• Published 19th Dec 2012
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Better Than Best - Signas



No matter how amazing and talented a pony may be, she will always be missing at least one aspect required to be "perfect". Lightning Dust, believing herself to already be the pinnacle of ponykind, struggles to find the missing pieces.

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Ch. 3 - Like An Advice Machine

Life can throw some interesting turns at you when you least expect it. I'm not just talking about the academy incident, either; any seemingly normal activity can turn horribly right or horribly, horribly wrong in a single wing beat. Either way, all you can really wonder is how you got in that situation in the first place. That's the reason I even came to Ponyville... and why I was soaring fifty feet above that same town, hunched over a tiny scooter's busted handlebars like some kind of radical circus clown. Oh, and I was upside-down, which was pretty sweet but also not doing me any practical favors.

Yeah, my philosophical dilemmas are pretty extreme, much like the rest of my life.

The first issue that needed to be addressed was how I could get out of this situation without being ten kinds of bucked. Luckily, my stunt-induced euphoria wasn't strong enough to make me forget that I have wings, so I had at least one easy solution right there. That left one other issue; the scooter may have been half the size of what I should have been riding, but it was just unwieldy enough that I couldn't easily balance myself while carrying it. So, unless I was prepared to make the most hardcore landing in Equestrian history, I'd need to sacrifice the poor scooter in order to make my getaway. Any logical mind would tell you that only one of those options was feasible to begin with.

"Alright, thinking time is over." Wings at full mast, I attempted to push myself the rest of the way through my current flip. A few beats was all it took before I found myself slowly shifting upright. "Nice! Alright, let's land this puppy!" Easier said than done, of course. I had spent too much time literally hanging around, so my forward momentum was sorely lacking. I attempted to beat my wings a few more times, but I just wasn't getting enough speed. And Celestia dammit, I needed speed.

A familiar combination of adrenaline and ecstasy washed over me, as I plummeted to my probably-not-death for the second time that day. I had already busted my back, and chances were pretty high that I'd be racking up the injury count in a matter of seconds. A slanted rooftop suddenly appeared in my vision, giving me a chance to possibly avoid horrible pain; if I could position myself just so, I'd be able to ride the curve and make as smooth a landing as I was gonna get. Gripping the handlebars as tightly as hooves allow, I braced myself for impact.

And impact there was.

My forward momentum may not have been fast, but my falling speed certainly was. I managed to land on the roof's slant, but I guess my body decided it had had enough and chose to stay behind. The last thing I saw before tumbling through the dirt was the scooter riding off into the sunset, unconcerned about the ponies diving out of its way. In a way, that scooter was a lot like me, except my handlebars actually work.

"Holy cow, are you okay?!"

Oh, right, I had almost completely forgotten about Scooter Kid. I was a little scraped up, but I've taken worse hits before. After a quick dusting off, I faced the orange filly charging towards me. "Okay? Did you not see that sweet landing?" I shot her a grin to let her know I was fine.

"Yeah, real sweet," she said with a smirk. "Triple flips are hard enough, so going for a quad may have been a little too ambitious for a beginner."

"I was actually going for five flips, but whatever..." I shot a glance towards where the scooter had made it's stage exit. "Uh, sorry about your scooter."

Unlike most foals who throw a fit after losing a toy, this filly was refreshingly cool about it. "Forget it, I'll just go find it later. I should have warned you about those wonky handlebars anyway." If I can be completely honest, I was already taking a shine to this kid. As far as Ponyville citizens go, she was pretty cool.

"That scooter did look pretty old. I'll bet you gave it one heck of a beating."

"Heh, well... I may have dropped it off a cliff one too many times." I take back what I said. She wasn't cool, she was bucking awesome. "I swear, that stupid thing is cursed. That's why I'm trying to save up for a new one."

"Hey, if life didn't have a little excitement, it would be too boring! And you seem like a filly who loves excitement." I reached out my bruised foreleg; it was time for some serious bumpage. "Name's Lightning Dust."

A warm, fuzzy feeling surged through me as her little orange hoof pounded my own. "I'm Scootaloo! Nice to meet you, ma'am!"

I had heard that name once already; Sweet-Cheeks had mentioned her when she was talking to her sister. Something about "crusading", which struck me as odd since I'm pretty sure Celestia's soldiers stopped doing that ages ago. Plus, why would a kid be interested in that? Especially Scootaloo, who seemed more concerned with important stuff like getting intense air and being radical? The mysteries just kept piling.

But enough about that. More important was the fact that Sweet-Cheeks' sister knew Scootaloo, which meant that Scootaloo might have known Sweet-Cheeks! But seeing as how my more forward attempts at getting information fell flat, I'd need to try something a little more subtle. "Hey kid, why aren't you hanging out with your friends?" Yeah, that was subtle enough.

An adorably pathetic frown crossed Scootaloo's face. "Well, one of my friends is helping her family this week, and the other one thinks we can't crusade with only two ponies because it's not... uh..."

"Efficient?"

"Yeah, that." Her wings started buzzing with the fury of a filly scorned. "It's stupid! Our cutie marks aren't gonna show up unless we do something, so why does Sweetie Belle have to come up with dumb logic like that?"

Historically, soldiers wouldn't crusade unless they were in huge groups. Of course, that's because they were a bunch of pansies. However, based on her mention of cutie marks, it was obvious that her definition of crusading was a little different. I could certainly understand her frustration, though; being a blank flank sucks, especially when you're approaching your teenage years.

"...And Rainbow Dash isn't here either." Scootaloo kicked up a cloud of dirt as she sulked. "It's basically just me right now."

"Rainbow Dash?" I was about to make the same mistake I made earlier; I couldn't let myself get my hopes up, even though she just implied that she was a friend of Dash. "You, uh... you're friends with Rainbow Dash, then?"

That seemed to cheer the little tyke up; a huge grin spread across her face. "Am I? Of course I am, she's only the most awesome, spectacular, extreme, courageous, and all-around perfect big sister in Equestria!... So, yeah, I guess you could say I am."

Whoa whoa whoa whoa. Whoa. My ears may have still been full of dirt, but there was no way I didn't hear her say the "S-Word". At that moment, I couldn't see her as anything other than an orange angel, who had descended upon me on a blessed scooter. "Y-You're Rainbow Dash's sister. For serious."

"Yup... wait, do you know her?"

"Uh..." I couldn't screw this up. This was, like, the ultimate jackpot. The holy grail of all things Rainbow Dash. I would have kissed that filly... like, full-on made out with her if it wasn't completely illegal. So I did the next best thing. "Hey, how about you and I go get some ice cream or something? My treat for, you know, losing your scooter."


"...And then, after saving me from that cliff, she totally said she'd be cool with being my big sister!" Scootaloo had been rambling about Rainbow Dash at the ice cream parlor for a while, but it actually turned out to be really informative. "Uh, are you alright? You ate that ice cream pretty fast."

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine," I replied, nursing my ice cream headache with a hoof. "Brain freeze builds character. Carry on."

She didn't need me to tell her twice. "Like I was saying, it was pretty much the greatest moment of my entire life. I mean, THE Rainbow Dash, my big sister!" Scooping a huge glob of strawberry ice cream into her mouth, Scootaloo beamed with sisterly pride. "All the other members of the fan club were soooo jealous when I told them. Hey, I did mention the fan club, right?"

"Like, four times."

"Right. So, the best part of having Dash as my sister is that I have somepony to play with when Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom aren't around." She stirred her spoon around in the messy pink soup that remained of her ice cream. "I didn't have any siblings before, and my parents are always out of town, so... I got kind of lonely sometimes."

So Rainbow Dash essentially filled a gap in Scootaloo's life. That's a huge responsibility, but unfortunately, it didn't really help me much. I didn't see how adopting a sister could possibly relate to being a Wonderbolt; in fact, having siblings would honestly just hold me back. I didn't need some squirt pestering me when I could be training. Although I suppose having Scootaloo as a sister would be kind of cool. Everything else that Scootaloo told me was stuff I already knew; basically, Rainbow Dash was awesome.

"Well, that's pretty cool, Scootaloo. I can certainly think of worse sisters to have." I kicked up my hind legs onto the table, reclining in my surprisingly comfortable chair. I'd need to mention these to Joe back in Canterlot. "And don't worry about your parents. Heck, you're lucky they don't get up in your business."

"I dunno, they aren't so bad when they're actually around."

"Well, lemme tell you; try to do anything cool or fun, and they'll be all 'Oh Lightning Dust, don't be so reckless!' 'Fillies shouldn't get in fights, Lightning Dust!'"

"Did your parents really sound like that? Ha, that's hilarious!" I'm glad I was able to get a laugh out of her; all thinking about them did was piss me off, so I may have ended up ranting about it. "This one time, my dad came home and-"

Out of nowhere, the kid just suddenly froze up. "Whoa, you okay?" I was about to wave a hoof in her face, but she ducked under the table at light speed. I looked around for anything that could have caused this; this part of the town was surprisingly empty, although that may have been because it was getting late. All I saw were a couple of fillies walking by, but judging by their appearances, I figured they couldn't have been threatening to anypony. Hell, one of them was wearing glasses!

But they must have been the cause, because the second they were out of sight, Scootaloo got back up in her seat. "Oh, uh..." Her face was turning red; if I was afraid of a couple of frilly fillies, I'd probably be embarrassed too. "Sorry, I just really don't feel like dealing with them right now."

"What, are they giving you trouble? Because I'll beat them up."

Once again, I managed to get a smile out of her. "Heh, thanks, but I don't think that's a good idea. It's just... well, I mentioned the Cutie Mark Crusaders earlier, right?"

I scratched my head for a moment. "Yeah, I think you may have said something during the two seconds that weren't dedicated to Rainbow Dash."

"Well, those two pick on me and my friends for not having our cutie marks yet." Scootaloo tried to eat the remainder of her ice cream, but it just slipped from her spoon. "When the three of us are together, it's not so bad, but... when it's just me, I get mad but can't really fight back. Sweetie Belle is a lot better with words than I am, so she usually comes up with the comebacks. I just make myself look dumb..."

Poor kid. There are foals out there who deserve a good bullying way more then Scootaloo; I can name at least twelve, most of them from Cloudsdale. "Listen kid, I know the ups and downs to being a late bloomer."

"You do?"

"Sure. I didn't get my mark until I was almost thirteen! And let me tell you; if you think those little punks are bad, you should see some of the jerks from Cloudsdale. The pegasi there are crazy aggressive, and they aren't afraid to hit fillies."

Scootaloo didn't respond; she just kept giving me this sad look. It was making me sad, and I don't get sad easily. "Well, things were pretty bad, but a wise pony told me something that made it seem a little better."

"What did they say?"

"You just don't have your cutie mark yet because your body can't decide which of your awesome talents to show off."

"That... that actually makes a lot of sense." Scootaloo chuckled; it was a weak chuckle, but at least it was better than nothing. "Say, who told you that, anyway?"

I brushed a hoof on my chest and gave the kid a grin. "I did."

"Pfft..." She tried to stifle a laugh, but resistance was futile. The kid started hitting her tiny hooves against the table. "Hahaha! You told yourself... that's hilarious!" I didn't think it was that funny, but I suppose anything I say could instantly become comedic genius.

"Alright, alright. Don't have a heart atta- whoa!" I was too late. Pink sludge spilled all over the table and, judging by the quick yelp, Scootaloo's flank. A single clatter from the now-empty bowl broke the sudden silence. "Whoa, looks like you got... creamed, kiddo!"

Of course, she was too busy wiping at her messy coat to catch my actual joke. "Alright, you stay here. I'm gonna get some napkins." I got up from the table and flew to the other side of the parlor. While I was there, I couldn't help but admire the scenery. No flanks this time, but the sunset really did wonders for Ponyville's rustic setting. I'd probably have to come back here a few more times to get the information I wanted but... if it went more like this, with more cool ponies like Scootaloo, I could see myself enjoying the visits a little. Just a little.

Despite the fact that the kid and I were some of the only ponies around, there were some voices coming from nearby. It took me a second to realize that they were coming from the other side of the parlor, where I left Scootaloo. I grabbed a couple of napkins in my teeth and made my way back to the table. Turns out my seat was currently occupied.

"Looks like you finally found your special talent, Scootaloser." This classy line came from some pink little shit in a tiara, the same one we saw earlier. "Smells like strawberries!"

"Shut up!" The kid was trying to put up a fight, but what she told me earlier was starting to make itself evident. "I just spilled some ice cream, no need to sprain your tiara."

"Wow, better watch out. My tiara might get offended!" You know that obnoxious laugh that prissy chicks do when they think they're being clever? Yeah, that shit was filling my ears and I wasn't enjoying it one bit. "Where are the other two stooges? Decided they didn't want too much lame in one place?"

"Yeah, well... y-you're tiara looks stupid!"

Alright, I needed to put a stop to this, if only to end those pathetic comebacks. The pink one was too busy laughing at another pony's expense to notice me, which made it all the funnier when I dumped her out of my chair. "Sorry kiddo, this seat's taken."

"H-Hey!" Pink rubbed her flank which, unsurprisingly, had a tiara on it. Probably represented her talent for making other ponies what to shove headpieces up her ass. "What the heck is wrong with you?!"

My satisfaction from hurting a foal was short lived; I noticed that her silver friend, the one with the glasses, was chuckling. "What's so funny, nerd? You want a ride, too?"

"Hey, Diamond Tiara," she said, addressing her friend with what may have been the most uncreative name I'd heard all day. "Looks like Snails' cutie mark grew a body!"

That wasn't even clever, but Diamond Tiara seemed to think so because she was laughing her ass off. Thinking back on it, I think that was supposed to be a diss on my hairstyle; if that's the case, Four-Eyes is lucky I didn't realize it or I'd have killed her dead. That being said, the thought of a pony with a snail for a cutie mark is kind of sad, even though snails are pretty cool.

"Hey, Scootaloo, is that why you were hanging out with her?" Diamond Tiara was back on her feet, disappointingly unfazed by my surprise attack. "You can't just steal somepony's cutie mark. Sorry, blank flank!" Once again, the duo started laughing like the jerks they are. I would have done something, but past experience has taught me that picking fights with kids usually ends in tears. And restraining orders. Luckily, they were apparently bored of picking on Scootaloo and walked off to torment somepony else.

Scootaloo, on the other hand, looked like she was about to cry.

"Forget them." I wrapped a wing around the poor kid, although comforting others isn't really my thing. "Having no mark is better than having a spoon and a tiara as your talent."

"T-Thanks for hanging out with me." Scootaloo broke away from my wing and tried to walk away. "Sorry they made fun of you. I've gotta go, so... see ya."

"Not so fast, kid." I was actually having a pretty good day, and those little assholes decided to come along and ruin it. Well, what they didn't realize is that Lightning Dust doesn't go down without a fight. "Say, where are you headed? I'll walk with you."

"No, that's okay..." She was seriously downtrodden, which wasn't cool with me. "I don't want to cause anymore trouble for you."

"Sorry kid, but I'm gonna have to insist on this one. Where are we headed?"

"Well... I was gonna see if Apple Bloom could return something I lent to her, so..."

"Sweet Apple Acres it is. Lead the way."


"Alright, so I'm just gonna come right out and say it," I said to Scootaloo, who was keeping a small pace ahead of me on the path. "Why don't you just kick that chick's ass?"

"I can't fight with her." Scootaloo wiped a spot of ice cream from her coat with one of the napkins I gave her. "I'll get in trouble."

"Yeah, but if she's causing all the problems, she'll get in trouble too."

"No way. Her dad is rich, so she can just get away with anything." Unfortunately, this did present a bit of an issue; over privileged foals could get away with a lot more than the typical kid. Assuming Diamond Tiara was as rich as she seemed, she could very well be completely immune to punishment. Unless...

"Alright kid, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret." I looked around to make sure nopony was nearby; parents always seemed to get mad when I tried to give advice. I have no idea why, since my advice is usually extremely helpful and constructive. "It's a trick I used to deal with bullies back when I was in school."

Scootaloo just shook her head. "That's okay. Applejack said we should just talk to her if we have any trouble with bullies."

Typical hillbilly logic right there. "Okay, and how much help has that been?"

"Um... well, it stopped one bully..."

"Well, clearly it didn't stop two others. Now listen..." I leaned in close, until I was practically talking straight into her ear. "The reason you get in trouble for fights is because you start them."

"Um, yeah..."

"So the solution," I whispered, double checking to make sure nopony could hear, "is to get the bully to start the fight. Then, you finish it. Even a rich pony like Diamond Tiara wouldn't be able to pin the blame on you."

Confusion was painted all over Scootaloo's face. "Couldn't she just tell her dad that I started the fight? Then I'd get in trouble anyway."

"That's why you need witnesses." A huge stretch of farmland was fast approaching; I could only assume it was Sweet Apple Acres. "Bring your friends along, and maybe neutral party or two that can vouch for you. There's no way she can deny eyewitness reports from a bunch of ponies."

"Well, even if I did try that, how would I get her to start a fight?" Scootaloo and I stopped in front of a fence on the farm. "I can't really see Diamond Tiara fighting at all, let alone starting one."

"That's the easy part." I picked up a stray apple in the grass and started eating it. It was actually really buckin' good. "You need to figure out something about her that she doesn't want to get out in the open. Something that will really get under her skin."

"Wait, you mean blackmail her?"

"Well kind of, except it's not bits your after." She didn't look nearly as convinced as I thought she would. "Look, it always worked for me when my classmates gave me crap. I don't see why it wouldn't work for you."

"I dunno... do you really think she'd go for that?"

I wrapped my wing around her for sort-of-but-not-really-sisterly reassurance. "Trust me. Nothing hurts more than having your weakness rubbed in your face."

Scootaloo looked like she was thinking pretty hard about what I said, but I recognized the look in her eyes. She was hurt, and she wanted to give some of that hurt back. I almost felt bad for those two rejects. The kid looked up at me with fierce determination. "It sounds kind of shady, but... you really think it's a good idea?"

"I know it's a good idea." To show how much I meant it, I started throwing sweet hoof jabs in the air. "Once you rustle her a little, you can get her like this, you know, really beat the living shi-"

"Whoa now, what in the hay are you doin' over there?!"

Uh oh, angry redneck alert! An orange mare with an admittedly cool stetson somehow managed to sneak up on us while I was giving my bullying lecture. Upon closer inspection, she was actually pretty hot for a hillbilly. "Sorry lady, is this fence off limits?"

She wasn't really in the mood for jokes, it turned out. "Scootaloo, Apple Bloom's in the house. Go play with her for a bit."

"Alright, Applejack." Scootaloo made her way towards the small house on the farm, but gave me one last look. "Thanks for today, Lightning Dust. I'll... think about what you told me. Bye!" Hearing that made me feel a little better. I could definitely see why Rainbow Dash would want Scootaloo to be her sister; I was even starting to see her as, like, a cousin or something. Which would make me the cool, sexy cousin who shows up to give awesome life lessons and stuff.

Applejack, on the other hand, didn't look too thrilled. Figures, there's always gotta be at least one pony trying to bring me down. She was really pissed, though; if she was glaring any harder, I think her eyes would have imploded. "What in the flyin' buck were you tryin' to teach that filly?" My skin was practically burning from her hissing.

"I was just giving her some advice on dealing with bullies," I said, doing a much better job of keeping my cool than she was. "Apparently, some bonehead gave her the old 'tell an adult' speech, but that didn't work out. Wonder who that could have been?"

"Bonehead, huh? Kinda like insensitive blowhards who think violence solves everythin'?"

"Don't know who you're talking about. I'm just doing what some other ponies apparently couldn't do."

"Oh, you must think yer so... hold on a tick, I swear I've seen you before." Applejack's glare started to turn into more of an analytic stare. Suddenly, her eyes shot wide open. "Heck, I know you! Yer that crazy fool from Dash's Wonderbolt camp!"

There was no way she could have known that, unless... "Okay, first off, it's an academy, not a camp." I got right up in her face, to let her know I meant business. "Second, you must have been there, which means you were one of the idiots in that balloon, which means that you're friends with Rainbow Dash."

"That's right, we were goin' to see our good friend Dash, but somepony darn near killed us." The cowpony broke our standoff; I guess she couldn't handle my intense staring abilities. "Now that same loose cannon is tryin' to get fillies to kill each other. I sure hope you haven't killed any ponies while you were here, since it seems like that's what yer all about."

"Hey now, you don't know me. I was trying to help the poor kid. You should have seen those kids who were picking on her!"

Applejack was gritting her teeth, but she let out a sigh. It looked like she was at least trying to cool off. "Ugh... alright, I'm sure you were just tryin' to help." Once the anger started to wear off, it was obvious that she was pretty worn out. Considering she's an earth pony who does farm work for a living, I had to wonder what could have possibly drained her energy. "My families got somethin' comin' up, so I've been runnin' around tryin' to get it set up. Sorry, but it's stressin' me out a bit."

"Are you talking about the Apple Family Reunion?" Let nopony ever try to say that I don't listen, even to insane rednecks.

"Yeah, that's the one. Granny's usually runnin' the show, but she's gettin' a little up there in years. I'm tryin' my best to help out, but I don't know what I can do to make it better."

"Hmm... well, I don't know much about parties. Canterlot's parties are about as lame as they get." I was fine with that, though. I'm honestly not much of a party goer. If there aren't obnoxious nobles, there are obnoxious drunks.

"Canterlot? You strike me more as a Cloudsdale sort." She had no idea how many times I had heard that. At least it wasn't from a Canterlot citizen this time. "I've got a cousin who lives in Canterlot. Apple Fritter, you ever heard of her?"

An Apple living in Canterlot? Color me surprised. Still, I guess an awesome pegasus living in Canterlot wasn't much better. "Can't say I've heard of any Apples in Canterlot. I usually keep to myself."

"Heh, consider yourself lucky." She was chuckling, but there was certainly a bit of bitterness in Applejack's voice. "That crazy lush ruins just about everything she touches. She can raise a mean barn, though. I thought maybe you'd have met her, bein' as, uh, out of sorts in Canterlot as she is." The chuckle got a little more nervous, until she eventually reached under her hat and pulled something out. Turned out that it was an envelope. "If yer headin' back there eventually, I don't suppose you could, uh..."

"You want me to deliver that letter to your cousin for you." Well, if it could get me closer to one of Rainbow Dash's friends, I didn't see the harm in it. "Where does she live? I'll have it there in a jiffy."

"You'll really do that, after I yelled at you? Well shucks, I guess you ain't too bad after all!" Of course I'm not bad, why would anypony think otherwise? Unless she meant badass, which I most certainly am. "She lives in Canterlot Castle."

"The castle? No shit." Family in high places, I guess.

"Crazy, I know. But trust me, Fritter ain't no princess." Applejack passed the letter over to me, which I placed under my wing. "It's actually an invitation to the reunion. It, uh... accidentally got separated from the, uh, other letters, and didn't get sent out. Yes, that is exactly what happened."

That was quite possibly the worst attempt at a lie I had ever heard, but I wasn't about to ask why she didn't invite her own cousin. "Alright, I'll have this delivered in ten seconds flat."

"Heh, you kinda sounded like Dash for a second."

"Yeah, well, I guess we have a lot in common." Not enough in common, though; after all, that was the entire reason I was there. "I'm actually trying to learn what I can about her, so I can try to fix some things about myself."

"Well, since yer helping me out, I'll do what I can if you need to know somethin'."

We got off to a pretty rough start, but I guess Applejack wasn't too bad. At the very least, she didn't take shit, and I can definitely respect that. Still, all that talking had distracted me from the fact that it was getting a little dark out. Heading back to Canterlot probably wouldn't be a bad idea. "Right, well, I'm gonna head out now, so see ya la-"

Impact was the word of the day, because once again, I was floored by something. Except in this case, it was more like somepony. That frazzled grey mess standing over me was all too familiar. "Oh geez, sorry about that... hey, I remember you! From earlier!" Ditzy Doo seemed awfully cheerful, considering that I was two bits and a redneck away from beating the shit out of her.

"Ditzy, ain't yer mail route supposed to be over already?" Applejack slapped a hoof to her face. "Don't tell me you got distracted by her again..."

Her could only be referring to Sweet-Cheeks, if the mailmare's earlier behavior was any indication. I can't really blame her, considering the caliber of flanks we were dealing with. Still, curiosity demanded that I investigate further. "Whoa, does Crosseyes have a thing for Rarity?"

"W-What?" Once again, Ditzy's feathers got way too ruffled. "I, uh, don't know what you're talking about." She tried to stand her ground by making a serious face, but I don't think she could look serious if she tried.

"It ain't exactly a secret. I hope you don't plan to waste time at Rarity's tomorrow, too." Applejack took some letters from Ditzy's abnormally jittery hoof. "There's gonna be a nasty storm tomorrow, so you don't want to be out and about any longer than you need to be."

"Ugh, don't remind me," Ditzy whined. "The temps got let go recently, so we're understaffed. It's just gonna be me tomorrow."

"Well shucks, if only there was somepony who could help you out." Suddenly, Applejack got a mischievous look. She started looking at me while stroking her chin, which kind of got a little worried. "Somepony who's good at this sort of thing."

Subtlety was not part of Applejack's vocabulary; it was obvious what she was getting at. "Look, I'm delivering this letter because it's not a major inconvenience for me. I'm not gonna deliver mail for an entire town, especially not for free." It was just ridiculous; what benefit could I have gained from doing that?

"Come on, now. Scared of a little storm?"

"Who, me? Are you kidding?" I'm amazing at a lot of things. Like, shitloads of things. But hazardous weather management happens to be the one talent I have that's so amazing, it's proudly displayed on my ass at all times. If there's one thing I'm not afraid of, it's bad weather. "I love storms. Love 'em."

I didn't realize at the time, but I was playing right into Applejack's hoof. "Well then, this would be the perfect chance to show off what a great, Rainbow Dash-like flier you really are, right?" Dammit, I couldn't argue with that. Besides, delivering letters would allow me to meet just about every pony in town; if I didn't meet somepony with useful information that way, I didn't know how I would. Aside from riding scooters, of course.

Let the records show that I, Lightning Dust, conceded that day. "Alright, fine. I'll do Ditzy's job for her tomorrow. Hell, she can even stay home if she wants."

The two mares gave me these goofy smiles. I'd let them have their victory just that one time. "Alright, it's a deal then." Applejack slapped me on the shoulder, which didn't do any favors for my slightly aching back. "See you bright an' early tomorrow!"

"I'll make sure to show you the ropes, Lightning Dust!" Ditzy held out her hoof. So naturally, I bumped it. I guess she was going for a hoof shake, because she looked a little confused.

Applejack seemed a little confused, too. "Well shucks, did ya'll already meet earlier, uh, Lightning Dust?"

It was my turn to be confused, but not because of her question. I certainly remembered meeting Ditzy at Rarity's place earlier. Something else was bothering me. "Yeah, we met a while ago. Alright, I'd love to stay and chat, but I should really get going."

"Well alright, it was nice meetin' you."

"See you tomorrow, Dust!"


So ended my first day in Ponyville. All in all, it didn't turn out as horribly as I had expected. I met some weirdos, but I also met some really cool ponies. Almost as cool as me, even... okay, maybe not. But Scootaloo definitely had potential, and Applejack was alright. A little too country for my tastes, though. And of course, there was the lovely Miss Rarity. I'd deliver her mail anytime.

Of course, there was also Ditzy. She seemed innocent enough, but sketchy at the same time, however that works. What concerned me the most, though, was just how awkward she was about everything. For example, addressing me by my name when I never actually introduced myself to her. She could have overheard me talking to Rarity, but that's still a little creepy.

I was probably just over thinking it.