I Am Not the Actor

by cleverpun

11. Inside Outside

11. Inside Outside

“Ya think we should've explained who Princess Celestia was?” Applejack asked. Her voice was barely a whisper.

“I don't think I could if I wanted to,” Rarity replied. “Explaining an entire government to Pinkie would be as bad as explaining Pinkie to the Princess.”

“And, uhm, how's that going?”

Rarity bit her lip. “I'll admit it's not something I am eager to do. You saw how she reacted when Twilight cast that spell on that doll. The only other time I've seen her angry was at the wedding. It's not something I'm looking forward to seeing again.”

Applejack glanced back at Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie was still waving away her guests. “What makes ya think she’ll be angry?”

Rarity sighed. Her home was far enough away that there was no excuse not to answer. “She’ll be angry because we did not tell her sooner, for one.”

“Won’t puttin’ it off make it worse?”

“Of course it will,” Rarity said softly. “But you’ll forgive me if I am not in a rush to tell the ruler of Equestria that the Elements of Harmony are useless.”

Applejack opened her mouth to respond, but the words were not as prompt as her reaction. “Oh,” she finally
said. “I guess I didn’t even think about that.” She scratched her head for a moment. “I suppose Pinkie ain’t exactly a barrel a laughs, is she?”

“I’ll admit I was going to try asking the others about it tonight, but, well...” Rarity’s eyes flicked back to Sugarcube Corner. Even behind her mane and under darkness, the motion was clear as day. “It wasn’t easy to work up the nerve.” Rarity forced out a chuckle. “I don’t suppose you would be interested? Element of Honesty, and all that?

Applejack didn’t answer.

Rarity sighed again, though it was noticeably longer. “I don’t blame you.”

---

The party had been perfect. It had gone perfectly. It could not have been better. Pinkie couldn’t even think of enough ways to say how well it went. Every pony she had invited had shown up, though it was too bad that Twilight had to leave early.

Everypony else had stayed for a while, but there had been a lot of food leftover. Perhaps she could make less for the next one, or offer to let them take some of it home. Could you eat party food at your house?

Pinkie bounced up the stairs and towards her room. There were so many questions to ask, so many adjustments to make for the next party. She could write all sorts of notes and then read them and then the next party would be even better. If this party had been a success, then just think of how amazing the next one would be!

Pinkie crossed the threshold of her room, intending to go straight for her journal. As her eyes scanned across the desk for a quill, she paused. For the first time that she could think of, Pinkie felt tired. Preparing a party had been harder than she thought, but it was worth it to make her friends feel better.

Her gaze turned to the bed. She would have plenty of time to get started tomorrow. She had the rest of her life, after all. With that thought in her mind, she slunk under the covers and promptly fell asleep.

---

The classroom was quiet. Dozens and dozens of desks stretched across it, arranged in a perfect grid. Everywhere she looked, there were more desks. Hers was the only occupied one, by the looks of it.

“Hello?” Pinkie called. “Anyone there?”

“You really shouldn’t talk in class, you know. You might get in trouble.”

Pinkie looked to her right. The desk was occupied by another Pinkie.

“Oh, hi Pinkie! Where’s everypony else?”

“My name’s not Pinkie, it’s Bell.” She glanced at the door. “You really shouldn’t talk in class, the teacher will be here soon.” She leaned over and put a hoof near her mouth. “You wouldn’t want to get expelled on your first day, would you?”

Pinkie opened her mouth to respond, but another voice interrupted her.

“Don’t listen to her, she’s just a suckup.”

Another Pinkie was sitting on her left. Her mane was flat and straight, but otherwise she looked the same.

“Dancer, don’t say that!” Bell whispered loudly. “You know I’m right, lots of ponies have gotten expelled before. I don’t want to go out there all alone…”

“Anything would be better than this stupid classroom,” Dancer muttered. “Everything is, nothing is.”

“That’s not true!” Bell clamped a hoof over her mouth. She glanced at the door again and leaned in. “That’s not true,” she whispered. “Moment graduated.”

“She got lucky. Love should have passed that test.”

“I should have?” Another Pinkie leaned in. “What are we talking about?”

“Bell is just being a suckup again. She keeps saying if you complain you disappear.” Dancer leaned back in her chair. “She doesn’t realize we’re all helpless anyway.”

“Ooh, that reminds me!” Love hopped off her desk. “I’m supposed to be teaching today!”

“What!” Bell’s hooves clamped onto her desk. “But what about the regular teacher?”

“I am the regular teacher, silly!” Love sat down. The teacher’s desk was much wider and taller and bigger and darker than the other desks. It was almost a table. Love pulled a giant notepad from underneath it and glanced at the first page. “Alrighty lighty flighty, time for attendance. We already know Bell and Dancer are here.” Love made a large, sharp checkmark on two of the drawings. “And it looks like we have a new student!” Love looked up from the notepad, directly at Pinkie. “What’s your name, new girl?”

“Oh, that’s easy!” Pinkie chirped. “I’m Pinkie Pie.”

Silence struck the classroom. The kind of silence you could stick a fork in and take a bite of.

Love scratched her head. “That’s odd, normally that name is only reserved for graduates.” She chewed absently on her pencil. “I suppose I can mark you here, though. I’ll definitely have to check with the principal later.”

Love pulled a thick stack of papers from a drawer. “Alrighty, everypony take out your textbooks! Time for a quiz!”

“What’s the point?” Dancer muttered.

Bell didn’t say anything. She just smiled confidently.

“Textbooks?” Pinkie looked down. Her journal was sitting on the desk.

“Is something wrong, new girl?”

“No, it’s just—” Pinkie looked up. Twilight Sparkle was staring at her.

“I asked you a question, new girl,” Twilight snapped.

Pinkie looked to her left. Bell was scribbling on a piece of paper.

Pinkie looked to her right. Dancer was leaning in her chair, her test untouched.

“Well?”

“I, uhm, don’t think I studied,” Pinkie said softly. Her head drifted downward. Her desk was empty, save a single piece of paper. There were hundreds of little drawings on it, of party hats and scissors and sandwiches and cupcakes and so many other things that Pinkie didn’t recognize.

Twilight smiled. A lot of teeth showed, and her lips kept creeping backward, revealing more and more. “Didn’t study? Well, we can’t have that. This is a school, not a fun factory.”

“I didn’t mean to!” Pinkie stammered. “I didn’t know there would be a test.”

Twilight leaned forward, her nose inches from Pinkie’s. “Life is a test, new girl. Everything you do, everything you think, everything you make is tested by someone. We can’t have failures in this life or any other. They don’t deserve it.”

“Of course I deserve it!” Pinkie shouted. “One test shouldn’t change that!” She glanced to her left, then to her right. No one was there.

Twilight’s smile had too many teeth. It had outgrown her face, like a flytrap that had broken free of its pot. “You only earned what we gave you. Of course one test can change that. I’d call that a bargain, more than you deserve.” Twilight’s forehead was pressing against Pinkie’s. Her back was hunched over, her eyes inches from Pinkie’s face. She poked Pinkie’s chest. “If you think you deserved better, then prove it.”

“How?”

Twilight opened a drawer and pulled a piece of paper from her desk. “Pop quiz! One question should be plenty.” She turned her head, and when her gaze settled on Pinkie her smile returned. “Think you can handle it, new girl?”

“Of course I can!”

Twilight put a hoof to her mouth and loudly cleared her throat. “First question. Only question. The question.” Twilight looked up from the index card, her expression empty. “Who are you?”

“What?”

“Who are you?”

Bell, Love, and Dancer leaned towards Pinkie, their cold breaths pressing against her ears and coat and mane. “You heard her. Who are you?” Dancer said. “Who? Who?” The others repeated.

Pinkie looked up. The kitchen was a mess. Twilight and the other Pinkies stood in front of the counter, waiting for her answer.

“I’m—”

Pinkie’s eyes popped open and she sat up, quickly and violently. Her room looked the same as always; even in the dark the bright pastel décor was easy to recognize. She glanced at the clock—she hadn’t been asleep very long.

“Well, that was a weird dream!” She rolled out of her bed. Her coat stuck to the sheets for the briefest moment, a glint of sweat visible in the darkness. She shook her head and started towards the kitchen. As long as she was awake, she could practice some more of those pie recipes.

Comments

[Levana]

It seems to me like the rest of the original Pinkie is in this Pinkie's mind, she just doesn't know that she's there. We can only hope...

[ShadowBrony]

Huh, looks like Pinkie is still closer then you think. Interesting turn of events.

[RK_Striker_JK_5]

Pinkie's in there, just not truly able to come out.

Still hoping Twilight gets sent to jail/horn sawed off.

[Rubiks_Err0R]

3677255 Okay, not cool. Just because Twilight's gone off the deep end doesn't mean you can say that. ...the horn thing, I mean; I'm cool with her going to jail.

[Midnight Rambler]

OUT OF MY BRAIN ON THE FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE FIFTEEN!

So many references. Now I have to listen to Quadrophenia again.

Also, damn this story is dark.

[A_Rarity]

3676120 Duly noted, we read the same kind of stories :/

[ShiningNova]

Twilight's nightmare transformation made me think of Daemon of Decay's "Asylum". Also this story is getting dark fast... I love it

[TheGreatEater]

said. “I guess I didn’t even think about that.” She scratched her head for a moment. “I suppose Pinkie ain’t

move next to the word finally
___________________

[PaulAsaran]

Oh, look, they're finally discussing Celestia. Took 'em long enough.

I can't tell if Pinkie Clone is legitimately clueless or just trying to avoid the obvious issues. I want to say it's that second one, but you're complete lack of description regarding body language or her dialogue leaves me uncertain. Yes, she was sweating in bed. For all I've been given, that could be a subconscious reaction and nothing that she's directly aware of. Or it could just be hot.

Also, when the heck to the Cakes come home?

[Alex Warlorn]

And this is what happens when you don't tell a child they FAILED at something and pretend they did good!!

I wonder if Luna will enter the clone's dreams.

I wonder . . . was that the mirror pool? Pieces of original pinkie pie's own psyche?

This was as weird and warped as a dream should be.

She glanced at the clock—she hadn’t been asleep very long.

0-0 SHE UNDERSTAND HOW THE CLOCK WORKS NOW?!