Chapter 8: Undervale
The pink unicorn stared up at the visionary stallion before her. At least twice as tall as herself, the stallion had a coat of purple so dark it was almost black. His muscles rippled with the strength of youth, despite the age that she knew he must be, not to mention the corpse-like state he had been in just moments prior. His mane flowed down his neck in waves of burnished gold, lapping at the air like ethereal flame and causing heat shimmers around it as it moved. His tail swayed behind him with much the same effect, draping over the grass behind like a shimmering blanket.
There was no doubt that this was no normal pony. From his head rose a tall horn, longer and sharper than that of a normal unicorn and twirled with bright purple and ebony, and from his back emerged a pair of wings greater than those of any pegasus, traits she knew were held only by the legendary of ponykind. The back of his wings matched his coat, while the underside faded into the same ebony that was mixed into his horn. His cutie mark stood in stark contrast to his coat, a gleaming yellow sun which, with his present energy, seemed to visibly glow.
She didn’t need to ask who he was. She was one of the few who read the stories, and one of the fewer who still believed he had ever existed at all. She bowed reverently, shivering where she stood, tears of joy and relief escaping her eyes. Was he really here to save them? Would he start the sun moving again? Would they be able to go back to the surface and revive Dream Valley?
“Well,” Helios smiled graciously, taking a single step towards her, “Somepony who remembers me; finally. And those down there,” he motioned with his eyes towards the distant marketplace, where it looked like several others had already begun to look in their direction, “How will they take to me marching down the street?”
"They will perhaps not recognize you... my... my lord?" she answered. Avid scholar though she was, the proper address evaded her recollection now that she unexpectedly had his audience, and she kept her head low as if afraid to look upon him for too long, "Though I am sure they would realize how special you are."
Helios arched an eyebrow as he answered in a flat, “What.” It wasn’t a question as much as a stunned noise, his brain, or at least his ego, seeming to break a bit at being warned most had forgotten him.
“I’m sorry,” she cringed as if she believed he might become enraged, not able to imagine how he would react to his own ponies not knowing who he was. “It’s just that after you were bound, it was forbidden to talk about you and only a few ponies passed down books about you in secret. Then, after the Sun Stone was damaged during a conflict, the magic you had stored there started to wear out. Probably five years later, it became obvious that the sun was starting to slow, nights growing colder and days growing hotter, slowing more and more each year that passed. I found the books that had been passed down in my family, but no pony believed that you had ever existed, much less that releasing you could save us.”
“And you did? Didn't you go to the authorities?” Helios carefully asked, looking about, then suddenly rolled his eyes, “Would you stop bowing and hanging your head in fear? I’m depressed enough, waking up to all this.”
“Ah,” she finally raised her head, trying to look into his deep red eyes, but unable to stop shivering. She finally glanced away from him again, “I apologize, my lord. Anyway, there weren't any authorities. There was a movement against formal leadership after you left and most government was taken away, we pretty much all lived as individuals.”
“Don’t apologize,” Helios waved a hoof dismissively, though it was hard to hide his disappointment that his proud civilization had degraded to frolicking anarchy in his absence, “I’m not going to smite you, despite what everypony once thought of me. Anyway, let’s just talk. What’s your name?”
“Twilight Wish,” Twilight gave another bow, stopping herself half-way through as she remembered his command.
“Right,” Helios gave a toothy grin, his sharp teeth making him seem, as usual, more frightening than friendly, “So let’s be friends and get along right? We’re buds! That’s still the pony way or something, I hope? So tell me the story as you know it, since you seem to have a brain about you. I want to know what details I can afford to leave out.”
“Oh,” Twilight nodded, unsure of the way he put that, but at least he was honest, “Well, the way I understand it, you and Princess Selene created this world. You controlled the sun, Selene the moon.”
“Created?” Helios chuckled, “That’s rich. Mind if I go on letting you believe we created the whole thing and didn’t just arrive with some ponies to settle here?”
“Um,” Twilight took a moment to get her head around that request, “Certainly, if you wish. At any rate, the way I understand it, Selene and you had a disagreement one day and… well Selene disappeared shortly thereafter. After that, you had to take on both day and night, but it seemed to take its toll on you. And well, things went downhill a bit, and there was an uprising because you had gotten rid of-”
“I. Did. Not,” Helios’s eyes glowed suddenly, his voice echoing down through the cavern with such volume that their entire environment seemed to shake. His face went immediately from his normal friendly expression to one of absolute rage, teeth clenched and a drop of saliva flying from the edge of his mouth, “I did NOT ‘get rid’ of Selene!”
Twilight’s eyes widened again, cringing back as Helios’s eyes glowed with rage, watching as the alicorn stood straight up and his tail and mane lashed out into the air around him like a great whirlwind. The spectacle was such that most of the ponies within line of sight had noticed. Some of them shied away to hide, but most of them began to approach, having little more to fear in their present condition.
Helios ignored the other gathering ponies, his eyes focused on Twilight as he continued, “Our sister Celestia requested our aid for the home world, claiming that our sister Luna had gone mad, a call which Selene answered despite my misgivings, while I stayed to keep tending to our colony here. Our kindness was repaid with treachery! Celestia returned, feigning sadness and claiming that she had ‘accidentally’ killed Selene when banishing our sister Luna. She said that Selene had been weak from fighting Luna and was near death anyway, which is an absurdity I refuse to believe. In my rage at my sister’s loss, I prepared to retaliate, but Celestia fled with most of our valuable magic research and sealed off the portals between our worlds before I could have my vengeance."
Helios still didn’t seem to notice other ponies gathering around to listen to him, his attention still focused on Twilight as he continued, “Thanks to foals who overheard Selene and me arguing about whether she should go, rumors spread that we had been on bad terms. Those rumors became rumors that I had killed her myself to take over this world completely, and my planned invasion of our sister world was just another mad grab for power. Tell me, Twilight, how would that make you feel?”
“T-terrible,” Twilight stammered out an answer, shaking in fear, shrinking away from her world's angry former master.
Seeing her so frightened seemed to cause him to calm down a little, his muscles losing their tension and his mane and tail returning to their previous state as he went on, “Twilight. The rumors drove me mad, and I admit that I started making bad decisions, even tyrannical ones, to put such things down. I made a lot of mistakes, and in the end the uprising was inevitable and my own fault. I did not wish to destroy my own people in a war after having planted them here for their own safety, so I chose to allow my own imprisonment instead. I worked, willingly, with the greatest unicorns I could find to cast a permanent spell to keep the sun and seasons moving, embedded in the Sun Stone, and I begged them to wake me regularly so that I could make sure that it stayed intact. They agreed to... yet no one did; So tell me, Twilight, why did they not wake me?”
“Well it was okay at first, for a long time even,” Twilight began, “And well... I assume they were afraid if they woke you up, you'd not go back and would try to take over again. No one was allowed to speak of you and most of the books about you were destroyed, since they were hoping you'd just be forgotten. A few booked managed to pass down though families like mine, but they were just seen as stories eventually. By the time the spells started to degrade, even the few of us that believed were unaware of where you had been imprisoned. We managed to escape below the surface before the sun stopped completely, but even here in Undervale, I don't think we will last for much longer.” Her eyes went towards the center of the village again, briefly, taking a deep sigh at how things had changed.
“How long has it been since the surface became unlivable?” Helios asked gently, a whiff of his mane moving to brush away the tears that had crept onto Twilight's face as she told the story.
“Over twenty years now,” Twilight sighed. “Our population is shrinking; We’re less than half of what we were only a few years ago. What’s more, the heat has penetrated the upper levels to the point that we can't go there. It may be only a matter of time before it works its way past our protective spells to here."
Helios’s eyes were drawn away from her, and suddenly he realized how many others had joined them, all staring up at him in awe. Earth ponies, unicorns, and pegasi all gathered around him, staring in utter silence and amazement. His heart bled at the sight of them, hungry and thin as they were, none of their faces having graced a proper smile in many long years. For a moment he too seemed stunned into silence.
Many had heard Twilight’s talk about him, but nopony had thought of her of as any more than a pony obsessed with her books and fantasies, not that they didn't understand her wish to escape. Now, here he was, the ancient sun god of legend had returned to them. Several of the ponies in front began to bow low, and soon all the ponies around him were following their example.
“I will save you,” Helios started, a grin suddenly spreading across his face, “I will not allow you all to die out, I swear it.” He turned to Twilight, pointing a hoof at her, “Twilight, you’re my second hoof now, and we need to talk alone. I have a plan, and I can already tell you things will go well from now on... or at least, start out well.”
------------------------------------------
“So girls,” Pinkie Pie was the first to speak up as they continued up the long, tiring staircase, “If Helios turns out to be bad, we’ll probably have to use the Elements of Harmony on him!” It sounded more as if she thought it would be fun, rather than dreading such a thing. After all, in her experience such things were normally followed by gigantic celebrations.
“I thought that was why we were looking for the other lamos- I mean ponies,” Gilda commented from overhead, having started to hover for a while to take some weight off her legs, “So they could do that thing they do with the Elements, with you, or whatever.”
“I think we will end up meeting him before we see them again,” Inkie was starting to pant a bit from the long walk.
“Exactly!” Pinkie agreed, “That means we need to decide what elements all of you are, so that we can all group up and shoot a rainbow at him!”
“I’m pretty sure there’s more to it than that,” Blinkie snorted, “And can’t we take a bit of a rest?”
"There might be more to it than that," Pinkie admitted, "I wasn't really listening when Twilight or Celestia was explaining about them all those other times." Yet somehow she had still managed to participate.
“Sounds like a great idea to me,” Ditzy flew casually behind Gilda, slowly rolling through random angles as she flew, though managing to stay in the same direction, “What could possibly go wrong? Oh wait, never mind, he said to never ask that.”
“Well, the Great and Powerful Trixie is obviously the Element of Magic,” Trixie paused in front, causing the others to stop as well lest they bump into her, as she turned around to face them.
Everyone else seemed to take this as a good enough reason to stop and rest. It was unclear how much further the top of the staircase was after all, and no telling who or what they would meet there.
“I don’t even know what the choices are,” Gilda landed above the stairs from Trixie, seating herself down as well, “Is there anything cool? You know like the Element of Awesomeness, or Rage, or Speed?"
“Generosity, Loyalty, Honesty, and Kindness are the ones that are left!” Pinkie smiled, looking about, clearly excited to be discussing the blossoming friendship that she, at least, perceived.
“You know I’m pretty sure it doesn’t work like this,” Blinkie repeated the complaint, “I mean you can’t just group any six ponies and have them each line up perfectly with one of those.”
“Trixie thinks you could be Generosity,” Trixie claimed.
“In what way am I Generosity?” Blinkie tilted her head.
“Well you’re very generous with explosives, aren’t you?” Trixie nodded matter-of-factly, satisfied with her logic, "And not just giving them away either; the Mad Bomber is also generous in their use."
“Well, if I had to be one, I suppose it’d be Honesty,” Gilda shrugged, “I always tell it like it is and all.”
"Is that like the Element of Being a Jerk?" Blinkie mused, "I half-regret not getting that one, come to think of it."
“Gilda, you'll do great at that,” Pinkie smiled, earning an eye from Gilda, who wasn’t sure which of those things Pinkie thought she’d do great at.
“I like being nice to ponies... and other things too,” Ditzy said, “I’ll be Kindness.”
“Right,” Pinkie smiled, “We’re doing great! We’re just missing Loyalty!”
“Trixie thinks it may be a bad sign that none of us wanted Loyalty,” Trixie murmured, almost to herself.
“I will be Loyalty,” Inkie stated, though she didn't sound very enthusiastic about it, “I guess I tend to stand in front of everyone a lot. That will have to be close enough.”
“Then we’re set,” Pinkie smiled, “Onwards and upwards! Now all we have to do is plan the party for after we save Equestria!”
---------------------------------------
“I don’t mean to question you, my lord,” Twilight began, walking next to Helios and into the more ancient area of the city, “But this is not something I’ve done before, to say the least.”
It had taken them a long time to get clear of the crowd, and the news of Helios’s arrival had no doubt already spread through what little was left of this world's pony residents. In the end, it had taken hours of speaking and answering excitable questions in as vague a way as possible before he got away from them.
What's more, Helios couldn't bring himself to leave the desperate, hungry-looking ponies to their own devices, so took time to turn a large amount of non-vital objects into food with his magic. It wasn't very good food, granted, as transmogrification wasn't exactly his specialty, but he was storing a lot more energy than anypony else there so he felt it was the least he could do. None of them complained about all the dry hay and stale-tasting water that he conjured.
On one hoof, this had made him wait a lot longer than he wished before he could get back to his little playthings in the prison chambers. On the other hoof, such acts had completely solidified his position as the leader of the desperate creatures. He was certain at this point that they would do whatever he wished without question, and all he had to do was ask nicely. In theory at least.
“I wouldn’t ask you to do this if it wasn’t absolutely necessary, Twilight,” Helios nodded, “Do you think I like to do this? Look. I already agreed to let the innocent ones go, but we need that Element. All you have to do is make sure she is separated from the others before I send them back. You’re a unicorn, she’s an earth pony. Just push her around with your magic or something while I distract the others. The way I have this planned, they won't even know that we did anything.”
“I’ll try,” Twilight sighed, clearly not comfortable with what she was doing. “Where are we going? These are the ruins; I actually searched this place extensively when we first found it while making the cave for Undervale. I was wishing hard to find you, but never did.”
Helios chuckled, "Oh my dear Twilight, but you were so close to where I was. You'll see."
Helios had led her further into the cave where few of the residents of Undervale had ever ventured, save to salvage bricks for their homes, and even then they had never gone any further than they absolutely needed. Most every pony in the settlement had been focused on survival, so there wasn’t very much interest in studying ancient ruins aside from among visionaries like Twilight. She was likely the only one that had even seriously contemplated the importance of the ruins here.
Very few of the buildings here had survived intact; none of the buildings that hadn't specifically been protected by ancient magic were still standing, in fact. The only large building in the entire cavern was the one at the very furthest end, where no pony but Twilight had been for a very long time, in all likelihood.
“This is where I was put, in the ancient Temple of the Sun, which I suppose was forgotten when ponies forgot about law and order in general,” Helios said with a slight bit of venom in his words, pointing his nose towards the great structure ahead of them and smiling grimly, "How ironic to be imprisoned in my own temple," he paused, "Though I guess it's just a bit more ironic that it ended up underground."
It was in ruins, as was everything in this world, though amazingly well kept, perhaps from the magic inherent in such places, or perhaps simply because this section of the cave didn't seem to have experienced as much earthly movement. Though most of the carvings and statues had crumbled beyond recognition, the design was still very much like a temple, and Twilight had always felt a certain amount of reverence when coming here.
Above the front of the temple was a huge carving that looked as if it had once been a pony's head, perhaps Helios' given the faded colors of the part that was left. On both sides of the head were huge cathedral-sized windows, which were all empty save for shards of colored glass littering the ground around them and still jaggedly protruding about the edges of their frames. Inside, what had once been comfortable seating and a stage up front was now rotted to oblivion, only appearing as piles of debris. Towards the very back was a jewel encrusted throne that still looked spectacular despite its cushions being rotted out from the seat itself.
She looked back up at Helios as he strode aside her. He had insisted on her walking beside him, rather than behind him. In fact, despite her misgivings about parts of his master plan, he had been nothing but kind to her, even going so far as to move ahead to open up passages and carefully carrying her over rocky or muddy areas. She began to find herself believing his side of the myth more than what the books had said, however much she loved them. Even after being locked up by his own ponies for centuries, he was still willing to help the civilization that had been so thankless rather than taking the easy way out and leaving for another realm.
Twilight found herself imagining how things would be once he had repaired things. She supposed it would be back to the law and order of ages past and less frolicking mindlessly as they did when food and magic were still so plentiful. Then again, that life had more often than not only resulted in outsiders trying to take what they had. Perhaps having a real society would allow their numbers to grow and turn the valley back into a proper kingdom one day. Even more, perhaps she would end up with a place in that kingdom herself as the trusted scholar or adviser in Helios' new court...
“Here,” Helios’s voice made Twilight jerk slightly, snapping her out of a daydream as Helios looked down at her and spoke, “There is a secret passage in here. Had I know you were all underground, I would have just taken this path to begin with, though I’m not sure you would have liked meeting me as much had I not recharged and healed myself first."
"We would follow you regardless," Twilight spoke, confidently, "You are the last hope we have... and you’ve been very kind to me, more than you had to."
"Well see," Helios smiled back at her before continuing further into the temple.
Twilight followed quietly for a moment before inquiring, “I wasn’t able to find any passages, either by magic or searching.”
“Yeah, about that,” Helios grunted, staring at one of the back walls of the temple, “It’s well-hidden, and also purely mechanical so standard 'secret door finding' spells would miss it. Given that, it will probably also be broken by now."
“So we can break into it?” Twilight asked.
“I could. We'll see when we get there if we even have to," Helios’s face slowly turned into a grin, “Actually, I think we'll stop here and take a bit of time to go over our plans. Then if no one arrives, I'll go force it open for you.”
“Somepony else is on their way?” Twilight tilted her head.
“Maybe, but never mind that,” Helios turned to her, smiling, and sat back on his haunches, “Let’s talk about some future plans. First, I’m going to need you to find five of your best friends, preferably ones that have had it a bit hard; you know, so they’re less likely to question some of my more questionable orders.”
“You are certainly honest,” Twilight felt nervous, once again, but still did not question his commands, partially because he was so disarmingly honest about things like that.
"Yes I am," Helios replied, smirking.
--------------------------------------
The heroes had once again arrived at a hallway, all of them having been quite relieved when the stairs ended. They had probably walked up around fifty flights of stairs, and now were greeted by the same bare hall as they had seen below. Luckily for them, there was another wall not a hundred feet from the top of the stairs, and a large lever aside it, looking very much the same as the one on the other below.
“We’re here!” Pinkie bounced forward with another ‘sproing’ noise, immediately grabbing hold of the lever and tugging as hard as she could.
“Should we really just be yanking it without any thought at all?” Gilda suggested, tactfully.
Blinkie Pie sighed, “We got this far by jerking the first switch we saw, so I guess that method's worked out great for us so far.”
“Here we go,” Inkie moved up to the other side of the switch to Pinkie, pressing against it until it finally budged with a cranking noise, the sound of ancient gears turning as the door began to open inwards towards them.
The group took a few steps back, peering through the cloud of dust that arose as the door swung open, waiting to see what was there. What they saw was the last thing they expected to encounter.
It was Helios. He certainly didn’t look as they had seen him before, having now regenerated from his pitiful state, but somehow his eyes made him instantly recognizable. Beside him, a pink unicorn was standing which they had never seen, her own eyes wide as she watched the door open. It looked as though the two had just then been approaching the wall.
“Girls!” Helios grinned, “Oh girls, I was beginning to lose faith in you, but it looks like you found the way out. I was just about to come down and see you. You know, with help. This filly came with me to help you, and for No. Other. Reason… that I’m willing to tell you now, but no worries! I swore you would all be sent home and that's exactly where you're going.”
Stats
Page generated in 0.025 seconds
Total duration
1,071 users online
2,079,895 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
o my
Helios seems a bit unhinged to me.
The G1 did love frolicking. However, it was because they knew to enjoy the moments of peace before something else comes along to threaten their existence. Though, I've been favoring the thought of a G1 kingdom like Equestria. They do have a queen after all.
11690 Yeah I don't like to have bad guys that do things because they are evil and for no other reason; I like having them that either have reasons or maybe even honestly believe they are the good guy. As for the G1's, I think some people did assume this would be a fanfic based around bashing G1 ponies, but that's not really what it was meant to be and I'm trying to actually stay as faithful to their world and only alter what's needed to fit it into the G4 universe.
Really good, just wish we would have gotten a snippet on how the others were doing.
Huh, I was thinking that Ditzy would end up being Laughter.
Selene got "Put Down" during the Nightmare Moon fiasco? Alicorns DAMN it! As if Luna didn't already have ENOUGH guilt over the whole thing...
So yah, clearly he can't trust `Tia at this point, may be unaware that Luna is still a factor, is trying to work in a little revenge on the side, and is also quite clearly off his rocker. At least that explains his actions up to this point. Not sure at what point he desided to go the Mind Rape route with his subordanates, but that is probbably safe to gloss over.
You want to know what ~I~ want to know? I want to know WHICH conflict broke the Sun Stone. Was it that overweight Bee Queen? Water Damage from flooding caused by that one aquatic fiend with the death ray pendant? That lava monster turned Daimond Monster probbably wasn't anywhere NEAR the Sun Stone before the Rainbow of Light ground him down into a fine powder... I HIGHLY DOUBT that the shadow stealing smoke monster had anything to do with it... That Mino/Centaur from the series pilot got himself blown up by the Rainbow of Light (Dang, G1 was bloodthursty, wasn't it?), but since he was basicly Proto-Nightmare Moon, declairing him "DoA" might be a bit haisty. ...heck, even if he ISN'T scedualed to make a reappearence, I enjoy the thought of him on the dark side of the planet, basking in a night that never ends. ...and jumping away from ANYTHING prismatic. Rainbow Dash would probbably give him the next best thing to a heart attack!
11778
...except that Laughter was already taken.
I stayed up 'till 1:45 AM reading this, ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?
Well, you should be.
Because I loved it.
Okay....now we've got an idea of why Helios is so nuts; he doesn't actually know what went down when Celestia sealed Nightmare Moon away and chooses to believe the worst. Add in thousands of years of captivity to stew in his own juices and a lack of awareness that Luna is a factor and it's less a battle between good and evil and more the Merry Mixed-up Marvel way of doing things: two sets of good guys beating the holy living tar out of one another because of a misunderstanding.
Ok, why are there two Helios's and two Twilight Wish's? Are the G1 ponies that kidnapped the 5 EoH some sort of evil mirror versions of the G1s from Undervale? This is starting to seem like theworstwritter's Double Rainbow(Time Noodles)
11827
Trixie's spell made them travel in time and space, actually when they fred Helios they created a time paradox because it was them who fred him.
(i think, i might be wrong)
11827
Yeah, they're in a different time. I wouldn't call it so much a paradox but a self-fulling event. The fact the event happened is why it happened. Time travel is such a fun concept to play around with.
Especially earlier, Helios' personality reminded me alot of the Monster in the Shadows, from the Order of the Stick webcomic.
So what's going to happen now? Is he going to send them back home if he does than thats another time pardox. I hate time traveling.
Yep, I was really confused for minute here, but I guess time travel will do that. Really enjoying this one, every time I read Helios voice, I read it like Scar from The Lion King for some reason.
Doesn't Heilos realize that y kidnapping Celestia he's basically condemning another world to the same fate his suffered? Is it that he just doesn't care or is it that he has a solution /believes that Luna will take care of it for him? Does he even realize that Luna's back from the moon?
11901
Misery loves company. Nuff said about his current psyche.
11724 The best villains are those who are have a real and believable motivation. This story keeps getting better and better.
11724 The best villains are those who are have a real and believable motivation. This story keeps getting better and better.
In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a royal court for a crime they didn't commit.
These ponies promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Ponyville underground.
Today, still wanted by the monarchy, they survive as soldiers of fortune.
If you have a problem, and no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire: The Neigh team.
*Cue theme music*
Wow answering all these is getting harder.
11739 Yeah I'm going to finish up the time loop then everything will come together for the final stretch. It finishes looping next chapter.
11778 Ditzy is funny on accident :) But yeah, Pinkie won't give up her laughter position :P
11790 You'll see more on that first thing next chapter :p As for which conflict broke it, it was the episode with the bee queen that was the 'last straw' though it had went without proper maintenance for long before that so the enchantment had worn thin. I figured that made sense because the Sun Stone had gone nuts and burned a forest down when they moved it. It's also nice that someone gets the G1 references :p
11791 And no one wants to take away Pinkie's laughter and turn her into Meanie Pie again :p
11804 I'm glad your happy :p And I want a little face icon like your icon. Way better than our Sweetie face
11815 Not just a thousand years of captivity, but a thousand years in extremely ticklish chains with an inability to laugh :p But yeah, he probably should have had more meaningful conversations with his siblings >.>
11827 I'll post a timeline with the next chapter for those confused with what happened when :)
11852 It's not a paradox as of yet, we'll see about later :p
11859 Yes it happened because it happened >.> This is why I hope humans never develop time travel.
11863 Not familiar with that one; I actually based him on a villain from my as of yet unpublished book (cause I haven't found an agent yet because I'm lazy and/or confused about what to do) that I wrote. If you want to link me to that comic though, feel free :)
11884 Not as long as he makes sure to send them back to a time after they left :) He's being very careful about paradoxes since the loop seems to work in his favor as is.
11892 And now that you've said that, so will I >.> It's a fitting voice though.
11901 With the condition of his planet, it would be easier to try to coup Equestria and move his ponies there than to fix the entire ecosystem from scratch on his world.
12015 He is rather lonely :(
12023 I'm glad you like it/him :D
12031 That fanfic needs to be written >.>
12133
If this is a time related thing and the evil G1 ponies are from the future after Helios was released, then why in the 'future' is Helios imprisoned?
12133
The picture is called Sweetie Belle Derelle.
I love this story more and more with each chapter. Anyway, even if there is a time paradox I'm sure Derpy could figure out a way to fix it, what with all her experience with time and space. And if not she can find a way to contact the Doctor and he can fix it! ...I really want the Doctor to appear at some point.
Such a good story!
ME WANTS MORE!
ME NEEDS MORE!
ME LOVES THIS STORY!
Hey, you know what this story calls for?
A partyy!
Anyway, good story! Can't wait for next chapter.
12156 Trixie's little trick took them back in time, not forward. Basically they released him to begin with. Again, I'll put up a timeline or something :)
12572 While I don't intend to have Doctor Whooves appear personally at this point, Helios has met the Doctor, as I think I hinted at one point. I'm pondering having follow up stories involving him.
12866 I hope people keep loving it :p I'm really worried I'll disappoint later, so I'll try to be careful not to
11852
MY HEAD.
For the first 4 or so chapters I was laughing at about every paragraph, while still taking the story seriously. Then, it just got a little to grim for me. Maybe you could take that into consideration? It's also pretty rough to follow.
13328 Well I would need more specific examples before I could take that into consideration. "Too grim", "not as funny" and "pretty rough" are all sort of things that mean something different to everyone. If you want to private message me a bunch, feel free to, and if you gave me enough good advice I could let you pre-read future chapters prior to publishing (which is the only way the advice will do a lot of good in the long run). I would really like to have more people's pre-reading, but have only found one person that will do so.
Yeah, murdering someone out of sheer spite because her own sister went coo coo for Coco pops does sound like Celestia's MO.