5. Someone Who - Like it or Not - Will Always Be There
The purple pony – still in a daze of confusion and curiosity about Discord’s current state – wandered back through the forest towards Ponyville. She almost didn’t even think to look up at the looming cloud city still almost-directly above her home, but the worry and the dread were stunned for now, replaced with awe and complete what-the-heckary.
Before she could really decide whether she wanted to teleport to the library or not, she found that her hooves had carried her all the way out of the forest and into the streets of town already. In fact Twilight only realized she was there when her eyes landed on the pink hooves of a pony directly in front of her, blocking her path.
“Oh, Twilight Twilight, there you are! We’ve been looking everywhere but we couldn’t find you!” Pinkie cried as she grabbed her friend by the shoulders and hugged her with a mighty squeeze.
“Hi…Pinkie…” the unicorn gasped from the lung-crushing grip of Pinkie Pie’s friendship.
“When Spike told us you hadn’t come home yet we started looking for you,” Pinkie told her as she loosened her hold enough for Twilight to slip out of the tight hug. “We knew you probably needed to take a break from all that running around like a crazy pony, but we didn’t think you’d go disappearing on us.”
Before Twilight could start in with her explanation, Pinkie turned and pulled her towards Sugarcube Corner. “Come on, we’ve gotta tell every pony that you’re back and that you’re ok!”
Twilight resisted, pulling against Pinkie’s coaxing hoof-hold. She needed to tell her friends about this – this was most definitely something they needed to know about. She just wasn’t certain they should all find out at the same time. Maybe if she could get Pinkie Pie back with her, they both could find a way to breach the issue to the others together. Pinkie was at least one of her friends that had been more willing to accept Discord and the new relationship Twilight had formed with him. She knew the pink pony to have a childlike demeanor, and young fillies and colts did seem to be more accepting of things they didn’t quite understand.
“No Pinkie,” she said to her friend as she began to pull her back towards the forest. “Before we let every pony know, there’s something I might need your help with.” Pinkie looked puzzled at Twilight’s request. “I think you should see this.”
Her frazzled tone must have alerted Pinkie to the importance of what she wanted her friend to see, so the mare followed Twilight back through town towards the forest.
“Well, okie dokie Twilight, but… where are we going?” she asked as they walked deeper into the Everfree.
Twilight figured there was no beating around the bush. She had been straight with her friends about all the other big problems that were happening of-late, she should continue in that vein as well here.
“We’re going to see Discord.”
“Ooh!” Pinkie jumped at the idea. “Really, you’re letting me come along to visit? You’ve never let any pony come with you before!”
She glanced back at her friend through the dark shade of the thick trees, momentarily distracted from her current goal by this observation. “You could have come with me anytime, it’s not like I was excluding you.”
“Well, you just never invited any of us is all,” Pinkie said, still bouncing. “I figured you just wanted to keep him all to yourself.”
A jolt of embarrassment at her comment shot through the unicorn. “What does that mean?”
“Iunno, just that he must be really fun is all,” Pinkie answered, looking surprised at Twilight’s anxious tone. “He seems like he’d be a fun pony to have for a party now that he’s not trying to take over everything. Does he still make those yummy cotton candy clouds with the chocolate rain?”
Twilight didn’t give her friend an answer, instead deciding to just go ahead and teleport them both back to Discord’s home. Pinkie Pie didn’t waste any time oohing, awing and zipping around to see what was all in the big main chamber.
“Hey I remember this place, this is where we fought Nightmare Moon!” her loud comments echoed throughout the room, adding to their volume. “Wow, Discord gets to live here, that’s just so neat!”
“Pinkie, we’re not here to look around at the décor, I brought you here because I need your help – and probably every pony else’s too – because I have no idea what I’m dealing with here, this problem is just too weird for me to handle on my own.”
“What problem?” Pinkie asked, already forgetting that Twilight was trying to be serious.
“I think it will be pretty obvious once I find Discord,” she answered, leaving her friend to explore the throne room and going to find the draconequus in-question.
She found him in his bedroom, now sulking on the floor below his four poster ceiling bed.
“Is this what you’ve been doing the whole time I was gone?” Twilight asked as she approached. It was easier to come up to him this time, although it was still freaky to ponder that this was indeed him. Twilight was still trying to wrap her mind around it.
Discord’s ears were flat on his head and he glanced up at her only with his eyes, now looking exhaustingly depressed with frustration.
“This body is annoying, I’ve only just been crammed into it and already it seems to be breaking down. There’s this terrible dryness in my throat and a horrible pressure in my lower stomach. No matter how I lay it won’t just go away.”
Those were some curious symptoms to Twilight, she could at least decipher the first, but for the second she had no idea. “You’re probably just thirsty, and for the second thing… have you tried standing up?”
Discord grumbled as he eased himself up on his now four matching legs, immediately wincing once he straightened up and crossing his back legs automatically.
Twilight blinked as it slowly dawned on her Discord’s immediate problem, “You’ve got to be kidding me,” she said flatly. “You have to go to the bathroom.”
“Bath-what?“ he asked, antsy now as well as frustrated.
“Bathroom,” she repeated.
“What-room?”
“Bathroom.”
“What-what?”
The unicorn rolled her eyes and face-hoofed at the idea of having to be the one to explain this to him. This was not the type of thing she signed up for when agreeing to help Discord.
“Come on, you must know what I’m talking about. Restroom, lavatory, water closet, going to see a pony about a--- “
“Well, I’m so glad you know all the terms,” Discord interrupted. “Can you explain to me what that has to do with this?”
“It’s the room where ponies go to…do you really not know, or are you just messing with me?”
Another wince and a kind of hop from the newly-made unicorn told her that he was not.
“Oh Celestia…don’t you have a room for situations like this somewhere in this place?” Twilight looked around as if searching for a sign or a big flashing arrow of some sort.
He frowned at her and shook his head. “That never really occurred to me since this has never happened to me before!” Discord’s voice was rising as he continued to squirm.
She sighed and started leading him outside. “Come on, before you wet yourself. If you don’t have a restroom in here you’ll have to do it outside.”
“Before I what?” Discord indignantly questioned as he followed her.
Thankfully it did not take long to reach an exit, and Twilight hurriedly rushed him behind a bush. She tried to explain as best she could what to do from a good distance away, facing away from him with her hoof still planted firmly over her face and feeling a blush rising despite her best efforts to quell it.
“Ok so…now what?” Discord questioned the unicorn.
“Now you just--- let it go,” she answered back with much embarrassment.
“Let what go?”
Twilight gritted her teeth as she fought to not yell. “Just, just… let your lower half go limp.”
She heard a thud. “I fell down,” he stated from behind the bush. “Great. Any other helpful instructions?”
“I meant let yourself relax, and release that…pressure.”
“Oh,” Discord said as he made the connection. A few seconds later he called back, sounding quite disturbed. “Gah, I’m leaking!”
“That’s supposed to happen! That is the entire point of this! Just hurry up will you? Do you need me to make some water sounds for you or something?” Twilight shouted, the redness in her face rising from both irritation and awkwardness.
He shut up then and tried to do as she said.
Eventually Discord seemed to get the idea, and a few minutes later emerged from the bush and back over to where Twilight stood waiting on him but resolutely not looking in his direction.
Discord came up beside her but she didn’t budge, so he tapped her on the shoulder. She jumped and glanced over to him, her voice betraying her very strong discomfort at this scenario.
“Oh, right, so you’re done now? Ok, well… let’s get back to the main room, Pinkie Pie’s here and I’ll need to bring every pony else around.”
“So we’re just going to have a party?” Discord asked, not seeming to be embarrassed at all about what had just transpired; only mildly annoyed. “Are we going to tell all of Equestria about this? Because this is humiliating enough for me without all of your friends knowing.”
“I have to tell them,” Twilight said as she took a deep breath to try and calm herself. “They deserve to know. We’re the Bearers of the Elements after all, we might be able to help.”
“That won’t help, even if your friends actually had the inclination to help me. Evidently I’m banished to this form for a whole seven days,” he said as he walked along beside her, pausing to lift one of his front hooves to inspect it. “Ugh, trust Celestia to pick the drabbest color on my body to make my coat, and what in the world am I supposed to do with hooves?”
Twilight did a double take, pausing as well to look at Discord again. “Wait, what did you say? Princess Celestia did this to you?”
“Yes, yes, she and her sister,” Discord said as though it were obvious. “Apparently I needed a better ‘lesson in ponies’ or something like that. Just because I didn’t feel like helping her out at that moment. Doesn’t this seem like an extreme punishment to you?”
“But… why did she do this to you?” Twilight asked, but then thought better of it. “No, wait. I think we all need to be here for that story.”
The two unicorns headed down the hallway towards the main chamber of the castle ruins, though not without getting trapped in the weird turnaround hall that Discord had placed in his home for a reason that he could now not think of.
Twilight didn’t need to be able to see the throne room yet to know that Pinkie Pie was still there, for she could hear the pink pony loudly giggling, gasping, and wandering curiously as she typically did.
“Ooh, this is so neat!” they could hear her delighted cheers echoing all the way through the structure. They eventually entered the hall to see Pinkie poking a large chair made of cake, possibly unsure whether or not it was alright to eat.
When she caught sight of them, Pinkie bounded back to her friend and pointed to the chair. “Twilight, have you seen this cake chair? I wonder if Discord can make one for me. I want a cupcake chair, one that’s shaped like a cupcake and made of cupcakes! Ooh, or better yet, a cupcake throne. Wouldn’t that be neat?”
Once she had finished reveling about the prospect of pastry upholstery, the earth pony’s blue eyes landed on the other – much newer – unicorn beside Twilight.
“Hey, who is this?” Pinkie said as she stared right at Discord. “I’ve never seen you before, and if I’ve never seen you before that must mean you’re new in town! Do you have any friends? Aw I hope so, it can’t be fun to come to a place where you have no friends. Twilight, ya think we should have a party for your new friend here?”
“Pinkie…” Twilight tried to butt in, although Pinkie Pie was now in full-on gabbing mode.
“So, what’s your name? Where are you from? What’s up with your horn? Ooh, sorry, maybe that was rude, it might be a medical condition or something,” Pinkie said as she walked circles around Discord, who just stood there impatiently. Twilight knew that he had never seen Pinkie in her normal chatty state and she sort of wondered how much he could stand.
“Pinkie…” she tried again for both hers and Discord’s sakes. It was better if they just got things going and started figuring out what was going on.
“What’s up with your cutie mark?” Pinkie asked, ignoring that that might have been a rude question as well.
Now that Twilight could get a good look at him, she began to wonder as well. She hadn’t been paying attention to his flank, but as both mares looked from one side of him to another, they noticed something very odd. Discord appeared to have two cutie marks, one on each side of him.
The one on his left was a golden apple, an ancient symbol of chaos from olden pony times. It was even known as The Apple of Discord … well, that was fitting.
The mark on his right side was a swirling pattern, but not a line curving in on itself like Zecora’s sun whirl, it was wispy and seemed to be spinning around a darker central point… sort of like a hurricane. Certainly that was a good one for him as well.
“This is so weird,” Pinkie said as she looked from one side to the other quickly. Twilight thought so as well, but still she knew that it got weirder.
“So you’ve got one apple and one hurricane. Are you a weather pony? Or are you related to Applejack? I don’t think I’ve heard of a unicorn weather pony, or one being a relative of AJ. Have you Twilight?”
“No Pinkie I haven’t,” Twilight took this opportunity to finally be able to cut in on the conversation.
“Pinkie, forget about the cutie marks for the moment. Do you know who this is?”
The earth pony glanced back at Discord, giving him another stare down and hmming as she thought. She glanced back at Twilight with a shrug. “No Twi, should I?”
“Well I know you,” Discord said, speaking for the first time in a while. “Pinkie Pie, Element of Laughter, a personal favorite of mine. Although I didn’t know you had such a talkative streak about you.”
“She gets sidetracked sort of easily,” Twilight stated as an aside.
Pinkie blinked at him. “Hey, that sounds familiar; I’ve heard some pony say that before.”
“That you’re talkative? I’m sure I’m not the first.”
“No…” Pinkie said, now lost in thought. “Huh, he does sound kinda familiar.”
“Can’t we just tell her and get this over with?” Discord asked and Pinkie continued to ponder.
“Oh no, let me try and guess, I love guessing games,” Pinkie waved her hooves and shook her head.
“Yeah, and you do love games, don’t you?” Twilight had to smirk at Discord’s impatience. After all the times when he was trying to stall her, this was just a little bit satisfying no matter how much she wanted to find things out.
“Oh, har dee har,” Discord scowled. Pinkie had been circling them both like a shark, and Twilight wondered how come she hadn’t tripped over anything yet.
“Aww, don’t be so cranky… ooh are you related to my friend Cranky? I mean, he’s a donkey, but you could be a mule. You kinda look like one Mister.”
“Pinkie, do you want me to just tell you?” Twilight asked, feeling that Discord probably had had enough.
After a few more minutes of circling, Pinkie Pie did finally plonk herself down and shrug in defeat. “Ok, I give up.”
“It’s Discord.”
Pinkie cocked her head to one side and perked her ears. “Discord? Nu-uh. Discord’s not a unicorn, silly. He’s a lot taller than this pony, and he’s all miss-matchy.”
“Well, this is him,” Twilight re-stated. She had counted on some level of disbelief from her friend, especially as she was still having trouble believing it herself.
Pinkie stepped back up to Discord, looking him over with a much more scrutinizing eye.
“I… guess… he kinda sorta looks like him. In the face. He kinda had that long, drawn out, donkey face right?”
“Donkey face?” Discord said indignantly, Twilight stifled a chuckle.
“Hmm,” Pinkie rubbed her chin with her pink hoof. “I’m not gonna believe you unless you can prove it. Say something… something only the real Discord would say,” she challenged the grayish former-draconequus.
“Uh…” Discord said, looking unsure of what to say now being put on the spot. “I’m Discord, spirit of chaos and disharmony?”
Pinkie smiled widely. “Alright, it’s him. I believe you,” she said quickly, all doubt forgotten.
“But how did he get like this? What are we gonna do, Twilight?”
“That’s why I brought you here. I figured we would need to bring every pony here so we can figure this out. Would you mind staying here with him while I go round every pony else up?”
“Since when do I need a foal sitter?” Discord asked Twilight. “I got along here all by myself for all the time I’ve been assigned to these deserted places.”
“Since you made me help you go to the bathroom,” Twilight said with the briefest touch of the awkwardness that encounter had created. “Obviously you don’t know certain things about being a pony, so you need guidance.”
“I didn’t make you do anything; it’s just your innate pony nature that you feel you need to help with everything.”
“Is that your way of saying thank you?” Twilight argued. “I am trying to understand this Discord, and I know this is just as freaky for you as it is for me… us… all of us,” she fumbled the last part in her frustration. “You do need help whether you think so or not.”
“I could probably figure things out for myself,” Discord said with offense.
“Didn’t you think you were breaking down a little while ago?”
He halted. “Yes, and I’m still thirsty.”
“O-K,” Pinkie pushed in-between the two quarreling ponies, Twilight taking some satisfaction that she could now stand eye to eye with Discord without him wrapping around or looming above her. “Let’s go and find every pony else ok Twilight?”
Twilight backed up a few steps. Pinkie was right, and they’d had enough distractions for one day. When it was clear she was done arguing for the moment, Pinkie turned to the grayish male.
“Discord, I really wanna stay here with you and talk about that cake chair, but I think Twilight needs me to go with her, so you’ll have to be on your own.”
“Which is how I would prefer it,” Discord said.
That agitated Twilight more than it probably should have. Well if that was his attitude, maybe she shouldn’t help him at all or even come back. A part of the unicorn knew this was simply her being so on-edge, and that she’d regret it if she didn’t come back. As much as Discord normally riled her up, she knew now that he wasn’t all bad, and he shouldn’t be alone too long.
Calming down again, the unicorn nodded and looked back to Discord. “Fine. We’ll be back, just don’t do anything ok?”
“Fine,” he repeated with the same sort of briskness.
As they headed out of the ruins, Pinkie glanced behind at him and then back to Twilight, a question that seemed to amuse her clear on her face.
“Did you really have to teach him to use the bathroom?” she whispered with a giggle.
Twilight rolled her eyes, waiting until Discord was well behind them to give an explanation of that particular part of her day.
It took them a while to round up the others, for Rarity’s turn at spell-duty had just begun when they arrived, and as Fluttershy had been late coming back the previous day she was nervous about leaving her post for very long. Rainbow reluctantly allowed herself to go along though it was clear that she wanted to stay as well.
Twilight assured them that this was an important matter, but didn’t want to fully reveal it out in public. She had made Pinkie give her own Pinkie Promise not to say anything until they arrived at Discord’s.
The four puzzled ponies followed their friends to the edge of the forest but Twilight – deciding that she had had enough trekking through the woods today – teleported them directly into the chamber where Discord still stood, or lounged. He was stretched out on his cake chair, looking closer to his usual self than he had been recently.
As they reached him and Twilight could see his face better, she noticed that he still looked quite sulky.
“Uh Twilight, what’re we doin’ here?” Applejack questioned as they all took a look around the grand hall. “Ain’t this the old ruins in the Everfree?”
“And who is that?” Rarity asked, pointing to where Discord sat frowning up at his one small horn. “I don’t want sound rude but that shade of his coat is not flattering at all. Perhaps he might want something a little less… drab.”
“Aw, it’s not his fault Rarity, that’s just the color they made him when they ch-” Pinkie stopped herself before she could break her own promise, shoving her hooves over her mouth and emitting a muffled gasp.
The pink pony looked to her purple friend, and Twilight gave a nod. She might as well be the one to spill the beans and tell her confused friends.
“Go ahead, Pinkie.”
Taking a deep breath Pinkie Pie threw her hooves down and blurted out the secret to the room at large. “Discord, it’s Discord! He got changed into a pony for some reason and now he’s a unicorn!” She settled back down now that the secret was revealed; leaving some very shocked faces in its wake.
“Oh, and he’s gonna make me a throne made of cupcakes.” Pinkie added with a delighted smile.
Disbelief seemed to be the predominant choice of reaction preferred by her friends judging by most of their faces. Twilight noticed that each pony was taking it in turns to glance at Pinkie’s smile, Discord’s scowl, and her own look of uncertainty, for she did not yet know how they would react to this.
“Twilight,” Rarity blinked as she turned to the purple unicorn. “Is that true? This is…but how?”
“I don’t much care about tha how so much as the why,” Applejack said, eyes now narrowing in suspicion. “Why in tha hay would he do somethin‘ like that?”
“You honestly think I did this to myself?” Discord asked while looking at them perched upside down in his chair. “Do you really think I would subject myself to this of my own free will?”
“There’s not that much we don’t think you’d do if you thought you could have some fun at some pony else’s expense,” Rainbow said, matching AJ’s suspicious tone. “We’ve seen you change your shape before to try and mess with Fluttershy.”
The pegasus in-question was the only pony not to have spoken so far during this whole strange encounter. She wasn’t cowering behind her friends – as was a normal move for her – but Fluttershy seemed to be the only one who was unsure how to feel about Discord suddenly being a pony. She continued to give the odd glance back to Twilight, as if watching to see how the unicorn would react.
“Hey, he did that to me too,” Pinkie said, though more as a statement than an accusation. “But Dashie’s right, why don’t you just change back if you don‘t like it?”
“I’ve tried,” Discord explained with an exhausted sigh. “Once Twilight had left to apparently round the lot of you up that was the first thing I attempted. That was the first time I felt any semblance of strength since this was done to me last night. They seem to have taken most of my powers as well… that or blocked them”
“Likely story,” Applejack said. “How do we know this ain’t part of some big game of yours?”
“I don’t remember that,” Twilight said, now trying to recall the events of the previous night. “Was this before or after you brought us back home – or – to your home, I mean?” she corrected herself quickly.
Thankfully no pony – specifically not Discord – reacted to that little slip of the tongue, for Twilight assumed he’d make some sort of joke about it.
“Only a short time after,” Discord answered her. “I received an urgent summons from Princess Prissy-pants herself, and then I got plopped back here. I possibly could have changed back if this body wasn’t so weak.”
“If they blocked your magic, then probably not,” Twilight added. “I think if you were able to do so, you would have succeeded already.”
“But, who are ‘they’?” Rainbow Dash asked, still with an air of disbelief.
“That I don’t know,” Twilight said. “When I woke up he was just like this.”
“’When you woke up?’ Darling, is this where you were when Spike couldn’t find you?” Rarity asked her, hoof raised to her lip and sounding a tad scandalized. “We were getting quite worried about you when he said you hadn’t returned home, and now to hear that you actually spent the night over here?”
The white pony’s tone was making that sound a lot more unsavory than it actually was, and that was not lost on Twilight who very swiftly attempted to quell any new suspicions Rarity might have formed upon hearing that she spent the night with Discord.
“I fell asleep and he put me on the couch,” Twilight adamantly recounted. “Then I woke up and found him in his room as a pony. But that’s not really the issue here.”
“Yeah, the issue here is what sort of game is he playing?” Rainbow said. “Why turn into a pony and then complain about it?”
“I believe I just told you that I didn’t do this to myself, or haven’t you been listening?” Discord said, now righting himself and standing before them.
“Rainbow, I don’t think Discord had any say in this, and I certainly don’t think he did it himself,” Twilight thought back to their little ‘bathroom lesson’ and shook her head at the memory. “Believe me.”
“Well, I don’t suppose any pony would choose that unfortunate color for their coat of their own free will if they were going to change species,” Rarity concluded.
“That we can agree on,” Discord said, inspecting his hooves again and sticking out his tongue. “Wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t just this one color.”
“I still ain’t buyin’ it,” Applejack murmured as she took a look around the former-draconequus. She leered down and pointed at his left side
“And what’s this here on your flank? Y’all trying to impersonate my kin so ya can infiltrate my family?”
“Oh yes Applejack, you figured out my master plan,” Discord said with much sarcasm. “I turned myself into a pony just so I could impersonate a member of your family… please, as if your family hasn’t infiltrated itself enough.”
The indignity of that insinuation was probably more incentive than Applejack needed. “Are those fightin’ words I hear? Come on,” she shouted as she lunged for him, but was held back by – of all ponies – Rainbow Dash.
“Rainbow, let go of me! I wanna see him fight now without all his little tricks.”
“AJ, as much I really, really agree with you… and would love to see what he can do now he’s knocked down to our level …” she took a deep breath as if to try and swallow her pride.
“We kinda jumped the gun with him last time when we didn’t really listen to Twilight.” Rainbow turned to Twilight as AJ stopped squirming.
Twilight was a bit touched by that, perhaps her friends were recalling what they had seen when they formed their mental and empathic link the last time the Elements were used to restrict Discord.
The unicorn smiled at Rainbow and she returned it slowly, but then saw the pegasus turn stern again as she looked back to the former-draconequus.
“That does not mean that we’re gonna trust you completely, though Discord. We just figure she has a better picture of what’s going on with you.”
“Actually, I don’t know that much either,” Twilight stated. “I refrained from asking until we were all present.” She hoped her being able to restrain her curiosity would count for something. “All I know is that evidently Princess Celestia has something to do with this… transformation of his.”
She gave a gesture for Discord to elaborate, but he seemed reluctant to do so. After a few minutes of mulling he began to explain with that same air of annoyance that - so far - had plagued him for his entire unicorn existence.
“It was something about ‘learning to empathize with ponies’ or ‘understanding them’ or something. I apparently don’t have enough care for you ponies for the princess’s taste.”
“But, that’s the same thing I’ve been trying to teach you during our visits,” Twilight said. “Maybe Princess Celestia hasn’t seen any improvement.” Her heart sank at the thought that she might have let her mentor down.
“Oh, it’s not all your fault, you’ve been going on about it since day one,” Discord offhandedly pointed out. This didn‘t really help to reassure Twilight. “This just appears to be something they’d been contemplating doing for a while now, but this whole business with Tartarus was the last straw when it came to tolerating me.”
Twilight did a double take at the mention of Tartarus, in fact all of the ponies’ eyes widened at the name.
“Can you believe it? Celestia must take pleasure in cooking up such forms of punishment. Wonder what would happen if I’d said I didn’t like bananas?” Discord continued with his grumbling rant.
“Discord, what was that part about Tartarus?” Twilight asked quickly, trying to keep him on-topic.
“Hmm?” he questioned as if he hadn’t been paying attention. “Oh yes, that. The spells that bind the gates appear to be weakening, and the Harmony twins have been working on it ‘round the clock trying to keep them from breaking.”
This was brand new information to Twilight, suddenly the reason for Celestia’s and Luna’s silence was quite clear. So they had been facing a similar problem to their own… if only a much more magnified one.
“That is important,” Twilight whispered to herself. “But what does that have to do with your current condition?”
“Celestia’s issued me a royal ultimatum,” Discord announced, then gestured to himself. “I spend a week in this… limited form to learn about the power of friendship or something so I can understand why I need to help them seal the gate.”
“Wait, they need you to seal it?” the purple unicorn asked.
“I’m the only one with magic ancient enough to do the job effectively.”
“But why didn’t you just do it without a fuss? This is something that concerns the fate of Equestria. Surely you’d want to help since you – I don’t know – live here now and all.”
Discord shrugged. “I didn’t really see the point.”
“Didn’t see the po-” Twilight facehoofed, unable to comprehend Discord’s words. “The point would be to avoid a major disaster that could harm all ponies everywhere.”
“Yes, but it doesn’t affect me that much does it?” he asked, which only made Twilight’s consternation with him rise. “Evidently if I fail to have learned an adequate amount about your little ‘bonds’ I’m being sent into Tartarus myself, and I shall be forced to seal the gate with myself inside.”
That threw Twilight for a loop. Would the princesses really actually do that? Would they banish Discord into that horrible place knowing that they needed him to retain balance?
“Oh, don’t look so worried, Twilight Dear,” Discord said, which made the unicorn shrink and glance away from him. “I could make it out eventually, just I probably wouldn’t be allowed back on this plane. I’d have to go back out there,” he made his gesture of vaguely outwards. “…to that boring empty place I came from before.”
“Then I guess it does concern you now, doesn’t it?” Rainbow scoffed. “And I’m guessing you want our help? Why does it take the fear of getting penned-up somewhere for you to cooperate?”
The unicorn was having almost as much of a struggle with this explanation for this transformation as the transformation itself. The princesses had done this to him because they hadn’t seen any improvement…or at least not enough.
After all these months of trying to get him to care, she thought he was really starting to, but her teacher had deemed it insufficient. She wasn’t sure who she should blame more, Discord or herself.
Still battling in which direction to aim her anger, she felt it rising to a critical level. Whichever way it was fired, Twilight was certain she didn’t want her friends to be around. Another private talk with Discord was in order.
“Girls, will you excuse us?” she asked through her teeth after a long pause. They all seemed to notice her temper building - all but Discord - and with a flash of her own magenta-colored magic she had transported the two of them to his bedroom.
Apparently startled at finding himself again transported somewhere without his knowledge or consent, Discord was thrown off momentarily and therefore was even slower to realize Twilight’s current state.
“Is this going to keep happening, because it’s very disorienting,” he said.
Twilight nearly groaned . How could he have the nerve to complain about being teleported when he had done so countless times to her and the others?
Twilight kept her expression firm, her stance aggressive. “You should probably get used to it, and that’s not the point.”
Now that she had him here alone, the purple pony didn’t actually know what to say to him. There were just too many words filling her mind to even attempt to line them up properly. After all their talks, their debates, the books and the blanket… had none of it meant as much as Twilight thought? Could Discord really disregard everything she tried to share with him as soon as it failed to benefit him?
If that were true, then perhaps she really had failed after all. Even his only friend couldn’t get him to care enough it seemed.
During the unicorn’s pause, Discord seemed to notice her extensive level of upset, and looked very uncomfortable about how he should handle it.
“Alright, let’s try this again. Why didn’t you just help them?” her question came out much softer than she had assumed it would, an extremely tired edge to it.
“They didn’t offer much in the way of reasoning, and had you been there it would have been evident to you that there was clearly no bargaining with them. It was their way or the T-way.”
Twilight shook her head at him. “You don’t know that, you can’t know everything,”
“Maybe you can’t,” Discord retorted under his breath, which she ignored.
“Well I at least know the princesses would have at least made an argument for their case before doing something like this to you.”
“And so they did,” he answered.
“But obviously it wasn’t enough,” Twilight concluded with a quick glance over his pony form. “What exactly did they say to you?”
Discord looked almost offended for a moment as he blinked at her comment. Twilight had no idea if she was right in assuming that was what she saw in his face, because it was quickly masked by yet more annoyance at having to recall the night again.
“They wouldn’t even entertain the idea of bartering my assistance for some lifting of the restrictions put upon me, it was all ‘do it for every pony’s sake, this world is your home now, too,’” Discord rolled his eyes as he repeated.
“They’re right though,” Twilight pointed out. “and those restrictions were always temporary; it was always your probation. This could have been your chance to show them that it’s helped you, you know. If you hadn’t tried to force it.”
“It was worth bringing up, especially as they were not offering,” Discord said.
Twilight tried extremely hard not to face hoof again. “It’s statements like that that make me wonder if you really have learned anything from me,” she said instead.
“Nice to know you’re all on the same page in this,” Discord muttered. “I suppose that now you know why they did this you approve of it?”
The unicorn halted, momentarily hurt by her own thoughts, for she had been slowly coming to this conclusion throughout his explanation, but it wasn’t something that Twilight wanted to consider on top of the shock of seeing him like this and her apparent failure to instruct her new friend.
This transformation was her replacement.
“Well - if the princesses saw fit to do this to you, then evidently I wasn’t fulfilling my duties as well as I thought… or as well as they wanted,” Twilight said. “I was the one meant to teach you, but I guess I just wasn’t enough.”
“Oh I see now, so it’s all going back to you, isn’t it?” Discord said with annoyance. “The whole reason for this has to be because you failed the princesses, it was your actions alone because everything is always about you.”
“Well how can that be, when everything is obviously about you?” Twilight asked sarcastically. “Of course, that’s why you refused to help, because everything you do has to be for your obvious and immediate benefit.”
“In a perfect world, yes.”
The unicorn mare couldn't hold back a groan this time. “Here I am thinking ‘well if I had just done more to show him about pony kind, taught him a little more, maybe this wouldn’t have been necessary’, I have to blame myself somewhat, because when faced with a choice like you had - something that couldn’t have taken much effort by your standards at all mind you - the fact that you chose yourself above every pony else clearly shows how little you listen to me… and how little you must think of what I have to say.”
“Are you really concerned that I didn’t listen, because you should be used to that by now,” Discord fired back at her. “I think you’re more concerned that I made you look bad in front of your beloved teacher.”
Twilight was taken aback by both of his statements. “You---how could you even think that? I thought you were listening, I thought you were making progress.”
“Maybe I was some of the time, and then after about the hundredth lecture I grew a tad tired of the nagging,”
“Nagging?”
“I try to get you to loosen up, and have some fun. Isn’t that one of those things that friends are supposed to be for?”
“I--but---Ugh, yes Discord, but that isn’t supposed to be the point of our visits.”
“So you admit that this really is all just some big duty to you?” Discord asked, both ponies staring each other down now, a sense of sternness forming between them that had not been felt for some time. “Well, you can take the blame off yourself, Ms. Sparky. You can’t fail a test because your subject is ‘uncooperative’.”
“This is not about tasks or duties, Discord. This is about you not considering others’ welfare,” Twilight argued. “I think you might be better here with me, when you aren’t actually faced with the choice, but apparently it’s much harder for you to keep that mindset when actually in a situation that requires you to think of others first. If you had just helped them, I don’t think this would have been the choice they made.”
Discord didn’t seem to have a quick response to that, he merely glowered at her, which she assumed was mirrored on her face.
“But you made your choice, what’s done is done. The options you have before you now are: learn the lesson that I have been trying to teach you, or be essentially banished from this plane of existence.”
Twilight thought she could easily tell what the newly-made unicorn was thinking now, that maybe banishment didn’t seem like such a bad option at the moment.
“Well, if it seems my only ‘friend’ is washing her hooves of me, what’s to keep me from failing Celestia’s little test and getting on with my isolation? You wouldn’t have to worry about letting them down if I do the failing all on my own.”
“Don’t even try to say that you don’t want to be here, because I know you do. As much as you complain about every pony or your restrictions… you wouldn’t want to be anywhere else because all of the other options leave you alone forever. You desperately need amusement and - I think - at least some form of companionship. You can’t get any of that trapped in stone, Tartarus, or in your ‘other plane’.”
About the rest of his comment, Twilight did not even want to dignify with a response. True, Discord was not her favorite pony at the moment, but he should have known by now that she wasn’t ‘washing her hooves’ of him or anything of the kind.
She wanted him to be able to be happy, and Twilight knew that for Discord that meant being free. She just wanted him to be able to come to - at the very least - an appreciation for her kind without such a harsh method.
“It sounds to me like they are taking a big risk here for your benefit. The longer they wait for a permanent solution, the more chance there is of the seals weakening enough for something to escape,” Twilight said. “You should consider this an opportunity as opposed to a punishment.”
“An opportunity” he repeated skeptically.
“Yes, for you to maybe get a better view of what I’ve been trying to tell you,” she said. “Maybe even attempt that whole ‘trying to get them to understand by you making the first move’ thing?”
Twilight could tell that this did not really appeal to him, but really… what other options did he have? Who knows, actually being around other ponies might go a bit further at showing him why ponies matter more than just lecturing him somewhere far removed from any pony else.
Flashing them back into the main chamber where the others were waiting - not certain if their little aside had helped to clarify anything or convince him in any way - Twilight continued in a much more upbeat and she hoped less absolutely frustrated way.
“We’ll help if we can.”
“Uh, we will?” Applejack asked with a side glance to Twilight.
“Yes, we will,” she emphasized. “I don’t think any pony here would willingly send Discord into Tartarus when the princesses themselves are giving him this chance.”
“We wouldn’t?” Rainbow asked from the other side of Twilight. The unicorn sighed. It was going to be more work selling them all on helping than she thought. She supposed it was the Element Bearer’s turn for a private word.
“Ok, huddle now please.”
The other five mares circled around Twilight, leaving Discord to sit on the outside knowing that they were discussing him.
Twilight could see him straining to hear them, and with her magic she sent him sliding back to his chair.
“Give us a minute, alright?” she added with a quick glance up to him. Only for a second did she notice his continued disliking that she could manipulate him magically now.
Leaning back down to the others Twilight whispered to Rainbow Dash. “What’s the matter, I thought you were going to be with me on this?”
“I am, it’s just…” Dash fumbled. She was clearly struggling between her natural mistrust of Discord and her loyalty to her friend. “How exactly are we supposed to help him learn about pony bonds or whatever when spending months with you hasn’t done the trick?”
“Some ponies learn in different ways,” Twilight said with a hint of the disappointment she was still trying to overcome. “I had hoped that he’d at least taken something out of our visits.” She wanted to believe that he really had made some progress, especially if his words – and actions – last night were any indication.
“I’m sure it ain’t your fault, Twi,” Applejack said. “I still don’t think he even wants ta learn. Why should we help him? Tha way I see it at tha end of this we could knock two apples with one buck.”
“Applejack, no matter what he’s done in the past, he deserves to be here,” the unicorn stated. “Forget about my personal connections to this for a minute – you all know those anyway – he hasn’t done anything towards any pony in all the time he’s been free, don’t you think that means he wants to stay? If any pony wants to be here, they should be accepted.”
AJ didn’t look all that convinced, and the others also looked wary.
“If he needs to learn about empathy, I think we should show him a little bit first. What kind of example would we be showing if we refused to help?”
“But what if he don’t want ta learn?” the orange earth pony asked.
“I think he will, whether he likes it or not,” Twilight answered.
“I’ll help Twilight,” Pinkie smiled. “It’s the least I can do since he’s gonna make me that cupcake throne when he gets his powers back and all.”
“I suppose I could help as well,” Rarity reluctantly said, taking another look back over to Discord’s coat. “Are you sure he couldn’t be helped by just a little coat-dying?”
Twilight shook her head. “Not really that big of an issue. Although… maybe something to cover his cutie marks. I’m not sure yet how I want to explain this to every pony else, but a pony with two cutie marks is bound to raise questions.”
“Fluttershy?” Twilight set her eyes on the yellow pony. She had been listening quietly to every pony speak, still with an emphasis on her purple friend’s state during all of this. She gave Twilight a small smile and nodded.
“How about it, AJ?” she turned to her final friend in the grouping.
Applejack’s reluctance was about as clear as Discord’s had been, but Twilight gave her an optimistic, only-slightly pleading smile. This caused the hat-adorned mare to sigh in defeat.
“Alright, fine. But I still don’t know what we can teach him that’ll convince the princesses.”
“We’ll just do the best we can,” Twilight said. She then raised her head to look at Discord, and the others followed suit.
“Ok Discord, we’ve all agreed to help. Although that’s only if you’ll accept it and agree to try,” the unicorn emphasized that last word. It was becoming such a recurring thing with them it was almost an inside joke.
The grayish temporary-pony seemed to catch that, standing back up with an eye roll of his own.
“…fine,” he said. “So now what?”
“Well, I guess we start by getting you into Ponyville,” Twilight said. The same question seemed to come to both she and Discord at the exact same time. Would he even be able to enter the town at all, even in pony form?
“We’ll give it a try first, anyway,” the purple pony awkwardly added in answer to the silent question.
“Oh joy, more border-testing,” Discord mumbled as they all began to head out, the former-draconequus lagging behind.
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"Oh joy, more border-testing"
I think you just like shocking the poor fellow. Great story. I can't wait for more.
Snrk.
The plot thickens!
This update was invisible to me on the usual "favorites" page for some reason. Only saw it had updated via the Feed. Wish FIM staff would stop try to reinvent the wheel every 2 months.
2292760 im having the same issue with "invisible updates"
2292760>>2292801
I always find updates through email. so no problems here.
Huh that was a totally ninja update, i'm glad i checked your stories again.
The potty training was priceless, here's hoping the dude ends up with a happy ending since i'm absolutely loving the chemistry between Twi and Discord.
Great chapter. How will Discord do as a pony?
I take it Discord really is like the princesses . . .
Accursed invisible updates
Well, Discord was as witty as ever; that was a serious burn on Applejack. I said, "Oh Daaayuum." after reading that.
Rarara ... could you please stop gossiping for just one minute.
Oh how I hate hoe they treat him. It will never be enough. Not till hes broken down. I would think there problems come from what was done to him
2653541 I just couldn't take that comment seriously with that typo.
2295684 Oh my God I can't even
So now they have three crises on their hooves, one of which the princesses created. 'Cause, you know, screw Ponyville and Cloudsdale; no one cares about that, right? It's taking the entire town, plus all the Element bearers, round the clock shifts to keep the towns from colliding, and now they have to "teach" Discord about bonds? Even if they throw him from one bearer to the next while they run their shifts, he's bound to slow them down and screw up whatever order there is left.
Okay, so the princesses have known about both the gates of Tartarus and Cloudsdale for a while, and now Discord and the mane six know about both as well. And yet it has not occurred to any of them that these might be related? Powerful magic holding Tartarus closed is failing. Powerful magic holding Cloudsdale aloft is failing. Is Celestia going to have to lose control of the sun before they notice this? Seems like maybe shoring up the gates oughta be secondary to looking for the root cause...
Ok i am trying to give the story another shot. But it just completely irritates me how you have written this world. No matter the pony. They are always dicks to Discord. Even Twilight is although she is nice some of the time.
Then there's the fact that you made the Regal Sisters complete idiots and asses. I haven't read one chapter where they aren't being rude or idiotic. The only reason they are doing what they do. Is because someone has a different mindset to them. Discord isn't doing anything in his allotted area's. Not harming anyone. And yet they are gonna banish him cause of that. I have never felt so much loathing to the sisters in any other story then this one. Then there's also the fact that they somehow have these powers that are able to overcome his magic
Then there's the fact that Discord is so weak in this story. First he somehow gets put on probation. Even with how powerful the elements are they can not do that( Someone has already explained why so i won't go into details about it) But Discord he is the Embodiment of Chaos. Without him Chaos cease to exist. He shouldn't even be restricted to a form. Let alone have his form forcibly changed.
Then there are her friends. And the only one i see closely resemble to the actual show at all is Flutershy. No one seems to trust Twilight at all either. Witch is weird cause they are meant to be friends. But the way you have them portrayed is close acquaintances.
I mean i'm sorry if i'm being rude. But there are a lot of things that annoy me. I like the idea of him slowly becoming more and more friendly to Twilight. While she is the only one that has trust in him. It could lead to interesting things. Such as her having to stand up against her mentor for Discord. And her having to deal with her friends scrutiny of him. But its not like that at all. I am trying to keep an open mind about the rest of the story though.
So the lord of chaos doesn't need to pee until he was turned into a pony/
Hypothetically, since him being a pony endangers this world's harmony, that he's needed in the world to keep balance, and nearby to close the gate, then could The Elements, if they were willing, be able to return Discord to normal?
Aj "needs" to learn pity or not over think