The elements of harmony will face many foes in their lives. Their lives will not be normal at all. The princesses doesn't want this for them. So she calls forth the guardians of harmony to fight and protect them. Not just anyone can be a guardian, so Celestia chooses the ponies close to them. Who better to be the guardians then their older brothers.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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“Heat Wave what could possibly be so important that you have to wake me up this late at night.” Said a rather tired Shining armor. “The princess needs your help with something very important. As you know your sister and her friends are now the elements of harmony. Yes, what does that matter? Well you are going to help protect them from harm. We need your help finding the other five as well. You know I’m pretty sure you can find the families of her friends in the records in the castle. Please come with us as we go rally them up. Fine, I’ll go with you only because I want to protect twilight.”
You are supposed to start a new paragraph each time the speaker changes. Also, double-space between each speaker and paragraph. it makes things easier to read and understand.
Interesting premis. This is only the second time i have ever seen the Mane 6 get bodygaurds. This takes the idea in an unexplored direction.
Adding to my read later list so I can keep track of it in the future
Like the other guy said, you need to break up the paragraphs, otherwise is becomes hard to tell who's speaking.
As a first story, not bad, but a few things:
1. Big Mac talks too much. Try to keep it to Eyup and Enope, and only simple sentences.
2. It felt a bit rushed. This one chapter could have easily been stretched into several, with some sibling either being hard to find, convince, or to even care.
Their than those two, not bad!
I failed to mention that my friend the Rushing Biohazard helped me on this story. We are makeing this story together and i think he deserves credit.
not bad story more
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For all of you who are reading my stories, I have put them on hiatus because I am unsure if I will be completing them or not. I will take some time off and think about it. Until then, I am sorry I started something I might not finish.