.
An Anchor.
Have you guys ever read Fallout Equestria? (if not and you love fan fics of MLP you really should give that beast a chance.) Within this fic we have the protagonist: LittlePip. As the title suggests: Fallout Equestria is a cross over between MLP and Fallout. As LittlePip goes about the Equestrian Wasteland she has very strong reactions of disgust to the horrors of the badlands and the atomic failures of the past that haunt the lands like a choking fog.
Normally I wouldn't get very far in a fic as grimdark as Fallout Equestria, but I got through it just fine, and I look upon it as one of the greats (in my humble opinion.) This is because I felt like me and LittlePip were on the same page, you know? LittlePip felt my horror and disgust with me as I went through the story. And that comforted me in a sense.
Because heres a story where we as readers are dropped into an unknown universe, craps is flying in a million different directions, and I'm kind of at a loss you know? But even though we have all this stuff happening in the story, I can be sure of one thing: that LittlePip will keep her head firmly on her shoulders. She has to, for everyone's sake (including the readers).
Now how does this relate back to "A Study of Alicorns"? Well it's just that we as readers are getting hit with all these bad things and not one character is even batting an eyelash. In this story, I feel like Twilight could be a natural anchor. As I was reading I wanted to throw my hands up in the air and be like: "Doesn't ANYONE feel like that this is messed up in anyway, shape, or form? Anyone?"
(But of course people have already talked about how OOC Twilight is being so I won't go off on that.)
and this comment is getting much too long, I think I'm going to end it here.
But just remember Author, It is not my intention to rip all your hard work to shreds and desecrate the remains, I just want you to know that I liked you story. You've got a really good idea and some obviously inspired ideas at work here. For that, you should be congratulated. just that I want to see it flourish.
And now I'm done. Sorry for taking up so much of your time! (thanks for bearing with me)