Acquiring Swag (The British kind).
Chapter 2
Acquiring Swag (The British kind).
"I'm sorry." I heard Gilda whisper as I came to. "I didn't mean too." She whispered again.
I opened my eyes, and took in the sight of Gilda looking out the window. She had tears welling up in her eyes, and it was obvious she didn't know I was awake.
"Cheer up." I said with a hoarse voice as I sat up.
Gilda froze, and a look of shock was plastered onto her face.
"You alright?" I asked.
Gilda's look of shock was soon replaced with anger. "You son of a bitch! How long have you been awake?" She asked, rushing over to me, and pressing her forehead against mine in a predatory manner.
"Long enough to know that you could use a friend." I answered.
Gilda stumbled for words, and backed off a bit. She took a deep breath, and looked out the window. There was an awkward tension in the air, but that was broken when Gilda let out a sigh, and laid her head down on my lap, still looking out the window.
"So... what's wrong?" I asked.
"I broke three of your ribs." She said nonchalantly.
"Is that all? Well, that's nothing to cry about." I said, trying my best to cheer her up.
"That's not what I was crying about." Gilda responded without a hint of emotion in her voice.
"What were you crying about?" I asked.
Gilda sighed, and pointed out the window. When I looked at what Gilda pointed out, I was awe struck. It was quite possibly the most beautiful rainbow I'd ever seen in my life.
"A rainbow." I said.
"Yeah..." Gilda said. "Just a rainbow."
Things had gotten weird enough, so I didn't push the subject. We just sat there in silence. You know... I really hate silence. Its devastating... silence that is. The calm before the storm. The silence that ensues when you are too close to an explosion. I really hate silence, because I know that silence never brings anything good. Its like a blade is placed at your throat, and you can do nothing but wait for the end to come... and that's not even the worst part! Time starts to become distorted in the quiet. Things slowdown, and details become evident. You become aware of every little thing! Its terrible.
"Are you alright?" Gilda asked, emancipating me from my trance.
"Yeah... why wouldn't I be?" I asked in return.
"Well... you just looked really... how do I describe this?" She took a second to think it over. "You looked fucking pissed." She said.
That's not what I expected.
"Really? Hmmm. Well whatever." I brushed my surprise off, then, as if the flood gates of logic broke, and the water of knowledge poured right into my miniscule cranium, a question formed.
"How did you keep me in such good condition, and how can I sit up if my ribs are suppose to be broken?" I asked.
"Magic, what else?" She informed as if it was common knowledge... which it may very well be now that I think of it.
"Magic eh... I suppose anything can happen." I said to myself. "So, magic... like riding a broom, and waving a wand, magic?" I asked.
"What? No, more like the kind that involves a unicorn, and a shit-ton of money." She informed.
Unicorns... motherfucking unicorns...
"You know, now that we're on the subject, I should tell you what the plan is. Right, I was going to take you to the king, and he would have figured out a way for you to pay back your debt... but things have changed. In a weeks time, there is going to be a trial to determine whether or not you are stable enough to be allowed into modern society. Also, thanks to your injuries, the king's in debt, and fucking political shit is going on." She informed.
Fucking political shit... sounds like home. "Why am I having the trial?" I asked.
"You ran off, and caused quite a commotion the other day. Hell, you flew without wings, and nearly gave a few passersby a heart attack!" She scolded.
"I flew?" I asked.
"What? Are you saying you didn't?" she asked.
Ha, I must be getting good if people... griffons, think I'm flying when I run. "Of course not, all I was doing was running." I informed.
"Then how the hell did you get on top of that building when I was chasing you!?" She asked.
The application of pressure against a flat surface at a 45 degree angle, changing my forward momentum into upward momentum. "I ran up the wall." I answered.
"Bullshit. I say it was magic." She said with determination.
"And, I say it was science. Regardless, I'm gonna need a few things if I plan on sticking around here, and for the trial." I answered, getting out of bed.
Luckily for me, they left my pants, and shoes on, but I lacked my shirt.
"Alright, but thanks to your outburst yesterday, I'm being forced to stay by your side until the trial... so no fucking shenanigans, alright?" she asked.
"Not a problem." I answered "So... where's my shirt?" I asked.
"My sis jacked it. You probably won't get it back." She informed.
"Alright then, we need to find a tailor... and cash now that I think of it." I said, mapping out my priorities.
"Princess Mi Amore Cadenza has donated a couple hundred standard-C to you." Gilda informed.
"Standard-C? And moreover, who's Princess Mi Amore Cadenza?" I asked, lost in terminology.
"Standard currency... aka the shit that gets you shit. And, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza is one of the three princesses of Equestria, and apparently, a supporter of intellectual endeavors." She informed.
"You know what? You sound really different when you talk about this Equestria place." I informed.
"What of it? It's none of your business so lay off." She said in a sudden blast of anger.
"Your one touchy she-la, Ain't ya?" I asked in a cheeky Australian accent... just to piss her off more.
"Don't push your luck you prick." She threatened.
"Oooo, kitty got claws. Meow." I said, making a scratching gesture.
Gilda then proceeded to slash my right arm with her claws... which are much bigger then any kitties.
"You know, I think I want out of this relationship... it's getting a bit abusive." I said in a monotone voice, as I watched blood pour from the gashes.
"What the fuck! I attack you, and blood is pouring from your arm, yet you still make a joke. Maybe you are unstable." She informed.
"Which is why I need some gear, and an escape route." I informed.
"What?" She said with shock evident in her voice.
"What? That's a joke." I hope. "You gotta take things less seriously or you'll get an aneurism. Can griffons even get an aneurism?" I asked.
"Punk." She said, looking back out the window.
"Yeah, and don't forget it. Anyway, can I get something to clean this up, or do I have to lick it up?" I asked.
"Why the hell would you lick it up?" She asked "That's nasty."
"It's better then having it drip everywhere." I informed.
After a couple minutes of first aid, and a few more traded insults, I was ready to get out of that place.
"So, where's the nearest tailor?" I asked.
"Just down that way a bit." She said. "He's a friend of mine, makes most of my gear when I head out." She informed.
"Head out? I thought you worked at the hospital with your sister." I said.
"Do you really think I could work at a hospital? I'll answer that for you, hell no. I'm an adventurer... actually, I'm THE adventurer now that DD is retired." She informed.
"Who's DD?" I asked.
"An old hag that writes novels loosely based on her old adventures... I say loosely based because she has to tone down her books so they can be more appealing to a larger crowd."
"You act as if you know her."
"She's an acquaintance. I was gonna surprise a friend awhile back by introducing her to her, but... lets just go." She said, getting drastically more timid.
"You alright?" I asked.
"Yeah, yeah... just go." She said.
From there, we made the rather short journey in silence. When we arrived at the tailor, I was rather surprised with how well off he seemed. It appears as though clothing is more popular then what I thought.
" 'ello. Whaddya buying." A large griffon asked gruffly.
"Clothes." I answered.
"No shit, ya hairless chimp, I mean what kinda clothes. So... spit it out." He demanded.
"What kind of clothes are there." I responded in a deep, calm, voice. I was pissed off at this guy's attitude, and he was going to reap what he sewed... whether he want's to or not.
"Uh..." He stumbled at my sudden change of manner.
I gave a cheeky smirk. "I asked what kind of clothes are there?" I asked once again.
"We have... um..." He stumbled again.
"Listen prick." I said in calm, and pleasant voice. "I don't know if your fucked in the head, but you're going to shapeup a bit, or I'm leaving this shithole, and taking my business elsewhere." I said, keeping as much pleasantness in my voice as I could.
"Go... just go... please don't hurt me." He cowered.
Okay, maybe I over did it.
All of a sudden, another griffon burst out of a changing room, and started squirting the big oaf with a water bottle.
"Get, get!" He yelled as the bigger griffon ran off. "And don't come back tell you've changed your attitude you little rascal!" He yelled in an overly flamboyant tone. "Now, what can I do for you sugar-plumb?" He asked, addressing me.
"Oh... uh..." I stumbled for words at the site that took place before my eyes.
"Listen prick." He said in a clam, and overly flamboyant voice "I don't know if your fucked in the head, but your going to..." He started to chuckle, and struggled holding back his laughter. Once I realized his joke, I had a hard time holding back a chuckle myself.
"Alrighty. The name is Gregory." He said, extending a claw.
"Hi, You can call me Kraken." I greeted, returning his gesture with a hand shake.
"So, what can I do you for stranger." He said in a flirty manner.
"I just need a new shirt, and possibly a pair of shoes." I informed. "But, due to my uniqueness, I can't just up, and buy something from a market somewhere."
"Well, your certainly unique." He said, eyeing me.
I'm beginning to feel a bit uncomfortable without my shirt on.
"Tell you what big boy, since your a friend of prissy, I'll make you a new pair of shoes on the house, but the shirt will cost you." He informed.
"Prissy?" I asked.
"That's me, and if you ever mention that name again, I'll kill you." Said Gilda.
"Right, so lets get to it." Said Gregory in a far too excited manner.
Gregory led me into another room, and pulled out measuring tape. "This is going to be fun." He said, letting out a borderline evil laugh.
It felt like I was thrown into a tornado, and ten seconds later I had on a white dress shirt, and a pair of fine dress shoes.
"So, what do you think?" Gregory asked.
The clothing was of above average quality, and it felt very comfortable, but the shoes wouldn't do when I have to run. "I love the clothes, but I'm a bit of an athlete... I guess I'd prefer something more maneuverable... and warmer." I said.
"Alright, I can do that." Gregory said, pulling on a pair of hipster glasses he got out of nowhere, and biting down on a pencil... then, it was back into the whirlwind.
As fast as that wind came, it left, and I was left adorned with some interesting clothing. I say interesting, because it's not exactly what you'd think of for an athlete to wear in cold whether, but It was certainly comfortable... and it would definitely do the job. It was basically a white long sleeved T-shirt, with a black, hooded robe draped over it, kept on with a belt around the waist... it reminded me a lot of the robes Jedi wear. The shoes where... they where something. They looked like your typical hiking boots, but they felt much lighter. Beyond that, they seemed to have been color coordinated with my new clothes, taking on a black and white color scheme.
"This is... awesome." I said.
"Good, It'll cost you a hundred Talons." He informed.
I looked at him, then I looked at Gilda with confusion plastered on my face. Why the hell would anybody need a hundred talons?
"A hundred Talons is equal to Fifty standard-C." Gilda informed... much to my relief.
I paid the fee, and headed out.
"So... what now?" Gilda asked.
I flicked my hood up, and took a deep breath. The air was thin, and cold. I liked it... the dry taste of it reminded me of iron.
"Do you want to do anything?" I asked, not foreseeing anything I would need right away.
"I uh... no, not really." She answered.
"Alright then, how 'bout we pay a visit to your sister?" I asked.
"That's cool, I should visit her anyway." She returned.
"Alright...ONWARD HO, PRISSY!" I yelled.
I think I'm going to like it here.
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Kraken had better start running. Gilda's gonna be on the warpath with the Prissy comment...
What the hell is up with Gilda sister? Did she has a thing for apes? Also, Did Kraken will met the rest of the main 6 or he will just continue to piss Gilda off?
1884615 The sister will be explained in the next chapter, and as for the mane six... I plan on having them meet up in the future, but it may be awhile.
I need moar MOAR! you defy this Russian from a new chapter I will send you to the gulag with no vodka
Great story can't wait for next chapter
I just wish there were more Gilda stories
LoL! Hillarious attidutes! Update soon!
Oh I do want to know how he will escape from Gilda.
1885024 I'm debating whether or not I should add the comedy tag. What do you think?
So that makes two gryphons with soem pdd attraction to him. I am guessing it is the muscles.
1886377 You're in for a surprise if that's what you think.
1886402
True, though how I came to my conclusion is understandable. Both times he was without a shirt.
1886438 I agree, and your guess was completely understandable, but it's a bit weirder then that....
1887474
I am pretty sure it won't be that wierd, whatever the reason why he is being found so attractive is.
*minutes
*cowered
*borderline
1890653 Oh god, I can't believe that slipped past me! Thanks for pointing that out. (I fixed it, and thank you.)
1891439
I believe you meant manner unless you happen to be talking about a mansion.
1926696 I've been studying old English, and my spelling is sometimes not up to par... forgive me for the mishap, and I shall try and better my spelling.
The story feels rushed, and his lack of reaction to most events along with running so soon after waking up are flaws of the story that have made me lose interest.
1959069 Honestly speaking, I agree... but I wasn't trying to get much attention with the first few chapters, as far as I see it, I'm still writing the prolog... I'm sorry you lost interest, but the reasons you stated, besides the story being rushed, is so I can set up some plot, and action later on... I've got a plan, but I haven't been able put a lot of effort into this hobby of mine.... I have bills to pay and that requires money so.... yeah. Comeback to this story in a couple of weeks, and then tell me your opinion... or you can settle with your decision, I'm not you.
I find this story interesting.
*russian accent or some shit* I give thumb, you write more yes?
fun to read, try to slow down a bit, try making the scenes last a bit longer. (that way I will have more to read)
2157713 Sure thing, I have a habit of writing short chapters that really aren't chapters... that way I can upload more, faster. As of late, though, life has gotten in the way, so I'll probably end up writing longer chapters to compensate for time.
Great fic so far, looking foward to future chapters.
2356845 Only another week or so, I'm having a content drop, and a new chapter should be out then.
Hopefully you'll be able to finish this one not like the last because so far I enjoyed this.
2366629 Define last. I've never cancelled one of my own fics... save for Dashing with Rainbows, which is getting a reboot. The fics that were cancelled belonged to people that are no longer able, or willing, to be apart of this page.
Okay I need to ask: Was the line " " 'ello. Whaddya buying." A large griffon asked gruffly " suppose to be read in the same way that the merchant says it in Resident Evil 4? Because I read it out loud that way!
2428616 It is suppose to be read that way, I'm glad somebody picked up on that.
im kinda waiting for the point were he goes "well its been fun...im gonna wake up now." seriously, no sane creature could handle waking up in a new world (universe?} surrounded by mythical birds of prey and not be freaked out.
my 5 bits says he thinks its a dream 
excellent story so far, liked and faved.
Ending had me laughing. xD
Its Ok but not good...3,5/10