Hearth Warming Feathers
Hearth Warming's Feathers
It was your typical winter day in Ponyville, the snow fell gently on the ground, the wind blew, nipping at the little fillies and colts noses as they made snow ponies and snow balls down below. Up in the air the weather team was doing their best to make sure the winter weather was just at the right level for the citizens enjoyment, after all, no one wanted another unexpected blizzard like last year *thanks a lot Derpy!* Yep just your typical winter day in Ponyville, until a certain conversation started up that is...
"so" said the blond-maned wall-eyed Pegasus to her partner. "You get your Hearth Warming's Eve shopping Done Rainbow Dash?"
"Shopping? Shopping!?" Rainbow Dash said in disgust "I don't do holiday shopping Derps, to many crowds, and crazy old grannies to mess with, no, this is one pony that won't be caught dead in a mall, well not unless I need some new work-out gear or somethin like that."
" Then what do you get your friends and family?" Derpy asked.
"Well, I usually just have Pinkie Pie Bake me some Fruit Cakes & GingerMare houses and I give those out to the gang, then I send a couple Hearth Warming's cards out to my folks and what not, I mean hey its the thought that counts right, no need to go all out."
Derpy looked at Rainbow with her Derped eyes now straight and a rather serious look on her face "Yeah its the thought that counts, but sounds to me your not really putting that much thought into it, or even trying, I mean you make more then enough bits to get your friends & family something nice for the holidays, why don't you...what the hay do you spend all that money on anyway!?"
Rainbow Dash blushed, not wanting to mention to Derpy she spent most of her excess funds on Apple Family Cider & Wonder Bolts memorabilia "Well ahh, you know, just... stuff"
"Stuff?" Derpy said still looking at the Rainbow-Maned Pegasus with a serious look.
" Ugg, OK enough of the grilling, what does this matter to you anyway, I mean the holidays are supposed to be about friends & family right, bonding and all that cheesy junk, whats it matter if i'm cheap on my gifts!" Rainbow huffed.
"Your right" Derpy replied, "I guess it doesn't, but...what about Scootaloo, aren't you gonna get her anything? I mean you took her under your wing right? Made yourself like her big sister, surely you plan on getting her something nice? Right?"
Rainbow Dash looked at Derpy and was about to give a snarky reply, but then she realized, she didn't have a proper reply, Derpy was right, what about Scootaloo, how could dash have been so thick. "Oh crud" she said as she face-hoffed, "Looks like I actually have somepony to buy for this year after-all."
Later, at the Ponyville Shopping center...
"Bam, Pow, Zap! Take that you Space-Dragons!" A young pegasus filly said as she mashed the buttons on the arcade console as fast as she could. "WINNER!" The game shouted, with trumpets blaring and regal music playing. "Ha did you see me Dash, did yea!? I kicked those Space-Dragons butts!"
"Haha, yeah Scoots, I saw" Rainbow said looking at the filly with a smile.
"Hey Dash, why did you decide to come to the arcade today anyway?" Scootaloo asked.
"Well, you know, you've been working really hard training recently, and I just thought, being the holiday season and such, you'd like a little break, think of it as a early Hearth Warming's gift, from me ta you." "So, how about some Pizza!?"
"Pizza? Buck Yea, I mean nothing beats Pizza after killing army of evil aliens!"
"Haha, thats the spirit kid, c'mon lets go chow down!"
After finishing their meal at Pony Joe's Pizza Parlor, Dash and Scootaloo walked around the mall, Dash had told Scoots it was to look for gifts for her friends, but that was of course, a lie. In truth Rainbow was hoping Scootaloo would give her some hint or clue as to what she would like for her real Hearth Warming's Eve gift. I mean after all Rainbow wasn't used to stuff like this, she never got many gifts as a kid, never expected any, and as all her friends knew she didn't care to go shopping for them either. But with Scoots it was different, it was almost like she felt it was part of her duty to get her a gift, as cheesy as that sounds. Then she stopped, she heard the little Pegasui's voice calling her.
"Rainbow Dash, Rainbow Dash, Look Look!!!" Scootaloo screamed in Excitement.
Rainbow turned towards the jumping filly only to see it, and she could see why Scootaloo was excited, standing there in the window of the ToysRNice shop window was one of the best looking scooters anypony had ever seen, even dash was taken back by it. "Ahh, wow squirt, that, that looks like a pretty nice ride." Dash said walking towards the filly
" Nice! NICE!" Scootaloo said looking at Dash with wide-eyes. "This isn't just nice, this is the P-1847, super, ultra mega scooter with enhanced speed, and perfect grip and turning! Its like, THE BEST SCOOTER EVER!" Scootaloo said looking at the sweet ride with a twinkle in her eye.
"Ahh yeah, your right." RD said with a nod. "So, thats, thats ahh something you'd want for Hearth's Warming, I bet, wouldn't yea... I bet if yea go over there and tell Santa Hooves he'll bring yea one." Dash said with a cheeky grin.
"Yeah, its something I'd love to have..but" Scootaloo's said as her voice trailed off. "But ponies like me, we don't get gifts like that, sides, everypony knows Santa Hooves is just some stallion in a fat suite, he isn't real." Scootaloo said her head hanging low, slinking away from the store window.
"Ugg, Duffus look what you did, no you got her all depressed, and on the holidays no less!" Rainbow really did feel bad, as she looked at Scootaloo. Poor filly, it wasn't her fault she didn't have parents, and the one guardian she supposedly did have, well he/she was never around. Rainbow had often wondered if she could literally take Scoots under her wing, if she could adopt her, but Twilight had told her she wasn't old enough yet by Equestrian law to be given the title of care-giver to a filly, and even if she was, well who knows how long a legal battle between her and whomever scoots guardian was, if she even existed, would last* "If I was just a bit older scoots, i'd give you the best Hearth Warming's gift you ever had!" Rainbow Dash said under her breath. "But, for now" she said with a smile looking at the scooter in the window, you'll just have to settle for the second best!" Rainbow Dash had done it, she found the perfect gift for Scootaloo, she was going to get her "little sister" the raddest scooter in all of Equestria!"
That evening at Sugarcube Corner....
"Hey Dashie, how yea doin!" A peppy pink pony asked with as she hopped along the floor passing out sweets, shakes & sodas to the various customers within the shoppe.
"Oh i'm fine Pinkie, hey, ahh...are AJ & Rarity here yet?" Rainbow asked
" Aww, you mean you didn't come to see me" The Pink earth-pony said with a pout.
Rainbow just rolled her eyes. "Anyway, I thought they would be here by now, I mean, you know for our bi-weekly sisterhooves meeting" "Ugg, I really hate how cheesy that name is" Rainbow thought.
"Oh right" Pinkie said with a smile. "Thats that thing you three do now, since you all have little sisters now, although your little sister isn't really a sister sister, but like a sister in spirit kinda sister, wait, isn't that cheating?"
"PINKIE!" Dash exclaimed.
"Haha, Sorry Dashie" Pinkie said with an akward smile, her ears now lowered "Anywho now that I think about it, Rarity called earlier saying that her & Sweetie Belle were busy making dresses and costumes and stuff for the Ponville & Canterlot Plays... Oh and Big Mac was by earlier and he told me AppleJack had caught a bad cold cause she was all stubborn and was out all night pickin weeds out of the garden so they wouldn't attack the apple seeds or something like that... So ahh I guess your gonna be a meeting of one tonight!" Pinkie said sheepishly.
" Great, just what I need" Dash muttered.
"Ahh don't worry Dashie, you can totally spend your time with me instead, after all arn't I the funnest McFunpants pony in all of Equestria!" Pinkie said with a big wide cheesy smile, and somehow now she also had a clown nose and wig on.
" Ahh, thanks for the offer Pinks, but I think i'll pass, i'm kinda busy tonight myself, but i'll, i'll catch yea next time, OK."
"Aww, OK" Pinkie said with a frown, her clown nose deflating as Rainbow Dash walked back out the door.
"Great, just great!" Rainbow huffed looking up at the sky. "The one night I need them to be there and there busy, or sick, whatever." "I mean i'm new at this big sister thing for pony's sake, I don't even know how to present an awesome gift properly, and now I don't have any pony to give me pointers" Dash huffed again. "But then again, i'm always awesome i'm sure no matter how I surprise Scoots with the present she'll love it." "Now I just need to get back to mah amazing pad and take out a little deposit from the first national bank of Dash!"
Rainbow speed home as fast as she could *which is pretty dang fast if you didn't already know* In no time flat she was in her bedroom. "Now, where'd I put that jar" Rainbow said, rubbing her hoof to her chin in thought. "Oh yeah! Under my bed!"
Rainbow dashed to her bedside and began to quickly maneuver her right hoof under her place of rest searching for the jar she hid her bits in. Then she heard a thud, "AH HA! There you are, you sneaky little thing." Rainbow chortled. She quickly grabbed the jar and lifted it up out from under the bed and up to her face, she looked, to find to her shock, that it was near empty!
...... Later
"No, No No, No No, No No, No!" "NO!" Rainbow dash had been saying that over and over for nearly an hour now, "No" she said as she looked at the jar again, and again, it was still the same, she counted over and over, but the jar, it was almost empty, a total of only 13 bits lay within. "No, 13 bits, just 13 bits, that'll never be enough for something fancy like a new scooter" "Oh why'd I have to go and waste my HearthWarming's Bonus on that Autographed set of Wonderbolts Jerseys!? WHY!?" "Ugg, now theres now way I can get Scoots that scooter unless they have like a 90% of sale, or I could haggle or somethin!"
Then an idea came into Rainbow Dash head, thats it, she would haggle, I mean its the holidays right, surely they won't mind selling one scooter for a bit less then market price...right?" Rainbow Dash knew she was lying to herself, but she still had to try.
That night at the mall...
Rainbow looked around, it was crazy 4 nights before Heartwarming's eve and last minute shoppers were trotting all over each other for the latest bargins. "sheesh, no wonder my family always hated getting out during the holidays" Rainbow flew above the crowd, looking out for security guards, thankfully they all seemed to be pre-occupied with the stampede of crazy mares fighting over cloths & jewelry. Good she wouldn't get busted for flying in a no flying area. As she approached the toy store she was ecstatic, she was sure with her swag, charm, and good looks she could convince any pony to give her that scooter, there was only one thing she didn't count on, right as she was about to enter the store she saw it, the store clerk take the scooter out of the window, she stopped, she couldn't help but stand there in shock as she saw Diamond Tiara's dad Filthy Rich hand a giant bag of bits to the cashier, his purchase placed in a box firmly tied to his back, and then he walked out the door, right past the frozen Pegausi.
"Ahh, miss, you've been standing like that for a couple minutes now...can I help you" The clerk at the cashier said. Rainbow shook her head to get out of her daze.
"Ahh yeah, that, that scooter, like that one that guy just bought, you got more of those, right!?" Rainbow asked nervously.
"Oh i'm terribly sorry mam that was our last one, but we should be getting more in within the next month or so" The salespony said.
"A, A Month! But, but the holidays will be over by then! I, I need one now!"
" I understand mam, but theres really nothing I can do about it, well not unless you feel like paying the Rush deliver fee, then I MIGHT be able to get one in the next day or so" The clerk said with a greedy smirk/
"Ahh sure yeah, whatever, I just, I gotta get one of those things for my little sister, she'll be heart broken if I don't!" Rainbow said hastily rushing to the counter
"very well mam, now if you don't mind, that'll be 500 bits"
fu..fuh...five hundred bits!" Rainbow said in shock "b, but I only have 13!" She shrieked
" Your telling me you came in here planning to buy a P-1847 with only 13 bits" the teller asked in a rather shrude tone.
"well ah... yeah I was hoping I could get a discount, you know, for the holidays and all" Rainbow said blushing/
"I'm sorry man, I understand where your coming from I do, but I got a business to run, if you can't pay the fee i'm afraid i'm going to have to ask you to leave." the clerk said as he pointed at the door.
Rainbow with her head held low, just nodded OK and slunk out of the store with a sad look upon her face. "I'm sorry Scoots' she said, guess I won't be giving you an awesome Hearthwarming's after all....some big sister I am"
Four days later at Pinkie Pies HearhWarming's Eve Party-pa-looza!...
"WooHoo, HOW ARE ALL MAH PARTAY PONIES TONIGHT!" Pinkie said holding the microphone connected to the stores P.A. System, I hope your ready for one hooplah of a time, cause we got HearthWarming Goodies out the wazoo for you lovely colts n fillies tonight!" Pinkie said as the crowd cheered.
"Wow Pinkie Pie sure is energetic tonight ain't she" AJ asked looking at Rainbow Dash "But then again she's been plannin this party fer months now, gotta hand it ta Pinkie, she sure knows how ta put a smile on dem lil pony's face don't she" AJ pointed out as the two looked on seeing Pinkie Pie dance like a loon in the middle of the floor, making all the fillies & colts at the party laugh out loud, even some of the parents joined in.
"Yeah, she's a lot better then me in that department." Dash said with a sigh.
"What was that Sugarcube, I didn't hear yea" AJ said.
"Oh its nothing, I, I think i'm gonna go get a soda or something, you want anything" Dash asked.
" Nah, i'm fine, you, you ah sure your OK RD?" AJ asked again.
" Yeah, yeah i'm fine, sheesh" Dash said as she trotted off in a huff
" Well wonder whats got that Ponies holiday knickers in a twist" AJ said to herself, but she quickly dropped the thought as Applebloom and Babs came up to her asking to join them in a game of Holiday Horse Shoes over at Pinkie's game corner.
Over at the counter for the Soda fountain Dash couldn't do anything but sulk, even though she was at one of the most festive and upbeat parties ever, she couldn't help but think of how she had failed, she, Rainbow Dash, THE RAINBOW DASH, had failed, failed at something as simple as getting a little filly the thing she wanted most. She looked out at the dance floor, there she saw Scootaloo showing off her moves to her classmates, Dash let out a small smile, she was impressed, Scoots was pretty good at free-styling for a filly her age. "Bet she'd be a better big sister then I am too, dash said, sadly sipping her soda"
Then she heard the little fillies voice "HEY RAINBOW DASH!"
She looked back and saw Scootaloo, nearly dropping her soda she quickly replied "Oh, ah, hey squirt, how yea doin, long time no see, hehe."
"Yeah Tell me about! I haven't seen you in like days! What gives, your not ignoring me are you?" The filly said with serious look on her face.
"Me, ignore you!? Pfft, your crazy squirt, why would I ignore my favorite filly in the whole wide world!? pfft, thats just, crazy talk!" I've just been busy helping the other get this shindig together, thats all." Rainbow said looking at the little pony with the phoniest smile she had ever given. But despite that it seemed Scootaloo believed her as the little pegasus looked up at her bright eyed saying....
"I'm your favorite filly? Really!?"
" Well DUH! I mean c'mon short stuff I took yea under my wing didn't I?" RD said proudly.
"Yeah" Scootaloo said blushing "I guess your right, hey, wanna come dance with me!?" She asked excitedly.
Rainbow looked down, ugg, how could she say no to that face. "Sure thing kid, lets go cut a rug!"
The hours passed, and the party went on, Rainbow stood by Scootaloo's side the whole time, helped her win some games, even got 4th place in the Karaoke contest. But eventually the clock struck midnight and the party had to end, the ponies helped clean up and then returned to their homes.
The moon shown bright against the white snow below, Rainbow Dash was flying slowly with a barely conscious Scootaloo on her back. "Wow, that party really wore you out, didn't it kiddo?" Rainbow asked looking back at the nearly asleep Pegasus on her back.
"Yeah....Pinkie Pie really knows how to throw em" Scootaloo said in a hushed tone.
"So, you had a good Hearth Warmings eve right?" "I mean you had fun with your friends and me, so s'all good right" Rainbow asked nervously.
"Uhhuh" Scootaloo said yawning. "It was a lot of fun, and the best part is, I getta spend the night at my Big Sister's house" Scootaloo said with giving a weak smile/
"Yeah, well its the least I could do, I mean ahh, your, well, your you know is out of town still right, and those big ol cloud houses get kind of cold when your all alone, sides who says the party has to end at Pinkie's I got loads a fun stuff we can do at my pad!" Rainbow said in a cocky voice.
There was no reply, Scootaloo had already fallen asleep riding on the Pegasus back, Rainbow slowly glided down to the entrance of her home, she opened the door, gently she went up the steps, and used her wings to place Scootaloo on the bed, then she just looked, looked at the sleeping Pegasus, "Dang it squirt, your too dang cute when your curled up like that, yea know." then she felt it, a tear rolling down her eye. "I'm sorry, I really am Scoots, I wanted ta get you that awesome Scooter, but I couldn't, I know i'm a horrible big sister, ugg, you must hate me, how could I put myself before you, but c'mon I don't do this holiday shopping stuff, I, I don't...." then she stopped as she heard a giggle coming from the bed, there she saw Scootaloo now siting up staring at her.
"Wha, Whats so funny!?" Rainbow dash squeaked.
"You are, I can't belive I just heard Rainbow Dash say something THAT stupid!" Scootaloo said laughing.
Rainbow Dash just sat there frozen, her jaw wide open "Stupid, but, but Derpy said, and then you, but I and.. UGG!" Rainbow screamed. Then she just looked at Scootaloo, her eyes still wet from tears "I, I just wanted to give you a good HeartWarming's Eve squirt, I, I went to get that Scooter yea wanted, but, but I couldn't...I'm sorry. " She said as she got up on the bet nustling the little filly.
Scootaloo just looked at her and smiled. "Rainbow Dash, I don't need to get a gift from you, silly Dash" Scootaloo said.
"You don't?" Rainbow Dash asked with a puzzled look on her face.
"NO, I, well your my gift!" Scootaloo said, with a face now redder then one of Applejacks ripest apples. "I mean, I don't have much of a family, and when i'm around you, I feel really happy, like that, that maybe i'm not a nopony afterall, that I have somepony that cares about me, and well, i'm just really glad to have you as a big sister Rainbow Dash" Scootaloo said with tears coming out of her eyes. "That doesn't sound to sappy does it?"
Rainbow stared at the filly, her eyes too now filling up with fresh tears. "Course not squirt, course not." "I tell yea what, heres my gift to you, from now on you can stay here as much as you want, any day, any night you need it, my pad is your pad, and of course by default i'm yours as well." Rainbow said nuzzling the pony's cheek with her nose.
"You mean it Rainbow Dash!? Really!?" The pegasus said with a bright twinkle in her eye."
"Course I do squirt, in fact, I've got some pretty fun ideas of how we can spend the rest of the week together, if your game that is?"
" You really mean it, you'll be by my side, the whole rest of the week!?" Scootaloo said excitedly.
"You bet kiddo, i'm yours for the rest of...however long you kids are out on break, and i'll be by your side the whole time" Rainbow said as she curled herself around the filly.
"Is that good enough" Rainbow asked.
"Good enough, i'd say its the best Hearthwarming's gift ever, thanks Rainbow Dash."
"you know squirt, if you want, you can call me Big Sis, I don't mind"
"Really..thanks Dash, I mean, thanks Big Sis...I, your awesome." The young filly said as she yawned and began to fall asleep.
"Your pretty awesome too kid, your pretty awesome too." Rainbow stated as she shut her eyes, and with her body and wings curled around young Scootaloo, she too fell into a deep and peaceful sleep. Smiling glad she had been able to make her little sister happy after all.
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Well, there are grammatical errors but the story is well told and heartwarming. Have a thumb.
I liked it, but the amount of capitalization errors... ugh.
This is not a bad story, over all, but the grammar and capitalization errors made it kind of hard to read. Some of the dialogue didn't flow well either; it was full of run-on sentences. I'm going to take one of your paragraphs and post it as you have it and how I would edit it so you can see what I mean.
Yours:
How I would do it:
Do you see how it flows a little more? And the dialogue is broken into sentences, rather than being one long ramble. A rule of thumb is that each individual thought should be its own sentence, rather than being strung together.
I hope that was helpful!
Overall, the story was really cute and heartwarming. Keep writing adorable plots. The more you write, the better your work will get!
I have to say, the story was well thought out and crafted. However, as you yourself recognized, the grammatical errors detract from it. I would reccomend giving the original document a good thorough editing, and then repost it. Also, check your usage of quotation marks, that's the error I noticed the most.
You have a good story here, and I'd love to see it fixed up grammatically so it can truely shine.
i like how you ended it there it was pretty much a loop hole with equestrian adoption law RD gets to look after scoots even if she is still a little underage to legally adopt her
So much dawwww. Hope to see more and scootalove is best love.
*thump* *thump*
If you're truly not aware of the number of mistakes in this story, then there's nothing I can do to help you. Please, just find someone (online or in real life) who knows proper English and ask them to proofread your work in the future. I'll even do it, if you can't find anyone else. Just please don't publish anything more without having someone else look over it first.
1829497 Yeah.... I really need to buy a copy of Stephen King's "On Writing" as well as a copy of "Writing Fiction For Dummies" I guess XD.
But hey not like i'm writing a bucking novel just some cheesy fan-fic online. Which lets face it, no matter how many of these we write there just ways for fans to get all these silly ideas out of our heads, hardly literary masterpieces XD.
But I digress, I shall try harder next time around.
1822590 Thanks Cranberry Muffin, yeah, that does sound better, and is indeed helpful.
I thought this was really good!
Poor Dashie, needs to learn to save her bits! (Although I've heard plenty of real-world cases of people earning a ton of money but having no savings.
)
The only real issue with your story was the grammar and punctuation. When I'm writing something like this, normally I just read it over after I've written it, keeping a close eyes out for mistakes. (You gotta watch those commas like a hawk!) In your case I'd say check the sentence structures, make sure your quotation marks are in the right place, and be on the lookout for stray punctuation marks. (I noticed a few forward slashs just kinda chillin' at the end of some paragraphs.)
But yeah, other than the punctuation and stuff this story was perfect.
Definitely giving this one a thumbs-up!
Edit: Twenty thumb-ups and not one thumbs-down? I am jealous.
never too many dash adpots scoots fics in my opinion
1852275 what good is all that money if you don't spend it? hm?
I WANT TO EDIT THIS STORY FOR YOU. It looks interesting, but reading it is like pulling teeth without anesthesia. IT HURTS. BADLY.
I’d say that’s more than reasonable it’s not greedy
Dawww